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<font color="#ffff00">Provided by explosiveskull</font>
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

2
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Okay it's about ready to get

3
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Grapes of Wrath
up in this bitch.

4
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Hi.

5
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Okay.

6
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All right.

7
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Fuck.

8
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Here we go.

9
00:00:45,414 --> 00:00:48,550
Hi.

10
00:00:48,584 --> 00:00:51,721
Hey.

11
00:01:02,499 --> 00:01:04,068
Hi.

12
00:01:09,006 --> 00:01:12,076
♪ If this makes you cringe ♪

13
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♪ Then you better
start walking away ♪

14
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♪ I said you turn back now ♪

15
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♪ If you don't want to see all
those things ♪

16
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♪ That you're asking of me ♪

17
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♪ Oh oh ♪

18
00:01:25,356 --> 00:01:31,595
♪ I'm no good,
I'm no good for you ♪

19
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♪ I'm no good,
I'm good for you ♪

20
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- Hey.
- Oh hey, you made it.

21
00:01:50,783 --> 00:01:53,719
Yes and I'm about ready
to get Grapes of Wraths

22
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up in this bitch.

23
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Okay, what?

24
00:01:57,389 --> 00:01:59,826
Um, grapes.

25
00:01:59,859 --> 00:02:02,627
Thank you,
I'm gonna put this here.

26
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- We're about to do some shots.
- Great.

27
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Yeah, I can do shots,
I can do shots, yeah.

28
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This is to uh,
what was your name again?

29
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- Harper.
- Harper, this is to Harper.

30
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Yeah, here we go.

31
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Woo.

32
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- Damn.
- I just sip it.

33
00:02:17,945 --> 00:02:19,847
Let's party!

34
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Woo!

35
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- Where did you get her?
- Shots! Shots!

36
00:02:23,984 --> 00:02:26,419
I'm not... I'm not saying
the president's a cyborg.

37
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But what I am saying

38
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is that there are two of them,
okay.

39
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The real one wears the red tie

40
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and the fake one
wears the blue tie.

41
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Where are you getting this?
Where are you getting this?

42
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Are you guys open to things?

43
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- I don't, um...
- Like an open...

44
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- Open... open.
- You can look it up

45
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on the Internet!

46
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The universe is shifting, okay?

47
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Mandela effect.

48
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The president?
The South African President?

49
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- What are you guys into?
- I just wanna know

50
00:02:58,186 --> 00:03:01,957
if this is like... are you
saying this for like me?

51
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Or like for him?

52
00:03:04,525 --> 00:03:06,061
'Cause that's where
I'm kind of like, eh.

53
00:03:06,095 --> 00:03:08,731
That's for me to know
not for you.

54
00:03:08,764 --> 00:03:10,465
The Monopoly guy does not
have a monocle.

55
00:03:10,498 --> 00:03:12,968
- The Monopoly totally...
- Does not have a monocle.

56
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- The peanut guy, I think.
- Yeah, the peanut guy

57
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- definitely have a monocle.
- I'm allergic to peanuts.

58
00:03:17,973 --> 00:03:19,707
So that has nothing
to do with this.

59
00:03:19,742 --> 00:03:23,045
This is a new era
of spectrumism.

60
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- It's the... it's...
- It's not gay or straight...

61
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We only really know what the top
one percent wants us to know.

62
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- Don't encourage.
- Dude.

63
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Ah, see this?

64
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That is what I'm saying.

65
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No, no, no, absolutely.

66
00:03:39,863 --> 00:03:43,199
I'm gonna go jerk off
thinking about you guys.

67
00:03:43,233 --> 00:03:45,902
He's such a funny guy.

68
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- He's funny, isn't he?
- That's what I'm saying, man.

69
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They only tell us
what they want us to know.

70
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They probably already found
the cure to cancer, you know?

71
00:03:54,245 --> 00:03:57,882
All right.

72
00:04:00,851 --> 00:04:04,889
Well, I have to take a shit.

73
00:04:04,922 --> 00:04:09,060
Yeah, take a shit, man.

74
00:04:12,264 --> 00:04:15,968
So, um, what's the show about?

75
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It's a web series.

76
00:04:18,937 --> 00:04:20,571
Mr. Cuddles' Tea Time.

77
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The famous turtle on Instagram.

78
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Have you not heard of him?

79
00:04:22,975 --> 00:04:25,077
You never heard of him?

80
00:04:25,110 --> 00:04:27,779
I don't know who
he is at all actually.

81
00:04:27,813 --> 00:04:30,015
Mr. Cuddles Tea Time,
people fucking love this.

82
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He's got a top hat.

83
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- People love that turtle.
- Absolutely.

84
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I don't understand,
how do you make a show

85
00:04:37,190 --> 00:04:39,591
- out of a turtle?
- How do you not?

86
00:04:39,624 --> 00:04:41,794
No, it's a talk show
and Cuddles is the host

87
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and other celebrity pets
come on the show.

88
00:04:43,695 --> 00:04:46,565
They drink tea, we hire voice
actors to speak for them.

89
00:04:46,598 --> 00:04:49,035
It sounds crazy but pet
celebrities are huge right now.

90
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Rob, Rob, Mr. Cuddles.

91
00:04:51,137 --> 00:04:52,704
What do you think about
Mr. Cuddles?

92
00:04:52,739 --> 00:04:55,041
- People love that turtle, man.
- See?

93
00:04:55,074 --> 00:04:57,676
Hold on though, isn't that
animal cruelty though?

94
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- No.
- No.

95
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Everyone gets paid.

96
00:05:01,681 --> 00:05:04,584
I think the turtle gets paid,
I assume.

97
00:05:04,617 --> 00:05:06,086
Does anybody want a refill?

98
00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:07,921
- Yes.
- Hard yes.

99
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Cheers.

100
00:05:11,624 --> 00:05:13,227
♪ Oo-ooo ♪

101
00:05:13,260 --> 00:05:15,029
♪ Oo-oo ♪

102
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♪ Haa-oo ♪

103
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♪ Haa-oo ♪

104
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Oh man.

105
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♪ Everybody over here now ♪

106
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♪ Eeeee ♪

107
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- Let's start a band.
- He like seems to be

108
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- in love with his best friend.
- No!

109
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:37,952
And um, sometimes he's just
there with his friend

110
00:05:37,986 --> 00:05:39,254
and it's just like...

111
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- Don't drive.
- No, no I'm gonna get an Uber.

112
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What's crazy is that my parents
are still together.

113
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- Oh that's...
- And it's crazy that...

114
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it's crazy that my parents...
like, everybody here,

115
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it's just all career.

116
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That's why it's such
a flaky city.

117
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That's why it's so much
bullshit here.

118
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Everybody's just clawing
and hustling.

119
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Nobody has like the core values.

120
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I want kids,
I want to come home from work

121
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and be like, "I love my job"
and my kids are like,

122
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"Hey, dad, we love you"
and I'm like, "I love you."

123
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:05,948
- You know, right?
- Yeah.

124
00:06:05,981 --> 00:06:06,949
It's simple.

125
00:06:06,982 --> 00:06:08,150
Is that too much to ask?

126
00:06:08,184 --> 00:06:09,885
I'm talking too much, I'm sorry.

127
00:06:09,919 --> 00:06:11,619
No, I'm sorry.

128
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I didn't even ask
what are you doing out here?

129
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Are you teaching yoga?
Everybody's...

130
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Did you not want me to kiss you?

131
00:06:21,898 --> 00:06:23,266
Um.

132
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:24,835
Oh.

133
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Oh my God,
I'm such a fucking idiot.

134
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- I'm so sorry.
- No, it's just

135
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I feel like I gave off...

136
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I gave off the wrong impression.

137
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Um, uh.

138
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No, you just have to know
something about me

139
00:06:35,045 --> 00:06:37,048
- which is that...
- Oh my God.

140
00:06:37,081 --> 00:06:38,816
- You're gay.
- What?

141
00:06:38,850 --> 00:06:42,153
You're gay, your hair
and your shirt and your teeth.

142
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You clearly use
whitening strips.

143
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- Thank you but...
- Oh my God.

144
00:06:44,989 --> 00:06:47,125
I'm such a fucking dipshit.

145
00:06:47,158 --> 00:06:49,827
I was gonna say
that I'm seeing someone.

146
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I'm seeing a girl.

147
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Oh.

148
00:06:57,235 --> 00:06:59,270
You aren't gay?

149
00:06:59,303 --> 00:07:01,240
I thought you were.

150
00:07:01,273 --> 00:07:03,775
I thought you were sleeping,
are you listening to all this?

151
00:07:03,809 --> 00:07:04,877
It's a spectrum, dude.

152
00:07:04,910 --> 00:07:07,980
I think about dicks.

153
00:07:10,048 --> 00:07:11,682
I'm really sorry.

154
00:07:11,716 --> 00:07:13,085
I am still jetlagged

155
00:07:13,118 --> 00:07:14,887
and I haven't had
anything to eat.

156
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,855
- It's fine.
- And I mean, the shots.

157
00:07:16,889 --> 00:07:19,258
- Like, so sorry.
- No, seriously.

158
00:07:19,291 --> 00:07:21,260
Don't feel bad,
it was a lot of fun

159
00:07:21,293 --> 00:07:25,098
and we should do it more often.

160
00:07:25,131 --> 00:07:27,400
Yeah, totally.

161
00:07:27,433 --> 00:07:29,369
Are you sure you feel good
about getting home?

162
00:07:29,402 --> 00:07:31,437
- I will walk you.
- I'm good, I promise.

163
00:07:31,471 --> 00:07:33,705
- I have my mace with me.
- Okay.

164
00:07:33,740 --> 00:07:35,275
- Okay.
- All right.

165
00:07:35,308 --> 00:07:38,178
- Have a good night.
- All right, you too.

166
00:07:38,211 --> 00:07:41,047
Peace.

167
00:08:00,501 --> 00:08:03,137
♪ You said it's easier
the second time around ♪

168
00:08:03,170 --> 00:08:07,174
♪ But that's a lie, sir ♪

169
00:08:07,208 --> 00:08:09,109
♪ You said these girls
couldn't tell ♪

170
00:08:09,143 --> 00:08:11,478
♪ But no one loves a liar ♪

171
00:08:13,982 --> 00:08:15,517
♪ And I've been around
the block ♪

172
00:08:15,550 --> 00:08:18,019
♪ It's empty by the fire ♪

173
00:08:19,554 --> 00:08:24,492
♪ But no one takes me higher ♪

174
00:08:26,261 --> 00:08:32,934
♪ Your loving gets me higher ♪

175
00:08:32,968 --> 00:08:35,003
♪ And I know ♪

176
00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:39,508
♪ You're all I think about ♪

177
00:08:39,542 --> 00:08:41,444
♪ These days ♪

178
00:08:41,477 --> 00:08:46,082
♪ You're all I think about ♪

179
00:08:46,115 --> 00:08:48,217
♪ These days ♪

180
00:08:48,251 --> 00:08:50,519
♪ You're all I think about ♪

181
00:09:09,172 --> 00:09:11,475
♪ Calling Patron,
calling Patron ♪

182
00:09:11,508 --> 00:09:14,578
♪ Calling Patron,
calling Patron ♪

183
00:09:14,611 --> 00:09:18,115
♪ Calling Patron,
I've been drinking ♪

184
00:09:30,094 --> 00:09:31,496
♪ Just like the jackpot
I'm all ♪

185
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:32,964
♪ You'll turned your back
on the wall ♪

186
00:09:32,997 --> 00:09:34,365
♪ I made a bet with the lord ♪

187
00:09:34,399 --> 00:09:35,833
♪ Won't stand for
no rats in my song ♪

188
00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:37,268
♪ I can't move backwards
for ya'll ♪

189
00:09:41,239 --> 00:09:42,940
♪ Have you ever met Miss Lindy ♪

190
00:09:42,974 --> 00:09:45,209
♪ She's the gal with
the bright red hair ♪

191
00:09:45,243 --> 00:09:47,479
♪ Now she stands out
from all the rest ♪

192
00:09:47,513 --> 00:09:49,415
♪ You'd know her anywhere ♪

193
00:09:49,448 --> 00:09:51,517
♪ Well she's mine ♪

194
00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:54,253
♪ Yeah she's mine ♪

195
00:09:54,286 --> 00:09:56,955
Ugh.

196
00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:03,896
Doesn't matter what I do.

197
00:10:03,929 --> 00:10:05,097
Fuck it up.

198
00:10:05,130 --> 00:10:08,867
Every time.

199
00:10:13,406 --> 00:10:17,110
At the end of your message,
press one.

200
00:10:17,143 --> 00:10:19,346
Hi, honey.

201
00:10:19,379 --> 00:10:22,082
Can you call me
when you get this?

202
00:10:22,115 --> 00:10:25,618
I'm gonna need you
to come home now.

203
00:10:31,491 --> 00:10:34,494
I love you very, very much.

204
00:10:43,404 --> 00:10:47,274
Harper?

205
00:10:47,308 --> 00:10:48,542
Oh my God.

206
00:10:48,576 --> 00:10:50,644
- Sorry, I just um...
- What's wrong?

207
00:10:50,678 --> 00:10:52,947
I was working on a scene
for acting class.

208
00:10:52,980 --> 00:10:55,182
I just really got into it,
sorry.

209
00:10:55,216 --> 00:11:00,155
What's your play about?

210
00:11:00,188 --> 00:11:04,593
It's about the bleaching
in the coral reefs.

211
00:11:04,626 --> 00:11:07,062
It's really fucking sad.

212
00:11:07,095 --> 00:11:09,564
Yeah, you're right that is sad.

213
00:11:09,598 --> 00:11:11,366
Think about it, the
temperature's gonna keep rising,

214
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,301
- we're all gonna fucking die.
- Well, you know what?

215
00:11:13,335 --> 00:11:17,973
I have to sleep
for like two more hours.

216
00:11:18,006 --> 00:11:21,710
Mr. Peterson's got another
colonoscopy again.

217
00:11:21,744 --> 00:11:25,548
First one didn't take so, ugh.

218
00:11:25,581 --> 00:11:28,317
So um, just try to keep
your global warming project

219
00:11:28,351 --> 00:11:31,621
like a little down, sh.

220
00:11:31,654 --> 00:11:33,389
Yeah, yeah, sorry.

221
00:11:33,423 --> 00:11:36,359
I save fucking lives, Harper.

222
00:11:36,392 --> 00:11:39,262
It's a real job,
you know what I'm saying?

223
00:11:39,295 --> 00:11:40,663
Oh, that wine looks good.

224
00:11:40,696 --> 00:11:44,467
It looks like something
that I would buy.

225
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:46,302
- Sorry.
- It's my last bottle, so.

226
00:11:46,335 --> 00:11:48,605
Oh.

227
00:11:48,639 --> 00:11:50,340
That's a lot of dishes.

228
00:11:50,374 --> 00:11:52,376
Well, I was gonna clean them up
but you know...

229
00:11:52,409 --> 00:11:53,677
All right, good night, Harper.

230
00:11:53,710 --> 00:11:58,282
Night.

231
00:11:58,315 --> 00:12:02,052
Fucking cunt.

232
00:12:22,373 --> 00:12:24,309
Fuck.

233
00:13:44,292 --> 00:13:48,130
Ugh, man.

234
00:13:48,163 --> 00:13:50,833
That's good batteries.

235
00:14:05,180 --> 00:14:08,818
Come on.

236
00:14:13,924 --> 00:14:16,259
Ugh.

237
00:14:16,292 --> 00:14:17,895
Someone's calling on your phone.

238
00:14:17,928 --> 00:14:19,830
Someone's calling on your phone.

239
00:14:19,863 --> 00:14:21,564
Gotta pick it up,
gotta pick it up.

240
00:14:21,598 --> 00:14:23,433
Someone's calling
on your phone.

241
00:14:23,466 --> 00:14:25,368
Someone's calling on your phone.

242
00:14:25,401 --> 00:14:27,270
Gotta pick it up,
gotta pick it up.

243
00:14:27,303 --> 00:14:31,207
Someone's calling on your phone.

244
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,343
Museum of sodomy
and the dark arts.

245
00:14:33,376 --> 00:14:34,912
Please hold.

246
00:14:34,945 --> 00:14:36,547
So I've been watching
a lot of YouTube clips.

247
00:14:36,580 --> 00:14:38,415
I think I perfected
my Australian accent.

248
00:14:38,449 --> 00:14:41,820
- It's getting so good.
- So good.

249
00:14:41,853 --> 00:14:44,655
Do you know shrimp on a barbie's
a racist term for a dingo?

250
00:14:44,688 --> 00:14:46,690
- No?
- That's just sling

251
00:14:46,724 --> 00:14:49,693
for throwing your pecker
into a kangaroo's pouch.

252
00:14:49,727 --> 00:14:51,495
Hey Harp?

253
00:14:51,528 --> 00:14:53,330
You coming to my show tonight,
right?

254
00:14:53,364 --> 00:14:56,700
- Oh shit, that's tonight?
- My heart.

255
00:14:56,734 --> 00:14:58,903
I told you,
I have to have you be there.

256
00:14:58,937 --> 00:15:00,372
Yeah, I'm just fucking with you.

257
00:15:00,405 --> 00:15:01,606
I'm coming.

258
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:02,607
Okay, cool.

259
00:15:02,641 --> 00:15:04,376
Hey, it's a BYOB.

260
00:15:04,409 --> 00:15:06,711
B your Bs but also,
could you B me a B?

261
00:15:06,746 --> 00:15:08,446
That'd be G.

262
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:09,782
I don't think I'm gonna be
drinking at all

263
00:15:09,815 --> 00:15:11,683
after last night.

264
00:15:11,716 --> 00:15:13,184
Seriously?

265
00:15:18,556 --> 00:15:22,260
- Oh, hello.
- You dick.

266
00:15:22,293 --> 00:15:24,831
It is I, Edward
all of the alcohol

267
00:15:24,865 --> 00:15:26,933
I had left in my cabinets hands.

268
00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,701
Are you the little boy
that lives in the scary house

269
00:15:28,734 --> 00:15:30,937
on top of the hill
at the end of the cul-de-sac?

270
00:15:30,971 --> 00:15:34,640
My father made my heart
from a sugar cookie.

271
00:15:34,674 --> 00:15:38,511
- Come drink with me.
- I don't want to.

272
00:15:38,544 --> 00:15:40,212
But I taped all these things
to my fingers.

273
00:15:40,246 --> 00:15:41,848
You gotta drink with me.

274
00:15:41,882 --> 00:15:45,317
- Ah.
- Okay.

275
00:15:45,351 --> 00:15:47,789
Just stay away
from my water bed.

276
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:51,324
Let's crack these open, huh?

277
00:15:58,265 --> 00:15:59,967
Do you know, I think a had
a bit of a breakthrough

278
00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:01,936
with my project.

279
00:16:01,969 --> 00:16:03,805
The Santa Claus movie or?

280
00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:05,572
That one's on hold right now.

281
00:16:05,605 --> 00:16:08,442
I mean, sure, it shot up
two percent on Kickstarter.

282
00:16:08,475 --> 00:16:09,844
Thanks for donating, by the way.

283
00:16:09,877 --> 00:16:10,945
- Yeah, no problem.
- But I think I'm gonna put that

284
00:16:10,978 --> 00:16:12,714
on hold for a little while.

285
00:16:12,748 --> 00:16:14,582
My pop-up stand up,
the thing for tonight,

286
00:16:14,615 --> 00:16:18,352
I got... I'm gonna attack it from
a slightly different angle.

287
00:16:18,386 --> 00:16:19,988
- I think you're gonna like it.
- Oh, that's awesome.

288
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:21,656
- Yeah, it's gonna be good.
- So you thought about

289
00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:25,794
- like open mics doing that or?
- Nah, no, no, no.

290
00:16:25,828 --> 00:16:27,328
Open mics are dead.

291
00:16:27,361 --> 00:16:28,629
You're not telling jokes
to people.

292
00:16:28,663 --> 00:16:30,298
You're telling jokes
to comedians.

293
00:16:30,331 --> 00:16:31,733
- That's true.
- They're the worst people.

294
00:16:31,767 --> 00:16:32,901
I should know.

295
00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:37,439
Beautiful view.

296
00:16:37,473 --> 00:16:40,576
So you got pretty swasted
at the party last night, huh?

297
00:16:40,609 --> 00:16:42,411
I did get swasted.

298
00:16:42,444 --> 00:16:44,781
Unfortunately,
it was not a party.

299
00:16:44,814 --> 00:16:47,516
- At all, at all.
- So you did like a Home Alone.

300
00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:49,018
You went all Kevin McCallister
on that shit.

301
00:16:49,052 --> 00:16:50,954
- A little bit.
- Oh man.

302
00:16:50,987 --> 00:16:53,288
- Oh, that's never good.
- Not really proud of that.

303
00:16:53,322 --> 00:16:56,793
I tried to make moves
on my cute neighbor.

304
00:16:56,826 --> 00:16:58,727
Mrs. Campbell?
She's like 87 years old.

305
00:16:58,762 --> 00:16:59,897
No, not Mrs. Campbell.

306
00:16:59,930 --> 00:17:01,464
Paul, like super hot Paul.

307
00:17:01,498 --> 00:17:02,933
Oh yeah, gay Paul.

308
00:17:02,967 --> 00:17:05,468
Gay for me probably but yeah.

309
00:17:05,502 --> 00:17:07,337
I mean, I tried
to make it happen.

310
00:17:07,370 --> 00:17:08,773
If I could give you
once piece of advice

311
00:17:08,806 --> 00:17:10,673
it's never hook up
with your neighbors.

312
00:17:10,707 --> 00:17:11,942
It's too embarrassing.

313
00:17:11,976 --> 00:17:13,778
Taking out trash,
you're checking the mail

314
00:17:13,811 --> 00:17:16,080
and you're like, oh,
look at all these coupons, huh?

315
00:17:16,113 --> 00:17:18,481
- Huh? Remember me?
- Woo yeah.

316
00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:20,416
Thanks for trying to put
your dick in me, Paul.

317
00:17:20,450 --> 00:17:21,886
Ew, gross.

318
00:17:21,919 --> 00:17:25,389
Wait, did you have sex
with Paul last night?

319
00:17:25,422 --> 00:17:29,861
No but I wanted to.

320
00:17:29,895 --> 00:17:32,898
Sorry, I got triple taken aback.

321
00:17:32,931 --> 00:17:34,800
- He's cute.
- I just never thought of you

322
00:17:34,833 --> 00:17:36,700
as the like...

323
00:17:36,734 --> 00:17:39,336
fuck a guy kind
of like when you first meet him.

324
00:17:39,370 --> 00:17:40,939
I would so fuck a guy.

325
00:17:40,972 --> 00:17:43,340
- Oh my God.
- Yeah.

326
00:17:44,910 --> 00:17:46,644
Oh hey, what time is it?

327
00:17:46,677 --> 00:17:48,680
Uh, three o'clock.

328
00:17:48,713 --> 00:17:51,716
Oh shit, I gotta go prep.

329
00:17:51,751 --> 00:17:52,985
Imma see you tonight, right?

330
00:17:53,019 --> 00:17:54,053
With bells.

331
00:17:54,086 --> 00:17:57,890
- Bye!
- Bye!

332
00:18:10,770 --> 00:18:13,874
At the end of your message
press one.

333
00:18:13,907 --> 00:18:16,009
Harper Lee, what up!

334
00:18:16,043 --> 00:18:17,510
I think you just got back.

335
00:18:17,543 --> 00:18:18,779
Uh, I don't want to bother you

336
00:18:18,812 --> 00:18:22,015
but I do really need
you right now.

337
00:18:22,049 --> 00:18:23,851
So if you could swing on by,
bring a swimsuit

338
00:18:23,884 --> 00:18:26,787
and we'll hang
like a spa office meeting.

339
00:18:26,820 --> 00:18:28,088
Get here like
as soon as you can.

340
00:18:28,121 --> 00:18:29,923
Bye.

341
00:18:29,957 --> 00:18:31,691
You know, I seriously doubt
my Uber's gonna let me

342
00:18:31,724 --> 00:18:33,426
in the car like this.

343
00:18:40,734 --> 00:18:42,937
Can we uh,
move the meeting on Thursday

344
00:18:42,971 --> 00:18:45,505
cause I have uh, CrossFit now.

345
00:18:45,539 --> 00:18:46,673
I didn't know
you were doing CrossFit.

346
00:18:46,707 --> 00:18:49,911
Yeah, fucking awesome.

347
00:18:49,944 --> 00:18:51,012
Well, I haven't done it yet

348
00:18:51,045 --> 00:18:53,547
but it's just like awesome.

349
00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:54,983
Oh, um, Buchwald emailed

350
00:18:55,016 --> 00:18:56,650
and said that you have a couple
of meetings that day.

351
00:18:56,683 --> 00:18:58,418
Sorry about that,
I forgot to tell yah.

352
00:18:58,452 --> 00:19:01,422
- Seriously? For what?
- One is for an app commercial

353
00:19:01,456 --> 00:19:03,926
and the other
is for a studio pilot.

354
00:19:03,959 --> 00:19:05,426
Yes!

355
00:19:05,460 --> 00:19:06,661
Are you fucking serious?

356
00:19:06,694 --> 00:19:08,596
CBS? NBC? TBS?

357
00:19:08,630 --> 00:19:10,665
It's actually Netflix.

358
00:19:10,698 --> 00:19:12,201
Woo!

359
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:13,969
Streaming.

360
00:19:14,003 --> 00:19:15,603
Fuck.

361
00:19:15,637 --> 00:19:16,939
Streaming's the future.

362
00:19:16,972 --> 00:19:18,506
Booo!

363
00:19:18,539 --> 00:19:20,642
All right, I'll start CrossFit
next week.

364
00:19:20,675 --> 00:19:24,647
Just call Vlad
and just have him reschedule.

365
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:26,883
He's in my phone
as "CrossFit Dude."

366
00:19:26,917 --> 00:19:28,785
Or he may be
in my phone as "Vlad."

367
00:19:28,818 --> 00:19:30,053
Okay.

368
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:32,721
Done and done.

369
00:19:32,756 --> 00:19:34,891
- It's hot.
- Yup, we'll you know.

370
00:19:34,925 --> 00:19:39,162
Its' 95 degrees on a roof
in a hot Jacuzzi.

371
00:19:42,866 --> 00:19:46,202
Glad to have you back, Harper.

372
00:19:46,236 --> 00:19:50,540
Glad to be back.

373
00:19:50,573 --> 00:19:53,844
- Did anything cool?
- Cool?

374
00:19:53,878 --> 00:19:55,679
'Cause I want you to know
you can talk to me.

375
00:19:55,712 --> 00:19:59,716
Like if you ever feel
like you need to talk to me.

376
00:19:59,749 --> 00:20:01,118
Oh yeah, you know, I'm fine.

377
00:20:01,152 --> 00:20:03,054
- Thanks for asking.
- I know like technically

378
00:20:03,087 --> 00:20:09,226
I'm your boss but I want us
to be like close friends.

379
00:20:09,260 --> 00:20:10,761
Really?

380
00:20:10,796 --> 00:20:12,596
Like talk about boys
and have sleepovers

381
00:20:12,630 --> 00:20:14,532
and all that stuff?

382
00:20:14,565 --> 00:20:16,634
Yeah, you serious?

383
00:20:16,667 --> 00:20:17,936
I was schooled like on set.

384
00:20:17,970 --> 00:20:20,604
Never had a sleepover
ever in my life.

385
00:20:20,638 --> 00:20:24,508
Oh, I was kidding.

386
00:20:24,542 --> 00:20:25,978
Sorry.

387
00:20:29,047 --> 00:20:31,016
Dude!

388
00:20:31,049 --> 00:20:32,084
Love it.

389
00:20:32,117 --> 00:20:33,517
That's why I like you.

390
00:20:33,551 --> 00:20:34,988
'Cause you're funny.

391
00:20:35,021 --> 00:20:37,056
It's good to laugh.

392
00:20:37,090 --> 00:20:41,794
Humor heals.

393
00:20:41,828 --> 00:20:44,563
Okay, so I'm just gonna
reschedule that CrossFit...

394
00:20:44,596 --> 00:20:46,565
Yeah, I read statistically
friends talk about sex

395
00:20:46,598 --> 00:20:49,902
like two to three times a day.

396
00:20:49,936 --> 00:20:51,570
- Really?
- Yeah.

397
00:20:51,603 --> 00:20:53,638
Like statistically on average.

398
00:20:53,672 --> 00:20:56,742
Well, that seems
like valuable information.

399
00:20:56,776 --> 00:20:59,213
How's your sex life?

400
00:20:59,246 --> 00:21:01,748
Uh, my sex life?

401
00:21:01,782 --> 00:21:03,716
Come on, I'm like talking
like friends.

402
00:21:03,750 --> 00:21:04,885
We're friends,
friends talk about sex

403
00:21:04,918 --> 00:21:07,121
I just told you that.

404
00:21:07,154 --> 00:21:10,656
Okay, well,
thank you for asking, friend.

405
00:21:10,690 --> 00:21:16,096
But um, there's really not one
to speak of so there's that.

406
00:21:16,130 --> 00:21:18,332
What? Are you serious?

407
00:21:18,365 --> 00:21:21,335
You're like awesome.

408
00:21:21,368 --> 00:21:26,274
Thank you.

409
00:21:26,307 --> 00:21:28,675
My friends have sex with
each other like all the time.

410
00:21:28,709 --> 00:21:31,846
It relieves stress,
if you need me to...

411
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:33,114
Not in like a harassment way.

412
00:21:33,148 --> 00:21:34,215
I'm just talking about like...

413
00:21:34,249 --> 00:21:35,616
Okay, I'm good, thank you.

414
00:21:35,649 --> 00:21:39,220
I'm open if you need it.

415
00:21:41,823 --> 00:21:43,858
The gear?

416
00:21:43,892 --> 00:21:46,829
Um, I'm actually gonna get these
notes started back home, okay?

417
00:21:46,862 --> 00:21:48,364
What? Stay.

418
00:21:48,397 --> 00:21:50,866
I got the NES Classic.
We can play Castlevania.

419
00:21:50,900 --> 00:21:52,902
It's one-player,
you can like watch me play.

420
00:21:52,935 --> 00:21:54,804
I'm sorry, I can't.
Thanks though.

421
00:21:54,837 --> 00:21:56,205
Okay, you can play,
I'll watch you.

422
00:21:56,238 --> 00:21:57,639
No, no, no, I mean,
I really can't.

423
00:21:57,672 --> 00:22:00,242
I have a thing
to go to tonight.

424
00:22:00,276 --> 00:22:02,111
No way, what's this thing?

425
00:22:02,144 --> 00:22:04,246
I have a friend,
he's a comedian.

426
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,048
I fucking love stand-up,
are you serious?

427
00:22:06,082 --> 00:22:08,284
Can I go?

428
00:22:08,317 --> 00:22:10,119
It's not really stand-up
that he does.

429
00:22:10,152 --> 00:22:12,755
- I can't explain it.
- Puppet stuff?

430
00:22:12,789 --> 00:22:14,657
- You like puppets?
- Fucking love puppets.

431
00:22:14,690 --> 00:22:15,724
Jeff Dunham's
like an inspiration...

432
00:22:15,759 --> 00:22:18,361
more than an inspiration.

433
00:22:18,395 --> 00:22:21,298
Can I go?

434
00:22:21,331 --> 00:22:23,333
Sure, I could text you
the information.

435
00:22:23,366 --> 00:22:26,103
Yes, I'm gonna go shit
and shower.

436
00:22:26,136 --> 00:22:27,670
Text me the stuff, dude.

437
00:22:27,703 --> 00:22:29,172
I will be there.

438
00:22:29,206 --> 00:22:32,175
I'll see you there.

439
00:22:37,081 --> 00:22:38,916
- Fuck.
- Hi, I'm Stinko,

440
00:22:38,950 --> 00:22:41,219
the racist sock puppet.

441
00:22:41,252 --> 00:22:45,823
Don't you just want to hear
some stand-up comedy from me?

442
00:22:45,857 --> 00:22:48,692
No, because puppets are stupid.

443
00:22:48,725 --> 00:22:50,094
Is it recording?

444
00:22:50,128 --> 00:22:51,329
Is it good? Yeah we're good?

445
00:22:51,362 --> 00:22:52,430
Okay, so you got it?

446
00:22:52,463 --> 00:22:55,133
Hey! How's it going, I'm Dusty.

447
00:22:55,166 --> 00:22:57,734
You're watching the second
episode of Pop-up Stand-up.

448
00:22:57,768 --> 00:22:59,138
Tonight, we're downtown.

449
00:22:59,171 --> 00:23:01,373
I'm gonna talk to transits
and transvestites.

450
00:23:01,406 --> 00:23:03,775
I lived up in Silver Lake.

451
00:23:03,809 --> 00:23:06,145
There were some raccoons
getting into the trash

452
00:23:06,178 --> 00:23:08,947
and I thought for a second
maybe they were going for food

453
00:23:08,981 --> 00:23:10,249
but I also thought maybe
raccoons

454
00:23:10,282 --> 00:23:13,418
are just trying to steal
our identities.

455
00:23:13,452 --> 00:23:15,921
Maybe that's what's happening.

456
00:23:15,954 --> 00:23:17,156
Hey, fuck you, man.

457
00:23:17,189 --> 00:23:18,824
Not cool, yeah.

458
00:23:18,857 --> 00:23:20,092
We're live,
we're doing this live.

459
00:23:20,125 --> 00:23:21,793
You're hilarious, man.

460
00:23:21,827 --> 00:23:23,129
This guy likes it, I love it.

461
00:23:23,163 --> 00:23:25,798
Fucking hilarious, blahh.

462
00:23:25,832 --> 00:23:27,733
I didn't really write
any new material for this.

463
00:23:27,767 --> 00:23:30,170
Ugh, ugh.

464
00:23:30,203 --> 00:23:33,039
Ugh.

465
00:23:33,072 --> 00:23:36,075
Sometimes I'll be like...

466
00:23:36,109 --> 00:23:38,744
and then you hold.

467
00:23:38,778 --> 00:23:40,313
And then you start going again.

468
00:23:40,346 --> 00:23:41,848
And then you start going again.

469
00:23:41,881 --> 00:23:43,249
That's one of
the best things possible.

470
00:23:43,283 --> 00:23:44,317
We going anywhere else?

471
00:23:44,350 --> 00:23:45,485
We're gonna go down subways.

472
00:23:45,518 --> 00:23:47,087
We're gonna go into ramen shops.

473
00:23:47,121 --> 00:23:49,356
We're gonna make a lot
of people mad at me.

474
00:23:49,390 --> 00:23:51,225
- So you're a tailor?
- Yes.

475
00:23:51,258 --> 00:23:53,027
Yeah, what do you tail?

476
00:23:56,163 --> 00:23:59,200
You want to try
to guess his inseam?

477
00:23:59,233 --> 00:24:01,835
- Yes.
- That's all right, man.

478
00:24:01,869 --> 00:24:04,371
You can't do anything without
an app, you know what I mean.

479
00:24:04,405 --> 00:24:06,840
'Cause when I was a kid
you would go outside and play.

480
00:24:06,874 --> 00:24:09,109
That's just what we did,
we'd go outside.

481
00:24:09,143 --> 00:24:11,947
I would run through the woods,
I'd hang out in a cul-de-sac.

482
00:24:11,980 --> 00:24:14,783
- Excuse me, you can't be here.
- Cool man, nice to meet you.

483
00:24:14,816 --> 00:24:16,318
Look, I'm just gonna finish
this up...

484
00:24:16,351 --> 00:24:18,119
Listen, you can't be here.
You have no permit.

485
00:24:18,153 --> 00:24:19,921
No, I got a permit,
I got a permit.

486
00:24:19,955 --> 00:24:23,058
It's uh, could you read that
and tell me what it says please?

487
00:24:23,091 --> 00:24:25,427
It says admit one. I'm the one.

488
00:24:25,460 --> 00:24:27,495
Let me call George real quick.

489
00:24:27,529 --> 00:24:30,332
Hey, isn't it fun to do live TV.

490
00:24:30,365 --> 00:24:32,133
Hey, aren't you famous?

491
00:24:32,167 --> 00:24:33,168
Yeah, dude, what's up, man?

492
00:24:33,201 --> 00:24:34,837
Hey, how you been?

493
00:24:34,870 --> 00:24:37,006
- Can I get a picture with you?
- Yeah.

494
00:24:37,039 --> 00:24:41,444
- Thank you.
- I'm on a live stream!

495
00:24:41,477 --> 00:24:43,779
Hey, Greg, right on!

496
00:24:43,813 --> 00:24:45,348
- Thank you, I appreciate it.
- No problem, no problem.

497
00:24:45,381 --> 00:24:47,883
- Can he keep telling jokes...
- No, no, no.

498
00:24:47,917 --> 00:24:49,952
You can stay, he can't.

499
00:24:49,986 --> 00:24:51,921
We'll get out of here.

500
00:24:51,954 --> 00:24:53,322
I'm just gonna finish
this joke then we're out.

501
00:24:53,356 --> 00:24:54,824
Cool, thanks man.
Have a good one.

502
00:24:54,857 --> 00:24:56,259
He can stay, you can't,
sorry about that.

503
00:24:56,292 --> 00:24:57,893
That's very rude.

504
00:24:57,927 --> 00:25:00,297
That was fun,
how many people we up to now?

505
00:25:00,330 --> 00:25:01,999
Nine.

506
00:25:02,032 --> 00:25:04,568
Uh, let's keep riffing.

507
00:25:04,601 --> 00:25:07,871
Okay!

508
00:25:07,904 --> 00:25:09,039
Happy hour place!

509
00:25:09,072 --> 00:25:11,141
It's an Asian fusion
which is good.

510
00:25:11,174 --> 00:25:12,576
- I like it...
- Oh, god!

511
00:25:12,609 --> 00:25:14,077
Are you okay? Are you okay?

512
00:25:14,111 --> 00:25:16,880
Are you okay?
Are you okay, Dusty?

513
00:25:39,203 --> 00:25:41,439
- I think you broke it.
- No, no, I didn't.

514
00:25:41,472 --> 00:25:43,441
- No, you broke it.
- No, I really did not.

515
00:25:43,474 --> 00:25:45,343
- I think you did a great job.
- Thank you so much.

516
00:25:45,376 --> 00:25:48,147
Looks like you took a shell
off of a turtle's back

517
00:25:48,180 --> 00:25:50,316
and then put duct tape on it
and you're wearing it.

518
00:25:50,349 --> 00:25:52,918
I want to watch you...
Oh, he's taking it off.

519
00:25:52,951 --> 00:25:58,324
- He's taking it off.
- I do this for a night.

520
00:25:58,357 --> 00:26:00,859
I do about two hours
of running around

521
00:26:00,893 --> 00:26:04,530
and by the end I have about
maybe 30 seconds of jokes

522
00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:06,865
I want to revisit again
at another adventure.

523
00:26:06,899 --> 00:26:08,467
I've seen an heirloom tomato.

524
00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:11,471
I've seen a woman's genitals
and there's a connection there.

525
00:26:11,504 --> 00:26:14,174
I don't know what the joke is
yet but it's there.

526
00:26:14,207 --> 00:26:17,610
But it's like beautiful
and still tastes delicious.

527
00:26:17,644 --> 00:26:19,279
Ugh.

528
00:26:19,312 --> 00:26:22,048
- You're funny.
- Thank you so much.

529
00:26:22,082 --> 00:26:23,216
- Should we go?
- I think we should go.

530
00:26:23,249 --> 00:26:25,185
Let's just leave him.

531
00:26:25,218 --> 00:26:30,423
- Bye.
- Bye.

532
00:26:37,932 --> 00:26:39,100
My ex-girlfriend
used to always say

533
00:26:39,133 --> 00:26:41,369
that she'd see shooting stars.

534
00:26:41,402 --> 00:26:45,439
I felt like she just didn't know
what planes look like.

535
00:26:48,376 --> 00:26:50,244
Dude, you gotta stop slaying me.

536
00:26:50,277 --> 00:26:51,412
Yeah this place is incredible.

537
00:26:51,445 --> 00:26:53,247
This is your place?

538
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:57,017
Um, yeah, it's mine.

539
00:26:57,051 --> 00:26:58,520
Oh my God, Dusty,
check this shit out.

540
00:26:58,553 --> 00:27:01,356
Somebody just said,
"This is the greatest livestream

541
00:27:01,390 --> 00:27:02,357
I've ever seen.

542
00:27:02,391 --> 00:27:03,959
Hands down, period."

543
00:27:03,992 --> 00:27:05,394
Well, that's rad.

544
00:27:05,427 --> 00:27:07,229
"Hands down, period."

545
00:27:07,262 --> 00:27:08,997
- Hello!
- Who said that?

546
00:27:09,030 --> 00:27:15,036
- Uh, Sarcastic Panda 27.
- Awesome.

547
00:27:15,070 --> 00:27:17,172
Oh and your mom
says you're cute.

548
00:27:17,205 --> 00:27:18,206
- Yup.
- Do you understand

549
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:19,241
how good that was?

550
00:27:19,274 --> 00:27:21,042
Like literally bing!

551
00:27:21,076 --> 00:27:22,344
And from the boom!

552
00:27:22,378 --> 00:27:24,313
It was super amazing.

553
00:27:24,347 --> 00:27:25,948
Right? This energy...

554
00:27:28,184 --> 00:27:29,552
Sorcerer man.

555
00:27:29,585 --> 00:27:31,087
He stays up there.

556
00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:33,055
La boom!

557
00:27:33,089 --> 00:27:34,290
With all love,
you know what I mean?

558
00:27:34,323 --> 00:27:36,426
- That's intense.
- Delicious, yeah.

559
00:27:36,459 --> 00:27:38,394
Harper here has been talking
about this all the time.

560
00:27:38,428 --> 00:27:40,463
Like the sorcerer stuff
and the love.

561
00:27:40,496 --> 00:27:42,965
- Yeah.
- So what is uh, sorry.

562
00:27:42,999 --> 00:27:45,034
What is this dynamic?

563
00:27:45,067 --> 00:27:46,570
Oh, like how we know each other?

564
00:27:46,603 --> 00:27:48,372
I'm her boss, right.

565
00:27:48,405 --> 00:27:50,340
Right, I'm his assistant, yeah.

566
00:27:50,374 --> 00:27:52,209
I just had assumed
that you knew that I assist

567
00:27:52,242 --> 00:27:56,180
Kyle Fairchild
from Greg's Room on ABC.

568
00:27:56,213 --> 00:27:58,248
ABC Family, hit show.

569
00:27:58,282 --> 00:28:00,050
Greg's Room. Yeah, of course.

570
00:28:00,083 --> 00:28:01,218
It's all right,
you don't have to lie.

571
00:28:01,251 --> 00:28:02,486
It's a shitty show.

572
00:28:02,519 --> 00:28:04,688
No, it's... it's pretty good, man.

573
00:28:04,721 --> 00:28:07,458
You got a TV gig,
it's billboards everywhere.

574
00:28:07,491 --> 00:28:11,029
It gets me like all this
but sometimes it's like...

575
00:28:11,062 --> 00:28:13,131
What's in here?

576
00:28:13,164 --> 00:28:15,467
You know what I mean?

577
00:28:15,500 --> 00:28:17,569
I mean, it's like
I don't know sometimes.

578
00:28:17,602 --> 00:28:19,471
- But I feel good.
- Cool man, no,

579
00:28:19,504 --> 00:28:20,738
thanks for letting me
up here though.

580
00:28:20,772 --> 00:28:22,240
This has been a cool night.

581
00:28:22,273 --> 00:28:25,443
My friend reps comics.

582
00:28:25,477 --> 00:28:27,145
So you know what you need to do?

583
00:28:27,178 --> 00:28:30,014
- Uh?
- You gotta get me that info.

584
00:28:30,048 --> 00:28:32,383
I need you to send me right...

585
00:28:32,417 --> 00:28:35,254
headshot, FB, Instagram,
you on Twitter?

586
00:28:35,287 --> 00:28:36,722
- Get me your Twitter.
- Cool yeah, I can send you

587
00:28:36,755 --> 00:28:37,924
my website
and all sorts of stuff.

588
00:28:37,958 --> 00:28:40,593
Yeah, send it to Harper
and she'll like give it to me.

589
00:28:40,626 --> 00:28:43,195
- Yeah, I mean.
- Cool. Hi, I'm Dusty.

590
00:28:43,229 --> 00:28:45,030
Let's be friends.

591
00:28:45,064 --> 00:28:47,500
This isn't a gift, this is
just my friendship for you.

592
00:28:47,533 --> 00:28:51,203
And this is a gift, okay.

593
00:28:51,237 --> 00:28:52,571
Hold on, look at this.

594
00:28:52,605 --> 00:28:55,074
Boom, boom, boom.

595
00:28:55,107 --> 00:28:56,709
Boom.

596
00:28:56,742 --> 00:28:59,579
Wha-wha-wha-woah.

597
00:28:59,613 --> 00:29:02,082
Yeah!

598
00:29:02,115 --> 00:29:05,085
Sparkling, uh, grape juice.

599
00:29:05,118 --> 00:29:07,354
Cool, I'm not usually
like a sweets guy.

600
00:29:07,387 --> 00:29:10,690
Yeah, I mean yeah,
I'm spiking it with whiskey.

601
00:29:10,724 --> 00:29:12,392
Fucking awesome.

602
00:29:12,425 --> 00:29:15,762
This is called
the whiskey sandwich.

603
00:29:15,796 --> 00:29:17,597
It's a play on a PB and J?

604
00:29:17,631 --> 00:29:19,800
- Yeah.
- Okay, that kind of makes sense

605
00:29:19,834 --> 00:29:23,805
- I guess.
- To a wonderful, new friendship.

606
00:29:23,839 --> 00:29:25,139
I'm cool with that.

607
00:29:25,172 --> 00:29:26,374
New found friendship.

608
00:29:26,407 --> 00:29:29,210
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

609
00:29:31,813 --> 00:29:34,382
That's actually... that's actually
really good.

610
00:29:34,415 --> 00:29:36,350
- Whiskey sandwich.
- That's actually really good.

611
00:29:36,384 --> 00:29:38,119
There's a party tonight.

612
00:29:38,152 --> 00:29:40,655
Right here, downtown, like
right under that green building.

613
00:29:40,688 --> 00:29:47,195
It's at this like
art space/hair salon.

614
00:29:47,229 --> 00:29:49,164
Actually, it's like a loft

615
00:29:49,197 --> 00:29:51,300
with cool art in it

616
00:29:51,333 --> 00:29:52,367
and you can get your haircut

617
00:29:52,401 --> 00:29:53,435
for like 300 bucks.

618
00:29:53,468 --> 00:29:55,370
Oh wow, what a deal.

619
00:29:55,404 --> 00:29:58,875
Fucking party with me, dude!

620
00:29:58,908 --> 00:30:00,642
- You're coming!
- I'm probably just gonna

621
00:30:00,676 --> 00:30:02,744
- head home honestly.
- Dude what?

622
00:30:02,779 --> 00:30:04,246
We're gonna have alcohol.

623
00:30:04,279 --> 00:30:06,348
I will literally buy you
a haircut for this.

624
00:30:06,381 --> 00:30:09,384
- There's gonna be weed.
- I mean, I'm down to party.

625
00:30:09,418 --> 00:30:12,655
- Okay, I'll get the Uber.
- Who's in?

626
00:30:12,689 --> 00:30:16,359
I'm legitimately nervous.

627
00:30:16,392 --> 00:30:17,460
♪ The scene is getting crowded ♪

628
00:30:17,493 --> 00:30:19,462
♪ Imma ride my own wave ♪

629
00:30:19,495 --> 00:30:22,665
♪ I don't need your approval
imma go my own way ♪

630
00:30:22,699 --> 00:30:25,803
♪ My daddy told me to be
first and finish last place ♪

631
00:30:25,836 --> 00:30:30,173
♪ The world show me one
way imma go my own ♪

632
00:30:32,308 --> 00:30:36,513
Can I get anymore... Dude,
do you have any limes in there?

633
00:30:44,655 --> 00:30:46,825
I think I'm gonna get just
a little bit off the top.

634
00:30:46,858 --> 00:30:50,327
Should I go Flock Of Seagulls
or Michael McDonald?

635
00:30:50,361 --> 00:30:51,495
Dude, I gotta start
going to these

636
00:30:51,528 --> 00:30:54,866
art/haircut places more often.

637
00:30:54,899 --> 00:30:55,900
♪ You know what that means ♪

638
00:30:55,934 --> 00:30:57,836
♪ Your team is taking
more L's than the DNC ♪

639
00:30:57,869 --> 00:31:00,338
I'm doing this just to get
the hairs on the inside

640
00:31:00,372 --> 00:31:01,439
to piece together.

641
00:31:01,473 --> 00:31:03,843
The only parts I'll smoosh
in are on the sides.

642
00:31:03,876 --> 00:31:05,610
Because those sides
are always poofed up.

643
00:31:05,644 --> 00:31:07,579
- I love it!
- Just to get the hairs

644
00:31:07,612 --> 00:31:10,682
on the inside to piece together
not to just gel it down.

645
00:31:10,715 --> 00:31:12,852
I'm on uh, Bitcoin Cash.

646
00:31:12,885 --> 00:31:15,855
I blow dry my hair and now
it looks like thick as fuck.

647
00:31:15,888 --> 00:31:17,455
But if you don't, of course,

648
00:31:17,489 --> 00:31:18,924
I can tame it down if I want

649
00:31:18,958 --> 00:31:20,458
just because of the blow dryer.

650
00:31:20,492 --> 00:31:23,930
Or we can go back
to Dragon Ball Z.

651
00:31:23,964 --> 00:31:25,564
Time out real quick.

652
00:31:25,598 --> 00:31:28,334
I'm fucking high.

653
00:31:28,367 --> 00:31:30,302
♪ I'm so high right now ♪

654
00:31:30,336 --> 00:31:32,939
♪ The smell of success
got me so lean right now ♪

655
00:31:32,973 --> 00:31:34,774
♪ Tracks upon tracks ♪

656
00:31:34,808 --> 00:31:36,442
♪ I got them stacked up now ♪

657
00:31:36,475 --> 00:31:37,777
♪ I try to try tell them
know their role ♪

658
00:31:37,811 --> 00:31:38,912
♪ They want to act up now ♪

659
00:31:38,945 --> 00:31:41,480
Sick, sick, perfect.

660
00:31:55,729 --> 00:31:57,731
Okay.

661
00:32:03,336 --> 00:32:07,741
♪ And the water stream
will guide you home ♪

662
00:32:07,774 --> 00:32:10,311
♪ Baby salmon ♪

663
00:32:10,344 --> 00:32:15,818
♪ Yeah the water stream
will guide you home ♪

664
00:32:15,851 --> 00:32:17,953
♪ Baby salmon ♪

665
00:32:17,986 --> 00:32:24,492
♪ Yeah the water stream
will guide you home ♪

666
00:32:24,525 --> 00:32:27,462
♪ Baby salmon ♪

667
00:32:27,495 --> 00:32:31,867
♪ The water stream will guide ♪

668
00:32:31,900 --> 00:32:35,637
♪ The water stream will guide ♪

669
00:32:35,671 --> 00:32:40,709
♪ That salty stream will guide ♪

670
00:32:40,743 --> 00:32:46,648
♪ You home ♪

671
00:32:46,682 --> 00:32:52,454
♪ Home ♪

672
00:32:52,488 --> 00:32:55,758
Anyway, that's from
the remix stuff.

673
00:32:55,792 --> 00:32:56,993
Yeah my friend Charlie
wrote the music

674
00:32:57,026 --> 00:32:59,897
and I did like everything else.

675
00:32:59,930 --> 00:33:01,799
- Sounds sick, dude.
- Thanks for listening

676
00:33:01,832 --> 00:33:04,667
- to Salty Stream.
- The salmon, uh,

677
00:33:04,701 --> 00:33:05,870
they stream upstream though,
yeah?

678
00:33:05,903 --> 00:33:08,038
Yeah, sure do.

679
00:33:08,072 --> 00:33:10,373
How could the water guide
them home

680
00:33:10,406 --> 00:33:12,742
if it's literally
just pushing them back?

681
00:33:12,776 --> 00:33:14,744
They swim in fresh water.

682
00:33:14,778 --> 00:33:18,615
- It's more of a metaphor.
- Yeah, I liked it.

683
00:33:18,648 --> 00:33:20,350
Good insight I see, thank you.

684
00:33:20,383 --> 00:33:21,684
- And they're adults.
- Looks like you need

685
00:33:21,718 --> 00:33:23,054
a little refresher
on your cocktail.

686
00:33:23,088 --> 00:33:24,488
Can I get you a Moscow mule?

687
00:33:24,522 --> 00:33:25,924
I love Moscow mules.

688
00:33:25,957 --> 00:33:27,591
Well, okay.

689
00:33:27,625 --> 00:33:28,960
See if we got any fresh...

690
00:33:28,994 --> 00:33:31,462
Oy, you got some limes?

691
00:33:31,495 --> 00:33:34,331
Fresh limers?

692
00:33:34,365 --> 00:33:35,566
Limers.

693
00:33:35,599 --> 00:33:37,334
He got the part
that water's wet.

694
00:33:40,704 --> 00:33:42,473
He's so good.

695
00:33:42,506 --> 00:33:43,909
Hey, thanks for coming
to my show tonight.

696
00:33:43,942 --> 00:33:45,576
- Seriously, that was huge.
- Yeah, of course.

697
00:33:45,609 --> 00:33:47,512
I wouldn't miss it
for the world.

698
00:33:47,546 --> 00:33:48,647
It's really nice to know
that there's someone

699
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:50,448
in this town who has my back.

700
00:33:50,482 --> 00:33:51,918
It can be kind of a selfish,
soulless place.

701
00:33:51,951 --> 00:33:53,585
I'm not sure if you knew that.

702
00:33:53,618 --> 00:33:54,987
You know I invited
like 30 people

703
00:33:55,021 --> 00:33:57,589
to come help out with the show?
No one showed up.

704
00:33:57,622 --> 00:33:59,491
You're the only person
that showed up.

705
00:33:59,524 --> 00:34:00,725
- Really?
- Yeah.

706
00:34:00,759 --> 00:34:02,128
Pf, their loss.

707
00:34:02,161 --> 00:34:03,628
I can't even tell you
how many times

708
00:34:03,662 --> 00:34:05,031
I go and see one-man shows.

709
00:34:05,064 --> 00:34:06,966
I can't even get one person
to help me out.

710
00:34:06,999 --> 00:34:09,601
I get it, you know, people
have their own shit going on.

711
00:34:09,634 --> 00:34:12,105
For a city just full of artists,

712
00:34:12,139 --> 00:34:13,907
you'd think that people would
be more supportive

713
00:34:13,941 --> 00:34:15,675
of each other's projects
and endeavors.

714
00:34:15,708 --> 00:34:16,944
Should be the exact opposite
of that.

715
00:34:16,977 --> 00:34:19,612
We need to come together
and be a community.

716
00:34:19,645 --> 00:34:22,582
Alone, we can illuminate
the light within ourselves

717
00:34:22,615 --> 00:34:24,985
to cultivate art
that is self examined,

718
00:34:25,018 --> 00:34:28,387
curious, new, and original,
but together

719
00:34:28,421 --> 00:34:30,958
we can illuminate
the light in the universe

720
00:34:30,991 --> 00:34:33,060
to create art that is cognizant,

721
00:34:33,093 --> 00:34:35,395
aggressive and powerful.

722
00:34:35,429 --> 00:34:37,731
Squares in a cosmic
Rubik's Cube.

723
00:34:37,764 --> 00:34:41,936
We're just different shapes
of selfish ambition.

724
00:34:41,970 --> 00:34:45,706
Twisted and lost, incomplete.

725
00:34:45,739 --> 00:34:47,075
But if we work together,

726
00:34:47,108 --> 00:34:51,045
if we truly work together

727
00:34:51,079 --> 00:34:52,947
we are a star.

728
00:34:59,454 --> 00:35:01,056
Are you a God?

729
00:35:04,726 --> 00:35:07,029
No, my name is Marcus

730
00:35:07,062 --> 00:35:12,767
but my people call me Truth.

731
00:35:12,801 --> 00:35:15,603
Ya'll should come check out
my poetry slam next week.

732
00:35:15,637 --> 00:35:18,040
I don't rhyme, I keeps it real.

733
00:35:18,073 --> 00:35:19,108
So you like the X-Files?

734
00:35:19,141 --> 00:35:20,809
Hells yah, man.

735
00:35:20,843 --> 00:35:24,747
Scully is the OG
of the alien finding business.

736
00:35:24,780 --> 00:35:26,482
The bitch had... what was it?

737
00:35:26,515 --> 00:35:29,019
Section 54 Arizona,
whatever that shit is called.

738
00:35:29,052 --> 00:35:30,921
- Area 51.
- Can you give me my card back?

739
00:35:30,954 --> 00:35:32,688
- Oh, yeah, sorry.
- Yeah, I gotta use this

740
00:35:32,721 --> 00:35:35,491
for other parties but you
remember the Instagram info,

741
00:35:35,524 --> 00:35:36,826
- right?
- Right, yeah.

742
00:35:36,860 --> 00:35:38,694
Cool, keep creating.

743
00:35:38,727 --> 00:35:42,731
Okay, bye.

744
00:35:42,765 --> 00:35:44,533
Is it bad after the whole spiel

745
00:35:44,566 --> 00:35:49,606
if we don't go
to Marcus' poetry slam?

746
00:35:49,639 --> 00:35:50,875
Can I ask you a question?

747
00:35:50,908 --> 00:35:53,244
Is it about the universe?

748
00:35:53,277 --> 00:35:55,146
Oo.

749
00:35:55,179 --> 00:35:58,249
No.

750
00:35:58,282 --> 00:36:00,717
Do you think I have a chance?

751
00:36:00,750 --> 00:36:02,019
Any chance at all?

752
00:36:02,053 --> 00:36:03,988
What do you mean?
Like with comedy?

753
00:36:04,021 --> 00:36:07,757
No, to get laid
at this fucking party tonight.

754
00:36:07,791 --> 00:36:12,064
Seriously dude,
I think you're one of the most

755
00:36:12,097 --> 00:36:15,067
funny, inventive artists

756
00:36:15,100 --> 00:36:17,035
I've ever had the pleasure
of knowing.

757
00:36:17,069 --> 00:36:20,973
I think... I think
you can hit it big.

758
00:36:21,006 --> 00:36:25,077
- Thanks Harper.
- You're welcome.

759
00:36:25,110 --> 00:36:27,079
Fucking love you, dude.

760
00:36:27,112 --> 00:36:32,017
I fucking love you too, bro.

761
00:36:32,050 --> 00:36:34,053
Hey, do you wanna get fucking
stupid at this party

762
00:36:34,087 --> 00:36:36,122
then go eat some super late
night Mexican food?

763
00:36:36,155 --> 00:36:38,257
- Oh, fuck yeah.
- Cool, help me up.

764
00:36:38,291 --> 00:36:40,059
All right, oh my god.

765
00:36:40,093 --> 00:36:41,861
No, push your foot
off of my foot.

766
00:36:41,894 --> 00:36:44,864
- Find the fulcrum.
- Oh my god.

767
00:36:44,897 --> 00:36:46,866
- I can't do it.
- You ever had a Moscow mule

768
00:36:46,899 --> 00:36:48,667
made by a TV star before?

769
00:36:48,700 --> 00:36:51,971
- Yeah.
- Really?

770
00:36:52,005 --> 00:36:54,140
♪ If I take you down would
you really hold me down ♪

771
00:36:54,173 --> 00:36:57,845
♪ I'll be your best friend ♪

772
00:36:57,878 --> 00:36:59,880
♪ She just wanna hit me
with a quickie ♪

773
00:36:59,913 --> 00:37:02,082
♪ By the bullet
and I'm like yes ma'am ♪

774
00:37:04,351 --> 00:37:06,186
♪ The way you got me fiending
for your body ♪

775
00:37:06,220 --> 00:37:09,289
♪ You might turn me
to a yes man ♪

776
00:37:09,323 --> 00:37:10,623
♪ Oh yeah ♪

777
00:37:10,656 --> 00:37:11,892
♪ 80 in a 40 ♪

778
00:37:11,925 --> 00:37:12,860
♪ I'm on nerve ♪

779
00:37:12,893 --> 00:37:14,727
♪ Bitch I'm flyer
than your ex man ♪

780
00:37:14,761 --> 00:37:17,264
♪ Keyes, Keyes, Keyes
Keyes on Van Nuys ♪

781
00:37:17,297 --> 00:37:18,664
♪ Keyes, Keyes, Keyes ♪

782
00:37:18,698 --> 00:37:21,836
♪ Keyes on Keyes on Van Nuys ♪

783
00:37:21,870 --> 00:37:24,738
Hey, Harper.

784
00:37:24,772 --> 00:37:26,875
Oh hey, Paul.

785
00:37:26,908 --> 00:37:29,144
What are you up to?

786
00:37:29,177 --> 00:37:31,212
Just walking to my apartment.

787
00:37:31,246 --> 00:37:35,582
Oh, cool.

788
00:37:37,751 --> 00:37:39,586
Is everything okay?

789
00:37:39,620 --> 00:37:41,890
Yeah uh...

790
00:37:41,923 --> 00:37:45,326
I'm just, uh, I'm tired.

791
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,297
Okay, just gonna keep walking
to my apartment.

792
00:37:48,330 --> 00:37:50,698
Yeah.

793
00:37:50,732 --> 00:37:55,905
Jenn broke up with me.

794
00:37:55,938 --> 00:37:57,173
Yeah.

795
00:37:57,206 --> 00:38:00,976
Wow, sorry.

796
00:38:01,010 --> 00:38:03,946
I've just been kind of
a wreck in there

797
00:38:03,979 --> 00:38:06,614
and then uh,
I watched that movie

798
00:38:06,648 --> 00:38:09,351
My Dog Skip.

799
00:38:09,385 --> 00:38:12,022
- Why did I do that?
- It's brutal.

800
00:38:12,055 --> 00:38:14,091
The first half of the movie,
you know, it's so happy

801
00:38:14,124 --> 00:38:16,026
and then the second half is...

802
00:38:16,059 --> 00:38:17,360
Shits all over your heart.

803
00:38:17,394 --> 00:38:23,867
It totally shits on your heart.

804
00:38:23,900 --> 00:38:25,802
So you like need somebody
to talk to?

805
00:38:25,836 --> 00:38:27,037
Oh my god, yes,
that would be so great.

806
00:38:27,070 --> 00:38:28,972
I have beer, I've got wine.

807
00:38:29,005 --> 00:38:31,975
The little bottles,
the Sutter Home ones.

808
00:38:32,008 --> 00:38:35,179
Jenn, uh,
she loved those bottles.

809
00:38:35,213 --> 00:38:38,715
- Paul?
- Yeah?

810
00:38:41,751 --> 00:38:43,187
Oh, god, I'm sorry.

811
00:38:43,221 --> 00:38:45,289
No pants, hold on sorry.

812
00:38:45,323 --> 00:38:50,261
Sorry.

813
00:38:50,294 --> 00:38:52,864
That is so embarrassing.

814
00:38:52,897 --> 00:38:54,298
I'm embarrassed.

815
00:38:54,332 --> 00:38:56,234
It happens all the time
I'm sure.

816
00:38:56,267 --> 00:38:58,103
I think to walk around
my apartment naked

817
00:38:58,137 --> 00:38:59,770
when I'm alone.

818
00:38:59,805 --> 00:39:01,273
I don't know,
the bottle half off

819
00:39:01,306 --> 00:39:02,673
it's like there's
a little breeze.

820
00:39:02,707 --> 00:39:03,876
I don't know, I don't know.

821
00:39:03,909 --> 00:39:05,410
It's weird, right?

822
00:39:05,444 --> 00:39:07,112
No, it's nice.

823
00:39:07,146 --> 00:39:11,984
Maybe I can help you
with the top half?

824
00:39:27,766 --> 00:39:32,372
This is not at all
what I expected to happen.

825
00:39:32,405 --> 00:39:35,275
,
it's a one night thing?

826
00:39:35,308 --> 00:39:36,843
This can be something, is this...

827
00:39:36,876 --> 00:39:38,478
Okay, shut the fuck up, Paul.

828
00:39:45,351 --> 00:39:49,423
Man, I haven't stopped drinking
since the flight home.

829
00:39:49,456 --> 00:39:53,227
Really?

830
00:39:53,260 --> 00:39:55,129
Kick ass, man.

831
00:39:55,162 --> 00:39:58,199
I think I'm an alcoholic though.

832
00:39:58,232 --> 00:40:00,401
You are not an alcoholic.

833
00:40:00,434 --> 00:40:02,436
I mean, how do you know?

834
00:40:02,469 --> 00:40:04,471
Because my brother
is an alcoholic

835
00:40:04,505 --> 00:40:05,738
and I know what one looks like

836
00:40:05,772 --> 00:40:10,345
and you, my friend, are not one.

837
00:40:10,378 --> 00:40:13,048
I'm drinking shitty wine at 3AM.

838
00:40:13,081 --> 00:40:16,284
I just drunk fucked my neighbor.

839
00:40:16,318 --> 00:40:19,154
How could I not be one?

840
00:40:19,187 --> 00:40:21,489
Okay, do you wake up
craving alcohol?

841
00:40:21,523 --> 00:40:23,024
Do you need alcohol
to physically function

842
00:40:23,058 --> 00:40:24,092
- during the day?
- No.

843
00:40:24,125 --> 00:40:26,027
Then you're not an alcoholic.

844
00:40:26,061 --> 00:40:27,462
Yeah, you have
a drinking problem.

845
00:40:27,495 --> 00:40:30,131
A lot of people who drink do.

846
00:40:30,165 --> 00:40:32,968
Okay, so what's the difference,
Dr. Phil?

847
00:40:33,001 --> 00:40:35,504
People that use alcohol
to numb pain in their lives

848
00:40:35,538 --> 00:40:37,106
have a drinking problem
and some of those people

849
00:40:37,139 --> 00:40:39,141
never solve those problems.

850
00:40:39,175 --> 00:40:41,377
Those people
will become alcoholics.

851
00:40:41,410 --> 00:40:42,478
Can you pass me another one?

852
00:40:42,511 --> 00:40:45,514
- Yeah.
- Thank you.

853
00:40:45,548 --> 00:40:48,484
Here you go.

854
00:40:48,517 --> 00:40:50,820
Did you learn this at like
an AA meeting or something?

855
00:40:50,853 --> 00:40:53,356
No, I read it on a menu.

856
00:40:53,389 --> 00:40:59,296
It's where I get all
of my definitive information.

857
00:40:59,329 --> 00:41:02,866
How you feeling, by the way?

858
00:41:02,899 --> 00:41:06,303
Oh, um, I came, thanks.

859
00:41:06,336 --> 00:41:09,940
That's not what I meant,
I meant with like, you know,

860
00:41:09,973 --> 00:41:12,809
your family stuff.

861
00:41:12,843 --> 00:41:15,812
How are you?

862
00:41:15,846 --> 00:41:17,948
I'm fine, it's fine.

863
00:41:17,981 --> 00:41:19,983
I wasn't trying
to overstep any boundaries.

864
00:41:20,017 --> 00:41:21,819
No, it's okay.

865
00:41:21,853 --> 00:41:23,221
If you want to talk
about anything I'm... I'm

866
00:41:23,254 --> 00:41:26,491
- you know, I'm here.
- Okay, yeah.

867
00:41:26,524 --> 00:41:30,895
Okay.

868
00:41:30,928 --> 00:41:33,564
Hey, it's not gonna get
like weird, right?

869
00:41:33,598 --> 00:41:35,033
No, I don't think it
was gonna get weird

870
00:41:35,066 --> 00:41:37,235
until like a little bit later.

871
00:41:37,268 --> 00:41:39,237
Like a wedding chapel
or something.

872
00:41:39,270 --> 00:41:41,839
Well, my parents are expecting
a child soon... a boy preferably.

873
00:41:41,873 --> 00:41:43,608
So if you want to get on that
sexual position research

874
00:41:43,641 --> 00:41:45,978
- that would be fantastic.
- Jokes on you buddy,

875
00:41:46,011 --> 00:41:47,913
because I don't believe in
traditional gender roles.

876
00:41:47,946 --> 00:41:52,051
You're gonna get whatever it is.

877
00:41:52,084 --> 00:41:54,520
I hope it's a snake.

878
00:41:54,553 --> 00:41:56,255
I can't believe you fucked him.

879
00:41:56,288 --> 00:41:57,990
This like towel move, dude.

880
00:41:58,023 --> 00:42:00,059
You know he was totally naked
on purpose, right?

881
00:42:00,092 --> 00:42:01,860
I don't know, he seemed
genuinely unaware of it.

882
00:42:01,894 --> 00:42:03,929
Oh yeah, okay, so he was
watching My Dog Skip

883
00:42:03,962 --> 00:42:05,898
completely naked,
that makes sense.

884
00:42:05,931 --> 00:42:08,300
That's fucking weird, dude.

885
00:42:08,334 --> 00:42:10,937
Weird or totally cute?

886
00:42:10,970 --> 00:42:12,872
I don't know, it just depends
on the size of his erec...

887
00:42:12,906 --> 00:42:14,341
Knock it off!

888
00:42:14,374 --> 00:42:17,143
Oh, you are so gonna get it.

889
00:42:17,177 --> 00:42:18,878
Do you really think he did it
on purpose?

890
00:42:18,912 --> 00:42:21,281
Are you still drunk? Yes.

891
00:42:21,314 --> 00:42:22,916
Oh my god,
that changes everything.

892
00:42:22,949 --> 00:42:25,085
Yeah, things are definitely
gonna get awkward

893
00:42:25,118 --> 00:42:26,319
near the mailbox.

894
00:42:26,353 --> 00:42:27,587
What did I just say?

895
00:42:27,620 --> 00:42:28,955
Knock it off.

896
00:42:28,988 --> 00:42:30,323
You got five seconds, hot shot.

897
00:42:30,357 --> 00:42:32,592
One, two.

898
00:42:32,625 --> 00:42:35,162
Three... Yup,
that's what I thought.

899
00:42:35,196 --> 00:42:37,064
Is it okay with their parents
that you're doing this?

900
00:42:37,098 --> 00:42:38,566
They don't give a shit.

901
00:42:38,599 --> 00:42:40,668
- Look at them.
- Seriously, I don't know

902
00:42:40,701 --> 00:42:42,470
if the old lady's
gonna let me go, man.

903
00:42:42,503 --> 00:42:46,006
I'm at this stupid park
with my kids.

904
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:47,942
I'm a goddamn saint.

905
00:42:47,975 --> 00:42:49,643
Yeah but you're not even
a babysitter.

906
00:42:49,677 --> 00:42:51,178
Listen, in love kids.

907
00:42:51,212 --> 00:42:53,347
I love them,
that's why I do this.

908
00:42:53,381 --> 00:42:55,383
I can't have any of my own.

909
00:42:55,416 --> 00:42:57,486
- You never told me that.
- Well, not medically.

910
00:42:57,519 --> 00:43:02,457
I just... I just
can't squeeze something

911
00:43:02,491 --> 00:43:04,993
the size of Peter Dinklage
out of my vagina.

912
00:43:05,026 --> 00:43:06,962
I'm sorry I just can't.

913
00:43:06,995 --> 00:43:08,230
I can definitely squeeze
something the size

914
00:43:08,263 --> 00:43:10,098
of Peter Dinklage in my vagina.

915
00:43:10,132 --> 00:43:12,200
- Eh.
- Eh, eh, eh.

916
00:43:12,234 --> 00:43:14,970
Eh, eh, yeah,

917
00:43:15,003 --> 00:43:18,440
Cause I could have Tyrion play
with my dragon eggs any day.

918
00:43:18,473 --> 00:43:20,308
Look, I come here
during my lunchbreak

919
00:43:20,342 --> 00:43:22,145
and pretend I have my own
because it's easy

920
00:43:22,178 --> 00:43:24,714
and it's oddly comforting.

921
00:43:24,747 --> 00:43:27,683
Have you ever considered
adoption maybe, or?

922
00:43:27,717 --> 00:43:29,285
Oh, god no.

923
00:43:29,318 --> 00:43:30,453
And deal with like dirty diapers

924
00:43:30,486 --> 00:43:31,721
and deep seeded adolescent
trauma?

925
00:43:31,754 --> 00:43:34,090
No, I'm just fine, I'm good.

926
00:43:34,123 --> 00:43:35,358
Hey!

927
00:43:35,391 --> 00:43:38,694
I'm always catching that one
trying to take girl's dolls.

928
00:43:38,728 --> 00:43:43,733
What if he really likes
playing with dolls.

929
00:43:43,766 --> 00:43:47,371
Oh shit, you know,
I didn't even think about that.

930
00:43:47,404 --> 00:43:51,442
I'm a horrible fake parent.

931
00:43:51,475 --> 00:43:54,111
So um, by the way, how are you?

932
00:43:54,144 --> 00:43:55,179
Being back and stuff.

933
00:43:55,212 --> 00:43:56,413
It's fine.

934
00:43:56,447 --> 00:43:57,981
I'm fine.

935
00:43:58,015 --> 00:44:00,017
Yeah? How's your mom?

936
00:44:00,050 --> 00:44:01,552
She's doing the best she can.

937
00:44:01,585 --> 00:44:03,687
I mean, we just really
didn't have a lot of time.

938
00:44:03,720 --> 00:44:05,756
We only found out a month ago.

939
00:44:05,789 --> 00:44:07,424
It's so fucked.

940
00:44:07,458 --> 00:44:09,494
So hey,
you want to hang out tonight?

941
00:44:09,527 --> 00:44:11,496
I don't know,
I have a PTA meeting.

942
00:44:11,529 --> 00:44:13,364
- What?
- It's a serious problem.

943
00:44:13,398 --> 00:44:15,300
Girl, yeah!

944
00:44:15,333 --> 00:44:16,768
You need to remember
you're still young.

945
00:44:16,801 --> 00:44:18,503
You need to be
your youthful self.

946
00:44:18,536 --> 00:44:21,406
My youthful self? Oh my god.

947
00:44:21,439 --> 00:44:23,775
I don't have a youthful self,
Harper.

948
00:44:23,808 --> 00:44:25,610
I work a stressful
nine to five job

949
00:44:25,643 --> 00:44:27,378
where I'm underappreciated.

950
00:44:27,412 --> 00:44:29,113
I can't find anyone in this town

951
00:44:29,147 --> 00:44:31,483
who isn't at least 75 percent
sociopath or a vegan.

952
00:44:31,516 --> 00:44:33,017
Hey, vegans are cool.

953
00:44:33,051 --> 00:44:36,322
Vegans fucking suck!

954
00:44:36,355 --> 00:44:38,324
But they have great baked goods.

955
00:44:38,357 --> 00:44:40,359
You know, I think I'm just gonna
be single my whole life.

956
00:44:40,392 --> 00:44:42,294
The only time that I am youthful

957
00:44:42,328 --> 00:44:45,264
is when I watch Stranger Things
with my dog in a onesie.

958
00:44:45,297 --> 00:44:47,566
Come on girl, you are great

959
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:49,802
and you need to come
and hang with me.

960
00:44:49,836 --> 00:44:51,337
I've been on a two-day bender.

961
00:44:51,370 --> 00:44:52,805
I say we make
it a solid trilogy.

962
00:44:52,839 --> 00:44:54,139
Remember the times
that we didn't have schedules

963
00:44:54,173 --> 00:44:56,041
or plans or anything like that?

964
00:44:56,075 --> 00:44:58,245
- Yeah, I mean, it was awesome.
- It was awesome.

965
00:44:58,278 --> 00:44:59,646
Except for the part
where I had no money.

966
00:44:59,679 --> 00:45:01,181
Cheap thrills, bitch.

967
00:45:01,214 --> 00:45:02,415
Come on!

968
00:45:02,449 --> 00:45:04,351
- Ow.
- Come on!

969
00:45:04,384 --> 00:45:06,052
- Stop!
- Come on!

970
00:45:06,086 --> 00:45:07,754
Stop, okay, fine.

971
00:45:07,787 --> 00:45:09,322
I'll bring more brownies.

972
00:45:09,356 --> 00:45:11,424
You have magical brownies? Oh!

973
00:45:11,458 --> 00:45:12,759
Yeah my boss got them
for me last year

974
00:45:12,792 --> 00:45:15,161
when I went to Portland,
I didn't need them.

975
00:45:15,195 --> 00:45:17,430
How could you not need them?

976
00:45:17,464 --> 00:45:19,733
Haven't you been to Portland?

977
00:45:19,766 --> 00:45:22,270
Hey, you are so gonna get it.

978
00:45:22,303 --> 00:45:25,406
Hey... hold on a sec,
are you talking to my kid?

979
00:45:25,439 --> 00:45:27,208
Yeah because you're
on your fucking phone.

980
00:45:27,241 --> 00:45:29,845
- Mind your own business, lady.
- Wake up, daddio.

981
00:45:29,878 --> 00:45:32,280
This is my job,
I'm doing my job, okay.

982
00:45:32,313 --> 00:45:34,615
- I'm working stocks.
- Okay, well, congratulations

983
00:45:34,649 --> 00:45:37,084
on your stocks,
I'm watching your child,

984
00:45:37,118 --> 00:45:40,221
- I'll send you an invoice.
- I'm a doctor, okay?

985
00:45:40,254 --> 00:45:41,656
You're a doctor?

986
00:45:41,689 --> 00:45:45,360
I've met you so many times
outside Wholefoods.

987
00:45:45,394 --> 00:45:47,262
I think he's actually calling
the cops.

988
00:45:47,296 --> 00:45:49,665
- Okay well then let's just go.
- Okay, come on, no, no, no.

989
00:45:49,698 --> 00:45:50,867
Do you want me to grab
the blanket?

990
00:45:50,900 --> 00:45:53,836
It's not even mine, let's go.

991
00:45:53,870 --> 00:45:55,804
I'll see you man,
I'll bring a twelver.

992
00:46:02,277 --> 00:46:04,246
- Hey.
- Hi.

993
00:46:04,279 --> 00:46:07,115
How are you, uh, feeling?

994
00:46:07,149 --> 00:46:08,717
Feeling all right.

995
00:46:08,750 --> 00:46:10,520
Great, Jesus,
that's a lot of coupons.

996
00:46:10,553 --> 00:46:12,555
Nah, I know, I just...
I haven't had a chance

997
00:46:12,589 --> 00:46:14,557
to check it in a while.

998
00:46:16,192 --> 00:46:18,862
- Sorry.
- That's okay.

999
00:46:18,896 --> 00:46:21,431
So, what are you up to tonight?

1000
00:46:28,738 --> 00:46:31,474
Not feeling so well,
I think I need to go upstairs

1001
00:46:31,507 --> 00:46:32,843
- for a little bit.
- You okay?

1002
00:46:32,876 --> 00:46:35,379
All of a sudden
not feeling too good.

1003
00:46:37,181 --> 00:46:38,850
Not feeling good, like,
not like in a pregnant way,

1004
00:46:38,883 --> 00:46:40,417
though, right, not like...?

1005
00:46:40,451 --> 00:46:43,220
No, Paul.

1006
00:46:43,253 --> 00:46:45,289
I'm just... okay, feel better.

1007
00:46:45,322 --> 00:46:46,690
Fuck.

1008
00:46:46,724 --> 00:46:48,860
Oh, shit, oh, this is not good.

1009
00:47:00,538 --> 00:47:02,173
Mom, Mom.

1010
00:47:03,675 --> 00:47:06,511
What do you mean you don't know
when he's coming home?

1011
00:47:06,544 --> 00:47:07,779
Okay, but, Ma,
I'm sorry about calling,

1012
00:47:07,812 --> 00:47:09,414
just never mind,
I'll call you back.

1013
00:47:09,447 --> 00:47:11,816
♪ My miss Lindy ♪

1014
00:47:11,851 --> 00:47:15,520
♪ Well I love that little girl
with fiery hair ♪

1015
00:47:25,765 --> 00:47:29,301
God damn Flora where'd
you put the fucking wine.

1016
00:47:29,335 --> 00:47:32,304
♪ Well Miss Lindy,
my Miss Lindy ♪

1017
00:47:32,338 --> 00:47:36,609
♪ Well I love that little girl
with fiery hair ♪

1018
00:47:36,642 --> 00:47:38,811
Fuck!

1019
00:47:38,845 --> 00:47:41,313
♪ She likes to dance all day ♪

1020
00:47:41,347 --> 00:47:43,516
♪ And when she does
her rock and roll ♪

1021
00:47:43,549 --> 00:47:45,652
♪ It take your breath away ♪

1022
00:47:45,686 --> 00:47:47,754
♪ Well she's mine ♪

1023
00:47:47,788 --> 00:47:49,857
♪ Yeah she's mine ♪

1024
00:47:49,891 --> 00:47:53,861
♪ Well I love that
little girl she's so fine ♪

1025
00:47:53,895 --> 00:47:57,330
♪ Well Miss Lindy's hair
is fiery red ♪

1026
00:47:57,364 --> 00:47:59,867
♪ Her eyes are water blue ♪

1027
00:47:59,901 --> 00:48:03,270
♪ And when Miss Lindy
smiles at me ♪

1028
00:48:03,303 --> 00:48:06,339
♪ Oh what it makes me do ♪

1029
00:48:06,373 --> 00:48:08,442
♪ Well she's mine ♪

1030
00:48:08,475 --> 00:48:10,545
♪ Yeah she's mine ♪

1031
00:48:10,578 --> 00:48:14,850
♪ Well I love that little girl
cause she's so fine ♪

1032
00:48:41,376 --> 00:48:44,346
♪ All your little friends must
think I'm blind ♪

1033
00:48:44,379 --> 00:48:47,449
♪ Don't see when you're going
out at night ♪

1034
00:48:47,483 --> 00:48:53,689
♪ I know just where you are ♪

1035
00:48:53,722 --> 00:48:56,893
♪ Sleeping past the break
of day ♪

1036
00:48:56,926 --> 00:49:00,030
♪ I don't believe
a word you say ♪

1037
00:49:00,064 --> 00:49:05,335
♪ I'll see right through you ♪

1038
00:49:05,368 --> 00:49:09,006
♪ No no no no only my friends
are telling me to run ♪

1039
00:49:09,039 --> 00:49:12,375
♪ Telling myself
no one I can trust ♪

1040
00:49:12,408 --> 00:49:14,611
♪ I gotta get going
gotta break... ♪

1041
00:49:27,025 --> 00:49:29,360
- Hey.
- Hi.

1042
00:49:29,393 --> 00:49:32,663
- How are you tonight?
- Good.

1043
00:49:32,696 --> 00:49:34,398
Great.

1044
00:49:34,431 --> 00:49:36,400
Movie night.

1045
00:49:36,433 --> 00:49:38,402
Ah, what are you watching?

1046
00:49:38,435 --> 00:49:40,738
My Dog Skip.

1047
00:49:44,441 --> 00:49:47,445
Um, the first half is great,

1048
00:49:47,479 --> 00:49:49,781
and then it, uh...

1049
00:49:49,815 --> 00:49:51,449
then it kinda tanks.

1050
00:49:51,483 --> 00:49:52,852
Julie, ooh!

1051
00:49:52,885 --> 00:49:55,487
You're a big fucking cooter.

1052
00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:58,991
Hey, uh, slut?

1053
00:49:59,025 --> 00:50:00,927
Uh, you feeling better, Harper?

1054
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:03,695
Shit, fuck.

1055
00:50:03,728 --> 00:50:05,397
Feeling a lot better,
thank you so much,

1056
00:50:05,430 --> 00:50:07,033
had an orange.

1057
00:50:07,066 --> 00:50:09,903
- Get the fuck in here.
- Harper, what?

1058
00:50:09,937 --> 00:50:11,839
- Come here.
- Oh, okay, nice meeting you.

1059
00:50:14,507 --> 00:50:16,642
You too.

1060
00:50:22,715 --> 00:50:24,684
- Not good.
- Getting the party started

1061
00:50:24,717 --> 00:50:26,419
without me, huh?

1062
00:50:26,452 --> 00:50:29,555
Did you know that kangaroos
have three vaginas?

1063
00:50:29,589 --> 00:50:31,124
I learned it right there

1064
00:50:31,158 --> 00:50:32,758
on the television.

1065
00:50:32,792 --> 00:50:36,496
The church of our life, man.

1066
00:50:36,530 --> 00:50:39,700
Yeah, that's... wild.

1067
00:50:41,768 --> 00:50:44,438
Wild, that's such a good pun.

1068
00:50:44,471 --> 00:50:45,940
That's such a Big Pun.

1069
00:50:45,974 --> 00:50:48,176
♪ I don't wanna be
a player no more ♪

1070
00:50:48,209 --> 00:50:50,544
♪ I ain't a player,
I just fuck a lot ♪

1071
00:50:50,577 --> 00:50:53,014
Oh, wow,
you're fucking drunk, dude.

1072
00:50:53,047 --> 00:50:55,816
I'm not drunk,
I am cogent.

1073
00:50:57,819 --> 00:50:59,787
Drink this.

1074
00:50:59,821 --> 00:51:00,956
Ugh.

1075
00:51:00,990 --> 00:51:03,458
I'm waiting for this forever.

1076
00:51:07,595 --> 00:51:09,098
This isn't vodka.

1077
00:51:09,131 --> 00:51:10,900
Poor people vodka.

1078
00:51:10,933 --> 00:51:12,667
- Water.
- You know, maybe we should

1079
00:51:12,700 --> 00:51:14,702
- just hang out another night.
- No, no,

1080
00:51:14,736 --> 00:51:16,205
because if we don't
hang tonight,

1081
00:51:16,238 --> 00:51:18,140
then we won't watch
Girl With the Pearl Necklace,

1082
00:51:18,173 --> 00:51:20,541
and then we won't watch
Scarlet do the little baby...

1083
00:51:20,575 --> 00:51:22,879
- You're a little drunk.
- And you're a little bit

1084
00:51:22,913 --> 00:51:25,681
of a bitch.

1085
00:51:25,714 --> 00:51:27,683
What is going on, Harper?

1086
00:51:27,716 --> 00:51:29,818
I'm fine, I barely even drank.

1087
00:51:29,853 --> 00:51:31,922
Okay, well tell that to
the whiskey bottle right there.

1088
00:51:34,124 --> 00:51:36,592
I'm fine, I barely even drank.

1089
00:51:36,625 --> 00:51:38,161
Have you been drinking all day?

1090
00:51:41,197 --> 00:51:42,564
Harper.

1091
00:51:43,833 --> 00:51:45,202
Harper.

1092
00:52:04,821 --> 00:52:06,623
I didn't know I had Qdoba.

1093
00:52:08,758 --> 00:52:11,129
Round two, bitches!

1094
00:52:12,830 --> 00:52:14,933
Oh, my God, let's get naked
and praise the moon.

1095
00:52:14,967 --> 00:52:17,802
Woo, come on, girl!

1096
00:52:17,836 --> 00:52:19,838
Scarlett Johansson!

1097
00:52:21,873 --> 00:52:23,574
Woo, round two!

1098
00:52:24,943 --> 00:52:26,878
Oh, come on, all right,
magical brownies.

1099
00:52:26,912 --> 00:52:28,646
Did you bring the brownies?

1100
00:52:28,679 --> 00:52:30,715
You know what, you really need
to just slow down.

1101
00:52:30,748 --> 00:52:32,284
What are you talking about?
It's Friday.

1102
00:52:32,317 --> 00:52:34,020
It's Saturday,
but that's besides the point.

1103
00:52:34,053 --> 00:52:35,888
You need to
take it down a notch.

1104
00:52:35,922 --> 00:52:38,224
Okay, thank you, Flanders.

1105
00:52:38,257 --> 00:52:41,626
Okay, Harper, what is going on?

1106
00:52:41,660 --> 00:52:43,296
- Nothing's going on.
- Really?

1107
00:52:43,329 --> 00:52:45,264
- Yeah.
- By the looks of it,

1108
00:52:45,298 --> 00:52:47,632
a lot is going on.

1109
00:52:47,666 --> 00:52:49,801
- Okay, Dr. Phil.
- Great references.

1110
00:52:49,836 --> 00:52:52,205
What is so funny?
I'm being serious.

1111
00:52:52,238 --> 00:52:54,874
Oh, my God, I thought tonight
was girls' night, man.

1112
00:52:54,907 --> 00:52:56,608
No rules, no schedules.

1113
00:52:56,641 --> 00:52:59,279
I didn't realize I was
gonna get a fucking lecture.

1114
00:52:59,313 --> 00:53:01,647
I'm not trying to lecture you,
I'm just trying to see

1115
00:53:01,681 --> 00:53:03,816
- if you're okay.
- Why does everybody

1116
00:53:03,851 --> 00:53:06,020
keep asking me if I'm okay?

1117
00:53:06,053 --> 00:53:08,222
I'm fine! You know what,
if you want me to be something,

1118
00:53:08,255 --> 00:53:10,190
you tell me what you want me
to be and I'll be it.

1119
00:53:10,224 --> 00:53:12,592
Until then,
just shut the fuck up!

1120
00:53:14,761 --> 00:53:16,529
Your father just passed away.

1121
00:53:18,165 --> 00:53:19,832
Look, I get it.

1122
00:53:19,867 --> 00:53:21,568
You can be any way you want,
I just don't want you

1123
00:53:21,602 --> 00:53:23,872
to be destructive.

1124
00:53:23,905 --> 00:53:25,874
You know what,
you're right, Julie.

1125
00:53:25,907 --> 00:53:28,709
We just need to do this
another time.

1126
00:53:28,742 --> 00:53:30,111
I'm standing right here

1127
00:53:30,145 --> 00:53:32,713
if you need to talk.

1128
00:53:32,746 --> 00:53:34,115
You just need to go, Julie.

1129
00:53:34,149 --> 00:53:35,682
Just leave me alone.

1130
00:53:37,886 --> 00:53:39,354
Okay.

1131
00:53:39,387 --> 00:53:41,622
Just... I gotta be alone.

1132
00:53:45,895 --> 00:53:47,595
Bye.

1133
00:53:50,632 --> 00:53:53,903
Here, this'll help
with your hangover.

1134
00:53:53,936 --> 00:53:56,272
Just eat one piece of one, okay?

1135
00:53:56,305 --> 00:53:59,075
'Cause they're really powerful.

1136
00:53:59,108 --> 00:54:02,845
You know if you need anything,
you can just call me, right?

1137
00:54:02,878 --> 00:54:04,013
Mhm.

1138
00:54:04,046 --> 00:54:06,748
Okay, thank you.

1139
00:54:06,781 --> 00:54:08,852
Okay.

1140
00:54:25,302 --> 00:54:28,371
...Woodpeckers that can be found
all around the world.

1141
00:54:28,405 --> 00:54:31,707
It's so cool
how animals are fooled!

1142
00:54:31,740 --> 00:54:34,045
Did you know that sharks
have no bones?

1143
00:54:34,078 --> 00:54:36,813
- There's no bones about it.
- Are you an animal?

1144
00:54:36,848 --> 00:54:38,950
You must be cool!

1145
00:55:52,759 --> 00:55:55,129
Good luck with your
laser tag business, man.

1146
00:55:55,162 --> 00:55:56,864
Thank you, bye.

1147
00:55:59,166 --> 00:56:00,434
I love my job!

1148
00:56:27,462 --> 00:56:28,964
There she is!

1149
00:56:28,997 --> 00:56:30,966
Here I is.

1150
00:56:30,999 --> 00:56:32,868
Harper, this is Christine,
Christine, this is Harper.

1151
00:56:32,902 --> 00:56:34,070
- Hi.
- Hey, yeah, Dusty told me

1152
00:56:34,103 --> 00:56:36,138
- all about you.
- Mm, he must've told you

1153
00:56:36,172 --> 00:56:38,541
I have a tendency
to try to kill pretty ladies.

1154
00:56:38,574 --> 00:56:39,976
Don't worry, you'll be fine.

1155
00:56:42,245 --> 00:56:44,981
Uh, so Christine's a writer,

1156
00:56:45,014 --> 00:56:47,483
- and super funny.
- Hm, writer.

1157
00:56:47,516 --> 00:56:50,819
It pays the bills, yeah,
so I like it.

1158
00:56:50,853 --> 00:56:54,156
Cool, do you write,
like, books or plays?

1159
00:56:54,190 --> 00:56:56,792
Um, so I have a blog
that I am working on mostly,

1160
00:56:56,826 --> 00:56:59,463
but I'm also
writing a children's book.

1161
00:56:59,496 --> 00:57:01,265
It's about
the Spanish Inquisition,

1162
00:57:01,298 --> 00:57:03,033
but you know, like,
for kids obviously.

1163
00:57:03,066 --> 00:57:04,534
It's cool,
I think you'd like it.

1164
00:57:04,568 --> 00:57:07,371
Neat, awesome, so there's
alcohol at this party, cool.

1165
00:57:07,404 --> 00:57:08,538
- Uh, yeah.
- Yeah, there is.

1166
00:57:08,572 --> 00:57:11,375
Harper Lee!

1167
00:57:11,408 --> 00:57:14,144
- Harper Lee!
- Oh, my God, Kyle,

1168
00:57:14,177 --> 00:57:16,980
- what are you doing here?
- It's my friend's party.

1169
00:57:17,014 --> 00:57:19,182
The agent, I invited Dusty.

1170
00:57:19,216 --> 00:57:21,519
- Did you tell her?
- Oh, my God, wait,

1171
00:57:21,552 --> 00:57:24,489
- tell me what?
- Uh, his friend's gonna rep me.

1172
00:57:24,522 --> 00:57:27,325
What, really, wait, when, how?

1173
00:57:27,358 --> 00:57:30,194
Kyle showed him some of
the clips from the live stream,

1174
00:57:30,228 --> 00:57:32,930
- and fucking loved 'em.
- Oh, my God, that's amazing.

1175
00:57:32,964 --> 00:57:34,866
- I know.
- My boy

1176
00:57:34,899 --> 00:57:36,267
thinks he's the next Zala...

1177
00:57:36,301 --> 00:57:38,403
Zach Galifianass.

1178
00:57:38,436 --> 00:57:39,871
- Galifianakis.
- Yeah.

1179
00:57:39,904 --> 00:57:41,472
He's flattering me,
no, it's just...

1180
00:57:41,506 --> 00:57:43,508
it's not that big of a deal,
it's not that big of a deal.

1181
00:57:43,541 --> 00:57:45,110
- I'm so happy for you.
- Thank you very much.

1182
00:57:45,144 --> 00:57:48,113
- It's very cool.
- When you're as grown up,

1183
00:57:48,147 --> 00:57:51,850
you're as growned up,
swingers, right?

1184
00:57:51,884 --> 00:57:54,019
- Oh, right.
- Oh, my God!

1185
00:57:54,053 --> 00:57:56,221
You know what we need to do?
We need to celebrate.

1186
00:57:56,255 --> 00:57:58,457
You wanna do shots?
We should do some shots.

1187
00:57:58,490 --> 00:58:00,859
No, I'm not drinking tonight.

1188
00:58:00,893 --> 00:58:02,294
- Come on.
- No, I'm not drinking tonight.

1189
00:58:02,328 --> 00:58:04,163
- Don't be a pussy, Dusty.
- Okay, well I'm not

1190
00:58:04,196 --> 00:58:05,631
being a pussy,
last night I went too hard.

1191
00:58:05,664 --> 00:58:08,500
Forget about you...
Rebecca, me, you.

1192
00:58:08,535 --> 00:58:10,970
Christine... I got wine, I'm good.

1193
00:58:11,004 --> 00:58:12,439
Thank you.

1194
00:58:12,472 --> 00:58:15,275
Okay, Kyle, my man.

1195
00:58:15,308 --> 00:58:17,010
Everybody's being
a bunch of party pussies.

1196
00:58:17,043 --> 00:58:18,578
- You wanna drink with me?
- I'm giving you the...

1197
00:58:18,611 --> 00:58:20,347
the arm of... of glory.

1198
00:58:20,380 --> 00:58:22,582
You have my axe!

1199
00:58:24,284 --> 00:58:26,119
Be safe!

1200
00:58:29,556 --> 00:58:31,257
She's nice.

1201
00:58:47,241 --> 00:58:49,944
Know what I mean?

1202
00:58:49,977 --> 00:58:52,179
Nope.

1203
00:58:52,213 --> 00:58:54,615
Crypto currency

1204
00:58:54,648 --> 00:58:56,518
is... okay...

1205
00:58:56,551 --> 00:58:58,520
okay, so there are
these book chains.

1206
00:59:00,622 --> 00:59:03,291
Block chains, and, um,

1207
00:59:03,325 --> 00:59:06,128
basically what it is
is that in the future

1208
00:59:06,161 --> 00:59:08,597
you will be able
to do everything

1209
00:59:08,630 --> 00:59:11,032
through your phone.

1210
00:59:11,066 --> 00:59:13,235
Uh, don't we already use
our phones for everything?

1211
00:59:17,506 --> 00:59:21,244
Yeah, but,

1212
00:59:21,277 --> 00:59:23,246
block chains.

1213
00:59:23,279 --> 00:59:25,114
Block chains.

1214
00:59:25,148 --> 00:59:27,583
Excuse me, I'm gonna interject.

1215
00:59:27,617 --> 00:59:29,152
Are you talking about
crypto currency?

1216
00:59:29,185 --> 00:59:30,420
- Yeah.
- Oh, dude,

1217
00:59:30,453 --> 00:59:32,054
- I just got into Space.
- No fucking way.

1218
00:59:32,088 --> 00:59:33,289
Dude, I'll send you
some Ethereum.

1219
00:59:33,322 --> 00:59:34,991
- Rad.
- What's your wallet address?

1220
00:59:35,024 --> 00:59:36,626
- Do you have your QR code?
- No, it's all up in here, baby.

1221
00:59:36,659 --> 00:59:38,327
- Whoa.
- Iron trap.

1222
00:59:38,361 --> 00:59:40,096
I can just tell it to you,
you wanna write it down?

1223
00:59:40,129 --> 00:59:41,497
Yeah, no, I have a good memory,
I'm an actor.

1224
00:59:41,531 --> 00:59:43,166
- Perfect, all right, you ready?
- Yeah.

1225
00:59:43,199 --> 00:59:45,269
- X, X, X...
- X, X, X...

1226
00:59:45,302 --> 00:59:48,639
- ...3, 4, 7, 1...
- ...3, 4, 7, 1...

1227
00:59:48,672 --> 00:59:50,340
- Upper case J.
- Upper case J.

1228
00:59:50,374 --> 00:59:51,675
- Lower case J.
- Lower case J.

1229
00:59:51,708 --> 00:59:53,377
Upper case J again.

1230
01:00:01,418 --> 01:00:03,687
Okay, repeat everything I said
just back to me.

1231
01:00:03,720 --> 01:00:05,122
- X.
- Okay.

1232
01:00:05,155 --> 01:00:06,290
- 6.
- Okay.

1233
01:00:06,323 --> 01:00:08,091
- 4.
- Okay.

1234
01:00:08,125 --> 01:00:10,995
- 1.
- Doesn't sound right.

1235
01:00:11,029 --> 01:00:13,198
You have it
written down somewhere?

1236
01:00:15,433 --> 01:00:17,435
I gotta call my wife.

1237
01:00:19,737 --> 01:00:22,707
- How much you have in?
- I gotta call my wife!

1238
01:00:22,740 --> 01:00:25,243
Dude, fuck.

1239
01:00:25,276 --> 01:00:28,046
I don't even know what it is.

1240
01:00:28,079 --> 01:00:30,014
Me either.

1241
01:00:30,048 --> 01:00:32,350
This party fucking blows, man.

1242
01:00:32,384 --> 01:00:33,752
Let's go light it up.

1243
01:00:33,786 --> 01:00:35,120
Do they have karaoke
or something?

1244
01:00:35,154 --> 01:00:36,222
- They have that here?
- Okay.

1245
01:00:36,255 --> 01:00:39,058
- Yay!
- Oh!

1246
01:00:41,794 --> 01:00:44,129
Rock on!

1247
01:00:44,163 --> 01:00:46,065
♪ I was like, oh, my God,
what did I do ♪

1248
01:00:46,098 --> 01:00:48,334
♪ To deserve this,
what did I do ♪

1249
01:00:48,367 --> 01:00:51,170
♪ The justice system is fucked,
the justice system is fucked ♪

1250
01:00:51,203 --> 01:00:52,705
My dresser drawer,
it'll be on the back

1251
01:00:52,738 --> 01:00:54,139
of the frame broiler receipt.

1252
01:00:54,173 --> 01:00:55,708
Sheila,
it's a legitimate market.

1253
01:01:07,153 --> 01:01:09,222
Holy fuck.

1254
01:01:11,124 --> 01:01:12,492
Woo!

1255
01:01:14,561 --> 01:01:16,630
Somebody make me
a fucking Moscow Mule.

1256
01:01:16,663 --> 01:01:18,698
Yeah, I can!

1257
01:01:18,732 --> 01:01:20,501
Anybody have any limes?

1258
01:01:20,535 --> 01:01:22,770
No, when I go to the zoo
I don't go to the giraffes.

1259
01:01:22,803 --> 01:01:24,605
I just don't go to the zoo,
there's all sorts

1260
01:01:24,639 --> 01:01:27,341
- of terrifying monsters there.
- I know, it's really like...

1261
01:01:27,375 --> 01:01:30,211
Have you seen
how slow turtles move?

1262
01:01:30,244 --> 01:01:31,846
- No.
- No.

1263
01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:33,748
- That's cool, like I don't...
- Who writes a children's book

1264
01:01:33,781 --> 01:01:35,349
about the Spanish Inquisition?

1265
01:01:37,184 --> 01:01:38,819
That seems awesome.

1266
01:01:46,161 --> 01:01:48,263
"I'm a writer," ugh.

1267
01:01:51,633 --> 01:01:53,402
♪ Who is in the house babe ♪

1268
01:01:53,435 --> 01:01:57,105
♪ Who is in the house,
who is in the house babe ♪

1269
01:01:57,139 --> 01:01:59,675
♪ Maya's in the house ♪

1270
01:01:59,708 --> 01:02:02,477
You need to be a singer.

1271
01:02:02,511 --> 01:02:05,547
- I am a singer.
- No, I mean like a real singer.

1272
01:02:05,581 --> 01:02:08,116
I would buy your album, like...

1273
01:02:09,552 --> 01:02:11,454
That fast, like that.

1274
01:02:11,487 --> 01:02:12,789
Thank you.

1275
01:02:12,822 --> 01:02:15,758
I wanna be a dancer.

1276
01:02:15,792 --> 01:02:17,427
Like ballet, or...?

1277
01:02:17,460 --> 01:02:19,295
- Hip-hop.
- No way.

1278
01:02:19,329 --> 01:02:21,431
Seriously,
I even wrote my own raps

1279
01:02:21,464 --> 01:02:24,233
from, like, 7th grade

1280
01:02:24,267 --> 01:02:26,736
- until senior year.
- Oh, wow.

1281
01:02:26,769 --> 01:02:29,372
I just love the art form.

1282
01:02:29,405 --> 01:02:32,141
You know, it's like my, uh...

1283
01:02:32,175 --> 01:02:35,212
- my dream.
- What about acting, though?

1284
01:02:35,245 --> 01:02:38,682
Uh, guess I just kinda
fucking hate it right now.

1285
01:02:38,716 --> 01:02:40,885
- No, you love it.
- No.

1286
01:02:40,919 --> 01:02:42,519
You're doing so well right now.

1287
01:02:42,553 --> 01:02:45,356
I really don't.

1288
01:02:45,389 --> 01:02:47,625
I'm on a stupid fucking
ABC Family show.

1289
01:02:47,658 --> 01:02:49,560
I have the same three lines
every episode.

1290
01:02:49,593 --> 01:02:53,230
"Greg, I'm home!"

1291
01:02:53,263 --> 01:02:56,568
Cue audience applause
that's fake.

1292
01:02:56,601 --> 01:02:58,871
- Credits roll.
- What about the, um...

1293
01:02:58,904 --> 01:03:00,572
what was it...
the drug addiction episode?

1294
01:03:00,605 --> 01:03:02,307
Oh, my God, like,

1295
01:03:02,340 --> 01:03:04,442
chopped onions, bawled
my eyes out, man.

1296
01:03:06,979 --> 01:03:09,848
Okay, it did suck a big dick.

1297
01:03:09,882 --> 01:03:13,752
A big old dickie!

1298
01:03:13,785 --> 01:03:16,187
But, also gained me, like

1299
01:03:16,221 --> 01:03:18,958
a big old checkie!

1300
01:03:18,991 --> 01:03:21,227
Which is cool,
'cause I basically had nothing.

1301
01:03:21,260 --> 01:03:22,828
I had my place.

1302
01:03:22,862 --> 01:03:26,265
Just got some cool clothes,
cool beanie, but...

1303
01:03:26,298 --> 01:03:27,566
- But what?
- I don't know.

1304
01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:28,935
- I'm just...
- But what?

1305
01:03:31,370 --> 01:03:33,773
I just wanna, like...

1306
01:03:33,806 --> 01:03:36,442
I wanna dance, hip-hop.

1307
01:03:36,475 --> 01:03:40,479
I wanna, like, teach
underdeveloped kids.

1308
01:03:40,513 --> 01:03:43,315
You know, like,

1309
01:03:43,349 --> 01:03:45,218
give back something.

1310
01:03:45,252 --> 01:03:46,653
- I wanna...
- Kyle.

1311
01:03:46,687 --> 01:03:48,555
Hm?

1312
01:03:48,588 --> 01:03:51,926
You know what
you need to do now.

1313
01:03:51,959 --> 01:03:53,928
No, I don't, what?

1314
01:03:53,961 --> 01:03:56,898
I need you to dance

1315
01:03:56,931 --> 01:03:58,465
right now.

1316
01:03:59,867 --> 01:04:01,301
- I'm serious.
- Here, what,

1317
01:04:01,334 --> 01:04:02,669
- in front of all these people?
- Yeah.

1318
01:04:02,703 --> 01:04:04,304
- Just watching.
- Absolutely.

1319
01:04:04,337 --> 01:04:05,873
No way, I'm not gonna...

1320
01:04:05,907 --> 01:04:08,309
- Are you serious right now?
- I am so serious.

1321
01:04:08,342 --> 01:04:10,411
I'm not gonna, like...
are you seriously serious?

1322
01:04:10,445 --> 01:04:12,380
- I am seriously serious.
- Are you serious?

1323
01:04:12,413 --> 01:04:14,649
I am serious.

1324
01:04:14,682 --> 01:04:17,920
'Cause I carry this with me
wherever I go.

1325
01:04:17,953 --> 01:04:20,488
Oh, dude.

1326
01:04:39,608 --> 01:04:41,443
♪ Mortal Kombat ♪

1327
01:04:47,483 --> 01:04:50,285
♪ Sonic bass ♪

1328
01:04:55,324 --> 01:04:57,861
♪ Mortal Kombat ♪

1329
01:05:09,874 --> 01:05:12,442
Who fucking threw that?

1330
01:05:12,475 --> 01:05:14,844
Who the fuck threw that?

1331
01:05:14,879 --> 01:05:17,847
Who fucking threw that?

1332
01:05:17,882 --> 01:05:20,684
Who fucking...?

1333
01:05:20,718 --> 01:05:22,386
Just kidding, power acting.

1334
01:05:22,419 --> 01:05:24,722
Robert De Niro!

1335
01:05:26,757 --> 01:05:28,592
♪ Mortal Kombat ♪

1336
01:05:34,598 --> 01:05:36,634
♪ Mortal Kombat ♪

1337
01:05:42,540 --> 01:05:44,509
♪ Sonic bass ♪

1338
01:05:44,543 --> 01:05:48,346
♪ Gonna drop the bomb
on you, baby ♪

1339
01:05:48,380 --> 01:05:49,949
I love that song, like, so much.

1340
01:05:49,982 --> 01:05:53,119
- I love that song.
- ♪ It's a... drop a bomb on me ♪

1341
01:05:53,152 --> 01:05:55,453
♪ Baby,
you dropped a bomb on me ♪

1342
01:05:55,487 --> 01:05:57,556
- I've never been a bird guy.
- Oh, my gosh, I know,

1343
01:05:57,589 --> 01:06:01,393
I think the scariest animal
to me is a giraffe.

1344
01:06:01,426 --> 01:06:02,861
♪ Baby, boo ♪

1345
01:06:02,895 --> 01:06:05,630
- And my dad is like... whoa.
- Whoa.

1346
01:06:05,664 --> 01:06:07,432
What is that?

1347
01:06:07,465 --> 01:06:09,869
♪ Dropped a bomb on me ♪

1348
01:06:09,903 --> 01:06:11,138
- ♪ Baby ♪
- Are you throwing limes?

1349
01:06:11,171 --> 01:06:13,539
- Goddamnit!
- Maybe.

1350
01:06:13,573 --> 01:06:15,741
I'm only gonna
ask you this once,

1351
01:06:15,775 --> 01:06:19,679
I need you to
rind your own business, okay?

1352
01:06:19,712 --> 01:06:21,514
That was
a really funny dad joke.

1353
01:06:21,547 --> 01:06:23,749
That was a solid dad joke.

1354
01:06:23,783 --> 01:06:25,052
Thank you,
I'll be here all week.

1355
01:06:25,085 --> 01:06:27,087
Yeah, you wanna
tell one about my dad?

1356
01:06:27,120 --> 01:06:28,621
Huh?

1357
01:06:28,654 --> 01:06:31,390
You wanna tell a dad joke
about my dad?

1358
01:06:31,424 --> 01:06:33,061
All right, I'm sorry
I brought that up.

1359
01:06:33,094 --> 01:06:35,596
'Cause they're
really, really funny,

1360
01:06:35,629 --> 01:06:39,566
because my... my dad is dead.

1361
01:06:39,600 --> 01:06:41,668
My dad died, it's so...

1362
01:06:41,702 --> 01:06:43,137
- Uh...
- ...funny.

1363
01:06:43,171 --> 01:06:45,974
Sorry, Harper, I didn't...
I didn't mean to.

1364
01:06:46,007 --> 01:06:48,142
"I'm so sorry, Harper,
I didn't mean to say..."

1365
01:06:50,444 --> 01:06:51,980
You're being a little child,
seriously.

1366
01:06:52,013 --> 01:06:54,781
- Oh, I'm being a little child?
- I think we should, uh...

1367
01:06:54,815 --> 01:06:56,718
I am not the one that's
walking around all day long

1368
01:06:56,751 --> 01:06:58,921
with brick walls
strapped to my back,

1369
01:06:58,954 --> 01:07:00,488
telling jokes to people
in food courts

1370
01:07:00,521 --> 01:07:01,789
that they don't even wanna hear.

1371
01:07:01,823 --> 01:07:04,592
- Are we being serious right now?
- I'm kidding.

1372
01:07:04,626 --> 01:07:06,195
I'm just kidding.

1373
01:07:06,228 --> 01:07:07,829
Rebecca, you know what...
you're Rebecca?

1374
01:07:07,862 --> 01:07:09,664
It's Christine, actually.

1375
01:07:09,697 --> 01:07:11,066
That... you know what, you know.

1376
01:07:11,100 --> 01:07:12,533
You know that I know...

1377
01:07:12,567 --> 01:07:14,569
- Let's... let's do some shots.
- No.

1378
01:07:14,602 --> 01:07:17,006
- Let's do some shots.
- No, no, no, no, no.

1379
01:07:17,039 --> 01:07:19,540
No, we're not doing...
no fucking way.

1380
01:07:19,574 --> 01:07:21,543
You've had
more than enough to drink.

1381
01:07:21,577 --> 01:07:23,812
You've had enough to drink
for everybody fucking here.

1382
01:07:23,846 --> 01:07:25,648
Yeah, because they're
a bunch of fucking pussies.

1383
01:07:25,681 --> 01:07:28,151
- Don't tell me what to do.
- Dude, serious...

1384
01:07:28,184 --> 01:07:30,086
- Goddamnit.
- I can drink whatever the fuck

1385
01:07:30,120 --> 01:07:31,754
- I want, leave me alone!
- Clearly not.

1386
01:07:31,787 --> 01:07:33,990
Yes, I can, you don't even
give a shit about me!

1387
01:07:34,024 --> 01:07:35,258
- That's fucking bullshit!
- No, it's not!

1388
01:07:35,292 --> 01:07:37,227
- I'm trying to fucking help you.
- You're the one that's

1389
01:07:37,260 --> 01:07:39,062
- supposed to be helping me.
- I am fucking helping you

1390
01:07:39,095 --> 01:07:41,164
- right now.
- With fucking Veronica Mars

1391
01:07:41,197 --> 01:07:43,033
over there...
look at those fucking glasses.

1392
01:07:43,066 --> 01:07:44,768
Are you fucking
kidding me right now?

1393
01:07:44,801 --> 01:07:46,237
- They're prescription.
- You don't even like her!

1394
01:07:46,270 --> 01:07:48,039
- Leave her out of this, this...
- No, I won't!

1395
01:07:48,072 --> 01:07:50,540
This is about you and you being
a fucking bitch right now!

1396
01:07:50,573 --> 01:07:52,243
- You're being the asshole!
- You're a fucking asshole!

1397
01:07:52,276 --> 01:07:54,011
You're supposed to be
having fun with me,

1398
01:07:54,045 --> 01:07:56,180
and you're not doing anything
but hanging out with that girl!

1399
01:07:56,213 --> 01:07:58,983
Everybody... everybody's trying
to fucking help you

1400
01:07:59,016 --> 01:08:01,085
and you're being
a shithead to everyone!

1401
01:08:01,118 --> 01:08:02,920
- Fuck you, fuck you!
- Fuck you, fuck you!

1402
01:08:02,954 --> 01:08:05,789
You're supposed to know better,
you know that my dad died!

1403
01:08:05,822 --> 01:08:08,026
My father is dead,

1404
01:08:08,060 --> 01:08:10,095
and you don't give a shit.

1405
01:08:10,128 --> 01:08:12,763
Nobody is ever here with me,
I'm alone!

1406
01:08:12,797 --> 01:08:14,632
I am always laughing,
I am always fun,

1407
01:08:14,665 --> 01:08:16,969
and it's like
I don't even have a voice!

1408
01:08:19,537 --> 01:08:22,640
I'm sorry your father's dead.

1409
01:08:28,213 --> 01:08:30,548
But now, this party's dead.

1410
01:08:30,581 --> 01:08:32,018
Oh, fuck, sorry.

1411
01:08:32,051 --> 01:08:34,753
Don't... no... I'm sorry...
no, no, no, no, yes, I am.

1412
01:08:34,786 --> 01:08:36,889
- Damnit.
- Let me fucking smack you!

1413
01:08:36,923 --> 01:08:38,958
- Let me slap you!
- I'm not gonna let you

1414
01:08:38,992 --> 01:08:42,627
- hit me again, stop.
- She's got problems, dude.

1415
01:08:42,661 --> 01:08:44,230
Stop, stop, stop.

1416
01:08:44,263 --> 01:08:46,598
Stop, stop.

1417
01:08:48,567 --> 01:08:51,204
Don't, please... sorry, everyone.

1418
01:08:51,237 --> 01:08:52,771
Come on, I just need
to get some more whiskey.

1419
01:08:52,804 --> 01:08:54,140
- Come on, let's get it.
- No, no, no, no, nope.

1420
01:08:54,173 --> 01:08:56,143
- No, come on, come on, come on.
- No, I just need...

1421
01:08:56,176 --> 01:08:57,844
- No, we're going.
- Let go of me!

1422
01:08:57,878 --> 01:08:59,779
We're going, we're going.

1423
01:08:59,812 --> 01:09:02,149
I just need some more whiskey.

1424
01:09:02,182 --> 01:09:04,051
Don't slam the door.

1425
01:09:16,629 --> 01:09:18,932
Heavy stuff, right?

1426
01:09:18,966 --> 01:09:22,037
Yeah.

1427
01:09:22,070 --> 01:09:23,804
You have any coke?

1428
01:09:25,706 --> 01:09:27,841
Have you ever been
to the desert?

1429
01:09:29,843 --> 01:09:32,646
I'm gonna take you home,
it's gonna be okay.

1430
01:09:32,679 --> 01:09:35,250
- All right.
- Okay, I don't need your help.

1431
01:09:37,052 --> 01:09:39,287
Oh, I need your help,
I'm gonna puke, hold my hair.

1432
01:09:39,320 --> 01:09:40,821
Okay.

1433
01:09:56,704 --> 01:09:58,640
Okay, yep.

1434
01:10:04,380 --> 01:10:06,714
You're all right.

1435
01:10:09,953 --> 01:10:11,922
It's okay.

1436
01:10:19,930 --> 01:10:21,932
Come on, let's go.

1437
01:10:21,965 --> 01:10:24,000
- Let's go.
- Let's do it.

1438
01:10:24,034 --> 01:10:25,335
Okay.

1439
01:10:25,368 --> 01:10:27,037
I'm gonna drive you home,
girl, get up.

1440
01:10:27,070 --> 01:10:29,072
Make your feet work,
make your legs work.

1441
01:10:29,106 --> 01:10:30,273
All the way up, all the way.

1442
01:10:32,110 --> 01:10:33,877
I got your purse.

1443
01:11:49,123 --> 01:11:50,723
Ugh, fuck.

1444
01:11:56,796 --> 01:11:59,233
So, what are you?

1445
01:12:03,404 --> 01:12:05,838
I'm a comedian.

1446
01:12:14,249 --> 01:12:16,318
What are... what are you?

1447
01:12:16,351 --> 01:12:19,054
I save lives.

1448
01:12:33,369 --> 01:12:35,404
Oh, yes.

1449
01:12:40,409 --> 01:12:42,478
Mm.

1450
01:12:45,982 --> 01:12:48,117
I thought Harper told me that
you were a dental hygienist.

1451
01:12:48,150 --> 01:12:50,386
Just because I wear scrubs
that doesn't mean

1452
01:12:50,419 --> 01:12:52,088
- I work for a dentist.
- Oh, because I always...

1453
01:12:54,490 --> 01:12:55,993
Hey, hey!

1454
01:12:56,026 --> 01:12:58,462
Morning, sunshine.

1455
01:12:58,495 --> 01:13:00,998
Oh, wow.

1456
01:13:01,031 --> 01:13:02,865
You look really bad.

1457
01:13:02,899 --> 01:13:05,168
Pop a seat here,
let me make you a plate.

1458
01:13:05,202 --> 01:13:07,371
- Alrighty.
- Good morning.

1459
01:13:07,404 --> 01:13:09,439
I am off to work.

1460
01:13:09,473 --> 01:13:11,141
On a Sunday?

1461
01:13:11,174 --> 01:13:13,410
Yep, no rest for
the convalescent.

1462
01:13:15,345 --> 01:13:17,547
Actually that's all they do.

1463
01:13:17,581 --> 01:13:20,118
The eggs were okay,
thank you, Justin.

1464
01:13:20,151 --> 01:13:23,087
- It's Dusty.
- Uh-huh.

1465
01:13:23,121 --> 01:13:25,490
Finally met your ghost roommate.

1466
01:13:29,093 --> 01:13:31,496
Roommate?

1467
01:13:31,529 --> 01:13:34,365
But, I don't have a roommate.

1468
01:13:34,399 --> 01:13:38,503
Whoa!

1469
01:13:38,536 --> 01:13:40,204
No, but seriously,

1470
01:13:40,238 --> 01:13:42,140
she is the worst.

1471
01:13:42,173 --> 01:13:45,010
Yeah, yeah.

1472
01:13:45,044 --> 01:13:46,844
Thank you.

1473
01:13:48,614 --> 01:13:50,382
Hey, I hope you don't mind,
I had to, uh...

1474
01:13:50,416 --> 01:13:53,118
I had to steal a sweatshirt
from you since you

1475
01:13:53,152 --> 01:13:54,920
donked all over me last night.

1476
01:13:54,953 --> 01:13:57,389
Ugh, God.

1477
01:13:57,423 --> 01:13:59,525
I'm so sorry.

1478
01:13:59,558 --> 01:14:02,094
- Don't worry about it.
- I feel so stupid.

1479
01:14:02,127 --> 01:14:04,496
Ah, you're not stupid,
you just drink too much.

1480
01:14:04,530 --> 01:14:06,365
It's not a big deal.

1481
01:14:09,269 --> 01:14:11,204
My dad sent me a card
in the mail.

1482
01:14:13,039 --> 01:14:15,375
Oh, God, it's so weird,
it's just from him.

1483
01:14:15,408 --> 01:14:17,911
Probably the first card
I've ever gotten just from him.

1484
01:14:17,944 --> 01:14:19,479
He must've sent it while he was
in the hospital or something,

1485
01:14:19,512 --> 01:14:21,381
I don't know,
but I can't look at it.

1486
01:14:23,216 --> 01:14:26,052
You haven't read it?

1487
01:14:26,086 --> 01:14:27,921
No.

1488
01:14:27,954 --> 01:14:30,889
I don't know, I... I can't do it.

1489
01:14:30,924 --> 01:14:32,460
Oh, God, I have
so many memories of him

1490
01:14:32,493 --> 01:14:34,528
from when I was a little kid.

1491
01:14:34,562 --> 01:14:36,530
He'd just make me laugh.

1492
01:14:36,564 --> 01:14:38,065
Whenever we'd leave
a restaurant,

1493
01:14:38,099 --> 01:14:40,201
he'd grab toothpicks,
and shove 'em

1494
01:14:40,234 --> 01:14:42,203
in between his teeth,
and so when we got in the car,

1495
01:14:42,236 --> 01:14:44,538
he'd turn around and be like,
"Got anything in my teeth?"

1496
01:14:46,307 --> 01:14:50,077
God, he was such a dork,
but I loved it.

1497
01:14:50,111 --> 01:14:53,047
And then, time went on,
and Dad started going away

1498
01:14:53,080 --> 01:14:55,984
a little bit more.

1499
01:14:56,017 --> 01:14:57,986
And then, it was
replaced with comments

1500
01:14:58,019 --> 01:15:00,255
about how I'm not good enough,
or smart enough,

1501
01:15:00,288 --> 01:15:03,225
or thin enough
for any of that stuff.

1502
01:15:05,260 --> 01:15:06,628
I thought it was just
gonna go on for a little bit,

1503
01:15:06,661 --> 01:15:08,497
like he was in a bad mood
or something,

1504
01:15:08,530 --> 01:15:10,298
but it went on for years.

1505
01:15:11,700 --> 01:15:13,335
Pissed me off so much.

1506
01:15:13,368 --> 01:15:15,570
Like all I did

1507
01:15:15,604 --> 01:15:17,706
was try to make him smile,

1508
01:15:17,739 --> 01:15:20,276
I'd try to make him laugh.

1509
01:15:20,309 --> 01:15:24,547
Tried to make him proud of me.

1510
01:15:24,580 --> 01:15:28,217
Nothing worked, so,

1511
01:15:28,251 --> 01:15:30,386
I just said, "Fuck it,
it's not worth my time,

1512
01:15:30,420 --> 01:15:33,256
I give up."

1513
01:15:33,289 --> 01:15:35,024
Then, he got cancer.

1514
01:15:37,293 --> 01:15:40,029
So, I flew home and all that.

1515
01:15:40,062 --> 01:15:42,632
I was expecting the same person,
I was expecting that asshole

1516
01:15:42,665 --> 01:15:45,102
that had been around
for so many years.

1517
01:15:49,540 --> 01:15:52,443
And it was him again,
from when I was a little kid.

1518
01:15:56,280 --> 01:15:59,450
He was telling jokes,
and having a good time,

1519
01:15:59,483 --> 01:16:01,452
and giving us hugs,
and everything.

1520
01:16:04,555 --> 01:16:06,457
It was everything I ever wanted.

1521
01:16:12,096 --> 01:16:14,999
And then, he died.

1522
01:16:15,033 --> 01:16:16,768
I can't open that letter
because if I do

1523
01:16:16,801 --> 01:16:19,571
it's gonna remind me
of everything I was cheated.

1524
01:16:21,606 --> 01:16:24,609
All that time, and for what?

1525
01:16:24,642 --> 01:16:27,612
He's gone, and all I have
is a fucking card.

1526
01:16:29,314 --> 01:16:31,750
Why would he do that?

1527
01:16:31,784 --> 01:16:34,086
Maybe he was afraid, uh...

1528
01:16:34,119 --> 01:16:35,588
Of his own daughter?

1529
01:16:38,057 --> 01:16:40,125
Afraid of being powerless,

1530
01:16:40,159 --> 01:16:43,195
or not living up to
his expectations or yours.

1531
01:16:45,431 --> 01:16:48,567
Such a waste of fucking time.

1532
01:16:48,601 --> 01:16:51,103
I can't live my life like that,
I won't do it.

1533
01:16:51,136 --> 01:16:52,571
I would think...

1534
01:16:52,605 --> 01:16:53,772
If that's the case, I think
you're gonna have to

1535
01:16:53,806 --> 01:16:56,643
read that letter.

1536
01:16:56,676 --> 01:16:58,411
Oh, God.

1537
01:16:58,445 --> 01:16:59,746
Listen, I'm not saying you
have to go over there

1538
01:16:59,779 --> 01:17:01,348
and open it right now.

1539
01:17:01,381 --> 01:17:04,217
Do it whenever you feel ready,
honestly.

1540
01:17:04,251 --> 01:17:07,621
But, the longer you let it
sit in that drawer,

1541
01:17:07,654 --> 01:17:09,756
the longer it's just
gonna eat you up inside,

1542
01:17:09,789 --> 01:17:13,226
and that's not fair to anyone,
especially not you.

1543
01:17:13,260 --> 01:17:15,395
Yeah, yeah, you're right.

1544
01:17:17,464 --> 01:17:19,500
Oh, my God, I smacked you,
didn't I?

1545
01:17:19,534 --> 01:17:22,103
Yeah, pretty, pretty good, too.

1546
01:17:22,136 --> 01:17:23,838
God, I smacked you so hard.

1547
01:17:23,871 --> 01:17:26,440
- I'm so sorry.
- You kept swinging.

1548
01:17:26,474 --> 01:17:29,176
- Oh, God.
- I actually typically have to

1549
01:17:29,210 --> 01:17:31,712
pay women 50, 60 bucks
to get that kind of abuse,

1550
01:17:31,746 --> 01:17:34,582
so I felt like
I came out on top of that deal.

1551
01:17:34,615 --> 01:17:36,817
I know, that girl,
tell her I'm so sorry.

1552
01:17:36,851 --> 01:17:39,520
- She was really, really nice.
- Veronica Rebecca?

1553
01:17:39,554 --> 01:17:41,589
- Holy shit.
- Christine's already texted me.

1554
01:17:41,622 --> 01:17:43,659
She's fine, she had
a couple hilarious jokes

1555
01:17:43,692 --> 01:17:45,394
about last night, and so.

1556
01:17:45,427 --> 01:17:48,764
- You were so mean.
- Oh, God, I'm so sorry.

1557
01:17:51,366 --> 01:17:54,336
Hey, do you want my advice?

1558
01:17:54,369 --> 01:17:56,171
Yeah.

1559
01:17:56,204 --> 01:17:58,340
Please, go ahead.

1560
01:17:58,373 --> 01:18:00,375
I think you should
take the day off,

1561
01:18:00,409 --> 01:18:03,178
order some junk food,
a chicken-fried steak,

1562
01:18:03,211 --> 01:18:05,881
fries, chili, cheese,

1563
01:18:05,915 --> 01:18:07,650
anything that you could
think of,

1564
01:18:07,684 --> 01:18:11,120
get under a blanket,
get a bunch of bad movies going.

1565
01:18:11,154 --> 01:18:13,323
Yeah, we can watch
a bunch of kung fu movies.

1566
01:18:13,356 --> 01:18:16,659
I think you're gonna
have to do it alone.

1567
01:18:16,693 --> 01:18:19,862
You probably just need to
avoid some distractions,

1568
01:18:19,896 --> 01:18:22,432
and just spend the day

1569
01:18:22,465 --> 01:18:25,201
putting in some good energy,
reflecting on things,

1570
01:18:25,234 --> 01:18:27,737
and taking care of
what you need to take care of.

1571
01:18:27,770 --> 01:18:30,306
Then on Monday, you'll wake up
and you start doing

1572
01:18:30,340 --> 01:18:32,343
what you just told me.

1573
01:18:32,376 --> 01:18:34,178
What's that?

1574
01:18:34,211 --> 01:18:35,813
Stop fucking wasting time.

1575
01:18:39,216 --> 01:18:40,317
- Yeah, I'm right.
- Okay.

1576
01:18:42,486 --> 01:18:44,388
You're right.

1577
01:18:44,421 --> 01:18:47,291
Hey, um, I actually have to go.

1578
01:18:47,324 --> 01:18:49,560
I have a deadline
for a spec pilot

1579
01:18:49,593 --> 01:18:50,861
that I've been
putting off a little bit.

1580
01:18:50,894 --> 01:18:52,830
Just hearing those words
come out of my mouth

1581
01:18:52,863 --> 01:18:54,832
feels a little douchey,
so I apologize,

1582
01:18:54,865 --> 01:18:57,335
- but, uh...
- I'm... I'm proud of you.

1583
01:18:59,371 --> 01:19:02,507
Will you also wash my jeans?

1584
01:19:02,540 --> 01:19:04,442
- Yes, sorry.
- You think an Uber will let me

1585
01:19:04,476 --> 01:19:07,512
get into a car like this,
or is it too sexy?

1586
01:19:07,545 --> 01:19:09,581
Wanna borrow
some of my leggings?

1587
01:19:09,614 --> 01:19:11,483
Maybe.

1588
01:19:11,516 --> 01:19:12,717
- All right, let's do this.
- Go get 'em, tiger.

1589
01:19:12,751 --> 01:19:14,619
Yeah, let's do this.

1590
01:19:20,459 --> 01:19:22,561
- I'm gonna go.
- Okay.

1591
01:19:22,595 --> 01:19:24,563
All right,
I'll talk to you Monday.

1592
01:19:24,597 --> 01:19:25,898
- Okay.
- All right, bye.

1593
01:19:25,932 --> 01:19:27,767
Bye.

1594
01:19:40,579 --> 01:19:43,550
♪ I've been busy
filling up pages ♪

1595
01:19:47,320 --> 01:19:52,359
♪ I've been busy
filling up rooms ♪

1596
01:19:54,394 --> 01:19:59,433
♪ I'm all done with
scheming and cobwebs ♪

1597
01:19:59,466 --> 01:20:02,436
♪ Been heavier than you ♪

1598
01:20:08,010 --> 01:20:14,682
♪ I've been busy
giving up silos ♪

1599
01:20:14,716 --> 01:20:21,589
♪ Selling all the storage
for cash ♪

1600
01:20:21,622 --> 01:20:26,962
♪ Giving her the cars
and the waters ♪

1601
01:20:26,995 --> 01:20:30,465
♪ Where's the splash ♪

1602
01:20:30,498 --> 01:20:33,002
Flora, you sly son of a bitch.

1603
01:20:34,837 --> 01:20:41,877
♪ I will crawl to you empty ♪

1604
01:20:41,911 --> 01:20:48,584
♪ Throw away my silver spoon ♪

1605
01:20:48,617 --> 01:20:52,387
♪ I will come to you empty ♪

1606
01:20:56,026 --> 01:20:58,461
♪ Give them better news ♪

1607
01:21:02,398 --> 01:21:05,301
♪ I will crawl to you empty ♪

1608
01:21:09,372 --> 01:21:12,609
♪ Hope you never even
see the chains ♪

1609
01:21:15,946 --> 01:21:19,951
♪ I will come to you empty ♪

1610
01:21:23,521 --> 01:21:25,756
♪ With no hustle left ♪

1611
01:21:54,053 --> 01:21:56,588
Hey, um, Kyle,
is this for a role?

1612
01:21:56,621 --> 01:21:58,657
Because I need to put it
in your schedule today.

1613
01:21:58,690 --> 01:22:01,127
I don't think I'm gonna
do this pilot anymore.

1614
01:22:01,160 --> 01:22:03,930
Why?

1615
01:22:03,963 --> 01:22:07,600
What we talked about
on Saturday, and...

1616
01:22:07,633 --> 01:22:11,004
I don't know
if you can notice, but,

1617
01:22:11,038 --> 01:22:13,040
I've changed.

1618
01:22:16,143 --> 01:22:19,612
There was a moment
in the desert

1619
01:22:19,645 --> 01:22:23,382
as the sun rose in the east,

1620
01:22:23,416 --> 01:22:26,419
an eagle flew

1621
01:22:26,452 --> 01:22:29,923
across the horizon,

1622
01:22:29,957 --> 01:22:32,826
landed right in front of me,

1623
01:22:32,860 --> 01:22:36,697
looked me in the eye,

1624
01:22:36,730 --> 01:22:39,600
told me I had a different path.

1625
01:22:39,633 --> 01:22:43,403
- Talked to you?
- With its eyes, yes.

1626
01:22:43,437 --> 01:22:46,140
What it'd say?

1627
01:22:46,174 --> 01:22:48,675
It said I had to dance,
specifically hip-hop.

1628
01:22:48,709 --> 01:22:49,978
That's great, I mean,

1629
01:22:50,011 --> 01:22:52,679
what about the pilot, though?

1630
01:22:52,713 --> 01:22:56,451
Uhh...

1631
01:22:56,484 --> 01:22:58,120
I don't know how long
this crazy ride

1632
01:22:58,153 --> 01:23:00,588
can go on, Harper.

1633
01:23:00,622 --> 01:23:02,724
I never really wanted it...
I mean, no, I did,

1634
01:23:02,757 --> 01:23:04,792
I really, really wanted it,
but now,

1635
01:23:04,826 --> 01:23:07,629
just...

1636
01:23:07,662 --> 01:23:09,697
I think deep down, I'm a...

1637
01:23:15,004 --> 01:23:17,106
I'm just really sad.

1638
01:23:19,142 --> 01:23:20,676
You can't be sad, man,
you're one of

1639
01:23:20,709 --> 01:23:22,711
the most positive people I know.

1640
01:23:26,515 --> 01:23:28,784
Do you know why I hired you
as my personal assistant?

1641
01:23:30,719 --> 01:23:32,554
'Cause you needed to get a lot
of work done, and needed help.

1642
01:23:32,588 --> 01:23:34,690
My agent asked to me
to hire a personal assistant

1643
01:23:34,723 --> 01:23:37,994
to look more high profile.

1644
01:23:38,028 --> 01:23:40,063
And I did it, because I, uh...

1645
01:23:42,498 --> 01:23:44,467
Just needed a friend.

1646
01:23:47,904 --> 01:23:50,740
Kyle Fairchild, I know,
must have just like

1647
01:23:50,774 --> 01:23:54,111
a butt load of fucking friends,
but...

1648
01:23:54,145 --> 01:23:55,912
I don't.

1649
01:23:57,814 --> 01:24:01,185
It's not even my loft.

1650
01:24:01,218 --> 01:24:03,820
It's an Airbnb.

1651
01:24:03,853 --> 01:24:06,756
I'm sick of this.

1652
01:24:06,790 --> 01:24:10,128
I miss my family back home.

1653
01:24:10,162 --> 01:24:11,662
- Don't they live here?
- They're like

1654
01:24:11,696 --> 01:24:13,831
always on vacation.

1655
01:24:15,968 --> 01:24:19,171
Well, you know what?

1656
01:24:19,204 --> 01:24:21,006
I am your friend, and I think

1657
01:24:21,039 --> 01:24:23,908
you're gonna get
everything you want in life.

1658
01:24:38,191 --> 01:24:41,194
Okay.

1659
01:24:41,227 --> 01:24:43,895
- I'll do the pilot.
- Yay!

1660
01:24:43,930 --> 01:24:45,530
I'm still gonna take
the dance classes

1661
01:24:45,564 --> 01:24:47,566
- I signed up for.
- Well, that's perfect then,

1662
01:24:47,599 --> 01:24:50,702
because this show might named
Untitled Rap Musical.

1663
01:24:52,271 --> 01:24:55,009
The fuck out of here.

1664
01:24:57,877 --> 01:24:59,947
- Eagle knew.
- Yeah.

1665
01:24:59,980 --> 01:25:02,548
Yeah, it did.

1666
01:25:02,582 --> 01:25:05,252
Hi, guys,
we're going to the theater.

1667
01:25:05,285 --> 01:25:07,321
Okay, your laugh
looked really unnatural,

1668
01:25:07,354 --> 01:25:09,056
so, like, let's try it again.

1669
01:25:09,089 --> 01:25:11,691
Hi, guys,
so we're really excited,

1670
01:25:11,724 --> 01:25:13,927
- 'cause we're going out tonight.
- Mhm.

1671
01:25:13,961 --> 01:25:15,728
Which is so cool, right?

1672
01:25:15,762 --> 01:25:17,031
- Everyone wants to do that...
- Oh, hey.

1673
01:25:17,064 --> 01:25:18,564
Hey.

1674
01:25:21,069 --> 01:25:23,238
Uh, this is Jen, my girlfriend
that I told you about.

1675
01:25:23,271 --> 01:25:25,006
Oh, my gosh,
he's told me all about you.

1676
01:25:25,040 --> 01:25:27,242
Oh, uh, the neighbor, right?

1677
01:25:27,275 --> 01:25:28,909
Yeah, we borrow
each other's sugar

1678
01:25:28,943 --> 01:25:31,346
- from time to time.
- Yeah.

1679
01:25:31,379 --> 01:25:32,780
Oh, cool.

1680
01:25:34,615 --> 01:25:36,884
Grocery day,
you're using those, uh, coupons?

1681
01:25:36,917 --> 01:25:38,685
Yeah, um,

1682
01:25:38,719 --> 01:25:40,221
just picking up stuff
for a juice cleanse,

1683
01:25:40,255 --> 01:25:42,223
you know, typical LA bullshit.

1684
01:25:42,257 --> 01:25:44,160
Not at all,
cleanses are really great.

1685
01:25:44,193 --> 01:25:46,062
I mean, I do them all the time.

1686
01:25:46,095 --> 01:25:48,064
They're really good for you.

1687
01:25:48,097 --> 01:25:49,631
She says that.

1688
01:25:49,664 --> 01:25:51,133
We're going to
the Greek Theater,

1689
01:25:51,167 --> 01:25:52,767
- we're gonna see a show.
- Oh, cool.

1690
01:25:52,801 --> 01:25:54,336
Yeah, Imaginary Dragons,
they're like

1691
01:25:54,370 --> 01:25:57,605
the best metal band ever.

1692
01:25:57,639 --> 01:25:59,707
- Well, have fun.
- Yeah.

1693
01:25:59,741 --> 01:26:01,843
Aren't you
doing anything tonight?

1694
01:26:01,876 --> 01:26:04,779
Uh, yeah, actually, um,

1695
01:26:04,813 --> 01:26:06,714
- I am.
- Oh, awesome.

1696
01:26:06,748 --> 01:26:08,318
- Nice meeting you.
- Nice meeting you, too.

1697
01:26:08,351 --> 01:26:11,054
- Okay.
- All right, have fun, guys.

1698
01:26:11,088 --> 01:26:12,989
Bye.

1699
01:26:15,358 --> 01:26:17,194
I think that
that worked kind of,

1700
01:26:17,227 --> 01:26:19,930
but... but we got, like,
this weird kind of...

1701
01:26:19,963 --> 01:26:22,698
like unknown energy that
I'm really just not digging.

1702
01:26:38,416 --> 01:26:40,784
Greg, I'm home!

1703
01:27:15,087 --> 01:27:16,854
Okay.

1704
01:31:24,080 --> 01:31:27,583
♪ Lord knows I've been up ♪

1705
01:31:27,617 --> 01:31:32,288
♪ Lord knows I've been down ♪

1706
01:31:32,321 --> 01:31:35,591
♪ I've been down
every beaten path ♪

1707
01:31:35,625 --> 01:31:39,695
♪ On a merry-go round ♪

1708
01:31:39,729 --> 01:31:43,534
♪ Lord knows I've been good ♪

1709
01:31:43,567 --> 01:31:48,238
♪ Less times than bad ♪

1710
01:31:48,272 --> 01:31:51,442
♪ Hell I've done
ruin every thing ♪

1711
01:31:51,475 --> 01:31:55,679
♪ that I ever had ♪

1712
01:31:55,712 --> 01:31:58,682
♪ Just take me on
that long ride ♪

1713
01:31:58,715 --> 01:32:04,121
♪ Through the night and just
get me back home ♪

1714
01:32:04,154 --> 01:32:07,459
♪ Cause I've done seen
everything that I need ♪

1715
01:32:07,492 --> 01:32:11,696
♪ And I'd rather be alone ♪

1716
01:32:11,729 --> 01:32:14,699
♪ Oh just take me
on that long ride ♪

1717
01:32:14,732 --> 01:32:20,205
♪ Through the night
and just get me back home ♪

1718
01:32:20,238 --> 01:32:23,441
♪ Cause I've done seen
everything that I need ♪

1719
01:32:23,475 --> 01:32:26,478
♪ And I'd rather be alone ♪

1720
01:32:32,751 --> 01:32:34,320
30 EA, take one.

1721
01:32:37,289 --> 01:32:38,757
And go ahead, guys.

1722
01:32:38,791 --> 01:32:41,193
My people were always
telling me, like, I need a...

1723
01:32:41,227 --> 01:32:43,529
like a coat like this,
and I'm like, uh...

1724
01:32:43,562 --> 01:32:46,232
why... what... how do I even
get something like that?

1725
01:32:46,265 --> 01:32:48,467
- Yo, you came to the right guy.
- Ha!

1726
01:32:48,501 --> 01:32:49,702
- Yeah?
- Yeah, you can just hire me

1727
01:32:49,735 --> 01:32:51,270
- as your stylist.
- You serious?

1728
01:32:51,303 --> 01:32:53,372
- Yeah.
- You know who I am, right?

1729
01:32:53,405 --> 01:32:55,709
- I do now.
- Ow!

1730
01:32:55,742 --> 01:32:57,677
Yeah, don't even, like, joke
that you don't know who I am,

1731
01:32:57,711 --> 01:33:00,313
- right?
- This guy.

1732
01:33:00,347 --> 01:33:05,552
♪ Fuck ♪

1733
01:33:05,585 --> 01:33:06,820
All right, good.

1734
01:33:08,488 --> 01:33:10,357
Cam cuts.

1735
01:33:12,492 --> 01:33:15,008
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