1
00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:03,906
It's 8:30 in the morning.
2
00:00:03,945 --> 00:00:05,612
You've already found
a way to irritate me.
3
00:00:05,647 --> 00:00:06,613
Hey, hey, hey!
4
00:00:06,648 --> 00:00:07,947
Give Miggy a break, Douglas.
5
00:00:07,983 --> 00:00:10,216
He has to be on his phone,
that's where all the ladies are!
6
00:00:10,252 --> 00:00:11,484
Right. Right.
7
00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:13,086
This phone's blowing up with ladies.
8
00:00:13,121 --> 00:00:14,687
My DMs be poppin'.
9
00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:15,989
That means his direct messages
10
00:00:16,024 --> 00:00:17,423
are filling up with lady inquiries.
11
00:00:17,459 --> 00:00:18,892
Miggy's teaching me all the lingo.
12
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Mm.
13
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Pink flyer!
14
00:00:20,996 --> 00:00:23,530
Oh, God. I hope it's not lice again.
15
00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:26,199
No kidding. I can't keep shaving
Emma and Amy's heads.
16
00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:28,468
It's flu season.
One kid's already got it.
17
00:00:28,503 --> 00:00:30,770
I bet it's Topher.
That kid licks everything.
18
00:00:30,805 --> 00:00:32,705
Thank God Sophie
already got her flu shot.
19
00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,374
Yeah, flu shots are for the weak.
20
00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:36,976
Fogertys don't get sick.
It's family policy.
21
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I don't allow it.
22
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You know, I usually ignore the nonsense
23
00:00:39,614 --> 00:00:41,481
that comes out of your mouth,
but this I have to hear...
24
00:00:41,516 --> 00:00:43,449
so, you, Douglas Fogerty,
25
00:00:43,485 --> 00:00:45,585
never get sick
because you don't allow it?
26
00:00:45,620 --> 00:00:48,054
That's exactly right.
I'm the boss of my own body.
27
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When I was in my early 20s, I was short,
28
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and then I decided not to be.
29
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Graham hasn't gotten his shot yet.
30
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It's his biggest fear.
31
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Ho'd up! Ho'd up!
32
00:00:56,731 --> 00:00:58,431
- I taught him that.
- What?
33
00:00:58,466 --> 00:01:00,433
Did you know that they developed
a flu shot in mist form?
34
00:01:00,468 --> 00:01:02,368
He doesn't have to get the shot.
He can just breathe it in.
35
00:01:02,404 --> 00:01:04,804
Yeah, I know, but they only make
the mist in limited quantities
36
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and we haven't yet made it onto
our pediatrician's "Mist List,"
37
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so we're gonna have to suffer
through the shot again.
38
00:01:09,411 --> 00:01:11,978
But there's no way it could be
as bad as it was last year.
39
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Everything looks good!
40
00:01:13,148 --> 00:01:14,514
The doctor will be right in
for your shot.
41
00:01:16,017 --> 00:01:17,617
You're being so brave.
42
00:01:17,652 --> 00:01:19,586
I'm really proud of you.
43
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,123
Well, that's handled.
44
00:01:24,159 --> 00:01:25,124
I won't even tell you
45
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,160
about the time he bit the receptionist.
46
00:01:27,195 --> 00:01:28,761
But thank God for Dr. Dewan.
47
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She scares the hell out of me,
but she's a genius.
48
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Wait. You see Dr. Dewan?
49
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:34,267
- You're still seeing her?
- Mm-hmm.
50
00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:35,768
See, we had to find a new pediatrician.
51
00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:38,171
I just felt like such a bad
parent after every visit,
52
00:01:38,206 --> 00:01:40,740
- I'd wind up binging "Teen Mom."
- Right?
53
00:01:40,775 --> 00:01:42,842
I have to schedule five minutes
after every appointment
54
00:01:42,877 --> 00:01:44,577
so I can cry in my car.
55
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It's incredible.
56
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I have been trying to get Sophie
57
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an appointment with her for four months.
58
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Please let us tag along.
59
00:01:49,284 --> 00:01:51,918
Seeing Dr. Dewan give a flu shot
is on my actual bucket list.
60
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Fine. You can tag along,
61
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,588
but please never show me
your bucket list,
62
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because that sounds like a real bummer.
63
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I can't believe
I'm going to meet the Dr. Dewan,
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00:02:00,339 --> 00:02:02,249
the premier pediatrician
in Southern California.
65
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Just ask one of the six children's
health magazines I subscribe to...
66
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:06,866
The man needs sex.
67
00:02:08,870 --> 00:02:11,971
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
68
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All right, sweetie,
do you have everything you need
69
00:02:15,545 --> 00:02:16,763
to help you get through the shot?
70
00:02:16,789 --> 00:02:19,378
What? Is someone talking to me?
71
00:02:19,449 --> 00:02:21,348
Look at this office.
72
00:02:21,377 --> 00:02:23,394
It's exactly how I imagined it.
73
00:02:23,449 --> 00:02:25,716
Hey, Little G, how you holding up?
74
00:02:25,751 --> 00:02:27,651
Oh, Mom... Flu shot...
75
00:02:27,686 --> 00:02:29,052
Okay, listen, Will.
76
00:02:29,088 --> 00:02:32,022
We are this close to getting
on the Mist List, okay?
77
00:02:32,057 --> 00:02:33,090
Do not make eye contact,
78
00:02:33,125 --> 00:02:34,858
only speak when spoken to, and remember,
79
00:02:34,894 --> 00:02:36,560
- we work for her.
- Got it.
80
00:02:36,595 --> 00:02:37,961
Did you put on a dress for this?
81
00:02:37,997 --> 00:02:40,030
- Did you get a blowout?
- You have no idea
82
00:02:40,065 --> 00:02:41,131
how high the stakes are...
83
00:02:42,234 --> 00:02:43,741
DR. - Nice to see you, Graham.
84
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,366
He has a walnut allergy.
85
00:02:45,405 --> 00:02:46,957
I can tell by the way he sits.
86
00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:49,292
And you haven't been
protecting him from the sun.
87
00:02:49,328 --> 00:02:51,328
Anything less than 100 SPF,
and you might as well
88
00:02:51,363 --> 00:02:53,496
dip him in butter and strap him
to the roof of a car.
89
00:02:53,532 --> 00:02:55,591
Graham, have you been eating
your vegetables?
90
00:02:55,638 --> 00:02:57,400
- It depends on the...
- I want to hear from the boy.
91
00:02:57,436 --> 00:03:00,837
Um, for breakfast, I had some chips.
92
00:03:03,842 --> 00:03:06,009
I try to get him vegetables, but...
93
00:03:06,044 --> 00:03:07,477
It... I-I'm busy.
94
00:03:07,512 --> 00:03:08,612
I-I'm a single mom,
95
00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,080
I work overtime. It's tough.
96
00:03:10,115 --> 00:03:12,182
You know what's tough?
Juvenile diabetes.
97
00:03:12,217 --> 00:03:15,051
You have to force him to eat
five to seven servings a day.
98
00:03:16,054 --> 00:03:18,455
Uh, not to be "that guy,"
99
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,490
but I actually just read
a new report that came out.
100
00:03:20,525 --> 00:03:22,392
- It was in Pediatric American.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
101
00:03:22,427 --> 00:03:24,160
And it said that parental
102
00:03:24,196 --> 00:03:25,862
coercion at the dinner table
doesn't actually lead
103
00:03:25,897 --> 00:03:28,031
to long-term changes
in kids' eating habits.
104
00:03:28,066 --> 00:03:29,599
Oh, I'm so sorry.
105
00:03:29,635 --> 00:03:30,667
I didn't realize we had
106
00:03:30,702 --> 00:03:32,769
another medical professional
in the room.
107
00:03:32,804 --> 00:03:34,237
Doesn't take a medical professional
108
00:03:34,273 --> 00:03:36,039
- to read Pediatric American.
- Thanks for the tip.
109
00:03:36,074 --> 00:03:38,174
I've been published in
Pediatric American 10 times.
110
00:03:38,210 --> 00:03:40,277
- 11 times.
- What?
111
00:03:40,312 --> 00:03:41,645
I've read everything
you've ever written.
112
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,480
Frankly, that's why
I expected more from you...
113
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,282
Hey! Changing the subject!
114
00:03:45,317 --> 00:03:46,750
I guess that this isn't the best time
115
00:03:46,785 --> 00:03:49,619
to ask if we have any shot
at the Mist List this year?
116
00:03:49,655 --> 00:03:51,021
After today, what do you think?
117
00:03:51,056 --> 00:03:52,656
You ready for your shot, Graham?
118
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:57,727
I blinked and he was just gone.
119
00:03:57,763 --> 00:04:00,030
Okay, I need feedback on this smock.
120
00:04:00,065 --> 00:04:02,098
Of course it goes with the tights,
121
00:04:02,134 --> 00:04:03,900
but then I thought,
122
00:04:03,935 --> 00:04:05,602
why not just...
123
00:04:05,637 --> 00:04:07,804
- A pair of cowboy boots!
- A pair of cowboy boots!
124
00:04:07,839 --> 00:04:09,539
Yes, Montana realness.
125
00:04:13,745 --> 00:04:15,344
- Hi.
- Hey, girls.
126
00:04:15,383 --> 00:04:16,912
- No running.
- We're light jogging.
127
00:04:16,937 --> 00:04:18,313
Okay, listen.
128
00:04:18,350 --> 00:04:19,983
I don't have much time to explain.
129
00:04:20,018 --> 00:04:22,152
- I'm sick.
- Sick?!
130
00:04:22,187 --> 00:04:24,688
Oh, I thought you didn't "allow" germs?
131
00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:26,556
The illness has breached the system.
132
00:04:26,591 --> 00:04:28,692
Okay, now, listen to me.
I need you to watch the girls,
133
00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:30,427
because if they see me weak,
134
00:04:30,462 --> 00:04:33,730
then the delicate
parent-to-child power balance
135
00:04:33,765 --> 00:04:36,333
will be disrupted,
and that can't happen.
136
00:04:36,368 --> 00:04:38,401
They've already started collecting
nursing home brochures.
137
00:04:38,437 --> 00:04:40,236
I'm gonna go to the woods now.
138
00:04:40,272 --> 00:04:41,237
Wait. The woods?
139
00:04:41,273 --> 00:04:42,906
- The metaphorical woods.
- Okay.
140
00:04:42,941 --> 00:04:44,374
I need total isolation.
141
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,409
Douglas, just get over yourself
and let me take care of you.
142
00:04:46,445 --> 00:04:49,346
The girls, they...
they can't see me like this.
143
00:04:49,381 --> 00:04:50,580
I think they'd surprise you.
144
00:04:50,615 --> 00:04:51,948
They aren't psychopaths.
145
00:04:58,457 --> 00:04:59,556
What were you doing in there?
146
00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:01,658
You owe me 30 bucks for this blowout.
147
00:05:01,693 --> 00:05:02,992
I'm sorry, okay?
148
00:05:03,028 --> 00:05:04,894
Talking about
pediatric dietary guidelines
149
00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:06,496
brings out the wild man in me.
150
00:05:06,531 --> 00:05:08,031
I can't see through this mask.
151
00:05:08,066 --> 00:05:09,733
Are we still in the office?
152
00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:11,034
Did I get the shot?
153
00:05:11,069 --> 00:05:13,002
No, sweetheart,
we're gonna have to come back.
154
00:05:13,038 --> 00:05:15,171
I will not let you ruin my chance
155
00:05:15,207 --> 00:05:16,606
of getting on the Mist List this year.
156
00:05:16,641 --> 00:05:17,774
I can't do this again.
157
00:05:17,809 --> 00:05:19,876
I've been feeding Graham
turkey for three days
158
00:05:19,911 --> 00:05:21,277
to keep him drowsy.
159
00:05:21,313 --> 00:05:23,513
I am this close to giving him wine.
160
00:05:23,548 --> 00:05:25,749
Now go back in there and apologize.
161
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:26,916
- She is...
- Now.
162
00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:27,817
- I...
- Right now.
163
00:05:27,842 --> 00:05:28,651
- If you...
- Now.
164
00:05:28,687 --> 00:05:29,786
- But she...
- Now!
165
00:05:29,821 --> 00:05:31,154
- But... If...
- Now. Now.
166
00:05:31,189 --> 00:05:32,722
I will apologize for my behavior.
167
00:05:32,758 --> 00:05:35,492
- Great.
- But I will not apologize for my beliefs.
168
00:05:36,995 --> 00:05:39,062
3, 2, 1...
169
00:05:39,097 --> 00:05:40,764
Start the magic.
170
00:05:42,100 --> 00:05:44,200
You girls just saved me $200.
171
00:05:45,103 --> 00:05:46,102
Hello?
172
00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:47,337
Wait, what?
173
00:05:47,372 --> 00:05:48,772
He's where?
174
00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,206
I put in his prescription
175
00:05:50,242 --> 00:05:52,242
and that's when the fever took control.
176
00:05:52,277 --> 00:05:53,710
Next thing you know,
I'm watching a grown man
177
00:05:53,745 --> 00:05:55,378
try to eat a coloring book.
178
00:05:56,448 --> 00:05:57,814
Hi, guys!
179
00:05:57,849 --> 00:06:01,751
Do you think these sunglasses
make my face look too small?
180
00:06:01,787 --> 00:06:04,821
I mean, the look is punk,
but it's also now.
181
00:06:04,856 --> 00:06:05,955
They're a "buy" for me.
182
00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:08,324
Oh, my God. He's burning up.
183
00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:09,793
The girls can't see me like this...
184
00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:12,262
- Okay.
- Da-Daddy's waiting for medicine.
185
00:06:12,297 --> 00:06:14,164
It's a cold. Get a hold of yourself!
186
00:06:14,199 --> 00:06:15,765
Terry, you're our father now.
187
00:06:15,801 --> 00:06:17,434
I'm already feeding five birds.
188
00:06:17,469 --> 00:06:19,536
I need to be among the trees.
189
00:06:19,571 --> 00:06:21,304
All right, let's get you up.
190
00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:22,839
Okay.
191
00:06:22,874 --> 00:06:24,808
We're gonna need a dolly.
192
00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:30,113
Well, well.
193
00:06:30,148 --> 00:06:32,081
- Captain Vegetables.
- I, uh...
194
00:06:32,117 --> 00:06:35,852
I just wanted to apologize
for my behavior earlier.
195
00:06:36,988 --> 00:06:38,288
But not my beliefs.
196
00:06:38,323 --> 00:06:40,056
You know, you were right
about parental coercion.
197
00:06:40,091 --> 00:06:42,258
It is in the latest Pediatric American.
198
00:06:42,294 --> 00:06:43,426
Told ya.
199
00:06:43,462 --> 00:06:45,562
I was right, you were wrong.
200
00:06:45,597 --> 00:06:47,430
Just please don't take that
out on Graham, okay?
201
00:06:47,466 --> 00:06:48,765
He really needs the Mist List...
202
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,204
Have you really read all of my articles?
203
00:06:50,235 --> 00:06:51,167
Yes, I have.
204
00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:52,569
Even the ones you write
under your pen name,
205
00:06:52,604 --> 00:06:53,703
Dr. Vicky Bradshaw.
206
00:06:53,738 --> 00:06:54,871
I don't have a pen name.
207
00:06:54,906 --> 00:06:56,406
Come on.
208
00:06:56,441 --> 00:06:57,807
Oh, you're good.
209
00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:01,611
Who are you?
210
00:07:01,646 --> 00:07:03,213
Where did you come from?
211
00:07:04,616 --> 00:07:07,784
Uh, I was born at a very young age.
212
00:07:07,819 --> 00:07:09,118
No, my name's Will Cooper.
213
00:07:09,154 --> 00:07:11,097
I'm from Denver originally,
Mile High City.
214
00:07:11,122 --> 00:07:12,055
Why "mile high"?
215
00:07:12,090 --> 00:07:13,857
Well, it has something to do
with the sea level and the...
216
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:16,860
Oh, you just think you're so smart.
217
00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:18,595
You just know it all.
218
00:07:19,698 --> 00:07:21,331
I would never claim to know it all,
219
00:07:21,366 --> 00:07:23,309
but I-I definitely think of learning
220
00:07:23,363 --> 00:07:25,184
as sort of a life's journey thing...
221
00:07:25,238 --> 00:07:26,870
Um, you can never know everything.
222
00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:28,304
You're... You're always
constantly learning.
223
00:07:28,340 --> 00:07:31,207
Like, right now feels like
a possible learning experience.
224
00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:33,362
Oh, my God. You smell so nice.
225
00:07:37,019 --> 00:07:39,260
What am I doing here? Who are you?
226
00:07:39,316 --> 00:07:40,673
Are you all trees?
227
00:07:40,698 --> 00:07:42,698
What happened to you?
You used to be a man.
228
00:07:42,733 --> 00:07:44,099
- Keep them away!
- Okay, okay.
229
00:07:44,135 --> 00:07:45,234
Girls, weren't you gonna remove
230
00:07:45,269 --> 00:07:47,036
that tree stump in the backyard?
231
00:07:47,071 --> 00:07:48,437
- Don't let them back...
- All right.
232
00:07:48,473 --> 00:07:49,805
- No, no, no.
- Just let go of my sweater.
233
00:07:49,841 --> 00:07:52,942
Oh, my God, what is
this sweater wet with?
234
00:07:52,977 --> 00:07:54,343
All right, I'm gonna
go make him some soup.
235
00:07:54,378 --> 00:07:56,011
Make sure he doesn't eat
anything that isn't food.
236
00:07:56,047 --> 00:07:58,113
I don't like the way
he's been eyeing that remote.
237
00:07:58,149 --> 00:07:59,482
Got it.
238
00:07:59,517 --> 00:08:01,851
This ski lodge, it's a disgrace.
239
00:08:01,886 --> 00:08:03,419
Oh, I am here for this.
240
00:08:03,454 --> 00:08:05,387
They're closing in on us, Diana.
241
00:08:05,423 --> 00:08:08,290
Charles will not rest
until we're both dead.
242
00:08:08,326 --> 00:08:09,925
Oh, I love this area.
243
00:08:09,961 --> 00:08:12,795
My... head is...
244
00:08:12,830 --> 00:08:14,163
is very hot.
245
00:08:14,198 --> 00:08:15,464
Rory, your mom is so pretty.
246
00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:17,399
- I wanna kiss your mom.
- Come again?
247
00:08:17,435 --> 00:08:18,767
Kiss Poppy's face...
248
00:08:18,803 --> 00:08:20,469
Kiss that pretty face...
249
00:08:20,505 --> 00:08:22,004
Ooh.
250
00:08:22,039 --> 00:08:23,906
Twist.
251
00:08:25,276 --> 00:08:27,776
And then, Dr. Dewan put
her hands on my neck like this.
252
00:08:27,812 --> 00:08:29,512
- Ohh.
- And she said to me,
253
00:08:29,547 --> 00:08:31,739
"I think your lymph nodes feel fine."
254
00:08:31,774 --> 00:08:33,574
Right? It was so confusing!
255
00:08:33,609 --> 00:08:35,175
Miggy, you know all about the ladies.
256
00:08:35,211 --> 00:08:36,610
Help me out.
257
00:08:36,646 --> 00:08:38,454
Let me guess... she gave you her number?
258
00:08:38,489 --> 00:08:41,090
Yeah. What am I gonna do with that?
259
00:08:41,125 --> 00:08:43,692
Dating's changed so much
since I met Mia.
260
00:08:43,728 --> 00:08:45,427
Now everything's so confusing,
with all these apps,
261
00:08:45,463 --> 00:08:47,162
like Tinder and Bumble
262
00:08:47,198 --> 00:08:49,064
and Candy Crush and Calculator.
263
00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:50,332
It's easier than you think, okay?
264
00:08:50,368 --> 00:08:52,134
Just give her as little as possible.
265
00:08:52,169 --> 00:08:53,836
Um, text her a random word
266
00:08:53,871 --> 00:08:55,727
and then see how long
before she responds.
267
00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:57,973
All right. I'm gonna text her...
268
00:08:58,009 --> 00:08:59,375
"lettuce."
269
00:09:01,896 --> 00:09:03,028
And sent.
270
00:09:03,064 --> 00:09:05,188
Now we just wait and...
271
00:09:05,213 --> 00:09:07,566
Whoa! I wonder if she meant
to send that picture.
272
00:09:07,602 --> 00:09:08,534
Or that one.
273
00:09:08,569 --> 00:09:09,902
Or that one.
274
00:09:09,937 --> 00:09:11,036
Okay, I think it's safe to assume
275
00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:12,037
she means to send these.
276
00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:13,505
- What are they?
- Nothing.
277
00:09:13,541 --> 00:09:15,841
I guess, if you must know,
278
00:09:15,876 --> 00:09:18,577
they are what people refer to
as "sexual text messages"...
279
00:09:18,613 --> 00:09:20,512
- Oh, okay.
- ...or "sexages."
280
00:09:21,749 --> 00:09:23,215
Hey, do you think that Angie would mind
281
00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:24,950
if I asked out
her pediatrician on a date?
282
00:09:24,986 --> 00:09:26,518
I mean, I just don't want
to mess up her chance
283
00:09:26,554 --> 00:09:27,686
to get on the Mist List.
284
00:09:27,722 --> 00:09:29,989
Pfft. If anything,
you hooking up with this doctor
285
00:09:30,024 --> 00:09:31,690
is only gonna help Angie's chances.
286
00:09:31,726 --> 00:09:32,725
- My dude.
- Yeah.
287
00:09:35,262 --> 00:09:37,863
But no one does dates anymore, a'ight?
288
00:09:37,898 --> 00:09:39,131
Sex comes first.
289
00:09:39,166 --> 00:09:40,532
- Yeah, man.
- Yeah.
290
00:09:40,568 --> 00:09:42,181
- I'm ready for that.
- I know you're ready for that.
291
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:43,761
I always knew a day would come
I'd have to use my body
292
00:09:43,804 --> 00:09:45,070
as a bargaining chip.
293
00:09:46,140 --> 00:09:47,373
Whoa, mama!
294
00:09:47,408 --> 00:09:49,174
Well, apparently
you can use portrait mode
295
00:09:49,210 --> 00:09:50,676
on more than just your face.
296
00:09:52,847 --> 00:09:55,047
Someone had a night to remember.
297
00:09:55,082 --> 00:09:57,316
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
298
00:09:57,351 --> 00:10:00,285
Maybe some video will jog your memory.
299
00:10:00,321 --> 00:10:02,721
Kiss Poppy's pretty face...
300
00:10:02,757 --> 00:10:04,490
Kiss pretty face...
301
00:10:04,525 --> 00:10:06,759
That is the ravings of a feverish man.
302
00:10:06,794 --> 00:10:09,028
You're not gonna show that
to your mom, are you?
303
00:10:09,063 --> 00:10:10,663
Who's to say what I'll do?
304
00:10:10,698 --> 00:10:12,364
I'm 7.
305
00:10:13,934 --> 00:10:16,168
I'm not gonna be threatened
by a first grader.
306
00:10:17,605 --> 00:10:19,138
Emma? Amy? Get in the car.
307
00:10:21,475 --> 00:10:23,008
I don't think they can hear you.
308
00:10:23,044 --> 00:10:24,276
Oh, they can hear me.
309
00:10:24,311 --> 00:10:26,378
It's happening. They saw me weak.
310
00:10:26,414 --> 00:10:29,348
Now it's just a matter of time
before they feast on my body.
311
00:10:30,718 --> 00:10:33,819
Oh, hey, guys. Big news.
312
00:10:33,854 --> 00:10:36,588
Tomorrow night, there is a woman
coming over to my house,
313
00:10:36,624 --> 00:10:39,925
and I'm pretty sure
we're going to make sex.
314
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:42,628
- Ooh!
- In-ter-course. In-ter-course.
315
00:10:42,663 --> 00:10:44,163
- Hey, hey, hey, what are you doing?
- Finally.
316
00:10:44,198 --> 00:10:47,466
In-ter-course! In-ter-course!
317
00:10:47,501 --> 00:10:48,567
- Hi, Susan.
- Come on, honey.
318
00:10:48,602 --> 00:10:50,369
Congratulations. Some woman out there
319
00:10:50,404 --> 00:10:52,104
is gonna have a very mediocre night.
320
00:10:52,139 --> 00:10:53,372
Yeah, she is.
321
00:10:53,407 --> 00:10:55,441
And she's been sending me
a bunch of sexages...
322
00:10:55,476 --> 00:10:56,755
- Ooh!
- ...and I may have sent her
323
00:10:56,779 --> 00:10:58,559
one or two myself.
324
00:10:58,619 --> 00:10:59,997
- God!
- Oh, good God, man.
325
00:11:00,022 --> 00:11:00,926
- Okay. Not cool.
- Put your phone away!
326
00:11:00,950 --> 00:11:02,761
That's worse than what I thought
you were gonna show us.
327
00:11:02,786 --> 00:11:04,683
- I taught you better than that.
- Terrible.
328
00:11:04,719 --> 00:11:06,351
So who's the kind of lucky lady?
329
00:11:06,387 --> 00:11:07,920
I'll give you three hints.
330
00:11:07,955 --> 00:11:09,788
You know her, you respect her,
331
00:11:09,824 --> 00:11:10,923
and it's Dr. Dewan.
332
00:11:10,958 --> 00:11:12,424
It's Dr. Dewan?
333
00:11:12,449 --> 00:11:13,369
No, dude.
334
00:11:13,394 --> 00:11:14,793
Definitely not. No.
335
00:11:14,829 --> 00:11:16,962
What she means is we don't date
people who work with our kids.
336
00:11:16,997 --> 00:11:18,630
It just tends to end in disaster.
337
00:11:18,666 --> 00:11:20,799
Maybe we can make an exception for Will.
338
00:11:20,835 --> 00:11:22,434
I mean, he's an adult man, and damn it,
339
00:11:22,470 --> 00:11:25,104
the poor sap deserves
to lose his virginity.
340
00:11:25,139 --> 00:11:26,171
Yeah, but the man is wearing
341
00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:28,140
two separate pieces of fleece clothing.
342
00:11:28,175 --> 00:11:29,374
Maybe we bend the rules just this once.
343
00:11:29,410 --> 00:11:30,442
Bend the rules?
344
00:11:30,478 --> 00:11:31,810
Where were you when I wanted to sleep
345
00:11:31,846 --> 00:11:33,045
with the twins' karate sensei?
346
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:35,514
- Master Gary?
- Yeah. He was so disciplined.
347
00:11:35,549 --> 00:11:37,583
Will, this is not happening, okay?
348
00:11:37,618 --> 00:11:38,884
I don't want to start all over
349
00:11:38,919 --> 00:11:40,819
on some new doctor's Mist List.
350
00:11:40,855 --> 00:11:42,921
You have to end it,
but don't make her angry.
351
00:11:42,957 --> 00:11:45,557
- Understand?
- Absolutely. Crystal clear.
352
00:11:45,593 --> 00:11:46,959
Keep her happy, break it off.
353
00:11:46,994 --> 00:11:48,360
No big deal. Simple.
354
00:11:51,232 --> 00:11:52,164
- Oh. Unh-unh.
- Ah.
355
00:11:52,199 --> 00:11:53,165
Perfect. You got me sick!
356
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:54,299
I'd ask you to take care of me,
357
00:11:54,335 --> 00:11:56,235
but I assume you have
some code against that, too?
358
00:11:56,270 --> 00:11:58,837
You bet your sick ass I do.
359
00:11:58,873 --> 00:12:01,907
But all you'll be getting
out of me is a Z-Pak
360
00:12:01,942 --> 00:12:04,243
and the number to my answering service.
361
00:12:04,278 --> 00:12:05,978
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
362
00:12:06,013 --> 00:12:07,513
- Why, hello, Douglas.
- Hey.
363
00:12:07,548 --> 00:12:10,212
Mom, any interest in some video
I shot on my phone last night?
364
00:12:10,237 --> 00:12:11,383
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You know what?
365
00:12:11,418 --> 00:12:12,518
I got a great idea.
366
00:12:12,553 --> 00:12:13,952
Why don't you get to the pharmacy
367
00:12:13,988 --> 00:12:15,387
and I'll make sure Rory gets home?
368
00:12:15,422 --> 00:12:17,289
- Okay.
- Girls, car.
369
00:12:17,324 --> 00:12:21,059
Hey, Emily Dickinson! How's your fever?
370
00:12:21,095 --> 00:12:23,195
Why don't you go curl up with a blanket
371
00:12:23,230 --> 00:12:24,696
and write a poem about it?
372
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:27,800
What'd I tell you? I lost them.
373
00:12:29,703 --> 00:12:31,236
Uh-oh. No. Unh-unh. Bye-bye.
374
00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:32,871
Nice, Douglas. Real nice.
375
00:12:32,907 --> 00:12:33,839
Okay, Broseph.
376
00:12:33,874 --> 00:12:35,240
Brozilla, what's up?
377
00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:37,075
I'm really gonna need your help
getting out of this now.
378
00:12:37,111 --> 00:12:38,844
Easy. See, most people
in that situation would be like,
379
00:12:38,879 --> 00:12:41,013
"You wanna get rid of a girl?
Ghost her."
380
00:12:41,048 --> 00:12:44,950
But I say, nah, become
the opposite of a ghost.
381
00:12:44,985 --> 00:12:46,318
Which is a goblin?
382
00:12:46,353 --> 00:12:47,386
A ghoul?
383
00:12:47,421 --> 00:12:49,688
N-No, the opposite of a ghost
is a mailman.
384
00:12:49,723 --> 00:12:51,089
- Oh.
- You gotta mailman that chick, bro.
385
00:12:51,125 --> 00:12:52,491
How do you mailman someone?
386
00:12:52,526 --> 00:12:53,759
Man... Okay, look.
387
00:12:53,794 --> 00:12:56,929
You show up, totally
unannounced, at their house.
388
00:12:56,964 --> 00:12:58,096
Puh!
389
00:12:58,132 --> 00:13:00,399
Oh. Yeah, okay.
That sounds like a mailman.
390
00:13:00,434 --> 00:13:01,667
Word.
391
00:13:01,702 --> 00:13:03,135
Have you said anything?
392
00:13:03,170 --> 00:13:06,905
Not yet, but you know how hard
it is to keep a secret,
393
00:13:06,941 --> 00:13:09,474
and I'm starting to think
that this is a juicy one.
394
00:13:09,510 --> 00:13:10,642
What do you want from me?
395
00:13:10,678 --> 00:13:13,779
I think you know what I want.
396
00:13:13,814 --> 00:13:14,780
To go shopping?
397
00:13:14,815 --> 00:13:16,215
You just made a huge assumption
398
00:13:16,250 --> 00:13:17,382
about who I am as a person.
399
00:13:17,418 --> 00:13:19,518
And you were right on.
400
00:13:19,553 --> 00:13:21,386
I won't take you shopping.
401
00:13:21,422 --> 00:13:22,387
Yes, you will.
402
00:13:25,159 --> 00:13:27,025
To the mall. Chop-chop.
403
00:13:32,499 --> 00:13:33,699
I got to say,
404
00:13:33,734 --> 00:13:35,968
mailmanning feels
a little bit like stalking.
405
00:13:36,003 --> 00:13:38,103
Exactly. It'll freak her ass out,
406
00:13:38,138 --> 00:13:39,238
and she won't be into you anymore.
407
00:13:39,273 --> 00:13:41,740
Wow. Feels kind of thrilling, you know?
408
00:13:41,775 --> 00:13:43,008
- Word.
- You're sure it's gonna work?
409
00:13:43,043 --> 00:13:45,911
Man, I've never been more sure
of anything in my life.
410
00:13:50,084 --> 00:13:51,383
What are you doing here?
411
00:13:51,418 --> 00:13:54,086
Oh, you know, just, uh,
dropping by unannounced
412
00:13:54,121 --> 00:13:55,554
at your personal residence.
413
00:13:55,589 --> 00:13:57,756
Off-putting, right?
Well, that's just me.
414
00:13:57,791 --> 00:14:00,926
Red Flag City,
population... one lunatic.
415
00:14:00,961 --> 00:14:02,628
Ding, dong.
416
00:14:02,663 --> 00:14:03,795
It's the mailman.
417
00:14:03,831 --> 00:14:05,731
- The mailman?
- Mm-hmm.
418
00:14:06,781 --> 00:14:07,873
I like that.
419
00:14:09,270 --> 00:14:11,536
I gotta know what's in your bag.
420
00:14:14,241 --> 00:14:17,209
Coupons mostly,
a couple of real-estate mailers.
421
00:14:17,244 --> 00:14:19,378
This bag's property of the
United States Postal Service,
422
00:14:19,413 --> 00:14:21,079
and tampering with it
is a federal offense.
423
00:14:21,115 --> 00:14:22,581
And also, I don't actually
have a mail bag.
424
00:14:22,616 --> 00:14:23,749
And also, I'm not a mailman.
425
00:14:23,784 --> 00:14:24,950
See, the whole reason
that I did this thing...
426
00:14:29,726 --> 00:14:31,570
Yep, I can verify that purchase.
427
00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:34,867
It was, uh, nine pairs
of children's Italian loafers.
428
00:14:34,912 --> 00:14:38,805
Th-Th-That's right,
and $219 at the robe store.
429
00:14:38,876 --> 00:14:40,993
What? Hold on. Did you sneak away
430
00:14:41,041 --> 00:14:42,908
and buy an espresso machine?
431
00:14:42,935 --> 00:14:43,944
It's being delivered.
432
00:14:43,969 --> 00:14:45,369
Yeah, that was us, too.
433
00:14:45,419 --> 00:14:48,046
Well, that was the second call
from my credit card company.
434
00:14:48,085 --> 00:14:49,178
Are you satisfied?
435
00:14:49,203 --> 00:14:51,704
Honestly, I don't know
if I'll ever be satisfied.
436
00:14:51,739 --> 00:14:53,806
Guess the only way to find out
is to keep shopping.
437
00:14:53,841 --> 00:14:55,574
Tell you what. You want my watch?
Take my watch.
438
00:14:55,610 --> 00:14:56,809
My grandfather gave this to me
439
00:14:56,844 --> 00:14:58,444
when I graduated from medical school,
440
00:14:58,479 --> 00:15:00,813
but I can't handle you
trying on another tunic.
441
00:15:00,848 --> 00:15:02,181
Wait.
442
00:15:03,584 --> 00:15:06,585
You're going to actually give me
your grandfather's watch?
443
00:15:06,986 --> 00:15:10,022
Why would you do that unless...
444
00:15:10,057 --> 00:15:11,724
No. No, there's... there's no reason.
445
00:15:11,759 --> 00:15:14,460
I'm just trying to avoid
an embarrassing situation.
446
00:15:14,495 --> 00:15:15,734
You know what I think, Douglas?
447
00:15:15,759 --> 00:15:17,429
I think that you actually like my mom
448
00:15:17,465 --> 00:15:19,398
and you're scared she'll find out.
449
00:15:19,433 --> 00:15:20,758
Tell me I'm wrong.
450
00:15:22,136 --> 00:15:23,469
You just hesitated.
451
00:15:23,504 --> 00:15:24,570
N-No, I was swallowing.
452
00:15:24,605 --> 00:15:26,071
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a hesitation!
453
00:15:26,107 --> 00:15:27,473
- Can a man even swallow?
- We have a hesitation!
454
00:15:27,508 --> 00:15:28,880
- No going back!
- I was swallowing.
455
00:15:28,919 --> 00:15:30,576
J-J... Take the watch.
456
00:15:30,611 --> 00:15:32,578
I don't want that tacky thing.
457
00:15:32,613 --> 00:15:34,880
Just show her you care.
458
00:15:35,741 --> 00:15:38,046
And let's take one last lap for tunics.
459
00:15:38,101 --> 00:15:39,385
I don't think we've found the one yet.
460
00:15:45,893 --> 00:15:47,760
Oh!
461
00:15:52,099 --> 00:15:53,399
Mailmanning did not work.
462
00:15:53,434 --> 00:15:54,934
Yeah, I noticed that.
463
00:15:54,969 --> 00:15:57,803
Oh, man. How did I not know
about casual sex before this?
464
00:15:57,839 --> 00:15:58,771
It's amazing!
465
00:15:58,806 --> 00:15:59,805
We, like, got all naked.
466
00:15:59,841 --> 00:16:00,973
She doesn't even know my middle name.
467
00:16:01,008 --> 00:16:02,274
Ooh!
468
00:16:03,544 --> 00:16:05,377
Oh, no.
469
00:16:05,413 --> 00:16:06,345
Angie!
470
00:16:06,380 --> 00:16:07,680
- Hey.
- Always a treat.
471
00:16:07,715 --> 00:16:10,482
I thought I'd just see
how it went with Dr. Dewan.
472
00:16:10,518 --> 00:16:11,984
Your breathing sounds normal,
473
00:16:12,019 --> 00:16:13,519
so I guess she didn't
crush your windpipe.
474
00:16:13,554 --> 00:16:15,321
That's funny.
475
00:16:15,356 --> 00:16:17,690
You know, I was actually just
telling Miggy how well it went.
476
00:16:17,725 --> 00:16:19,558
I think you'd be very surprised
477
00:16:19,594 --> 00:16:22,161
with how Dr. Dewan
handled the situation.
478
00:16:22,196 --> 00:16:23,462
- I was.
- Thank God.
479
00:16:23,497 --> 00:16:25,164
I know how she can take bad news.
480
00:16:25,199 --> 00:16:26,031
Okay, talk soon.
481
00:16:26,067 --> 00:16:27,032
Bye!
482
00:16:28,469 --> 00:16:31,337
Private lessons?
483
00:16:31,372 --> 00:16:33,272
Master Gary...
484
00:16:33,307 --> 00:16:34,573
This is a disaster.
485
00:16:34,609 --> 00:16:36,709
I promised Angie I'd end it, and now...
486
00:16:36,744 --> 00:16:38,544
Can I be honest? Will to Miggy?
487
00:16:38,579 --> 00:16:40,279
- Mm-hmm.
- I don't want to!
488
00:16:40,314 --> 00:16:41,914
Thank God I have you.
Tell me how to fix this.
489
00:16:41,949 --> 00:16:43,449
I know I'm in good hands.
490
00:16:43,484 --> 00:16:46,452
Yeah! So, uh... you just... uh...
491
00:16:46,487 --> 00:16:48,120
So, typically at this point...
492
00:16:48,155 --> 00:16:50,489
- Okay.
- ...you... uh...
493
00:16:50,524 --> 00:16:52,091
Tell me.
494
00:16:52,126 --> 00:16:53,893
I made it up, man. All of it.
495
00:16:53,928 --> 00:16:55,261
I have no idea what I'm talking about.
496
00:16:55,296 --> 00:16:57,830
- What? Why would you do that?
- I don't know.
497
00:16:57,865 --> 00:16:59,528
I just liked that someone thought
498
00:16:59,559 --> 00:17:00,807
I was an expert on something.
499
00:17:00,832 --> 00:17:02,534
I mean, who knew just texting
"lettuce" would work?
500
00:17:02,570 --> 00:17:03,569
Ho'd up.
501
00:17:03,604 --> 00:17:04,937
Haven't you been with a bunch of ladies?
502
00:17:04,972 --> 00:17:06,939
Two, technically three?
503
00:17:06,974 --> 00:17:08,674
But it was in high school, man,
504
00:17:08,709 --> 00:17:10,509
and all I had to do was
just walk over and be like,
505
00:17:10,544 --> 00:17:13,245
"Yo, you wanna see me throw
this fish tank off the roof?"
506
00:17:14,348 --> 00:17:16,048
Then I hooked up with my best friend
507
00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:17,516
and she got knocked up by accident.
508
00:17:17,551 --> 00:17:20,085
But can I be honest with you,
Miggy to Will?
509
00:17:20,121 --> 00:17:21,820
Of course. Miggy to Will.
510
00:17:21,856 --> 00:17:25,224
Maybe it's dumb, but I'm still sort of
511
00:17:25,259 --> 00:17:26,725
holding out hope for Jack's mom,
512
00:17:26,761 --> 00:17:28,994
which has made
meeting other girls tough.
513
00:17:29,030 --> 00:17:31,196
Every time I go to download
a dating app,
514
00:17:31,232 --> 00:17:33,799
I spend five hours just looking
at Zara's Instagram.
515
00:17:33,834 --> 00:17:36,702
That is just... so beautiful.
516
00:17:36,737 --> 00:17:37,670
Thanks.
517
00:17:37,705 --> 00:17:40,105
And also, I'm seething with rage.
518
00:17:40,141 --> 00:17:42,074
It was creative, though...
"mailmanning"?
519
00:17:42,109 --> 00:17:43,976
Better than my first idea.
520
00:17:44,011 --> 00:17:45,311
Lady-bugging.
521
00:17:45,346 --> 00:17:47,046
That's where you just
land on her shoulder.
522
00:17:47,982 --> 00:17:49,281
What are you gonna do now, man?
523
00:17:55,022 --> 00:17:56,288
Poppy?
524
00:17:57,925 --> 00:17:59,725
I can't see. Are you here?
525
00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:02,227
Are you sure
you want to see me like this?
526
00:18:02,263 --> 00:18:04,830
I'll take my chances.
527
00:18:04,865 --> 00:18:06,231
Okay.
528
00:18:08,069 --> 00:18:09,601
Pardon me, Ms. Diana Ross.
529
00:18:09,637 --> 00:18:11,270
I'm looking for my friend Poppy.
530
00:18:15,343 --> 00:18:17,109
What made you change your mind?
531
00:18:17,144 --> 00:18:19,411
Well...
532
00:18:19,447 --> 00:18:21,113
How lucid are you right now?
533
00:18:21,148 --> 00:18:22,281
Eh.
534
00:18:23,918 --> 00:18:25,184
I, uh...
535
00:18:27,521 --> 00:18:30,823
I've always had a hard time
with weakness.
536
00:18:30,858 --> 00:18:33,392
My father had 11 kills in France,
537
00:18:33,427 --> 00:18:35,361
and now it's 2018,
538
00:18:35,396 --> 00:18:37,696
and I'm supposed to let a woman
539
00:18:37,732 --> 00:18:40,099
peel me off the floor of a pharmacy.
540
00:18:40,134 --> 00:18:43,435
Where the hell's
the dignity in that, right?
541
00:18:43,471 --> 00:18:47,172
Plus, your son tried to blackmail me
542
00:18:47,208 --> 00:18:51,094
because he knows that I think
he has a pretty mom.
543
00:18:53,325 --> 00:18:55,748
Oh, thank God. Okay.
544
00:19:07,711 --> 00:19:08,694
Hey.
545
00:19:08,729 --> 00:19:10,781
I know you're not expecting me.
546
00:19:10,812 --> 00:19:12,364
Honestly not trying to mailman you.
547
00:19:12,392 --> 00:19:14,125
- So it is a thing.
- Just hear me out.
548
00:19:14,168 --> 00:19:15,901
It means a lot
549
00:19:15,936 --> 00:19:17,936
that you're willing
to give up Dr. Dewan for me.
550
00:19:17,972 --> 00:19:20,339
But I thought about it, and...
551
00:19:20,374 --> 00:19:22,207
Oh, God.
552
00:19:22,243 --> 00:19:24,943
I've never met a man
who needs to have sex more.
553
00:19:24,979 --> 00:19:26,478
I mean, just look at you.
554
00:19:26,514 --> 00:19:28,147
Where do you even find a T-shirt
555
00:19:28,182 --> 00:19:31,216
with sleeves that big and billowy?
556
00:19:32,286 --> 00:19:35,154
So, if you like her,
557
00:19:35,189 --> 00:19:36,188
go for it.
558
00:19:37,391 --> 00:19:38,724
Hello, Angela.
559
00:19:40,161 --> 00:19:42,313
Oh. So you didn't give her up?
560
00:19:42,338 --> 00:19:43,914
- You just said it was okay.
- No, it is not okay.
561
00:19:43,955 --> 00:19:45,516
Well, I went to her house and I
tried to break it off with her.
562
00:19:45,541 --> 00:19:47,260
- Obviously. I'm just trying to be nice.
- She's a spitfire.
563
00:19:47,284 --> 00:19:48,219
It's not okay.
564
00:19:48,244 --> 00:19:49,535
- Angela.
- Dr. Dewan.
565
00:19:49,570 --> 00:19:51,837
We just had an opening on the Mist List.
566
00:19:51,872 --> 00:19:54,838
Do you want to come in
tomorrow, say around 3:00?
567
00:19:54,863 --> 00:19:55,707
I...
568
00:19:59,313 --> 00:20:00,446
Yes, that would be great.
569
00:20:00,481 --> 00:20:01,647
Okay.
570
00:20:01,682 --> 00:20:04,049
So everything worked out.
571
00:20:05,486 --> 00:20:07,753
Hmm. Looks like I'm gonna
have to floss tonight.
572
00:20:09,156 --> 00:20:11,177
- Ew.
- Show yourself out?
573
00:20:12,201 --> 00:20:14,255
We're home, Bernie Sanders.
574
00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:15,849
Yeah, Mr. Free College.
575
00:20:15,904 --> 00:20:18,964
There better be a snack on the table.
576
00:20:19,020 --> 00:20:20,719
Dad?
577
00:20:21,176 --> 00:20:22,943
Dad, are you here?
578
00:20:24,179 --> 00:20:27,319
"Ladies, I've gone to the woods to die.
579
00:20:27,366 --> 00:20:29,632
Don't bother looking for me."
580
00:20:29,668 --> 00:20:31,968
"I'm sure raccoons
and other hungry vermin
581
00:20:32,004 --> 00:20:33,803
have torn apart my body by now
582
00:20:33,839 --> 00:20:36,539
and that's not how your old man
wants to be remembered.
583
00:20:36,575 --> 00:20:38,375
Anyway, you'll be fine.
584
00:20:38,410 --> 00:20:40,643
You're strong enough
to raise yourselves.
585
00:20:40,679 --> 00:20:42,012
There's bologna in the fridge.
586
00:20:42,047 --> 00:20:43,046
Goodbye."
587
00:20:45,083 --> 00:20:46,316
Daddy's gone?
588
00:20:46,351 --> 00:20:47,717
But we're just kids!
589
00:20:47,753 --> 00:20:50,020
Aah!
590
00:20:50,055 --> 00:20:51,488
Who's weak now?
591
00:20:51,534 --> 00:20:54,368
Damn it. Girls, get the wet vac!
592
00:20:54,393 --> 00:20:56,092
- Getting it!
- On the double!
593
00:20:58,063 --> 00:21:03,063
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com