1 00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:02,252 (school bell rings) 2 00:00:02,335 --> 00:00:04,546 So, this is how we're kicking off Thanksgiving, huh? 3 00:00:04,629 --> 00:00:08,466 Watching a second-grade president on a power trip pardon a turkey? 4 00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:10,677 Sad thing is, this is the highlight of my week. 5 00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:13,430 Give Rory a break. He's running for re-election. 6 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,057 I spent all night helping him with his Barack Obama impression. 7 00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:17,976 (as Obama) Uh, look, uh, I want to be clear. 8 00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:19,477 - That's pretty good. - Thanks. 9 00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:21,062 Hey. Miggy's gonna be a minute. 10 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:22,605 He's stuck in the security line. 11 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:23,773 - (wand warbling) - This ain't right. 12 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,650 We all got a job to do. 13 00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:28,236 Hey, Room Parent, I saw your coffee station. 14 00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:31,031 A little worried those beans weren't farmed responsibly. 15 00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:32,991 Yeah, that's because they weren't. Move along, please. 16 00:00:33,074 --> 00:00:34,284 Hm. 17 00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:38,705 Pronstroller -- she just broke up with her boyfriend, 18 00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:41,666 so now all of her extra energy is directed on me. 19 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:42,959 She texted me last night, 20 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,962 asking if I was okay with non-gendered CPR dummies. 21 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,798 - Hmm. - I have no opinion in these matters. 22 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:51,301 Tell you what I do know -- that woman needs a man. 23 00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:52,761 - (scoffs) - Uh -- 24 00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:55,638 Will, why don't you take her off my hands? 25 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:56,806 I'm dating someone. 26 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,016 Tracy Freeze? 27 00:00:58,099 --> 00:01:00,351 I told you I'm bringing her to your Thanksgiving? 28 00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:01,561 Hey, Miggy. 29 00:01:01,644 --> 00:01:04,230 Did you know if you don't have kids at this school, they put you on a list? 30 00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:07,567 Check this -- you and me, we're gonna be the only single losers at Thanksgiving. 31 00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:08,902 Oh, you're not gonna love this, 32 00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:11,112 but, um, I've been seeing someone for a few weeks. 33 00:01:11,196 --> 00:01:14,074 We're vibing pretty hard! I'm gonna bring her. 34 00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:15,158 Really? 35 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:18,036 So, it's just gonna be me and Tony at the singles table. 36 00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:19,204 Well, actually, 37 00:01:19,287 --> 00:01:20,872 Cassandra and Tony are back together again. 38 00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:23,875 She stopped gambling, and he's actually learning how to listen. 39 00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:25,752 ♪ 'Cause we're number one ♪ 40 00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:28,379 ♪ Number one, number one, number one, number one ♪ 41 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:30,048 ♪ Number one, number one ♪ 42 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:31,925 Good morning, Hilltop. 43 00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:34,677 Today, I would like to grant a presidential pardon 44 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,221 to a very special guest. 45 00:01:36,304 --> 00:01:38,848 Please welcome Cookies! 46 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,308 - (cheers and applause) - ("Hail to the Chief" plays on stereo) 47 00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:42,352 (turkey gobbling, squawking) 48 00:01:44,312 --> 00:01:45,438 Whoa! 49 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:48,233 - Code Blue! Get him out! - Let's go! Let's go! 50 00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:49,317 (laughs) 51 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:53,655 ♪♪ 52 00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:54,739 (turkey gobbles) 53 00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:56,282 ♪♪ 54 00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:57,784 {\an8}Oh. 55 00:01:57,867 --> 00:01:58,952 {\an8}Hello, Tony. 56 00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:00,537 {\an8}Happy Thanksgiving. 57 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,039 {\an8}I thought I was doing the turkey, 58 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,874 {\an8}but I guess we have two turkeys. 59 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,084 {\an8}What a blessing. 60 00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:08,461 {\an8}(bag thuds) 61 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:09,879 {\an8}Well, he's doing it again. 62 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,506 {\an8}Tony always has to one-up me at the holidays. 63 00:02:11,589 --> 00:02:12,841 {\an8}This is just like Labor Day. 64 00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:14,801 {\an8}(children laughing) 65 00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:19,973 {\an8}♪♪ 66 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:21,766 {\an8}You know what? Tony is an old man. 67 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:24,102 {\an8}The only thing he's at war with is time. 68 00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:25,979 {\an8}Well, looks like my hands are gonna be full, 69 00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:28,481 {\an8}so can you do me a favor and hang out with Tracy when she gets here? 70 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:29,858 {\an8}Oh, really, dude? 71 00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:31,985 {\an8}The one good thing about being single on Thanksgiving 72 00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,903 {\an8}is being able to drink without having responsibility 73 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,238 {\an8}for anybody but myself. 74 00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:36,990 {\an8}- Isn't Graham here? - Probably. 75 00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:39,367 {\an8}Look, it'll be easy. You and Tracy are friends. 76 00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:41,703 {\an8}We've said, like, four words to each other ever -- 77 00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:43,621 {\an8}"Hi," "Hello," "Hey," and "Nice shoes," 78 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:46,249 {\an8}which is just girl-speak for "Hello," so, doesn't count. 79 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:48,543 {\an8}Angie, this is Tracy and I's first holiday together, 80 00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:50,086 {\an8}and, more importantly, 81 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,172 {\an8}my first opportunity to cook her a bird. 82 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,007 {\an8}So the stakes could not be higher. 83 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,509 {\an8}I'm begging you, please just put in a little effort. 84 00:02:56,593 --> 00:03:00,138 {\an8}Today is about gathering and sharing in the... 85 00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:01,890 {\an8}Oh, no, that's fine, Tony. 86 00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:04,184 {\an8}Use as much of my sea salt as you need. 87 00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:06,769 {\an8}Son of a bitch. 88 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,063 {\an8}What are we doing? The guests are arriving. 89 00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,356 {\an8}And you know this is a white Thanksgiving, 90 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,275 {\an8}so folks are gonna want to eat at 2:00. 91 00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:16,654 {\an8}I just want to savor this moment before we're besieged with riffraff -- 92 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:19,240 {\an8}and, yes, I am including our kids in that mix. 93 00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,576 {\an8}Oh. Well, I don't know. It's such a big house. 94 00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:23,661 {\an8}So many rooms to give thanks in. 95 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:27,373 {\an8}- Indeed. - Including rooms I've never seen before. 96 00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:28,583 (handle rattles) 97 00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:30,210 Oh, that door's locked. 98 00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:31,544 Can we unlock it? 99 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:35,298 Let's not ruin the sensual atmosphere with questions. 100 00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:36,424 - Uh-huh. - (doorbell rings) 101 00:03:36,507 --> 00:03:38,468 Time to play host. 102 00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:39,928 (grunts) 103 00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:42,305 Okay. Sorry, but what's behind the door? 104 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:44,182 (inhales sharply) 105 00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:47,018 Oh, your ass gonna get opened. 106 00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:50,230 This is the life. 107 00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:52,649 Why do we need to wait for holidays to relax? 108 00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:55,235 Every Thursday should be like this. 109 00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:57,654 Emma Fogerty's off the clock. 110 00:03:57,737 --> 00:03:58,905 (sighs) 111 00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:00,657 Feels good to let the gut out. 112 00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:02,700 (doorbell rings) 113 00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,286 Fine, I'll get it. 114 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:08,831 Got forbid I lay down for five seconds. 115 00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:10,500 (sighs) 116 00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:13,962 (door creaks) 117 00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:17,131 Ms. Homily Pronstroller! 118 00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:19,050 Graham. Happy Genocide Day. 119 00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:20,802 My teacher. 120 00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:22,804 In my temporary home? 121 00:04:23,304 --> 00:04:24,931 Who's watching the school? 122 00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:26,099 Hi, friends. 123 00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:27,892 Uh, what are we doing with our day? 124 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,435 I hope we're not just lying around. 125 00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:32,355 - Um...no. No. - (scoffs) 126 00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:34,774 We are in our comfy pants... 127 00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:38,152 because we are rehearsing our Thanksgiving play. 128 00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:41,739 HOMILY: Well, I'm sure it'll reflect everything I've taught you 129 00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:44,075 and not traditional holiday stereotypes. 130 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:47,787 GRAHAM: Great. Now we got to come up with a play. 131 00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:48,913 We're screwed. 132 00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,374 Do any of you even remember the Thanksgiving unit? 133 00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:52,792 No. (sighs) 134 00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:56,129 If I thought I wasn't gonna direct a play today, I was crazy. 135 00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:57,547 To the sauna! 136 00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:00,675 Okay, so you're really just gonna let it sit... 137 00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:02,427 - You're dating the teacher? - Yeah. 138 00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:04,846 Did you think I was hanging out at your kids' school for no reason? 139 00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:05,930 And none of you said anything? 140 00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:08,975 Oh, this is fantastic. I was hoping she'd start dating again 141 00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:11,561 so she'd have more in her life than just ordering me around. 142 00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:13,604 Miggy, my simple friend, 143 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,356 you are the answer to my prayers. 144 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,150 Our vibe is electric. 145 00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:19,444 Me plus her equals heart emoji plus fireworks emoji 146 00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:21,654 plus a double dose of train emojis. 147 00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:23,573 - It's an inside joke. - Mm. 148 00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:25,366 Douglas, did you get my text 149 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,910 about the blow-up snowman we got for the holiday pageant? 150 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,245 Well, it didn't come with a motor, 151 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,872 so you're gonna have to blow it up with your mouth. 152 00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:32,957 I did and will certainly get to it. 153 00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:35,752 I just wouldn't want to take time away from you and Miggy. 154 00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:41,174 ♪♪ 155 00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:43,384 You call that vibe electric? 156 00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:44,635 Why didn't you say anything? 157 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,137 Oh, we've never talked. 158 00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:47,930 You're dating someone you've never talked to? 159 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,974 That's how people date in the digital age. 160 00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:53,394 It's all about sliding into DMs, GIFs, likes, reposts, double taps. 161 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:54,479 You feel me? 162 00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:57,315 I do not, nor will I ever. 163 00:05:58,566 --> 00:06:00,943 Nice shoes, Tracy. 164 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,028 Oh, nice shoes to you. 165 00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:03,112 Hmm. 166 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:06,407 (plate taps lightly) 167 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:08,451 Did I say "nice shoes"? 168 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:10,453 Yeah. Did I say it back? 169 00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:11,829 - Yeah. - Mm. 170 00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:16,793 You know, it's been a while since I've done a group Thanksgiving. 171 00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,461 Most years, I just do Walter's Diner. 172 00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:19,545 Shut up. 173 00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:21,756 - You know Walter's? - Yes! Of course. 174 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:23,508 It's exclusively for sad and single people. 175 00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:25,551 It's like the middle seat on a plane, but a restaurant. 176 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,804 Huh. Tracy Freeze knows Walter's. 177 00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:29,263 Did not see that coming. 178 00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:30,848 Oh, yeah. I'm a wild card. 179 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:33,309 Check this -- I have a bearded dragon named BJ. 180 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,769 What? No way. 181 00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:37,105 Yeah. No cage. Just loose in my house. 182 00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:39,315 Okay, Freeze. I'm not changing the channel. 183 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,650 What else you got? 184 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,485 (door opens) 185 00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:44,529 Miggy? A moment? 186 00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:47,865 - Yo. - Listen. 187 00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:49,659 I just got another e-mail from Pronstroller. 188 00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:52,328 Subject heading -- "Clear your next five Saturdays." 189 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,288 I thought you were gonna get her off my back. 190 00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:57,166 Dude, I told you, people my age don't have conversations. 191 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,293 Well, maybe it's time you learned how to have one. 192 00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:01,337 In fact...Pronstroller? 193 00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:03,673 Both of you, in my study, 10 minutes. 194 00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,007 And you may want to brace yourself, 195 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:08,594 because I have multiple paintings by George W. Bush in there. 196 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,388 Oh. 197 00:07:10,471 --> 00:07:11,472 - (both laugh) - You're kidding. 198 00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,766 - I am not kidding! - Oh. 199 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:16,310 This printer is stylish and fire-resistant. 200 00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:17,562 - Oh. - Snerfink. 201 00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:18,729 - Mm. - Make a note of it in your phone. 202 00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:20,898 - S-N-E-R-F... - Mm-hmm. 203 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:22,316 - ...I-N-K. - I-N-K. 204 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:23,651 - Mm-hmm. - I am sold. 205 00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:24,735 I am buying one. 206 00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:26,571 Can't! It was recalled years ago. 207 00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:27,655 - No. - Okay, your turn. 208 00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:29,782 Okay. Um...let's see. 209 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:32,076 I told you about... 210 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,495 the Chipotle I co-own in Memphis, 211 00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,789 - my meltdown at the Laugh Factory... - Ah. 212 00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:40,126 ...how I was in the test trial of NuvaRing. 213 00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:42,003 I feel like that's it. 214 00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:43,087 Dig deep, Freeze. 215 00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,923 I'm gonna go gas up, and when I come back, I want juicy. 216 00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:48,926 - Juice. - Juice. 217 00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:51,929 I think Tony put something in my gravy. 218 00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:54,557 How's it going with Tracy? Seems like you guys are bonding. 219 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:55,766 We are. 220 00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:58,060 Will, did you know that Tracy is actually cool? 221 00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,104 Like, you are dating a cool person. 222 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:02,023 She's got a frickin' loose lizard in her house. 223 00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:05,443 Well, Angie, and I mean this in the nicest way possible -- 224 00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:06,527 in your face. 225 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:07,612 (sighs) 226 00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:10,823 So, you want me to tell you everything I know about Thanksgiving. 227 00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:13,659 Yeah, and hurry. Or do you not want me to go to college? 228 00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:14,869 (clears throat) Okay. 229 00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:17,330 Um...Plymouth Rock. 230 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,291 Corn is maize. 231 00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,668 Um...Santa Maria? 232 00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:24,629 That was Columbus. Are you kidding me? 233 00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:26,255 This was a waste of my time. 234 00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:27,924 Alright. You were right. 235 00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:29,008 I was wrong. 236 00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:31,177 She's perfect. Are you happy? 237 00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:34,013 I will be happy when I am standing on Tony's grave. 238 00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:35,306 (appliance beeps) 239 00:08:35,389 --> 00:08:36,682 Tony, don't touch that stuff! 240 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,976 I'll preheat your ass to 350! 241 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,105 Oh, Angie, do you know anything about... 242 00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:44,273 Of course, you don't. 243 00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:50,029 - (wine pours) - Hey, uh, I thought of something juicy 244 00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:51,364 - to tell you about me. - Ooh. 245 00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:52,657 Juice me, Freeze. 246 00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:54,909 But, remember, you can't tell anyone, especially Will. 247 00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:56,536 Mama loves a secret. Come on. 248 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,037 I, um... 249 00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,082 I don't like Sophie. 250 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,209 (exhales sharply) Hey-o! 251 00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:04,919 (chuckles) But for real, what is it? 252 00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:07,713 No, for real. That kid is so annoying. 253 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,590 - Ooh! (chuckles) Yeah. - Right? 254 00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:12,093 - Mm! - (laughs) Oh, God. 255 00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:13,928 - This is fun. - Mm-hmm. 256 00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:15,346 What fun. 257 00:09:15,429 --> 00:09:16,430 - (chuckles) - (laughs) 258 00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:17,765 We're still having fun. 259 00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:20,017 (laughs) Mm. 260 00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:23,437 ♪♪ 261 00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:28,651 Alrighty. First things first -- give me your phones. 262 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:29,819 What? 263 00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:32,405 I'll give them back to you when we're done. Come on. 264 00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:36,826 Miggy, what are you doing? 265 00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:38,452 Oh. Sometimes, when I don't have my phone, 266 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:39,912 my thumb continues texting. 267 00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:40,997 Stop it! 268 00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:45,251 Alright, I've come up with a few everyday conversation starters. 269 00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:48,713 "Baseball Hall of Famers." 270 00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:50,464 "Poetry -- Why?" 271 00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,300 - "Conical-shaped brassieres." - (chuckles) 272 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:55,636 "How to look like a gentleman in the hot summer months." 273 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:56,846 Now, that is a rich vein, 274 00:09:56,929 --> 00:10:00,266 and you may find yourself musing on the subject of shorts. 275 00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:01,726 Are they ever appropriate? 276 00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:03,436 You'll get there on your own. 277 00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:08,899 (door closes) 278 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:15,906 ♪♪ 279 00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:18,618 Oh, hey, Poppy. There you are. 280 00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:20,119 I've got to talk to you. Wait, what are you doing? 281 00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:21,412 Douglas won't tell me what's behind this door, 282 00:10:21,495 --> 00:10:22,538 so (clicks tongue) I'm breaking in. 283 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,290 Yeah. My thing's more interesting. 284 00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:25,750 Look. Get this, alright? 285 00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:27,543 Will's girlfriend, Tracy Freeze, 286 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:30,630 said she doesn't like Sophie. 287 00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:31,881 Bombshell. 288 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:33,924 - Wait. How is that a bombshell? - Because. 289 00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:36,677 Wouldn't you be upset if Douglas said Rory was annoying? 290 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:38,804 Oh, I'm pretty sure Douglas does find Rory annoying, 291 00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,473 because -- news flash -- kids are annoying. 292 00:10:40,556 --> 00:10:43,351 Ooh, that should be a slogan for condoms. 293 00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:46,187 Anyway, Ang, please tell me you didn't make a big deal out of this. 294 00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:47,563 Relax, alright? 295 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:50,107 On the inside, I was super judgmental, 296 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,193 but on the outside, I said all the right things. 297 00:10:52,276 --> 00:10:53,694 Oh, God. 298 00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:56,822 I can't believe I said I didn't like my boyfriend's daughter. 299 00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,407 That is a big problem. 300 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,493 And also, I meant it. Ohhh. 301 00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:01,577 Are Will and I doomed? 302 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:04,789 (high-pitched) I meeeeeean... 303 00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:07,083 Oh, no. You "I meaned" her? 304 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:08,959 (normal voice) "I mean" is a neutral statement. 305 00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:10,586 Yeah, but what about the high-pitched part? 306 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:11,796 That part I can't explain. 307 00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:14,757 Look, don't you think that Will should know about this? 308 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,926 Okay, look, Ang, I'm on my own deadline here, okay, 309 00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,135 so let's speed things along. 310 00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:19,428 Permission to switch into bitch mode. 311 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:20,513 Permission granted. 312 00:11:20,596 --> 00:11:22,098 Bitch, what is this really about? 313 00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:23,808 Are you hating on other people's relationships 314 00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,518 just because you're the only single person here? 315 00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:28,437 (scoffs) Bitch, do not single-shame me, alright? 316 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,730 I may not be in a relationship, 317 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:32,149 but at least I'm not trying to break into my boyfriend's locked door. 318 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:34,276 (gasps) Bitch, that man had a secret son. 319 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,112 For all I know, there's a twin brother behind that door, 320 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:37,405 or -- or a dead wife 321 00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:40,908 or illegally imported skin products I could use just in case black does crack. 322 00:11:40,991 --> 00:11:43,369 Now, look, Ang, Will and Tracy's relationship 323 00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:44,453 is not your business. 324 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,622 So just support him. He'd do the same for you. 325 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,333 (exhales sharply) You're right, okay? 326 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:50,710 I will let it go. 327 00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:51,961 But for the record, 328 00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:53,587 I'm not the only single person here. 329 00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:56,006 None of the kids have dates. 330 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:57,883 Yes, bitch. 331 00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:02,847 - Hey, have you seen Poppy? - WILL: No. 332 00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:05,516 Have you seen Tracy or Angie or Miggy 333 00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:06,726 or any of our children? 334 00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:08,060 Where is everyone? 335 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,270 What the hell happened to your hand? 336 00:12:09,353 --> 00:12:11,397 The short version is, I punched Tony's turkey. 337 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,065 Will you cut the guy a break? 338 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:14,859 He's a good egg, and he's had a hard life. 339 00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:16,694 He's seen things -- 340 00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:19,113 usually through the sight of a high-powered rifle. 341 00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:22,742 - (crash in distance) - What was that? 342 00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:26,746 That's the sound of two 24-year-olds attempting to have a conversation. 343 00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:30,207 They must have gotten to the card that says "Desert Storm." 344 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:31,584 (chuckles) Right. 345 00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:32,668 Wait, what? 346 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:35,463 We had to invade. Saddam had us by the balls -- 347 00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:36,547 Oh, God! 348 00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:38,591 Hey, Douglas. Great flashcards. 349 00:12:38,674 --> 00:12:39,800 Hope you don't want them back. 350 00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:44,096 It's been two hours, and we're nowhere. 351 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,598 What do we do? 352 00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:47,057 You know what? I say we stage a medical emergency. 353 00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:48,601 Sophie, let me see you faint. 354 00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:49,935 - You do it. - Fine. 355 00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:51,103 Take notes, babies. 356 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,646 (breathes deeply) 357 00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:54,064 It's '97, 358 00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:56,901 and we've just lost our princess. 359 00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:58,736 (sighs) 360 00:12:58,819 --> 00:12:59,904 (door opens) 361 00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:01,405 Hey, guys. 362 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,699 Who said that? Are you an angel? 363 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,493 Yeah. Have you seen Tracy? 364 00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:06,619 No. 365 00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:07,703 Hey, Angie, what the heck? 366 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,330 I just got a text. Tracy said she left? 367 00:13:09,413 --> 00:13:10,831 Oh, my God. 368 00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:12,666 Okay. Come with me. 369 00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:15,753 And scene. 370 00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:19,924 Mm. Ah. 371 00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:23,844 Mm. Hey, D, you want to get in on this? 372 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,805 Do I want to drink from the faucet with you? 373 00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:27,848 - I do not. - Okay. 374 00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:30,726 Uh, guess you didn't need those flashcards. 375 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,020 No, we did. We got to one that said "boat names," 376 00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:34,104 and I was like, "I don't know any," 377 00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:35,731 and she was like, "Let's have sex." 378 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,858 And you obliged, in my home. 379 00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:41,111 Well, at least things with you two are moving along. 380 00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:42,196 Nah, we're through. 381 00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:45,908 We DM'd, we liked each other's posts, we had sex. 382 00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:47,076 - That's the arc. - No, no, no. 383 00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,744 The arc is you keep seeing her 384 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,330 so I can get back to a world with no nut allergies 385 00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:53,624 and where everyone knows what gender they are. 386 00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:55,501 Yeah, but I don't know if I really like Pronstroller. 387 00:13:55,584 --> 00:13:56,669 I barely know her. 388 00:13:56,752 --> 00:13:59,004 Well, then, why end it before you find out? 389 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:01,340 Come on. Don't pretend like you care. (scoffs) 390 00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:02,508 I do. 391 00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:05,678 I started to like the idea of you having someone. 392 00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:08,055 I was tired of watching you walk around alone 393 00:14:08,138 --> 00:14:10,724 with your weird hat and weird baby. 394 00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:12,226 He is weird, right? 395 00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:16,355 Listen, you can always go back to your BMs, 396 00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:18,566 but you have to ask yourself -- 397 00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:21,944 "Maybe I'm ready for something more real." 398 00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:24,029 You mean like what you have with Poppy? 399 00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:25,573 Do not discuss my private life. 400 00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:27,575 But yes. 401 00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:31,787 Hey, guys, the play is almost... 402 00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:34,582 Oh, no. 403 00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:36,375 Oh, God. 404 00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:38,335 No one's buying it, Rory. 405 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,754 God, this kid's annoying. 406 00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:45,301 ♪♪ 407 00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:46,760 WILL: Walter's? 408 00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:49,221 Isn't this place for people without families, loved ones, or hope? 409 00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,932 No depression, no despair, no service. 410 00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,893 Oh, no. Tracy is here. 411 00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:55,603 Ugh, this is all my fault. 412 00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:57,271 I got so caught up in my feud with Tony, 413 00:14:57,354 --> 00:14:59,148 I didn't spend any time with my girlfriend. 414 00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:00,774 What if that was Tony's plan all along? 415 00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:01,859 Will, no. 416 00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:04,737 (sighs) This is actually on me. 417 00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:07,406 We started talking about your relationship, 418 00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:09,199 and I may have spooked her. 419 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:10,576 What? How? 420 00:15:10,659 --> 00:15:12,161 It was accidental. 421 00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:14,955 Oh. I specifically asked you to be supportive this time. 422 00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:16,749 A-And I was, and it was going really well. 423 00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:18,334 I even shared some of Douglas' wine -- 424 00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,878 the good stuff that I hoard for myself in the sauna. 425 00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:23,047 But then she said something that I didn't love, 426 00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:24,340 and I tried to be cool -- 427 00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:25,799 Oh, God. You "I meaned" her. 428 00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:28,177 - No. I never said that. - You "I mean" me all the time. 429 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,470 Why do you think I have a beard again? 430 00:15:29,553 --> 00:15:30,721 Is that why that thing is back? 431 00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:32,514 You do think I look better with it, right? 432 00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:34,600 - (high-pitched voice) I meeeeeeean... - (scoffs) 433 00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:36,518 - Well, now, I am very confused. - (normal voice) Okay, look. 434 00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:39,605 Tracy is great, okay? 435 00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:42,232 And maybe I was feeling down 436 00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:44,902 about being the only single person at Thanksgiving, 437 00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:46,946 and I took it out on her. 438 00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:50,157 But you're in a good relationship -- over the holidays. 439 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,325 That never happens. 440 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,871 So, go. Get your girl. 441 00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:01,085 - Thanks. - (seatbelt unbuckles) 442 00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:03,921 Wait. What did Tracy say that upset you? 443 00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:05,798 She just said that... 444 00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:08,092 she was very excited to try Tony's turkey. 445 00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:10,552 Oh, yeah? Well, is she also excited for him to go straight to Hell? 446 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,221 - Don't do this. Just go. - Okay. 447 00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:16,892 ♪♪ 448 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:21,855 ♪♪ 449 00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:28,320 ♪♪ 450 00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:30,239 That's what I'm talking about, Walter. 451 00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:32,324 Keep that diner single. 452 00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:36,495 Are you okay? I haven't seen you all day. 453 00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:37,788 Look. 454 00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:42,167 The truth is, I got in my head that you're hiding something in here. 455 00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:43,836 And this is your next logical step? 456 00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:44,962 Hey, in my defense, 457 00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:46,547 you've had your share of skeletons, Douglas. 458 00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:48,507 Okay, you're right. I haven't been an open book. 459 00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:51,218 But I promise you, I'm not hiding any more adult sons. 460 00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:52,886 Why'd you specify adult sons? 461 00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:54,680 You know what? I'm sorry. 462 00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:57,057 I'm just -- I'm paranoid because... 463 00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:59,518 I haven't been in something this good in a while, 464 00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:01,437 and you're making me a little crazy. 465 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,355 (chuckles) You think you're crazy? 466 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:06,400 I just lectured Miggy on the benefits of romance, 467 00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:08,819 and that was only 50% out of self-interest. 468 00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:10,612 That's what you're doing to my brain. 469 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:14,199 You actually make me thankful on Thanksgiving. 470 00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:16,994 - For me? - Mm-hmm. 471 00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:20,289 Well, I'm thankful for you, too. 472 00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:24,460 ♪♪ 473 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,963 And I meant everything I said. 474 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,798 But I really got to know what's behind this door. 475 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,300 - So, can you... - (sighs) 476 00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,010 You are unbelievable. 477 00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:34,553 Well, I-I just want to see it. 478 00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:38,599 - (sighs) - (sighs) 479 00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:40,142 Well, that's a real let-down. 480 00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:41,518 Yeah. 481 00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:45,105 (indistinct conversations) 482 00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:49,818 Hey, so, uh, I made a couple of cards. 483 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,153 They're not as good as Douglas', 484 00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:54,198 but...I-I want to get to know you. 485 00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,033 ♪♪ 486 00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:57,367 Okay. (chuckles) 487 00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,161 "Food." 488 00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:01,538 "Table." 489 00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:03,415 "Chairs." 490 00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,626 W-Were these just things you were looking at? 491 00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:07,461 Yeah, yeah. You know what? You're right. These are stupid. 492 00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:08,962 No, no. I want to talk. 493 00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:11,507 Let's do, um...food. 494 00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:12,925 - Okay. - Okay. 495 00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:15,803 Um...I... 496 00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:17,638 I like ranch dressing. 497 00:18:17,721 --> 00:18:18,972 I love ranch! 498 00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:20,724 It's my second-favorite food, after ketchup. 499 00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:23,977 So, is everything cool with Tracy? 500 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:25,104 Yeah. 501 00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:27,481 I, uh, I think I'll wait till after the holidays 502 00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:28,565 to bring up the Tony thing -- 503 00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:30,692 if they aren't sleeping with each other by then. 504 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:32,861 Or you could drop it and never bring it up. 505 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,571 (laughing) Oh, Angie. 506 00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:35,948 Permission to go full bitch mode? 507 00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:37,574 - Denied. - Damn it. 508 00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:38,992 I'm gonna go check on my turkey. 509 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:40,410 (chuckles) 510 00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:42,412 ♪♪ 511 00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:46,208 So...glad you and Will worked things out. 512 00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:47,334 We did. 513 00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:49,044 And thank you for bringing him to Walter's 514 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,213 and not spilling any of that crazy stuff I said. 515 00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:52,422 Oh. Of course. 516 00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:53,882 I mean, you know, the truth is, it's... 517 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,551 it's not that crazy. 518 00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:58,178 I didn't really get kids until I had one of my own. 519 00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:00,097 And even now, I'm only half on board. 520 00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:01,890 Kidding. Wonderful child. 521 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,100 I get it, Angie. 522 00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:05,102 You and Will are both parents. 523 00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:06,812 You'll always have that bond. 524 00:19:07,437 --> 00:19:08,814 I'm not part of your club. 525 00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:10,691 Oh. Well, no, that's not what I meant. 526 00:19:10,774 --> 00:19:11,984 It's all good. 527 00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:15,112 And it was fun almost making friends with you tonight. 528 00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:16,196 Almost? 529 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,490 - But I thought we had a good time. - TRACY: We did. 530 00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,784 But I don't think we're gonna do that again. 531 00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,246 Thank you for keeping my secret, 532 00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:27,040 and I promise I will keep yours. 533 00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:28,667 Wait, what secret? 534 00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:29,793 (sighs lightly) 535 00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:31,420 I think you know. 536 00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:35,757 You're in my seat. 537 00:19:38,468 --> 00:19:39,469 Oh. 538 00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:44,892 (indistinct conversations) 539 00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:51,356 Oh. You must be Cassandra. 540 00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:53,984 GRAHAM: Mom, over here. 541 00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:59,990 Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Tony's turkey. 542 00:20:00,073 --> 00:20:01,491 - Wow. - DOUGLAS: As big as a condor 543 00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:03,035 and twice as delicious. (chuckles) 544 00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:05,370 But, also, probably more important, 545 00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:07,915 is save some room for my turkey, which will be out shortly. 546 00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:10,334 It's just someone turned off the oven. 547 00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:12,252 But you don't know anything about that, do you, Tony? 548 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:13,420 There. There. He just smiled. 549 00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:14,963 Did you see that? Did you see? 550 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,757 He's 110 pounds of pure evil. 551 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,550 Okay, Will, just eat the damn turkey. 552 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:19,760 Fine. 553 00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:22,971 I will eat this slop, but I will not be happy about -- 554 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,765 Oh. Oh, my God. 555 00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:26,725 It's the best thing I've ever tasted in my life. 556 00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:28,810 It's my own fault. 557 00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:31,146 All those times I punched it made it more tender. 558 00:20:31,688 --> 00:20:35,484 (smacks lips) Okay. Tony, you've done it again. 559 00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:37,027 Tony. 560 00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:38,445 Tony. 561 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,155 Tony? 562 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,865 Ah, let him sleep. 563 00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:44,117 He has a 5k tomorrow. 564 00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:46,370 To Thanksgiving. 565 00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:49,581 - ALL: Happy Thanksgiving. - (glasses clink) 566 00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:53,252 {\an8}This is the story about Thanksgiving -- 567 00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:56,213 {\an8}a story that reflects all of the knowledge bestowed upon us 568 00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,715 {\an8}by our guest of honor, Ms. Pronstroller. 569 00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:00,217 {\an8}(adults murmur) 570 00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,388 {\an8}Pilgrims. 571 00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:05,973 {\an8}Native Americans. 572 00:21:06,056 --> 00:21:07,391 {\an8}A new world. 573 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,268 {\an8}Turkeys. 574 00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:11,478 {\an8}- Cranberries. - A boat. 575 00:21:11,561 --> 00:21:13,689 {\an8}- Two boats. - Three boats. 576 00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:15,941 {\an8}Possibly four boats. 577 00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:18,235 {\an8}♪♪ 578 00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:20,404 {\an8}Is this all they've learned this year? 579 00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:22,614 {\an8}Please e-mail all concerns to Douglas. 580 00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:24,783 {\an8}♪♪