1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:03,906 It's 8:30 in the morning. 2 00:00:03,945 --> 00:00:05,612 You've already found a way to irritate me. 3 00:00:05,647 --> 00:00:06,613 Hey, hey, hey! 4 00:00:06,648 --> 00:00:07,947 Give Miggy a break, Douglas. 5 00:00:07,983 --> 00:00:10,216 He has to be on his phone, that's where all the ladies are! 6 00:00:10,252 --> 00:00:11,484 Right. Right. 7 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:13,086 This phone's blowing up with ladies. 8 00:00:13,121 --> 00:00:14,687 My DMs be poppin'. 9 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:15,989 That means his direct messages 10 00:00:16,024 --> 00:00:17,423 are filling up with lady inquiries. 11 00:00:17,459 --> 00:00:18,892 Miggy's teaching me all the lingo. 12 00:00:18,927 --> 00:00:19,893 Mm. 13 00:00:19,928 --> 00:00:20,960 Pink flyer! 14 00:00:20,996 --> 00:00:23,530 Oh, God. I hope it's not lice again. 15 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:26,199 No kidding. I can't keep shaving Emma and Amy's heads. 16 00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:28,468 It's flu season. One kid's already got it. 17 00:00:28,503 --> 00:00:30,770 I bet it's Topher. That kid licks everything. 18 00:00:30,805 --> 00:00:32,705 Thank God Sophie already got her flu shot. 19 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,374 Yeah, flu shots are for the weak. 20 00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:36,976 Fogertys don't get sick. It's family policy. 21 00:00:37,012 --> 00:00:38,244 I don't allow it. 22 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:39,579 You know, I usually ignore the nonsense 23 00:00:39,614 --> 00:00:41,481 that comes out of your mouth, but this I have to hear... 24 00:00:41,516 --> 00:00:43,449 so, you, Douglas Fogerty, 25 00:00:43,485 --> 00:00:45,585 never get sick because you don't allow it? 26 00:00:45,620 --> 00:00:48,054 That's exactly right. I'm the boss of my own body. 27 00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:50,256 When I was in my early 20s, I was short, 28 00:00:50,292 --> 00:00:52,292 and then I decided not to be. 29 00:00:52,327 --> 00:00:54,561 Graham hasn't gotten his shot yet. 30 00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:55,728 It's his biggest fear. 31 00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:56,696 Ho'd up! Ho'd up! 32 00:00:56,731 --> 00:00:58,431 - I taught him that. - What? 33 00:00:58,466 --> 00:01:00,433 Did you know that they developed a flu shot in mist form? 34 00:01:00,468 --> 00:01:02,368 He doesn't have to get the shot. He can just breathe it in. 35 00:01:02,404 --> 00:01:04,804 Yeah, I know, but they only make the mist in limited quantities 36 00:01:04,839 --> 00:01:07,273 and we haven't yet made it onto our pediatrician's "Mist List," 37 00:01:07,309 --> 00:01:09,375 so we're gonna have to suffer through the shot again. 38 00:01:09,411 --> 00:01:11,978 But there's no way it could be as bad as it was last year. 39 00:01:12,013 --> 00:01:13,112 Everything looks good! 40 00:01:13,148 --> 00:01:14,514 The doctor will be right in for your shot. 41 00:01:16,017 --> 00:01:17,617 You're being so brave. 42 00:01:17,652 --> 00:01:19,586 I'm really proud of you. 43 00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,123 Well, that's handled. 44 00:01:24,159 --> 00:01:25,124 I won't even tell you 45 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,160 about the time he bit the receptionist. 46 00:01:27,195 --> 00:01:28,761 But thank God for Dr. Dewan. 47 00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:31,297 She scares the hell out of me, but she's a genius. 48 00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:32,432 Wait. You see Dr. Dewan? 49 00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:34,267 - You're still seeing her? - Mm-hmm. 50 00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:35,768 See, we had to find a new pediatrician. 51 00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:38,171 I just felt like such a bad parent after every visit, 52 00:01:38,206 --> 00:01:40,740 - I'd wind up binging "Teen Mom." - Right? 53 00:01:40,775 --> 00:01:42,842 I have to schedule five minutes after every appointment 54 00:01:42,877 --> 00:01:44,577 so I can cry in my car. 55 00:01:44,613 --> 00:01:45,545 It's incredible. 56 00:01:45,580 --> 00:01:46,613 I have been trying to get Sophie 57 00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:48,167 an appointment with her for four months. 58 00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:49,248 Please let us tag along. 59 00:01:49,284 --> 00:01:51,918 Seeing Dr. Dewan give a flu shot is on my actual bucket list. 60 00:01:51,953 --> 00:01:53,620 Fine. You can tag along, 61 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,588 but please never show me your bucket list, 62 00:01:55,624 --> 00:01:57,290 because that sounds like a real bummer. 63 00:01:57,325 --> 00:02:00,293 I can't believe I'm going to meet the Dr. Dewan, 64 00:02:00,339 --> 00:02:02,249 the premier pediatrician in Southern California. 65 00:02:02,296 --> 00:02:05,365 Just ask one of the six children's health magazines I subscribe to... 66 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:06,866 The man needs sex. 67 00:02:08,870 --> 00:02:11,971 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 68 00:02:13,889 --> 00:02:15,520 All right, sweetie, do you have everything you need 69 00:02:15,545 --> 00:02:16,763 to help you get through the shot? 70 00:02:16,789 --> 00:02:19,378 What? Is someone talking to me? 71 00:02:19,449 --> 00:02:21,348 Look at this office. 72 00:02:21,377 --> 00:02:23,394 It's exactly how I imagined it. 73 00:02:23,449 --> 00:02:25,716 Hey, Little G, how you holding up? 74 00:02:25,751 --> 00:02:27,651 Oh, Mom... Flu shot... 75 00:02:27,686 --> 00:02:29,052 Okay, listen, Will. 76 00:02:29,088 --> 00:02:32,022 We are this close to getting on the Mist List, okay? 77 00:02:32,057 --> 00:02:33,090 Do not make eye contact, 78 00:02:33,125 --> 00:02:34,858 only speak when spoken to, and remember, 79 00:02:34,894 --> 00:02:36,560 - we work for her. - Got it. 80 00:02:36,595 --> 00:02:37,961 Did you put on a dress for this? 81 00:02:37,997 --> 00:02:40,030 - Did you get a blowout? - You have no idea 82 00:02:40,065 --> 00:02:41,131 how high the stakes are... 83 00:02:42,234 --> 00:02:43,741 DR. - Nice to see you, Graham. 84 00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,366 He has a walnut allergy. 85 00:02:45,405 --> 00:02:46,957 I can tell by the way he sits. 86 00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:49,292 And you haven't been protecting him from the sun. 87 00:02:49,328 --> 00:02:51,328 Anything less than 100 SPF, and you might as well 88 00:02:51,363 --> 00:02:53,496 dip him in butter and strap him to the roof of a car. 89 00:02:53,532 --> 00:02:55,591 Graham, have you been eating your vegetables? 90 00:02:55,638 --> 00:02:57,400 - It depends on the... - I want to hear from the boy. 91 00:02:57,436 --> 00:03:00,837 Um, for breakfast, I had some chips. 92 00:03:03,842 --> 00:03:06,009 I try to get him vegetables, but... 93 00:03:06,044 --> 00:03:07,477 It... I-I'm busy. 94 00:03:07,512 --> 00:03:08,612 I-I'm a single mom, 95 00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,080 I work overtime. It's tough. 96 00:03:10,115 --> 00:03:12,182 You know what's tough? Juvenile diabetes. 97 00:03:12,217 --> 00:03:15,051 You have to force him to eat five to seven servings a day. 98 00:03:16,054 --> 00:03:18,455 Uh, not to be "that guy," 99 00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,490 but I actually just read a new report that came out. 100 00:03:20,525 --> 00:03:22,392 - It was in Pediatric American. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 101 00:03:22,427 --> 00:03:24,160 And it said that parental 102 00:03:24,196 --> 00:03:25,862 coercion at the dinner table doesn't actually lead 103 00:03:25,897 --> 00:03:28,031 to long-term changes in kids' eating habits. 104 00:03:28,066 --> 00:03:29,599 Oh, I'm so sorry. 105 00:03:29,635 --> 00:03:30,667 I didn't realize we had 106 00:03:30,702 --> 00:03:32,769 another medical professional in the room. 107 00:03:32,804 --> 00:03:34,237 Doesn't take a medical professional 108 00:03:34,273 --> 00:03:36,039 - to read Pediatric American. - Thanks for the tip. 109 00:03:36,074 --> 00:03:38,174 I've been published in Pediatric American 10 times. 110 00:03:38,210 --> 00:03:40,277 - 11 times. - What? 111 00:03:40,312 --> 00:03:41,645 I've read everything you've ever written. 112 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,480 Frankly, that's why I expected more from you... 113 00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,282 Hey! Changing the subject! 114 00:03:45,317 --> 00:03:46,750 I guess that this isn't the best time 115 00:03:46,785 --> 00:03:49,619 to ask if we have any shot at the Mist List this year? 116 00:03:49,655 --> 00:03:51,021 After today, what do you think? 117 00:03:51,056 --> 00:03:52,656 You ready for your shot, Graham? 118 00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:57,727 I blinked and he was just gone. 119 00:03:57,763 --> 00:04:00,030 Okay, I need feedback on this smock. 120 00:04:00,065 --> 00:04:02,098 Of course it goes with the tights, 121 00:04:02,134 --> 00:04:03,900 but then I thought, 122 00:04:03,935 --> 00:04:05,602 why not just... 123 00:04:05,637 --> 00:04:07,804 - A pair of cowboy boots! - A pair of cowboy boots! 124 00:04:07,839 --> 00:04:09,539 Yes, Montana realness. 125 00:04:13,745 --> 00:04:15,344 - Hi. - Hey, girls. 126 00:04:15,383 --> 00:04:16,912 - No running. - We're light jogging. 127 00:04:16,937 --> 00:04:18,313 Okay, listen. 128 00:04:18,350 --> 00:04:19,983 I don't have much time to explain. 129 00:04:20,018 --> 00:04:22,152 - I'm sick. - Sick?! 130 00:04:22,187 --> 00:04:24,688 Oh, I thought you didn't "allow" germs? 131 00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:26,556 The illness has breached the system. 132 00:04:26,591 --> 00:04:28,692 Okay, now, listen to me. I need you to watch the girls, 133 00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:30,427 because if they see me weak, 134 00:04:30,462 --> 00:04:33,730 then the delicate parent-to-child power balance 135 00:04:33,765 --> 00:04:36,333 will be disrupted, and that can't happen. 136 00:04:36,368 --> 00:04:38,401 They've already started collecting nursing home brochures. 137 00:04:38,437 --> 00:04:40,236 I'm gonna go to the woods now. 138 00:04:40,272 --> 00:04:41,237 Wait. The woods? 139 00:04:41,273 --> 00:04:42,906 - The metaphorical woods. - Okay. 140 00:04:42,941 --> 00:04:44,374 I need total isolation. 141 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,409 Douglas, just get over yourself and let me take care of you. 142 00:04:46,445 --> 00:04:49,346 The girls, they... they can't see me like this. 143 00:04:49,381 --> 00:04:50,580 I think they'd surprise you. 144 00:04:50,615 --> 00:04:51,948 They aren't psychopaths. 145 00:04:58,457 --> 00:04:59,556 What were you doing in there? 146 00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:01,658 You owe me 30 bucks for this blowout. 147 00:05:01,693 --> 00:05:02,992 I'm sorry, okay? 148 00:05:03,028 --> 00:05:04,894 Talking about pediatric dietary guidelines 149 00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:06,496 brings out the wild man in me. 150 00:05:06,531 --> 00:05:08,031 I can't see through this mask. 151 00:05:08,066 --> 00:05:09,733 Are we still in the office? 152 00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:11,034 Did I get the shot? 153 00:05:11,069 --> 00:05:13,002 No, sweetheart, we're gonna have to come back. 154 00:05:13,038 --> 00:05:15,171 I will not let you ruin my chance 155 00:05:15,207 --> 00:05:16,606 of getting on the Mist List this year. 156 00:05:16,641 --> 00:05:17,774 I can't do this again. 157 00:05:17,809 --> 00:05:19,876 I've been feeding Graham turkey for three days 158 00:05:19,911 --> 00:05:21,277 to keep him drowsy. 159 00:05:21,313 --> 00:05:23,513 I am this close to giving him wine. 160 00:05:23,548 --> 00:05:25,749 Now go back in there and apologize. 161 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:26,916 - She is... - Now. 162 00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:27,817 - I... - Right now. 163 00:05:27,842 --> 00:05:28,651 - If you... - Now. 164 00:05:28,687 --> 00:05:29,786 - But she... - Now! 165 00:05:29,821 --> 00:05:31,154 - But... If... - Now. Now. 166 00:05:31,189 --> 00:05:32,722 I will apologize for my behavior. 167 00:05:32,758 --> 00:05:35,492 - Great. - But I will not apologize for my beliefs. 168 00:05:36,995 --> 00:05:39,062 3, 2, 1... 169 00:05:39,097 --> 00:05:40,764 Start the magic. 170 00:05:42,100 --> 00:05:44,200 You girls just saved me $200. 171 00:05:45,103 --> 00:05:46,102 Hello? 172 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:47,337 Wait, what? 173 00:05:47,372 --> 00:05:48,772 He's where? 174 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,206 I put in his prescription 175 00:05:50,242 --> 00:05:52,242 and that's when the fever took control. 176 00:05:52,277 --> 00:05:53,710 Next thing you know, I'm watching a grown man 177 00:05:53,745 --> 00:05:55,378 try to eat a coloring book. 178 00:05:56,448 --> 00:05:57,814 Hi, guys! 179 00:05:57,849 --> 00:06:01,751 Do you think these sunglasses make my face look too small? 180 00:06:01,787 --> 00:06:04,821 I mean, the look is punk, but it's also now. 181 00:06:04,856 --> 00:06:05,955 They're a "buy" for me. 182 00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:08,324 Oh, my God. He's burning up. 183 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:09,793 The girls can't see me like this... 184 00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:12,262 - Okay. - Da-Daddy's waiting for medicine. 185 00:06:12,297 --> 00:06:14,164 It's a cold. Get a hold of yourself! 186 00:06:14,199 --> 00:06:15,765 Terry, you're our father now. 187 00:06:15,801 --> 00:06:17,434 I'm already feeding five birds. 188 00:06:17,469 --> 00:06:19,536 I need to be among the trees. 189 00:06:19,571 --> 00:06:21,304 All right, let's get you up. 190 00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:22,839 Okay. 191 00:06:22,874 --> 00:06:24,808 We're gonna need a dolly. 192 00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:30,113 Well, well. 193 00:06:30,148 --> 00:06:32,081 - Captain Vegetables. - I, uh... 194 00:06:32,117 --> 00:06:35,852 I just wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier. 195 00:06:36,988 --> 00:06:38,288 But not my beliefs. 196 00:06:38,323 --> 00:06:40,056 You know, you were right about parental coercion. 197 00:06:40,091 --> 00:06:42,258 It is in the latest Pediatric American. 198 00:06:42,294 --> 00:06:43,426 Told ya. 199 00:06:43,462 --> 00:06:45,562 I was right, you were wrong. 200 00:06:45,597 --> 00:06:47,430 Just please don't take that out on Graham, okay? 201 00:06:47,466 --> 00:06:48,765 He really needs the Mist List... 202 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,204 Have you really read all of my articles? 203 00:06:50,235 --> 00:06:51,167 Yes, I have. 204 00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:52,569 Even the ones you write under your pen name, 205 00:06:52,604 --> 00:06:53,703 Dr. Vicky Bradshaw. 206 00:06:53,738 --> 00:06:54,871 I don't have a pen name. 207 00:06:54,906 --> 00:06:56,406 Come on. 208 00:06:56,441 --> 00:06:57,807 Oh, you're good. 209 00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:01,611 Who are you? 210 00:07:01,646 --> 00:07:03,213 Where did you come from? 211 00:07:04,616 --> 00:07:07,784 Uh, I was born at a very young age. 212 00:07:07,819 --> 00:07:09,118 No, my name's Will Cooper. 213 00:07:09,154 --> 00:07:11,097 I'm from Denver originally, Mile High City. 214 00:07:11,122 --> 00:07:12,055 Why "mile high"? 215 00:07:12,090 --> 00:07:13,857 Well, it has something to do with the sea level and the... 216 00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:16,860 Oh, you just think you're so smart. 217 00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:18,595 You just know it all. 218 00:07:19,698 --> 00:07:21,331 I would never claim to know it all, 219 00:07:21,366 --> 00:07:23,309 but I-I definitely think of learning 220 00:07:23,363 --> 00:07:25,184 as sort of a life's journey thing... 221 00:07:25,238 --> 00:07:26,870 Um, you can never know everything. 222 00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:28,304 You're... You're always constantly learning. 223 00:07:28,340 --> 00:07:31,207 Like, right now feels like a possible learning experience. 224 00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:33,362 Oh, my God. You smell so nice. 225 00:07:37,019 --> 00:07:39,260 What am I doing here? Who are you? 226 00:07:39,316 --> 00:07:40,673 Are you all trees? 227 00:07:40,698 --> 00:07:42,698 What happened to you? You used to be a man. 228 00:07:42,733 --> 00:07:44,099 - Keep them away! - Okay, okay. 229 00:07:44,135 --> 00:07:45,234 Girls, weren't you gonna remove 230 00:07:45,269 --> 00:07:47,036 that tree stump in the backyard? 231 00:07:47,071 --> 00:07:48,437 - Don't let them back... - All right. 232 00:07:48,473 --> 00:07:49,805 - No, no, no. - Just let go of my sweater. 233 00:07:49,841 --> 00:07:52,942 Oh, my God, what is this sweater wet with? 234 00:07:52,977 --> 00:07:54,343 All right, I'm gonna go make him some soup. 235 00:07:54,378 --> 00:07:56,011 Make sure he doesn't eat anything that isn't food. 236 00:07:56,047 --> 00:07:58,113 I don't like the way he's been eyeing that remote. 237 00:07:58,149 --> 00:07:59,482 Got it. 238 00:07:59,517 --> 00:08:01,851 This ski lodge, it's a disgrace. 239 00:08:01,886 --> 00:08:03,419 Oh, I am here for this. 240 00:08:03,454 --> 00:08:05,387 They're closing in on us, Diana. 241 00:08:05,423 --> 00:08:08,290 Charles will not rest until we're both dead. 242 00:08:08,326 --> 00:08:09,925 Oh, I love this area. 243 00:08:09,961 --> 00:08:12,795 My... head is... 244 00:08:12,830 --> 00:08:14,163 is very hot. 245 00:08:14,198 --> 00:08:15,464 Rory, your mom is so pretty. 246 00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:17,399 - I wanna kiss your mom. - Come again? 247 00:08:17,435 --> 00:08:18,767 Kiss Poppy's face... 248 00:08:18,803 --> 00:08:20,469 Kiss that pretty face... 249 00:08:20,505 --> 00:08:22,004 Ooh. 250 00:08:22,039 --> 00:08:23,906 Twist. 251 00:08:25,276 --> 00:08:27,776 And then, Dr. Dewan put her hands on my neck like this. 252 00:08:27,812 --> 00:08:29,512 - Ohh. - And she said to me, 253 00:08:29,547 --> 00:08:31,739 "I think your lymph nodes feel fine." 254 00:08:31,774 --> 00:08:33,574 Right? It was so confusing! 255 00:08:33,609 --> 00:08:35,175 Miggy, you know all about the ladies. 256 00:08:35,211 --> 00:08:36,610 Help me out. 257 00:08:36,646 --> 00:08:38,454 Let me guess... she gave you her number? 258 00:08:38,489 --> 00:08:41,090 Yeah. What am I gonna do with that? 259 00:08:41,125 --> 00:08:43,692 Dating's changed so much since I met Mia. 260 00:08:43,728 --> 00:08:45,427 Now everything's so confusing, with all these apps, 261 00:08:45,463 --> 00:08:47,162 like Tinder and Bumble 262 00:08:47,198 --> 00:08:49,064 and Candy Crush and Calculator. 263 00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:50,332 It's easier than you think, okay? 264 00:08:50,368 --> 00:08:52,134 Just give her as little as possible. 265 00:08:52,169 --> 00:08:53,836 Um, text her a random word 266 00:08:53,871 --> 00:08:55,727 and then see how long before she responds. 267 00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:57,973 All right. I'm gonna text her... 268 00:08:58,009 --> 00:08:59,375 "lettuce." 269 00:09:01,896 --> 00:09:03,028 And sent. 270 00:09:03,064 --> 00:09:05,188 Now we just wait and... 271 00:09:05,213 --> 00:09:07,566 Whoa! I wonder if she meant to send that picture. 272 00:09:07,602 --> 00:09:08,534 Or that one. 273 00:09:08,569 --> 00:09:09,902 Or that one. 274 00:09:09,937 --> 00:09:11,036 Okay, I think it's safe to assume 275 00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:12,037 she means to send these. 276 00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:13,505 - What are they? - Nothing. 277 00:09:13,541 --> 00:09:15,841 I guess, if you must know, 278 00:09:15,876 --> 00:09:18,577 they are what people refer to as "sexual text messages"... 279 00:09:18,613 --> 00:09:20,512 - Oh, okay. - ...or "sexages." 280 00:09:21,749 --> 00:09:23,215 Hey, do you think that Angie would mind 281 00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:24,950 if I asked out her pediatrician on a date? 282 00:09:24,986 --> 00:09:26,518 I mean, I just don't want to mess up her chance 283 00:09:26,554 --> 00:09:27,686 to get on the Mist List. 284 00:09:27,722 --> 00:09:29,989 Pfft. If anything, you hooking up with this doctor 285 00:09:30,024 --> 00:09:31,690 is only gonna help Angie's chances. 286 00:09:31,726 --> 00:09:32,725 - My dude. - Yeah. 287 00:09:35,262 --> 00:09:37,863 But no one does dates anymore, a'ight? 288 00:09:37,898 --> 00:09:39,131 Sex comes first. 289 00:09:39,166 --> 00:09:40,532 - Yeah, man. - Yeah. 290 00:09:40,568 --> 00:09:42,181 - I'm ready for that. - I know you're ready for that. 291 00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:43,761 I always knew a day would come I'd have to use my body 292 00:09:43,804 --> 00:09:45,070 as a bargaining chip. 293 00:09:46,140 --> 00:09:47,373 Whoa, mama! 294 00:09:47,408 --> 00:09:49,174 Well, apparently you can use portrait mode 295 00:09:49,210 --> 00:09:50,676 on more than just your face. 296 00:09:52,847 --> 00:09:55,047 Someone had a night to remember. 297 00:09:55,082 --> 00:09:57,316 I have no idea what you're talking about. 298 00:09:57,351 --> 00:10:00,285 Maybe some video will jog your memory. 299 00:10:00,321 --> 00:10:02,721 Kiss Poppy's pretty face... 300 00:10:02,757 --> 00:10:04,490 Kiss pretty face... 301 00:10:04,525 --> 00:10:06,759 That is the ravings of a feverish man. 302 00:10:06,794 --> 00:10:09,028 You're not gonna show that to your mom, are you? 303 00:10:09,063 --> 00:10:10,663 Who's to say what I'll do? 304 00:10:10,698 --> 00:10:12,364 I'm 7. 305 00:10:13,934 --> 00:10:16,168 I'm not gonna be threatened by a first grader. 306 00:10:17,605 --> 00:10:19,138 Emma? Amy? Get in the car. 307 00:10:21,475 --> 00:10:23,008 I don't think they can hear you. 308 00:10:23,044 --> 00:10:24,276 Oh, they can hear me. 309 00:10:24,311 --> 00:10:26,378 It's happening. They saw me weak. 310 00:10:26,414 --> 00:10:29,348 Now it's just a matter of time before they feast on my body. 311 00:10:30,718 --> 00:10:33,819 Oh, hey, guys. Big news. 312 00:10:33,854 --> 00:10:36,588 Tomorrow night, there is a woman coming over to my house, 313 00:10:36,624 --> 00:10:39,925 and I'm pretty sure we're going to make sex. 314 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:42,628 - Ooh! - In-ter-course. In-ter-course. 315 00:10:42,663 --> 00:10:44,163 - Hey, hey, hey, what are you doing? - Finally. 316 00:10:44,198 --> 00:10:47,466 In-ter-course! In-ter-course! 317 00:10:47,501 --> 00:10:48,567 - Hi, Susan. - Come on, honey. 318 00:10:48,602 --> 00:10:50,369 Congratulations. Some woman out there 319 00:10:50,404 --> 00:10:52,104 is gonna have a very mediocre night. 320 00:10:52,139 --> 00:10:53,372 Yeah, she is. 321 00:10:53,407 --> 00:10:55,441 And she's been sending me a bunch of sexages... 322 00:10:55,476 --> 00:10:56,755 - Ooh! - ...and I may have sent her 323 00:10:56,779 --> 00:10:58,559 one or two myself. 324 00:10:58,619 --> 00:10:59,997 - God! - Oh, good God, man. 325 00:11:00,022 --> 00:11:00,926 - Okay. Not cool. - Put your phone away! 326 00:11:00,950 --> 00:11:02,761 That's worse than what I thought you were gonna show us. 327 00:11:02,786 --> 00:11:04,683 - I taught you better than that. - Terrible. 328 00:11:04,719 --> 00:11:06,351 So who's the kind of lucky lady? 329 00:11:06,387 --> 00:11:07,920 I'll give you three hints. 330 00:11:07,955 --> 00:11:09,788 You know her, you respect her, 331 00:11:09,824 --> 00:11:10,923 and it's Dr. Dewan. 332 00:11:10,958 --> 00:11:12,424 It's Dr. Dewan? 333 00:11:12,449 --> 00:11:13,369 No, dude. 334 00:11:13,394 --> 00:11:14,793 Definitely not. No. 335 00:11:14,829 --> 00:11:16,962 What she means is we don't date people who work with our kids. 336 00:11:16,997 --> 00:11:18,630 It just tends to end in disaster. 337 00:11:18,666 --> 00:11:20,799 Maybe we can make an exception for Will. 338 00:11:20,835 --> 00:11:22,434 I mean, he's an adult man, and damn it, 339 00:11:22,470 --> 00:11:25,104 the poor sap deserves to lose his virginity. 340 00:11:25,139 --> 00:11:26,171 Yeah, but the man is wearing 341 00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:28,140 two separate pieces of fleece clothing. 342 00:11:28,175 --> 00:11:29,374 Maybe we bend the rules just this once. 343 00:11:29,410 --> 00:11:30,442 Bend the rules? 344 00:11:30,478 --> 00:11:31,810 Where were you when I wanted to sleep 345 00:11:31,846 --> 00:11:33,045 with the twins' karate sensei? 346 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:35,514 - Master Gary? - Yeah. He was so disciplined. 347 00:11:35,549 --> 00:11:37,583 Will, this is not happening, okay? 348 00:11:37,618 --> 00:11:38,884 I don't want to start all over 349 00:11:38,919 --> 00:11:40,819 on some new doctor's Mist List. 350 00:11:40,855 --> 00:11:42,921 You have to end it, but don't make her angry. 351 00:11:42,957 --> 00:11:45,557 - Understand? - Absolutely. Crystal clear. 352 00:11:45,593 --> 00:11:46,959 Keep her happy, break it off. 353 00:11:46,994 --> 00:11:48,360 No big deal. Simple. 354 00:11:51,232 --> 00:11:52,164 - Oh. Unh-unh. - Ah. 355 00:11:52,199 --> 00:11:53,165 Perfect. You got me sick! 356 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:54,299 I'd ask you to take care of me, 357 00:11:54,335 --> 00:11:56,235 but I assume you have some code against that, too? 358 00:11:56,270 --> 00:11:58,837 You bet your sick ass I do. 359 00:11:58,873 --> 00:12:01,907 But all you'll be getting out of me is a Z-Pak 360 00:12:01,942 --> 00:12:04,243 and the number to my answering service. 361 00:12:04,278 --> 00:12:05,978 - Here you go. - Thanks. 362 00:12:06,013 --> 00:12:07,513 - Why, hello, Douglas. - Hey. 363 00:12:07,548 --> 00:12:10,212 Mom, any interest in some video I shot on my phone last night? 364 00:12:10,237 --> 00:12:11,383 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You know what? 365 00:12:11,418 --> 00:12:12,518 I got a great idea. 366 00:12:12,553 --> 00:12:13,952 Why don't you get to the pharmacy 367 00:12:13,988 --> 00:12:15,387 and I'll make sure Rory gets home? 368 00:12:15,422 --> 00:12:17,289 - Okay. - Girls, car. 369 00:12:17,324 --> 00:12:21,059 Hey, Emily Dickinson! How's your fever? 370 00:12:21,095 --> 00:12:23,195 Why don't you go curl up with a blanket 371 00:12:23,230 --> 00:12:24,696 and write a poem about it? 372 00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:27,800 What'd I tell you? I lost them. 373 00:12:29,703 --> 00:12:31,236 Uh-oh. No. Unh-unh. Bye-bye. 374 00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:32,871 Nice, Douglas. Real nice. 375 00:12:32,907 --> 00:12:33,839 Okay, Broseph. 376 00:12:33,874 --> 00:12:35,240 Brozilla, what's up? 377 00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:37,075 I'm really gonna need your help getting out of this now. 378 00:12:37,111 --> 00:12:38,844 Easy. See, most people in that situation would be like, 379 00:12:38,879 --> 00:12:41,013 "You wanna get rid of a girl? Ghost her." 380 00:12:41,048 --> 00:12:44,950 But I say, nah, become the opposite of a ghost. 381 00:12:44,985 --> 00:12:46,318 Which is a goblin? 382 00:12:46,353 --> 00:12:47,386 A ghoul? 383 00:12:47,421 --> 00:12:49,688 N-No, the opposite of a ghost is a mailman. 384 00:12:49,723 --> 00:12:51,089 - Oh. - You gotta mailman that chick, bro. 385 00:12:51,125 --> 00:12:52,491 How do you mailman someone? 386 00:12:52,526 --> 00:12:53,759 Man... Okay, look. 387 00:12:53,794 --> 00:12:56,929 You show up, totally unannounced, at their house. 388 00:12:56,964 --> 00:12:58,096 Puh! 389 00:12:58,132 --> 00:13:00,399 Oh. Yeah, okay. That sounds like a mailman. 390 00:13:00,434 --> 00:13:01,667 Word. 391 00:13:01,702 --> 00:13:03,135 Have you said anything? 392 00:13:03,170 --> 00:13:06,905 Not yet, but you know how hard it is to keep a secret, 393 00:13:06,941 --> 00:13:09,474 and I'm starting to think that this is a juicy one. 394 00:13:09,510 --> 00:13:10,642 What do you want from me? 395 00:13:10,678 --> 00:13:13,779 I think you know what I want. 396 00:13:13,814 --> 00:13:14,780 To go shopping? 397 00:13:14,815 --> 00:13:16,215 You just made a huge assumption 398 00:13:16,250 --> 00:13:17,382 about who I am as a person. 399 00:13:17,418 --> 00:13:19,518 And you were right on. 400 00:13:19,553 --> 00:13:21,386 I won't take you shopping. 401 00:13:21,422 --> 00:13:22,387 Yes, you will. 402 00:13:25,159 --> 00:13:27,025 To the mall. Chop-chop. 403 00:13:32,499 --> 00:13:33,699 I got to say, 404 00:13:33,734 --> 00:13:35,968 mailmanning feels a little bit like stalking. 405 00:13:36,003 --> 00:13:38,103 Exactly. It'll freak her ass out, 406 00:13:38,138 --> 00:13:39,238 and she won't be into you anymore. 407 00:13:39,273 --> 00:13:41,740 Wow. Feels kind of thrilling, you know? 408 00:13:41,775 --> 00:13:43,008 - Word. - You're sure it's gonna work? 409 00:13:43,043 --> 00:13:45,911 Man, I've never been more sure of anything in my life. 410 00:13:50,084 --> 00:13:51,383 What are you doing here? 411 00:13:51,418 --> 00:13:54,086 Oh, you know, just, uh, dropping by unannounced 412 00:13:54,121 --> 00:13:55,554 at your personal residence. 413 00:13:55,589 --> 00:13:57,756 Off-putting, right? Well, that's just me. 414 00:13:57,791 --> 00:14:00,926 Red Flag City, population... one lunatic. 415 00:14:00,961 --> 00:14:02,628 Ding, dong. 416 00:14:02,663 --> 00:14:03,795 It's the mailman. 417 00:14:03,831 --> 00:14:05,731 - The mailman? - Mm-hmm. 418 00:14:06,781 --> 00:14:07,873 I like that. 419 00:14:09,270 --> 00:14:11,536 I gotta know what's in your bag. 420 00:14:14,241 --> 00:14:17,209 Coupons mostly, a couple of real-estate mailers. 421 00:14:17,244 --> 00:14:19,378 This bag's property of the United States Postal Service, 422 00:14:19,413 --> 00:14:21,079 and tampering with it is a federal offense. 423 00:14:21,115 --> 00:14:22,581 And also, I don't actually have a mail bag. 424 00:14:22,616 --> 00:14:23,749 And also, I'm not a mailman. 425 00:14:23,784 --> 00:14:24,950 See, the whole reason that I did this thing... 426 00:14:29,726 --> 00:14:31,570 Yep, I can verify that purchase. 427 00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:34,867 It was, uh, nine pairs of children's Italian loafers. 428 00:14:34,912 --> 00:14:38,805 Th-Th-That's right, and $219 at the robe store. 429 00:14:38,876 --> 00:14:40,993 What? Hold on. Did you sneak away 430 00:14:41,041 --> 00:14:42,908 and buy an espresso machine? 431 00:14:42,935 --> 00:14:43,944 It's being delivered. 432 00:14:43,969 --> 00:14:45,369 Yeah, that was us, too. 433 00:14:45,419 --> 00:14:48,046 Well, that was the second call from my credit card company. 434 00:14:48,085 --> 00:14:49,178 Are you satisfied? 435 00:14:49,203 --> 00:14:51,704 Honestly, I don't know if I'll ever be satisfied. 436 00:14:51,739 --> 00:14:53,806 Guess the only way to find out is to keep shopping. 437 00:14:53,841 --> 00:14:55,574 Tell you what. You want my watch? Take my watch. 438 00:14:55,610 --> 00:14:56,809 My grandfather gave this to me 439 00:14:56,844 --> 00:14:58,444 when I graduated from medical school, 440 00:14:58,479 --> 00:15:00,813 but I can't handle you trying on another tunic. 441 00:15:00,848 --> 00:15:02,181 Wait. 442 00:15:03,584 --> 00:15:06,585 You're going to actually give me your grandfather's watch? 443 00:15:06,986 --> 00:15:10,022 Why would you do that unless... 444 00:15:10,057 --> 00:15:11,724 No. No, there's... there's no reason. 445 00:15:11,759 --> 00:15:14,460 I'm just trying to avoid an embarrassing situation. 446 00:15:14,495 --> 00:15:15,734 You know what I think, Douglas? 447 00:15:15,759 --> 00:15:17,429 I think that you actually like my mom 448 00:15:17,465 --> 00:15:19,398 and you're scared she'll find out. 449 00:15:19,433 --> 00:15:20,758 Tell me I'm wrong. 450 00:15:22,136 --> 00:15:23,469 You just hesitated. 451 00:15:23,504 --> 00:15:24,570 N-No, I was swallowing. 452 00:15:24,605 --> 00:15:26,071 Ladies and gentlemen, we have a hesitation! 453 00:15:26,107 --> 00:15:27,473 - Can a man even swallow? - We have a hesitation! 454 00:15:27,508 --> 00:15:28,880 - No going back! - I was swallowing. 455 00:15:28,919 --> 00:15:30,576 J-J... Take the watch. 456 00:15:30,611 --> 00:15:32,578 I don't want that tacky thing. 457 00:15:32,613 --> 00:15:34,880 Just show her you care. 458 00:15:35,741 --> 00:15:38,046 And let's take one last lap for tunics. 459 00:15:38,101 --> 00:15:39,385 I don't think we've found the one yet. 460 00:15:45,893 --> 00:15:47,760 Oh! 461 00:15:52,099 --> 00:15:53,399 Mailmanning did not work. 462 00:15:53,434 --> 00:15:54,934 Yeah, I noticed that. 463 00:15:54,969 --> 00:15:57,803 Oh, man. How did I not know about casual sex before this? 464 00:15:57,839 --> 00:15:58,771 It's amazing! 465 00:15:58,806 --> 00:15:59,805 We, like, got all naked. 466 00:15:59,841 --> 00:16:00,973 She doesn't even know my middle name. 467 00:16:01,008 --> 00:16:02,274 Ooh! 468 00:16:03,544 --> 00:16:05,377 Oh, no. 469 00:16:05,413 --> 00:16:06,345 Angie! 470 00:16:06,380 --> 00:16:07,680 - Hey. - Always a treat. 471 00:16:07,715 --> 00:16:10,482 I thought I'd just see how it went with Dr. Dewan. 472 00:16:10,518 --> 00:16:11,984 Your breathing sounds normal, 473 00:16:12,019 --> 00:16:13,519 so I guess she didn't crush your windpipe. 474 00:16:13,554 --> 00:16:15,321 That's funny. 475 00:16:15,356 --> 00:16:17,690 You know, I was actually just telling Miggy how well it went. 476 00:16:17,725 --> 00:16:19,558 I think you'd be very surprised 477 00:16:19,594 --> 00:16:22,161 with how Dr. Dewan handled the situation. 478 00:16:22,196 --> 00:16:23,462 - I was. - Thank God. 479 00:16:23,497 --> 00:16:25,164 I know how she can take bad news. 480 00:16:25,199 --> 00:16:26,031 Okay, talk soon. 481 00:16:26,067 --> 00:16:27,032 Bye! 482 00:16:28,469 --> 00:16:31,337 Private lessons? 483 00:16:31,372 --> 00:16:33,272 Master Gary... 484 00:16:33,307 --> 00:16:34,573 This is a disaster. 485 00:16:34,609 --> 00:16:36,709 I promised Angie I'd end it, and now... 486 00:16:36,744 --> 00:16:38,544 Can I be honest? Will to Miggy? 487 00:16:38,579 --> 00:16:40,279 - Mm-hmm. - I don't want to! 488 00:16:40,314 --> 00:16:41,914 Thank God I have you. Tell me how to fix this. 489 00:16:41,949 --> 00:16:43,449 I know I'm in good hands. 490 00:16:43,484 --> 00:16:46,452 Yeah! So, uh... you just... uh... 491 00:16:46,487 --> 00:16:48,120 So, typically at this point... 492 00:16:48,155 --> 00:16:50,489 - Okay. - ...you... uh... 493 00:16:50,524 --> 00:16:52,091 Tell me. 494 00:16:52,126 --> 00:16:53,893 I made it up, man. All of it. 495 00:16:53,928 --> 00:16:55,261 I have no idea what I'm talking about. 496 00:16:55,296 --> 00:16:57,830 - What? Why would you do that? - I don't know. 497 00:16:57,865 --> 00:16:59,528 I just liked that someone thought 498 00:16:59,559 --> 00:17:00,807 I was an expert on something. 499 00:17:00,832 --> 00:17:02,534 I mean, who knew just texting "lettuce" would work? 500 00:17:02,570 --> 00:17:03,569 Ho'd up. 501 00:17:03,604 --> 00:17:04,937 Haven't you been with a bunch of ladies? 502 00:17:04,972 --> 00:17:06,939 Two, technically three? 503 00:17:06,974 --> 00:17:08,674 But it was in high school, man, 504 00:17:08,709 --> 00:17:10,509 and all I had to do was just walk over and be like, 505 00:17:10,544 --> 00:17:13,245 "Yo, you wanna see me throw this fish tank off the roof?" 506 00:17:14,348 --> 00:17:16,048 Then I hooked up with my best friend 507 00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:17,516 and she got knocked up by accident. 508 00:17:17,551 --> 00:17:20,085 But can I be honest with you, Miggy to Will? 509 00:17:20,121 --> 00:17:21,820 Of course. Miggy to Will. 510 00:17:21,856 --> 00:17:25,224 Maybe it's dumb, but I'm still sort of 511 00:17:25,259 --> 00:17:26,725 holding out hope for Jack's mom, 512 00:17:26,761 --> 00:17:28,994 which has made meeting other girls tough. 513 00:17:29,030 --> 00:17:31,196 Every time I go to download a dating app, 514 00:17:31,232 --> 00:17:33,799 I spend five hours just looking at Zara's Instagram. 515 00:17:33,834 --> 00:17:36,702 That is just... so beautiful. 516 00:17:36,737 --> 00:17:37,670 Thanks. 517 00:17:37,705 --> 00:17:40,105 And also, I'm seething with rage. 518 00:17:40,141 --> 00:17:42,074 It was creative, though... "mailmanning"? 519 00:17:42,109 --> 00:17:43,976 Better than my first idea. 520 00:17:44,011 --> 00:17:45,311 Lady-bugging. 521 00:17:45,346 --> 00:17:47,046 That's where you just land on her shoulder. 522 00:17:47,982 --> 00:17:49,281 What are you gonna do now, man? 523 00:17:55,022 --> 00:17:56,288 Poppy? 524 00:17:57,925 --> 00:17:59,725 I can't see. Are you here? 525 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:02,227 Are you sure you want to see me like this? 526 00:18:02,263 --> 00:18:04,830 I'll take my chances. 527 00:18:04,865 --> 00:18:06,231 Okay. 528 00:18:08,069 --> 00:18:09,601 Pardon me, Ms. Diana Ross. 529 00:18:09,637 --> 00:18:11,270 I'm looking for my friend Poppy. 530 00:18:15,343 --> 00:18:17,109 What made you change your mind? 531 00:18:17,144 --> 00:18:19,411 Well... 532 00:18:19,447 --> 00:18:21,113 How lucid are you right now? 533 00:18:21,148 --> 00:18:22,281 Eh. 534 00:18:23,918 --> 00:18:25,184 I, uh... 535 00:18:27,521 --> 00:18:30,823 I've always had a hard time with weakness. 536 00:18:30,858 --> 00:18:33,392 My father had 11 kills in France, 537 00:18:33,427 --> 00:18:35,361 and now it's 2018, 538 00:18:35,396 --> 00:18:37,696 and I'm supposed to let a woman 539 00:18:37,732 --> 00:18:40,099 peel me off the floor of a pharmacy. 540 00:18:40,134 --> 00:18:43,435 Where the hell's the dignity in that, right? 541 00:18:43,471 --> 00:18:47,172 Plus, your son tried to blackmail me 542 00:18:47,208 --> 00:18:51,094 because he knows that I think he has a pretty mom. 543 00:18:53,325 --> 00:18:55,748 Oh, thank God. Okay. 544 00:19:07,711 --> 00:19:08,694 Hey. 545 00:19:08,729 --> 00:19:10,781 I know you're not expecting me. 546 00:19:10,812 --> 00:19:12,364 Honestly not trying to mailman you. 547 00:19:12,392 --> 00:19:14,125 - So it is a thing. - Just hear me out. 548 00:19:14,168 --> 00:19:15,901 It means a lot 549 00:19:15,936 --> 00:19:17,936 that you're willing to give up Dr. Dewan for me. 550 00:19:17,972 --> 00:19:20,339 But I thought about it, and... 551 00:19:20,374 --> 00:19:22,207 Oh, God. 552 00:19:22,243 --> 00:19:24,943 I've never met a man who needs to have sex more. 553 00:19:24,979 --> 00:19:26,478 I mean, just look at you. 554 00:19:26,514 --> 00:19:28,147 Where do you even find a T-shirt 555 00:19:28,182 --> 00:19:31,216 with sleeves that big and billowy? 556 00:19:32,286 --> 00:19:35,154 So, if you like her, 557 00:19:35,189 --> 00:19:36,188 go for it. 558 00:19:37,391 --> 00:19:38,724 Hello, Angela. 559 00:19:40,161 --> 00:19:42,313 Oh. So you didn't give her up? 560 00:19:42,338 --> 00:19:43,914 - You just said it was okay. - No, it is not okay. 561 00:19:43,955 --> 00:19:45,516 Well, I went to her house and I tried to break it off with her. 562 00:19:45,541 --> 00:19:47,260 - Obviously. I'm just trying to be nice. - She's a spitfire. 563 00:19:47,284 --> 00:19:48,219 It's not okay. 564 00:19:48,244 --> 00:19:49,535 - Angela. - Dr. Dewan. 565 00:19:49,570 --> 00:19:51,837 We just had an opening on the Mist List. 566 00:19:51,872 --> 00:19:54,838 Do you want to come in tomorrow, say around 3:00? 567 00:19:54,863 --> 00:19:55,707 I... 568 00:19:59,313 --> 00:20:00,446 Yes, that would be great. 569 00:20:00,481 --> 00:20:01,647 Okay. 570 00:20:01,682 --> 00:20:04,049 So everything worked out. 571 00:20:05,486 --> 00:20:07,753 Hmm. Looks like I'm gonna have to floss tonight. 572 00:20:09,156 --> 00:20:11,177 - Ew. - Show yourself out? 573 00:20:12,201 --> 00:20:14,255 We're home, Bernie Sanders. 574 00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:15,849 Yeah, Mr. Free College. 575 00:20:15,904 --> 00:20:18,964 There better be a snack on the table. 576 00:20:19,020 --> 00:20:20,719 Dad? 577 00:20:21,176 --> 00:20:22,943 Dad, are you here? 578 00:20:24,179 --> 00:20:27,319 "Ladies, I've gone to the woods to die. 579 00:20:27,366 --> 00:20:29,632 Don't bother looking for me." 580 00:20:29,668 --> 00:20:31,968 "I'm sure raccoons and other hungry vermin 581 00:20:32,004 --> 00:20:33,803 have torn apart my body by now 582 00:20:33,839 --> 00:20:36,539 and that's not how your old man wants to be remembered. 583 00:20:36,575 --> 00:20:38,375 Anyway, you'll be fine. 584 00:20:38,410 --> 00:20:40,643 You're strong enough to raise yourselves. 585 00:20:40,679 --> 00:20:42,012 There's bologna in the fridge. 586 00:20:42,047 --> 00:20:43,046 Goodbye." 587 00:20:45,083 --> 00:20:46,316 Daddy's gone? 588 00:20:46,351 --> 00:20:47,717 But we're just kids! 589 00:20:47,753 --> 00:20:50,020 Aah! 590 00:20:50,055 --> 00:20:51,488 Who's weak now? 591 00:20:51,534 --> 00:20:54,368 Damn it. Girls, get the wet vac! 592 00:20:54,393 --> 00:20:56,092 - Getting it! - On the double! 593 00:20:58,063 --> 00:21:03,063 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com