1 00:00:02,377 --> 00:00:05,588 I can't believe the kids won't tell us what they're going as this year. 2 00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:08,299 Like, I'm having the shin-sweats just thinking about it. 3 00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:10,301 Must be a group thing with the five of them. 4 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:11,386 But nothing obvious. 5 00:00:11,469 --> 00:00:13,471 Rory can't stand first-thought ideas. 6 00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:16,391 Don't even get him started on the name "Cheesecake Factory." 7 00:00:16,474 --> 00:00:19,686 Well, let's see. We have three girls and two boys. 8 00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:21,938 I don't even know why I'm trying to figure it out. 9 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,898 I really could not care less. 10 00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,108 Alright, Miggy, you're sure you're good 11 00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:27,610 to hand out Halloween candy at my house? It's a big job. 12 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,320 You gotta keep it spooky, 13 00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:31,781 which is an acronym for "Scary," "Paranormal," "Oh, no," 14 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,950 "Oh, God," "Keep that thing away from me," "Yay!" 15 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,285 Chill. I get it. 16 00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:37,912 I open the door, I hand out candy, I close the door. 17 00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:39,289 Jack and I got it covered. 18 00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:43,752 You made him the volleyball from Cast Away? 19 00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:45,420 Yeah, I wanted someone to talk to. 20 00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:48,006 Miggy, you can talk to your son when he's in regular clothes. 21 00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:49,841 -We're ready! Here we come! - Oh. 22 00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:56,973 Are -- Are you guys j-jury duty? 23 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,352 Oh, God. They're us. 24 00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:03,354 I sell books about wine. 25 00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:04,689 More or less, yeah. 26 00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,691 I have a law job and I drive a minivan. 27 00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:08,568 Cool. She gave me two things. 28 00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:10,070 I'm 10 feet tall. 29 00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:13,364 You know, I couldn't even buy jeans until the Internet was invented. 30 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:16,117 I hate sand in my shoes but like keeping my baby alive. 31 00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:18,203 Yo, this is like SNL! 32 00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:21,206 Could someone be a mensch and pass the schmear? 33 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,752 - I don't get it. That's not me. - Okay, that's you. 34 00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:28,129 Yeah, but why is she doing me Jewish? 35 00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,256 - You aren't Jewish? - No. 36 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,425 It's your essence, though. 37 00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:34,260 I always get my own schmear. 38 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,599 Awooo! 39 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:41,935 {\an8}Look. 40 00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:44,104 {\an8}I just put the finishing touches on our pumpkin. 41 00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:45,438 {\an8}Oh, this looks great. 42 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:46,606 {\an8}Everybody, check it out. 43 00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:47,941 {\an8}It's Ruth Bader Ginsburg 44 00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:50,401 {\an8}shoulder-pressing two smaller Ruth Bader Ginsburgs 45 00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:52,654 {\an8}shoulder-pressing even more Ruth Bader Ginsburgs. 46 00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:53,738 {\an8}It's a fractal. 47 00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:55,907 {\an8}Oh. Everything's gotta be something now. 48 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:58,243 {\an8}Oh, which reminds me, before anybody moves, 49 00:01:58,326 --> 00:02:00,787 {\an8}can you all wave hi to Tracy for her birthday video? 50 00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:02,497 {\an8}- Hey. Happy birthday. 51 00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:04,040 {\an8}Hi. Awesome. Thank you. 52 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,250 {\an8}Sophie, I want you to tell everybody 53 00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:07,710 {\an8}I want butts in seats and pumpkins on laps in five minutes. 54 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,838 {\an8}Okay, wait, so, it's Tracy's birthday? 55 00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:12,841 {\an8}Yeah, she's having a party at some weird bar called The Padded Cell. 56 00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,259 {\an8}She's got family coming in from Poland. 57 00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:15,885 {\an8}No, they are not bringing sausage, 58 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,554 {\an8}and, yes, it was offensive to ask. 59 00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:20,140 {\an8}Oof. Caught between your girlfriend and your kid? 60 00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:21,224 {\an8}It's been totally fine. 61 00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:23,893 {\an8}I went to her directly, and I said, "Are you okay with me missing your party?" 62 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,019 {\an8}And she said, "Yes." 63 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:28,189 {\an8}Hey, you know I want to be at your birthday, but it's Halloween. 64 00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:29,524 {\an8}That's okay, right? 65 00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:30,692 {\an8}Yaiyse. 66 00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:32,318 {\an8}Oh, honey. 67 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,654 {\an8}"Yaiyse" is not a yes. 68 00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:37,532 {\an8}When there are that many letters in the word "yes," it's a no. 69 00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:38,658 {\an8}So, you think she's upset? 70 00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:39,742 {\an8}Ya. 71 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,119 {\an8}See how few letters my "yes" had in it? 72 00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:42,245 {\an8}That's how sure I am. 73 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:45,373 {\an8}Aw, man. I thought I was balancing the whole kid-girlfriend thing perfectly. 74 00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:46,958 {\an8}Alright, look, the trick is 75 00:02:47,041 --> 00:02:49,711 {\an8}that you have to make Tracy feel like she is a priority, 76 00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:51,880 {\an8}even though this is the most important night in the kid year. 77 00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:54,924 {\an8}It's like in The American President, right? 78 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,342 {\an8}The country comes first, 79 00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:59,137 {\an8}but Andy still can't completely screw over Sydney. 80 00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:00,805 {\an8}Okay. So, how does that -- 81 00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:02,599 {\an8}Girl, that is one of my favorite movies. 82 00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:03,766 {\an8}You want to watch a scene real quick on my phone? 83 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:04,851 {\an8}Uh, yes. 84 00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:07,353 {\an8} 85 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:09,063 Well, that's women for ya. 86 00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,940 You know, they're quick to point out a problem, 87 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,358 and then when you need a solution, 88 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,652 they're watching Michael Douglas on their phones. 89 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:15,904 Okay, I need to figure this out. 90 00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:18,364 I think I can actually make it to Tracy's party, 91 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:19,616 drop in for a quick hello, 92 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,492 and make it back to the school in time for the Jack-Off. 93 00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:23,369 The what now? 94 00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:24,996 Well, that's what the kids have started calling 95 00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:26,706 the jack-o'-lantern contest. 96 00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:30,043 Breezing through, you're not gonna be able to make both, 97 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,836 not with Halloween traffic. 98 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,339 This is what you do -- You get Tony to drive you. 99 00:03:34,422 --> 00:03:35,715 He's insanely fast. 100 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:39,385 He was the stunt driver on Smokey and the Bandit 1 an 3. 101 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,137 But not Smokey and the Bandit II? 102 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,972 Mnh. Didn't like the script. 103 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,516 Daddy? They're coming. 104 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,851 Oh, great. Um, Sophie, 105 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,354 I-I think I'm actually gonna be a little late to Halloween. 106 00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:50,438 Why? 107 00:03:50,521 --> 00:03:53,358 Um...when grown-ups are in an adult relationship -- 108 00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:55,652 - He has to go pick up Life Savers. - Mm-hmm. 109 00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,487 But you'll be back in time for the pumpkin contest? 110 00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,697 - Oh, yeah. - We're gonna win this year, for sure. 111 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:02,825 First-place prize is a $30 gift card to Denny's. 112 00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:05,161 Life Savers? 113 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,829 It's right there in the name. 114 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,164 Alright, alright, let's go. 115 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:11,334 Everyone leaving for Hilltop, please step forward. Uhp! 116 00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:13,086 Not so fast, Mom and Angie. 117 00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:15,505 Rory and I have something to say to you. 118 00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:17,006 We've decided that we're big kids now, 119 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,758 and we can handle Halloween without you. 120 00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:21,761 We're telling you in front of other people so you won't make a scene. 121 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,763 - Okay. - Yeah. 122 00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,139 Okay, bye, Mom. Don't have a meltdown. 123 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,808 See you later! You'll be fine! 124 00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:28,434 Don't worry about us. 125 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:30,645 Just gifted us a girls' night. 126 00:04:30,728 --> 00:04:33,356 So get out of here so we can start partying. 127 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:35,817 Alright. 128 00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,193 A whole night to ourselves? 129 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,319 What do you want to do? 130 00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:41,322 Mm-mnh-mnh. You want to, uh... 131 00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:42,407 cry? 132 00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:43,533 Yeah. 133 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,035 Our kids just ditched us. 134 00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:50,039 Remember, buddy, Will's counting on us. 135 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,124 Keep it spooky. 136 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:55,128 Trick or treat! 137 00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:58,506 And to you, too. Booooo! 138 00:04:59,924 --> 00:05:00,967 Is that it? 139 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:02,969 Yeah. Why? 140 00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:05,555 - This is Will Cooper's house, right? - Mm-hmm. 141 00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:07,515 We've just come to expect more. 142 00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:10,310 He really put on a show last year. 143 00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:11,436 I-I can do it again. 144 00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:13,146 I think maybe you didn't hear the "boo." 145 00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:14,397 We heard it. 146 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,607 - Is Will coming back? - No. 147 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:19,110 Oh. Where is he? 148 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,404 He's... 149 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:24,032 dead. 150 00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:25,658 Oh, my God. 151 00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:27,493 I know. Spooky, right? 152 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:30,288 Well, I mean, it's terrible. But how did he -- 153 00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:31,831 We did it, buddy! 154 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,295 So, Douglas, it was your job 155 00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:39,339 to decorate the classroom for Halloween. 156 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:41,924 How many G's did you drop on fake cobwebs? 157 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,676 Wait, I was supposed to decorate? 158 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,970 You were supposed to elaborately decorate. 159 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,180 You're the Room Parent. 160 00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:50,725 Well, there's nothing scarier than disappointment. 161 00:05:50,808 --> 00:05:51,893 There. I did it. 162 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:10,620 I am 8, and I am brave. 163 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:11,954 So, you did decorate? 164 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,539 You were just teasing us? 165 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,166 You nimrods impressed? 166 00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:16,918 Our dad did this. 167 00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,211 Uh-huh. 168 00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:20,129 - Come on. - Well, Douglas. 169 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:23,466 As your President, I would like to formally apologize for doubting you. 170 00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:24,842 I didn't do any of this. 171 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:26,344 I don't know how this stuff got in here. 172 00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:29,847 Wait. But if you didn't do any of this, then who did? 173 00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:30,932 No idea. 174 00:06:31,015 --> 00:06:35,895 So, it could be some dangerous psychopath who's still lurking on the premises? 175 00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:37,230 Well, nothing's off the table. 176 00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:41,067 Oh, God. I don't want to die dressed as you. 177 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,696 Ugh! This is the worst Halloween 178 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:48,366 since everyone dressed as Left Shark from the Super Bowl. 179 00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:49,450 Bottle me. 180 00:06:57,625 --> 00:06:59,961 Just some teens partying on the golf course. 181 00:07:00,044 --> 00:07:01,212 Mm. Teen partying. 182 00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:03,339 Remember just making out in front of your friends? 183 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,383 - Mm-hmm. - When did that stop being a thing? 184 00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:08,761 Man, I can't believe Graham and Rory are already over us. 185 00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,054 I thought we had more time. 186 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,848 And if they think we're lame now, 187 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:13,641 just imagine what they're gonna think of us 188 00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:14,725 when they're teenagers. 189 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,561 This is gonna keep getting worse and worse, 190 00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:18,271 like the gooey people from Chernobyl. 191 00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:19,814 That's not gonna happen to us, Ang. 192 00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:21,274 No, this is how it goes. 193 00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:23,151 I loved my parents so much, 194 00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:25,319 and then one day, I woke up, and I never loved them again. 195 00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:27,738 But we're not our parents. We're actually cool. 196 00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:30,324 I have a liquor license. You once rented a Jet Ski. 197 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,285 Havasu 2006! 198 00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:34,996 In fact, I bet those teens out there would think we were pretty awesome. 199 00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:36,706 Awesome? No. 200 00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:39,167 Maybe they think we're hot, if we're lucky. 201 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:41,419 Lucky how? No. I don't want to know. 202 00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:44,547 Hey, how about we run an experiment? 203 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,132 No. No, no, no, no, no. 204 00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:48,259 Don't you do this. You always do this. 205 00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:50,887 We get tipsy, and you take advantage of my love 206 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,472 of the scientific method. 207 00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:54,849 I say we invite those teens to come party with us. 208 00:07:54,932 --> 00:07:55,933 If they think we're cool, 209 00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,935 our kids will also think we're cool when they're that age. 210 00:07:58,019 --> 00:08:00,980 Well...your logic is rock-solid. 211 00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:02,648 Yes! Ha! 212 00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:04,692 Hey, kids! 213 00:08:04,775 --> 00:08:07,153 Who wants to come party at a rich dude's house? 214 00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:09,655 With two hot chicks! 215 00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,241 If there's an Alexa listening, I want to be clear, 216 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,784 I do not need teens to think I'm hot. 217 00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:14,869 Mm-hmm. 218 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,257 Long time since your Smokey and the Bandit days, huh? 219 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,218 Okay, I'm gonna be in and out in 20 minutes. 220 00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,762 Be ready to fly. 221 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,612 Hey. Happy birthday. 222 00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:51,572 Oh, my God! You came! 223 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,491 That's right. I can do it all! 224 00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:54,909 Will, this is incredible. 225 00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:56,702 Oh, everybody, this is Will, 226 00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,454 the employee I chose to date despite HR. 227 00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,956 Milo mi cie poznac. 228 00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:01,999 - Czesc! - Dzien dobry! 229 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,376 Oh! 230 00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,545 I might have done some flashcards on the ride over. 231 00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,171 - Ah. - I also may have learned 232 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:08,881 the Polish birthday song. 233 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:09,966 Freeze party? 234 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,092 ♪ Sto lat ♪ 235 00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:12,343 ♪ Sto lat ♪ 236 00:09:12,426 --> 00:09:15,054 - ♪ Niech zyje, zyje nam ♪ - Sign this. 237 00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:16,847 ♪ Sto lat, sto lat ♪ 238 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,599 ♪ Niech zyje, zyje nam ♪ 239 00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:19,684 Phone, please. 240 00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,185 - ♪ Jeszcze raz, jeszcze raz ♪ - Okay. Yeah. 241 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:23,479 ♪ Niech zyje, zyje nam ♪ 242 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:27,733 ♪ Niech zyje nam ♪ 243 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:30,319 Thank you, thank you. 244 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,654 Wait, what is this? 245 00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:35,533 This is the Padded Cell Escape Room, 246 00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:37,159 an asylum so frightening, 247 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,537 you'll want to tip, tip, tip! 248 00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,455 Welcome to Hell, sickos! 249 00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:43,332 I don't want to be a sicko. 250 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:48,045 So, you love escape rooms? 251 00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,840 What a fun detail to learn at the most opportune moment. 252 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,425 Yeah, I've been doing them for a couple years now, 253 00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:54,677 and now my Polish relatives are addicted. 254 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:55,761 Every time I talk to them, 255 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,597 they're like, "Czy robimy pokój ucieczki?" 256 00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:00,891 100%. But I do think that I'm -- 257 00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:03,728 - You know, I am so glad that you are here. - Mm. 258 00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:06,689 You have absolutely made my birthday. 259 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,817 Are you really sticking around? 260 00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,278 Yaiyse. 261 00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:16,073 - Now, this escape room -- - Mm. 262 00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:18,075 ...es-quick room, es-long room? 263 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:19,243 How much time are we talking? 264 00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,996 Well, I asked for the most difficult one because last year, 265 00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:24,040 Uncle Mikolaj actually brought his own shovel 266 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:25,499 and dug himself out in 15 minutes. 267 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,877 I don't know. I'm thinking about two hours or so? 268 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,046 Two hours! 269 00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:33,883 Papa Pizza, that's a spicy-a chunk-a-time! 270 00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:36,302 Yeah, it's an intense one. And they can touch you. 271 00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:37,428 You signed a waiver. 272 00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:38,554 Trapped and touched? 273 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,097 Um...is it my birthday? 274 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:43,643 Alright, here's the deal. 275 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,519 Between you and me, I have to be at my daughter's school 276 00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:47,521 for a pumpkin contest in, like, less than an hour, 277 00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:50,608 so I will give you $20 for any tips to get this thing moving along. 278 00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:55,905 Will, did you try and cheat? 279 00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:56,989 No. 280 00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:59,158 Wh-- Ow, ow, ow! What is happening? 281 00:10:59,241 --> 00:11:01,661 Yeah, I think this is actually, like, a bit much, right? 282 00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:04,538 Oh, someone's gonna get sedated. 283 00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,916 - Sleepy, sleepy. -No. No. No. 284 00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:08,292 I will not take your voodoo medicine. 285 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:09,543 You get away from me. 286 00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:11,796 You will not -- No, please! 287 00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:15,257 Oh, it's a SweeTART. 288 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,807 Okay, I'm starting to think that this was a bad idea. 289 00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:24,850 Alright, t-they don't even think we're cool. 290 00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,143 They think the house is cool. 291 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:28,938 No, we're cool, okay? We just gotta get in there. 292 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:30,564 Watch this. 293 00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:33,859 Attention, everyone! 294 00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:37,154 Can someone please turn that music... 295 00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:39,782 up! 296 00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:42,243 ♪ I don't care ♪ 297 00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:44,662 Time me! 298 00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:49,834 ♪ I crashed my car into the bridge ♪ 299 00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:52,378 Okay, who used my phone to order pizza? 300 00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:53,879 ♪ I threw your ish into a bag ♪ 301 00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,256 It was me! 302 00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:57,758 ♪ I crashed my car into the bridge ♪ 303 00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:03,681 Four score and seven years ago... 304 00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:05,933 Yeah! She's so cool! 305 00:12:06,016 --> 00:12:07,101 Yeah! 306 00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:09,854 So, then I told Ron, "I know why you downloaded Snapchat, 307 00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:11,731 and it wasn't for the puppy filters." 308 00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:13,190 Britney knows what I'm talking about. 309 00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:14,400 You know Snapchat? 310 00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:16,360 Oh, I know all the apps. 311 00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:17,987 ♪ We gotta kill this switch ♪ 312 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:20,072 ♪ You're from the '70s ♪ 313 00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:21,699 ♪ But I'm a '90s bi-- ♪ 314 00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:23,743 ♪ I don't care ♪ 315 00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:25,286 ♪ I love it ♪ 316 00:12:25,369 --> 00:12:27,329 ♪ I don't care ♪ 317 00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:29,373 ♪ I love it, I love it ♪ 318 00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:31,333 Happy Hallowee-- 319 00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:34,712 I told the rest of the block about Will's passing. 320 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:36,839 How are you holding up? 321 00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:38,090 Uh... 322 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:39,592 Hanging in. 323 00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:43,179 Yeah, it -- it has been very spooky on the family. 324 00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:47,308 Can I just have a moment, please? 325 00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:50,686 Is it possible I made it too spooky? 326 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:51,979 Should I just come clean? 327 00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:54,398 You're right, Jack. 328 00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,150 The Park family doesn't give up. 329 00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:57,943 We double down. 330 00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:01,363 So, I got to ask. 331 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:04,450 How is Will's daughter doing with all of this? 332 00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:06,911 She gone, too. 333 00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:10,998 This looks really good. Wow. 334 00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:15,961 Hey, have you seen my dad? 335 00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,588 They're announcing the winners soon. 336 00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:20,049 Maybe he stopped for gas and then lost himself 337 00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:22,676 in the generic pastry section at the Smart Mart. 338 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,970 But I want him here when I win. 339 00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:26,972 I got the best pumpkin of everyone. 340 00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,266 This one just has a square carved into it. 341 00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:30,893 That-- That's mine. 342 00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:32,937 It's supposed to be Colorado. 343 00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:35,940 Do you particularly like Colorado? 344 00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:37,233 No. 345 00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:40,820 Fogerty, why aren't you getting us out of here? 346 00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,530 There could be a killer on the loose. 347 00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:46,158 Eh, I'm a little creeped out, too, but, uh, try not to cause a panic. 348 00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,410 Well, guess what. It is time to panic. 349 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:49,912 There is a dead rat. 350 00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:53,207 This entire classroom is a death threat. 351 00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:54,959 Yeah, that's not great. Okay. 352 00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:56,460 I'm -- I'm -- I'm gonna take care of this. 353 00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:01,549 Alright, do not react to anything I say next. 354 00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:05,302 These terrifying decorations were placed here not by me, 355 00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:08,097 but instead by a dangerous psychotic. 356 00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:13,018 So, calmly follow me out the door, and don't attempt to save your friends. 357 00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,270 They're already dead. 358 00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:15,354 Dad, wait. 359 00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:16,939 We decorated the classroom. 360 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:18,774 You guys did this? 361 00:14:19,316 --> 00:14:20,359 Wow. 362 00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:22,361 Okay. 363 00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:24,071 Give Daddy a moment. 364 00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:28,117 Okay, good news, Rory. Mystery solved. 365 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,953 My, uh -- My kids did all this. 366 00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:32,204 How is that good news? 367 00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:34,081 You do realize you're living with psychopaths? 368 00:14:34,164 --> 00:14:36,584 Well, when you say it like that, it is upsetting. 369 00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:40,754 Not sure about the one on the right. 370 00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:45,843 Ha-ha! Time to go home. 371 00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:47,094 Britney! 372 00:14:47,177 --> 00:14:48,846 What are the three words we live by? 373 00:14:48,929 --> 00:14:50,598 Don't text Josh. 374 00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:52,850 - Yep. - That was awesome. 375 00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:55,144 Those teens were eating out of the palm of our hands. 376 00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:56,395 I told you those kids would love us. 377 00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:57,855 And you know what? Graham and Rory will, too. 378 00:14:57,938 --> 00:15:00,065 You were right. 379 00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:02,276 - We are the coolest! -We are. 380 00:15:02,359 --> 00:15:04,320 Now, let's celebrate with some of Douglas' good stuff. 381 00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:05,988 He's got $600 Scotch. 382 00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:11,201 Oh, my God. 383 00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,245 They stole all the liquor. 384 00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:16,206 Even the Drambuie. That's disgusting. 385 00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:19,919 Ang, we are not cool. We're chumps. 386 00:15:20,836 --> 00:15:24,048 Bitch...mom...activate! 387 00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:29,053 Alright, come on, come on, come on. Let's go! 388 00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:31,096 Wait, have you been measuring in meters? 389 00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,431 Oh, my God, I'm gonna cry. 390 00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:33,724 Will, this is supposed to be fun. 391 00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:35,142 - I'm having fun. - Mm-hmm. 392 00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:36,769 Guy McCormick, what are you doing? 393 00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:40,981 I hid a bottle of whiskey behind a bed back when I lived here, 394 00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,691 and now it's gone. 395 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:45,277 Oh, Guy, this is not a real pla-- 396 00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:47,863 And why have we given the key puzzle 397 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,157 to the two folks with the shakiest hands 398 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,283 in all of occupied Europe? 399 00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,702 I mean, how many Poles does it take to open a medicine cabinet? 400 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,245 I'm kidding. But I'm not. 401 00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:57,831 Alright, get your heads in the game so we can get the hell out of here! 402 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,416 Okay, Will, you seem a little stressed. 403 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,751 Everyone else here's having a good time. 404 00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:02,044 Well, I am not, okay? 405 00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:05,005 It's Halloween, and Sophie needs me at the pumpkin carving contest, okay? 406 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,715 If she loses, I have to console her. 407 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,300 If she wins, I have to take her to Denny's. 408 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,552 Look, I know that Halloween is a big night for kids. 409 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,471 If you need to go see Sophie, then you should go. 410 00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:13,639 No one's stopping you. 411 00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:16,100 I'm in a straitjacket-uh. 412 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:23,649 I see. 413 00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:26,276 I have to go. I'm sorry. 414 00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:31,615 - Oh. - Ooh! 415 00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:32,700 Ohh. 416 00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:34,034 - Oh. - I think that was your cake. 417 00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,208 Go, go, go, go, go! 418 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:55,389 There they are! 419 00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:56,473 How do I look? 420 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,100 Okay, yeah, I'll be doing the talking. 421 00:16:58,183 --> 00:17:00,102 I'm not gonna be cool. I'm gonna be a mom. 422 00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:03,564 A scary mom with bad jeans and lots of rules. 423 00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:05,149 Alright, kids. 424 00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:08,652 I am very disappointed in each and every one of y-- 425 00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,738 Britney, is this Josh? 426 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,072 He deleted Snapchat. 427 00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:14,408 Oh, honey, he just hid it in a folder -- 428 00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:16,201 Nope. Not my problem. 429 00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:18,662 Give us our booze back, or we're calling the cops. 430 00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:21,081 Or worse, your parents. 431 00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:22,833 You know you want this. 432 00:17:22,916 --> 00:17:24,001 Wrong track, Angie. 433 00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:26,128 And we can find your parents. You know why? 434 00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:29,631 Because we are parents, and parents know other parents. 435 00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:30,716 Bing bong! 436 00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:31,800 Hmm? 437 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:32,885 Now scram! 438 00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,430 Yeah! That's right! 439 00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:37,723 These moms will find you 440 00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:40,476 with our big bags and our sensible sneakers! 441 00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:42,061 And we keep these bodies tight! 442 00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:45,189 You hear-- No, Angie. No. 443 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,778 Hey, Sophie. Hey. 444 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,571 I am so sorry I missed you winning the contest. 445 00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:54,448 We lost. Where were you? 446 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,535 I thought I could drop by Tracy's party and make it back in time, 447 00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,621 but then I was thrown into a straitjacket 448 00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:02,456 and forced to solve a puzzle with Uncle Mikolaj. 449 00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:03,624 You get it. 450 00:18:03,999 --> 00:18:06,585 Why didn't you just tell me you wanted to stop by Tracy's? 451 00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:08,128 I should've. 452 00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:12,049 I just -- I'm trying to balance my time between the two of you, 453 00:18:12,132 --> 00:18:14,676 and I never want you to feel like you are not number one. 454 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:18,597 I don't, but maybe balancing your time wouldn't be so hard 455 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,182 if you didn't keep us so separate. 456 00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:21,475 Wait, really? 457 00:18:21,558 --> 00:18:23,519 You'd be willing for the three of us to hang out? 458 00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,354 Yeah. I'd be down with that. 459 00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:27,106 Oh. Cool. 460 00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:29,024 Hey, maybe we could go bowling? 461 00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:31,068 Yaiyse. 462 00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:33,654 Okay, not bowling. We'll figure something else out. 463 00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:36,073 Now, tell me all about this pumpkin carving contest. 464 00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:38,450 Stupid Rocco Risoli won with a carving 465 00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,786 of Ruth Bader Ginsburg eating a meatball sub. 466 00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:42,704 - What?! - It didn't even make sense! 467 00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:46,542 Okay, there's no way this cheap stuff 468 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:47,626 is gonna fool Douglas. 469 00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:50,254 Well, neither of us have the 600 bucks to buy a new one, 470 00:18:50,337 --> 00:18:53,090 so you know what that means -- more smoky steak sauce. 471 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,176 Alright, I guess we shouldn't fight it, okay? 472 00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:58,846 We are not cool, and our kids are gonna stop loving us. 473 00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:00,472 Mom. 474 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:03,851 Funnel! 475 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:06,812 We're back. 476 00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:09,439 From the Halloween that will be referred to in court 477 00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:11,567 as "the day I should've said something." 478 00:19:12,734 --> 00:19:14,444 It was traumatizing. 479 00:19:14,528 --> 00:19:15,946 I'm so sorry I asked you not to come. 480 00:19:16,029 --> 00:19:17,114 Baby, I'm sorry. 481 00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:18,991 Mom, it was terrible. 482 00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:20,993 People hate Colorado. 483 00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:22,786 Oh, Graham. 484 00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:23,996 Guess what. 485 00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:26,415 I got you a new toothbrush. It has frogs on it. 486 00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:27,958 Frogs?! 487 00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:29,668 You're the coolest! 488 00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:31,128 Who would've ever thought? 489 00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:34,673 Me with a frog toothbrush. 490 00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:38,427 Well, it looks like we've still got some time left. 491 00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:39,553 Mm-hmm. 492 00:19:41,388 --> 00:19:43,182 Okay, I have to know. 493 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,893 Did you kill that rat yourselves? 494 00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:48,061 No. That wasn't us. 495 00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:50,314 Hilltop just isn't a very clean school. 496 00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:51,690 Thank God. 497 00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:53,817 But why did you guys do all that? 498 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,653 We knew you'd totally beef it on the decorations. 499 00:19:56,737 --> 00:20:00,365 Since you've been completely beefing it at being Room Parent. 500 00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:03,660 Yeah. We didn't want people to get mad at you again. 501 00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:06,580 We just wanted everyone to see you like we see you. 502 00:20:06,663 --> 00:20:09,583 A solid earner and a pretty good dad. 503 00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:12,169 Well, that's beautiful, girls, 504 00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:17,049 and I-I guess I didn't consider how half-assing it would make you feel. 505 00:20:17,132 --> 00:20:21,345 But I'll tell you what, in the future, I promise -- 506 00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:24,514 mwah -- I will put more effort in, okay? 507 00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:25,599 Mwah. 508 00:20:25,682 --> 00:20:26,683 Good night. 509 00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:29,937 Dad? 510 00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,271 Yeah? 511 00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:33,690 Is Will really not Jewish? 512 00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:36,109 Of course he is, honey. 513 00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:38,320 Of course he is. 514 00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:45,869 As I held his dying body in my arms, 515 00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:48,205 {\an8}he looked me right in the eyes and said, 516 00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:49,957 {\an8}"Do Halloween for me." 517 00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:51,875 {\an8}And then he was gone. 518 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:54,086 {\an8}Off to the big haunted house in the sky. 519 00:20:54,169 --> 00:20:55,921 {\an8}How awful. 520 00:20:56,004 --> 00:20:57,339 {\an8}- Thank you. 521 00:20:58,173 --> 00:20:59,424 {\an8}What's going on here? 522 00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:01,426 {\an8}Oh, my God! Will, Sophie! 523 00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:02,552 {\an8}You're alive! 524 00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:04,805 {\an8}Hell yeah, they are. Y'all got spooked. 525 00:21:04,888 --> 00:21:08,308 {\an8}Um, Miggy... what's happening? 526 00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:10,686 {\an8}Don't ever question my spookability again. 527 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,729 {\an8}Wilson, we out. 528 00:21:15,315 --> 00:21:17,901 {\an8}I lost you once. I won't lose you again. 529 00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:19,569 {\an8}Mmm. 530 00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:21,071 {\an8}Mmm. 531 00:21:21,154 --> 00:21:22,239 {\an8}Mwah. 532 00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:24,533 {\an8}Happy Halloween.