Hold all my calls.
[giggles]
♪ Boss Baby ♪
♪ I'm the Boss, Boss Baby, boss, boss Boss Baby, boss, boss ♪
♪ Watch a itty-bitty kid get large ♪
♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪
♪ Stroller rolling Up and down the boulevard ♪
♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪
♪ I run this house, I rule this crib ♪
♪ Change my diaper, son Where's my bib? ♪
♪ Don't pacify You just got to pay me ♪
-♪ Who's in charge? ♪ -♪ Me, the Boss Baby ♪
[gasps]
-Thanks for the lift. -[babbling]
My story? Long and tragic. You see... Oh, this is your stop?
[sighs]
Baby Corp's offices have been taken over by a wicked conglomeration--
Puppy Co, those Pyg and Tam maniacs, and, cover your ears if you must...
a consultant.
[crying]
The enemies sabotaged our chupies!
They scattered my employees, gah-gah knows where.
-I barely escaped-- -[giggles]
Stop it. And now I have no way to--
Aw! Stop!
No way to get back or find my employees.
Aah! I'm not your stuffie!
Helping babies has always been my raison d'être, but...
now my soul feels like a raisin-- shriveled, ruining cookies.
[coos]
Well, there's always some way to help a baby, I suppose.
Here you... [groans]
-[gasps] -[Elise screams]
I used to be good at this, I promise.
[crying]
Take care, Elise! Sorry about the duck.
[coos]
[sighs]
-You okay? -Been better.
-Where's everyone else? -Follow me.
This is all that's left?
Well, we're the ones who thought to make it to your house
after the chupies went haywire.
Bad guys jammed our monitors, too. We're in the dark.
No brothers? Now my brain now work bad. Tummy sickies.
I hear you, one of the triplets. But some of us made it here.
And others will come! We will get stronger!
For we are Baby Corp. We may be five now, but soon we'll...
Uh, let's get out there and...
[sighs]
Are you okay, Boss?
Of course, I am. Leadership is like breathing to me.
So, friends, Baby Co, um, we are the ones...
[sighs] I can't do it.
-What's wrong? -I don't know.
Ooh!
Psst.
Meet you in my room? I got to go talk to some tree babies.
[laughs]
I used to call them that, too. Turns out the word is "acorns."
Have a good chat!
[Tim] What's going on?
Long story, but the short version is Baby Corp got scattered
and your brother needs your help.
Um... Sure, maybe, but the thing is it's just...
[Ted] Danny Petrosky is moving away tomorrow.
Tim needs to spend the day with him, because every moment is precious.
One day everyone may get scattered by technologic sabotage,
and you won't be able to tell them everything you should've,
and it'll be all your fault because you failed them as a leader!
Or your friend could move away, same diff.
-We got this, Templeton. -You're sure? Because--
I'm sure. Go make some memories.
Tomorrow I'm all in with you guys, but you won't need me
'cause you're the best and will solve everything, bye!
Tomorrow could be too late!
Our enemies will only get more powerful now that they have our office.
-And all our sweet tech! -They could strike at any moment!
What do we do?
[Staci] Boss!
The five suit challenge? Couch bowling? Pizza tacos? Yes!
Everything we've ever wanted to do together.
And we have one day left to do it all,
starting with big old number one greatest thing on the list...
write a bro-jam for the ages!
Let's do that right now!
I already know the first chord.
-That's amazing! -Now, what should the first word be?
Um...
-I got it. Bros. -♪ Bros... ♪
Okay, uh, now what?
♪ Bros, rockin' all day, Rollin' all night ♪
And then... ♪ Feeling all right ♪
Aah!
-What's wrong? -It's all clichés!
The chords, the words. There's no meaning.
It means we're rockin' and rollin' bros!
-I think it's good. -Good? This has to be for the ages!
From the biblical time of horses to the first colony of moon horses.
I don't think we've lived enough to write a song like that.
Yet! We're doing this backwards.
If we want to write an immortal bro-jam, we have to live the bro life first.
Let's go find inspiration from the sweet nectar of life experience!
[woman over TV] All right, Gregory, let's stump that chimp!
Here's your first monkey challenger: Dr. Banana!
-Heh. He's no doctor. -I've been looking everywhere for you!
-What are you doing? -Making a big decision.
-Should I root for Gregory or the chimp? -What? Okay, enough. Come on!
-I might be Team Greg. -[groans]
That monkey is so smug.
Our team is still scattered.
We need an action plan. Every second counts!
[Greg over TV] I'll take "Banana Parts" for 50.
Greg, "Banana Parts"?
You think that's the category to stump Dr. Banana?
-Boss! Yo! -I know. I want me off this couch, too.
Unfortunately, failure is a shackle. And this is a snackle.
[Staci] Aah! Right now!
We're at the tipping point between a world with Baby Corp and a world without!
What happens if we're not out there fighting for baby love?
Pet baby, meet the newest addition to our family, a brand-new... puppy!
[barks]
[doorbell rings]
-I caught it pooping in my yard. -[coos]
I am so sorry.
Oh, honey, look at this adorable old!
Oh, that's the cutest old I've ever seen!
Aw, shucks!
[coos]
Down, baby, down! We're trying to feed the... hamburger!
Aw. I wuv our wittle hamburger!
Well, it could happen. The world needs Baby Corp.
What Baby Corp? The four of you who cared enough to come back?
Four, Stace, out of the whole company. Who am I leading?
Hi. I'm Marsha Krinkle with this Channel 8 news break.
Hairless forest creature, first sighted outside Chicago.
The beast appears to be on a path headed straight to our town! Yowza!
Is that...
Police report increased cookie thefts along its route.
Earning this beast the nickname "Cookiecabra."
-Oh, yeah, that's Jimbo. -He's running here? From outside Chicago?
You know it won't just be Jimbo. The team is out there.
They want to fight. They just need someone to show them the way back.
Staci, I believe we can... Go ahead and...
I decree...
You just need to get a couple of wins under your belt. Come on!
With no Baby Corp tech,
I've been searching for lost worker babies the old fashioned way... telephone.
Hello there. This is a grown-up adult in the same town as you.
Have you seen any babies in business clothing?
-Police scanner. -We've got a zero-zero-zero in progress.
-That means I'm hungry for three donuts! -And newspapers.
I found a food review about dainty desserts showing up at a local restaurant.
"Oaty cereal rounds floating in splattered applesauce"? That's Dondre!
-Go bring him home, Boss! -I will.
The rest of you should... you know, um... Here... There...
-Split up? Cover more ground? -Yeah, sure.
One pizza, chopped up into bits, served in crunchy taco shells.
We, um... don't have that.
My good man, this is the last day
my friend and I are able to spend together.
-But we don't have that. -I see you have pizza.
You also appear to have crispy-shell tacos.
-Yes? -Voìla!
We'll gladly pay a premium
and tip the chef for the custom preparation.
Right away, sir.
We ordered pizza tacos and he called us sir! I feel like a king.
Quartered grapes on grahams!
Mmm. Delicate! Decadent! Dondre!
-Ah, Boss Baby! -Impressive work.
-I don't know how you do it. -Thank you!
I sneak into the kitchen late at night and prepare the most wonderful desserts.
Look at the joy I bring people.
We could use those dishes back at Baby Corp.
Come on. Let's go.
Baby Corp? What I am but a servant?
Did you see my review in the paper? Here I am a genius!
You are! But we need you back.
There comes a thing to... Babies need...
[Ted] Uh, hold up. Um...
I am happy here.
Understood.
-Woah! -Woah!
Woah!
[overlapping dialogue]
Hey, hey, hey, welcome back, everyone! Good work.
I found an intern in a big mailbox!
I found three of them jammed in a tube slide!
-How did you do, Boss? -Failed.
Par for the course at Boss Baby Pines Country Club.
Throw him an easy one, man. He just needs a shot at victory.
Yo, Double-B, police report two possible tiny trespassers
at the old Bubbeezee headquarters.
Oh, yeah? I'd bet my salary that's Frankie and Simmons.
Peg and Chip!
-Boss! -So happy you're okay!
-What a thing with the chupies, huh? -I zapped into a fisherman's gut bucket!
Come on. Let's go. We're getting the team back together.
-We're good. -Yeah. We'd rather stay here.
-Uh... This is an empty office. -I know! It's so quiet here.
No co-worker drama, definitely no puppies and preeks.
-We're going to take care of all that. -How?
With the power of...
[sighs]
I can't believe the window washers are letting us do this!
Dump it!
And... go!
How many have you brought back? Be honest.
Let's just say more than some?
[yowls]
But don't worry about it! You'll bring back 20 babies next time!
Looks like there's a new mannequin at Junior Fancy's.
Hello, good sir.
My friend and I would like to try on five suits.
[both] At the same time!
-Come on, Amal! Please come with me? -Don't blow my cover!
So, to be clear, you would rather stand still forever
than help me take back Baby Corp?
There's a comfort in letting go.
[sighs] Godspeed, Amal.
Or, I guess, God-stand-still.
This is truly one of the greatest things we've ever done.
Dad! Come back?
No, I'm going to stick with the old raft. It feels like a vacation.
[Ted sighs]
So, you're staying? Here? As a dog?
-[imitates dog] Bark, bark, bark. -[yells]
I'm just a diggety doggity, and my name is Bicycle the dog.
-[boy imitates dog] Arf, arf, arf. -[sighs]
Aw, man.
Taking a break from all the baby retrieving?
All the employees are scared.
It'd be hard for anyone to coax them back to Baby Corp.
-Psst. We all clear, Stace? -Yeah. Go ahead.
Fine. You're not at your best right now.
Neither was I after that Small Pocks diaper marketing disaster.
But who brought me back?
Somebody a lot better at the job than I am right now.
You're still the same you.
You've just got some dumb nugget in your brain
blocking the genius from coming through.
What's it gonna take to knock that nugget out?
Divine intervention? Ah! What?
This is a sign.
That you should help us. Because we are stuck in a tree.
[both giggles]
-[clatters] -Oh!
Well, I feel ready to write an epic bro-jam for the ages.
No. There's one more thing we must do... the airing of the beefs.
For our friendship to survive, we must hash out our disagreements.
We must light a candle to the farts we have unleashed upon each other!
You sure this is a good idea?
What if wind up even madder at each other than we were when we got mad?
Exactly why I've assembled a panel of impartial judges.
To the community center to air the beefs!
[farts]
[laughs]
What was that?
Ah. I was hoping it'd be beefier, for effect.
Kind of surprised to see you all, sir.
I assumed the board would be in some executive panic room bunker.
And we were, until Hermano Menor got lured out with a duckie toy on a string.
And the duckie looked so fun and friendly! I figured we must be safe.
Out he goes, in come our enemies, and, well, here we are.
Bright side: the bad guys let me keep the duckie.
Am I embarrassed? Yes. But what can you do?
Hermano Menor is my brother,
and there is no shame in sticking by your family.
[sighs]
This entire thing happened because I put helping my brother
before protecting Baby Corp.
I know. Why do you think I'm telling you this story?
It's an illustrative example meant to apply to your situation.
You guys got that, right?
-Completely! -Totally. Makes sense.
Um... Your Majesty, or whatever,
wonder if you could put a little more mustard on that.
-BB's really in a funk. -Staci!
Like, tell him he's the greatest CEO of all time or something.
-Well, now it's not going to be sincere. -But, Staci, I already did.
Baby love fuels Baby Corp, but family love creates baby love.
Boss Baby is a master of both. He makes both stronger.
Um, could you just say the thing Staci?
You are the greatest CEO of all time.
Yes! Let's save Baby Corp!
[clears throat]
Myself, Midge Marksberry, and Officer Doug will help air the beefs
standing in the way of eternal friendship between Mr. Petrosky and Mr. Templeton.
-Now, who would like to go first? -You have to call on one of us.
We need this process to be as impartial as possible.
[indistinct chattering]
We choose the Templeton boy.
Okay.
[sighs]
Danny, when we were in preschool,
you ripped my "Biggest Little Froggy" book.
-You told me to! -Why would I do that?
-You handed it to me and said "rip it." -Stop lying and apologize!
Can we talk about how this one pasted my shoe onto my face?
-That was an accident. -How can that be an accident?
By me accidentally pasting a shoe to your face.
Let me tell you what Baby Corp means to me.
It's not just a workplace. It's a family.
And no one in a family should go without feeling appreciated.
So, thank you, Dondre.
The extravagance you bring to your executive dining room
inspires babies to rise to the top.
I will follow you, Boss Baby,
but only because this dessert has been destroyed by my joyful tear.
I will take that as a win.
I will never talk to you again!
I didn't steal your grandfather's steelie shooter marble!
Well, I did steal your remote control snake.
I know! So I ripped that "Number One Ragamuffin"
patch off your jacket.
That's why I stole your shoes with sweet pockets in them.
Now you know why I took the candy your dad brought you
from the vending machine at the military base in the Earth's core!
Shh! Not around the government!
Tension, anxiety, unpredictability.
Am I talking about a workplace or a family? I don't know!
But what I do know is that without your ruthlessness, Chip,
and without your tenacity, Peg, we will never take back our home.
The Baby Corp family needs you. To victory!
Who gets dibs on an entire bucket of chicken?
Someone trying to enjoy life to the fullest!
-Boys! We feel-- -Let's get back to my steelie shooter.
I didn't steal it!
-Do you want our friendship to fail? -Of course not.
Then why won't you admit you stole my steel marble family heirloom?
Because I didn't steal it! I swallowed it.
[all gaps]
Why wouldn't you just tell me?
I thought I could use the marble to see the back of my teeth
after you said there were little green critters that lived back there.
I stand by that.
Well, I lost my grip on the marble and it slid down my throat.
I almost died!
And a few days later, it came out from the other end, into the toilet.
I was too embarrassed and way too grossed out to fish for it.
I'm sorry for not telling you the truth about pooping your marble.
I forgive you.
I hereby declare all beefs successfully aired.
Let friendship ring!
Epic bro-jam!
Oh!
[all laugh]
-Oh, look at that baby! -Aw. My-- Ho, ho!
I could give you a big inspirational speech, or...
[sniffs]
Bark, bark, bark!
-[boy imitates dog] Arf! -He says he'll come back!
[imitates dog] Woof!
But he still has some doggy business first?
-Bark, bark, bark! -What's that, boy? You found Jimbo?
What? Is that true?
[sniffs] Woof!
-Jimbo! -Boss! Get me out of here!
You've become a legend, Jimbo! [groans]
-They're calling you the Cookiecabra. -[gasps]
-I've never been legendary before! -[groans]
Is everyone else okay?
Safe in my family's basement.
-[groans] -[imitates dog] Bark, bark, bark...
You always wanted to be a dog! [giggles]
I'm so proud!
[all groan]
-It's no use. I need a big kid. -I'll wait here!
That's the most epic bro-jam chord I've ever heard!
-Wait until you hear the next one! -[Ted babbling]
Uh. Just a sec.
I need your help.
But Danny and I are finally writing our epic bro-jam.
Three minutes.
[sighs]
I got to help my brother. I'll see you in three minutes.
You'll see me in two and a half.
Because you're taking Thunder Dumpling.
-There you go. -Ooh!
Thank you, Tim! Thank you, Boss! You're the best, Boss.
For some reason, hearing that from you makes me finally believe it.
Gotta get back to Danny, you guys have fun, I can help tomorrow, bye!
Danny?
[Danny] "Dearest Timothy, due to reports of the Cookiecabra,
a harbinger of government scientists,
my dad had to pull us out of here, stat.
I miss you already, buddy. Take care of Thunder Dumpling.
She's yours now.
Heart, heart. Skull. Flaming guitar. Danny."
[car engine starts]
[dramatic music]
I'm... so sorry.
I just wanted us to be able to say goodbye the way we wanted to.
I get that.
Can I show you something that might cheer you up just a little?
-[overlapping dialogue] -Woah. Is that everyone?
They all came back.
Babies of Baby Corp, you may have noticed I haven't been at my best.
Heck, I've been a mess!
But this experience has made me realize something.
I'm no longer the right leader for this company.
I'm retiring from Baby Corp.
-Retiring? -Aah! Do not say those words!
Not right now!
What am I going to keep you all in my parents' basement gathering dust? No!
When I say goodbye, I'm going to say goodbye the way I want to.
We're going to take back Baby Corp.
And we're going to hit that beautiful Yellow 100.
Are you with me, babies?
-[all cheer] -Shh! My parents are upstairs!
[all cheering weakly]
[closing theme music]
♪ Boss Baby ♪