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Welcome to Hilltop.
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No! No! Pete can't stay!
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Through Teachers-in-Service Day!
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You know, I don't know who Pete is,
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but I do know
that you're embarrassing him.
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Douglas, our beloved Hilltop parrot
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has to stay alone at school
over the three-day weekend.
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It's cruel. Inhumane.
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- Will you sign a petition...
- No.
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Did you just dismiss my
8-year-old daughter's activism?
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Activism? Come on.
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Don't be Lollypop Boy.
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What does that eve... I'm sorry.
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Am I supposed to
understand that reference?
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No. Honestly, it just got away from me.
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- Ah.
- Don't you ignore me, Rocco!
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Don't be a part of the problem!
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Pete shouldn't have to
spend the weekend alone,
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so Sophie's petitioning
Vice Principal Yarble
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to let us take him home with us.
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Man, I am so proud
of that kid's conscience.
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Oh, please. You do it
because it makes you look good.
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- What?
- The accolades.
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10 bucks says that
you're wearing a T-shirt
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- with Sophie's face on it.
- Pfft.
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- Unzip the sweater. Let me help you.
- I'm not going to.
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- Don't touch me! It's my body!
- Okay.
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All right, fine, but you know damn well
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my resolution was
to do more silk-screening.
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There you go.
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This is about helping Sophie
develop a strong moral compass.
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And, yes, I've picked out my suit
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for the Student of the Year ceremony.
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Heads-up, this guy's going with maroon.
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It's not a suit if it isn't black.
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It's a costume.
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She's the next Greta...
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something.
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Gosh! I wish I could remember
her last name.
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- She's so important.
- I bet.
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Will Cooper.
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Vice Principal Yarble! How are you?
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Terrible.
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I was taking a cat nap when your
daughter's screams awakened me.
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Make her stop.
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Let me coast into the sweet embrace
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of a three-day weekend.
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I already laid out my pajamas.
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Oh, she'll stop as soon as you agree
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to let us take Pete home
for the weekend.
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Oh, no.
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Then another kid will want
to take him home next weekend,
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and another,
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and soon I'll be running
some kind of check-out process.
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Don't make my life harder, Will Cooper.
Please, I can't take it.
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Well, then, I'm sorry to say,
Sophie's campaign will continue.
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No! No! Pete can't stay!
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That's my girl.
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Greta Thunberg! Ah, that's the name.
I remembered.
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Now, that is a face to silk-screen.
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Sophie!
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Release Rocco from the headlock.
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That's not how we want
to get our signatures.
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Rocco, sign the petition.
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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02x12 - Welcome to the Hilltop!
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And then Pronstroller was all, like,
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"Should we just do the damn thing?"
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And I was all, like, "Uh, yeah."
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And then, bam.
Exclusive relationship, wassup?
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Happy for you.
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And thank you for walking me through
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all the physical acts
preceding that conversation.
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You're welcome.
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But, yo, I think I'm in love.
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I gave her one of my hats.
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Wow. Now, hat's a big deal.
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Mnh-mnh. Don't do that.
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I was being open and vulnerable
with you right now.
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Oh, there she is.
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She's coming to pick me up.
Total girlfriend move!
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Mm.
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- We enjoy long hugs.
- That's hot as hell.
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Just got an earful of Miggy love.
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Can we talk about anything else?
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Let's see, not much going on with me.
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I finally tried a Baked Lay.
Don't know who those are for.
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Mnh.
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Poppy!
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Oh. Here we go.
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Ooh, isn't that Ron's new piece?
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His wife, Angie.
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Her name's Sharon.
You were at her wedding.
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You took a million pics together.
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- Geez. My memory is garbagio.
- Hey, Poppy!
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What's poppin', Poppy? What's poppin'?
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Okay, we can just start talking, Sharon.
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I'm assuming you're here because
Ron did something stupid.
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Is the accent back?
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Oh, no wine for me, uh,
because, big news...
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we're pregnant!
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Get in here. Touch it.
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- Mm.
- Kiss it.
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Say your name to it
so it knows who you are.
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Wow-eee! Poppy, did you hear that news?
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- Yes, Angela, I heard.
- And we're happy?
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I'm just trying
to follow your lead here.
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Congratulations, Sharon.
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Gonna go neutral. Got it.
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Oh, Poppy, you should come
with me to my ultrasound today.
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I'm gonna find out the sex.
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Ooh! Wow! Oh, God, this is a tough one.
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I already, uh, promised Angie
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that I would hang out with her today.
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She's having, uh,
gastrointestinal problems.
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Yeah, it's just flowing through her.
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She's wearing a diaper right now.
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Come on, man.
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Yeah, it's true.
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My doc says that my butt tubes
are all out of whack.
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Sucks.
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Oh. Gross.
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Well, next time, then?
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Maybe. You know what?
So sorry. We have to go.
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Yeah, I can tell by Angie's face
she's in great distress.
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- Oh.
- Okay.
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Yeah.
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Okay, that was big news,
and I am here for you,
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but we have to discuss
why every on-the-fly excuse
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- involves me dropping heat in my pants.
- Copy that.
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Ugh. How am I getting worse?
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- Welcome to Hilltop.
- Thanks, Pete.
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Wait, what?
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Sophie Cooper, did you steal that bird?
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I saved him.
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You told me my moral compass
would never steer me wrong.
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Oh, boy. That does sound like me.
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We'll give Pete a great weekend
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and then bring him back
before school starts.
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I know stealing is wrong,
but in this case,
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I really believe
it's the right thing to do.
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Okay, wow. I raised
a remarkable young woman.
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Great dad!
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Did you just say "great dad"
to yourself?
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- Sorry, what?
- Welcome to Hilltop.
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Okay. Pete can stay.
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It is such a bummer
they keep him cooped up.
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Poor guy's probably
never even flown before.
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Pete, it's just you and me now.
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Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
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Welcome to Hilltop.
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That was wild back there, huh?
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You know what?
I'm gonna be here for you.
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Today, I'm Poppy.
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Okay, so, your ex-husband
is having a baby.
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Talk to me. How do you feel?
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Honestly? Weird.
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I mean, she invited me
to her ultrasound, Ang.
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I didn't knock her up.
Why is it my damn problem?
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- It's not!
- You know what I think?
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It's a generational thing. Sharon's 23.
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The youth today have no concept
of boundaries.
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Millennials. God! I hate them!
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No respect.
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It's like, this is a society.
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We have rules for a reason.
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Ma'am, you have to pay for that.
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Ang, you know
we're Millennials, too, right?
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Yeah, but you get it.
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Mm. Yeah, anyway, back to Sharon.
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What's next? She wants me
present for the actual birth?
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Gosh. I'm gonna wrap my legs around her,
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"Handmaid's Tale" -style?
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Uch, hate that show.
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I've never seen it.
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Hold up. Is that...?
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Miggy's girlfriend
with a man that's not Miggy.
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A smokin'-hot man.
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This is s-so messed!
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Just today, he was telling me
they're exclusive.
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- See?
- Uh-huh.
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- See?
- Uh-huh.
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- See?
- Uh-huh.
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- See?!
- Uh-huh!
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- This is exactly what I was talking about.
- Exactly!
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We're not gonna let her
burn Miggy like this.
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- In fact, we're gonna follow them.
- Yeah.
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- Catch them in the act.
- Okay.
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- Mm-hmm.
- So, just to be clear,
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you want to deal
with Sharon's pregnancy by...
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- tailing Miggy's girlfriend?
- You bet your ass I do.
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- Yeah.
- Yeah.
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Because I am done letting
this over-sharing, milk-hating,
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rotary-phone-not-remembering
generation get away with it!
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You in?
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- Let's ride.
- All right.
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Hey, for the cookies.
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And whatever else my friend
stole while she was here.
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♪ Washin' spoons ♪
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♪ Washin' the dishes ♪
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00:07:01,202 --> 00:07:02,770
- ♪ Scrubbin' forks ♪
- Hey, Dad.
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00:07:02,803 --> 00:07:04,606
♪ I'm washin' a knife ♪
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00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:06,175
♪ Washin' spoons ♪
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00:07:06,207 --> 00:07:10,945
♪ First I'm gonna wash,
then I'll let 'em dry ♪
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00:07:10,979 --> 00:07:13,015
♪ 'Cause I'm washin' it all ♪
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00:07:13,048 --> 00:07:15,250
♪ Yeah, I'm washin' the dishes ♪
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00:07:15,284 --> 00:07:18,553
♪ Scrubbin' forks,
scrubbin' the knives ♪
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00:07:18,587 --> 00:07:19,555
♪ Washin' bowls ♪
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This is it, Pete,
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the moment you've been denied
your whole life.
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It's time to fly!
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00:07:26,161 --> 00:07:27,930
Welcome to Hilltop. Wait...
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Sophie, what was that?!
214
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I just wanted him to fly,
as nature intended.
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00:07:35,321 --> 00:07:36,477
And because I loved him,
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00:07:36,532 --> 00:07:38,772
I assumed he would fly back to me.
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00:07:38,827 --> 00:07:41,038
Aw, honey, you couldn't have
known his wings were clipped.
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00:07:41,063 --> 00:07:42,464
I'm a murderer.
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00:07:42,498 --> 00:07:44,801
You are not a murderer.
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00:07:44,841 --> 00:07:47,707
The upturned rake that Pete fell
directly onto is the murderer.
221
00:07:47,754 --> 00:07:49,055
You just made a mistake.
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00:07:49,088 --> 00:07:51,758
A mistake that resulted in
the death of an innocent bird.
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00:07:51,790 --> 00:07:54,394
And the only thing I can do now
is to be honest
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and turn myself in to Yarble.
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00:07:57,262 --> 00:07:59,331
Which means it's over.
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00:07:59,365 --> 00:08:02,269
I can kiss that future
we planned for me goodbye.
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00:08:02,302 --> 00:08:03,970
I know you just saw a bird die,
228
00:08:04,002 --> 00:08:05,572
but I think you're being
a little dramatic.
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00:08:05,605 --> 00:08:07,841
Am I? I'll probably get a suspension,
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00:08:07,874 --> 00:08:10,010
which means that'll take me
out of the running
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00:08:10,043 --> 00:08:11,310
for Student of the Year.
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00:08:11,343 --> 00:08:13,112
That stings.
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Especially since we set aside
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00:08:14,848 --> 00:08:16,917
such a good spot on the Sophie shelf.
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00:08:16,949 --> 00:08:18,250
I said goodbye to all of that
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00:08:18,283 --> 00:08:20,086
the day that I threw that bird
off the roof.
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00:08:20,119 --> 00:08:21,655
That was today.
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00:08:21,687 --> 00:08:22,923
Wait.
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00:08:22,956 --> 00:08:24,624
Sophie, what are you doing?
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00:08:24,656 --> 00:08:27,326
I'm removing these reminders
of my former self.
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I'm going nowhere.
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00:08:29,127 --> 00:08:33,867
Well... just to play devil's...
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00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:35,935
if you turn yourself in
and lose your good standing,
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00:08:35,968 --> 00:08:38,170
you won't be able to fight
for things in the future.
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00:08:38,204 --> 00:08:40,507
And that wouldn't be right.
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00:08:40,540 --> 00:08:43,543
Sophie, do you think that maybe
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00:08:43,575 --> 00:08:45,511
your guilt is punishment enough?
248
00:08:45,545 --> 00:08:47,146
I mean, Pete wouldn't want you
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to lose everything over this, right?
250
00:08:49,147 --> 00:08:51,450
No. He would want
to welcome me to Hilltop.
251
00:08:51,483 --> 00:08:53,118
That's right, he would.
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00:08:53,151 --> 00:08:54,887
But what are we gonna do?
253
00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:57,223
Vice Principal Yarble's
gonna see that Pete's missing,
254
00:08:57,257 --> 00:08:59,020
and she'll know it was me.
255
00:09:01,227 --> 00:09:02,496
Not if we cover it up.
256
00:09:03,997 --> 00:09:05,799
You and I aren't built for lying.
257
00:09:05,832 --> 00:09:06,900
You're right.
258
00:09:06,933 --> 00:09:08,367
We'll never be able to pull this off.
259
00:09:08,401 --> 00:09:09,969
We need a bad person.
260
00:09:10,002 --> 00:09:12,702
Someone 100% morally bankrupt.
261
00:09:13,705 --> 00:09:16,342
I understand our services are needed.
262
00:09:16,376 --> 00:09:18,745
We hear there's evidence
that needs to be destroyed.
263
00:09:18,777 --> 00:09:20,346
Don't worry. We're discreet.
264
00:09:25,517 --> 00:09:28,452
Ugh, they just opened
another bottle of wine.
265
00:09:29,460 --> 00:09:31,657
When are Pronstroller
and Round Head McNormal Face
266
00:09:31,690 --> 00:09:32,992
gonna smush already?
267
00:09:33,026 --> 00:09:34,327
I'm hungry.
268
00:09:34,359 --> 00:09:36,161
Don't people usually have snacks
at these stakeouts?
269
00:09:39,464 --> 00:09:41,533
You're offering me loose beef jerky
270
00:09:41,566 --> 00:09:43,168
from your glove compartment?
271
00:09:43,202 --> 00:09:44,737
Sorry, princess.
272
00:09:46,039 --> 00:09:48,508
Oh, hell yeah, that's hard to eat.
273
00:09:48,540 --> 00:09:51,511
Also, you own a tiny spy telescope?
274
00:09:51,544 --> 00:09:52,913
Wanna tell me the story of buying that?
275
00:09:52,945 --> 00:09:54,880
Just very curious about your headspace
276
00:09:54,914 --> 00:09:56,016
during that time of purchase.
277
00:09:56,049 --> 00:09:57,449
Thank you for your question.
278
00:09:57,483 --> 00:09:59,953
- First of all, it's a spyglass.
- Oh.
279
00:09:59,986 --> 00:10:02,923
And it was reasonably priced
at 400 tickets at Dave & B's,
280
00:10:02,955 --> 00:10:05,557
which I easily won
rippin' it at Skee-Ball.
281
00:10:05,590 --> 00:10:07,459
You know what? You and I
are best friends, but we have
282
00:10:07,492 --> 00:10:09,695
very different approaches
to our recreational time.
283
00:10:09,728 --> 00:10:12,741
Yes. See? That is great stakeout banter.
284
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:16,233
Check us out, just two odd-couple,
buddy-cop knucklebutts
285
00:10:16,296 --> 00:10:18,257
camped out in a van, razzing each other
286
00:10:18,288 --> 00:10:20,032
while we eagle-eye some dirtbags.
287
00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:21,389
Enh! That's right.
288
00:10:25,411 --> 00:10:26,478
Are you okay?
289
00:10:26,511 --> 00:10:27,781
Your phone need juice?
290
00:10:27,814 --> 00:10:29,549
I have...
291
00:10:29,582 --> 00:10:31,284
seven different chargers,
292
00:10:31,316 --> 00:10:33,118
none of them for contemporary phones,
293
00:10:33,197 --> 00:10:34,383
but we could cobble something together.
294
00:10:34,453 --> 00:10:36,088
It's Sharon.
295
00:10:36,305 --> 00:10:39,793
She sent me her sonogram.
296
00:10:39,825 --> 00:10:41,937
It's a girl.
297
00:10:42,456 --> 00:10:46,628
Beautiful, healthy,
well-positioned girl.
298
00:10:48,353 --> 00:10:49,621
Rory's little sister.
299
00:10:51,962 --> 00:10:53,831
I think I'm ready to talk about
how I'm really feeling.
300
00:10:53,856 --> 00:10:55,325
Oh, yeah, that sounds about right.
301
00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:56,994
- Okay.
- Come here.
302
00:10:58,061 --> 00:10:59,629
Poppy's got ya.
303
00:11:03,966 --> 00:11:05,769
I don't know how you can eat
while the twins are...
304
00:11:05,802 --> 00:11:07,336
disposing of the body.
305
00:11:07,370 --> 00:11:09,840
Well, I guess seeing you
fall off your high horse
306
00:11:09,873 --> 00:11:11,775
left me a bit peckish.
307
00:11:11,807 --> 00:11:14,912
"All I care about is
my daughter's moral compass."
308
00:11:14,945 --> 00:11:16,046
Ha! Bunk.
309
00:11:16,078 --> 00:11:17,513
You're bunk, Lollypop Boy.
310
00:11:17,547 --> 00:11:19,048
Yeah, that's right. I took it,
311
00:11:19,081 --> 00:11:20,683
and it sounds better
coming out of my mouth.
312
00:11:20,716 --> 00:11:21,851
I'm not judging.
313
00:11:21,884 --> 00:11:25,054
I'm just merely labeling your hypocrisy
314
00:11:25,087 --> 00:11:26,956
and thinking less of you for it.
315
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:28,459
Fine. Do I enjoy
316
00:11:28,491 --> 00:11:30,360
being the father
of a high-achieving daughter?
317
00:11:30,393 --> 00:11:32,028
Of course.
318
00:11:32,062 --> 00:11:35,198
Do I have an 18-year plan
where she goes to Harvard
319
00:11:35,231 --> 00:11:38,101
but then eschews that for a
prestigious New York university
320
00:11:38,134 --> 00:11:40,561
to chase after the love
of her life, just like Felicity?
321
00:11:40,608 --> 00:11:41,697
I do.
322
00:11:41,738 --> 00:11:43,240
And do I sometimes picture myself
323
00:11:43,273 --> 00:11:44,483
with the Felicity haircut?
324
00:11:44,553 --> 00:11:46,442
You know, not the good one,
but the one everyone says is bad
325
00:11:46,475 --> 00:11:48,476
but I think I could pull off?
326
00:11:48,539 --> 00:11:50,622
It's really busy up there, isn't it?
327
00:11:50,647 --> 00:11:52,116
Look, can you help us or not?
328
00:11:52,148 --> 00:11:53,616
Yes, I can help you.
329
00:11:53,649 --> 00:11:54,898
Sophie!
330
00:11:57,653 --> 00:12:01,057
Listen, it's time to construct
the perfect alibi,
331
00:12:01,091 --> 00:12:05,129
but the key is that you have to
really believe your own story.
332
00:12:05,162 --> 00:12:06,463
Okay? You got it?
333
00:12:06,495 --> 00:12:08,164
I-I think so.
334
00:12:08,197 --> 00:12:09,466
Okay.
335
00:12:09,499 --> 00:12:10,801
Where were you at 3:00 P.M.?
336
00:12:10,834 --> 00:12:13,637
Th-The mall?
337
00:12:13,669 --> 00:12:15,238
Baloney!
338
00:12:15,272 --> 00:12:18,609
Now, close your eyes
and see the store you're in.
339
00:12:18,642 --> 00:12:20,844
Feel it. Smell it.
340
00:12:20,876 --> 00:12:22,345
Okay.
341
00:12:22,402 --> 00:12:24,048
I was in Claire's.
342
00:12:24,087 --> 00:12:25,481
No! TCBY.
343
00:12:25,514 --> 00:12:27,451
And what did you buy?
344
00:12:27,484 --> 00:12:28,853
Homework?
345
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:32,622
At a yogurt store?
346
00:12:32,655 --> 00:12:34,290
Okay, see, your head's not in the game.
347
00:12:34,323 --> 00:12:35,492
Take a lap!
348
00:12:37,193 --> 00:12:39,629
All right, give it to me straight.
She's gonna blow this, right?
349
00:12:39,663 --> 00:12:41,632
She's the worst liar I've ever seen.
350
00:12:41,664 --> 00:12:43,466
And kids are usually good at it.
351
00:12:43,499 --> 00:12:45,635
They're dumb enough to believe
what they're saying.
352
00:12:45,668 --> 00:12:47,703
Damn it, I raised too good
of a daughter.
353
00:12:47,736 --> 00:12:50,022
But at least we have all weekend
to figure it out.
354
00:12:52,835 --> 00:12:53,943
Will Cooper.
355
00:12:53,976 --> 00:12:55,749
The Hilltop parrot is missing.
356
00:12:55,796 --> 00:12:57,014
I assume it was Sophie.
357
00:12:57,047 --> 00:12:59,483
Thus, I am here on Friday afternoon
358
00:12:59,515 --> 00:13:01,985
of my three-day weekend to investigate.
359
00:13:02,018 --> 00:13:03,052
Why do you hate me?
360
00:13:07,057 --> 00:13:10,793
It just feels impossible
to wrap my head around the idea
361
00:13:10,826 --> 00:13:13,663
of Rory having a sibling
that isn't my kid.
362
00:13:13,696 --> 00:13:16,667
And Sharon can tell me to
kiss her belly all she wants to,
363
00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:18,969
but the truth is,
I'm not a part of this, Ang.
364
00:13:19,001 --> 00:13:20,636
And Rory will be.
365
00:13:20,669 --> 00:13:22,972
Yeah, that's gotta be
really hard to process.
366
00:13:23,005 --> 00:13:25,408
Especially with Sharon
sending you pictures
367
00:13:25,442 --> 00:13:27,476
of her gross new body roommate.
368
00:13:27,509 --> 00:13:28,912
Ugh.
369
00:13:28,945 --> 00:13:31,480
Sorry, all babies are miracles.
Proof of God.
370
00:13:31,514 --> 00:13:34,051
And it's not like I can confront
Sharon and tell her how I feel.
371
00:13:34,084 --> 00:13:35,919
No, I have to be the perfect ex-wife.
372
00:13:35,951 --> 00:13:38,321
Gracious, evolved, always has gum.
373
00:13:38,355 --> 00:13:40,757
I'm not allowed to get upset,
and sometimes I wanna get upset.
374
00:13:40,789 --> 00:13:43,192
Well, then, do it. Get upset.
375
00:13:43,225 --> 00:13:44,561
Come on. Let it out.
376
00:13:44,594 --> 00:13:45,996
Let it out on these losers.
377
00:13:46,028 --> 00:13:48,932
Ugh, kissing in the window,
378
00:13:48,965 --> 00:13:52,436
like they're the leg lamp
from that Christmas movie.
379
00:13:52,469 --> 00:13:54,371
Hell yeah. Let's go bust some skulls!
380
00:13:54,403 --> 00:13:56,240
Yeah, let's go show them
what a real kiss looks like!
381
00:13:56,273 --> 00:13:57,673
Yeah! Wait.
382
00:13:57,706 --> 00:13:58,908
What do you think
we're about to do, Angie?
383
00:14:01,711 --> 00:14:04,214
Okay, so, we need a plan
so they open the door.
384
00:14:04,246 --> 00:14:05,414
Do you have an air horn?
385
00:14:05,447 --> 00:14:07,083
What? No, I'm not
a morning radio deejay.
386
00:14:07,116 --> 00:14:08,217
I do not have an air horn.
387
00:14:08,250 --> 00:14:10,620
Angie? Poppy? Uh...
388
00:14:10,653 --> 00:14:12,088
- Who are you?
- Your worst nightmare.
389
00:14:12,121 --> 00:14:14,423
Yeah, your worst nightmare,
you hot biatch!
390
00:14:14,456 --> 00:14:15,958
Who do you guys think you are?
391
00:14:15,991 --> 00:14:18,094
You, cheating on Miggy? Really?
392
00:14:18,128 --> 00:14:19,730
I should bust you over the head
with Angie's spyglass.
393
00:14:19,763 --> 00:14:20,998
No, Poppy! I earned this.
394
00:14:22,113 --> 00:14:24,309
You kids do whatever you want
without any regard
395
00:14:24,334 --> 00:14:26,111
for the boundaries
we've agreed on as a society.
396
00:14:26,143 --> 00:14:28,279
- Poppy...
- You just invite people to your ultrasound
397
00:14:28,304 --> 00:14:29,805
and force-confront them
with your baby's sex,
398
00:14:29,839 --> 00:14:31,635
never considering how that
might be making them feel!
399
00:14:31,721 --> 00:14:33,543
- What's that, now?
- Uh, Pop, you're veering.
400
00:14:33,576 --> 00:14:34,644
I hear it. I'm bringing it home.
401
00:14:34,677 --> 00:14:36,279
- You...
- Poppy!
402
00:14:36,312 --> 00:14:38,749
I thought I heard
your scary, scoldy mom voice.
403
00:14:38,782 --> 00:14:39,950
What are you guys doing here?
404
00:14:39,983 --> 00:14:41,551
What are you doing here?
405
00:14:41,584 --> 00:14:43,654
Oh, you know my girlfriend, Homily.
406
00:14:43,687 --> 00:14:46,456
And this is Brian, our boyfriend.
407
00:14:47,423 --> 00:14:50,526
- Ohhhhhh.
- Ohhhhhh.
408
00:14:53,028 --> 00:14:55,791
We were just barging in 'cause...
409
00:14:57,033 --> 00:14:58,752
...Angie's got to use your toilet.
410
00:14:58,799 --> 00:15:01,241
- It's a diarrhea thing.
- Dude, seriously. Why?
411
00:15:03,693 --> 00:15:07,589
Okay, so the three of you
are dating each other?
412
00:15:07,652 --> 00:15:09,371
Yeah, we're a throuple.
413
00:15:09,396 --> 00:15:11,144
I've never been happier.
414
00:15:11,169 --> 00:15:12,909
I-I-I call my mom now.
415
00:15:13,003 --> 00:15:14,571
I don't know how that relates.
416
00:15:15,672 --> 00:15:18,575
Dang. Y'all are cheesin' hard.
417
00:15:18,609 --> 00:15:20,511
Miggy, did I even know you dated guys?
418
00:15:20,543 --> 00:15:21,845
No, you've met his boyfriends before.
419
00:15:21,878 --> 00:15:23,180
Remember Chubby Mario Lopez?
420
00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:24,482
Yeah, if you're confused,
421
00:15:24,514 --> 00:15:27,050
he looked exactly like
Mario Lopez but chubby.
422
00:15:27,084 --> 00:15:29,338
Oh, yeah, he was dope.
423
00:15:29,371 --> 00:15:30,695
Okay, I guess I did know.
424
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:34,090
Sorry, this old brain basket of
mine's got a lot of holes in it.
425
00:15:34,123 --> 00:15:35,258
It's all good, bro.
426
00:15:35,291 --> 00:15:37,117
I don't really dig labels.
427
00:15:37,142 --> 00:15:38,947
It's just more of the vibe for me.
428
00:15:38,993 --> 00:15:41,368
And right now, I'm vibin' double.
429
00:15:46,486 --> 00:15:48,204
- Angie, no.
- What, I can't wink?
430
00:15:48,243 --> 00:15:49,356
You are not part of the group.
431
00:15:50,390 --> 00:15:51,592
I have a question.
432
00:15:51,625 --> 00:15:53,127
Sorry to sound like the old Millennial,
433
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:54,862
but how does this work?
434
00:15:54,895 --> 00:15:56,698
Anybody ever feel left out or...?
435
00:15:56,731 --> 00:15:58,165
We have a three-pronged approach
436
00:15:58,198 --> 00:15:59,700
for working through the sticky stuff...
437
00:15:59,733 --> 00:16:02,336
radical honesty, active listening,
438
00:16:02,370 --> 00:16:04,472
and open communication.
439
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:06,006
And it just works.
440
00:16:06,039 --> 00:16:08,476
Well, now I want to be in a throuple!
441
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,211
How did you guys meet?
442
00:16:10,244 --> 00:16:13,148
Oh, there's a poly dating app.
It's called Big Bed.
443
00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:14,549
And, Brian, you're on it?
444
00:16:17,050 --> 00:16:18,385
Okay.
445
00:16:18,419 --> 00:16:21,655
Sophie Cooper,
at 3:00 P.M. this afternoon,
446
00:16:21,688 --> 00:16:24,858
I was crawling into my indoor hammock,
447
00:16:24,891 --> 00:16:27,861
firing up an audiobook
on self-compassion.
448
00:16:27,895 --> 00:16:29,997
I had just put down my cat for a nap.
449
00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:31,632
Okay.
450
00:16:31,665 --> 00:16:35,869
- Where were you at that time?
- I was shopping
451
00:16:35,903 --> 00:16:39,574
at the center for... shopping?
452
00:16:45,346 --> 00:16:48,082
The Eagle Rock mall.
First floor. Claire's.
453
00:16:48,116 --> 00:16:49,417
By yourself?
454
00:16:49,449 --> 00:16:51,919
No, Douglas took me
with Emma and Amy after school,
455
00:16:51,952 --> 00:16:54,422
and then he brought me home,
which is why he's here now.
456
00:16:54,454 --> 00:16:55,356
Next question.
457
00:16:57,239 --> 00:16:58,474
My God, she's doing it.
458
00:16:58,542 --> 00:17:00,042
She's good at lying.
459
00:17:00,097 --> 00:17:03,030
We did it.
We destroyed her inner conscience.
460
00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:05,233
Now there's no stopping her.
461
00:17:05,266 --> 00:17:07,936
May be time to break out
that Harvard bumper sticker.
462
00:17:07,969 --> 00:17:09,370
Though, I can tell you one thing,
463
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:12,291
can't hold a damn candle
to SUNY Buffalo.
464
00:17:12,353 --> 00:17:14,119
Did you purchase anything?
465
00:17:14,190 --> 00:17:15,592
Yes, two scrunchies
466
00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:17,853
and a towel with a drawing
of a muscled body on it.
467
00:17:17,886 --> 00:17:19,855
My dad loves joke towels.
468
00:17:21,156 --> 00:17:23,759
All right.
469
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:25,860
Seems like you have your story straight.
470
00:17:25,894 --> 00:17:27,996
Don't know what to do now.
471
00:17:28,029 --> 00:17:29,798
Got no leads.
472
00:17:29,831 --> 00:17:32,434
Sounds like another
A-plus weekend for old Yarbs.
473
00:17:32,466 --> 00:17:35,469
Well, 62 bad years under my belt.
474
00:17:35,503 --> 00:17:37,505
What's one more?
475
00:17:37,539 --> 00:17:38,864
Yeah, it's my birthday.
476
00:17:40,574 --> 00:17:42,276
Thanks, Dad.
477
00:17:42,310 --> 00:17:45,193
Man, now that I've lost
that pesky moral-compass thing,
478
00:17:45,224 --> 00:17:48,716
let's fill up that Sophie shelf
until it explodes!
479
00:17:48,750 --> 00:17:51,720
I'm riding these hollow insides
to the top.
480
00:17:51,753 --> 00:17:54,856
Wait! Vice Principal Yarble!
481
00:17:54,888 --> 00:17:56,457
You're screaming. I'm right here.
482
00:17:56,491 --> 00:17:58,440
Sophie's lying, but I-I told her to lie.
483
00:17:58,465 --> 00:18:00,588
- It's my fault.
- Dad, no!
484
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,363
No, I led her astray.
485
00:18:02,397 --> 00:18:04,032
We should never have tried
to cover this up.
486
00:18:04,064 --> 00:18:05,966
The truth is, yes,
she stole the bird, okay?
487
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,056
But only because she was
following her conscience.
488
00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:10,805
Dad! We were getting away with it.
489
00:18:10,830 --> 00:18:12,740
Yeah, but at what cost, bud?
490
00:18:12,773 --> 00:18:16,177
You have such a great heart,
and you should always follow it.
491
00:18:16,211 --> 00:18:18,080
Consequences be damned.
492
00:18:18,112 --> 00:18:20,866
Who cares if I only have Felicity's
curly hair in my dreams?
493
00:18:22,050 --> 00:18:24,319
Look, the only crime was her lie,
494
00:18:24,351 --> 00:18:25,920
and I told her to do that.
495
00:18:25,954 --> 00:18:28,690
So if you're gonna
blame anybody, blame me.
496
00:18:28,723 --> 00:18:29,991
Okay. I will blame you.
497
00:18:30,023 --> 00:18:31,525
- Oh, thank God.
- And her.
498
00:18:31,559 --> 00:18:32,860
What? But... But she didn't do anything.
499
00:18:32,894 --> 00:18:34,429
She didn't even mean to kill the bird.
500
00:18:34,462 --> 00:18:35,831
The bird's dead?!
501
00:18:35,863 --> 00:18:37,365
Okay, well, now you're screaming.
502
00:18:38,567 --> 00:18:42,904
Look, both of us will accept
any punishment coming our way.
503
00:18:42,936 --> 00:18:44,872
And what was your part in all this?
504
00:18:44,906 --> 00:18:46,207
Oh, nothing.
505
00:18:46,241 --> 00:18:48,577
Just hanging with my buds.
506
00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:52,214
Deed's done. Time to settle up.
507
00:18:52,246 --> 00:18:55,142
We can charge by hour
or by weight of the remains.
508
00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:58,052
My girls don't leave prints, Yarble.
509
00:18:58,086 --> 00:19:00,222
You'll never be able to prove anything.
510
00:19:02,223 --> 00:19:03,466
Happy birthday.
511
00:19:04,825 --> 00:19:07,695
That throuple seemed so happy
512
00:19:07,728 --> 00:19:09,930
and supportive of each other.
513
00:19:09,964 --> 00:19:12,434
Are youths... smart?
514
00:19:12,466 --> 00:19:15,137
Did Miggy just teach me
something about relationships?
515
00:19:15,169 --> 00:19:17,471
Did Brian have the bluest eyes
you've ever seen?
516
00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:19,140
- Huh?
- I'm sorry.
517
00:19:19,174 --> 00:19:21,743
I thought we were just
asking questions about the day.
518
00:19:21,775 --> 00:19:23,410
I can't believe that I'm gonna say this,
519
00:19:23,444 --> 00:19:25,647
but maybe you should...
520
00:19:25,679 --> 00:19:27,815
try the three-pronged approach
with Sharon.
521
00:19:27,849 --> 00:19:29,618
You know, the more honest you are,
522
00:19:29,650 --> 00:19:31,085
the easier this will all be.
523
00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:33,155
Wow.
524
00:19:33,187 --> 00:19:35,145
That's good advice.
525
00:19:37,145 --> 00:19:40,895
I can't believe Rory's about to
have a little sister.
526
00:19:40,989 --> 00:19:42,911
It's actually pretty cool.
527
00:19:43,031 --> 00:19:43,932
Yeah.
528
00:19:45,265 --> 00:19:47,268
Hey, thanks for
getting me through tonight.
529
00:19:47,302 --> 00:19:48,602
Yeah.
530
00:19:48,636 --> 00:19:50,571
Oh, my God. I did it.
531
00:19:50,604 --> 00:19:52,506
Am I... Poppy?
532
00:19:52,540 --> 00:19:54,909
Well, real Poppy wouldn't have
ran out of gas on the way home.
533
00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:57,542
But... yeah, you did it.
534
00:19:58,729 --> 00:20:00,081
Great.
535
00:20:02,191 --> 00:20:04,476
So in another news, I'm already
killing it on Big Bed.
536
00:20:04,526 --> 00:20:05,787
Okay.
537
00:20:08,952 --> 00:20:10,619
Pete looks different.
538
00:20:10,653 --> 00:20:12,823
Nah, he just missed us.
539
00:20:12,856 --> 00:20:14,061
How was your weekend, Pete?
540
00:20:14,112 --> 00:20:16,949
Welcome to Toyota of Lancaster.
541
00:20:16,974 --> 00:20:18,743
It's the same bird. Move along.
542
00:20:20,643 --> 00:20:22,445
Why is there so much trash
on the ground?
543
00:20:22,478 --> 00:20:23,899
Why is everything so wet?
544
00:20:25,282 --> 00:20:27,618
Dad, I'm sorry
we won't be celebrating me
545
00:20:27,650 --> 00:20:29,119
as Student of the Year.
546
00:20:29,151 --> 00:20:32,224
Well, it turns out
I'm not really a maroon guy,
547
00:20:32,249 --> 00:20:34,058
and it was a Zara off-the-rack suit,
548
00:20:34,083 --> 00:20:35,347
so super baggy in the butt.
549
00:20:35,372 --> 00:20:37,227
Probably best if I don't wear it at all.
550
00:20:37,259 --> 00:20:38,828
And I'm really proud of you.
551
00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:40,229
And I'm proud of you, too.
552
00:20:40,263 --> 00:20:42,967
Mostly for becoming
a sociopath-level liar
553
00:20:42,999 --> 00:20:44,500
in one afternoon.
554
00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:46,804
And also for standing up
for what you believe in.
555
00:20:46,836 --> 00:20:49,006
Ooh. I want to show you this.
556
00:20:49,038 --> 00:20:50,140
Huh?
557
00:20:50,172 --> 00:20:51,674
Is that you?
558
00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:54,111
Yeah. I fought for a cause or two.
559
00:20:54,143 --> 00:20:57,204
After all, I was a child of the '70s.
560
00:20:57,229 --> 00:20:58,983
- 1870s.
- Hey-oh!
561
00:20:59,015 --> 00:21:00,351
Boys!
562
00:21:00,383 --> 00:21:03,987
Okay, look, the point is,
kids are dumb dreamers,
563
00:21:04,021 --> 00:21:07,157
but, you know, maybe that phase
is good for something, huh?
564
00:21:07,189 --> 00:21:10,026
Wow. That was almost touching.
Thanks, Douglas.
565
00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:11,362
Since when did the kids
get so comfortable
566
00:21:11,394 --> 00:21:13,029
calling me by my first name?
567
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:14,598
Back to work.
568
00:21:14,631 --> 00:21:16,788
Special reward
if anyone finds my retainer.
569
00:21:18,482 --> 00:21:19,917
Yes, Ms. Yarble.
570
00:21:19,959 --> 00:21:21,769
Don't do that.
571
00:21:21,839 --> 00:21:26,839
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com