1 00:00:01,334 --> 00:00:03,461 This is exciting! 2 00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:05,714 First practice of the season for the Gators! 3 00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:08,842 L.A. youth soccer's premier team...for fun! 4 00:00:08,925 --> 00:00:10,802 I know I'm excited. By the look of it, 5 00:00:10,885 --> 00:00:13,096 you guys are a version 6 00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:14,389 - of excited, too. - (yawns) 7 00:00:14,472 --> 00:00:16,099 Now, I know we didn't have the most wins last season. 8 00:00:16,182 --> 00:00:18,101 - We had zero. - That is true. That is accurate. 9 00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:20,103 It's an actual number. We had zero wins. 10 00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:22,981 But guess what. I don't care. 'Cause I'm all about 11 00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:26,026 having fun and celebrating the kinetic energy of life, right? 12 00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:28,361 So I want you to get up, get on that field, 13 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:31,322 and, guys, just be kind to yourselves, okay? 14 00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:33,533 "No pressure" on three. One, two, three! 15 00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:35,076 - WILL: No pressure! - (meekly) No pressure. 16 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:36,411 Alright, let's get up and kick the ball around, okay? 17 00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:37,579 - Okay. - Okay. 18 00:00:37,662 --> 00:00:40,206 - (indistinct conversations) - Dad, come on. 19 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:42,751 What's with the entire "winning doesn't matter" thing? 20 00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:44,294 You can't possibly believe that. 21 00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:47,672 Uh, get to know me. Will Cooper, your biological and day-to-day father. 22 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:49,007 I don't give a beaver's dam about winning. 23 00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:51,384 All I care about is fun, sportsmanship, 24 00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:52,844 and making memories with my daughter 25 00:00:52,927 --> 00:00:54,637 I can use at my speech at her wedding, alright? 26 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,347 Now, come on. Hit me with that Gator shake. 27 00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:57,432 (grunting) 28 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:04,731 In case you were wondering, that moment did not go well. 29 00:01:04,814 --> 00:01:06,900 Rory! Poppy! Did you come to cheer us on to start off the season? 30 00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:09,694 No. Does anyone come to cheer the team on at practice? 31 00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,571 We do have our die-hards. 32 00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:14,741 Let the games begin. 33 00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:18,495 Oh. Hey, Ror, will you give me and Will a minute? 34 00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:20,330 Sure. I'll go grab a drink and a nibble. 35 00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:22,624 Will, where is the café? 36 00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,417 Uh, this is a soccer field. 37 00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:27,128 Cute how you think that means something to me. 38 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:30,173 POPPY: (chuckles) Hey, I was wondering. 39 00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:32,092 Is there any room on the team for Rory? 40 00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:34,886 Rory? Does he do...sports? 41 00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:37,931 Oh, never. But I think being on a team will be good for him. 42 00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:40,892 Now that he's class president, he's become too self-involved. 43 00:01:40,975 --> 00:01:43,770 Last week, he had a self-portrait commissioned. 44 00:01:43,853 --> 00:01:45,563 - I gotta balance that out. - Okay. 45 00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:47,482 Well, all I ask is that he care a little. 46 00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:50,276 I mean, team morale is kinda low. 47 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,112 (girl grunts) 48 00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:55,115 We...suck. 49 00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:56,866 So, is that a yes? 50 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,618 He's on the team? I need him to be on the team. 51 00:01:58,701 --> 00:02:00,078 Yes, he's on the team. 52 00:02:00,161 --> 00:02:01,788 Oh, thank you! And, by the way, 53 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,331 don't feel like you have to play him right away. 54 00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:05,083 He's literally never kicked a ball in his life. 55 00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:07,919 Ew! Get that thing away from me! 56 00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:14,634 ♪♪ 57 00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:16,010 (children gasp) 58 00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:17,679 Did I just do a soccer? 59 00:02:17,887 --> 00:02:21,933 ♪♪ 60 00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:24,519 ♪♪ 61 00:02:24,602 --> 00:02:26,604 - Hello, Angie. - (screams) I'll kill you! 62 00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:30,316 {\an8}Sorry. Reflex. (sweetly) Hi. 63 00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:33,862 {\an8}- You like living in my sauna? - Like it? 64 00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:35,572 {\an8}Graham and I love it. 65 00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:38,575 {\an8}Our pores are so open, I'm afraid our souls will escape. 66 00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:40,243 {\an8}Enough of the small talk. 67 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:44,038 {\an8}I'm here as your landlord to, uh, report an incident. 68 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:46,040 {\an8}♪♪ 69 00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:47,542 {\an8}How was your day? 70 00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:52,088 {\an8}So, Graham asked you how your day was. 71 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,381 {\an8}How is that an incident? 72 00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:55,466 {\an8}I'm an American man! 73 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:59,012 {\an8}I go into the world and I suffer through my day 74 00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:02,056 {\an8}with the understanding that when I return at home, 75 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:05,768 {\an8}my suffering is going to be rewarded in three ways -- 76 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:06,853 a Scotch, 77 00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:09,772 {\an8}a JAG rerun that I haven't seen in a while, 78 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,357 {\an8}and silence. 79 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,109 {\an8}That ship's sailed, buddy. 80 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,111 {\an8}You took us in in our time of need. 81 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,696 {\an8}Graham is basically your shelter dog. 82 00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:19,532 {\an8}Yeah, well, you know what? I don't want a shelter dog. 83 00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:22,785 {\an8}No one really does. But now you got one. 84 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:25,538 {\an8}And he's gonna follow you around, talk to you. 85 00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,916 {\an8}You have kids. Don't they talk to you? 86 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,417 {\an8}We live by a shared code 87 00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,920 {\an8}of mutual disinterest in each other's lives. 88 00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:33,546 {\an8}That's weird, man. 89 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,632 {\an8}But this is Graham. He's sweet. 90 00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:38,593 {\an8}He's like if a cinnamon bun wanted to give you a hug. 91 00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:40,303 {\an8}He just wants to be close to you. 92 00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:41,888 {\an8}See it as a nice thing. 93 00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:43,973 {\an8}Nah. If you want to keep living here, 94 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:47,393 {\an8}you're gonna have to tell him to give me my personal space. 95 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,437 {\an8}And while you're at it, let him know to keep his hands 96 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:50,772 {\an8}off my Raisinets. 97 00:03:50,855 --> 00:03:52,398 {\an8}Those are my JAG snacks. 98 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,692 Hey. I -- I'm sorry. 99 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:56,152 I will definitely talk to him. 100 00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:00,323 (sighs) 101 00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:03,576 Keep buyin' 'em if you want, old man. 102 00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,828 I'll just steal 'em again. 103 00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:09,207 SOPHIE: Dad, check it out! 104 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,668 BOTH: ♪ You're so bad, we're so good ♪ 105 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:14,337 ♪ Welcome to the Gator-hood ♪ 106 00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:17,924 (cheers and applause) 107 00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:19,842 Oh, my God. I just got a thumbs up. 108 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,970 That's like the universal symbol for "I love you, Daddy. 109 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,554 Because of you, I'm confident enough 110 00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:24,973 - to never date a bad man." - Ohh. 111 00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:26,099 It's all because of Rory. 112 00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:28,268 Well, who knew he'd be so good at sports? 113 00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:30,228 I mean, he still calls basketball "the orange one." 114 00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:32,105 - (laughs) - Now look at him. 115 00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:33,982 Gosh. He's doing the Gator chant. 116 00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:36,818 Ooh! He's a team player. My plan is working. 117 00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:38,987 I mean, because of him, we actually have a fighting chance 118 00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:40,446 - at the tournament this weekend. - Mm-hmm. 119 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:42,240 Uh, which reminds me -- I need a copy of 120 00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:44,158 - Rory's birth certificate. - Birth certificate? 121 00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:46,369 - For a kids' soccer league? - Yeah, just to prove his age. 122 00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:47,662 'Cause it's a 9-and-under league. 123 00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:51,374 Oh. Well, you know Rory. He's 9. We good? 124 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:54,043 No, actually. League policy. 125 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,920 If I don't have a copy of his birth certificate, 126 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:57,046 Rory can't play. 127 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,464 Uh-huh, uh-huh. 128 00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,758 Well, I mean, if you must know, 129 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:05,138 that document has been lost in a -- a mudslide. 130 00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:06,723 - You were in a mudslide? - Mm-hmm. 131 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:09,058 Or was it a hurricane? Hurricane...Edith. 132 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,768 Yes. I'm surprised you don't remember, Will. 133 00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,478 You're a weatherman. Shame on you. 134 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,605 So, you lost Rory's birth certificate 135 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:17,734 in a hurricane that hit Louisiana in 1971? 136 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:20,111 Come at a weatherman... 137 00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:21,904 ya best not miss. 138 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:24,490 - (fingers snapping) - Stay...tuned...for...traffic. 139 00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:27,994 Okay, it was a fire, and the, um -- 140 00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:29,996 Poppy, what's going on? 141 00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:33,833 Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. 142 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,878 Rory isn't 9. He's 10. 143 00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:39,005 - No, he's not. - Yes, he is. 144 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:43,051 Wait. So the Ryan Murphy-themed birthday party for a 9-year-old I went to 145 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:45,094 was actually a Ryan Murphy-themed birthday party for a -- 146 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,554 A 10-year-old, yeah. 147 00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:48,139 'Cause he wasn't turning 9. He was actually turning -- 148 00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:49,682 10. 10. 149 00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,351 Oh, my God. Rory's 10?! 150 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:54,729 He's 10. And he doesn't know. He doesn't know his real age. 151 00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:57,398 Okay. Okay. 152 00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:59,233 (chuckles) Okay. Okay. 153 00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:01,402 - It's not okay. - No. 154 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,864 Hey. What are you doing? 155 00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:07,367 - Waiting by the door. - For what? 156 00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:10,661 When Douglas comes home, I thought maybe we'd hang. 157 00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:13,498 Throw back some root beer, play some Twister. 158 00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:15,792 - See where the night takes us. - You know, as much as 159 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:18,920 I'd pay to see that, we should talk. 160 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:23,758 Buddy. I think you need to give Douglas some space. 161 00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:26,636 - Why? - Because he's not normal. 162 00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:28,471 And he's from a generation 163 00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:31,057 where it was okay to give your children to firefighters. 164 00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:33,726 But, you know, we're his guests, and if we want to stay here, 165 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:36,062 we have to respect his particular way of living. 166 00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:38,606 But I care about Douglas. 167 00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:40,983 How am I supposed to pretend that I don't? 168 00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:43,069 (door opens) 169 00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:45,363 Oh, great. People. 170 00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:47,448 Doug...las. 171 00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:49,784 Evenin'. 172 00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:51,536 And to you. 173 00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:55,248 Did I do good, Mom?! Was I coldhearted enough? 174 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:56,958 Oh, buddy. You were great. 175 00:06:57,041 --> 00:06:58,751 But I have so many questions. 176 00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:01,337 He had a soup stain on his shirt. How did it get there? 177 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:04,841 Was it a "cream of," and if so, of what? 178 00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:07,844 My guess is he was eating soup while wearing a shirt. 179 00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:08,928 End of story. 180 00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:11,931 So, I'm just supposed to leave him alone? 181 00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:13,391 Show no interest? 182 00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:14,684 Pretty much. 183 00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:17,186 Well, today I've learned a valuable lesson -- 184 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,605 if you care about someone, keep it to yourself. 185 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:22,859 Mom...how do I learn to be dead inside like you? 186 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,361 (sighs) Buddy. Uh... 187 00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:30,825 I'll tell you one day. But not today, okay? 188 00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:32,952 Forget what I said. You just -- 189 00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:35,413 Don't change who you are. Be yourself. 190 00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:37,999 Even if that means annoying the crap out of Douglas. 191 00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:40,626 - You mean it, Mom? - Yes! Ohh! 192 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:43,629 That giant'll just have to deal with it. 193 00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,715 He's not the only giant in the house. 194 00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:47,425 I'm feeling 10 feet tall! 195 00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:50,595 Douglas! Douglas, where are you?! 196 00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:52,889 ♪♪ 197 00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:55,933 Well, we had a good run. 198 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:59,312 I'll miss you, rich guy's house. 199 00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:01,647 I can't believe it. Rory is 10?! 200 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,858 Okay, okay. Keep your voice down, alright? 201 00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:06,319 Nobody knows this except, well, me, Ron, 202 00:08:06,402 --> 00:08:07,820 our pediatrician, and Miggy. 203 00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:09,489 - Miggy knows? - Yeah. 204 00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:11,657 You know we like to share secrets through the vent. 205 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:13,826 Okay, I'll say it. I've never washed my jeans. 206 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,161 Yeah, well, you think that's bad? 207 00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:18,122 - Rory doesn't know his real age. - What? 208 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:20,249 Okay, I'm very jealous of vent time and want in somehow, 209 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,752 but I -- I still don't understand. 210 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:23,836 I know it's hard to believe, 211 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,505 but Rory was really small for his age. 212 00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,924 He just -- He fit in better with the younger kids, 213 00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,092 - so I held him back. - Okay, but why lie about it? 214 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,845 Because I didn't want him to have the stigma of being left back. 215 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,722 I mean, I was gonna tell him down the line, 216 00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:36,349 but now I am in deep. 217 00:08:36,432 --> 00:08:39,185 I mean, this is like (sighs) when I got bangs. 218 00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:41,687 I've had bangs. This is nothing like that. 219 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,273 But I'm sorry you've had to carry this around with you. 220 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,234 - It's a lot. - Thank you for saying that. 221 00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:49,612 But as much as I hate to say it, Rory can't play on the Gators. 222 00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:52,782 You know our team motto -- "We don't cheat." 223 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,910 No. Sorry. That's it. There's no spin or anything. 224 00:08:55,993 --> 00:08:58,871 No, I get it, I get it. And it just sucks, 225 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:01,249 especially considering how being on a winning team 226 00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:02,959 has brought you and Sophie closer. 227 00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:06,379 Yeah, it has, but... I guess that goes away. 228 00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:08,673 - Or does it...? - Poppy? 229 00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:11,634 Look, you and Sophie can have a whole winning season. 230 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,512 Imagine. State playoffs in Sacramento. 231 00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:16,180 You and her, sharing a hotel room. 232 00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:18,349 You send her down the hallway to get ice all by herself 233 00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:19,642 because you trust her. 234 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:22,270 - She'd feel so empowered. - Exactly. 235 00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:24,522 And all you have to do is keep a teeny, tiny secret. 236 00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:27,692 Dad, come see what we did to the Gator chant! 237 00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:31,237 Rory says he knows a Laker girl who can dance it out! 238 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,197 So cool! I'll be right there, honey! 239 00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,408 - Alright. I'm in. - (exhales sharply) 240 00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:37,243 Don't look down, Pop-pop. 241 00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:39,078 I'm a bad bitch now. 242 00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:41,455 Ooh! Yes, Lizzo. 243 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:47,253 ♪♪ 244 00:09:47,336 --> 00:09:49,922 (children shouting) 245 00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,925 Alright. Game day. Sophie, how we doing? 246 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,760 - We're gonna win! - (laughs) 247 00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,637 We're gonna get so much ice in Sacramento! 248 00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:59,932 - What? - (scoffs) You'll see. 249 00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:02,977 WILL: Poppy, are we really doing this? 250 00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:04,937 - Are you cracking? - Of course I'm cracking! 251 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:08,316 Relax, okay? Will, all you got to do is keep the secret in your mouth, 252 00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,151 and keep your mouth...shut. 253 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:13,112 We have the makings of a solid death pact. 254 00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:14,196 (whistle blows) 255 00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:16,198 ♪ And a man's got to learn to take it ♪ 256 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,367 ♪ Try to believe while the going gets rough ♪ 257 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:19,535 Rory! Come on! 258 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,037 ♪ That you gotta hang tough to make it ♪ 259 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,456 ♪ Never doubt that you're the one ♪ 260 00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:25,583 ♪ And you can have your dreams ♪ 261 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,169 ♪ You're the best around ♪ 262 00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:29,253 - (cheers and applause) - Yeah! 263 00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:30,880 ♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪ 264 00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:33,424 ♪ You're the best around ♪ 265 00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:35,843 ♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪ 266 00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:38,262 Take a load off. I made lunch. 267 00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:42,558 ♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪ 268 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,311 ♪ Down ♪ 269 00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:46,854 (grunting) 270 00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:48,939 ♪ Fight till the end, 'cause your life will depend ♪ 271 00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:51,192 ♪ On the strength that you have inside you ♪ 272 00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:53,611 - (cheers and applause) - Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! 273 00:10:53,694 --> 00:10:55,488 MAN: The Gators are unstoppable! 274 00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:56,822 Yeah! Uh-huh. 275 00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:59,450 - ♪ Try your best to win them all ♪ - Rory. Rory! 276 00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:01,494 - RORY: Yeah! - ♪ One day time will tell ♪ 277 00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:03,371 ♪ When you're the one that's standing there ♪ 278 00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:05,831 Need a caddy? Want to hit the green? 279 00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:09,502 - ♪ You're the best around ♪ - Come on! Get 'em! 280 00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:11,921 ♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪ 281 00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:14,590 ♪ You're the best around ♪ 282 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,967 ♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪ 283 00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:19,553 ♪ You're the best around ♪ 284 00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:21,180 ♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪ 285 00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:23,057 G-o-o-o-o! 286 00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:25,351 ♪♪ 287 00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:27,520 Yeah! Yeah! 288 00:11:27,603 --> 00:11:30,481 - (cheers and applause) - Yeah! 289 00:11:30,564 --> 00:11:33,150 - Aaaah! - (laughs) 290 00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,694 ♪♪ 291 00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:36,904 Ye-a-a-a-ah! 292 00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:40,408 WILL: Ye-a-a-a-ah! (laughs) 293 00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,743 Yes! Yes! Yeah! 294 00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:44,954 - Whoo! - Yaaah! 295 00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:47,790 MAN: The Gators are headed for the championship! 296 00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,041 Ye-a-a-a-ah! 297 00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:50,751 GRAHAM: Hey. Douglas? 298 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:53,045 I've been trying to figure this thing out, 299 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,798 and it's nothing like tying your shoes. 300 00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:56,882 You got a minute? 301 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,801 No, no. I-I don't have a minute. 302 00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:01,971 - Okay. I'll come back later. - No, no! No, no. 303 00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:03,472 Don't -- Don't -- Don't come back. 304 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,099 Come on. What is it with you, kid? 305 00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:07,017 What do you want to hang out with an old man for, anyway, huh? 306 00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:08,686 Because I care about you. 307 00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:11,147 Let me release you from that obligation. 308 00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:14,567 That is the greatest gift that one person can give to another. 309 00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:16,277 Just because we live under the same roof, 310 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,696 we're still in this alone, okay? 311 00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:21,198 - What's "this"? - This. 312 00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:24,785 This! Life! It's all pointless! 313 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:25,953 You want to know how to get through it? 314 00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:28,247 - (hands clap) - It's every man for himself! 315 00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:29,540 You better learn that. 316 00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:32,710 - What's going on? - It's okay, Mom. 317 00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:36,380 I'm gonna go tell Mr. Roar that nothing matters. 318 00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:38,007 Attaboy. 319 00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:41,260 What is the matter with you? 320 00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:42,762 How can you talk to Graham like that? 321 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:45,139 Look, I've already told you, I like my space. 322 00:12:45,222 --> 00:12:47,767 I gave you fair warning. What do you want me to do? 323 00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:50,603 Did you have to yell at him? Can't you just do what I do -- 324 00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:52,396 pretend you have to go to the bathroom 325 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,482 and then hang out in there for like an hour? 326 00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:56,275 Or -- radical thought -- 327 00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:58,652 give in and spend some time with him. 328 00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:00,905 You're his family. What does he want from me? 329 00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:04,325 Wild guess -- a male role model. 330 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:07,495 (scoffs) Graham's never lived with a man before. 331 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,289 So maybe he was hoping to do some guy things, 332 00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:12,208 like call a boat a "she" 333 00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:16,212 or go shopping for jeans at Costco or whatever the hell you men do! 334 00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:18,589 - (sighs) - And, by the way, 335 00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:20,758 Graham does think of you as his family. 336 00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:23,302 But apparently you're just our landlord. 337 00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:24,887 And since we're just your tenants, 338 00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:27,306 we may as well live somewhere that's safer for Graham... 339 00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:28,891 and less damp for me. 340 00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:31,769 W-- H-- 341 00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:34,021 (rattling) 342 00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:35,981 ♪♪ 343 00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,858 Sonuvabitch. I knew it. 344 00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,944 Tony, hide the Whoppers! 345 00:13:40,027 --> 00:13:42,446 - (cheers and applause) - WILL: Go get 'em, Rory! 346 00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:45,324 Here we go now. (laughing) Oh! 347 00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:46,450 Yeah, Rory! 348 00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:48,702 Yeah! Take 'em! Take 'em! Get 'em! 349 00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:51,914 Oh, no! Come on, ref! Watch this kid's hands! 350 00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:53,290 - Playing dirty! - (whistle blows) 351 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:56,293 Coach, what is that?! You wanna control your players here?! 352 00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,170 Nice. Alright. Rory! 353 00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,008 Alright. Listen up. 354 00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,052 I want you to kick that ball through that kid's chest. 355 00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:07,054 But I thought soccer wasn't about winning or losing. 356 00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:10,516 (both laugh) 357 00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:13,018 WILL: He got jokes. He got jokes. 358 00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,311 - God, we have fun. - We sure do. 359 00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:15,813 Alright. Come on. 360 00:14:16,313 --> 00:14:18,357 - (hands clapping) - Hey, Will. 361 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:19,984 So, we're up 24-0. 362 00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,777 Why don't you let someone else take the penalty kick? 363 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,237 Are you kidding? I want a blowout. 364 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,281 I want a soccer journal in Brazil writing an article 365 00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:26,615 wondering if I went too far. 366 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,033 Rory's gonna kill that kid. 367 00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,035 I saw him try to pick a dandelion earlier, 368 00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:31,328 and he couldn't rip it from the ground. 369 00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:32,413 (inhaler hisses) 370 00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:35,374 Then he shouldn't be on the field. 371 00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:37,543 Rory's my kid, and I want him out. 372 00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:39,712 (imitates buzzer) When he's on this field, he's my kid! 373 00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:42,756 Alright, Rory! Let's send this kid on an ambulance ride, huh? 374 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,800 Okay, look, that's it. Rory, you're out. Let's go. 375 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,302 WILL: Poppy, Poppy, you can't be on the field. 376 00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:48,053 Poppy! Poppy, what are you doing? 377 00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:49,221 We're leaving. Come on. 378 00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,015 N-No. No. No way. 379 00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:53,100 There is still whoop-ass left in this can. 380 00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:54,476 Beat it, Poppy. 381 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:55,978 - Excuse me? - Yeah. 382 00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,981 It's not my fault I'm the strongest and best kicker on this team. 383 00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:00,566 They need me. I am special. 384 00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:02,443 You're not special, okay? You're 10! 385 00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,111 - (all gasping) - What? 386 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,238 (all murmuring) 387 00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:09,533 POPPY: You're not 9. You're 10. And you're too old for this league. 388 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,874 Well, this is shocking! 389 00:15:16,957 --> 00:15:18,250 Sophie, get in the car. 390 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:21,170 I did not know about this! 391 00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:22,880 Sophie, I'm serious. Get in the car, okay? 392 00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:24,924 Coach Floyd, did you know about this? 393 00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:28,010 'Cause if you did, you are screwed! 394 00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:29,094 Sophie, run! 395 00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:31,263 (crowd murmuring) 396 00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:32,973 ♪♪ 397 00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:39,104 Hey, baby. How you doing? 398 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:41,273 How do you think? I'm 10. 399 00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,734 I turned double digits, and I didn't even know it. 400 00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:45,778 You know how excited I was for my 10th birthday. 401 00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:48,405 Why else would I be cultivating nine Rory look-alikes? 402 00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:51,867 Honey, I am so sorry. Ugh. 403 00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:55,287 God, I wasn't thinking about any of this that day at the playground. 404 00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:57,873 Was that the day you decided to ruin my life? 405 00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:00,459 You were just a toddler, 406 00:16:00,542 --> 00:16:03,253 and some kids were picking on you for being small. 407 00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:06,215 (chuckling) Small? I am huge! 408 00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:09,218 I got a free coffee at Dunkin' because they thought that I was a cop! 409 00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:11,762 I know, baby, but you weren't then. 410 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:17,851 You were itty bitty with big ol' eyes and a crooked smile. 411 00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:19,603 And some kids were calling you names, 412 00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:21,855 so I stepped in and I yelled at them in a way that -- 413 00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:23,732 (inhales sharply) Whoo! 414 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,192 I won't tell you all the details, 415 00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:27,486 but I was escorted from the playground that day. 416 00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:29,530 - Poppy, you animal. - (chuckles) 417 00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:32,241 Later, I was talking to your dad, and I was stressing about 418 00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:34,326 what would happen when I couldn't be there. 419 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:35,995 I wanted you to have an edge. 420 00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:37,997 You were already dealing with so much -- 421 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:39,957 parents whose marriage was hanging by a thread, 422 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,918 not to mention just being a black boy in America. 423 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,587 I had hoped it would make you confident. 424 00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:48,966 Well, it worked. I love myself. 425 00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:52,636 But all this time, I thought it was because I was special. 426 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,305 But, really, I'm just old. 427 00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,141 Hey. 428 00:16:57,224 --> 00:16:59,143 Rory Denzel Banks. 429 00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:01,103 I don't care what age you are. 430 00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:02,688 You are special. 431 00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:05,983 Maybe, these days, a little too special. 432 00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:09,987 Getting elected Class President really went to your head. 433 00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:12,364 Alright. I'll tone it back. 434 00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:16,285 But I just don't know how to face my friends. 435 00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:19,663 They all know, Mom. It's embarrassing. 436 00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:20,998 MIGGY: I'm sorry, Rory! 437 00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,833 We just did what we thought was best! 438 00:17:22,916 --> 00:17:24,918 Miggy! Go to sleep! 439 00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:27,171 MIGGY: Is Jack down there? 440 00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:30,090 ♪♪ 441 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,843 RORY: I just feel like I'm done with Nicole Kidman. 442 00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:36,764 - ALL: Surprise! - WILL: Happy birthday! 443 00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:37,848 (laughter) 444 00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:41,185 - And look who's here. - (gasps) My look-alikes! 445 00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:42,561 - POPPY: Hi! - RORY: This is amazing! 446 00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:44,772 - Hi, guys! - Happy 10th birthday, baby. 447 00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:46,315 Thanks. 448 00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:48,525 - Birthday man! - Hey, double digits! 449 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:50,861 - Hey, old man! - So, you're 10, huh? 450 00:17:50,944 --> 00:17:53,781 - Yeah, I guess so. - Dude, that's so cool! 451 00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:55,866 Really? You don't think of me as old? 452 00:17:55,949 --> 00:17:59,078 Like some early-morning mall-walker in pants up to my nips? 453 00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:02,915 What? No! You're double digits. That's rad. 454 00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:04,333 Take it easy, Cooper. 455 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:07,503 He's the same kid, just a little closer to death. 456 00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:09,129 Sophie. Hey. 457 00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:14,426 I just want to apologize to you for losing my mind earlier. 458 00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:16,553 I guess I just can't handle winning. 459 00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:19,056 Though, in my defense, I had never done it before. 460 00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:21,141 Well, it was kind of fun to see you like that. 461 00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:22,518 - Yeah. - There was only one time 462 00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,311 where I had to lie and pretend you weren't my dad. 463 00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:25,854 (laughs) That's good. 464 00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:29,358 Well, I definitely loved spending so much time with you. 465 00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:32,611 And if you're cool with it, I'd love to keep that going, 466 00:18:32,694 --> 00:18:34,363 even if we never win again. 467 00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:37,199 ♪♪ 468 00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:39,743 I knew this whole time and didn't tell a soul. 469 00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,829 I feel like that should be more of a headline. 470 00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:44,331 I've grown bored of you, Miggy. 471 00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:47,084 ♪♪ 472 00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:49,503 So. (sighs) You moved out, huh? 473 00:18:49,586 --> 00:18:52,005 Almost. All our stuff is still in my car. 474 00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:54,049 And some of your stuff that I took with us. 475 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,760 Alright, look. Enough with the dramatics. Just move back in. 476 00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:58,887 Are you gonna apologize to Graham? 477 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:02,015 We Fogertys, we don't do a lot of apologizing. 478 00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,226 We're not a warm people. 479 00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:07,688 I blame Mother. And the Buffalo winters. 480 00:19:07,771 --> 00:19:10,274 But mostly Mother. Dreadful woman. 481 00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:12,943 ♪♪ 482 00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:15,195 Alright. I can try to do better. 483 00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:16,697 Where is he? 484 00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:18,907 ♪ Like we got no problems ♪ 485 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,535 ♪ Like a freight train, ain't no stoppin' ♪ 486 00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:25,247 Hey, kid. You know, you, uh... 487 00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,791 You asked me something the other day, and I -- 488 00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:30,919 Well, I -- I really didn't answer. 489 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,629 I'll tell you what. Stand up. 490 00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:35,090 Now turn around. 491 00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:40,053 Okay. Now, here's the key. 492 00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:42,973 You want to make sure that the thick end 493 00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:46,393 is about 5 inches lower than the thin end. 494 00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:49,313 You wrap it once... 495 00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:50,689 - I gotta know. - Yeah? 496 00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:53,066 You had soup on your shirt yesterday. 497 00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:54,359 What's the story? 498 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,862 Well, I got a to-go soup at work, 499 00:19:56,945 --> 00:19:58,822 and they didn't put the top on properly, 500 00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:01,158 and it spilled everywhere. 501 00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:03,827 (sighs) That's a bummer, man. 502 00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:05,454 Yeah. Yeah, it was. 503 00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:08,665 Ever since they changed over to those eco-friendly lids, 504 00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:10,626 well, the whole place has gone to hell. 505 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,544 Now, see what I did with the thicker one? 506 00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:14,713 I put it through the loop that we made, 507 00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:18,050 down in front of the thin end... 508 00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:20,010 (gasps) 509 00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:22,804 And... 510 00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:26,016 Look at that. Huh? 511 00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:28,185 - (sighs) - Look at you. 512 00:20:28,268 --> 00:20:29,561 Look at me. 513 00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:31,855 Thanks, Douglas. 514 00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,149 You got it, kid. 515 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,859 God, that's cute. 516 00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:37,402 (crunching) 517 00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:39,112 ♪ Just give it to me ♪ 518 00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:41,865 I'm sorry I tried to use your son to win back 519 00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:44,201 - my daughter's love. - I'm sorry, too. 520 00:20:44,284 --> 00:20:45,827 I don't think either one of us were prepared 521 00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:48,664 for the dark underbelly of 9-and-under youth soccer. 522 00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:52,334 {\an8}Well, at least we still have our die-hards. 523 00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:54,044 {\an8}Sport! 524 00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:56,755 {\an8}- You see her, too, right? - Uh-huh. 525 00:20:56,838 --> 00:20:58,131 {\an8}And she's not the only weirdo. 526 00:20:58,215 --> 00:20:59,424 {\an8}- I'm still coming to every game. - Mm. 527 00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:01,593 {\an8}Gotta come out and support the assistant coach. 528 00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:05,264 {\an8}Remember -- the name of the game is teamwork! 529 00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:07,057 {\an8}Now watch and learn! 530 00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:09,226 {\an8}(whistle blows twice) 531 00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:10,727 {\an8}Five, six, seven, eight! 532 00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:12,938 {\an8}♪ You're so bad, we're so good ♪ 533 00:21:13,021 --> 00:21:15,148 {\an8}♪ Welcome to the Gator-hood ♪ 534 00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:17,734 {\an8}- Uh, so, when do they do soccer? - We don't. 535 00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:20,320 {\an8}No, we're just basically an outdoor dance troupe in cleats now. 536 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:21,405 {\an8}CHILDREN: ♪ Welcome to the Gator-hood! ♪ 537 00:21:21,488 --> 00:21:24,449 {\an8}If you'll excuse me, I have to be thrown into the air.