1 00:00:03,586 --> 00:00:04,796 - Dude. - Dude. 2 00:00:04,879 --> 00:00:07,340 - We are out. - We are out, and it is nighttime. 3 00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:08,800 No wine. Wine is work. 4 00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:10,844 I'm drinking cocktails, and I'm gonna get looped. 5 00:00:10,927 --> 00:00:12,887 - Let's get looped! - Looped! 6 00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:15,223 - (cellphone vibrating) - Mm. Mm. 7 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,851 Don't try to hide it. You are texting your boyfriend. 8 00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:19,394 (sighs) Okay. I'm sorry. 9 00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:20,562 He's so cute. Look. 10 00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:22,397 He sent me a pic of him and the girls. 11 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:23,523 Douglas acts tough, 12 00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,316 but he's a straight-up undercover sweetheart. 13 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,110 He's a good dad, which I gotta say, 14 00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:28,361 I find incredibly attractive, 15 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,071 and I behave accordingly with my body. 16 00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:33,283 Mm. Real good stuff. Real good barf town stuff. 17 00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:36,202 I'm sorry, but you're in a relationship, 18 00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:39,539 and I haven't touched butts with a dude that isn't Graham's dad in forever. 19 00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:40,832 So, you know, 20 00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:42,834 guess I'll never meet anyone and I'll die alone. 21 00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,085 Should we split a crab claw? 22 00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:45,962 Ang, you're gonna meet someone. 23 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,590 And you could have any man out there who's open to hetero sex. 24 00:00:48,673 --> 00:00:50,216 I have tried, okay? 25 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,469 I am on all of the apps. They're a nightmare. 26 00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:55,263 The number of ways we are allowing the name Brian to be spelled 27 00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:56,681 - is out of control. - Okay. 28 00:00:56,765 --> 00:01:00,518 Ang, you got to be positive and believe that people can surprise you. 29 00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:04,022 What if-- Hear me out-- Try being someone else tonight. 30 00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:07,358 Have a no-strings, random hookup where you basically play a character. 31 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,110 - You know what? - Huh? 32 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:10,195 Listen to me. 33 00:01:10,278 --> 00:01:11,321 See my face. 34 00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:12,405 Hear my words. 35 00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:13,615 I am in! 36 00:01:13,698 --> 00:01:14,699 My girl. 37 00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,284 - Yes. - That's what I'm talking about. 38 00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:18,078 - Let's see what we got. - Okay. 39 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:19,621 ANGIE: Oh. 40 00:01:19,704 --> 00:01:21,581 Okay, I could do that for one night. 41 00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:23,208 So could I... 42 00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:26,086 is what I would say if I weren't in this committed relationship. 43 00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:27,587 So, you go. 44 00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:30,256 Be an upbeat, fun, positive person. 45 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,717 - Fun, upbeat, positive person. - Fun, upbeat, positive person. 46 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:35,470 - Fun, upbeat, positive person. - Fun, upbeat, positive person. 47 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:38,807 Hey. 48 00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:41,309 Sorry. That seat's taken. 49 00:01:43,394 --> 00:01:44,521 By you. 50 00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:45,688 (chuckling) Oh! 51 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:46,940 (laughs) 52 00:01:47,398 --> 00:01:48,733 That is-- 53 00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:50,985 - That is good. - Yeah. 54 00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:52,445 Too good. 55 00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:54,197 I'm Camille. 56 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,406 I'm a people person. 57 00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:56,950 Work with people. 58 00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:58,910 As a flight attendant. 59 00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:01,996 Well, you've got my tray table in the upright position. 60 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,374 (laughs uncomfortably) 61 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:06,668 (sighs heavily) 62 00:02:06,751 --> 00:02:09,879 Well, I'm Xander with an "X," like "xylophone," 63 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,674 which I actually play... well. 64 00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:13,883 Cool. 65 00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:16,177 - Just a second. - Oh. 66 00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:18,972 (whispering) Positive. 67 00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:21,307 (whispering) He told me he plays Xylophone! 68 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:23,893 (sighs) 69 00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:28,398 Xylophone? Wow. 70 00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:30,191 Beautiful instrument. 71 00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,026 Love to see it. 72 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:33,945 ♪♪ 73 00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:36,447 (xylophone dinging loudly) 74 00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:37,782 Ah. 75 00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:40,952 There she is! 76 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:42,912 Not surprised you slept well. 77 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,623 That mattress is from the W Hotel collection. 78 00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:48,042 Not cheap. 79 00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:50,795 I'm just gonna hop into my deluge shower, 80 00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,881 and then maybe we'll grab some yum-yums? 81 00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:55,258 Ohh. Yeah, you know what? 82 00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:58,595 I am so bummed, but I have a flight. 83 00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:00,221 Yeah, no, I get it. 84 00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:02,557 I fly to Vegas 40 times a year. 85 00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:06,311 Uh, so, why don't you just write down your didgies, 86 00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:09,814 and we'll, uh, find another time to roll out of bed together. 87 00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:11,733 (xylophone key dings) 88 00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:19,866 ♪ Mostly fives and a couple other numbers ♪ 89 00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:21,868 - (shower running) - ♪ Nee-nah, nee-nah ♪ 90 00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:24,162 ♪♪ 91 00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:25,330 Whoa. 92 00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:26,706 Douglas? 93 00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:28,166 That's weird. 94 00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:31,169 Xander Fogerty? 95 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:33,338 No. Who are you, dude? 96 00:03:33,421 --> 00:03:34,422 ♪♪ 97 00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:35,673 Ugh. 98 00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:37,133 Ugh! 99 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:38,801 (gasps) 100 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:40,637 (exhales sharply) 101 00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:45,058 I hooked up with Douglas' son! 102 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:47,018 - Aaah! - Aaaaah! 103 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:53,358 Uch! 104 00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:55,610 {\an8}I cannot have hooked up with Douglas' son. 105 00:03:55,693 --> 00:03:58,154 {\an8}It's too genetically close to hooking up with Douglas. 106 00:03:58,655 --> 00:03:59,864 - Excuse me? - Oh, sorry. 107 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:01,366 {\an8}I'm so happy for you guys. 108 00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:02,867 {\an8}- (sighs) - I mean, what kind 109 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,744 {\an8}of undercover sweetheart has a secret son? 110 00:04:04,827 --> 00:04:05,870 {\an8}(laughing) I mean, I need a drink. 111 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,247 {\an8}Or food. Or a swim. 112 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,998 {\an8}- What time is it? I'm all turned around. - You know what? 113 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,625 {\an8}- What? - We're being crazy. 114 00:04:10,708 --> 00:04:13,461 {\an8}Our lives aren't exciting enough for this kind of drama. 115 00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:16,089 {\an8}Xander probably isn't even his son. 116 00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:17,757 {\an8}That photo could have been one of those 117 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,384 {\an8}Big Brother-Little Brother situations. 118 00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:21,511 {\an8}Yeah. There's a logical explanation. 119 00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:23,471 {\an8}- Let's-- Let's just go talk to Douglas... - (exhales heavily) 120 00:04:23,554 --> 00:04:25,265 {\an8}- ...get some peace of mind. - Yeah. 121 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,350 {\an8}Yeah, I have a son. So what? 122 00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:30,186 {\an8}I have to shower... hard. 123 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,271 {\an8}Wha-- 124 00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:34,440 {\an8}♪♪ 125 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:35,733 {\an8}Alright, I gotta scoot to work. 126 00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:37,068 {\an8}We got a big heat wave coming in. 127 00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:38,778 {\an8}You know, normally we only name storms, 128 00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:40,863 {\an8}but I'm thinking about giving this guy a name-- 129 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,116 {\an8}"Heatwave Harry." Too cute? 130 00:04:43,199 --> 00:04:44,617 {\an8}How about "Heatwave Miggy"? 131 00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:46,327 {\an8}(both laugh) 132 00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:47,912 {\an8}How about we leave this to the pros, okay? 133 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,330 {\an8}- Okay. - (doorbell rings) 134 00:04:51,874 --> 00:04:53,876 {\an8}- Plaza Pizza. - Vitelli's. 135 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,253 {\an8}Malonadoney's. (breathing heavily) 136 00:04:55,336 --> 00:04:57,547 {\an8}Yeah. Sorry, guys. This is 248 South. 137 00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,757 {\an8}The halfway house is 248 North. 138 00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:01,426 {\an8}♪ P-i-z-z-a ♪ 139 00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:02,927 {\an8}♪ Which slice will be most nice today? ♪ 140 00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:04,429 {\an8}- ♪ Pizza ♪ - (rhythmic clapping) 141 00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:05,888 {\an8}- ♪ Hot pizza ♪ - (rhythmic clapping) 142 00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,432 {\an8}- Those are for us. - Hello. 143 00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:09,809 {\an8}Thank you, gentlemen. We tipped on the app. 144 00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:13,438 {\an8}Uh, what's going on? 145 00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:15,606 {\an8}We're having a pizza tasting! 146 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:18,151 {\an8}And how did you children order the pizza? 147 00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,778 {\an8}- With the Internet. - And Miggy's credit card. 148 00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:21,904 - Miggy! - Yo? 149 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:22,989 Pepperoni? 150 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,491 You gave them your credit card? 151 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:27,452 What? Nah. They stole it. 152 00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:29,620 Yeah, they always pull pranks like this when I babysit. 153 00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:31,622 They take my credit card, order stuff online, 154 00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:32,874 and throw pepperoni at my butt. 155 00:05:32,957 --> 00:05:34,459 - It's our thing. - It shouldn't be your thing. 156 00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:36,461 Those kids need to be punished, okay? 157 00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:37,795 Jack is gonna get bigger, 158 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,505 and you need to learn how to discipline. 159 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:40,923 (chuckling) Oh, yeah, see, 160 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,759 I'm no-- I'm not really huge into discipline. 161 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,469 My approach is more improvisational. 162 00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:47,513 I keep it light and unexpected, like jazz. 163 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,390 - Jazz? - Yeah, jazz. 164 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:51,768 Like, skibbee-doo-wop, boopity-boop-boop. 165 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,144 I know what jazz is, 166 00:05:53,227 --> 00:05:54,854 even though that was an insane example. 167 00:05:54,937 --> 00:05:56,230 Jazz is more like... 168 00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:58,775 ♪ Free-dip, free-dip, bop-bah, boo-doo-doo ♪ 169 00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:01,152 ♪ Boop-boop-boop, bah-doo-doop, whoa-ahp ♪ 170 00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:03,112 - That was excellent. - I know. 171 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,490 Miggy, discipline has to be direct and precise, 172 00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:07,116 like a marching band, right? 173 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,951 ♪ Pom-pom, pom-pom ♪ 174 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,203 Watch. 175 00:06:12,121 --> 00:06:13,498 - I'll take that... - Hey! 176 00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:14,665 - ...and that... - Dad! 177 00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:15,833 - ...and that. - My Candy Crush! 178 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:17,251 You were disrespectful to Miggy. 179 00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:18,836 Now this is happening. Deal. 180 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,505 What are we supposed to do now? 181 00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:22,965 - Go play outside. - Outside? 182 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,175 Outside of what?! 183 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,387 See? Easy. 184 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:28,846 ♪♪ 185 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,139 And fun. 186 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,684 Okay, how do you have a son I don't know about? 187 00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:35,728 DOUGLAS: Easy. I don't speak to him. 188 00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,230 But he's your son. 189 00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:39,899 Well, genetically we share some things, sure-- 190 00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:42,360 you know, full head of hair, good wingspan, 191 00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:43,528 Broadway thighs-- 192 00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:45,655 - But that's where it ends. - No. 193 00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:48,032 I-I have a million questions. 194 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,368 Were-- Were you and his mom married? 195 00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:51,452 Very briefly. 196 00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:54,580 She was legal counsel for a chewing-tobacco company. 197 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:58,251 Now, the divorce was amicable, but brutal for sport. 198 00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:01,129 Look, Pop, I don't want to talk about Xander, okay? 199 00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:03,798 It was an incident a long time ago-- Very painful. 200 00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:05,925 No. No, Douglas. 201 00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:08,136 You don't get to ignore your own kid. 202 00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:09,971 You-- You gotta fix this. 203 00:07:10,054 --> 00:07:11,973 Look, I'm done trying to mend fences. 204 00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:13,516 We're estranged, okay? 205 00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:15,309 It's a shame, but that's that. 206 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:17,145 - Yeah, but, Douglas, you-- - No, no, no. No "but"-- 207 00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:20,648 except for your butt, which I like very much. 208 00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:23,651 They're too quiet, man. 209 00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:25,278 - (ball thuds) - Everything's fine. 210 00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:27,196 The marching-band approach works. 211 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,489 See? 212 00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:34,579 They're learning their lesson and having a ball. 213 00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:35,705 (chuckles) 214 00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:37,415 "Ball" because they're playing with a ball. 215 00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:39,041 Uh, yeah, I-I got it, yeah. 216 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,793 This is insane. 217 00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:42,795 What is this, 1931? 218 00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:44,922 (insect buzzes) 219 00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:46,799 A dragonfly just buzzed by my head. 220 00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:48,426 Are we even safe? 221 00:07:48,509 --> 00:07:50,595 Those dumb micks are gonna pay. 222 00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:52,388 - Whoa! - Okay. 223 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,349 Sorry. My Sicilian blood is on fire. 224 00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:56,934 Oh, snap. 225 00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,519 Someone just got interesting. 226 00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:02,106 That iPad isn't just Candy Crush and Dinotrux. 227 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:05,318 It's how I say good night to my mom at sleepovers. 228 00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:07,653 When you come for my family, 229 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:10,198 I put your Irish bodies in the ground. 230 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:11,407 Wow. 231 00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,620 Look, I gotta scoot to work. 232 00:08:15,703 --> 00:08:18,247 You'll be fine. Just stick to the discipline plan. 233 00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:22,502 Remember-- Pom-pom!-- They're just kids. 234 00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:26,214 - Aah. - Just you now, huh? 235 00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:27,673 Yeah. 236 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:29,217 Interesting. 237 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,969 ♪♪ 238 00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:33,888 Hey, did you girls rent a backhoe? 239 00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:36,390 Because they need you to sign for it. 240 00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,100 Hello, Dad. 241 00:08:38,726 --> 00:08:40,102 ♪♪ 242 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,687 What did you do? 243 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,731 ♪♪ 244 00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:51,155 Place looks good, Dad. 245 00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,406 Let me know if you want to modernize. 246 00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:54,367 I can give you the name of my decorator. 247 00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:55,826 She did my place in Glendale. 248 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:56,911 Up and coming. 249 00:08:56,994 --> 00:08:58,704 Oh, no, Glendale has arrived. 250 00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:01,499 It has long since arrived. 251 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:04,794 Must be nice being so close to Azusa. 252 00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:06,504 Gets hot out there. Got a pool? 253 00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:08,005 (scoffs) Yeah, I got a pool. 254 00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:09,840 It's a community pool, 255 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:13,427 but you can reserve it for birthdays and special occasions. 256 00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:15,513 I got it next Wednesday morning. 257 00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:16,597 Oh, what fun! 258 00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:18,808 Yeah, whether private or community times. 259 00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:20,184 XANDER: Mm-hmm. 260 00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:23,479 Oh, my God, what a shower. 261 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,773 I got in there, y'all. 262 00:09:25,856 --> 00:09:27,316 ♪♪ 263 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,526 Camille. 264 00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:29,735 Yeah. 265 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:32,530 ♪♪ 266 00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:36,576 What are you doing at my dad's house? 267 00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,870 What strange treat is this? 268 00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:41,038 Um... 269 00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:42,582 Xander. 270 00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,333 - I guess you guys know each other. - Yeah. 271 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,378 I, uh, broke down on my way to the airport, 272 00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:50,756 and then I asked this man standing right here 273 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,675 if I could use his phone... 274 00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:55,052 and then his shower. 275 00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,846 - Pbht! - Oh. 276 00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:59,223 And then now you're here, and it just-- 277 00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:02,518 It's... fate? 278 00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:04,061 Oh, I believe in fate. 279 00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:07,064 Dad, I'd like to introduce you 280 00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:09,025 to a special new friend of mine. 281 00:10:09,483 --> 00:10:11,777 - This is Camille. - Hey. 282 00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:16,240 Well, what a pleasure to meet you, Camille. 283 00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:18,534 S-So, you two are, uh... 284 00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,120 (chuckles) Terrific. 285 00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:22,955 Wait. What's so funny? 286 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:25,875 You heartless mountain! 287 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,461 You just can't stand to see me happy! 288 00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:30,713 Oh, Xander, no. 289 00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:32,548 Oh. 290 00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,301 (door opens and closes) 291 00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:37,553 You slept with my son, 292 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,639 and you used a fake name? 293 00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:41,599 Oh, this is my Christmas, 294 00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:44,101 my dumb, beautiful Christmas. 295 00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:48,147 Okay, look, bringing Xander here isn't going as smoothly as I thought. 296 00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:49,398 Oh, I-I think it's getting better. 297 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:52,360 But we can work through this, okay? Uh... 298 00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:55,988 Angie, can you go talk to him? 299 00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:57,073 He'll listen to Camille. 300 00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,533 But Camille was supposed to be for one night only, 301 00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,994 like a tank top from Forever 21. 302 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:04,372 I'm not sure I can keep up all that positivity. 303 00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,374 Come on, Ang. We have sons. 304 00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:08,918 Can you imagine them not talking to us? It breaks my heart. 305 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:10,419 Fine. What's in it for me? 306 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:11,921 - Whatever you want. - Sour Patch Kids. 307 00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:13,839 - Done. - Man! I answered too fast. 308 00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,383 Should have asked for a lot more. 309 00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,302 - Okay. Here I go. - Okay. 310 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:20,680 - Hey. - Hi. 311 00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:21,806 You ready? 312 00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:23,599 This heat wave is bad. It's a real nasty one. 313 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:26,352 Yeah, it's super hot and nasty. 314 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,897 Wait. I'm sorry. Are we flirting? It's hard to tell. 315 00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:31,357 Weather's so inherently sexual. 316 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,817 I was not. 317 00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:35,945 We are supposed to be professional. This is bad behavior. 318 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,863 I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-- 319 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,074 No, I was-- I was flirting that time. 320 00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:41,826 - With the bad behavior. - The bad-- I was-- Yeah. 321 00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:43,577 - And I couldn't even-- - I was-- I was riffing on the bad-- 322 00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:44,704 - Hard to get that rhythm. - I know. I-- 323 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:45,871 - Okay. Start over? - Okay. Let's do. 324 00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,248 - Okay. Oh. Thank God. - (cellphone vibrating) 325 00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:48,624 It's not working. (chuckles) Okay. 326 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:50,668 Hey. 327 00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:51,794 Will! Help! 328 00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:54,380 They-- They-- They trapped me. They caged me like a damn dog. 329 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,215 Oh, dip. 330 00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:57,717 Miggy's hat. 331 00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:02,680 (exhales heavily) 332 00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:04,014 (pounding on door) 333 00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:06,892 I told you they were mad about your marching-band stuff. 334 00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:08,060 Will, it's dark, 335 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,228 and I'm scared. 336 00:12:09,311 --> 00:12:10,563 Have you tried the light? 337 00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:12,648 (click) 338 00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:15,025 Okay, that part is better. 339 00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:16,861 Alright, I'm on my way. 340 00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:19,864 Hey, Tracy, I am so sorry. There's an emergency. 341 00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:21,699 I have to see about a boy in a closet. 342 00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:24,160 - Huh? - I'll be back for the 5:00. 343 00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:25,870 Okay, you better because if you're not, 344 00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:27,371 our only option is McCormick, 345 00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:29,248 and he's having one of his "uh-oh" nights. 346 00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:31,876 Hey. 347 00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:34,837 Why the long lens? 348 00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:38,048 (laughs) 349 00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:40,134 (birds chirping) 350 00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:41,218 Hey. 351 00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:43,721 Hey you. How you doing? 352 00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:45,765 Mind if I come in for a landing? 353 00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:51,604 I'm sorry you had to see me like that. 354 00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:53,689 Hey, I'm a flight attendant. 355 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,274 I see people at their worst. 356 00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:57,109 I did Tampa to Orlando for six years. 357 00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:58,194 (scoffs) 358 00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:01,322 It's just that my dad is, like, so stuck in his ways, you know? 359 00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:02,823 He'll never change. 360 00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:04,867 I know someone like that. 361 00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:07,036 My friend Angie. 362 00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:09,872 Yeah, she always assumes the worst in people. 363 00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:13,042 And I'm always telling her, "Angie, come on. 364 00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,377 You got to just let people in. 365 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:16,879 You're so hot." 366 00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:18,130 But she doesn't listen. 367 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,340 She sounds terrible. 368 00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:22,134 You play the xylophone, dude! 369 00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:25,304 Which is just the thing that Angie would say, 370 00:13:25,387 --> 00:13:27,431 just to give you an idea of how negative she is. 371 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:31,769 But, you know, she's working on it. 372 00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:33,771 And-- And maybe your dad is, too. 373 00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:36,023 You just got to be open. 374 00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:39,610 You know, if he... gives you his hand, 375 00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:41,904 sh-shake it. 376 00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:43,614 Come on. 377 00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:45,157 Talk to him. 378 00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,575 ♪♪ 379 00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:50,079 I had to leave work in the middle of Heatwave Harry-- 380 00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:51,413 Or should it be Holly? Is Holly better? 381 00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:53,290 - I like Hank. - You could never do my job. 382 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,626 You guys are in real trouble. You can do one of three things-- 383 00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,378 math, push-ups, or sweeping. 384 00:13:57,461 --> 00:13:59,588 - I love sweeping. - Then you can't do that one! 385 00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:02,591 Now I have to text Tracy to tell her that I'm on my way. 386 00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:04,343 Wait. Where's my phone? 387 00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:06,345 Wh-- Mine's gone, too. 388 00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:08,389 GRAHAM: The Sicilians have an expression-- 389 00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:11,100 (speaks Italian) 390 00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:12,309 Yo, give us our phones back-- 391 00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:14,311 Miggy. Do not get emotional. 392 00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:15,813 That's the jazz talking. 393 00:14:15,896 --> 00:14:17,773 They're just trying to get a rise out of us. 394 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:20,776 All we need to do is remain calm and keep marching. 395 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:25,948 (speaks Italian) 396 00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:27,908 Bene, bene, bene. 397 00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:30,494 ♪♪ 398 00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,872 First of all, thank you all for coming. 399 00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:35,708 You're speaking like you're addressing 100 people. 400 00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:37,126 XANDER: I'm only here because of the strength 401 00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:38,794 of this beautiful woman. 402 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,671 (sighs) Everyone hear that? 403 00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:42,673 Camille is out here killing it. 404 00:14:42,756 --> 00:14:44,675 I'm so proud of you right now. 405 00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:46,302 Okay. 406 00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:49,138 Uh, let's get to the root of your estrangement. 407 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:52,892 Xander, were you in high school, dealing with new emotions? 408 00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:55,102 Maybe we can play some music to get you back there. 409 00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:56,770 I actually have some Flo Rida on my phone. 410 00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:57,855 DOUGLAS: Don't need it. 411 00:14:57,938 --> 00:14:59,815 I'll never forget the day it happened. 412 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,483 Trump had just fired Comey. 413 00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:02,902 - Wait. What? - What? It was that recent? 414 00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:04,987 That's not the long-standing feud I had imagined. 415 00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,488 Oh, I'm sorry to disappoint you. 416 00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:08,324 It was two years ago. 417 00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:11,076 We had a disagreement on the golf course, 418 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,663 and this is the first time we've seen each other since then. 419 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:15,998 A disagreement? 420 00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:17,583 No. You cheated. 421 00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:19,418 I was about to beat you for the first time, 422 00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:22,755 and you called the game off because of a-- a fake storm. 423 00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:23,839 I saw lightning! 424 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:24,965 You saw my ass! 425 00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:27,343 That day was as dry as a cracker! 426 00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:29,803 Oh, yeah, you're so sure you would have sunk that putt? 427 00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,264 He'll sink it on your grave, old man! 428 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:33,432 Take it back. 429 00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:35,517 Okay, guys-- and Camille-- 430 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:37,519 let's move past the golf game. 431 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:38,687 Or let's move to it! 432 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,105 Let's get to the green! 433 00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:41,607 Yes, let us! 434 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:43,442 What a lovely day for sport! 435 00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:44,526 - Indeed! - No-- 436 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:45,611 To the green! 437 00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:47,488 No, guys! Gu-- Angie. 438 00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:49,198 Sorry. A lot of momentum. 439 00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:50,491 Angie. Angie! 440 00:15:50,574 --> 00:15:52,284 C-Camille! 441 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:58,332 Alright, you have something of ours, we have something of yours. 442 00:15:58,415 --> 00:15:59,625 We can figure this out. 443 00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:01,085 Yeah. We're all adults here. 444 00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:02,711 Totally inaccurate. Let's do this. 445 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,505 Tracy's probably furious with me. 446 00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:06,674 - (cellphone vibrating) - Oh, she is. 447 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:07,841 Based on these texts, 448 00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:09,760 she's steamed like a nice vongole. 449 00:16:09,843 --> 00:16:11,512 What do you want? 450 00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:15,099 Our devices... and $175,000. 451 00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:17,643 Red carpet for the Cats premiere with transportation. 452 00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:19,728 Dignity. And gummy frogs. 453 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:20,813 - Oh, yeah, those are really good. - I want those, too. 454 00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:21,897 - I want those. - Yeah. 455 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,148 - Oh, those are delicious. - Right? 456 00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:24,441 - So good! - Oh, my God. 457 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,068 Alright, fine! You win. 458 00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:27,987 You can have 'em back. Just give me my phone. 459 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,989 Devices in the center of the table on three. 460 00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:32,032 One, two, three... 461 00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:33,826 Four, five, six-- 462 00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:35,577 - Just to three. And release. - Okay. 463 00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:38,956 (kids sigh) 464 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,167 What are you doing with my phone, ese? 465 00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:43,836 Chill. Chill. 466 00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:46,880 The WiFi's not working. 467 00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,424 GRAHAM: Is the Earth off its axis?! 468 00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,592 I was in the middle of buying Lizzo tickets! 469 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,013 Jazz. 470 00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,973 ♪♪ 471 00:16:56,056 --> 00:16:57,057 Here's the deal-- 472 00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:58,892 you will not have access to the Internet 473 00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:01,061 until you make up for today's bad behavior. 474 00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:05,816 Each chore will yield one letter, number, or symbol of the password. 475 00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:07,359 (speaks Italian) 476 00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:13,824 Bro! We took my jazz and your marching band, 477 00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:16,076 - and together we became soul mates. - Marching jazz. 478 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,454 Marching jazz. That's-- That's what I meant. 479 00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:20,956 You better pray for lightning. 480 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,083 You better pray I don't karate you. 481 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:26,754 (sighs) Damn it. 482 00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:29,298 - That made no sense. - No, don't do that. 483 00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:30,466 It made perfect sense. 484 00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:31,633 (sighs) 485 00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,552 I'll be right back. 486 00:17:34,928 --> 00:17:37,514 God, this thing is out of control. I gotta end it. 487 00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:39,308 But I'm sad. 488 00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:41,268 People talk about positivity feeling good, 489 00:17:41,351 --> 00:17:44,146 and I usually want to drown those people, 490 00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:48,025 but it-- it feels good. 491 00:17:48,108 --> 00:17:51,195 Oh, you poor, sweet, emotionally stunted dumb-dumb. 492 00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:52,988 You know you can still be sweet 493 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,490 even when you're not playing a flight attendant. 494 00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,492 It's inside you, Ang. 495 00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:57,701 I don't know. 496 00:17:57,785 --> 00:17:58,827 Hey. 497 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,704 What would Camille say? 498 00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:01,830 She'd say... 499 00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:04,750 (Minnesotan accent) "Oh, you betcha!" 500 00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:06,794 (normal voice) I decided Camille's from Minnesota. 501 00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:08,462 Okay. 502 00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:10,714 Oh, boy. 503 00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:14,134 Okay, your nostrils are the size of pancakes. 504 00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:15,969 Are you nervous? Wait a minute. 505 00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:17,930 Did you actually cheat back then? 506 00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:19,473 DOUGLAS: Of course I did! 507 00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:21,016 There was no lightning. 508 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,476 Where are we, the Great Plains? 509 00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:23,894 I couldn't let my son beat me. 510 00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:25,771 Douglas, why are you so competitive with him? 511 00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:27,397 You're not that way with the twins. 512 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:30,776 Nah, they were born better than me at most things. 513 00:18:31,026 --> 00:18:32,611 Fore! 514 00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:34,988 You hooked it. 515 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,324 But not Xander. 516 00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:39,118 Oh, when he was little, it was perfect. 517 00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:41,703 He used to look up to me like I was a superhero. 518 00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:44,915 Then he got older, and I don't know what the hell happened. 519 00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:47,668 I don't know. Maybe you were afraid he'd stop looking up to you? 520 00:18:47,751 --> 00:18:48,919 Well, I guess so. 521 00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:50,712 I was so afraid of losing my little boy 522 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,173 that I-- I actually lost him. 523 00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:55,134 I screwed up, okay? 524 00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:56,552 And now it's just too late. 525 00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:59,721 It's not too late, Douglas. You have to tell him how you feel. 526 00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,808 He doesn't need this stupid putt. He needs his dad. 527 00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:06,728 (birds chirping) 528 00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:10,858 (exhales sharply) 529 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,571 Aah! God! 530 00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:18,198 Dad, what the hell? I thought you were a bear. 531 00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:21,118 You thought a golf-course bear put his paw on you? 532 00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:22,619 Doesn't matter. 533 00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:23,787 Look, um... 534 00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:27,082 you don't have to do any of this, Xander, okay? 535 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:30,127 You were right. I did cheat that day. 536 00:19:31,378 --> 00:19:35,340 I tried to keep you in my shadow because I liked being the big dog. 537 00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:37,801 That's my problem, not yours, okay? 538 00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:41,221 But now you're the big dog, and I think you're-- 539 00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:42,764 I think you're doing really well. 540 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:44,516 I am doing great. 541 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,936 I've got a $6,500 studio apartment in a mall, 542 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,688 just met a great girl. 543 00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:51,106 Camille! 544 00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:53,400 By the way, we gotta talk. 545 00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:55,235 Not now, though. This is your moment. You go. 546 00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:57,863 The point is, I should have told you this a long time ago, 547 00:19:57,946 --> 00:20:00,949 but... I'm proud of you, son. 548 00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,413 Thanks, Dad. That means a lot. 549 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,166 I'm happy to have you back in my life. 550 00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:11,168 You too, Xan. Come on. 551 00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:12,961 Let's get out of here, huh? 552 00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:14,463 ♪♪ 553 00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:15,631 Dad, hold on. 554 00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:19,718 I want to sink this putt... for me. 555 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:21,386 Okay. 556 00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:22,930 Go get 'em, kid. 557 00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:24,097 Thanks, Dad. 558 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:29,353 ♪♪ 559 00:20:29,436 --> 00:20:35,359 ♪♪ 560 00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:40,447 (golf ball clatters) 561 00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:42,991 Ugh. 562 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,410 I can't believe we share DNA with that. 563 00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,788 I'll go to my grave denying it. 564 00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:51,250 {\an8}ANNOUNCER: ...with Chet Corners. And weather... 565 00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:54,378 {\an8}Let me know if you need any type of ranch or dipping sauce. 566 00:20:54,461 --> 00:20:55,504 {\an8}Mm-hmm. 567 00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:58,006 {\an8}And as you can kind of see up here there's a low-pressure system making its way... 568 00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,508 {\an8}- Here you go. - Mm. 569 00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:01,468 {\an8}That's gonna come all the way down the coastline, 570 00:21:01,551 --> 00:21:03,720 {\an8}and of course, just when you least expect it, 571 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:04,972 {\an8}we got a cold front coming through. 572 00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:06,682 {\an8}Okay. "D." 573 00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:08,600 {\an8}- "D." - "D." 574 00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:10,102 {\an8}...that'll eventually reach Southern California. 575 00:21:10,185 --> 00:21:11,853 {\an8}That's of course good news for the folks in the Valley, 576 00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:13,855 {\an8}who can finally give their AC units a break 577 00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:17,484 {\an8}as Heatwave Howie turns west towards Maui. 578 00:21:17,567 --> 00:21:20,153 {\an8}For the KZOP Cooper Center, I'm Will Weather. 579 00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:21,321 {\an8}Wait. What'd I say? 580 00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:23,907 {\an8}(scoffs) I could do that job.