1
00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:04,003
I don't understand why I have
to eat them out of a tiny bag.
2
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,449
Portion control, Douglas.
3
00:00:05,450 --> 00:00:07,919
Your cardiologist telling you
you got to watch fat intake
4
00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:10,009
is the best thing that
ever happened to me.
5
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,803
My man's gonna eat healthy,
and we're gonna support him
6
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,279
because we want to keep him alive.
7
00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:17,809
Oh, I forgot to tell you, but
it's Derek's last day in town.
8
00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:20,478
And we're really finding a rhythm.
9
00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:21,799
Ready?
10
00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:23,440
- Ready.
- Ready.
11
00:00:24,870 --> 00:00:26,199
Ooh.
12
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,529
- Ooh!
- Yeah!
13
00:00:27,530 --> 00:00:29,070
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
14
00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:30,799
Okay, this next batch is blueberry.
15
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:32,949
Everyone make the adjustments
you need to make.
16
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:34,279
We tried to make a pancake
17
00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:35,809
into the shape of a "G" for Graham,
18
00:00:35,810 --> 00:00:37,919
but then, it ended up
looking like a swastika.
19
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:40,915
Take that, Nazis!
We ate you for breakfast!
20
00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:43,084
Sounds confusing for the boy,
but I'm happy for you.
21
00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:44,459
Were there any awkward moments?
22
00:00:44,460 --> 00:00:45,709
Graham didn't have any questions
23
00:00:45,710 --> 00:00:47,379
like "Where's my dad
been my whole life?"
24
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:50,779
No. We're still sticking to the
Greek blueberry scientist story...
25
00:00:50,780 --> 00:00:54,093
Derek became the most famous blueberry
scientist in the Mediterranean
26
00:00:54,094 --> 00:00:56,279
and then was sent to the
States as an emissary
27
00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,892
to help Ratso's launch the new
blueberry fudge pie shake cake.
28
00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:00,339
Sounds solid.
29
00:01:00,340 --> 00:01:02,739
Douglas, what are you doing?
30
00:01:02,740 --> 00:01:03,999
I'm sorry.
31
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,689
I wanted ham.
32
00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:09,027
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
33
00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:13,379
Will, we came to see how you're doing
34
00:01:13,380 --> 00:01:14,799
after your breakup with Tracy.
35
00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:16,019
Not great.
36
00:01:16,020 --> 00:01:19,019
But I am distracting
myself with a deep clean.
37
00:01:19,020 --> 00:01:20,619
It's like my Gam-Gam always says,
38
00:01:20,620 --> 00:01:22,999
"The cleaner the floors... "
39
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,719
Is there more to that?
40
00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:26,719
No. Normally, she just
trails off after that.
41
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:29,170
I never knew my Gam-Gam
when she was doing well.
42
00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:30,899
What you working on here?
43
00:01:30,900 --> 00:01:32,719
I wrote down a list of sexual positions
44
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:33,839
so that I don't forget them
45
00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,339
by the time I'm ready to date again.
46
00:01:35,340 --> 00:01:37,219
"Up and down."
47
00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:38,359
"Back and forth."
48
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:39,849
"Topsy pushy."
49
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:41,643
Sweetie, these all sound
like the same thing to me.
50
00:01:41,644 --> 00:01:44,179
Also, you think you're gonna
forget sex positions?
51
00:01:44,180 --> 00:01:45,839
How long you planning on
being out of the game?
52
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,019
I don't know. Possibly forever.
53
00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:50,439
- How you mean?
- Yeah. Miggy's right. How you mean?
54
00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:52,639
Guys, I don't know how
to go on first dates.
55
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,989
The only people I've seriously
dated since my divorce
56
00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:57,119
were Sophie's pediatrician and my boss.
57
00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:59,283
I didn't have to meet them.
They were just there.
58
00:01:59,284 --> 00:02:00,329
Hey, can I have this?
59
00:02:00,330 --> 00:02:02,665
- Can you have it?
- Yeah.
60
00:02:03,580 --> 00:02:04,959
- Okay.
- Nice.
61
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:06,239
All right, put down the Windex,
62
00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:07,543
change your shirt, and come with us.
63
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,293
We're gonna get you a first date...
64
00:02:09,294 --> 00:02:10,879
someone to Topsy pushy on.
65
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:12,789
Topsy pushy with? You know what I mean.
66
00:02:12,790 --> 00:02:14,009
Guys, I'm not ready.
67
00:02:14,010 --> 00:02:15,659
And for the record, "Topsy" and "pushy"
68
00:02:15,660 --> 00:02:17,639
are two different things. I just
wrote them on the same line.
69
00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:19,010
That's worse.
70
00:02:19,650 --> 00:02:21,919
Some people will tell you
to roll your clothes up
71
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:24,460
or fold them, but the most
efficient way to pack
72
00:02:24,470 --> 00:02:27,106
is just to jam all your
crap right in there.
73
00:02:27,107 --> 00:02:29,190
- Yeah.
- Interesting.
74
00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:31,079
What about your toiletry bag?
75
00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:32,310
Well, ask yourself this...
76
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:36,459
why do I need a toiletry
bag when I already have...
77
00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:37,840
a shoe?
78
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:41,828
You just rocked. My. World.
79
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:44,029
You see? I won't have
a kid with just anyone.
80
00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:46,219
So, what's the plan today, guys?
81
00:02:46,220 --> 00:02:48,339
You want to walk around, find a family
82
00:02:48,340 --> 00:02:51,170
we don't like the looks of,
and challenge them to a fight?
83
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,799
Actually, Derek and I were thinking
84
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:57,160
that maybe we could have a
little alone time together.
85
00:02:57,170 --> 00:02:58,845
Graham wanted to have a father-son day,
86
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,931
so I was gonna take
him to an L.A. Ratso's
87
00:03:00,932 --> 00:03:02,359
so he could see where I work.
88
00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:04,809
He's really excited to see
how we defrost our eggs.
89
00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:07,639
Oh. So not the three of us?
90
00:03:07,640 --> 00:03:09,959
Just the two of you?
91
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,482
Now you're gettin' it.
92
00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:13,899
- Okay. That's cool.
- Great.
93
00:03:13,900 --> 00:03:14,939
On the way there, I can show you
94
00:03:14,940 --> 00:03:16,988
this amazing place
where you can get gas.
95
00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:18,529
It's a gas station.
96
00:03:18,530 --> 00:03:20,489
I have to get gas.
97
00:03:20,490 --> 00:03:24,339
Okay, Will. Let's get a
first date under your belt.
98
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,166
Ooh!
99
00:03:28,167 --> 00:03:31,090
There's a woman over there
who's looking at you.
100
00:03:33,420 --> 00:03:36,489
Ohhh, man, she's, like,
undressing me with her eyes.
101
00:03:36,490 --> 00:03:38,175
Do you think she can tell
I'm wearing bike shorts?
102
00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:39,719
- You're wearing bike shorts? Oh, no.
- Oh, God.
103
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,859
I don't know, you guys.
I really don't feel ready.
104
00:03:41,860 --> 00:03:44,399
For what? Coffee?
'Cause that's all it has to be.
105
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:45,779
- Mm-hmm.
- Come on. Get over there.
106
00:03:45,780 --> 00:03:47,394
Go, go, go.
107
00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:52,565
Shamon.
108
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:55,269
Sorry. I meant to say hello.
109
00:03:55,270 --> 00:03:57,819
Shamon is what Michael Jackson yells.
110
00:03:57,820 --> 00:03:59,409
Did you... hear what happened?
111
00:03:59,410 --> 00:04:01,359
No. Let's start over.
112
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,359
♪ Shamon! ♪
113
00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:06,149
I was... wundeling...
114
00:04:06,150 --> 00:04:09,166
uh, if you would like to
go on a date sometime.
115
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,419
God, we're really good friends.
116
00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:13,920
We sure are.
117
00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,422
You know, I took his
list of sex positions.
118
00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:18,099
- Read it!
- I got you.
119
00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:19,885
"Holdy rubby."
120
00:04:19,886 --> 00:04:22,259
"Sit and reach."
121
00:04:22,260 --> 00:04:23,839
"Squeezy fun fun."
122
00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:25,389
"Downward facing Will."
123
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:26,516
"66."
124
00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:32,249
So, yeah, Derek and Graham
are going to Ratso's,
125
00:04:32,250 --> 00:04:33,269
just the two of them.
126
00:04:33,270 --> 00:04:34,379
I'm being boxed out
127
00:04:34,380 --> 00:04:36,774
by a human I cooked up from scratch!
128
00:04:36,775 --> 00:04:38,419
How could I not see this coming?
129
00:04:38,420 --> 00:04:40,619
Graham's a guy. Derek's a guy.
130
00:04:40,620 --> 00:04:43,389
I'm not a guy. I can't compete
with blowing up toads
131
00:04:43,390 --> 00:04:44,739
and taking apart hot rods.
132
00:04:44,740 --> 00:04:46,179
Look, you've let Graham go,
133
00:04:46,180 --> 00:04:49,119
so now you just got to play through.
134
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:50,599
Mm!
135
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,459
Oh, God, this is terrible.
136
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:54,669
It tastes like Bigfoot's shampoo.
137
00:04:54,670 --> 00:04:56,529
I'm just gonna go to the farmers' market
138
00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:58,965
and let one of those
bra-less ladies help me out.
139
00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:01,499
Can I come? I need a distraction.
140
00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:03,386
It'll be... a Douglas day.
141
00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:05,239
You know, I'm embarrassed to admit it,
142
00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,040
but I could really use one of those.
143
00:05:07,050 --> 00:05:09,779
All right, kids, Angie and I are
going to the farmers' market,
144
00:05:09,780 --> 00:05:11,780
so Tony's in charge.
145
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:14,719
No way Douglas
146
00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:16,148
is sticking to eating healthy.
147
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,339
Yep. That's a wrap on Dad.
148
00:05:18,340 --> 00:05:19,489
He gone.
149
00:05:19,490 --> 00:05:21,489
But we'll survive.
150
00:05:21,490 --> 00:05:23,072
Even if we lose the house,
151
00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:25,239
we've got enough store
credit at Home Depot
152
00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,159
to make whatever we need.
153
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,579
But how are you gonna
get everything home?
154
00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:32,079
Whoa. We've never
really thought of that.
155
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,293
Dad's car does have a really big trunk.
156
00:05:34,294 --> 00:05:36,959
Oh, God. It's such a good trunk!
157
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,547
What if we lose the trunk?
158
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,800
What if I told you there was
a way to save your dad?
159
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,659
- And the trunk?!
- What about the trunk, man?
160
00:05:44,660 --> 00:05:46,339
Yes, and the trunk.
161
00:05:46,340 --> 00:05:49,320
We eat all the junk food before he can.
162
00:05:49,330 --> 00:05:53,019
Everything that's not a vegetable.
163
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,479
Ladies, to the icebox!
164
00:05:58,430 --> 00:06:00,059
- Poppy...
- Hmm?
165
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:01,861
... I don't really know what fire is.
166
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,079
You don't know what fire is?
167
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,620
Miggy, it's just...
168
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,780
Oh, God, I don't really know either.
169
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:09,827
See?
170
00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:11,569
Oh, thank goodness. I don't want
to think about this anymore.
171
00:06:11,570 --> 00:06:13,247
Will, how'd it go?
172
00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:15,409
I am so relieved.
173
00:06:15,410 --> 00:06:17,619
- I did it! I went on a first date!
- Yes!
174
00:06:17,620 --> 00:06:19,599
And on the way here,
I called my Gam-Gam to tell her,
175
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,260
and she does not know who I am.
176
00:06:21,270 --> 00:06:23,279
But anyway, thank you,
guys, for making me do that.
177
00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:24,619
Well, really sad for your family,
178
00:06:24,620 --> 00:06:26,460
- but glad you're back out there.
- Yeah!
179
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,859
Well, not actually back out there,
180
00:06:28,860 --> 00:06:32,309
because I have a serious girlfriend now.
181
00:06:33,130 --> 00:06:34,436
- How you mean?
- How you mean?
182
00:06:35,430 --> 00:06:38,179
♪ If you want the greenest beans ♪
183
00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:41,269
♪ Baby, there's a price to pay ♪
184
00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:43,819
♪ I'm a farmer in the market ♪
185
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:46,447
♪ Gonna buy all the broccoli ♪
186
00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:49,033
This doesn't feel like
a Douglas day so far.
187
00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:50,786
Where is this farmers' market?
188
00:06:52,540 --> 00:06:53,913
Ratso's?
189
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,900
Yeah. We were never gonna do your thing.
190
00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:58,840
All right.
191
00:06:58,860 --> 00:07:00,320
All right.
192
00:07:00,330 --> 00:07:02,294
"All right" as in "go in there"!
193
00:07:02,295 --> 00:07:04,359
- Check on Graham.
- Why am I going in?
194
00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:07,843
Because I don't want to be the
one breaking up their guys' day.
195
00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,379
Just go in there, order something,
196
00:07:09,380 --> 00:07:10,805
and pretend it's all a big coincidence.
197
00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:13,514
Come on! This is supposed
to be an Angie day!
198
00:07:13,515 --> 00:07:15,519
It's opposite. That's the opposite!
199
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:16,529
You know what?
200
00:07:16,530 --> 00:07:18,219
Other than living in
your house for weeks
201
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:19,379
and loaning me that five-thou,
202
00:07:19,380 --> 00:07:21,023
what have you ever done for me?
203
00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:23,689
Just grumble something
and get out of the car!
204
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:30,299
Whoa, whoa, whoa. So one
date and she's your girlfriend?
205
00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:32,099
Sure. She checks a lot of boxes.
206
00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:34,709
She works in applied
sciences, nice quiet sneeze,
207
00:07:34,710 --> 00:07:35,909
has a Great Dane.
208
00:07:35,910 --> 00:07:38,083
- Oh, can I have it?
- The Great Dane?
209
00:07:38,084 --> 00:07:39,099
Yeah.
210
00:07:39,100 --> 00:07:41,180
I'm gonna guess the answer's
no, but you can ask her.
211
00:07:42,210 --> 00:07:44,119
Oh, there she is. She was just parking.
212
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:47,919
Yeah, I guess you could
say my lady drives.
213
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,279
Okay, I got a bad feeling
about this, Miggy.
214
00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:52,059
I mean, don't you think
he's moving too fast?
215
00:07:52,060 --> 00:07:53,099
Maybe she's cool.
216
00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:55,259
Hey, maybe she can pick
stuff up with her toes.
217
00:07:55,260 --> 00:07:57,059
Ah. Yeah.
218
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:59,687
This is Miggy and Poppy.
219
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:01,898
- Hi.
- Kay.
220
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:03,689
I'm sorry?
221
00:08:03,690 --> 00:08:04,699
I'm Kay.
222
00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:06,539
Well, that's my middle name.
223
00:08:06,540 --> 00:08:08,579
My first name is Olivia.
224
00:08:08,580 --> 00:08:10,948
My coworkers call me OKay.
225
00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,492
That's hilarious.
226
00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:14,519
Why?
227
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:17,719
Um, Will tells us you
work in applied sciences.
228
00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:21,279
That's true. I work in a
protractor and ruler factory.
229
00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:23,002
I'm in charge of the markings.
230
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,421
That's something.
231
00:08:28,180 --> 00:08:31,129
So... do you have any hobbies?
232
00:08:31,130 --> 00:08:32,340
Yarn...
233
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:34,430
Mm.
234
00:08:35,660 --> 00:08:36,890
... and pebbles.
235
00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:38,642
Okay.
236
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:39,879
I'm going to cough.
237
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:42,147
Did it.
238
00:08:43,180 --> 00:08:46,060
Will, can we just talk to
you over here for a second?
239
00:08:46,068 --> 00:08:47,818
Sure. Are you gonna be all right?
240
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,779
I am going to drink some warm water.
241
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:50,789
That's great.
242
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:04,139
Okay, this is your serious girlfriend?
243
00:09:04,140 --> 00:09:05,819
Will, what was so great about this date?
244
00:09:05,820 --> 00:09:08,160
Well, first of all,
the movie was incredible.
245
00:09:08,170 --> 00:09:10,519
And second of all, I did
everything you told me to do...
246
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,299
the new shirts,
the first date questions.
247
00:09:12,300 --> 00:09:13,359
And now if I stay with her,
248
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:15,399
I never have to do any
of that ever again.
249
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:16,929
I don't want to go on
any more first dates.
250
00:09:16,930 --> 00:09:18,141
You saw how bad I was.
251
00:09:18,142 --> 00:09:19,279
You said "shamon" twice.
252
00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:21,079
I did. And she still went out with me.
253
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:22,709
I'm never gonna get that lucky again.
254
00:09:22,710 --> 00:09:25,354
Plus, you would not believe the
costume design in this film.
255
00:09:25,355 --> 00:09:27,609
It sounds like you really
just liked the movie.
256
00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:30,319
Oh, great. She's got a dribble going.
257
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,947
I'm gonna go get her a napkin.
258
00:09:33,180 --> 00:09:36,339
Okay. We better fix this.
259
00:09:36,340 --> 00:09:38,659
- Oh! I got an idea.
- What?
260
00:09:38,660 --> 00:09:41,610
It's not about this, but I
want to remember it later.
261
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,499
What took you so long?!
262
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:47,999
Oh, sorry. I got caught up
in the food for a second.
263
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,439
Do you realize that they
have an egg sandwich
264
00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:51,966
between two donuts?
265
00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:53,843
Did you check on Graham?
266
00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:57,012
Yeah, and I tell you this as a mentor
267
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:58,681
and a former landlord...
268
00:09:58,682 --> 00:10:01,469
you do not want to go in there.
269
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:05,349
So that's a turkey leg biscuit,
270
00:10:05,350 --> 00:10:07,760
a Chinese chicken salad
sandwich croissant,
271
00:10:07,770 --> 00:10:09,599
and a small curry fries.
272
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,119
Up-sell him on the ketchup.
273
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:14,759
You want ketchup with that?
Only fifty cents a pack.
274
00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:16,329
You won't regret it.
275
00:10:16,330 --> 00:10:17,825
That'll be $48.50.
276
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,535
Please pull up to the rat.
277
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:22,099
Up-sell!
278
00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:23,831
- Oh, hey, Mom!
- Hey!
279
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:27,042
Big news... they made
Graham an honorary Fatso.
280
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,879
That's what we call all the employees.
281
00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:31,239
This is the best day of my life.
282
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,120
I'm flying!
283
00:10:34,630 --> 00:10:36,620
It's worse than I thought.
284
00:10:36,630 --> 00:10:38,471
He likes his dad better than me.
285
00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:40,320
I tried to warn you.
286
00:10:40,330 --> 00:10:42,267
God, I love food.
287
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,199
This can't be good.
288
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,059
I'm sweating cookies!
289
00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:49,065
We still have to eat all
the mayonnaise and butter.
290
00:10:49,070 --> 00:10:51,060
You know what we need?
291
00:10:51,070 --> 00:10:53,819
We need reinforcements.
We got to get the big guns.
292
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,229
Beefy Steve. Hungry Franklin.
293
00:10:56,230 --> 00:10:58,320
Oh, my God, it's happening.
294
00:10:58,330 --> 00:10:59,701
I'm throwing a dinner party.
295
00:10:59,702 --> 00:11:00,979
Cool your jets, Banks.
296
00:11:00,980 --> 00:11:04,060
If we throw a party,
our dad will dump a brick.
297
00:11:04,070 --> 00:11:05,819
And if you don't, he'll die,
298
00:11:05,820 --> 00:11:07,583
and you can kiss your trunk goodbye.
299
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:10,169
Fine. But keep it small.
300
00:11:12,220 --> 00:11:13,719
Sounding great, Tony.
301
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,779
Beefy Steve! You are
looking black Angus prime.
302
00:11:16,780 --> 00:11:19,279
Rocco, where do you hide all that relish
303
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:20,289
you're throwing down?
304
00:11:20,290 --> 00:11:23,140
Louisa, you are grace.
305
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:25,893
May I take this home to my owl?
306
00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:27,719
Yeah, sure. Why not?
307
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,340
Not only are pebbles
and gravel different,
308
00:11:30,350 --> 00:11:34,239
but straw and hay are
different, as well.
309
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:37,709
Here's the thing, though...
when you think of hay...
310
00:11:37,710 --> 00:11:40,549
the thick kind that you see in a barn...
311
00:11:40,550 --> 00:11:43,799
that's actually straw.
312
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,719
Hay is the dried grass you see
313
00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:48,089
tied up in bales in the fields.
314
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:52,319
Are we dead?
315
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,979
You know what? I have
to run to the bathroom.
316
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:55,069
Got to make some front water.
317
00:11:55,070 --> 00:11:56,079
You guys keep talking.
318
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,640
Sorry. I got so off track.
319
00:11:58,650 --> 00:12:00,739
Oh. I was talking about yarn.
320
00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:04,010
- Oh, no.
- So, yarn can be long...
321
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:06,009
Actually, Kay, let's
talk about you and Will.
322
00:12:06,010 --> 00:12:07,351
I want to get on board,
323
00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:08,853
but this just seems all
really quick to me.
324
00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:10,769
Yes. We are in it.
325
00:12:10,770 --> 00:12:13,599
Yeah, so, Will is in a
very fragile place,
326
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,485
and I just want to know
that you really like him.
327
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,570
Yeah. He's fine.
328
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:19,697
He's fine?
329
00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:21,782
Well, I mean he's no Tom Bergeron...
330
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:24,079
- Who dat?
- ... but he seems reliable.
331
00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:25,240
Like a potato,
332
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:29,129
just like a blank blob that I
can season however I want.
333
00:12:29,130 --> 00:12:30,459
A potato?
334
00:12:30,460 --> 00:12:32,179
Honey, hi. No way.
335
00:12:32,180 --> 00:12:34,586
Will is not a fine potato.
He is a prince.
336
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:35,969
He is an archduke.
337
00:12:35,970 --> 00:12:37,507
You're fine. You're the fine one.
338
00:12:37,508 --> 00:12:38,739
You are done here.
339
00:12:38,740 --> 00:12:41,009
We are breaking up with you.
Will is not gonna settle.
340
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,053
- So scootch!
- Scootch!
341
00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:44,847
'Kay.
342
00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:46,979
Oh, but can I have your Great Dane?
343
00:12:48,220 --> 00:12:50,519
No?! Awful woman.
344
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,354
Where's my best gal?
345
00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:54,219
Look, there's good news and
there's bad news, right?
346
00:12:54,220 --> 00:12:57,024
The good news is, we broke
up with her for you.
347
00:12:57,025 --> 00:12:58,760
- What?!
- Yeah, but the bad news is,
348
00:12:58,770 --> 00:13:00,529
I still ain't got no Great Dane.
349
00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:02,489
Guys, how could you?
350
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:05,201
It had to be done, Will.
You can do so much better.
351
00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:08,959
Look, she may not be the most
interesting woman in the world,
352
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,749
but I learned more about pebbles
from her than any of you.
353
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,960
And maybe that's enough for
this lonely weatherman.
354
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:15,919
I'm Will Cooper.
355
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,297
Are you signing off on us?
356
00:13:17,298 --> 00:13:18,839
You're damn right I am.
357
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,139
Shamon, guys.
358
00:13:21,140 --> 00:13:23,218
Shamon.
359
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:25,879
Man, you were right.
I wish I hadn't seen this.
360
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,931
I know you're freaking
out, and I get it,
361
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,079
but he's leaving tonight.
362
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:30,768
This is only for an afternoon.
363
00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:34,089
Hell, you could survive a lizard
making a nest in your ass
364
00:13:34,090 --> 00:13:36,022
if it's only for an afternoon.
365
00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:38,919
I'm not really sure when
that situation would arise,
366
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,659
but... I guess I can see your point.
367
00:13:41,660 --> 00:13:43,160
Mom, check it out.
368
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:45,739
They have trash cans you can
put your whole arm into
369
00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:47,159
because the flap hinges up!
370
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,419
Cool.
371
00:13:48,420 --> 00:13:52,079
And, um, looks like you got
your own small uniform.
372
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,399
Oh, yeah. It's still a little big on me,
373
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,449
but today I'm Tiny Tina.
374
00:13:56,450 --> 00:13:58,419
There used to be a woman
that worked here named Tina,
375
00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:01,659
and she was real small,
so we called her Tiny Tina.
376
00:14:01,660 --> 00:14:04,620
- You actually called her that?
- Yeah, it's not great,
377
00:14:04,630 --> 00:14:07,419
but there was also another Tina,
and she was, well, heavy,
378
00:14:07,420 --> 00:14:09,339
and we did not want
to call her Big Tina.
379
00:14:09,340 --> 00:14:12,459
So sort of found ourselves
backed into a corner.
380
00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:13,469
Check it out.
381
00:14:13,470 --> 00:14:15,889
I put Graham on the schedule
every other weekend.
382
00:14:15,890 --> 00:14:17,479
So I'll come down to L.A. twice a month.
383
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:20,815
And Graham is gonna become
a permanent honorary Fatso.
384
00:14:20,816 --> 00:14:21,983
If he wants, he can even see
385
00:14:21,984 --> 00:14:23,655
where we keep Mr. Ratso's bones.
386
00:14:23,656 --> 00:14:24,779
Wow!
387
00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:26,939
Yeah. Hoh.
388
00:14:26,940 --> 00:14:29,369
That... just gonna be
the two of you, huh?
389
00:14:29,370 --> 00:14:32,029
Together, doing your thing!
390
00:14:32,030 --> 00:14:33,479
Without me!
391
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,049
Indefinitely.
392
00:14:35,050 --> 00:14:36,630
That's so...
393
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:40,319
- ... fun.
- Can you believe it, Mom?
394
00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:41,839
I get to be Tina the Fatso!
395
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,050
Oh, no, no, no. We take great
care never to say that.
396
00:14:44,740 --> 00:14:48,553
You know, I realize we're in a
delicate family situation here,
397
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:51,339
but I ordered the onion
tenders about 20 minutes ago
398
00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:53,810
and just want to make
sure they're coming.
399
00:14:54,740 --> 00:14:57,229
I never should have let
this weekend happen.
400
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,909
Suddenly, Derek's Graham's hero,
401
00:14:58,910 --> 00:15:01,119
and I'm just the roommate, chauffeur,
402
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:02,760
and shoelace coach.
403
00:15:02,770 --> 00:15:05,447
How does that child still not
know how to tie his shoes?
404
00:15:05,448 --> 00:15:06,460
It's insane.
405
00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:08,139
I guess I'm just old news.
406
00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:12,519
Just the same old mom, singing
the same old song since 2011.
407
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:15,260
♪ Doo Ba Dee doo, wipe yourself ♪
408
00:15:15,270 --> 00:15:17,666
♪ Doo Ba Dee doo,
where's your sweatshirt? ♪
409
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,543
Yeah, I agree that's not a chart topper.
410
00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:23,069
Look, Derek is just
the shiny new object.
411
00:15:23,070 --> 00:15:25,439
Everything that's new is shiny, right?
412
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:28,209
Cars, apples, polished coconuts.
413
00:15:28,210 --> 00:15:31,439
But you... you're the constant.
414
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:33,939
You're the rock, Angie.
415
00:15:33,940 --> 00:15:36,810
And he'll always come back to you.
416
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:39,719
Pfft. That was...
417
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,249
beautiful.
418
00:15:41,250 --> 00:15:42,589
Where did that come from?
419
00:15:42,590 --> 00:15:44,489
I don't know, probably Poppy.
420
00:15:44,490 --> 00:15:46,359
She's...
421
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,864
rubbing off on me, isn't she?
422
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:50,689
Eh, what the hell am I doing?
423
00:15:50,690 --> 00:15:53,495
I promised her I'd cut
all this stuff out.
424
00:15:53,496 --> 00:15:55,999
I owe her that much.
425
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,939
Douglas, thank you.
426
00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:03,040
Oh. All right.
427
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:07,670
Here. Let me just...
428
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:09,460
There we go.
429
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:11,949
Hey, buddy.
430
00:16:11,950 --> 00:16:13,222
Oh. Hey, Mom.
431
00:16:13,223 --> 00:16:14,819
I'm taking my fifteen.
432
00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:17,219
They said Tiny Tina used
to smoke on her breaks,
433
00:16:17,220 --> 00:16:19,895
but I'm just bouncing this
burger against the wall.
434
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,240
Check this out.
435
00:16:23,790 --> 00:16:25,400
That's wonderful.
436
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:28,939
Hey, listen. Um,
I wanted to talk to you.
437
00:16:28,940 --> 00:16:29,979
I just wanted you to know
438
00:16:29,980 --> 00:16:32,939
that if you want to come
here every other week,
439
00:16:32,940 --> 00:16:34,451
I fully support it.
440
00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:37,829
Great. It'll be super cool
to hang out with Derek.
441
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,609
Normally on Saturdays,
I'd just be home with you,
442
00:16:40,610 --> 00:16:42,609
recharging my batteries.
443
00:16:42,610 --> 00:16:45,796
Which is kind of the cornerstone
of my self-care routine.
444
00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:47,589
But things change.
445
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:49,925
The whole world is
spinning all the time.
446
00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:51,260
Oh, God.
447
00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:53,220
My throat feels tight.
448
00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:55,119
Oh. Okay. It's all right.
449
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:58,100
Buddy, look, don't black out on me.
450
00:16:58,101 --> 00:17:01,354
You don't have to do anything
you don't want to do.
451
00:17:01,355 --> 00:17:03,819
But I want Derek to like me.
452
00:17:03,820 --> 00:17:05,775
I don't want him to leave again.
453
00:17:07,100 --> 00:17:08,720
Oh, man.
454
00:17:09,770 --> 00:17:11,489
You just got me right in the gut.
455
00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:16,199
Look, your dad cares about you... a lot.
456
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:17,369
I-It might take a minute
457
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:20,659
for us to figure out how
he fits into our family,
458
00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:22,999
but... we'll get there.
459
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,539
No matter what, I am
not leaving your side.
460
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,220
Hey. I've been looking for you guys.
461
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,399
Actually, this is the
first place I looked.
462
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:38,682
I don't know why I said that.
463
00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:40,939
Anyways, about this weekend thing...
464
00:17:40,940 --> 00:17:43,769
Yeah. We should talk about that.
465
00:17:43,770 --> 00:17:45,469
Angie, I could tell from your
face the moment I said it
466
00:17:45,470 --> 00:17:46,482
that I'd overstepped.
467
00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:48,839
Now, I was thinking a lot about it
468
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:50,239
while I was getting
hair out of the fryer,
469
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:51,699
and it was not cool of me to do that
470
00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:53,229
without talking to you first.
471
00:17:53,230 --> 00:17:55,319
I should never have put either
of you in that position.
472
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:56,519
Oh.
473
00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:58,419
Thank you.
474
00:17:58,420 --> 00:18:00,829
I'm really glad the hair in
the fryer got you there.
475
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:04,373
I'm new to parenting, and you
guys are already a family.
476
00:18:04,374 --> 00:18:05,819
Like me and my turtle.
477
00:18:05,820 --> 00:18:07,239
Except we spend more time together,
478
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:08,546
because she doesn't go to school.
479
00:18:08,550 --> 00:18:11,439
But I don't want to force
my way into anything.
480
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:12,999
So...
481
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,637
why don't we take a beat
on the whole Ratso's idea?
482
00:18:15,638 --> 00:18:16,879
That sounds right.
483
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:17,899
But I'm sure gonna miss
484
00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:20,850
working next to Greece's
biggest blueberry hero.
485
00:18:21,710 --> 00:18:23,739
I'm no hero.
486
00:18:23,740 --> 00:18:27,260
Your mom just said that
so you wouldn't hate me.
487
00:18:27,270 --> 00:18:29,519
I'm not a good blueberry
scientist at all.
488
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:32,736
I actually really let Greece down.
489
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:35,349
I abandoned the...
490
00:18:35,350 --> 00:18:39,139
Picker's Guild when they needed me most.
491
00:18:39,140 --> 00:18:41,162
If you want a hero,
you look at your mom,
492
00:18:41,170 --> 00:18:44,956
'cause while I was off, just
gunkin' up the berry paddies,
493
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,869
Angie was taking care of you every day.
494
00:18:47,870 --> 00:18:49,859
If we're being honest,
495
00:18:49,860 --> 00:18:52,131
I don't even really like blueberries.
496
00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:54,100
God, you're a straight shooter.
497
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:59,930
Listen, I'll be around
anytime you want to see me.
498
00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:01,889
And for the record,
499
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:04,185
you're a beast on the
drive-through headset.
500
00:19:11,490 --> 00:19:14,277
Oh, God. You guys are both so greasy.
501
00:19:18,660 --> 00:19:20,283
Hey. How ya doin', Will?
502
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:22,370
Will? Will?
503
00:19:22,390 --> 00:19:24,454
Will? Will?
504
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:26,579
- Will, you mad? Will?!
- Shh!
505
00:19:26,580 --> 00:19:28,166
- I don't think it's him.
- Of course it's me!
506
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,501
I'm not talking to you.
507
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,139
You broke up with Kay for me.
508
00:19:31,140 --> 00:19:32,671
Quiet, please.
509
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,192
Okay, come on, Miggy. Let's go.
510
00:19:35,450 --> 00:19:38,459
Will, we're really sorry, okay?
511
00:19:38,460 --> 00:19:40,640
We were just trying to look out for you.
512
00:19:40,650 --> 00:19:43,209
You can't just settle for the first
person you go on a date with.
513
00:19:43,210 --> 00:19:45,726
Why not? She was fine.
514
00:19:45,727 --> 00:19:47,089
She was a warm body.
515
00:19:47,090 --> 00:19:49,459
Now I have to go back out
there with the shirts
516
00:19:49,460 --> 00:19:51,819
and the questions, like,
"Should we go see jazz?"
517
00:19:51,820 --> 00:19:53,039
or, "Should we get red or white?
518
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:54,219
Oh, you like red?
519
00:19:54,220 --> 00:19:56,152
Well, I'm a white guy."
And... bl-bl-bl-bl-bl.
520
00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:57,519
Deep down,
521
00:19:57,520 --> 00:19:59,469
you know Kay wasn't the one.
522
00:19:59,470 --> 00:20:00,824
She's not generous.
523
00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:03,019
You're gonna find someone who
can see how great you are.
524
00:20:03,020 --> 00:20:04,939
And until then, you need a warm body,
525
00:20:04,940 --> 00:20:06,789
- you got Miggy and me.
- Yeah.
526
00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:08,539
I guess you're right.
527
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,089
Thank you.
528
00:20:10,090 --> 00:20:11,099
But just to be clear,
529
00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:12,919
when you say you'll be
a warm body for me...
530
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,379
- Mm-hmm.
- ... you don't mean that you'll...
531
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:16,215
- What are you doing?
- It's... a conversation.
532
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:17,249
Shh!
533
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:18,990
Hey! You shh!
534
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,170
Oh, nachos. Can I have those?
535
00:20:21,940 --> 00:20:24,299
Beefy Steve,
536
00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:26,059
if you're not eating your pimentos,
537
00:20:26,060 --> 00:20:27,893
then you have not finished your olives!
538
00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,719
And, Franklin,
539
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,799
still can't see the bottom
of that mayonnaise jar.
540
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,482
I don't think I can eat
any more mayonnaise.
541
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:36,486
Eat it, Franklin!
542
00:20:37,810 --> 00:20:39,404
What's going on here?
543
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:41,379
Dad, please don't get mad.
544
00:20:41,380 --> 00:20:43,784
We're eating all the
food so you don't die.
545
00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:45,939
Oh, girls, I'm not gonna die.
546
00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:48,279
We were afraid of
losing the trunk space.
547
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,665
Yeah. It can fit a ton of stuff.
548
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:52,189
Oh, that is so sweet.
549
00:20:52,190 --> 00:20:54,279
I honestly thought nobody noticed
550
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:57,080
what a big trunk that car has.
551
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,729
All right. Listen up, everybody.
552
00:20:58,730 --> 00:21:00,139
The girls are right.
553
00:21:00,140 --> 00:21:02,779
You got to finish everything,
or else I'll eat it.
554
00:21:02,780 --> 00:21:04,050
So keep going.
555
00:21:04,055 --> 00:21:07,140
Mr. Fogerty, please no.
556
00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:09,726
Eat the mayonnaise, Franklin.
557
00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:19,070
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