[water sloshing]
[seagulls squawking]
[jaunty music plays]
Oh, Captain Tom.
Hi, Phil.
Today, I'm going to answer a question many of you have had,
where do lobsters come from?
Welcome to the Lucky Catch.
It's a messy job, so you're gonna need these to keep your clothes clean.
I wear these when I make soup.
You look great, Phil. Last thing you're gonna need…
-Yes? -…is the sou'wester hat.
Serious?
Short side goes in front.
[man laughing]
Stupid Richard.
-I'm already nauseous. -[Tom chuckles]
[opening theme music plays]
♪ A happy, hungry man's ♪
♪ Traveling all across the sea And the land ♪
♪ He's trying to understand ♪
♪ The art of pasta, pork Chicken and lamb ♪
♪ He will drive to you ♪
♪ He will fly to you ♪
♪ He will sing for you and dance for you ♪
♪ He will laugh with you ♪
♪ And he'll cry for you ♪
♪ There's just one thing He asks in return ♪
♪ Somebody feed, somebody feed ♪
♪ Can somebody ♪
♪ Somebody feed Phil ♪
♪ Somebody feed him now ♪
[dramatic music plays]
[Phil] Portland, Maine, was America's first Portland.
Portland, Oregon, was named after Portland, Maine.
That's right.
It's the biggest city in this beautiful state,
right here in the upper-right corner of the US.
Rugged coast, rugged country, rugged people.
I'm actually related to some of these rugged people,
-and we'll meet 'em a little later. -[sheep bleating]
But family's not all that's bringing me here,
because, get this, Bon Appétit magazine rated Portland, Maine,
the number one food city in America.
Which reminds me, lobster.
[music fades]
Captain Tom is taking me out on his boat, the Lucky Catch,
to pull some up from the briny deep.
[Tom] Uh, what we're gonna do is we're gonna go out
and pick up some traps sitting on the bottom.
-Yes. -They've been on the bottom
for three days, since we last checked them.
-Okay. -But we still don't know
what's gonna be in the traps until we get 'em to the boat.
Sometimes they're empty, sometimes full of lobsters,
so we're gonna need a bit of luck.
[adventurous music plays]
[Phil] How far out are we going?
[Tom] We're gonna go maybe another mile and a half out towards the open sea.
Any sharks?
Never seen a shark in 37 years out here, but there are sharks.
-[chuckling] This could be Jaws 5. -[laughs]
[Phil] It's chasing the boat!
[music continues]
All right, time to go to work, Phil.
-I'm with you, Tom. -[laughs]
See that buoy over there that's white with a red top and a green stripe?
-Yes. -Uh, that's one of ours.
These first two traps we're gonna haul, they're down about 50 feet deep.
-Yeah. -We got two traps on the line,
and we don't know what's gonna be in there till we get them to the boat.
-It's a treasure hunt! -It's a treasure hunt.
All right.
[music fades]
-[Phil] Hey! Mazel tov! -Hey! Lobsters.
[both laugh]
Oh, there we go, Phil.
-Another one! -See what's in our second trap.
Oh! Just a couple.
[Tom] Ooh, a female with eggs.
The eggs will start off on the inside of the tail.
-[Phil] Yeah. -And they come out,
there are two round holes under the third leg,
and they pass over a gland that makes them really sticky,
and that's when they stick to the outside of the tail.
We'll set her free, but before we do, we're gonna mark her as a breeding female.
-[Phil] Yes. -The second tail flipper from the right,
we're gonna leave a scar, and that scar marks her as a breeder.
So even after she releases these eggs, she has a mark.
She gets thrown back for the rest of her life.
-Automatically. All right. Goodbye, honey. -All right.
Bye-bye.
[gentle banjo music playing]
Live long and prosper.
[Tom chuckles]
-So, from the lobster's eye socket… -Yes.
…down to the edge of the back has to be at least three and a quarter inches.
-Okay. Keeper. -It's a keeper.
-[Phil] All right, goes in the pot. -There we go.
-Sorry, mister. -Oh, it's just too short.
Just too short.
♪ Born free ♪
Go make more lobsters.
-Have you been, uh, bitten? -Oh yeah. It hurts every time.
[Phil] It hurts every time?
He makes it. I mean, into the pot.
-[Tom] Into the pot. -Yes. He's a big one.
I might see you tonight.
[laughing]
We gotta do the bait.
Let's get a shot of me slapping Richard in the face with this.
[Tom laughs]
[music intensifies]
All right, Phil. Yup. Do not go down with the trap, okay?
"Don't go down with the trap."
-That's the lobsterman's credo. -[chuckling] I'll tell you when.
One, two, three, push.
Well done.
Cool!
Here's a skill that I thought I wouldn't need in my life,
but it turns out it may become useful.
Who knows?
This could be the episode where Netflix says,
"Enough with him already."
It could happen, and then I'm gonna need something to fall back on.
Lobsterman could be the job for me.
You know what I'm thinking about?
-[Tom] What? -Lobster roll.
[music fades]
[pleasant music plays]
Okay, if you come to Portland, Maine, I want you to drive about 20 minutes
to Fort Williams Park, Cape Elizabeth.
Look at one of the world's greatest lighthouses,
the most famous one, maybe, in America.
And the park around it is so gorgeous.
To see the Maine coastline…
I mean, the coast of Maine is not just a saying.
It's a gorgeous, beautiful thing.
And in the parking lot is a food truck called Bite Into Maine.
-[intriguing jazz music plays] -Oh yes.
I've read about this place. Hi.
-[Sarah] Hi! -Are you Sarah?
-I am. Are you Phil? -I am.
Hi, Phil.
Wow, a lot of choices.
Know what? I can take care of it. We'll get you set up.
-That's what I like. -All right.
I'll be, uh, at, uh, table two.
All right, sounds good. I'll bring it over.
[Phil] Oh!
[Sarah] Here we go.
This is why you come to Maine,
lobster rolls.
So we have curry. That's a wasabi.
-[Phil] Yes. -That one is a chipotle.
-And then the picnic… -Yes?
…is gonna get some butter on it.
-And you have to try our blueberry soda. -Thank you.
This is the best part, I'm gonna pour butter onto your picnic sides.
-Are you my butter valet? -I am!
Are you ready? You don't want to miss this.
-[Sarah] Excellent. All right. -[grunts happily]
-[Sarah laughs] -Wait, we n-- we need help. Natalie.
-Natalie's our production manager. -Hi, Natalie.
-And, uh, she's gonna help us today. -Hi. And I eat almost everything.
[Phil] That's what I like about Natalie. She's game.
-I'm the scavenger. -[Sarah] Which do you want to try first?
Uh, I think I've-- the-- the butter is freshly, uh, buttered.
-[Sarah] Yeah. -[Phil] Right?
Let's see what Natalie thinks before I eat it.
[upbeat jazz playing]
-Oh, you're waiting for my reaction? -Yeah, what if, uh, you die?
-[Natalie] Mm! -[both laughing]
-Oh my… [giggles] -[Sarah laughs]
-[Sarah] Good? -[laughing] That's what I like.
-This is a cold roll with butter, yes? -[Sarah] Yes.
-That's why you call it "picnic style"? -[Sarah] It is.
-Got coleslaw and the-- Ha-ha! -[Natalie] So good.
Oh my God.
[both laughing]
-[Natalie] Cue the seagulls. -[Sarah laughs]
-[Natalie] They're gonna attack you. -[both laughing]
-Does anyone have a hose? -[both laugh]
There's the ocean.
-[Phil] Let's do that. -[Natalie] Ooh.
[Sarah] This one, again, is the wasabi.
-Are you afraid? -Always.
[chuckles] How "wasabi" is the wasabi one?
It's not too overpowering.
-It's got a bit of a zing. -[shrieks]
-[laughs] -I let you go first that time.
I think that the mayo mellows it out a little bit.
You know what you're doing.
-How long you been doing this? -This is our eleventh season.
[Natalie] This is a great spot to have a lobster roll.
And it's gorgeous! Come on.
-Maine! -[chuckles]
-Not terrible. -[Sarah laughs]
-That's your new slogan. -[both laugh]
[Sarah] Let's try chipotle next.
[Phil] Now, just so people know, you do not get these at Chipotle.
[Natalie chuckles]
Delicious.
I say "delicious" a lot.
[music stops]
Let me think of another word for "delicious."
Nope! Can't do it.
[Phil laughing off-screen]
Some things are just delicious. I'm sorry. That's the word.
You want me to say…
transform… ative?
[men laughing]
Because I obviously have trouble saying that word.
So, how about just delicious?
Why, if you're in the food world, do you need all these words?
Why don't I just say, "Mm!"
or "Ooh!"
or "Ha-ha!"
or "Hee-hee!"
These are my words for you.
-[Sarah] The last is curry. -[Phil] Curry!
[Sarah chuckles]
Wow. That's really good.
-[Sarah] Do you like that? -I love it,
'cause you usually don't get lobster in the Indian restaurants.
[both chuckle]
-[Natalie] What was your favorite, Phil? -I-- I love them all.
But that was the-- the one I'm most delighted with.
♪ I'm a mess, I'm a mess ♪
-Look at my pants! -[Sarah laughs]
[Phil] It's like a crime scene.
[jaunty jazz music plays]
Very good!
[pleasant music plays]
I have a friend from L.A., a young man named Alex Edelman, a great comedian.
Really, really funny young man. Love him to death.
I wanted to take him to the Duckfat Frites Shack.
You're not gonna believe this, but look at the end of my nose.
-That's nothing. -There's a zit on the end of my nose.
[Phil] You can barely see it.
They're concealing it for me.
[woman] Don't squint.
Am I all right?
-[woman] You're good. -[chuckles softly]
You know, I wanted a nose job.
I told you this?
Well, in high school, I went in and I asked…
I said, "I--" I said, "I think I want a nose job."
"I want work done."
You-- You told your parents?
I went to a doctor, but they said they couldn't make it any bigger.
They said this is the biggest…
[laughing]
He's here all week.
-What do you think of Maine so far? -Meh.
[laughs]
It's gorgeous.
Portland is a city, technically, but it's a small town.
It feels like some Victorian dream, you know?
And that dream continues here, unless you're a duck
where the Belgian-style fries are cooked in duck fat,
and a duck egg sits on top of the poutine.
[Alex gasps]
Oh my God.
[Phil] I think we gotta try the fries plain first.
[gasps] They're hot.
-[Alex] It's really good. -[Phil] Shall I do the honors?
[Alex] Yeah, please. Oh, my God. Oh, I don't…
But this is gravy and cheese curds and duck confit!
Duck confit is the best thing you can do to a duck, is confit it.
Should everything be fried in duck fat?
Yeah, maybe.
Ask me what I did today, before you got here.
-What'd you do today, Phil? -I went lobstering on a boat,
like a Gentile.
-Did you catch any of them? -Yes.
You know, I've never had a lobster. Never. I've never had a crab.
-Right. You have diet-- -I've never had shellfish.
There are special dietary laws.
But no one can tell me what they taste like, though.
Imagine a very firm fish.
You ever have monkfish?
-In a restaurant? -I've never had it,
'cause I-- I don't think monkfish is kosher.
-I can't keep up with you and your rules. -Live within the electric fence
-of my lapsing piety, okay? -[laughs]
I shouldn't even be eating this.
This is-- This is an affront to my yeshiva.
-But I… -[laughs]
-So am I. -Yeah!
-Family. -You know how many dead ancestors
I have going… right now?
-Me too! -Yeah.
But they were doing that in front of me.
I think french fries might be the food that I can't live without.
Sometimes I watch the show, though,
and, uh, I'm just like, "It can't be that good."
If you're me watching this and you're like,
-"Is it that--" It's that good. -Yes. Tell the people.
-It's that good. -Yes!
[chuckles softly]
I-- I love Alex. He's a great comedian. Except when he imitates me.
-[imitating Phil] He comes to my house. -[laughs]
It's a movie night. And we have bottles of wine to spare.
[chuckles]
-This is a good show. -My girlfriend says,
"Your impression of Phil is both anti-Semitic and accurate."
[both laughing]
Except when he likes something. Then he's, "Ooh, I like that."
[both laughing]
"Ooh, I like that."
It's pure joy filtered through Judaism.
-[laughs] -It's so wonderful.
-Oh! Oh! -It's time for dessert. We got chocolate.
Oh my God.
Caramel, with a duck fat caramel, of course.
-Wow! -And Maine blueberry milkshake.
Look how they did with two straws. You know what we have to do.
This may not work, because it could be a nose-pocalypse.
[man laughing]
Oh, that's an old-school move!
-Yeah. -That's a diner move.
-It's good. -You like it?
-[imitates Phil] Ooh, I like that! -[both laughing]
[enchanting music plays]
[Phil] A short drive north is the town of Brunswick,
where down a little side street is a house.
And in this house is a magical place called Spindleworks.
Where's my favorite cousin?
-[Anna] Where's my favorite cousin? -[laughs]
Phil!
-Nice. -Nice!
[Phil] I'm lucky enough to have some really wonderful people in my family,
but here's one of my favorites.
This is Anna.
She's been coming to Spindleworks for 30 years,
and it's a great part of her life.
I wanted people to see what Spindleworks is all about,
'cause I love it, and I know you love it, so I wanted you to give me the tour.
You got it, buddy.
[Phil laughs]
So, this tour is all about art, love, and food.
All-- That's three things I love, plus one more.
What? Drinks?
-You. -Me!
Yes. "Drinks." [laughs]
-I do. All right. -My favorite cousin.
-Here we go. -Don't tell Richard!
Hi, Phil.
-It's very nice to meet you. -[Brian] Nancy's our official greeter.
She likes hanging out here, and anybody who's coming in,
even on the street, she'll invite customers in.
[Phil's voice] Brian Braley is the program manager for Spindleworks.
This house is a little over 3,000 square feet.
Um, there's up to 40 artists here a day, um, making art,
and our goal is really just to, you know, for the artist to be independent,
to be able to make careers as artists, just like any other artists,
and we're just here to support them to live
full and inclusive lives in their community.
[Phil] I see beautiful art on the wall. Tell us about Spindleworks.
Yeah. Paintings. This is our painting studio…
-Where all the magic happens! -Yes.
It's kind of like a Magical Mystery Tour of art.
-[man chuckles] -Right.
All the painting is from all of us.
We do everything.
We do photography.
We do tons of media.
Textile. You name it, we have it.
[giggles] One-stop shopping.
-There's a loom there, right? -Yes.
-I'll show you what I'll make. -Do it.
And this is gonna be a scarf?
Yes.
It's very nice on everybody. On the loom.
I got this new quote: "No big whoop."
Yes.
-[man laughs] -It's a good quote.
-Into the shop. -[Anna] Into the shop.
[Phil] Yeah, so people could come and shop here for great stuff.
-Like, we make chairs. -Yeah.
-Woodworking. -Yeah.
Pillows. I just made this. I never made a pillow.
-Let's see it. Let's see it. -And it's up for sale.
-So I just made this. -Fantastic.
-Can I buy that? -If you want to, you can.
All right. How much is it?
$25.
-I'm giving you $40. -Forty?
Yeah, 'cause I think it's worth 40.
Lordy, Lordy, who's 40?
[giggles]
[gasps] Wow! Come on.
-How long did it take you to-- Wow! -A year and a half.
That's gorgeous.
All by hand, by myself.
[Phil] Super impressed.
And look, everybody.
-This is Anna McDougal's published book. -Uh…
-Yes! -A Look Back.
-Yup. -And what are we looking back at?
The history of how my new life started here
in Spindleworks, how that's shaping my life.
Yup.
And also I have Down syndrome, but I've got "Up syndrome."
I have really great family like Philip,
who is my favorite.
-Help me out. -Yes, yes, not-- not Richard, right?
Not-- I love Richard!
No! I'm the favorite.
Don't pick on your brother.
"Don't pick on your brother," she said. Very wise advice.
"What was the other advice you wanted to give Philip, Anna?"
No wife jokes, because I love Monica.
That's all I got.
Okay, you can still do it. But don't tell her.
[laughs]
Do I have to tell you the value of the arts anymore?
I've said it before, the arts are not disposable.
In fact, they are the answer.
They were so nice to me and so welcoming and so generous, I had to do something.
I thought at least ice cream.
Here we go, people.
Everybody, we're gonna cross the street this way.
[man] All right.
[Phil] We are here.
Who got a small coffee ice cream?
Barry and Larry! Who likes Barry and Larry? Look at that.
Very special. It's got a cone on the top, like a hat.
[artists laughing]
-[Phil] Another vanilla cone. -I think that would be me.
There you go, buddy. One more Barry and Larry.
Everybody happy? That's what I like.
-Nancy, how is it? -[Nancy] Good.
What did you get, Phil?
I got chocolate with chocolate chips.
-[man] Nice. -[Anna] Ooh!
Because I like chocolate.
I'm so happy to have spent some time with you and to see what you do.
I had so much fun, and every day should have a little ice cream in it.
Everybody wave goodbye over there to the crew.
-[Anna] Thank you, crew! -[Phil] Bye!
[Anna] Thank you!
And my other cousin Richard!
[jaunty jazz music plays]
[Phil's voice] It's great places like these,
incredible artisanal hot dogs and beer at the Thirsty Pig,
farm-to-table Italian food from Chef Jake Stevens at Leeward,
and masterful Mexican barbecue at Terra Lingua,
that have helped give Portland its reputation
as a top-tier food destination.
[mellow rock music plays]
Today I'm in Biddeford, an old mill town 20 minutes from Portland,
meeting Don Lindgren.
Don's an expert in the town, in how the town was built.
How many years ago when they first opened the mills here?
[Don] 1830s and '40s is when they started developing.
[Phil] Yeah.
They were all built on a certain power source, which is water.
You think of, like, millions of square feet of industrial production
being powered entirely by this river.
This whole mill came to life just because there was a waterfall there.
Geniuses figured out how to harness the power of water, clean power,
and the whole civilization on this part of the river sprang to life.
It just shows you, we-- we're nothing without nature.
These old mill buildings now house new businesses,
startups, breweries, that kind of thing.
And Don has his very special shop here.
Don owns this bookstore, called Rabelais.
It's like an incredible museum.
Ancient recipes, ancient cookbooks.
Absolutely fascinating.
I-- I want to ask you about one main Maine ingredient.
Yes. Yeah.
-We're gonna see a lot of it. -Yup.
Tell me if the-- what-- if this legend is true.
It was fed to prisoners, and prisoners complained,
"Stop with the lobster every day."
And then Teddy Roosevelt said he liked it,
and it went from the bottom of the menu to the top of the menu.
Unfortunately, it's not true.
-[laughing] -[man laughs]
[Don] Maine kept really good prison records.
There is no revolt of the prisoners saying,
"That's enough of this. We can't do it anymore."
Teddy Roosevelt did like them, and it probably broadened their appeal,
but lobster was always considered
a-- a-- a luxury food that was sought-after.
'Cause it was… crazy delicious.
Delicious. It's the best.
The Palace Diner. Ladies invited. Ooh!
[upbeat jazz music plays]
Don and I meet up later for lunch inside this adorable thing.
Oh, this is my kind of place.
This is one of Don's favorites,
a local institution called the Palace Diner,
and it may be the best diner in the world.
One of the chef owners is here today. His name is Greg Mitchell.
I noticed it said "ladies invited" on the car.
The diner's been around since 1927, back when the mills were all operational.
It was kind of a "everyone's welcome" gesture.
-Even the ladies are allowed. -I wouldn't do it,
but I-- it's-- it's your place.
-Yeah. -[laughs]
-[Greg] You want some coffee? -[Phil] Please!
-You've been coming here a lot, I'll bet. -Yeah, since the beginning.
They've got a really small menu.
A half a dozen things for breakfast, a half a dozen things for lunch,
but everything they do is cranked up to perfect.
-Double French toast. -[woman] Oh, that's me.
-That's for you. -[man laughs]
-[Phil] I almost grabbed it, you know. -[all laugh]
I almost grabbed it.
[Don] These were the-- these guys were really the first ones in,
in terms of their food expansion of-- of this town,
and it's been exciting to watch.
[Greg] We got some stuff coming up right now.
-This is our corn beef hash. -[Phil] Come on!
Made in-house. Brined for a week. Seared on the flattop.
-There we go. -[Greg] Here we go.
-[Phil] Oh ho ho ho ho ho! -[Greg] We've got the tuna melt
and the, uh, buttermilk flapjacks.
[Phil] I'm betting that's real maple syrup.
[Don] We're in Maine. There's nothing else.
[Greg] And we've got… sorry, cheeseburger.
-[Phil] Cheeseburger. -[Greg] Fried chicken sandwich.
-[Phil] What? Look at this! -[Don] There we go.
[Phil laughs]
Goodbye, everybody!
Bacon, egg and cheese deluxe breakfast sandwich.
-Oh! I love deluxe. -[men laugh]
And, uh, today's omelet. Caramelized onion and cheddar.
[Phil] Hope they have enough plates to serve other people.
Wow! Look at that.
Oh my God, it's almost like a Japanese egg in there, right?
We hide some technique.
[Phil] Where did you study?
Uh, mostly self-taught.
I did work in New York City for a bit, worked at Gramercy Tavern.
-Uh… -[man] Ah!
Worked at a restaurant--
Hold on. Let me do this.
[all laugh]
I love when geniuses focus on the important things.
Yeah, we like to set the bar low and then over-excel.
No, it's actually the highest bar, because everyone knows this food.
And there's nothing to hide behind.
It's simple. Everyone has a reference point.
-That's right. And everyone's an expert. -[Greg] Yeah.
-Richard, don't be stupid. -No, I won't.
[Phil laughs] Hee-hee!
And what I start to notice is,
each of these things are maybe the best of that thing
I've ever had in my stupid life.
What is going on?
It's just the grandest…
expression of a tuna sandwich in the world.
-Ultimate comfort food. -[Greg] Yeah.
Mm! The omelet!
You ever see Defending Your Life?
Albert Brooks gets to heaven, and they walk to the… the coffee shop.
He orders an omelet, and it comes,
and it's the most beautiful, perfect thing.
He goes, "This is the best omelet I ever had in my life."
"This is so fantastic! Oh!"
"Yep, pretty great. And you can have as much as you want."
That's heaven. Right?
-[man] Ha! -Here we are.
Cheeseburger deluxe. This is what I lived on in college.
Now, I hear these potatoes are the bomb.
They're boiled, and then they're smashed and fried.
You smash them, that way, you get more fry areas.
-Feelin' it? -[Phil] I'm lovin' it.
How's the French toast?
It's amazing, it's very dense and heavy, but it's so good.
I found it to be light and fluffy.
-Really? -I did.
-Ooh. Okay. -Yes.
But that's just me.
See what happens when you invite ladies in?
[indistinct chatter]
[whimsical instrumental music plays]
[bell dings]
[Charlie] Pardon me.
[Phil] Brûlée Bike? What's a Brûlée Bike?
[music continues]
If that's what I think it is, I might be a very good customer.
Hey, excuse me, are you going to be pulling over soon?
-You're stopping? -Yes, I am.
-You're settin' up? -Ready to be served?
When he stops, I find out he's a young man named Charlie Compton.
He started doing this when he was 15.
He's now very old, 21.
When did you have this idea?
So I spent my freshman year of high school traveling around Europe with my family,
and we all chose different places, uh, based off of things we wanted to do.
And so my brother went to, like, Holland and England for soccer.
And I chose France and Italy to learn how to cook.
I learned how to cook crème brûlée in Paris, France.
Oh, come on. But, of course, you make the crème.
-Yes. -You sprinkle sugar on top.
A can of propane with a flamethrower.
-Pretty much. -And you're done.
-Yeah. -This is awesome.
[Charlie] All right, go ahead.
I have to tap. Listen, listen.
[clacking softly]
That's perfect.
-That's what you want in a brûlée. -[chuckles]
[mellow instrumental music playing]
Mm!
[chuckles]
What you've done is you've made a chocolate pudding,
and put a beautiful, crispy crust on the top.
The French would be insulted if you call it pudding.
-[in high voice] I know. -[chuckles]
My friends,
have you ever had crème brûlée?
I don't think so.
Would you like to try it?
Uh, Mama, would you like to try something like that?
-Yes. -[Charlie] Yeah?
-[both laughing] -That's the…
-That was a-- a fantastic answer. -[man] Yeah.
-We-- We-- We are from Zambia. -[Phil] Yes?
And I don't think in Zambia we actually make that.
-It's coming right up. -[man] Thank you.
[giggles] Hee!
[whooshing]
-Thank you. -You're very welcome. What's your name?
-Marian. -Hi, Marian. I'm Phil.
-Phil. Oh my gosh. -You? What's your name?
-Chumba. -Chumba.
-Nice meeting you. -Nice to meet you. Enjoy.
Aw. Sweet. How do you say in your country "cheers"?
Uh, "cheers."
[both laughing]
I see bright things in this young man's future.
Who likes honey and lavender?
[chuckles] Who likes, uh, classic crème brûlée?
-And who likes chocolate? Yes. -I'd like to try one of these things too.
[man] Oh, I hate you.
-What-- What flavor do you want? -Any one.
What is it you got coming? Chocolate? Yeah.
[Phil] Richard should have chocolate. For Dad.
Nice.
-He would have had chocolate. -[man] Chocolate?
He would have said, "Do you have chocolate? Wait."
"Don't put the thing on the top."
[man laughing]
[chuckles] "Wait, what are you doing? You mean, the brûlée part?"
-"Yeah, I don't need that." -[man laughs]
-[Charlie] How's your day been? -[Phil] This is the best part.
-[Charlie] Yeah? That's great. -[chuckles] Yeah. Uh-huh.
[bell dinging]
[Phil] Yes, it's time for another lobster roll, people.
[woman on PA] Welcome to Red's!
We are so happy to have you all here with us today.
[Phil] Every time I come to Maine to visit the family,
my family stops at Red's Eats.
It's an institution, been in business since 1938.
Look at this lobster.
This makes this worth waiting,
and I've done this, an hour and a half.
This is why I do the show, so I can butt the line.
Enjoy, Phil. Thank you!
I don't know what everyone else is gonna be eating.
[woman laughs]
-[Richard chanting] Philip! Philip! -[woman] Oh…
[Richard] Philip! Philip!
Uh, I'm looking for the Rosenthal party.
-Rosenthal? -That's us.
-Anybody here with that name? -Yay!
[Phil] A lot of people here with that name.
There's Monica, Lily, and Ben,
plus Richard's wife, Karen, and their kids, Jack and Tess.
And lots of lobster.
-[Karen] That is gorgeous. -[Monica] Thank you, Philip.
This is a good breakfast.
[all laughing]
-[Phil] Now wait, before you eat it… -[Monica] What…
We've gotta get you some butter.
[Phil] Here we go. Look, with the teakettle.
This is like the equivalent of the plate going down in Peter Luger's.
-I know. -One of the great moments in sports.
[Karen] Beautiful.
-[Monica laughs] -[Phil] How much lobster meat is in this?
It's like a lobster roll with the meat of another lobster roll in it.
[laughs] Right.
And I'm not kidding when I say I do not measure, we just pile it high.
[Monica] Wow.
-[Karen] Fantastic. -So enjoy, guys.
-[Richard] Thank you. -[Phil] Thank you, Debbie. We love Debbie.
[Lily] Yay, Debbie.
[gentle music plays]
When Richard and I were growing up,
can I tell you how many of these we had?
Not one.
-You were very deprived. -[Phil] Very deprived, as Mom would say.
"Oh, you poor, deprived child," she would say.
How much do we love Maine?
-We love Maine! -[Monica] We love it.
-[howls] -[all cheering]
[Richard] I'll drink the butter
-right out of the thing. -[Lily] That's good.
Everybody, this is Betty.
-[Karen] Hi, Betty! -It's her birthday today!
[all] Happy birthday!
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday, dear Betty ♪
[Phil] Betty, everybody!
[all] ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
-[Phil] Whoo! -[all cheering]
[laughing]
[music continues]
[Phil's voice] Portland holds the distinction of having
the closest transatlantic port to Europe,
so it was a key player back in US colonial days.
The city's burned down and been rebuilt several times,
which may explain all the beautiful brick and stone buildings.
[Phil] Hey, Google, video call Judy Gold.
[video call rings, chimes]
-Philip! Where are you? -Hello, darling.
I'm in Portland, Maine. Where are you?
Are you eating a tart?
"Tarts."
-[sighs happily] -Have you ever heard of Tandem Bakery?
-Oh my God. -Now I have.
You've got to come here, just for this.
-Yes. -Here's the deal.
I've been a stand-up comedian, next year it'll be 40 years.
I started when I was 19. You know, I've done a lot of theater…
Yes.
-Um, it-- Written a book. -Yes.
I cannot tell you how many times people--
It-- It's-- It's not even just in New York.
It's everywhere I go.
"Oh my God, Judy?"
And I'm like, "Yeah. My comedy special?"
"No. From Somebody Feed Phil."
"Oh, I-- it made me so hungry."
"Oh--" You know-- Oh, the other thing they do say, Philip, is,
"You should be on every episode."
They say that?
-Yes! -Who are the--
They said it's much better when I'm there. [laughs]
Who-- That's so funny. That's what my daughter says.
-[chuckles] -Yes!
Judy, do you like-- do you like scones?
-[giggles] -Oh my-- What? Is this just to torture me?
Yes. This is what I do.
-I used to do it to my parents. -I know.
I would say to my folks, "You wanna see…" [swallows]
"You wanna hear about what I ate today?"
And my mother would say, "Not particularly."
[both laughing]
I'm gonna now show you what Tandem Bakery is world-famous for.
-They make a biscuit with just… -Preserves.
…butter and jam.
This is their biscuit.
Oh!
-[groans enviously] -[chuckles]
I can't do this. I can't do-- Like, are you going to--
[whimpers]
That truly is one of the best bites in the world.
That's great for you, Philip.
I just want you to be happy, Philip. That's all I want.
That is my goal in life, is your happiness.
That's why I love you.
That's it. I know.
-[growling]. -I know. [chuckles]
You know what we've been doing, right?
We do-- Uh, I asked my-- my favorite people,
my favorite funny people,
uh, a joke for Max.
-Right. -Because this was his spot, right?
-So you got it. You got it. -Right.
I have the-- a perfect joke for Max.
Here we go.
A German guy, a Frenchman, and a Jew
get lost in the desert.
They're stuck in the desert for days.
Nothing.
Finally, the Red Cross finds them and-- and picks them up.
And the German guy says, "Ugh."
"Oh, I am so tired and I'm so thirsty. I need a beer."
And the Frenchman says, "Ugh, I am so tired and I am so thirsty."
"I need some wine."
And the Jew says, "Ugh! I'm so tired and I'm so thirsty."
"I have diabetes!"
[laughing]
[man laughing]
-That's fantastic! I can't believe-- -Don't you like it?
I've never heard that joke.
-That's right. -That's fantastic.
It goes to our people's complaints, doesn't it?
-Yes! The complaining-- -Yes. We like it. It's perfect.
My mother, God rest her soul, she was never thirsty.
She was "dehydrated."
-[laughs] -You know what I mean?
"You may be thirsty, but I--"
"No, no, I'm dehydrated."
Yes. All right, Judy. We love you.
-We'll see you later. -I love you!
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah! I'll see you soon.
[gentle folk music plays]
[Phil's voice] One last place to go.
Up the coast in Wiscasset, Maine,
is the totally organic and horse-powered Buckwheat Blossom Farm.
It's paradise, and I'm lucky enough to be related to this beautiful place,
because my cousin and his sister Amy, and her husband, Jeff,
own it and run it with their kids, Asa, Ruth, and Leah.
They've invited all the families here for a picnic dinner.
But first, how about another installment
of "Something Phil Is Bound to Be Terrible At."
Sheep. Hello.
I'm Phil. I'll be your shepherd today.
-Uh… -[sheep bleats]
[laughing]
That's what most people say when I say I'm going to join them.
[Jeff] Kit!
Here.
Walk up. Lie down. Lie down. Come by.
Hi. How are ya?
-[Jeff] Come by. Good. -We're going this way.
-[Phil] Come on, sheep! -[Jeff] Whoa!
[Phil] No, no, no, no, this way, this way, this way.
Calm down… class.
[chuckling] This is no way to behave.
That's the troublemaker. I guess you found it.
[Phil] Yeah. Hey, hey, hey! Where you going? No, no, no.
-[Ruth] Lie down! -[Phil] It's a disaster.
-[Phil] No. Hey. -[Jeff] Come by. Come by. Come by.
Good, in here. Okay.
[Phil] And right when I'm about to get a "That'll do, pig,"
one of them gets away.
[Phil] We got one more.
[Jeff] Oh, yeah. Here's your chance, Phil.
-There you go. Hook a leg. -Hook a leg? Really?
[Jeff] Any leg'll do. Just grab…
-[chuckles] -Hee-hee hee!
[Jeff] There you go. Hold on tight. Ruth, grab her. Grab her.
[Ruth] Come on!
[Phil] Hey, hey!
[chuckles]
There you go.
[Phil] Nice.
Did it.
-That's great. -Just like that.
Goodbye, Jeff!
[laughs]
I could be in a rodeo now.
The world's worst rodeo.
Amy, I understand you decide who gets a haircut.
-[Amy] Yes. -Does Jeff need one while we're at it?
[Amy] Yes, actually, the whole family needs one.
[Phil] Yes.
Should we pick the biggest one for Phil?
-[Phil] What? -[all laughing]
I should have the smallest, gentlest.
[Amy] Yeah, which one was the real kicker, Jeff?
-That one that got you in the chin? -Oh God.
-[Jeff] Oh. -[Jeff and Amy laugh]
-[Jeff] That's a nice fleece. -[Amy] Let's do her.
-[Jeff] That can be yours, Phil. -[Phil] Okay. She looks sweet. [chuckles]
[Amy] Does Phil need a shearing outfit, though?
-Oh, yeah. -There's an outfit?
-[Jeff] There's an outfit, yeah. -[softly] Oh, God.
Wouldn't you know that sheep-shearing has its own embarrassing attire for me.
[birds chirping]
Now that's more like it.
Sun's out, guns out.
[laughs]
Some of you might be thinking,
"Does Phil just like putting on goofy costumes?"
No, these are the real things that the real people wear.
They just look goofy on this.
So you wear this to feel the-- the sheep more?
No, you wear this to impress the ladies who are gathering the wool.
Oh. Sorry, ladies.
[laughs]
He's going backwards.
[Phil] Now that I'm half naked,
Jeff shows me how to do the same to the sheep.
-See my left leg over here in his hip? -Yeah.
As soon as I turn him there, I take that out.
-A wrestling move. -[Jeff] And down he goes.
Yeah. All right. This is how to shear sheep.
[buzzing]
-[Jeff] Look at that wool. -Beautiful.
-Isn't it? -Yes.
[Phil] You got to get as close to the skin as possible,
because you want it all nice-- a nice piece,
so you can make, uh, I don't know, a sweater.
[buzzing]
I'm ready.
[chuckles]
-Look at that. -Out pops a goat.
[Phil] Wow.
-[Jeff] There's nothin' to it. -[softly] "Nothin' to it."
I'm sure you're gonna make easy work of it, Phil.
Hi, sheepy.
[Jeff] She looks pretty relaxed. I think you've got a way with sheep.
-[rock music plays] -[clipper buzzing]
But keep her between your knees.
Okay. It's all gotta be on this side.
Out there and up the leg. Keep stepping her back.
Foot back, you gotta get this foot back behind all of her legs.
Keep her between your knees.
[Phil] Here's the only thing I was thinking,
is, um, I don't want to hurt this poor animal.
It's already being humiliated on television.
-[clipper buzzing] -[Jeff] Good one. There you go.
All right.
-[Jeff] Should we call that good? -[Phil] Yeah.
-What do you think? -I think it's great for a first time.
[Phil] This wool that I produce today
is good for, uh, maybe, little-- little earmuffs at the--
I mean, tiny, for baby earmuffs. That's what you got out of me today.
I have one question.
-What's that? -How did you get in this family?
-This is not what we do. -[laughing]
We are not sheep people.
-I go on Amazon, sweater. -[laughs]
[chuckles] That's as close as I've gotten to this.
Well, you know, it's never too late to start.
Let me also say… Oy!
-[all laughing] -[Jeff] I heard that.
-[Phil] Thank you for being nice. -[gentle folk music plays]
What a sweetie pie.
Am I good at this? No.
Uh, should I do this again? Probably not,
uh, if you value your, uh, wool or your sheep.
However…
[chuckles] …I'm happy I did it.
You know, that goes for a lot of things.
We-- We hate the idea of things, and then we do them,
and more times than not, they're not so bad. They're not so bad.
And I learned another skill that I can put to use.
I'll be a lobsterman if I need to be. I'll be a sheep shearer if I need to be.
I can do it.
-[Jeff] Oh! -[all laughing]
-It was going so well. -[all laughing]
[music continues]
[Phil's voice] I scraped the wool and lanolin off me,
so I can clean up for something I'm actually good at, eating.
Jeff and Amy and their family really rolled out the green carpet for all of us,
showing off the farm and all the amazing things
they produce here in this idyllic place.
Do you want to say hi to me?
-Hi, Phil. -Hi.
I'm so glad that you guys came here, and all the food…
-Yes. -…is from our farm,
Buckwheat Blossom Farm.
Buckwheat Blossom Farm, everybody. Remember the name.
The cheeses, the vegetables is from the farm, and the meat.
This is fresh farm vegetables, and this is the pottery that I made.
-[Phil] Can I do it? -[Anna] Do it.
How do you like it, Phil?
It's phenomenal.
-[sizzling] -Are these your chickens?
-[Jeff] Yep. It's our chickens. -Oh my God. I can't wait to eat them.
[Jeff chuckles] And our lamb as well.
[Phil] Oh my goodness. Not the one I…
Um, no, no. That one's still alive.
-Fairly. -Thank God.
-[chuckling] -My guilt would have been overwhelming.
[upbeat folk music plays]
-Asa, you want to try one first? -[Asa] Sure.
[Phil] I usually use children to test my food.
I don't know if everyone knows, but, you know,
Monica played, uh, Amy on-- on Raymond. She played Amy MacDougall.
But the real Amy MacDougall that we took the name from
-is right there. -[Jeff laughs]
-[Phil] That's the real Amy MacDougall. -The real Amy MacDougall.
[chuckles]
[upbeat music plays]
-Can I help in any way? -Yeah, come talk to this chicken, Phil.
[Phil] Look how gorgeous that is.
Jeff did all the work.
I am taking all the credit.
-Yes! -[man] Wow.
[Phil] Lamb is up!
Come on, everybody.
[indistinct chatter]
[Phil] Everything from the farm. Am I wrong?
Monica and Karen picked the tomatoes.
These are potatoes from the ground as well.
[gentle music playing]
The thing about beets is, you gotta remember that you ate them.
[man] Yes.
Maine. I get it. I get why people live here.
I get what's great about this place.
The spirit in the streets, the friendliness of the people.
-[laughing] -Hey, look at that.
The way it's in harmony with nature.
What it teaches me is that we're at our best as a country,
I think, and maybe as a people in general around the world,
when we work and live in harmony with what's around us,
meaning, you know, the gifts that we have from nature.
-You eat like this all the time? -[chuckling] I eat this every day.
I live on a great farm.
-This is a lot like heaven, isn't it? -It is a lot like heaven.
[Phil] I love everything about these people,
this land,
this country, this world.
Let's keep it nice, people.
[gentle folk music continues]
Maine enough for ya?
[music ends]
[playing "Good At Losing Everything"]
♪ Struggling with buttons On a secondhand suit ♪
♪ I saw the casket that they fit for you ♪
♪ Stepped outside Light a smoke in shame ♪
♪ Even after you're gone I didn't learn a thing ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh ♪
[song ends]
Whoo!