1 00:00:03,571 --> 00:00:05,571 We want matching 2200-watt industrial jackhammers. 2 00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:07,876 There's more. Get a pen out, old man. 3 00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:09,608 It's weird to see Santa outside. 4 00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:10,783 It feels wrong, 5 00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:12,311 like when there's a bird in the airport. 6 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:13,746 [ Chuckles ] Oh, I don't mind this. 7 00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:16,181 Watching people smoke while they're waiting for Santa 8 00:00:16,217 --> 00:00:17,517 takes me back to my childhood. 9 00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:18,921 Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late. 10 00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:20,992 Had to look my best for old Saint Nick. 11 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,191 What are we working with? 12 00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:24,234 Well, he's a little sweaty, 13 00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:25,128 but I dig that he's legit fat. 14 00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,529 But how rosy are those cheeks? 15 00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:29,631 How merry are those dimples? 16 00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:32,133 Okay, I cannot support your Santa fetish. 17 00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:33,696 Look, it was very thoughtful of you all to keep me in the mix, 18 00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:34,844 but I'm gonna go. 19 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:35,838 No! No! What? 20 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,509 Yeah, it just feels weird 21 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,168 standing in line for Santa on Christmas Eve 22 00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:40,137 without a kid. 23 00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:41,944 Oh, you can borrow one of mine. 24 00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:44,175 Douglas, Rory is not replaceable. 25 00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:45,482 Now, this first Christmas without him is gonna be hard, 26 00:00:45,513 --> 00:00:47,823 but I had him last year, 27 00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:49,378 so I have to deal with the fact that it's Ron's turn. 28 00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:52,347 I'm sure Rory's having a blast in Hawaii. Yeah. 29 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,556 Hey, want to be my plus-one to Dwayne's Christmas party? 30 00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:57,588 It's gonna be me, Dwayne, and that's about it. 31 00:00:57,625 --> 00:00:59,085 Thanks, Miggy, but I know myself, 32 00:00:59,127 --> 00:01:00,587 and tonight is about sadness. 33 00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:03,398 Like "trying a recipe from a box of crackers"- style sadness. 34 00:01:03,431 --> 00:01:04,571 That's sad. 35 00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:05,498 -I'll see y'all in the new year. -All righty. 36 00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:07,173 -Bye, Poppy. -Bye. 37 00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:08,801 Yo, G! It's almost your turn! 38 00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:10,166 You psyched out of your mind? 39 00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:12,714 I wish, but something happened at school 40 00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:15,010 that sent me into a real spiral. 41 00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:17,012 [ School bell rings ] I can't believe it's Christmas! 42 00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:19,084 What did you ask Santa for? 43 00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:21,283 Um, I don't mean to ruin anything for you, 44 00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:23,115 but if Santa was real, 45 00:01:23,151 --> 00:01:26,391 he would have to visit 800 houses per second. 46 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:29,220 [ Dramatic music plays ] 47 00:01:29,257 --> 00:01:31,087 I don't want her to be right, 48 00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:32,685 but things aren't adding up. 49 00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:34,356 Emma: Um, heads up, Sophie. 50 00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:36,695 This Santa's weirdly religious. 51 00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:38,430 This Mall Santa's a formality. 52 00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:40,096 This Christmas is gonna go down 53 00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:41,604 just like all the others -- 54 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,895 my mom's gonna rock it, and Dad's gonna blow it. 55 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,837 Angie: Is that true? 56 00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:47,583 Yep. Christmas is all Mia. 57 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:48,838 Every year she sends Sophie 58 00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:50,736 this Magic Box of awesome presents, 59 00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:51,948 and I usually just end up 60 00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:53,679 getting her a bunch of forgettable crap. 61 00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:56,454 That fights everything I know to be true about you. 62 00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:57,924 -Word. -But it's the truth. 63 00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,591 I-I phone it in. 64 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,320 Christmas presents are overrated anyway. 65 00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:03,115 That's why I keep it super chill at my house. 66 00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:04,957 I just get Graham a bunch of Legos, 67 00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:07,332 and he writes me a story about the two of us. 68 00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:09,101 Wait, you don't exchange gifts with anybody else? 69 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,729 Mnh-mnh. Not even your boyfriend? 70 00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:11,734 Owen? No. 71 00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,665 He's not my boyfriend. Oh. 72 00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,441 You know, we're keeping it at a nice, slow pace. 73 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,139 You're up, Graham. 74 00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:19,111 I can't face the big guy right now. 75 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,739 I have too many questions. 76 00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,314 Hey, I got you, G. 77 00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:24,513 It's Santa time, Jack! 78 00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,075 Hey, can you hold this little dude for me? 79 00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:27,753 Thanks, brotha. 80 00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:30,221 Yo, Santa, make some room on that lap for a big boy! 81 00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:31,691 Santa: No, no, no, no. 82 00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:33,149 -No! -Ah! 83 00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:35,757 Okay, h-he is doing this for the kids' benefit, right? 84 00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:37,659 He doesn't actually believe in Santa? 85 00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,891 I don't even want to know. He drives our kids around. 86 00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:42,227 ** 87 00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:45,203 -- Captions by VITAC -- 88 00:02:45,233 --> 00:02:47,773 ** 89 00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:49,601 [ Knocking on door ] 90 00:02:49,637 --> 00:02:50,637 Ugh. 91 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:52,441 Not while I'm taping things. 92 00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:56,813 ** 93 00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:58,454 Owen? 94 00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:00,679 Ho...Ho... 95 00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:02,784 Ho... Oh, ho! 96 00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:04,986 You've made the naughty list. [ Gasps ] 97 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,348 [ Both laugh ] 98 00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:08,187 I'm sorry. Is this horrible? No. 99 00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:10,492 I mean, you know, for anybody else, maybe, but... 100 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,694 Oh, you know Ol' Angie D is a Santa Hound. 101 00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:13,956 Mm. Mm. 102 00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,704 Ooh, I got a package for you. 103 00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:18,169 Oh. Okay. 104 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,028 We're exchanging gifts. 105 00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:20,997 Well, yeah, I mean, this is cool, right? 106 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,544 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Very cool. 107 00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:23,740 [ Chuckles ] 108 00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:26,211 But, um, you know, I-I rush-ordered you a gift, 109 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:27,980 and that's ready for pick-up, so I'm gonna go... 110 00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:29,378 -Oh. [ Chuckles ] -...get that. 111 00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:30,710 You don't have to go out on Christmas Eve. 112 00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:32,254 No, no, no, I wanted to, 113 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:34,850 but, uh, Graham's in there sleeping, so, um... 114 00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:35,922 Now you're here. 115 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:37,179 And if you don't mind 116 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,087 just hanging out for 10 minutes, 117 00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:39,988 I'll be right back. 118 00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:40,920 Feel free to duct tape up the wreath. 119 00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:42,094 If you have time. 120 00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:44,862 ** 121 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:45,862 [ Door closes ] 122 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,193 Okay, cool. 123 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,557 Poppy? 124 00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:53,698 Well, I hope you're home. You got a lot of candles going. 125 00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:58,366 What do you want, Douglas? 126 00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:00,706 Look, I-I know exactly what you're going through. 127 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,581 My first Christmas alone, 128 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:05,280 all I had to do was hear two notes from Perry Como, 129 00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:07,053 and it was enough to make me cry. 130 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,580 I never did, but the potential was there. 131 00:04:09,617 --> 00:04:12,117 This holiday was not designed with single parents in mind, 132 00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:14,052 and that's why I'm gonna take a nap 133 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,687 until it's time to go to bed. 134 00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:17,733 Okay, listen, can I just throw something out real quick? 135 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:20,658 The girls and I, we have a holiday tradition, 136 00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:23,534 and we would be honored if you would join us. 137 00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:25,704 Douglas, I'm not in the right emotional head space 138 00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:26,733 for a holiday tradition. 139 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:27,837 I promise you, Poppy. 140 00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,738 I know exactly what you need right now. 141 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:32,310 A Fogerty Christmas Eve at the club 142 00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:34,270 will chase away your blues. 143 00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:37,208 [ All yelling, cheering ] 144 00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:39,154 ** 145 00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:41,109 Welcome to the North Pole Bowl -- 146 00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:43,078 a festive gathering of loving families 147 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,916 kicking the dirt out of each other. 148 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:48,122 So, you people turned Jesus' birthday 149 00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:50,015 into the Olympics? 150 00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:52,057 Yeah. Isn't it great? 151 00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:53,632 Okay, I'm gonna need both of these. 152 00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:55,261 And, hey, stay close. 153 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,465 Talk about a white Christmas. 154 00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:01,269 Will: [ Humming ] [ Rapid knocking on door ] 155 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,101 Angie! 156 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,606 Uh, everything all right? 157 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,568 You're looking especially jacked. 158 00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:08,337 Owen just showed up unannounced 159 00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:09,476 with a gift for me! 160 00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:10,980 So now I have to wrap up some of your stuff 161 00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,151 so I don't look like a total jerk who doesn't care! 162 00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:14,580 How much for this jacket? 163 00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:16,445 Well, first of all, that's my team jacket 164 00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:17,654 from when I coached Sophie in soccer, 165 00:05:17,685 --> 00:05:19,145 so $1 million. 166 00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:20,516 And, second, can this wait? 167 00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,224 It's Christmas Eve. 168 00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:24,625 I got a ton of stuff to wrap for Sophie -- No, it can't wait. 169 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,888 Every store out there is a total mob scene. 170 00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:29,227 You, Will Cooper, 171 00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,902 are my only chance at a Christmas miracle. 172 00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:33,472 So, you're asking me for a miracle? 173 00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:35,171 Yes! I am! 174 00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:38,072 I need to Tasmanian Devil through your personal belongings 175 00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:40,465 until I find the right shirt, gadget, or tchotchke 176 00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:43,678 that will save my relationship. 177 00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:45,181 Only thing that's off limits is printer ink. 178 00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:46,652 It's very expensive. 179 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:47,950 That's fine. [ Whispers ] Let's ransack my house. 180 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,354 ** 181 00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:53,486 You're the only person I know 182 00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:54,961 who does their wrapping in the kitchen. 183 00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,688 I like working with a chilled ribbon. 184 00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:58,194 You know, I don't have time to unpack that, 185 00:05:58,225 --> 00:05:59,485 but just keep looking. 186 00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:01,727 Well, you're welcome to anything except this pile. 187 00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:03,132 Those are my gifts to Sophie. 188 00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:04,573 Wait. 189 00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,828 Crocs? 190 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,167 Hand sanitizer, a -- 191 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,202 A Hollywood hat? 192 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:11,637 [ Chuckles ] Yeah. 193 00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:13,542 God, Sophie's right, you do stink at this. 194 00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,184 [ Chuckles ] 195 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,878 How are you someone who phones it in at Christmas? 196 00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:17,780 You never phone it in. 197 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,381 I phone stuff in all the time. 198 00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:21,783 Sometimes I'll even lazily abbreviate words, 199 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,015 like it's no big D. 200 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,390 Will, look me in the eye... 201 00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:26,889 Yeah. 202 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,420 In my eyes. I am. 203 00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:29,986 And tell me 204 00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:33,563 that off-brand beef jerky 205 00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:34,664 is the best you can do... [ Laughs ] 206 00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:37,495 ...for your precious daughter, Sophie, 207 00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:39,631 on her one Christmas morning, comes but once -- 208 00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:40,767 Of course it's not, okay?! 209 00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:42,671 I am an excellent gift giver! 210 00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:43,743 Finding someone the perfect gift 211 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,541 is the best and only way to say 212 00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:46,713 "I get you, man. 213 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:47,540 You are cherished." 214 00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:48,705 So -- 215 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,012 I lied! All right? 216 00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:52,613 The Magic Box is not from Mia. 217 00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:53,706 It's from me! 218 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,417 [ Breathing heavily ] 219 00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:57,519 Douglas: The trick to surviving holidays 220 00:06:57,551 --> 00:07:00,051 is just distract yourself from your own emotions. 221 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,587 Some people like to mope in front of a fire. 222 00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:05,533 I prefer to step on throats at the North Pole Bowl. 223 00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:06,729 Woman: [ Grunts ] 224 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:10,060 I was expecting more of a Bing Crosby vibe... 225 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:11,427 Referee: Break it up. Maybe a decent martini? 226 00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:13,595 Hey, you know what? Ease up on the martinis, okay? 227 00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:14,704 Because the twins and I, 228 00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:15,935 we need you to be sharp 229 00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:18,239 so I have a chance of winning the grand prize -- 230 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:21,111 access to the club's 19th hole. 231 00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:22,281 Please, Poppy. 232 00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:23,979 I've only seen it in paintings. 233 00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:26,711 So, you only invited me here because you needed a fourth? 234 00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:28,117 Technically, yes, 235 00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,218 but you want to know what's better 236 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,119 than being miserable at home? 237 00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,350 Helping me meet Dan Marino, 238 00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:33,785 one of the select few 239 00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:36,261 granted access to the 19th hole. 240 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,759 I have no idea who that is. I know. 241 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,691 And it doesn't matter. 242 00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:41,127 But do you know what I think does matter? 243 00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:42,461 That you're around people right now. 244 00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:43,796 That's good, 245 00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:45,801 because where you were headed earlier, that was bad. 246 00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:46,773 It was not a good place. 247 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,140 Okay, step right up, 248 00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:49,598 because you're next! 249 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,313 Douglas, you signed me up for an adult sack race, 250 00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:54,069 and you didn't ask me first? 251 00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:56,737 -Move it, Poppy! -Don't blow this for us! 252 00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:57,847 [ Whistle blows ] Hop! 253 00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,378 My God, woman, hop! You tricked me. 254 00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:01,722 I'm not gonna forget this. That's good. 255 00:08:01,749 --> 00:08:02,779 Use that anger 256 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,246 to crush the other families. 257 00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,715 Oh, did you just hip check me?! 258 00:08:06,754 --> 00:08:09,424 You wanna spend Christmas in the hospital, huh?! 259 00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:11,216 Wait, so I don't get it. 260 00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,458 Why does Mia get all the credit 261 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:13,492 for the Magic Box 262 00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:14,797 when she has nothing to do with it? 263 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,498 Mia tries, okay? 264 00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:19,370 It's just Sophie is growing so fast, 265 00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:21,639 and by the time the stuff gets here from the Sudan, 266 00:08:21,669 --> 00:08:22,939 she's moved on to something else. 267 00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:24,200 I guess I get that. 268 00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:25,907 Graham will be heavy into Batman Legos, 269 00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:27,369 and then wham! 270 00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:28,807 The next minute it's all about Star Wars Legos, 271 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,742 and I'm sitting there with a Lego Robin in my hand 272 00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:31,708 like a freakin' idiot. 273 00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:32,805 It's the worst. 274 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,146 So I came up with a simple system 275 00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:35,821 that'll save Christmas for them. 276 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:36,949 It doesn't sound simple. 277 00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:38,624 It sounds like "Westworld"-level confusing. 278 00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:39,822 It's not, okay? 279 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,623 Mia doesn't know this, but I re-wrap her gifts. 280 00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:43,455 I slap a tag on it that says, "From Dad." 281 00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:45,460 Then I take my awesome gifts, I put them in the Magic Box. 282 00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:46,732 And boom, perfect Christmas. 283 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,300 Maybe you deserve a perfect Christmas. 284 00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:52,129 Thank you, that's very nice. 285 00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,495 But this is how we do Christmas in my family. 286 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,204 Mia is the glitzy humanitarian, 287 00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,836 and I'm the guy on the ground. 288 00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,041 Making lunches. 289 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,342 Fighting with the dentist. 290 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,513 Why do you fight with the dentist? 291 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,481 Because he doesn't get it. Okay. 292 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,210 Sexy niche you've carved out for yourself. 293 00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:07,245 She's the amazing gift giver, 294 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,880 and you're the guy who fights with the dentist. 295 00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:11,847 [ Slams counter ] He fights with me! 296 00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:14,493 Whatever, man. 297 00:09:14,521 --> 00:09:16,021 You have a really weird Christmas routine, 298 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,826 and I think deep down, you know that. 299 00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,828 Do you know what's weird? 300 00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:21,930 Not getting your boyfriend a Christmas present. 301 00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,832 I -- I told you, he's not my boyfriend. 302 00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:25,134 Exactly! And that's weird! 303 00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:26,225 What's it been? Like, a year? 304 00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,196 What's wrong with him? 305 00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,674 Does he have a weird birthmark? 306 00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:30,542 Does he say "catsup" instead of "ketchup"? 307 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,340 Does his apartment have, like, a weird smell? 308 00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:33,672 Like, not like a bad smell or a good smell, 309 00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:34,977 but just a very distinct smell, 310 00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:35,708 like, "What is that smell?" 311 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:37,313 What's wrong? Does -- 312 00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:38,354 Is he a bad dancer or a good dancer? No! 313 00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:40,378 It's not about Owen. 314 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,253 [ Sighs ] 315 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,381 It's about Graham and Owen. 316 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:46,246 There's a reason I haven't introduced them. 317 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:49,156 I'm raising a -- a 7-year-old, 318 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,789 and it's really hard. 319 00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:54,164 And Owen is a 30-year-old guy 320 00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:56,864 without a care in the world, and... 321 00:09:56,897 --> 00:10:00,297 I just can't picture him being ready for that. 322 00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:04,973 Or maybe you're not ready for that. 323 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,473 Yeah, maybe I'm not. 324 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,279 Then what the heck are you doing here, Angie, 325 00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,951 turning my house upside-down? 326 00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,581 You got to go to him. 327 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,015 You have to figure this out. 328 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,520 I think you're right. 329 00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,691 I have to go break up with him. 330 00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:21,961 Uh, no. 331 00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:23,389 Not what I was saying at all. 332 00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:25,233 [ Cheering ] 333 00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:27,698 You can do it, honey! Come on! 334 00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:28,628 Yes! Yes! 335 00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:30,632 [ Laughs ] Yes! 336 00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:32,474 Come at me! Come at me! 337 00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:34,469 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah. Way to go, Emma or Amy. 338 00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:36,741 * La-la, la, la 339 00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,610 * 'Tis the season to be jolly * You got this. 340 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,608 Oh, I know I do, Amy. 341 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,480 * Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la * Be the tree. 342 00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:46,081 * Don we now our gay apparel * Ah! 343 00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:50,083 And that's how you win Christmas, dirtbags! 344 00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:51,717 * Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la * 345 00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:53,152 * Fa-la-la-la-la 346 00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:54,756 * Fa-la-la-la-la 347 00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:56,558 * Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la * 348 00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:58,429 -Yes! -Boom! 349 00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:00,828 And that's how you carefully carry an ornament! 350 00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,601 I knew you were our missing piece! 351 00:11:02,629 --> 00:11:04,329 Nobody's gonna be able to catch us. 352 00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:07,204 Poppy? You missed a call from Rory. 353 00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:09,774 He said he's going to a luau with no service. 354 00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:11,403 He'll call you tomorrow. 355 00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:12,268 [ Sighs ] 356 00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:13,935 I missed a call from my baby. 357 00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:16,184 But you were having a great time with us, right? 358 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,439 But I shouldn't be. Not without him. 359 00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:19,477 No, no, come on. Don't -- Don't leave. 360 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,252 You're the only one with enough speed 361 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:22,881 to catch the Christmas goose! 362 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,417 Graham: Mom? 363 00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:29,192 This guy in shorts says he's the real Santa. 364 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:32,532 Merry Christmas, Ms. D'Amato! 365 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:34,259 ** 366 00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:35,134 And now you've met my son. 367 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,370 Angie: Isn't it amazing that we're standing here 368 00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:43,541 with the real Santa Claus? 369 00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:45,210 I don't know, Mom. 370 00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:47,778 This guy isn't doing a lot to convince me. 371 00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:50,138 The details of his friendship with the Easter Bunny 372 00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:52,207 keep changing. Owen: [ Chuckles ] 373 00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:53,645 Your son's had a lot of questions. 374 00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:56,477 Are you watching me with cameras 375 00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:58,886 or is it more of a psychic thing? Uh... 376 00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:01,589 What did Abraham Lincoln get for Christmas? 377 00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:04,121 Doesn't there have to be some gray area 378 00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:05,587 between naughty and nice? 379 00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,385 Oh, boy. Um... 380 00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:08,897 Of all the actors who played you, 381 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:11,059 who do you think nailed it? 382 00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:12,698 Tim Allen? 383 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,702 Does being alive as long as you have 384 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,874 ever feel like a curse? 385 00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:18,814 This little boy is not a fan of yes or no answers. 386 00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:19,939 He wants details. 387 00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:22,243 I like to be painted a picture. 388 00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:23,805 Angie: You know what? 389 00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:25,854 I think Santa should probably be getting back to work. 390 00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:27,249 Every minute he spends with us 391 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,080 is another child's Christmas ruined. 392 00:12:30,117 --> 00:12:31,047 That's right. [ Chuckles ] [ Doorbell rings ] 393 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,754 My favorite Christmas tradition, 394 00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:34,016 answering the door! 395 00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:37,589 Miggy? What are you doing here? 396 00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:38,734 Without getting into it, 397 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,288 me and Dwayne are in a fight. 398 00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:41,857 Happens every time we watch "Elf." 399 00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:44,055 So I was just chilling at home with Jack 400 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,767 when Graham called me about Santa. 401 00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,244 Is this the guy, Graham? 402 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,399 Looks like the real deal to me. 403 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:53,738 I'm not fully convinced yet. 404 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,083 Hmm. 405 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,439 If you're the real Santa Claus, 406 00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:59,777 do you remember the year you brought me that N64? 407 00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:01,613 Yes? 408 00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,418 [ Gasps ] 409 00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,550 Did you hear that, Graham? It all checks out. 410 00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:06,945 Yep. Yep. 411 00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:08,957 It all checks out. 412 00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:11,059 So, Santa should probably be getting back to work, 413 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,531 'cause who knows how much longer 414 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:13,559 our roof will support the weight of his sleigh. 415 00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:15,933 -Yeah. -Just one more question. 416 00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:18,403 A girl at my school says 417 00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:21,101 you'd have to visit 800 houses every second 418 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,274 if you were real. 419 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,642 How do you do that?! 420 00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:26,110 I-I know the answer's magic, 421 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,309 but I want to go past that. 422 00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:31,238 Well, uh... [ Chuckles ] 423 00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:34,148 Your friend is, um... 424 00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:36,121 Your friend is -- 425 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,519 is too worried about the math. 426 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:40,120 You see, I'm able to bring holiday cheer 427 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,923 to so many people in one night 428 00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:43,615 because I have a lot of help. 429 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:44,756 Yeah, yeah. 430 00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:46,431 I-I got parents, and friends, 431 00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:48,029 and mall Santas, 432 00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:50,261 and I inspire every one of them to do their part. 433 00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:53,297 And so, together, we're all Santa. 434 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,943 And having so much help frees me up 435 00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:57,769 to make special one-on-one visits 436 00:13:57,804 --> 00:13:59,644 to good little boys and girls 437 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,772 that might need a little extra Christmas magic. 438 00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:04,278 ** 439 00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:05,611 Wow. 440 00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:07,105 Damn, dude. 441 00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:08,347 This is Santa! 442 00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,722 I never doubted you for a second! 443 00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:12,891 It's been a pleasure, sir. 444 00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:16,521 Yo, Santa. Come on. I'll walk you out. 445 00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,086 Oh, Miggy? [ Clears throat ] 446 00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:19,185 Don't you think you should be 447 00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:21,326 getting baby Jack back to bed? 448 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,201 Right. Smart. 449 00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:26,200 He won't be coming to the crib unless we're asleep. 450 00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:27,403 Good night. 451 00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:28,704 [ Exhales sharply ] 452 00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:29,465 [ Door closes ] 453 00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:31,642 ** 454 00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:33,771 Angie? Will Cooper. 455 00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:36,876 I've been, uh, thinking about this Magic Box situation, 456 00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:39,810 and, um...you were right. 457 00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:43,546 This year, Sophie is getting the good presents from Dad. 458 00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:44,653 All right. 459 00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:45,894 Sorry for so many messages. 460 00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:47,019 Your phone kept cutting me off. 461 00:14:47,054 --> 00:14:48,524 Bye. 462 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:51,120 Dad, can I -- 463 00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:53,462 What's that? 464 00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:57,303 A glow-in-the-dark ant farm? 465 00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,000 That's so cool! 466 00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:00,232 It must be from Mom! 467 00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,197 ** 468 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,835 Yeah. 469 00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:06,871 She nailed it again. 470 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,376 But unfortunately, 471 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,909 because of the 2018 Christmas Code of Conduct, 472 00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:13,075 since you're out of bed, 473 00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:14,513 I have to give this to Toys for Tots -- 474 00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:15,447 I was never here! 475 00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:17,022 Okay. 476 00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:18,590 ** 477 00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,348 I guess we can add "meeting sexy Santa" 478 00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:21,487 to the list of things 479 00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,191 that he'll eventually tell his therapist. 480 00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:24,793 [ Chuckles ] 481 00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:26,364 Should we open these gifts? 482 00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:29,863 Um... 483 00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:32,826 Wait, I have to tell you something. 484 00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:34,925 I was ready to end this tonight. 485 00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:39,768 'Cause I didn't know if I could see you with my son. 486 00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:42,106 And then I watched you 487 00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:44,212 convince him that Santa really exists, 488 00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:47,214 and...you're wonderful. 489 00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:48,377 [ Sighs ] 490 00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:50,015 I didn't get you a gift. 491 00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:52,250 I wish I had, 492 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,415 because I'm sure whatever this is 493 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:55,894 is really thoughtful -- 494 00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:57,062 I got you a candle. 495 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,262 Vanilla? 496 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,003 Is this the same kind 497 00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:04,259 we have in the bathroom at work? Yep. 498 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,727 Realized that after the fact. 499 00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:07,095 Real bummer. 500 00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:07,934 [ Laughs ] [ Sighs ] 501 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,367 Look, I got all in my head 502 00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:11,042 about where we were as a couple. 503 00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:12,171 Mm-hmm. Are we jewelry? 504 00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:13,905 Are we "Owen Bucks"? 505 00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,410 I needed to get something that showed how much I like you 506 00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:17,112 while also not spooking you. 507 00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:18,654 And that gift does not exist. 508 00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:19,778 So, therefore, candle. 509 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,112 Candle. Yeah. 510 00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:23,975 Owen... 511 00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:25,647 I'm rusty at this. 512 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,359 Will you be my boyfriend? 513 00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:29,718 [ Chuckles ] Yeah. 514 00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:31,416 Okay. [ Laughs ] 515 00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:35,228 ** 516 00:16:35,262 --> 00:16:35,962 Can you put the beard back on? 517 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:36,955 Oh, definitely. 518 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,096 Okay. Yeah. 519 00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:39,301 [ Chuckles ] It's Christmas. 520 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,172 [ Doorbell rings ] 521 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,170 -Hey. -Hey. 522 00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:44,502 -Merry Christmas. -We cut this down ourselves. 523 00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:45,867 Yeah, your neighbor can send me a bill. 524 00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:47,865 -Keys. -Yep. 525 00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:50,107 -Where are they going? -To get the stand. 526 00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:52,183 They've done this before. [ Sighs ] 527 00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:54,482 Look, Douglas, I appreciate the gesture, 528 00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:57,054 but you guys don't want to be here. 529 00:16:57,084 --> 00:17:00,554 I put a pair of Rory's PJs on the couch cushion... 530 00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:02,287 and, well, we've been spooning. 531 00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:05,462 Okay, well, I do want to be here. 532 00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:08,262 I'm not gonna try to talk you out of being sad. 533 00:17:08,295 --> 00:17:10,325 I just wanted to, uh, sit with you. 534 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:13,103 All right. Well, sit wherever you want. 535 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:14,803 Just not on my son, the couch cushion. 536 00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,674 Ahh. [ Chuckles ] 537 00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,473 Sorry I cost you guys the 19th hole. 538 00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:20,165 What, are you kidding? We still won. 539 00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:21,467 By a lot. Oh. 540 00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:24,138 You know, Christmas wasn't always such a marathon 541 00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:25,847 like it is today. 542 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,478 It's exhausting. 543 00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:29,054 I'm mad at every single one of those damn songs. 544 00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:31,322 Except Mariah. I love her. 545 00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:34,021 For Rose and I, it was Perry Como. Mm. 546 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,893 Can you believe I met a 27-year-old 547 00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:38,662 who loved Perry Como? 548 00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:40,061 And after she died, 549 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,663 I just could never listen to him again. 550 00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:46,525 Luckily, avoiding Perry Como is extremely easy 551 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,426 most of the year, so... 552 00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,837 Hmm. 553 00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:51,939 Holidays are hard. 554 00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:53,611 Ugh. I know. 555 00:17:58,145 --> 00:18:00,275 So, this is what it's like when you're... 556 00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:02,623 not distracting yourself from your feelings. 557 00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:04,179 Mm-hmm. 558 00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:06,447 Welcome to the dark side. 559 00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:08,856 Thanks for being here with me. 560 00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:11,358 It's kind of nice. 561 00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:12,331 Yeah. 562 00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:15,030 [ Door opens ] What are you guys doing? 563 00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:16,931 Oh, no. I was just, uh -- 564 00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:18,673 Hmm... Already bored. 565 00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:22,768 [ Hammering ] 566 00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,402 ** 567 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,767 He lifts, bro. 568 00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:28,736 Angie, Graham, Emma and Amy don't believe me. 569 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:31,175 Can you please tell them that Santa is toned as hell? 570 00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:33,281 He's in excellent shape for his age, 571 00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:35,053 and he's a great listener. 572 00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:36,951 He was just there with us. 573 00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:38,293 So present. 574 00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:39,988 My only complaint was that he didn't hit us 575 00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:42,519 with a classic "Ho, ho, ho." 576 00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:44,785 But meeting him was what I wanted this year. 577 00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:45,894 And he knew that. 578 00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:46,785 Okay, at what point should we be worried 579 00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:48,196 that he's -- Never. 580 00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:50,458 We must never ask this question. Okay. 581 00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:52,097 Hey, I just wanted to say 582 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,771 I'm sorry if I got in your head about Owen last night. 583 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:55,741 How'd he take it? 584 00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:58,208 Things are pretty good. 585 00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:00,108 He's my boyfriend now. 586 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,039 Wow! [ Laughs ] Yeah. 587 00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:03,514 Oh! 588 00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:04,713 That's -- That's great. 589 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,154 Good for you. 590 00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:07,409 But, you know, you should apologize 591 00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,017 about the five voicemails you left me. 592 00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:11,548 [ Laughs ] And you kept on introducing yourself. 593 00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,124 I know it's you. You might know other Wills. 594 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,522 -I don't. -Angie, look. 595 00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:15,624 It's from my mom. 596 00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,015 And it glows in the dark! 597 00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:21,455 Oh, wow! That's really cool, Soph. 598 00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,566 I knew you weren't gonna take credit 599 00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:27,298 for any of that good stuff. 600 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:29,474 Yeah, but look how happy she is. 601 00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:32,611 That's my perfect Christmas. 602 00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:35,279 Mm. I get it. 603 00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:38,078 There is one gift I will take credit for. 604 00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:41,649 Angie, Merry Christmas from me. 605 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:42,951 Oh! 606 00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:52,232 ** 607 00:19:52,259 --> 00:19:53,759 [ Chuckles ] 608 00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:59,233 This is, like, every story Graham's ever written me. 609 00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:04,201 "'The Complete Short Stories' by Graham D'Amato, 610 00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:06,267 edited by William Cooper." 611 00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:07,636 [ Chuckles ] 612 00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,814 You weren't shy about taking credit on this one. 613 00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:11,312 Yeah, I had to get in there. 614 00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:12,684 Your kid loves a tangent. 615 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,323 You get me, man. 616 00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:16,818 [ Chuckles ] 617 00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,019 I feel cherished. 618 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,150 That was the goal. 619 00:20:20,186 --> 00:20:21,546 Douglas: Hello? 620 00:20:21,588 --> 00:20:23,888 Everyone shut up. It's Dan Marino's assistant! 621 00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:26,263 Yes, Megan, and to you. 622 00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:28,630 I see. 623 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:29,961 No problem. 624 00:20:29,996 --> 00:20:32,096 Marino's blowing me off! 625 00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:39,143 ** 626 00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:40,671 What are we looking at here? 627 00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:42,407 I drew a picture of you guys! 628 00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:44,912 -Uh-huh. -So, where's our present? 629 00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:45,884 [ Cellphone rings ] You guys, it's Rory! 630 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:47,082 It's Rory! Get together! 631 00:20:47,113 --> 00:20:48,213 -Ooh! -Ooh! 632 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,877 -Mele Kalikimaka, Rory! -Hey, Rory! 633 00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,616 I miss you guys, 634 00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:53,851 and I really, really miss you, Mom. 635 00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:55,386 Oh, baby. I love you. 636 00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:57,892 I didn't know I could miss you so much. 637 00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:00,864 Mom, I know we're having a moment, 638 00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:03,163 but could you please hand the phone over to Miggy? 639 00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:04,525 Your framing is trash. -You know what? 640 00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:05,534 Yeah, it's pretty trash. It's okay. I have to -- 641 00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:06,665 I got you. Oh. 642 00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:08,669 * You can't beat home sweet home * 643 00:21:08,701 --> 00:21:10,371 Do you want me to skip ahead? It's on shuffle. Oh, no, no. 644 00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:13,243 That's okay. I -- I love this song. 645 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,882 * Oh, there's no place like home * Hadn't heard it in a while. 646 00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:19,778 * For the holidays 647 00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:21,512 * For the holidays 648 00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:24,578 * You can't beat home sweet home *