Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org
As far back as I can remember, I have been into property.
The lads and I, that was our thing.
Not the buying and selling business, mind you.
More of a breaking and entering kind of thing.
Until one elaborate job sent us all to the bloody clink.
Two and a half years deep and let out on good behavior.
I kept my head down and learned a couple of lessons.
Mainly about how to be a better thief.
Gavin! Make sure the drink is Halal, brother.
Nonetheless, when I got out, I vowed to put it all behind me.
That was until I got reunited with these three.
- That accent. - Yeah.
You guys from the UK?
London, mate. Yeah.
Been there a couple of times. That's from Liverpool, right?
What? No. London, brah.
That's Gavin.
Couldn't organize a two-piece jigsaw, but he's handy behind the wheel.
Nice.
Guys! What do you reckon?
Alright, we do some shots and then we have some cocktails.
- Yeah? - Cocktails?
No-balls Barry. The quickest thief there is.
Yeah, man. I say we pull out the champagne.
- Come, boy. - Money in the bank. Money in the bank.
Know what I'm saying? We got the money in the bank. Where the girls at, man?
- I don't need a toilet bowl no more. - Damn right.
I'm wiping my ass with one-dollar bill.
- Look at me, brah! Oh, look at me. - Wiping my ass. That's the life!
We made at least 50 thousand a piece.
We're living it up now, guys. We're in the big time.
I say we pop a bottle of Dom Perignon tonight to celebrate.
- Am I right or am I right? Come on! - Right, brother!
And Alan. Ain't a safe he can't crack.
Oi and not forgetting the gold coin. We ain't flogged them yet.
Who knows how much money we're gonna get for that?
Listen, guys, listen. We're here to lay low.
She's right.
Okay, let's just chill for the night and tomorrow night, do whatever.
- Alright. Alright. Right. - I'm going to go get my own drink.
Alright, Mads. Okay, Mads.
Hi.
Hey, can I just have an orange juice, please?
Thank you.
But the one lesson we should have all learned whilst inside was:
quit whilst you're ahead.
But we didn't.
Hi.
Got an appointment with Tyrone.
So cold, I think it might snow.
Okay.
- Hi, babes. - You alright, darling?
Yeah.
Sorry I'm late.
Mads, you've been hanging around with us for way too long.
Speak for yourself. I'm never late.
Excuse me.
Do you want me to remind you the time your appointment was
and the time you actually decided to arrive to this salon? Or have you already forgotten?
Your appointment was 11 o'clock.
You decide to arrive 12 o'clock just to make my life more difficult.
Sorry, what were you saying?
Hey, you look like you about to head to Oxford street. What you buy this time?
Oh, hang on, babe. I've got to get this.
Hi, babe.
Listen, I'm just getting my weave done.
Yes, I said weave.
Listen, I've got to go, I've just sat in the chair.
Okay. bye. Bye.
What? White girls wear weaves.
How's it going, man? You alright, bruv? Yeah? Good.
Yes, boys. Hey, Dean, you alright? Sweet.
♪ Praise the Lord
♪ Heaven make the man
Thank you, Jesus. Thank you for love...
♪ Praise the lord
Ah, yes!
Bro, you are late, man.
Bruv, this is God's time and nothing happens before the time.
I'm on God's timing.
God's time? That's it?
- Has service even started? - No, it ain't started.
Bro, you know the church can't start without Kunle, B.
Kunle, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Very, very aware that the devil will come to try to trick us.
All kinds of trickery he have up his sleeve.
Some of them look pleasing and appealing to us
but we must be very careful not to give in to temptation.
Can you imagine the devil is also on social media now?
He's there. He's there.
He wants us to act mean.
They are appeared as queens and princess.
But the reality, when you look at them, they look like dragon, mosquito and lizard.
When you see them, even your face will be injured.
One time, I seen...
Excuse me, why are you coming into this place late?
I've warned you last week and I've warned you the week before.
You are coming here, you are making noise.
If it is the roughhouse, the club house you are going to, you be on time.
We need to be able to learn
and be able to teach the younger generation coming behind us.
They are very, very stubborn.
Look at the way they are dressing for church, for crying out loud.
Look at this!
Is this a pajama party?
You should have just come naked, for crying out.
Because the thing you are covering, I don't know. Everybody look at these.
Your touchable breast. The way you are cover it, you make fool of yourself.
Look at Mommy next to you.
Mommy shall be worried for you because the way you dress,
that is the way God want people to be dressing.
In the eyes of God, you are just misbehaving.
Making me to confuse myself.
I'm losing concentration when I'm talking to you now.
You need to change. If this...
No way.
That's the phone. Look at that. That's exactly what I'm saying.
You can see now. You can see that's that is...
- ...give me give me... - Look at him. Look at him. - I've told you that before, man.
Yeah.
Listen, how's...
Oh, sorry, babe. I've got to get this.
It's cool, babes. Do you.
I'm gonna get my bits.
Hello.
Oh, is that you, Parksey?
Hey what's getting on, man?
Yeah, go on.
Yeah, I'm listening, bro. Come on.
Sounds interesting. What's in it for me?
What? A hundred bags a piece?
Okay.
When?
Well a woman can never have too many shoes, eh?
Okay. Alright, I'm in.
I said I'm in, didn't I?
Yeah, cool. Count me in. I'm down.
Ah, wicked. Wicked.
Nice to hear from you, bro. Speak to you soon. Alright, bye.
What? What did I do?
Hey! Told you I'd solve it.
There's no way I was going that place on my own.
Chicken shit.
What about a driver?
Well, I could drive Mr. Sand.
I mean... I mean, Bob.
Look, I'm well up for it.
- Have you even got a bloody license? - Exactly.
Well not yet, but I'm working on it.
Yo, is he answering you back?
- Are you answering me back? - Nah, no.
I wouldn't do that, Bob, yeah.
But how come he's always getting all the good jobs.?
Listen, I've been tasty with these since I was what, 13, 15?
There he goes again.
Alright, son, that's alright, you carry on.
I'll never forget this one prick.
He was in the projects with my mother.
Now I remember at that age, I stood up and I said, "Oi, monk!"
Now, he's turned around and before he could raise his hand to the height of his head,
I've gone... shhh, shhh, shhh... Knocked him off his feet, mate.
He's come off the ground and floated across the room like a fucking wizard, mate.
Clever all over the gaf.
And I remember thinking, "From this day on, I'll never be..."
Well, the way you are now.
Wanting and wishing to be someone like me.
Don't worry, son, we'll have a job for you.
I know.
I'll get Gavin to sort a motor route.
Gavin?
Gavin, Gavin? He's an idiot.
No, he's alright. He's harmless. Plus, he's a trier.
He just wants to move up a notch.
I mean, how hard can it be, anyway?
- I thought you said we was good? - Be quiet, man.
- I've already been here for ages. - Will you shut up?
- He's on it. - Yeah, but you said...
Oh, for fuck's sake. Will someone shut him up for a minute?
Torch.
Give him some light.
Ah, man I forgot them in the...
I'm sorry. I was rushing.
Will you lot hurry up? Come on.
Alright, yeah. This will do.
One, two, three.
♪ Hickory, dickory, dock The man just broke the lock ♪
Let's go.
Now, you lot know what to do in and out. We've got three minutes, yeah?
Gav's got the motor waiting for us.
Barry.
- That's two minutes for you, yeah? - Oh, piss off.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Hey, bro. Hey, what do you think here?
Oh, look at the size of it.
Where are you going to put it? Well, I'll find myself out.
Go, man.
I've always wanted one of these and it's still got the instructions, man.
We see 'em. You've wasted five minutes please.
- Hey, hey, hey, look. I've some of the goods. - Bag it up.
You lot, hurry up!
Relax, man. Gav's Gavin's sorted it. The alarm's been disabled.
Bollocks! You lot, come on.
Quick. Let's go! Let's go!
Guys, come on!
We're in the money.
- I could never be defeated. - Come on!
Ah, did mummy make you sandwiches?
Don't wind me up.
Your mum's so lovely.
I've just told you not to wind me up.
- Don't wind me up, please. - Hold on a minute, guys. What was that?
Don't worry about it. Someone else will pick it up.
But that was 54 Lydia Crescent, right?
So that makes us the closest unit.
Confirm who is running.
Hello. What?
Look we only just booked time before we picked you up.
...a silent approach as suspects may...
Alright, alright.
Yeah, Echo 1.
Can we get a suspect description?
Suspects may still be on scene.
Oi. We're gonna head down to the unit now, yeah? Do a search on it.
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
Ah, where's the... You lot!
I'm over here! Quick! Quick! Hurry up!
Come on! Driver, what is this?
Ah, well you said, "Get a motor. Get a motor." This is all I could get.
I said a getaway motor, Gavin!
Get away!
Come on, bruv. The clue was in the sentence.
Why not tell the fucking world where we are?
This is all I could get on such a short notice.
It's a fucking robbery, not a holiday.
Of course, it's gonna be short notice.
- Where did you get it from? - Oh, my brother in law, alright?
- He doesn't do stuff like this. - Your brother in law?
What a muck!
You went and got us a car with giant purple letters on the side and the company number on it?
- I don't even know the guy! - Oh, for fuck's sake.
Let's just get out of here man.
Really? Oh, shit. Yeah, my missus, she went shopping earlier.
- Idiot. - Shopping in the bloody getaway motor.
Are you mad?
Bruv, just get in the back now, move.
- Get on! Go get in the back! - Come on. Come on.
- Let's go. - Come on. Go.
Mate, this is a fucking nightmare.
- For Pete's sakes, the police. - Alright.
Patience? We been making a bloody robbery, mate!
Come on, now. Step on it, mate.
- Let's go! - Hold up. I'm getting a fever.
- Heart palp... I can't think of the word... - Palpitations!
Yeah, palpitations. Mate, I feel like I got a heart attack.
Come on!
Start it!
Yes! Have a little faith people. A little faith.
There they are guys. Let's get them red handed.
Hold on, hold on, hold on. Don't be too hasty.
They're getting away.
Don't worry about it. We'll give them a little bit of a head start.
Then we'll stick the blues on. Then we'll give chase. It will make it more exciting.
- Really, but they're... - Relax.
Chill out.
Listen, I know you're just trying to turn it down from the big smoke.
But trust us.
We do things a little bit differently around here.
Besides, it's a straight road from here into town.
We'll just radio in and have the roads blocked off.
Piece of cake.
You'll see.
If you say so.
Who left their shopping bags?
Fucking hell, man.
Go straight down there and take the next left.
Step on it, Gav!
What's going on? What's going on?
- Come on! - What's going on?
- Are you kidding me? - Gav, what is going on?
Oh, no. It's the petrol, man. We've run out of petrol.
- It's empty. - Look, Gavs, you're on empty.
Bruv, eh. Eh?
Gav, you've got to be joking me. A getaway car with no petrol.
- Are you serious? - Oh, mate. I don't know I don't know!
- Fucking hell, man. What's this? - What's going on?
What's happening?
Fucking petrol. Man, we've run out petrol.
Are you kidding? Ah, one more job you say.
- Barry, man, calm down. Look just... - Ah, I'm sorry.
No, but I don't want to go back to prison and all that.
Give me a second, man. Let me think.
Think Parksey, think.
One job. One job.
Listen, listen, listen. Come this way, man. Come this way. Quick.
Come on!
We are at present.
I repeat, have we got any other unit to assist.
I repeat, this is a silent approach.
Oh.
Come on, man. Hurry up.
Wait, wait, shh.
- Wait, do you hear that? - What?
- That. - What?
If I knew what it was, I wouldn't ask would I?
You's lot just stop pissing about and keep moving.
It's not funny, Al.
Ah, lighten up, man. Do you know how much money we just made?
Seriously, come on. It's just a little bit of fun.
Didn't you ever go camping when you was a kid?
It's hardly camping, Al.
And, no, I did not. Bugs and spiders, oof. No, thanks.
- Me neither. - Guys, where's Parksey gone?
You know, you shouldn't be out here alone.
I'm not.
These woods. These grounds.
The trees. The branches.
The shadows. The wind.
It's all true.
What are you on about, mate?
You shouldn't be here. It's not safe.
None of you should be here.
She's always watching. They're always watching.
They see everything.
Everyone.
You. Your friends. Get out of here while you can.
We don't plan on camping out here if that's what you mean.
There he is. Hey!
- Oi. - Parksey.
- Hey! - Where you been?
That just happened.
Mate, who were you talking to?
Didn't you see the old man? He was just...
What happened to you's lot, anyway?
Are you alright, mate?
I think you've been watching too many ghost movies.
"Don't go into the woods today because they will scare you
and they're full of demon's blood."
I'm telling you, bruv, alright.
We are all going around in circles. I remember this tree right.
What is your name?
Bear Grylls? David Attenborough or something?
How the fuck are you remembering a tree?
I'm talking about what's on the tree, you schmuck.
"Debs was killed here."
What?
Oh, bro, it's probably just some kids mucking around.
When you were a kid, didn't you used to carve shit into trees?
Yeah, shit like "Sam and Peter were kissing here" or "Barry was here in 2011"
but not "Debs was killed here."
What was that?
It was probably a fox or something, man.
That don't sound like no fox to me.
Nah, I don't like this place, man.
Come on, let's keep moving.
Hey, you lot.
There's a light over there.
It's probably an old farm or something. We can kick there for the night.
Yo, yo, yo, yo.
Let's stash this lot here and we come back and get it in the morning, yeah?
Let's go.
Barry give me the bag.
Go, go, go.
We've just had a call from a member of the public.
A male was disturbing the peace with a non-member of the public and...
Wait. What was that?
- What? - Did you guys just...
- What was what? - ...South Rogue carry out...
I thought I heard something.
No. It's probably just the engine or something.
Yeah, it's the car.
No, I definitely heard something coming from back here.
Nah, it's nothing.
...North area. We have reports of a suspicious man...
Alright. Let's have a look in here then.
that's a male, wearing blue jeans and slacks.
I repeat.
Nothing in here.
Looks like they legged it through the woods.
I'll radio for backup and then we can go after them.
They can't have gotten far.
Shove that. I'm not running through there.
- Eh? - Yep.
I mean, there's no way I'm going in there.
It's meant to be... well, you know, haunted.
Haunted?
Haunted woods, really? Come on, guys. Don't be silly.
Haven't you heard the stories about Drakelow Manor?
No. Should I have then?
Alright.
Word has it, it was owned by some crazy rich aristocrat's wife years ago.
Yeah, she, uh, she had an affair and left her husband
and married some other guy who she had five beautiful daughters with.
Once upon a time in a faraway land, there was a princess from Haldane Place.
Childy, why are you still awake?
I'm reading, papa.
And your sisters?
Greta's gone to bed.
Gretel's with mamma.
And Gilda's gone to check man.
And what of Girtrude?
No one cares about Girtrude.
Mm-hm.
Anyways, the girls got older.
All the boys for miles fancied them.
Four of them.
Yeah, the four pretty ones that is.
If any man or boy who got close to that house would so much as look at those girls...
Well, they'd go missing, wouldn't they?
Go forth, man. Just go to the door.
What's the worst what she can say?
See but it's not her one is worried about, my good man.
'Tis her father.
Nobody can get to those women.
But maybe if I were to...
Stop being a pussycat, man.
You see, this is why he hasn't reached a world of manhood yet.
Brah, master hasn't sowed his oats yet!
Yes, I have. What you...
So, hold on. You're telling me that the last bosoms thou caressed was one of his mother!
Shame on you. Listen, stay here.
A man of my caliber will have it done in seconds.
Trench!
At first, they thought it was the old man.
- Yep. - Knocking them off.
Burying them underneath of the grounds of the manor.
You know what dads are like.
But then it was women, children.
I'm not sure about this. Let's just go home.
Come on, man. Stop being such a chicken.
But what if she you-know-who.
Everyone in the village plays knock down ginger.
- Well, I'm not scared. - You're not? I mean, I'm not either.
- I'm just asking. - Me neither. Come on. Let's go.
- What do we do now? - Go home.
- We can't just leave them there. - Yep, go home.
That place has been on sale for donkeys.
People don't even go near it.
People won't even go and have a look in it.
That place is cursed.
- Cursed? - Yeah.
I mean, they called in priests, monks,
whatever you call them, from around the world,
to try and get rid of the spirits.
You know, Longmire get rid of dopey and evil spirits.
Me never meet one yet me couldn't get rid of.
I am Father Frederick.
Come out!
Woo!
Hey! Hey!
Lord have mercy. The place's cursed!
Well, and did they?
Get rid of the spirits?
Be gone from here.
Go back to your world.
You're not welcome here.
Feck off!
- No, no, not quite. - Not quite.
And you guys really believe all this, yeah?
If you do want to go and take a look, you're more than welcome to.
But I won't have nothing to do with it.
- Yeah, we're uh... - I'm uh...
- We're gone.
We're... Yeah, we're off.
Bryan.
James.
Ah, my face, man. What's happening?
Yeah, bro. It just cut me as well.
I've been cut, too, you know.
Guys, where are we? Narnia or something?
More like Transylvania.
Oh, bruv. Bro, I'm not going in there.
Look at this place. It's got "You will die" written all over it.
Got a better idea, brains? Let me do the talking, alright?
Camping van broke down.
We called a tow truck. It won't come here until the morning.
Simple.
Look at us, man.
Hire-a-robber.com.
Would you let them stay at your house if you knocked at the door?
Uh... So, no. I'm not going in there.
That door just opened by itself. What kind of house does that? I say we go somewhere else, man.
Yeah. I agree. Maybe we could go somewhere else that's close by.
In case you lot ain't noticed, the fuzz still out there looking for us.
One night ain't gonna kill no one.
Why would you say kill? Ugh.
You know what? You go first.
Go on. I'm not going in there. I can't go first.
I'm the black guy and I've seen how this movie ends.
I'm not dying first, man.
I've seen Scream 2, Ghost, The Unborn. Uh-uh.
Yeah, you know what? He's right. And Alien.
Makes me laugh.
You guys are meant to be the fastest runners in the world
and, yet, you're the first to get caught and killed.
I just don't understand it.
They're films, man. They're not real.
Whatever, man. You go in their first.
Shh, come on!
Hello.
Hello. Anyone home?
There's no one here. Come on. Let's go.
The electric ain't working.
- Let's move. - Move. Move what?
Nah, move where?
Why don't... Why don't we just stay by the door? You know, just in case?
Wuss.
Guys, I still think we should stay by the door.
Bloody hell.
Hey, Parksey.
Looks like we hit the jackpot, mate.
Some of this stuff must be worth a fortune.
- It's creepy, innit? Have you seen all the cobwebs? - Mm-hmm.
Wonder who they are.
They were beautiful, wow.
It's mad though, really. I mean, this picture.
It doesn't even look like it's finished though.
What the fuck was that?
What's the matter? Are you scared?
No.
Whatever. I'm going to the ladies' room.
- What? - Do you want one of us... One of them to go with you?
- Just in case? - In case of what?
I'm a big girl. I'm sure I'll be fine.
Yeah, but, Mads, it's a big strange house.
You sure you're alright to go to the toilet on your jacks.
- Come on, mate. - Gav, Gav, I am going to the Loo.
- Yeah, but it's... - I'll be fine.
- Alright. Okay.
Parksey. Look, look behind you.
Yeah, yeah, mate, I'm a mug.
I've got mug written across my head.
No. I'm serious. Gavin, look over there by the door.
You're a fucking dick.
How can you not see them? They're right there.
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy...
Oh, God! I'm scared. Help me out here. Barry, you're just nervous.
- You're just scared. - What the fuck are you doing?
Calm down. Count to three. Get off me.
- Liven yourself up, mate. - Sort it out.
One, two, three.
Ah!
Thank you, God. Ah.
Hey, Sunday, I'm going to be in church. I promise.
And, hey, no more weed. No more alcohol. No more wom...
No more weed and alcohol. I promise.
Oh.
I'm good, guys. Relax, I'm alright.
They're... Yo there...
There was two of them. Aye, and they looked the same. Twins. They were twins.
Alright, man. Alright, look.
Calm down. Start again.
Black twins.
And they both had dreadlocks.
Dreadlocks, bruv?
What, like Bob Marley? Peter Tush? Ronnie Soy?
Look, I know what dreadlocks look like, for fuck's sake.
Right. Let me get this straight.
Twins. Twin ghosts with dreads.
Was one smoking a spliff?
Piss off, man. I know what I saw.
What you think you saw, you mean.
You know what? This is why you lot should die first, yeah.
You'll never believe me and I'm just here trying to warn you.
Alright, alright. Okay, look.
Whatever you saw, it's gone.
There's nothing there. Take a look around.
Look, it may be gone now but I know what I saw, right.
Guys, speaking of gone, Madison's been gone for ages now.
See? See? What did I tell you, yeah? She's dead.
You don't know what I'm saying, but I'm gonna, right now, man up and just tell you right now.
- She's dead. - You fucking Muppet.
Of course, she ain't dead. No one's killed no one.
She's probably lost or something.
Yeah.
But maybe we should look for her, yeah?
Wait. No, no, no, no. No, go look for who? What? Where?
No, no, no.
You know what? You stay here with the Bob Marley twins, yeah?
Alright, you know what, I'm coming.
Fuck!
Oh, gross.
Parksey, is that you? You bloody perv.
Can't a woman just pee in peace?
Parksey?
Gav?
What happened?
I don't know. It was just standing there.
Who?
I don't know.
It was horrible.
Did it have dreadlocks?
Just asking.
It's this place, you know.
We're not supposed to be here. I'm not supposed to be here.
When was the last time you saw a black guy in a castle, man?
Exactly.
I'm... done. I'm leaving. I'm getting out of this...
Hold on! Hold on! Everyone just chill for a second.
Look, it's been a long night.
We are all tired.
Granted this place looks like it's taken out of a Stephen King book.
So that's probably all fucking with your heads.
Let's just get some sleep and we leave first thing.
Okay. Hold on, hold on. Did he just say "Get some sleep?"
Is he... Are you mad, bro?
Nah, man.
Nah, I just saw some demonic twins with dreadlocks, by the way.
She saw whatever she saw.
And you want us to stay here tonight?
Nah, man.
Not to mention, whatever else is in this bloody place.
And you want to talk about sleep, mate?
Look, we ain't going nowhere until the morning and that's it!
If we leave right now, the only place we're going is prison.
They're still out there looking for us or have you forgotten that?
Hey, yo. I'll take my chances, man.
Better than staying here, man.
Hey, who's coming?
You know what? Right, on second thought,
it's probably best we go when it's light already, you know?
- And we'll be in this room together, won't we? - Look,
you's lot settle down for the night.
I'm gonna go look around and make sure the place is secure.
Anyone wanna come?
- Nope. - Nah. Ban that, bro.
Mm-mm.
"Local historian Godfrey Beckings has confirmed
that millions of pounds worth of old gold
may still be buried somewhere on Drakelow grounds."
"Mother and daughter missing: feared dead."
Will anyone ever buy Drakelow grounds?
- Barry. - Mm?
What made you decide to go again?
- What? Do another job? - Yeah.
I thought you were set after you got out.
Yeah, so did I but turns out Cock Eye, yeah, did a runner with the Reddies.
Yeah, bastard.
Proper stitched us up. You know we did four years a piece?
And well, I also made Aaron a promise.
- Who's Aaron? - My cousin.
I looked after him and his daughter for a good while, but, um, he passed away recently.
He was on a job and he fell out a window.
Sorry.
What about you? What are you doing there?
It's not like you ever needed the money.
Oh, I'm just a greedy cow.
No, I um... I just like the thrill.
Anyway, you get some sleep.
The rest are all lights-out.
You can, but I can't get any sleep in here.
So, yeah, go on. You go to sleep. I'll keep watch. Trust me.
I ain't closing one eye in here, man.
What are you doing? It looks creepy.
Nothing.
Just making sure you's cool. That's it.
What is that?
Oh, this?
It's nothing. It's just... Get some sleep, yeah?
Hey, Gav. Where's Mads?
What? I don't know, man. I was sleeping.
I thought you were keeping watch.
I closed my eyes for one second and now she's gone.
She's fine, man. She's probably just gone to the toilet.
Toilet!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Can you hear that?
- What? - Shhh.
♪ Hush little baby Don't say a word ♪
♪ Papa's gonna buy you A mockingbird ♪
♪ And if that mockingbird Don't sing ♪
♪ Papa's gonna buy you A diamond ring ♪
What's that?
See? I told you she's alright.
It's coming from around there.
Jesus!
♪ Papa's gonna buy you A mockingbird ♪
♪ And if that mockingbird Don't sing ♪
♪ Papa's gonna buy you A diamond ring ♪
Mads?
Guys, come here. This is Chloe.
It is Chloe, isn't it?
She was just saying... What?
Ah, you know what? You're a nob.
She was just telling me about this place, weren't you?
- She says... - Wait, what's she on about?
There's no one there.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
I have no fucking clue what just happened there.
She was there. She was right there.
- Who was? - Chloe!
Ah, Barry!
- Wait! Barry! - Barry, what...
What happened, Barry?
It's okay. It's okay. You must have been having a bad dream.
It's okay.
Where's Barry? Where?
You lot, you lot, there's people in the house. I hear voices.
Who, who, who? What? Fits?
I don't know.
Bollocks. You lot, come on quick. Get up. They're coming this way.
- Yeah, so what are we gonna do? - Find somewhere to hide. Come on, quick. Go!
Now, that we've seen outside, um, do come in and look at this.
We have so many exciting properties on our books at the moment.
But this one is a real steal.
In fact, this room hasn't been touched since the previous owners moved out.
Look at it. It's the real knight. The knight.
Shh.
And I cannot believe this room.
It is absolutely spectacular. Don't you think?
This room is a great size. I really like it.
Mommy, mommy. Can I go and play?
Yes, of course, you can, darling.
So, how long did you say Drakelow Manor has been on the market for?
Well, it's been on the market for around about two or three hundred years...
Three or four days it's been on the market.
And to be perfectly honest, there's already been loads of interest.
Oh, yes. Loads.
And we'll be really sad to leave this place,
but Paul here has a great job opportunity overseas.
- Haven't you, darling? - Indeed, darling. Yes, I do. That's right.
I think you and your family would absolutely love it here.
And it's on the market for only one thousand gold pieces.
Oi, I could save up my gyro and get this place you know?
- Shh. Be quiet. - Okay.
This place is humongous. Surely, it must be worth thousands more than that.
No, no. One thousand gold pieces.
Drakelow Manor and all its land can be all yours.
It's a great deal. Don't you think?
♪ Pat a cake, pat a cake Baker's man ♪
♪ Bake me a cake As fast as you can ♪
♪ Pat a cake, pat a cake Baker's man ♪
♪ Bake me a cake As fast as you can ♪
♪ Pat it and prick it And mark it with B ♪
♪ Put it in the oven For baby and me ♪
♪ Pat a cake, pat a cake Baker's man ♪
♪ Bake me a cake As fast as you can ♪
♪ Pat it and prick it And mark it with B ♪
♪ Put it in the oven For baby and me ♪
♪ Put it in the over For baby and me ♪
♪ Pat a cake, pat a cake Baker's man ♪
Now, where were we? Um, would you like to see the rest of the house now?
Nettie, that's a nice name. My name's Olivia.
Oi, I'm telling you. You see this place? We need to get out of here.
Something. Something doesn't feel right.
Yeah, come on. The sooner we find the others, the sooner we can leave.
- You want me to go first? - Uh-huh.
- Oh, come on. - Ow!
- Ah! Barry, my weave! - Sorry.
- Ah! - Sorry.
Hey, why didn't we sleep in here instead of that dirty old room?
- Are they gone? - Yeah, they just left.
Oh, shit man. I thought we were gonna get nicked then.
Where is Parksey?
- We thought he was with you. - No. We were split up.
Well, he's dead.
Oh, my God! He's dead. Parksey is dead.
- He's dead. - What are you talking about?
He ain't dead, man. Alright?
If I know Parksey, he's probably gone to go find the stash.
- Oh... - You know what he's like.
Come on, he couldn't have gotten far, alright? Let's go.
- Come on. - Come on.
Wait for me.
All this hard work and for what? He's gone missing. Has he been abducted by aliens?
- Aliens? - I told you. Well, you never know.
Aliens are here, you know? They live amongst us. I mean, look.
- Around here. - Around here. Around here.
There's got to be an alien here.
Surely, he is crazier than me.
And I told you, mate, you stay where you are.
I do the fucking thinking. You do the fucking... No.
Listen to me. Listen to me.
Are you sure this looks sorted, though?
Yeah, it's all sorted, Mr. Sanderson.
I'm on it now.
I told you, didn't I?
Yes.
Piece of cake.
Those gold pieces are worth millions, son. Fucking millions.
Look, don't' fuck this up.
Of course, not Mr. Sanderson. Everything's going to plan.
Really? You're sure?
Devil's have been diverted I've... I've just got to call the lads, Mr. Sanderson,
and I'm, um... and yeah, it's all sorted.
Just call me Bob. I'm not your fucking teacher.
Alright. Bye.
Prick.
Are you sure about Parksey?
Me and a couple of the guys could have sorted this.
Look just fucking drive, will you?
Oh, fuck. The map.
Bloody hell.
I thought they was never gonna leave.
Alright, finally, we can eat. I am absolutely starving.
Why do you keep doing that stuff?
Scaring people.
You get on my last nerve.
You get on my nerves. You're no fun.
- Hey! - You two, stop. I mean it.
It's lovely.
We're stuck in this place forever if you lot carry on.
I hate it here.
She's right. If no one buys this place, we're stuck here forever.
Do you know how long that is?
Forever. Ever-ever.
Ever-ever.
That's not funny.
I've already been here for like 300 years. Stumpy's right.
I am trying to leave.
Listen, I'll be real with y'all.
I know that I'm going to hell and I don't want nothing to do with that.
Like, I don't.
I hear it's hot like crazy down there.
- I can't... I'm with you, boss. - Same, bro.
All I'm saying is I either want to be dead or alive.
Like this thing is just mad because this whole in between thing is crazy.
I can see people but they can't see me and I saw my ex the other day, right,
and remembered she was with that guy. Her new man.
He was doing that thing with the tongue and pointing and that... yeah.
Anyway, surely, there's a way out of here?
There's got to be. Mind you, I'm not complaining.
One would wish.
But as far as I'm aware, there's only one way out of this god forsaken place.
It must be purchased.
Hi. What will you do?
So, are we dead yet?
Oh, Jesus Christ! Come on, guys.
I'm sick and tired of all your company.
- Well what happened then? - What always happens.
This lot stopped me from making the bloody sale.
And I was so close this time.
How in the hell are we supposed to move on
if you lot keep scaring the shit out of people?
I, for one, think we should employ a no-scare truce.
Let's take a vote.
All those in favor, raise your hands.
- Wait. - All those that are not in favor, keep your hands down.
Uh, I ain't got no arms.
Just wink three times or something.
I ain't got no eyes.
Maybe not, maybe not.
I don't see what all the fuss is about.
Then again neither do you.
Yes, that's a good one. Yes.
Now, you know what?
I'm getting out of here.
Where are you going?
Away from you guys and from death.
- Left. Left. - Wrong way.
Left. My left. My left. Left, left, left!
Your left! Your left, your left! Your left. Your left.
Pull on the door!
Do you want a hand?
Right a bit.
- Watch where you're going! - Don't help him!
- No. - My dinner...
- That doesn't sit. - Enough!
If you want me, I'll be in the library.
C'mon, guys, this way. Look, look, look.
Here's that tree!
What?
Oh, for fuck's sake!
I can't believe it.
See, what's happened?
It's all gone.
Everything.
But how, though? He wouldn't.
It had to be Parksey! Where is he then?
Whoa! Guys.
I saw him with this yesterday, he must have dropped it.
It's a map.
A map of the castle.
Yeah, but why would he have a map of the castle?
Yeah, why would he have a map of the castle?
Just ask that.
Dude, I knew he was up to something!
We shouldn't have trusted him.
Look it's got... It's got the route we took and where the car was parked everything!
Wait, there's gold buried here.
Huh? I don't understand.
I do.
Parksey, you're good.
In fact, you're a bloody genius, mate.
Hello.
No, no, no, no. Mr. S...
I mean, I mean, Bob.
Look, everything is under control.
I just, um...
I've misplaced the map.
Mace, deal with him. I can't deal with it. I can't!
I just worked something out about you, Parksey.
You're a talker. You talk too much. The boss doesn't like talkers.
He likes doers. Me, I'm a doer.
So, I suggest, you bring this gold back to the boss,
otherwise, I'm gonna have to find you.
C'mon, you monks, pick up the phone.
Hello? Oh, you two..
I've only gone and lost the bloody map, didn't I?
I need you's at the spot right now. I need that... I need that copy.
Any units from Charlie Delta. We need all units.
I need suspects on premises.
granted immediate response.
Lead unit please respond. No description of suspects at this time.
Hiya!
No, no, no. I'm not at the station yet.
What?
- He conned us all along. - I know.
He made us think that we're gonna get this great deal from this house robbery
when really all he ever wanted was the gold in the castle.
- Clever though. - So, what now then? All this for nothing?
Do you know what? We've got a laugh. I can just hear it now.
Do-do-do-do.
Breaking news, gang robs house then gets robbed by a gang leader.
- Yeah. - And they're all sentenced to ten years in prison.
Do you know how dumb we're gonna look? I'm pissed.
That's not gonna happen.
What do you mean?! He's got everything the bastard.
Not everything.
Look, there's gold in that castle, right?
And probably lots of it. So, all we've got to do is go back in and...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, go back in there?
The castle? For all of us to die?
- Bruv, what is wrong with you? - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- C'mon! - Gavey!
All we've got to do is follow the map, right?
Find the gold before he does.
- Exactly! - She's got a point.
- Yes, let's do it. - No, no. Here's a point. I got one.
Over there where the exit is, who's coming?
Oh, wait. Hold on!
Brother, please!
- C'mon, Barry. - "C'mon, Barry," what? Nah, I've had enough, alright?
We spent a night there in that house with the Addams Family
and now we're leaving here with nothing, I'm pissed.
So, hold on.
- You wanna tell me that someone has a map of the castle? - That's what she said anyway.
It's true. It's true. I heard them talking about it in the woods.
This is bad. Very, very bad.
No one has ever had a map of the castle before.
Unless...
Some of the pages are missing.
It's Girtrude.
Girtrude was ugly and I just don't mean normal ugly.
I mean, sack over the head ugly.
You can't go out in broad daylight ugly.
She couldn't even get a boyfriend, ugly.
This girl was so ugly that even ugly was upset to claim her.
The girl was... argh!
Okay, we get the message.
I'm not gonna lie, you know, I did try to mutate, you know.
You know that smile I do, bro, you know, the little...
I tried that one and, obviously, that didn't work, but it usually does.
I don't... I don't... I used to get bear kills with that.
That's probably why she killed you!
Cousin, Sir Mangrove,
introduced me to Akubu Putumbe Azawayu Aga-ugu Awasu.
I just called her Ugu-Ugu.
Who?
Bro, are you just making that up or was that actually her real name?
No, no, no. That was her real name.
Her nickname was the White Witch.
White Witch?
She was white.
With a name like that?
She learned her powers in the deepest darkest depths of Africa.
She went there on vacation and she met a Ghanaian man and that was it.
The witch gave Girtrude a potion, not any normal potion,
but one that would make her more beautiful than she could ever imagine.
When they said you were ugly, they really meant ugly.
And all she had to do was to return with one thousand gold pieces.
Now, that's my baby!
She didn't take it. So, I had to take it myself.
Have her return it.
Or else, the Spirits of the night come forth
and curse this castle for all time.
The castle must be bought for the same amount that Girtrude owes the witch.
Not one penny more, not one penny less.
If the gold is removed from the castle before it is sold
then we all will be trapped within its walls forever.
Well, that suits me fine. I didn't wanna move on anyway.
That's you. I don't like these ends, man. This place is freaky.
Hey, whoa!
Hey, how long have you been listening?
- We were just... - We?
Bruv.
You know I do this thing.
You guys might like it here, but us? We don't belong here, man.
You're on there.
So, what are we gonna do?
We're gonna stop the gold from leaving the castle.
That's what we're gonna do.
Hey, love.
You alright?
Little Alice never left this place.
She wanted to play the game with us.
Little Alice didn't like our game.
She tried to call mommy for help, but mommy couldn't hear her.
Girtrude found her first and she chopped her up into little pieces
and buried her under a tree.
That tree.
Do you want to play the game with us?
I'll let you hide and count to ten.
I'm not being funny but do we look like we wanna play hide and seek?
One.
- I'm not scared of this little 15-year-old. - Two.
There's worse girls in Peckham, bruv.
- Today... - Three.
...I'm going out like a Jamaican.
- You know that saying? - Four.
Dog not off your back toppin' off of ya frightened.
And I'm gonna be that guy today! Me not scared of nothin'.
Bro, it's not her I'm scared about... it's... it's him.
- Oh, shit run! - Ah!
- Ah!
Hey, she dropped.
She's dead. Leave her, bruv.
- Ow, ow! - We gotta go!
Let's go!
Hey, what was that?
Hey, this place is evil. I say forget the gold, forget the body.
Can we just leave, please?
What are you talking about? What?
And... and let Parksey have it all? Over my dead body, man.
- Oh, really? Over your dead body, yeah? - Well, you know what?
Let's just find this gold and get the hell out of here, alright?
Oh, she's here.
She doesn't look too happy.
Well?
- You met Officer Nicholls, right? - Yeah.
- Good to see you.. - Officer Phillips.
- Hey, I've seen you around. How you doing? - Good, thanks.
You're gonna absolutely love this. Check this.
- I don't get it. - You will.
Look. It's Bryan and James.
A.K.A. the real police constable Bryan and James.
Don't get it, man. Look at this!
Quick, hurry up!
Look! Lee and Adam.
The infamous Parksey brothers!
Or should I say two of them? There's three in total.
No way! But how?
They hijacked a patrol car posed as police and then picked you up.
Only got caught because they had to stop for petrol
- and someone heard screams coming from the boot. - Classic.
- I thought I heard something. - The engine or something.
- Nah, it's probably just... - Yea, it's the car.
No, I definitely heard something coming from back here.
And that's not it. Look, I found this as well.
They're not talking to us at the moment
but I know exactly that this is a map of the castle and the grounds around it.
And I bet my life that is exactly where these guys were heading.
- Well, you said there was two of the Parksey brothers, right? - Yeah.
Well, I'll probably guess where the third one's headed.
C'mon guys, let's go!
Wait what?
What at the castle, us three?
Yeah, we need to arrest Parksey before another robbery takes place.
I'll call for backup on the way.
Backup! Drakelow Manor Castle! No one's coming out there.
C'mon guys, we could get a massive promotion for this.
Yeah, I would.
I mean, I'd really like to help and everything,
but, um, I've got an appointment, actually.
Um, gosh, I'm late already.
Right. Uh, see ya! C'mon, Nicholls.
Well, I can't. I'm dropping these two to the station.
Well, I guess that just leaves you and me Perkins
Stop your fucking tapping.
Boss!
I don't mean to speak out of turn, but do we... I mean... do you really trust Parksey?
What's to say he won't take all the gold for himself and piss off?
He's got a point in there, boss. Those brothers aren't exactly angels, are they?
Yeah, would he dare though? That's the big question.
Well, c'mon then, Knuckles. You're the one with all the answers.
You show us.
- We're here, in the main hall area, right? - Okay.
The gold is in the outhouse.
All we've got to do is follow the map and the gold is ours.
Well if we're gonna do this, let's do this now before it starts to get dark!
- Yeah. - Let's go.
Hey, Knuckles, what do you reckon?
What's this?
It's to cover my face so they don't see me.
We ain't fucking boys in the hood, mate!
Look, I don't need you fucking this up for me, alright?
Mr. Sanderson sent me. I'm going alone.
Well, why don't we take care of Parksey. He's taking a piss, isn't he?
Yeah, I know, bruv. But it's not for you, it's too soon.
Alright?
I'll tell you what, you can do me a favor.
Make sure I don't get a fucking parking ticket.
What? So, I can't come.
But... but I don't understand. How did they find out about the gold?
Everybody knows about the gold.
It's the Drakelow Castle family history,
but no one has dared venture and try and take it until now.
We have guarded this for many, many years,
but I fear if Girtrude wakes up...
She'll be mad!
Kill... everything, everybody.
She'll kill us all over again.
He's right this time. She's gonna be really upset.
I just wanna go to heaven.
See my Aunt Bookelaw and my cousin Yam.
Yam? As in eat a lot?
No, no, Yam as in like the head shape.
Um, big in the front, small in the back like cadet.
Ah, yes. I get the full picture.
Hold on. I got an idea. I need a pen and a piece of paper.
And a map of the castle from the library...
and let's pray that Cousin Mangrove is still talking to me.
She killed him too.
Yes. Um, yes, she did, didn't she?
I think we should just move.
I think we should set the place on fire. Burn it down.
Nah, forget that. We got bigger problems.
Mr. Drakelow, he doesn't want the girl to leave the castle.
What's so funny?
Cause if it does happen, it means more will come
and someone's going to buy this place,
break the curse and do you know what that means?
We're all going to end up...
What, downstairs?
No, you idiot. Hell, forever.
Yeah, that's... that's not good.
And you... you haven't been listening.
I'm just trying to grow out my lady tickler.
You can't even grow a beard. Your face looks like my bum cheek.
Give it up, mate. You can't grow a beard like this.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, sorry, babe. Even I have got more hair than you.
- Ooh! - Yeah, down there.
Ooh!
Oh, hey. Do you all remember Taniqua?
- Your main? - The one with uh...
- Eddie Bref! - What?
Dominica's bigger sister. I'm talking about Taniqua.
- Awe. - Awe, you loved her.
Well, is she still about?
Um, I think so, but she's just what we need.
Right, get to it!
Okay. Well, yes is yes. Come on, get up.
- Ouch! - Watch out, you clumsy oaf!
Sorry, Sir Godfrey.
What's your head doing down there, anyway?
Well, that's my prerogative, is it not?
Anyway, what do you want?
Sir Mangrove.
What is it, Nettie?
We need your help. We're all spooksters.
There's people in the castle and if... and if we don't...
I need to talk to you before Mr. Drakelow does.
I know there is.
My cousin's been to see me,
and as I told him, we will offer no such help to anyone.
But he says you're the only one in the whole castle
who can move around freely without being seen.
You've got to help us. Please, Sir Mangrove, you've just got to.
I have got to do no such thing.
Now, get out.
Nobody ever comes up here to see us, so why should we?
No, we won't.
- But... - I said get out!
I said get out!
Guys, we're going the right way. This is the library, look.
Hey, Mads.
Guys!
Okay, now, some of these books must be worth an absolute fortune.
- I wonder how old they... - Hey, hey, hey!
Don't touch anything in here. Yeah?
Please, you might pull some trapdoor or some secret passage.
Just don't touch anything, alright?
- Mads, Mads, come look at this kit. - Hey, hey. What did I just say?
I need you to relax a minute. I wanna show her something.
What is this?
"The curse of Drakelow Manor Castle has terrified the residents of Drakelow
- for over 300 years." - Oh, great So, this place is now cursed.
Yeah, that's all we need.
"There have been over a hundred reported sightings of ghostly apparitions,
strange happenings, and interactions with childlike figures and ghostly twins."
Oh, my God!
Hey, twins?
What did I tell you? See, I told you.
- Did it say anything about dreadlocks? - No, Barry.
- It does not say... - Well, I know what I saw, yeah? They had dreadlocks.
- I don't know why so. - "Whoever buys the castle for one thousand gold pieces
will free the spirits from its walls
and allow them to forever rest in peace."
Oh, what else does it say?
"If the gold pieces are removed from the castle before its sale, the curse will..."
Oh, shit, there's a page missing.
So what? We don't know if it's gonna be a good curse or a bad curse.
Is that what you're saying?
When have you ever heard of a good curse, bro?
They always end up with people dead.
Alright, look. Forget it. Forget it, alright? Let's carry on.
- Where are we on the map? - Okay, so listen.
We're still in the library, so if we head back out, do a left,
we're gonna end up in this area here.
Okay?
I come here all the time to play.
I know where she's hidden it.
I can show you if you like.
Uh, who said that?
It came from over...
Uh, that's... that's a talking wheelchair.
That is freaky.
Our Father, who art in heaven...
Shh! Barry, Barry, Barry.
I know that voice from somewhere.
Here we go.
Hey, don't be afraid. Show yourself.
Don't be afraid.
It is us who should be afraid.
Oh, shit!
I won't hurt you.
- Guys. - What?
It's the missing page from the book.
Yeah, yeah.
It says, "whoever dies on Drakelow Manor soil..."
We're gonna die!
"...will be trapped here forever."
- Wait! No! - Alright, that's us then.
She said you're the only person who can stop the curse.
Who said? What curse? I don't understand.
Bruv, why is she talking to it like it's her children?
- I don't know. - Get off me, mate.
You came to me in my dream, didn't you? You're Chloe.
You've been trying to contact me. What do you want?
What do you mean what she wants? She wants to kill us, isn't it?
- Why are we still... - Whoa, guys!
What?
Um.
Oh, my God!
Mads, that looks exactly like you.
It does, you know.
Madison Elizabeth Olivia Drakelow.
- That's your name. - That's my name. I don't get it.
She was your distant cousin.
I'm her daughter Chloe.
Girtrude poisoned us both.
Girtrude. Who is Girtrude?
That's one ugly name.
They say that the only way to lift the curse
is for someone to buy this place with the gold pieces still in here,
but there is another way.
The curse can be lifted if a female from the Drakelow bloodline removes the gold.
Only those of Drakelow heritage may touch the gold while on the castle grounds
or hell itself will arise, she will awaken.
Why me?
You are the only living female descendent of the Drakelow bloodline.
No one else can do it.
But how am I... I... I don't know what I'm supposed do.
I can't believe you're having a conversation with a... with a... one of those.
We must hurry, we do not have much time.
Let's go. Come on, Mads. You can do it.
Wait! Who's gonna push me?
You got here yourself, you figure it out.
I can't actually believe that you're pushing that thing.
- I have a name. - I wasn't talking to you.
Well, it's not like you was gonna push her, was you?
I am cool, you know.
I'm just gonna wait here until that backup arrives.
You're scared, aren't you?
I mean do you really believe all that stuff, ghosts and spooks?
You've got more to be worried about with the living than the dead.
- Trust me. - Well, try telling that to those kids that died
at Camp Crystal Lake.
Wait, isn't that Jason from Friday the 13th?
- Ah, that's a film. - Yeah, but they still died though.
Do you know that Jason killed 146 people in that twelve films?
That's a 12.2 slaughter per film ratio.
- I'm impressed. - Thanks.
I'm a movie buff, innit?
I bet you didn't know that all films are based on reality in some way.
Well, I think so anyway.
So, you mean to tell me we're gonna bump into The Incredible Hulk
or Frodo sometime soon then?
Oh, come on, man. Don't be silly.
And, look, we gotta keep it moving. Let's go. We're wasting time.
Hey, what if someone came out of there, man?
Like the guy with the Scream mask and just murdered us?
Hey, what if the guy from Get Out just come out and was like...
You watch way, way too many films, Perkins.
Could happen though.
I think... I think we're almost here.
Hah!
Hey, I think we should just... Nothing.
We're here.
We don't have to go inside. I think if we head around that way, we'll end up here
and then we can catch Parksey red handed.
Come on.
Big houses they creep me out and I don't like lots of land either.
Did you know Michael Myers, yeah?
He killed about 94 people in ten films.
- That's a 9.4 average... - Okay, okay!
- ...per film! - I get it! Thanks for the info.
Wait for me, man.
I can go no further, but follow the path through the trees
and it will lead you to the gold.
The map will show you the way.
When you get outside, whatever you do,
do not look directly into those trees.
There is evil everywhere.
Did you hear that?
Evil.
Everywhere.
Are you sure about this?
Come on. You know I'm the only one who's here for no real reason.
As you said, I don't need the money.
Maybe it's my calling.
- You don't have to do this. - Parksey has completely and utterly stitched us up.
I say that we stand by Mads, right?
How am I supposed to find the gold with no map?
For fuck's sake.
If I... if I remember, rightly.
The map said, "Go down here." Yeah. That's it. That's it.
Who's there?
That you, Gav?
Alright.
Very funny, you lot.
You can come out now.
You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be here.
I know what you're thinking,
but I just moved the stuff to a safer place in case the feds were on to us.
You shouldn't be here.
Barry!
You shouldn't be here.
- Get out while you can. - Gav, stop mucking about.
Get out of here while you can.
Muppet!
What are you doing here?
Alright, don't do that, Knuckles.
What's it look like, bruv?
Taking care of business, ain't I?
Go on then, the map.
- It's got to be on him, innit it? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ah! Take the map, you fool.
Bingo!
- Yeah, that's the jackpot. - She's here, mate.
Did you hear that, Knuckles?
It's nothing, man!
Wait, Knuckles, I being tasty with these.
Alright, let's go, man.
Wasn't expecting that.
Still, it's all about the end result.
At least one of them has the new map.
Exactly.
He didn't even see me slip it into his pocket.
Guys?
- Come here. - Come on.
- Sweet. Do you lot really think there's gold here? - Yeah, man.
Alright. Well, do you know if that's the case,
hey, this year may not be Jamaica for me, I'm feeling N.Y.
Yeah. You know, in fact, you know what? Motherland.
You know "Wakanda forever" and all of that.
- Yeah. - What? Have you never been to Africa?
I'm Jamaican, bruv. Jamaicans don't really go to Africa.
Even Africans don't go to Africa for holiday, man.
I'm African and I've been to Africa.
What are you talking about, man? You're not African.
Of course, I am.
- What? - I can speak like Kwemy and Femy.
In fact, I'm going to make so much cash monies
I'm going to buy myself two pigeons, a goat and a cow.
Then I'm going to come back to London
and open up my African convenience stores.
Yeah, well you know what? I really fancy New York, man.
- Okay. - Look, guys.
- Yeah, New York. - Will you shut up for a minute?
Listen, we got to stay close and make sure that we stick together, okay?
And whatever you do, just keep looking straight ahead.
Don't look at the... trees.
Oh, no! Gavin.
Gavin. She said don't look at the trees!
Gavin!
- Hey, what's he doing there? - Gavin!
- Wait, hold on. What's he doing? - Gavin!
Calm down. Now, is not the time, mate.
There is something in the trees.
Either that or he smoking them trees.
- Oh, my God! - No. Mads. Mads. Mads.
No. No. You can't go in there, Mads!
'Cause if you go in there, we have to go in there.
What's wrong with you?
Just... can we just get out of here, please?
I'm not going anywhere without him.
But it's... but it's not even like he's your man, though.
Come on!
Alright, fine I'm coming.
You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be here.
- Get out of here while you can. - Gavin!
- Gav! - Gavin!
- Gav!
- Gav, stop messing around man! - Gavin!
- Look, now, I think he's dead, though. - Shut up, man.
Guys, I think this is it.
- What you mean, the gold's in there? - Yeah.
Listen, Girtrude was banished from the castle, yeah?
And made to live in an outhouse.
- The gold's got to be in there. - Ugh.
- Do you think? - Gavin!
It's Gavin's ring.
Gavin's got to be in here.
- Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. - Gav!
Wait. Can we think about it? What if whatever took Gavin is in there?
Man, I don't wanna get taken. Ah! I don't... argh!
- Gav! - Come on!
Gav! This way!
Gavin.
Gav.
Gavin, bruv. Where are you, man?
- Gav. - Carry on, carry on.
Gavin?
Gavin.
Gav.
Gavin stop playing games, mate.
Gav.
- Gavin. - Gav!
Alan Gavin, seriously man, come on.
Gavin?
- Gav. - Gavin!
Gavin. Gavin, look at me, look at me. It's me. It's Madison. It's alright.
You're gonna be safe.
Mate, what happened?
Oh, man!
Oh!
There was this girl.
She was in the forest. She just... she was... she was amazing.
She was just... We had this thing and she drew me in.
And I thought we were gonna... And... and then she was just gone.
She just vanished, man. Like, out of thin air.
I wanna go home.
Are you okay? Can you walk?
No. I wanna go home.
- Alright, let me help you out. - Barry, help me.
I just want to get out of here.
Come on.
Where are we, man?
Guys?
I think we're exactly where we've gotta be.
Take him outside. I've got to do this alone.
Yeah. She's absolutely right. On your own.
Yeah, 'cause... Or what?
The girl the midget the girly ghost or whatever it was.
Said you've gotta go on your own, only you can get the gold.
There's no point in us going in there and die...
Going in there with you.
Look, let's give her five minutes tops,
if she ain't back, I'm going home.
Because that means she's dead, right?
Come on. Come on.
I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
Here it goes.
- Wait, who are they? - I have no idea.
Probably more of Parksey's gang.
I think it's the right time to call for backup now, you know.
That could take hours. Look, we're doing this alone.
Alone?
We're not cut out to do this stuff alone.
All that action stuff, I can't do by myself, you know?
I'm more of a sit in a office kind of guy.
That's how I solve crimes.
All this action stuff's overrated.
Plus, there's three of them now, there could be more of them inside, you know.
Yeah, you could be right. Okay, listen.
You radio for backup and let's just hope they arrive quickly.
- Yeah, yeah. That's right. - Shh.
Shh. Sorry. Yeah, yeah.
Not on your mobile!
Ah!
Ah! Ow.
Ow.
Ow!
Ah!
- Piece of cake. - Oh, so you're still alive.
Until cookie Barry's. It's gonna take more than the Addams Family to scare me.
- Is that so? - Who are you?
I think you got something that belongs to Mr. Sanderson.
Oh, hey. Look at this.
- That looks like... - He's got a gun.
I recognize them.
That's Micky and Knuckles. They work for Bobby Brickwall.
- Come on. Hand over. - We ain't got all fucking day.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy. You don't wanna be doing anything stupid now, do ya?
Just hand over the gold and we'll be on our way. Come on, quickly.
Mr. Sanderson, don't like to be kept waiting, you know. You better fucking hurry up.
This is serious.
- What are we gonna do now? - Nothing. He's got a bloody gun.
Who are you?
It's nothing personal. Well, let's just say, we relieved Parksey of his duties.
- What? - And the rest of the stuff,
that's out the back by the old barn.
And you know what? They must be worth what?
At least a couple hundred bags back there.
And 'cause we're so generous, you can keep all that shit.
But we just need those gold coins, yeah? So, hand them over.
- And if we don't? - Woo! Okay.
I was just... I was just asking, bro. Woo! Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Come then, quick!
Mads, Mads, what are you doing? Don't give them anything, I'm telling you.
- Trust me. - What?
At least someone's got some fucking brains.
Hey, Mick let's go.
Nice doing business with ya.
You should not go down there.
I wanna go get for backup, okay?
Just wait here.
You're gonna leave me by myself?
The sneak.
I knew she was in it for herself anyway.
What was that?
It came from in there.
What? Of course, the gold! Right?
Yeah, man.
Only you can touch the gold and we're on Drakelow soil, right?
- Yes! - I'm not just blond hair, babes.
Wait, wait. Hold on.
If that's the case then... Girtrude.
- Oh, shit! Run! - Go!
Guys, we gotta split up.
Whoa, whoa. Did you just say split up?
Yes, Barry! Split up. Let's go!
Split up, man.
The tall guy is coming!
Hurry up!
Open the door!
Quick!
Hurry up!
- Come on. - Get in, get in!
No, Girtrude! Stop!
No one else needs to die!
Ah.
Pathetic! If you want something done, do it yourself.
- It's exactly like the Walking Dead. - Okay.
- It's season 2, yeah. Episode 3. - Yeah, but now is not the time.
Now's not the time! Calm down..
- For fuck's sake! - We gotta get out!
It's come here!
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
This isn't the time for God's prayer!
Hurry!
What the hell you doing in a tree?
Mate, there's zombies everywhere!
I know, bruv. Get down, man. Let's go!
Mate!
Oh, for fuck's sake.
I'm sorry!
Barry, Barry! Barry, what in the hell are you doing, man?
Come on. We gotta get the hell outta here, bro.
Get off me, bro.
You're not Barry!
Where you gonna go, bruv?
You ain't gonna do nothing!
Look at you fatty. Look at you.
Bruv, what you doing on the floor?
You're Barry!
That's... but... but you're... But there was a Barry!
- What you doing on the floor? - Barry, Barry!
- But just get up, man. Let's go! - He was... he was.
Please!
I love you!
I'm your father.
We love you.
I'm really sorry.
Girtrude.
But I don't understand.
How?
"The curse of forever ugly
will be lifted by the words, 'I love you.'
But only if spoken sincerely."
I love you, Girtrude.
- I love you. - Father.
That's all I ever wanted to hear.
. Feds are coming!
Look they're leaving, Perkins!
Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God! - God listened to your prayer.
God is good.
All the time.
God is good.
Let's get out of here.
Yeah, okay.
Guys, guys!
Wait, wait, wait.
Listen, I think they've gone.
Hang on a minute.
Where's Barry?
Barry?
Where's Barry?
One last easy jump they said.
Easy! Am I a mug?
Nah.
I've seen those horror films.
Black man dies first. That ain't gonna be me.
Nah!
I'm done with those three.
That was my last job, definitely.
We did it though. We got out, we got rich.
Now, all I've got to do is keep them out of sight and under control.
It is true what they say though, there's no honor amongst thieves,
especially, when doing moves with sods like Parksey.
- Poor, Parksey. - What do you mean?
- I've got something to tell you. - Lessons learned.
Number one, stay out of people's yards.
Number two, trust your instincts.
- I knew he was gonna get out of there though. - And number three,
always trust the scared black guy.
He's smarter than you think.
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