1
00:00:00,391 --> 00:00:02,476
This is exciting!
2
00:00:02,547 --> 00:00:04,578
First practice of the season
for the Gators!
3
00:00:04,648 --> 00:00:07,757
L.A. youth soccer's
premier team... for fun!
4
00:00:07,828 --> 00:00:08,930
I know I'm excited.
5
00:00:08,963 --> 00:00:10,063
By the look of it,
6
00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:13,174
you guys are a version of excited, too.
7
00:00:13,199 --> 00:00:15,101
Now, I know we didn't have
the most wins last season.
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00:00:15,135 --> 00:00:16,270
- We had zero.
- That is true.
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00:00:16,303 --> 00:00:18,977
That is accurate, it's an actual number,
we had zero wins.
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00:00:19,002 --> 00:00:21,083
But guess what? I don't care.
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00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:22,904
'Cause I'm all about having fun
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00:00:22,929 --> 00:00:25,046
and celebrating the kinetic
energy of life, right?
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So I want you to get up,
get on that field,
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00:00:27,414 --> 00:00:30,310
and, guys, just be kind
to yourselves, okay?
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"No pressure" on three.
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00:00:31,380 --> 00:00:32,583
One, two, three!
17
00:00:32,608 --> 00:00:34,107
- No pressure!
- No pressure.
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00:00:34,132 --> 00:00:35,655
All right, let's get up
and kick the ball around, okay?
19
00:00:35,688 --> 00:00:36,656
- Okay.
- Okay.
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Dad, come on.
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What's with the entire
22
00:00:40,194 --> 00:00:41,829
"winning doesn't matter" thing?
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00:00:41,862 --> 00:00:43,331
You can't possibly believe that.
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00:00:43,363 --> 00:00:44,597
Uh, get to know me.
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00:00:44,630 --> 00:00:46,399
Will Cooper, your biological
and day-to-day father.
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00:00:46,432 --> 00:00:48,335
I don't give a beaver's dam
about winning.
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00:00:48,368 --> 00:00:50,470
All I care about is fun, sportsmanship,
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00:00:50,503 --> 00:00:51,860
and making memories with my daughter
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I can use at my speech
at her wedding, all right?
30
00:00:53,774 --> 00:00:55,442
Now come on,
hit me with that Gator shake.
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00:01:01,215 --> 00:01:03,284
In case you were wondering,
that moment did not go well.
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00:01:03,317 --> 00:01:04,353
Rory! Poppy!
33
00:01:04,378 --> 00:01:05,961
Did you come to cheer us on
to start off the season?
34
00:01:05,986 --> 00:01:08,728
No. Does anyone come to cheer
the team on at practice?
35
00:01:08,784 --> 00:01:10,420
We do have our die-hards.
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Let the games begin.
37
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Oh.
38
00:01:15,292 --> 00:01:17,159
Hey, Ror, will you give
me and Will a minute?
39
00:01:17,192 --> 00:01:19,161
Sure. I'll go grab a drink and a nibble.
40
00:01:19,195 --> 00:01:21,732
Will, where is the café?
41
00:01:21,764 --> 00:01:23,499
Uh, this is a soccer field.
42
00:01:23,533 --> 00:01:26,069
Cute how you think
that means something to me.
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00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,256
Hey, I was wondering,
44
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is there any room on the team for Rory?
45
00:01:31,073 --> 00:01:32,075
Rory?
46
00:01:32,108 --> 00:01:34,778
- Does he do... sports?
- Oh, never.
47
00:01:34,811 --> 00:01:36,779
But I think being on a team
will be good for him.
48
00:01:36,813 --> 00:01:38,014
Now that he's class president,
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00:01:38,048 --> 00:01:39,917
he's become too self-involved.
50
00:01:39,950 --> 00:01:42,686
Last week, he had
a self-portrait commissioned.
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00:01:42,719 --> 00:01:44,554
- I gotta balance that out.
- Okay.
52
00:01:44,587 --> 00:01:46,757
Well, all I ask is
that he care a little.
53
00:01:46,790 --> 00:01:49,258
I mean, team morale is kinda low.
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00:01:51,094 --> 00:01:54,031
We... suck.
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00:01:54,064 --> 00:01:56,489
So, is that a yes? He's on the team?
56
00:01:56,514 --> 00:01:57,642
I need him to be on the team.
57
00:01:57,667 --> 00:02:00,070
- Yes, he's on the team.
- Oh, thank you!
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00:02:00,102 --> 00:02:01,116
And by the way,
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00:02:01,171 --> 00:02:02,346
don't feel like you have to
play him right away.
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He's literally never
kicked a ball in his life.
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Ew!
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Get that thing away from me!
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Did I just do a soccer?
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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02x05 - Sport
Original air date October 23, 2019
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Hello, Angie.
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I'll kill you!
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Sorry... reflex. Hi.
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You like living in my sauna?
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Like it?
71
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Graham and I love it.
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Our pores are so open,
I'm afraid our souls will escape.
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Enough of the small talk.
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I'm here as your landlord
to, uh, report an incident.
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How was your day?
76
00:02:48,018 --> 00:02:50,420
So, Graham asked you how your day was.
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How is that an incident?
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I'm an American man!
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I go into the world
and I suffer through my day
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with the understanding
that when I return at home,
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00:03:00,863 --> 00:03:04,533
my suffering is going to be
rewarded in three ways...
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00:03:04,566 --> 00:03:05,534
a Scotch,
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00:03:05,567 --> 00:03:07,004
a "JAG" rerun
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00:03:07,036 --> 00:03:08,637
that I haven't seen in a while,
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00:03:08,671 --> 00:03:10,440
and silence.
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That ship's sailed, buddy.
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00:03:12,174 --> 00:03:14,111
You took us in in our time of need.
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Graham is basically your shelter dog.
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00:03:15,577 --> 00:03:16,645
Yeah, well, you know what?
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00:03:16,678 --> 00:03:18,481
I don't want a shelter dog.
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00:03:18,514 --> 00:03:20,149
No one really does.
92
00:03:20,183 --> 00:03:21,885
But now you got one.
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00:03:21,917 --> 00:03:23,153
And he's gonna follow you around,
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00:03:23,185 --> 00:03:24,487
talk to you.
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00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:25,522
You have kids.
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00:03:25,554 --> 00:03:26,822
Don't they talk to you?
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00:03:26,856 --> 00:03:28,158
We live by a shared code
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00:03:28,190 --> 00:03:30,626
of mutual disinterest
in each other's lives.
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00:03:30,660 --> 00:03:32,362
That's weird, man.
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00:03:32,394 --> 00:03:34,363
But this is Graham. He's sweet.
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00:03:34,397 --> 00:03:37,501
He's like if a cinnamon bun
wanted to give you a hug.
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00:03:37,534 --> 00:03:39,502
He just wants to be close to you.
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00:03:39,535 --> 00:03:40,569
See it as a nice thing.
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00:03:40,602 --> 00:03:41,838
Nah.
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If you want to keep living here,
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you're gonna have to tell him
to give me my personal space.
107
00:03:46,442 --> 00:03:47,807
And while you're at it, let him know
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00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:49,579
to keep his hands off my Raisinets.
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00:03:49,612 --> 00:03:51,415
Those are my "JAG" snacks.
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00:03:51,447 --> 00:03:53,649
I... I... I'm sorry.
111
00:03:53,683 --> 00:03:55,251
I'll definitely talk to him.
112
00:04:00,190 --> 00:04:02,726
Keep buyin' 'em if you want, old man.
113
00:04:02,758 --> 00:04:04,594
I'll just steal 'em again.
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00:04:07,262 --> 00:04:08,564
Dad, check it out!
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00:04:08,597 --> 00:04:10,767
♪ You're so bad, we're so good ♪
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00:04:10,799 --> 00:04:13,269
♪ Welcome to the Gator-hood ♪
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Oh, my God, I just got a thumbs up.
118
00:04:19,074 --> 00:04:20,944
That's like the universal symbol
for "I love you, Daddy.
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00:04:20,977 --> 00:04:22,578
Because of you, I'm confident enough
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00:04:22,612 --> 00:04:23,842
- to never date a bad man."
- Ugh.
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00:04:23,867 --> 00:04:24,947
It's all because of Rory.
122
00:04:24,980 --> 00:04:27,350
Well, who knew he'd be
so good at sports?
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00:04:27,383 --> 00:04:29,186
I mean, he still calls
basketball "the orange one."
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Now look at him.
125
00:04:31,054 --> 00:04:32,756
Gosh, he's doing the Gator chant.
126
00:04:32,788 --> 00:04:34,590
Ooh! He's a team player.
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00:04:34,624 --> 00:04:35,624
My plan is working.
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00:04:35,658 --> 00:04:36,741
I mean, because of him,
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00:04:36,766 --> 00:04:38,033
we actually have a fighting chance
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00:04:38,058 --> 00:04:39,395
- at the tournament this weekend.
- Mm-hmm.
131
00:04:39,429 --> 00:04:40,597
Uh, which reminds me,
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00:04:40,629 --> 00:04:42,364
I need a copy of
Rory's birth certificate.
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00:04:42,398 --> 00:04:44,568
Birth certificate?
For a kids' soccer league?
134
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:45,601
Yeah, just to prove his age.
135
00:04:45,634 --> 00:04:46,769
'Cause it's a 9-and-under league.
136
00:04:46,802 --> 00:04:48,571
Oh. Well, you know Rory.
137
00:04:48,605 --> 00:04:50,239
He's 9. We good?
138
00:04:50,273 --> 00:04:51,575
No, actually.
139
00:04:51,607 --> 00:04:53,209
League policy.
140
00:04:53,242 --> 00:04:54,944
If I don't have a copy
of his birth certificate,
141
00:04:54,977 --> 00:04:55,946
Rory can't play.
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00:04:55,979 --> 00:04:57,447
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
143
00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,083
Well, I mean, if you must know,
144
00:05:00,116 --> 00:05:04,154
that document has been lost
in a... a mudslide.
145
00:05:04,186 --> 00:05:05,621
- You were in a mudslide?
- Mm-hmm.
146
00:05:05,655 --> 00:05:06,790
Or was it a hurricane?
147
00:05:06,823 --> 00:05:07,958
Hurricane... Edith.
148
00:05:07,991 --> 00:05:09,754
Yes. I'm surprised
you don't remember, Will.
149
00:05:09,779 --> 00:05:11,795
You're a weatherman. Shame on you.
150
00:05:11,828 --> 00:05:13,797
So, you lost Rory's birth certificate
151
00:05:13,830 --> 00:05:16,633
in a hurricane that
hit Louisiana in 1971?
152
00:05:17,738 --> 00:05:20,971
Come at a weatherman, you best not miss.
153
00:05:21,004 --> 00:05:23,640
Stay... tuned... for... traffic.
154
00:05:23,672 --> 00:05:26,976
Okay, it was a fire, and the, um...
155
00:05:27,009 --> 00:05:28,845
Poppy, what's going on?
156
00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:33,150
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
157
00:05:33,182 --> 00:05:35,785
Rory isn't 9. He's 10.
158
00:05:35,818 --> 00:05:38,255
- No, he's not.
- Yes, he is.
159
00:05:38,287 --> 00:05:40,189
Wait, so the Ryan Murphy-themed
birthday party
160
00:05:40,222 --> 00:05:41,998
for a 9-year-old I went to
161
00:05:42,023 --> 00:05:44,028
was actually a Ryan Murphy-themed
birthday party for a...
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00:05:44,067 --> 00:05:45,629
A 10-year-old, yeah.
163
00:05:45,662 --> 00:05:46,963
'Cause he wasn't turning 9,
he was actually turning...
164
00:05:46,996 --> 00:05:48,798
10. 10.
165
00:05:48,831 --> 00:05:50,333
Oh, my God. Rory's 10?
166
00:05:50,366 --> 00:05:51,968
He's 10. And he doesn't know.
167
00:05:52,001 --> 00:05:53,537
He doesn't know his real age.
168
00:05:53,569 --> 00:05:56,372
Okay. Okay.
169
00:05:56,405 --> 00:05:58,208
Okay. Okay.
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00:05:58,241 --> 00:05:59,142
It's not okay.
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No.
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00:06:01,744 --> 00:06:04,147
Hey. What are you doing?
173
00:06:04,179 --> 00:06:05,381
Waiting by the door.
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00:06:05,415 --> 00:06:06,448
For what?
175
00:06:06,482 --> 00:06:07,650
When Douglas comes home,
176
00:06:07,684 --> 00:06:09,819
I thought maybe we'd hang.
177
00:06:09,852 --> 00:06:12,689
Throw back some root beer,
play some Twister...
178
00:06:12,722 --> 00:06:14,391
see where the night takes us.
179
00:06:14,424 --> 00:06:16,393
You know, as much as
I'd pay to see that,
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00:06:16,425 --> 00:06:17,660
we should talk.
181
00:06:19,162 --> 00:06:20,630
Buddy...
182
00:06:20,662 --> 00:06:22,665
I think you need
to give Douglas some space.
183
00:06:22,698 --> 00:06:25,501
- Why?
- Because he's not normal.
184
00:06:25,535 --> 00:06:27,337
And he's from a generation
185
00:06:27,369 --> 00:06:29,905
where it was okay to give
your children to firefighters.
186
00:06:29,939 --> 00:06:32,809
But, you know, we're his guests,
and if we want to stay here,
187
00:06:32,842 --> 00:06:35,011
we have to respect
his particular way of living.
188
00:06:35,044 --> 00:06:37,881
But I care about Douglas.
189
00:06:37,913 --> 00:06:39,915
How am I supposed
to pretend that I don't?
190
00:06:41,951 --> 00:06:44,321
Oh, great. People.
191
00:06:44,354 --> 00:06:46,223
Doug... las.
192
00:06:47,422 --> 00:06:48,691
Evenin'.
193
00:06:48,725 --> 00:06:50,794
And to you.
194
00:06:51,727 --> 00:06:52,995
Did I do good, Mom?
195
00:06:53,028 --> 00:06:54,096
Was I coldhearted enough?
196
00:06:54,129 --> 00:06:55,698
Oh, buddy. You were great.
197
00:06:55,732 --> 00:06:57,734
But I have so many questions.
198
00:06:57,766 --> 00:06:59,201
He had a soup stain on his shirt.
199
00:06:59,234 --> 00:07:00,537
How did it get there?
200
00:07:00,569 --> 00:07:03,939
Was it a "cream of," and if so, of what?
201
00:07:03,972 --> 00:07:06,576
My guess is he was eating soup
while wearing a shirt.
202
00:07:06,609 --> 00:07:08,578
End of story.
203
00:07:08,610 --> 00:07:11,280
So, I'm just supposed
to leave him alone?
204
00:07:11,314 --> 00:07:12,349
Show no interest?
205
00:07:12,381 --> 00:07:13,682
Pretty much.
206
00:07:13,715 --> 00:07:16,186
Well, today I've learned
a valuable lesson...
207
00:07:16,218 --> 00:07:18,588
if you care about someone,
keep it to yourself.
208
00:07:18,621 --> 00:07:21,758
Mom... how do I learn to be
dead inside like you?
209
00:07:21,790 --> 00:07:23,225
Buddy...
210
00:07:23,258 --> 00:07:24,494
Uh...
211
00:07:26,662 --> 00:07:28,364
I'll tell you one day.
212
00:07:28,398 --> 00:07:29,698
But not today, okay?
213
00:07:29,732 --> 00:07:31,201
Forget what I said.
214
00:07:31,234 --> 00:07:33,036
You just... don't change who you are.
215
00:07:33,069 --> 00:07:34,604
Be yourself,
216
00:07:34,636 --> 00:07:36,805
even if that means annoying
the crap out of Douglas.
217
00:07:36,838 --> 00:07:38,592
- You mean it, Mom?
- Yes.
218
00:07:38,617 --> 00:07:39,576
Oh!
219
00:07:39,609 --> 00:07:42,579
That giant'll just have to deal with it.
220
00:07:42,612 --> 00:07:44,547
He's not the only giant in the house.
221
00:07:44,580 --> 00:07:46,116
I'm feeling 10 feet tall.
222
00:07:46,148 --> 00:07:47,583
Douglas!
223
00:07:47,617 --> 00:07:49,518
Douglas, where are you?!
224
00:07:51,754 --> 00:07:54,758
Well, we had a good run.
225
00:07:54,790 --> 00:07:58,227
I'll miss you, rich guy's house.
226
00:07:58,261 --> 00:07:59,261
I can't believe it.
227
00:07:59,295 --> 00:08:00,929
Rory is 10?!
228
00:08:00,963 --> 00:08:02,564
Okay, okay, keep your voice
down, all right?
229
00:08:02,597 --> 00:08:05,501
Nobody knows this except, well, me, Ron,
230
00:08:05,535 --> 00:08:06,770
our pediatrician, and Miggy.
231
00:08:06,802 --> 00:08:08,504
- Miggy knows?
- Yeah.
232
00:08:08,537 --> 00:08:10,739
You know we like to share
secrets through the vent.
233
00:08:10,773 --> 00:08:12,809
Okay, I'll say it...
I've never washed my jeans.
234
00:08:12,842 --> 00:08:14,177
Yeah, well, you think that's bad?
235
00:08:14,210 --> 00:08:15,845
Rory doesn't know his real age.
236
00:08:15,878 --> 00:08:17,180
What?
237
00:08:17,213 --> 00:08:19,415
Okay, I'm very jealous of
vent time and want in somehow.
238
00:08:19,448 --> 00:08:21,850
But I... I still don't understand.
239
00:08:21,883 --> 00:08:22,919
I know it's hard to believe,
240
00:08:22,951 --> 00:08:24,586
but Rory was really small for his age.
241
00:08:24,619 --> 00:08:26,855
He just... he fit in better
with the younger kids,
242
00:08:26,888 --> 00:08:29,091
- so I held him back.
- Okay, but why lie about it?
243
00:08:29,124 --> 00:08:30,801
Because I didn't want him
to have the stigma
244
00:08:30,832 --> 00:08:32,028
of being left back.
245
00:08:32,061 --> 00:08:33,612
I mean, I was gonna tell him
down the line,
246
00:08:33,637 --> 00:08:35,465
but now I am in deep.
247
00:08:35,498 --> 00:08:38,167
I mean, this is like when I got bangs.
248
00:08:38,201 --> 00:08:39,134
I've had bangs.
249
00:08:39,167 --> 00:08:40,803
This is nothing like that.
250
00:08:40,836 --> 00:08:43,019
But I'm sorry you've had
to carry this around with you.
251
00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:45,174
- It's a lot.
- Thank you for saying that.
252
00:08:45,207 --> 00:08:47,177
But, as much as I hate to say it,
253
00:08:47,210 --> 00:08:48,677
Rory can't play on the Gators.
254
00:08:48,710 --> 00:08:51,648
You know our team motto...
"We don't cheat."
255
00:08:53,148 --> 00:08:54,817
No, sorry, that's it.
There's no spin or anything.
256
00:08:54,850 --> 00:08:56,518
No, I get it, I get it.
257
00:08:56,552 --> 00:08:58,153
And it just sucks,
258
00:08:58,186 --> 00:09:00,222
especially considering
how being on a winning team
259
00:09:00,255 --> 00:09:01,957
has brought you and Sophie closer.
260
00:09:01,990 --> 00:09:05,227
Yeah, it has, but...
I guess that goes away.
261
00:09:05,260 --> 00:09:07,029
Or does it...?
262
00:09:07,062 --> 00:09:08,664
Poppy?
263
00:09:08,697 --> 00:09:10,799
Look, you and Sophie can have
a whole winning season.
264
00:09:10,832 --> 00:09:11,900
Imagine.
265
00:09:11,933 --> 00:09:13,502
State playoffs in Sacramento.
266
00:09:13,536 --> 00:09:15,305
You and her, sharing a hotel room.
267
00:09:15,337 --> 00:09:17,573
You send her down the hallway
to get ice all by herself
268
00:09:17,606 --> 00:09:18,640
because you trust her.
269
00:09:18,673 --> 00:09:21,006
- She'd feel so empowered.
- Exactly.
270
00:09:21,053 --> 00:09:23,513
And all you have to do
is keep a teeny, tiny secret.
271
00:09:23,546 --> 00:09:26,715
Dad, come see what we did
to the Gator chant!
272
00:09:26,749 --> 00:09:28,551
Rory says he knows a Laker girl
273
00:09:28,584 --> 00:09:30,186
who can dance it out!
274
00:09:30,219 --> 00:09:32,188
So cool! I'll be right there, honey!
275
00:09:32,220 --> 00:09:33,255
All right, I'm in.
276
00:09:34,523 --> 00:09:36,326
Don't look down, Pop-pop.
277
00:09:36,359 --> 00:09:37,994
I'm a bad bitch now.
278
00:09:38,027 --> 00:09:39,763
Ooh! Yes, Lizzo.
279
00:09:49,116 --> 00:09:50,606
All right, game day.
280
00:09:50,639 --> 00:09:51,707
Sophie, how we doing?
281
00:09:51,740 --> 00:09:53,569
We're gonna win!
282
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:55,411
We're gonna get so much ice
in Sacramento!
283
00:09:55,445 --> 00:09:56,579
What?
284
00:09:56,611 --> 00:09:58,681
You'll see.
285
00:10:00,678 --> 00:10:01,846
Poppy, are we really doing this?
286
00:10:01,879 --> 00:10:03,014
Are you cracking?
287
00:10:03,047 --> 00:10:04,783
- Of course I'm cracking!
- Relax, okay?
288
00:10:04,816 --> 00:10:05,850
Will, all you got to do
289
00:10:05,883 --> 00:10:07,285
is keep the secret in your mouth,
290
00:10:07,317 --> 00:10:08,986
and keep your mouth... shut.
291
00:10:09,019 --> 00:10:11,990
We have the makings
of a solid death pact.
292
00:10:17,227 --> 00:10:18,495
Rory! Come on!
293
00:10:26,837 --> 00:10:28,038
Yeah!
294
00:10:34,812 --> 00:10:37,014
Take a load off. I made lunch.
295
00:10:51,162 --> 00:10:52,564
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
296
00:10:52,596 --> 00:10:54,198
The Gators are unstoppable.
297
00:10:54,231 --> 00:10:55,567
Yeah! Uh-huh.
298
00:10:56,601 --> 00:10:58,135
Rory. Rory!
299
00:10:58,168 --> 00:10:59,471
Yeah!
300
00:11:01,773 --> 00:11:03,341
Need a caddy?
301
00:11:03,374 --> 00:11:04,709
Want to hit the green?
302
00:11:06,043 --> 00:11:08,480
Come on! Get 'em!
303
00:11:20,057 --> 00:11:22,060
Goooooo!
304
00:11:24,227 --> 00:11:26,263
Yeah! Yeah!
305
00:11:28,466 --> 00:11:29,667
Yeah!
306
00:11:29,700 --> 00:11:30,902
Aaaah!
307
00:11:33,303 --> 00:11:35,673
Yeeeeah!
308
00:11:35,706 --> 00:11:38,509
Yeaaaah!
309
00:11:40,110 --> 00:11:41,446
Yes! Yes!
310
00:11:41,479 --> 00:11:42,881
- Yeah!
- Whoo!
311
00:11:42,913 --> 00:11:44,249
Yaaah!
312
00:11:44,282 --> 00:11:46,283
The Gators are headed
to the championship.
313
00:11:46,317 --> 00:11:47,786
Yeaaaah!
314
00:11:47,818 --> 00:11:49,687
Hey, Douglas,
315
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:52,038
I've been trying
to figure this thing out,
316
00:11:52,131 --> 00:11:54,591
and it's nothing like tying your shoes.
317
00:11:54,625 --> 00:11:58,061
- You got a minute?
- No, no, I... I don't have a minute.
318
00:11:58,095 --> 00:11:59,635
Okay. I'll come back later.
319
00:11:59,660 --> 00:12:01,099
No, no! No, no.
320
00:12:01,131 --> 00:12:02,332
Don't... Don't... Don't come back.
321
00:12:02,356 --> 00:12:03,514
Come on, what is it with you, kid?
322
00:12:03,547 --> 00:12:04,449
What do you want to hang out
323
00:12:04,481 --> 00:12:06,016
with an old man for, anyway, huh?
324
00:12:06,049 --> 00:12:07,651
Because I care about you.
325
00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:10,054
Let me release you from that obligation.
326
00:12:10,086 --> 00:12:11,456
That is the greatest gift
327
00:12:11,489 --> 00:12:13,358
that one person can give to another.
328
00:12:13,390 --> 00:12:15,360
Just because we live
under the same roof,
329
00:12:15,393 --> 00:12:17,394
we're still in this alone. Okay?
330
00:12:17,427 --> 00:12:18,995
What's "this"?
331
00:12:19,028 --> 00:12:20,063
This.
332
00:12:20,096 --> 00:12:22,232
This! Life!
333
00:12:22,265 --> 00:12:23,567
It's all pointless.
334
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:24,836
You want to know how to get through it?
335
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,903
It's every man for himself!
336
00:12:26,937 --> 00:12:28,004
You better learn that.
337
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:30,240
What's going on?
338
00:12:30,273 --> 00:12:31,842
It's okay, Mom.
339
00:12:31,875 --> 00:12:35,245
I'm gonna go tell Mr. Roar
that nothing matters.
340
00:12:35,278 --> 00:12:36,681
Attaboy.
341
00:12:38,349 --> 00:12:39,584
What is the matter with you?
342
00:12:39,616 --> 00:12:41,518
How can you talk to Graham like that?
343
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:43,754
Look, I've already told you,
I like my space.
344
00:12:43,788 --> 00:12:45,089
I gave you fair warning.
345
00:12:45,121 --> 00:12:46,256
What do you want me to do?
346
00:12:46,289 --> 00:12:47,824
Did you have to yell at him?
347
00:12:47,858 --> 00:12:49,660
Can't you just do what I do...
348
00:12:49,692 --> 00:12:51,095
pretend you have to go to the bathroom
349
00:12:51,128 --> 00:12:52,930
and then hang out in there
for, like, an hour?
350
00:12:52,962 --> 00:12:54,898
Or, radical thought...
351
00:12:54,932 --> 00:12:57,502
give in and spend some time with him.
352
00:12:57,534 --> 00:12:59,669
You're his family.
What does he want from me?
353
00:12:59,702 --> 00:13:03,006
Wild guess, a male role model.
354
00:13:03,039 --> 00:13:06,343
Graham's never lived with a man before.
355
00:13:06,376 --> 00:13:09,212
So maybe he was hoping
to do some guy things,
356
00:13:09,245 --> 00:13:10,715
like call a boat a "she"
357
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:13,064
or go shopping for jeans at Costco,
358
00:13:13,089 --> 00:13:14,886
or whatever the hell you men do!
359
00:13:16,220 --> 00:13:17,388
And by the way,
360
00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:19,590
Graham does think of you as his family.
361
00:13:19,623 --> 00:13:21,792
But apparently you're just our landlord.
362
00:13:21,826 --> 00:13:23,760
And since we're just your tenants,
363
00:13:23,793 --> 00:13:26,230
we may as well live somewhere
that's safer for Graham
364
00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:27,764
and less damp for me.
365
00:13:27,797 --> 00:13:29,734
W...
366
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:31,102
He...
367
00:13:34,805 --> 00:13:36,407
Sonuvabitch. I knew it.
368
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,309
Tony, hide the Whoppers!
369
00:13:39,743 --> 00:13:41,579
Go get 'em, Rory!
370
00:13:41,611 --> 00:13:44,147
Here we go now. Oh!
371
00:13:44,181 --> 00:13:45,148
Yeah, Rory!
372
00:13:45,182 --> 00:13:46,984
Yeah, take 'em! Take 'em! Get 'em!
373
00:13:47,017 --> 00:13:48,319
Oh, no!
374
00:13:48,351 --> 00:13:50,454
Come on, ref, watch this kid's hands!
375
00:13:50,488 --> 00:13:51,722
Playing dirty.
376
00:13:51,754 --> 00:13:53,390
Coach, what is that?
377
00:13:53,423 --> 00:13:55,492
You want to control your players here?
378
00:13:55,525 --> 00:13:56,693
Nice. All right. Rory!
379
00:14:00,697 --> 00:14:01,966
All right, listen up.
380
00:14:01,999 --> 00:14:03,935
I want you to kick that ball
through that kid's chest.
381
00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:05,602
But I thought soccer
wasn't about winning or losing.
382
00:14:09,273 --> 00:14:11,609
He got jokes. He got jokes.
383
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:13,244
- God, we have fun.
- We sure do.
384
00:14:13,277 --> 00:14:14,812
All right, come on.
385
00:14:14,845 --> 00:14:16,980
Hey, Will.
386
00:14:17,014 --> 00:14:18,749
So, we're up 24-0.
387
00:14:18,782 --> 00:14:20,785
Why don't you let someone else
take the penalty kick?
388
00:14:20,817 --> 00:14:22,119
Are you kidding? I want a blowout.
389
00:14:22,152 --> 00:14:24,088
I want a soccer journal
in Brazil writing an article
390
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:25,288
wondering if I went too far.
391
00:14:25,321 --> 00:14:26,823
Rory's gonna kill that kid.
392
00:14:26,856 --> 00:14:29,326
I saw him try to pick
a dandelion earlier,
393
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:30,994
and he couldn't rip it from the ground.
394
00:14:31,028 --> 00:14:33,965
Then he shouldn't be on the field.
395
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:36,167
Rory's my kid, and I want him out.
396
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,268
When he's on this field, he's my kid!
397
00:14:38,302 --> 00:14:39,361
All right, Rory!
398
00:14:39,386 --> 00:14:41,471
Let's send this kid
on an ambulance ride, huh?
399
00:14:41,504 --> 00:14:43,719
Okay, look, that's it. Rory, you're out.
400
00:14:43,744 --> 00:14:45,209
- Poppy, Poppy, you can't be on the field.
- Let's go.
401
00:14:45,241 --> 00:14:46,843
Poppy! Poppy, what are you doing?
402
00:14:46,876 --> 00:14:48,011
We're leaving. Come on.
403
00:14:48,044 --> 00:14:49,813
N-No, no. No way.
404
00:14:49,846 --> 00:14:52,015
There is still whoop-ass
left in this can.
405
00:14:52,048 --> 00:14:53,116
Beat it, Poppy.
406
00:14:53,149 --> 00:14:54,718
- Excuse me?
- Yeah.
407
00:14:54,751 --> 00:14:56,319
It's not my fault I'm the strongest
408
00:14:56,352 --> 00:14:57,487
and best kicker on this team.
409
00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:59,222
They need me. I am special.
410
00:14:59,255 --> 00:15:01,291
You're not special, okay? You're 10.
411
00:15:01,325 --> 00:15:02,193
What?
412
00:15:04,394 --> 00:15:06,730
You're not 9, you're 10,
413
00:15:06,764 --> 00:15:08,331
and you're too old for this league.
414
00:15:13,537 --> 00:15:15,473
Well, this is shocking!
415
00:15:15,505 --> 00:15:16,841
Sophie, get in the car.
416
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:19,844
I did not know about this!
417
00:15:19,876 --> 00:15:21,578
Sophie, I'm serious,
get in the car, okay?
418
00:15:21,611 --> 00:15:23,747
Coach Floyd, did you know about this?
419
00:15:23,781 --> 00:15:26,717
'Cause if you did, you are screwed!
420
00:15:26,749 --> 00:15:27,717
Sophie, run!
421
00:15:34,997 --> 00:15:36,866
Hey, baby, how you doing?
422
00:15:37,343 --> 00:15:39,305
How do you think? I'm 10.
423
00:15:39,379 --> 00:15:41,805
I turned double digits,
and I didn't even know it.
424
00:15:41,860 --> 00:15:43,799
You know how excited I was
for my 10th birthday.
425
00:15:43,831 --> 00:15:46,267
Why else would I be cultivating
nine Rory look-alikes?
426
00:15:46,299 --> 00:15:48,402
Honey, I am so sorry.
427
00:15:48,436 --> 00:15:50,305
Ugh.
428
00:15:50,337 --> 00:15:51,740
God, I wasn't thinking about any of this
429
00:15:51,773 --> 00:15:53,008
that day at the playground.
430
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,476
Was that the day
you decided to ruin my life?
431
00:15:56,778 --> 00:15:58,513
You were just a toddler,
432
00:15:58,546 --> 00:16:01,081
and some kids were
picking on you for being small.
433
00:16:01,115 --> 00:16:02,350
Small?
434
00:16:02,383 --> 00:16:04,352
I am huge!
435
00:16:04,384 --> 00:16:05,787
I got a free coffee at Dunkin'
436
00:16:05,820 --> 00:16:07,088
because they thought that I was a cop!
437
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,189
I know, baby, but you weren't then.
438
00:16:10,658 --> 00:16:12,627
You were itty bitty
439
00:16:12,659 --> 00:16:15,932
with big ol' eyes and a crooked smile.
440
00:16:15,957 --> 00:16:17,635
And some kids were calling you names,
441
00:16:17,660 --> 00:16:18,992
so I stepped in, and I yelled at them
442
00:16:19,026 --> 00:16:20,428
in a way that...
443
00:16:20,460 --> 00:16:21,930
Whoo!
444
00:16:21,963 --> 00:16:23,331
I won't tell you all the details,
445
00:16:23,363 --> 00:16:25,399
but I was escorted
from the playground that day.
446
00:16:25,433 --> 00:16:27,402
Poppy, you animal.
447
00:16:27,435 --> 00:16:29,704
Later, I was talking to your dad,
448
00:16:29,737 --> 00:16:30,839
and I was stressing about
what would happen
449
00:16:30,872 --> 00:16:32,240
when I couldn't be there.
450
00:16:32,272 --> 00:16:34,007
I wanted you to have an edge.
451
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:35,944
You were already dealing with so much...
452
00:16:35,977 --> 00:16:38,279
parents whose marriage
was hanging by a thread,
453
00:16:38,311 --> 00:16:40,948
not to mention just being
a black boy in America.
454
00:16:40,982 --> 00:16:43,251
I had hoped it would make you confident.
455
00:16:43,284 --> 00:16:45,353
Well, it worked.
456
00:16:45,386 --> 00:16:46,755
I love myself.
457
00:16:46,787 --> 00:16:48,722
But all this time,
458
00:16:48,756 --> 00:16:50,592
I thought it was because I was special.
459
00:16:50,624 --> 00:16:53,315
But really, I'm just old.
460
00:16:53,356 --> 00:16:55,120
Hey.
461
00:16:55,145 --> 00:16:57,247
Rory Denzel Banks,
462
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,116
I don't care what age you are,
463
00:16:59,148 --> 00:17:01,517
you are special.
464
00:17:01,550 --> 00:17:05,555
Maybe these days, a little too special.
465
00:17:05,587 --> 00:17:08,024
Getting elected Class President
really went to your head.
466
00:17:08,057 --> 00:17:12,194
All right, I'll tone it back.
467
00:17:12,228 --> 00:17:14,430
But I just don't know
how to face my friends.
468
00:17:14,464 --> 00:17:16,099
They all know, Mom.
469
00:17:16,132 --> 00:17:17,734
It's embarrassing.
470
00:17:17,766 --> 00:17:18,901
I'm sorry, Rory!
471
00:17:18,934 --> 00:17:20,870
We just did what we thought was best!
472
00:17:20,903 --> 00:17:22,939
Miggy, go to sleep!
473
00:17:22,972 --> 00:17:25,141
Is Jack down there?
474
00:17:28,111 --> 00:17:31,547
I just feel like I'm done
with Nicole Kidman.
475
00:17:31,581 --> 00:17:33,216
Surprise!
476
00:17:33,248 --> 00:17:34,750
Happy birthday!
477
00:17:36,151 --> 00:17:37,453
And look who's here.
478
00:17:37,487 --> 00:17:39,422
- My look-alikes!
- Hi!
479
00:17:39,456 --> 00:17:40,483
This is amazing!
480
00:17:40,508 --> 00:17:42,764
- Hi, guys!
- Happy 10th birthday, baby.
481
00:17:42,789 --> 00:17:44,093
Thanks.
482
00:17:45,161 --> 00:17:46,263
- Birthday man!
- Hey, double digits!
483
00:17:46,295 --> 00:17:49,231
- Hey, old man!
- So, you're 10, huh?
484
00:17:49,265 --> 00:17:50,400
Yeah, I guess so.
485
00:17:50,432 --> 00:17:52,602
- Dude, that's so cool.
- Really?
486
00:17:52,634 --> 00:17:54,070
You don't think of me as old?
487
00:17:54,103 --> 00:17:55,671
Like some early morning mall-walker
488
00:17:55,705 --> 00:17:57,074
in pants up to my nips?
489
00:17:57,106 --> 00:17:58,474
What? No!
490
00:17:58,507 --> 00:17:59,742
You're double digits.
491
00:17:59,776 --> 00:18:00,943
That's rad.
492
00:18:00,977 --> 00:18:02,512
Take it easy, Cooper.
493
00:18:02,545 --> 00:18:03,913
He's the same kid,
494
00:18:03,947 --> 00:18:05,515
just a little closer to death.
495
00:18:05,547 --> 00:18:06,976
Sophie, hey.
496
00:18:08,485 --> 00:18:10,920
I just want to apologize to you
497
00:18:10,953 --> 00:18:12,588
for losing my mind earlier.
498
00:18:12,622 --> 00:18:14,658
I guess I just can't handle winning.
499
00:18:14,690 --> 00:18:16,953
Though, in my defense,
I had never done it before.
500
00:18:16,978 --> 00:18:19,336
Well, it was kind of fun
to see you like that.
501
00:18:19,361 --> 00:18:21,131
- Yeah.
- There's only one time where I'd to lie
502
00:18:21,163 --> 00:18:22,365
and pretend you weren't my dad.
503
00:18:22,399 --> 00:18:24,534
That's good.
504
00:18:24,566 --> 00:18:25,835
Well, I definitely loved
505
00:18:25,869 --> 00:18:27,471
spending so much time with you.
506
00:18:27,504 --> 00:18:29,272
And if you're cool with it,
507
00:18:29,305 --> 00:18:30,707
I'd love to keep that going,
508
00:18:30,739 --> 00:18:32,275
even if we never win again.
509
00:18:35,879 --> 00:18:37,981
I knew this whole time
and didn't tell a soul.
510
00:18:38,014 --> 00:18:40,217
I feel like that should be
more of a headline.
511
00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:42,885
I've grown bored of you, Miggy.
512
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:46,189
So...
513
00:18:46,221 --> 00:18:48,057
- You moved out, huh?
- Almost.
514
00:18:48,091 --> 00:18:50,026
All our stuff is still in my car.
515
00:18:50,059 --> 00:18:52,228
And some of your stuff
that I took with us.
516
00:18:52,261 --> 00:18:53,462
All right, look,
enough with the dramatics.
517
00:18:53,496 --> 00:18:54,898
Just move back in.
518
00:18:54,930 --> 00:18:57,034
Are you gonna apologize to Graham?
519
00:18:57,066 --> 00:18:59,969
We Fogertys, we don't do
a lot of apologizing.
520
00:19:00,003 --> 00:19:02,506
We're not a warm people.
521
00:19:02,538 --> 00:19:03,906
I blame Mother.
522
00:19:03,939 --> 00:19:05,641
And the Buffalo winters.
523
00:19:05,674 --> 00:19:07,143
But mostly Mother.
524
00:19:07,177 --> 00:19:08,211
Dreadful woman.
525
00:19:10,913 --> 00:19:13,650
All right, I can try to do better.
526
00:19:13,682 --> 00:19:14,917
Where is he?
527
00:19:20,556 --> 00:19:23,560
Hey, kid. You know, you, uh...
528
00:19:23,593 --> 00:19:25,929
You asked me something
the other day, and I...
529
00:19:25,961 --> 00:19:28,998
Well, I... I really didn't answer.
530
00:19:29,032 --> 00:19:30,434
I'll tell you what, stand up.
531
00:19:31,934 --> 00:19:35,238
Now turn around.
532
00:19:35,270 --> 00:19:36,439
Okay.
533
00:19:36,472 --> 00:19:38,274
Now, here's the key.
534
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,911
You want to make sure that the thick end
535
00:19:40,943 --> 00:19:45,281
is about 5 inches lower
than the thin end.
536
00:19:45,314 --> 00:19:47,284
You wrap it once...
537
00:19:47,316 --> 00:19:48,852
- I gotta know.
- Yeah?
538
00:19:48,884 --> 00:19:51,121
You had soup on your shirt yesterday.
539
00:19:51,153 --> 00:19:52,788
What's the story?
540
00:19:52,822 --> 00:19:54,958
Well, I got a to-go soup at work,
541
00:19:54,990 --> 00:19:56,692
and they didn't put the top on properly,
542
00:19:56,726 --> 00:19:59,595
and it spilled everywhere.
543
00:20:00,630 --> 00:20:01,898
That's a bummer, man.
544
00:20:01,930 --> 00:20:03,766
Yeah, it was.
545
00:20:03,799 --> 00:20:06,769
Ever since they changed over
to those eco-friendly lids,
546
00:20:06,803 --> 00:20:08,805
well, the whole place has gone to hell.
547
00:20:08,837 --> 00:20:10,272
Now, see what I did
with the thicker one?
548
00:20:10,305 --> 00:20:13,075
I put it through the loop that we made,
549
00:20:13,109 --> 00:20:16,746
down in front of the thin end...
550
00:20:19,349 --> 00:20:21,284
And...
551
00:20:21,316 --> 00:20:23,219
Look at that.
552
00:20:23,253 --> 00:20:24,387
Huh?
553
00:20:24,420 --> 00:20:25,921
Look at you.
554
00:20:25,955 --> 00:20:28,458
Look at me.
555
00:20:28,490 --> 00:20:30,759
Thanks, Douglas.
556
00:20:30,793 --> 00:20:32,129
You got it, kid.
557
00:20:32,161 --> 00:20:33,796
God, that's cute.
558
00:20:37,397 --> 00:20:40,143
I'm sorry I tried to use your son
to win back my daughter's love.
559
00:20:40,226 --> 00:20:41,428
I'm sorry, too.
560
00:20:41,525 --> 00:20:43,079
I don't think either one of us
were prepared
561
00:20:43,178 --> 00:20:46,449
for the dark underbelly
of 9-and-under youth soccer.
562
00:20:46,531 --> 00:20:49,667
Well, at least we still have
our die-hards.
563
00:20:49,699 --> 00:20:51,845
Sport!
564
00:20:51,908 --> 00:20:54,111
- You see her too, right?
- Uh-huh.
565
00:20:54,143 --> 00:20:55,378
And she's not the only weirdo.
566
00:20:55,411 --> 00:20:56,779
- I'm still coming to every game.
- Mm.
567
00:20:56,813 --> 00:20:58,949
Gotta come out and support
the assistant coach.
568
00:20:58,981 --> 00:21:02,353
Remember, the name of the game
is teamwork.
569
00:21:02,385 --> 00:21:04,354
Now watch and learn.
570
00:21:06,422 --> 00:21:08,392
Five, six, seven, eight!
571
00:21:08,424 --> 00:21:10,460
♪ You're so bad, we're so good ♪
572
00:21:10,494 --> 00:21:12,363
♪ Welcome to the Gator-hood ♪
573
00:21:12,395 --> 00:21:14,797
- Uh, so, when do they do soccer?
- We don't.
574
00:21:14,831 --> 00:21:16,969
No, we're just basically
an outdoor dance
575
00:21:17,039 --> 00:21:18,736
- troupe in cleats now.
- ♪ Welcome to the Gator-hood! ♪
576
00:21:18,768 --> 00:21:20,136
If you'll excuse me,
577
00:21:20,170 --> 00:21:21,602
I have to be thrown into the air.
578
00:21:21,696 --> 00:21:26,696
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com