1 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,103 Oh! Hi there. [chuckles 2 00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:19,351 Jamal Turner here, or "Toxic Turner" to my detractors. 3 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,230 But sometimes, 4 00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:26,283 you have to be toxic to rid our campus of poison. 5 00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:28,189 That's what leaders do. 6 00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:31,318 Has this leader ever said, "Bitches be bonkers"? 7 00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:35,036 Hell yeah, 'cause we can all be bitches. 8 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:41,582 Even I have been a bitch at times. 9 00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:45,246 And I am bonkers about improving our school! 10 00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:50,343 It is possible. 11 00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:53,184 Because at the end of the day, 12 00:00:53,261 --> 00:00:56,851 a strong Freeridge High is a united one. 13 00:00:57,515 --> 00:00:59,555 Let me get that for you, Principal Richardson. 14 00:01:05,648 --> 00:01:10,818 So please, today, don't forget to vote. 15 00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:13,239 Because you know who doesn't vote? 16 00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:15,696 Bitches. 17 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:20,906 Bitches. 18 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:25,632 See? It's not so bad. We beat him into submission. 19 00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:26,710 No. 20 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:30,295 We're slinging mud, and he's using it to make a mud mask. 21 00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:32,301 His skin is glowing. 22 00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:34,053 What? I don't see no shine. 23 00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:37,755 He's taking the high road, which is exactly what I wanted to do, 24 00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:40,137 but instead, I'm the troll under the bridge. 25 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:42,595 A bully. An asshole. Thanks to you. 26 00:01:42,685 --> 00:01:43,515 Me? 27 00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,733 I told you not to release the Toxic Turner spot. 28 00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:48,484 As your campaign manager, I have to make the hard calls. 29 00:01:48,566 --> 00:01:50,856 -That is what you hired me for. -I didn't hire you! 30 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,284 I also did that for you. 31 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:54,412 And… this. 32 00:01:55,031 --> 00:01:57,411 -What is it? -Our nuclear option for the debate. 33 00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:00,752 No. 34 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,119 I'm sticking to the issues. 35 00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:06,879 -And swag. -No. Tsk. 36 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,090 No swag. I thought about it. It just makes you look desperate. 37 00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:11,091 That's bullshit. 38 00:02:11,172 --> 00:02:13,172 People open bank accounts for free T-shirts. 39 00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:14,758 Speaking of which… 40 00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:23,480 Hey. 41 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:24,980 What have we learned? 42 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:26,812 You're not a puppet. 43 00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:29,476 Good. 44 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,871 -Hey. -Oh shit, man. 45 00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:45,544 You got orange slices in that mom-mobile? 46 00:02:46,082 --> 00:02:48,502 Shit. Thought I was getting rolled up on by some kids. 47 00:02:51,045 --> 00:02:55,005 Look, man. I shouldn't be here, so let's go. Talk. 48 00:02:55,091 --> 00:02:56,341 Look. 49 00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:57,836 I get that you're salty. 50 00:02:57,927 --> 00:03:00,307 Out of sight, out of mind. You're not even a thing. 51 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,470 This was a bad idea. 52 00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:05,522 They found her. 53 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,647 Cuchillos? 54 00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:11,362 They don't know who she is yet, 55 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:14,648 but when they do, you know what's gonna happen. 56 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,026 I need you to look out for my brother. 57 00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:20,664 Why? He's been handling his own. 58 00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:22,832 Really? By not telling you? 59 00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:26,079 -He knows. -He never said shit to me. 60 00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:28,214 'Cause he doesn't understand the way things work. 61 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:31,958 He has no idea what's coming. The shit that's about to pop off. 62 00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:35,968 And he's not the only one it can land on. 63 00:03:41,512 --> 00:03:42,722 I got you, man. 64 00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:48,980 Well, this is a very unusual situation. 65 00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,396 We'll use this debate as a teaching moment, 66 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:53,821 so thank you to our AP Government teachers. 67 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,356 All right? 68 00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:57,654 Just me? Okay. 69 00:03:57,737 --> 00:04:01,817 No one's here. I can't believe no one cares about the future of our school. 70 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:05,658 They do. They just also really wanna watch Hal Olofsson do magic in the gym. 71 00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:06,995 This is a waste of time. 72 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,920 You don't know that. These could be pivotal swing voters. 73 00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:12,129 Please welcome candidate Ruben Martinez. 74 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,210 -Just in case. 75 00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:20,635 Whoo-whoo! Ruby! Ruby! Ruby! Ruby! Ruby! Ruby! Ruby! Ru-- 76 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:25,219 Now, please welcome candidate Jamal Turner. 77 00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:54,415 Fellow Quakes, Jamal's got you. 78 00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:08,428 All right. Settle down. 79 00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:12,596 Candidates, what is the biggest issue facing students today? 80 00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,148 School safety. 81 00:05:18,943 --> 00:05:21,863 We need more security guards and crosswalks. 82 00:05:21,946 --> 00:05:23,866 'Cause people can't see you over their dashboards? 83 00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:25,868 'Cause you're little! 84 00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:29,000 -And we need a dress code. 85 00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:32,118 So no one is targeted for wearing the wrong colors. 86 00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:35,746 Dress code? Coming from the guy whose girlfriend dresses him. 87 00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:36,915 Whipped! 88 00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:40,472 For the record, people, he picked out his shirt today. 89 00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:43,548 I wanted to go with the green to highlight his eyes. 90 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:47,512 And we need new textbooks 91 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,307 to reflect the true history of our country. 92 00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:51,521 Books. 93 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,641 More homework. Hmm? 94 00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:57,898 Some of us have other things and people to do. 95 00:05:57,982 --> 00:05:59,282 -Sex! 96 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,319 -Come on, man. Play fair. -Fine! 97 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,648 Let's talk about performance. 98 00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:06,032 Yes, please. 99 00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:08,739 Or lack thereof. 100 00:06:09,952 --> 00:06:13,252 Freeridge needs someone who can stand up for them, 101 00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:19,133 someone who can come through in a clutch, 102 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:23,422 someone who won't go soft in the heat of the moment. 103 00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:26,178 How's he gonna satisfy y'all 104 00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:31,390 when he had to bring in another girl to satisfy his own girlfriend? 105 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,693 Who has a threesome and can't get some? 106 00:06:46,697 --> 00:06:47,527 I'm done. 107 00:06:48,032 --> 00:06:48,872 I concede. 108 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:51,330 Wait, seriously? You're not even gonna wait for the vote? 109 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,411 No. You got this in the bag. 110 00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:55,916 You took my votes and my dignity. 111 00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:56,868 Congrats. 112 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:00,462 What happened to you? 113 00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:06,881 We could've used this. 114 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,226 There's still time to undo this. 115 00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:21,272 We can look into election rigging. Or…or… Russian bots. 116 00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:23,067 No, it's done. 117 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:25,571 And I bet those gift certificates are a campaign violation. 118 00:07:29,073 --> 00:07:30,453 -What is it? 119 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,833 It's my tía Lupe. She's gotta leave early. 120 00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:34,080 I gotta watch my dad… 121 00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:36,832 -Oh, then you should go home. -And leave you at your lowest point? 122 00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:39,044 It's low, but it's not rock bottom. 123 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:42,545 Ay, baby, your ex-BFF just shattered your dreams 124 00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:44,628 and used those shards to stab you in the back, 125 00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,424 leaving you to emotionally bleed out. 126 00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:48,007 How is that not rock bottom? 127 00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:50,642 -Well, when you put it that way… 128 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:54,140 Which is why I need to stay here and help you process the fact 129 00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:55,933 that he murdered you out there. 130 00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,557 Okay, that's a little extreme. 131 00:07:57,643 --> 00:07:59,063 So was what Jamal did. 132 00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:01,555 Let me call my cousin Beto to watch my dad. 133 00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:02,937 You really don't have to. 134 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,444 Yes, I do. 135 00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:06,775 Baby, you may not be at rock bottom now, 136 00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,319 pero you're on your way. 137 00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,662 That's what I was afraid of. 138 00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:21,084 I was too harsh. 139 00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:23,835 Or was I too harsh? 140 00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:27,971 You know, maybe I'm being too hard on myself. 141 00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:30,549 Or not hard enough. 142 00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:34,893 Maybe we shouldn't be doing this while I'm the only one talking. 143 00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:35,972 Let's talk. 144 00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:39,137 You know, like, get to know each other 145 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:42,557 'cause I don't know anything about you, and I wanna know you. 146 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:43,477 Mmm. 147 00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:46,154 -I wanna understand who you are, Ashley. -Aaliyah. 148 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,614 -Oh my God. 149 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:51,204 Aaliyah. See, this is what I'm talking about. 150 00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,784 -I don't even know your name. 151 00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:57,196 I used to have deep, meaningful relationships. 152 00:08:57,286 --> 00:09:03,246 And now I can't think of one relationship where I feel understood or connected. 153 00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:07,384 We were connected a little while ago, but you asked me to stop. 154 00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:11,513 I feel like everything in my life is shallow and superficial. 155 00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:13,182 Like I'm not tethered to anything. 156 00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:16,761 Like my life is just a series of meaningless encounters. 157 00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:18,467 -You ever feel like that? -Yes! 158 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,228 I just hit 10K on TikTok! 159 00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:27,323 Do you mind giving me a ride? 160 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,240 Not at all. 161 00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:31,778 Oh! No, not like that. 162 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:35,780 -Oh. -Like in your car. 163 00:09:35,866 --> 00:09:37,156 -Okay. -Yeah. 164 00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:40,203 I've never had a problem putting him in his place before. 165 00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:42,788 But I was in the fog of war after the debate. 166 00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:44,463 He attacked, and I retreated. 167 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,292 Baby, you gotta stop beating yourself up. 168 00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:48,087 I'm not beating myself up anymore. 169 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:50,720 I'm gonna be beating him up! And down! 170 00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:51,758 And sideways! 171 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,881 'Cause when I see him, oh, it's on. 172 00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:55,888 Oh, you go, baby! You kick his ass! 173 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:58,350 Verbally. I'm talking verbal assault, not physical. 174 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,851 Of course. I'd kick his ass, but you'd probably lose. 175 00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:04,603 -So yeah, stick with the verbal. -Okay, not helpful, but here it goes. 176 00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:07,727 First of all, Jamal, short jokes are low-hanging fruit. 177 00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:09,935 Yeah, 'cause even if it's true, it's a cheap joke. 178 00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:13,146 And, Jamal, Toxic Turner is not a compliment 179 00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:16,527 but rather a commentary on how you've been acting for the last two years. 180 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,616 Agreed, but I will say it was a clever spin on his part. 181 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:22,292 How the hell did he find out about this threesome? 182 00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:24,711 Uh… that girl doesn't even go to our school. 183 00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:26,960 If I didn't say something and you didn't say something… 184 00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:29,133 I may have said something. 185 00:10:29,211 --> 00:10:31,511 -To Jamal? -No, not Jamal! 186 00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:34,513 But I had to tell someone. It was eating away at me. 187 00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:37,262 Oh, like I loved harboring a dark secret? 188 00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:38,885 So maybe we should talk about it. 189 00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:41,141 No, I don't wanna talk about it. 190 00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:42,393 Now or ever. 191 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,265 You sure? You seem really defeated. 192 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:45,352 I'm good. 193 00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:46,516 And you should go. 194 00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:51,275 -What? -Ugh! 195 00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:54,696 Wow. 196 00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:57,235 Nothing's changed. 197 00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,123 Except for you, asshole. 198 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,700 Well, good to see you too. 199 00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:03,542 So… uh… Ruby, I'm having a… 200 00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:08,214 I'm having a victory party later. I just wanted to extend an invite. 201 00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:10,291 Why would we go? 202 00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:12,708 To celebrate your two-week dream of being president? 203 00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:14,547 Whatever. I was trying to be nice. 204 00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:15,842 Jas, can I speak to Jamal? 205 00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:19,385 You don't tell people you're being nice. You just are. And you aren't. 206 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,640 For the record, Ruby would rather jerk off with sandpaper 207 00:11:21,722 --> 00:11:23,272 than go to your lame-ass party. 208 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,479 Ugh! Uh… Ruby, when can we talk? 209 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:26,939 He doesn't wanna talk to you. 210 00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:29,359 You may be fooling everyone else, but we know who you are. 211 00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:32,398 Which includes being a pathetic public debater 212 00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:34,943 'cause short jokes, while funny, are low-hanging fruit. 213 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,408 Toxic Turner is apropos to how you've been acting. 214 00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:42,869 So go to your party, chug your beers, and slap each other's dicks, ya dick. 215 00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:45,002 Okay, fine! Don't come to my party. 216 00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:53,381 You're welcome. 217 00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:55,801 I know. I verbally gummi-beared his ass. 218 00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:59,971 One, I don't know what that means, and two, you're talking for me again. 219 00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,932 I didn't get to say anything I wanted to say. 220 00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:03,012 But I said it for you. 221 00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:04,387 It's not the same thing. 222 00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:08,064 But he didn't even apologize. He just invited you to a party. 223 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:12,024 I know, which is why I need to go to that party and demand my apology. 224 00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:13,476 -Fine, we can go. -No! 225 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,316 I don't need your permission. 226 00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:16,651 I'm going solo. 227 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:27,079 In a couple hours. When it's dark out. 228 00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:29,253 'Cause that's when parties usually start. 229 00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:36,632 Isn't this adorable? 230 00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:37,844 It is adorable, 231 00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:40,259 and I have no idea what it is. 232 00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:41,761 A blanket. 233 00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:44,474 To swaddle her like a little tortilla. 234 00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:46,555 Like a little burrito. 235 00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,347 Are we really gonna dress our kid up like a burrito? 236 00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:52,313 A little on-the-head, no? 237 00:12:52,396 --> 00:12:54,016 Why not um… a sushi roll? 238 00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:55,566 -Or a gyro? 239 00:12:56,066 --> 00:12:57,986 -What? What? -Oh my God! Oh my God! 240 00:12:59,028 --> 00:12:59,988 She just kicked. 241 00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:23,588 Get the hell away from the window! Get down! 242 00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:26,847 -Stay here until I come back, okay? 243 00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:31,937 What the hell do you think you're doing? 244 00:13:39,151 --> 00:13:40,901 Hey, you didn't think I'd find out? 245 00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:45,696 You don't think I can handle my own shit? That I don't know what I'm doing? 246 00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:47,033 That's not what I said. 247 00:13:47,117 --> 00:13:51,247 No, what you said is that I don't know how shit works. 248 00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:53,577 That I don't see what's coming. 249 00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:56,881 Let me ask you something, damn clown. 250 00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:01,005 You see this coming? 251 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:04,510 It's time to mind your own business. Good luck in Portland. 252 00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:06,135 Cesar… 253 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,100 this isn't who you are. 254 00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:11,175 You don't know who I am. 255 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,351 You're no longer a Santo. 256 00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:15,856 This isn't your world anymore. 257 00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:17,862 Yeah. 258 00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:21,398 I'm getting that message loud and clear. 259 00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:23,821 Step off. 260 00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:28,277 You heard me. 261 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:31,325 Step… off. 262 00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:34,457 Is that a threat? 263 00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:35,877 No. 264 00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:38,040 It's a warning. 265 00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:40,378 Next time, 266 00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:42,840 it won't be the car. 267 00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:57,395 Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! 268 00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:59,189 Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug… 269 00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:13,872 This is lame. 270 00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:15,964 Right? Are you feelin' it? 271 00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:20,375 -Totally. -So lame, like… what's the point? 272 00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,671 The point is lame beer still gets you drunk. 273 00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:24,877 I gotta give it up to ya. 274 00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:28,005 First MVP, now class president. 275 00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:30,217 Proud to call you my best friend. 276 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:31,724 -Really? -Yeah, man. 277 00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:33,345 I would do anything for you. 278 00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:36,636 Yeah? You would take a bullet for me? 279 00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:38,478 Hell yeah. 280 00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:39,652 Why? 281 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,360 'Cause you're my bro, man. 282 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,440 The closest thing I have to a brother. 283 00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:44,565 And I have two. 284 00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:47,402 -Would you ever kill someone for me? -Lock-and-load. 285 00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:48,698 -Tsk. -Let's do this. 286 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,281 You would really do that? 287 00:15:51,158 --> 00:15:52,118 No. 288 00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:56,661 Wow. This is a really deep conversation. 289 00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,371 It is? 290 00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:01,883 -I feel like I really know you. -What's my middle name? 291 00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:04,714 That is a trick question. 292 00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:06,295 You don't have one. 293 00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:12,888 Hey, man. Where you going? 294 00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:15,849 I gotta apologize to my friend. 295 00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,893 No, you don't, man. We're cool. 296 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,977 You may be cool, but I'm not. 297 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,860 And by the way, it's Terry. 298 00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:27,696 Excuse me. Sorry. 299 00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:37,790 -What are you doing here? -I'm celebrating. 300 00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:39,211 But you're a never-Jamaler. 301 00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:43,459 I'm celebrating… free drinks. 302 00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:46,756 -Wait, what you doing here? -Have you seen Jamal? 303 00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:58,976 Hey! Nobody in the house. 304 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:01,733 Ruby. 305 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,983 Been way too long. How are you? 306 00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:09,526 I'm, uh… you know, good? 307 00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:11,281 Never thought I'd see you here after the election. 308 00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:13,163 -I never thought I'd be here. -Hmm. 309 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,410 But… uh… 310 00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:19,082 I need to tell your son… how much of an asshole he is. 311 00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:27,673 Please. And while you're at it, check his friends too. 312 00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:31,045 -Oh, you mean his hype squad? -No, more like his shit squad. 313 00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:35,143 Why do these kids feel the need to treat my bathroom like a Home Depot? 314 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,140 And the size of the poop. 315 00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:39,978 My God, it's like a fiber fest. 316 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,899 If it was you or Cesar or Monse, I wouldn't give a shit. Pun not intended. 317 00:17:42,978 --> 00:17:45,478 But they give so many shits. I can't help but give one. 318 00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:47,824 -No respect. -You can say that again. 319 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:51,610 And if I get called "bro" or "bruh" or "brother man" one more time, 320 00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:52,695 I'm gonna lose it. 321 00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:54,487 I am a grown-ass man. 322 00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:58,203 You know, I have other interests besides football. 323 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:03,418 -How 'bout asking me about The Bachelor? -Oh! Sounds therapeutic. 324 00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,789 You have no idea. 325 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:11,376 I mean, his new friends are annoying, rude-ass toilet terrorists. 326 00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,548 I miss my weird kid. 327 00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:20,926 And I bet I'm not the only one. 328 00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:26,022 Now go. 329 00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:28,899 Scare him strange. 330 00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:44,413 Ruby's not home. 331 00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,248 Okay, I can see that. 332 00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:48,213 -So get out of my sight. -Uh… 333 00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:51,673 But I'm having a crisis of conscience, and I wanted to put my mind at ease. 334 00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:53,422 I need to apologize. 335 00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:55,723 Go on. 336 00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:01,427 I don't understand how this has gotten so out of hand. 337 00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:03,475 How this has gone on so long. 338 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,599 Too long. It feels like a cold war. 339 00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:08,186 This is not the way you treat one of your best friends. 340 00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:09,732 Or a rabid dog! 341 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:15,525 We've been through so much together… from RollerWorld to money laundering. 342 00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:20,330 I mean, I'm the only one he trusts to clean out his porn drawer. 343 00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:24,121 -His? This isn't about me? -No, I'm talking about Ruby. 344 00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:26,084 -Son of a bitch! -But… 345 00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:28,459 Abuelita. 346 00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:31,091 Oh shit. 347 00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:33,085 I totally forgot about you. 348 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,302 No shit! 349 00:19:34,381 --> 00:19:35,261 Now screw off! 350 00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:37,380 Forgive me. I've been a real-- 351 00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:39,387 Douchebag! Scumbag. 352 00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:40,799 No! Shitbag! 353 00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:43,018 Fine! I've been all of the bags. 354 00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,564 But with Ruby and I on the outs, 355 00:19:45,642 --> 00:19:48,352 I just didn't feel right about reaching out to you. 356 00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:50,227 It's not like you were blowing me up either. 357 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:52,114 I couldn't exactly call you. 358 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,981 -That would be inappropriate. -Why? 359 00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:56,147 It's not like you were sending me pink pics. 360 00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:59,487 -It's like dick pics, but for chicks. -I know. 361 00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:01,283 I invented them. 362 00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:04,576 -Jamal, why did you become such a jerk? 363 00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:06,041 Because I had to! 364 00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:11,455 I'm telling you, Monse, you are so lucky you aren't here. 365 00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:14,003 Ruby and Jasmine blew me off again. 366 00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:16,627 And when we do hang out on that rare occasion, 367 00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:18,375 -they just cut me off-- 368 00:20:23,138 --> 00:20:25,718 -It's Monse. You know what to do. 369 00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:27,137 Huh! Where was I? 370 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:30,686 Oh yeah. I'm feeling like a third wheel, and this ride is making me nauseous. 371 00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:34,781 They talk over me, around me, behind me. 372 00:20:34,858 --> 00:20:36,568 It's like I'm in no-man's-land. 373 00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:39,572 The other day, Jasmine was all up in my face, talking all this shit, 374 00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:41,275 and Ruby didn't have my back. 375 00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:42,405 Again! 376 00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:43,871 -Huh? 377 00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:46,581 Shit! 378 00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:51,331 -Ha! 379 00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:53,416 Finally! Monse, girl. 380 00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:57,462 I'm having a crisis, and you're AWOL. I'mma give you a pass this time, but you-- 381 00:20:57,547 --> 00:20:59,297 -Hello? 382 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,389 -I'm getting sick of him, Sherry. -Hello? 383 00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:04,549 -It's never-ending. -Then tell him. 384 00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:06,968 -Tell me what? Monse? -You know the answer to that. 385 00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:08,637 -Let's not play that game. -Monse? 386 00:21:08,725 --> 00:21:11,765 He's so annoying. It's not fair to keep piling on me. 387 00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:13,943 I have a life. It's like, dude, chill. 388 00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:16,152 You've been complaining about him for a while. 389 00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:19,403 -You gotta say something. -It'll just make things worse. 390 00:21:19,486 --> 00:21:23,156 He's so annoying. And in a weird way, I feel sorry for him. 391 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,740 He's stuck in this total arrested development, 392 00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:27,656 like some weird eight-year-old. 393 00:21:28,161 --> 00:21:29,041 Yeah. 394 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,810 Why didn't you tell me this? 395 00:21:47,639 --> 00:21:49,679 I assumed you were on Ruby's side. 396 00:21:49,766 --> 00:21:51,556 Jamal! 397 00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:54,443 When have I ever taken Ruby's side? 398 00:21:57,190 --> 00:22:00,650 You know, your problem isn't Ruby. Or Monse. 399 00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:02,646 Yeah, I know. 400 00:22:05,115 --> 00:22:06,065 It's Jasmine. 401 00:22:07,284 --> 00:22:08,244 What are you doing? 402 00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:10,997 It's gonna be a long night. 403 00:22:17,753 --> 00:22:19,383 Hey, bruh, where can I get my combo? 404 00:22:22,257 --> 00:22:23,507 "Presidential special?" 405 00:22:26,511 --> 00:22:27,801 Jamal! 406 00:22:34,644 --> 00:22:36,564 You really won't let this go, will you? 407 00:22:36,646 --> 00:22:37,936 What are you talking about? 408 00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:39,613 You know what I'm talking about. 409 00:22:40,317 --> 00:22:41,317 Fine. 410 00:22:41,401 --> 00:22:43,031 Let's do this… right now! 411 00:22:43,111 --> 00:22:45,911 Let's talk about how you wanted a threesome. 412 00:22:45,989 --> 00:22:47,869 How you thought it'd be best for our relationship 413 00:22:47,949 --> 00:22:49,529 because you always think you know what's best. 414 00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:53,748 Okay, sorry I suggested a threesome. Worst girlfriend ever. 415 00:22:53,830 --> 00:22:56,420 It's not even like we had sex. All I did was make out with her. 416 00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:57,710 I know! I was there. 417 00:22:57,793 --> 00:22:59,963 Yeah, for, like, a minute. And then you ran off. 418 00:23:00,045 --> 00:23:04,085 -I thought this is what we both wanted. -Again, there you go. Thinking for me. 419 00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:05,514 Ruby, calm down. 420 00:23:05,592 --> 00:23:08,222 -Oh my God, you're freezing. -I'm not freezing! 421 00:23:08,303 --> 00:23:09,893 Okay, but your nipples say otherwise. 422 00:23:09,971 --> 00:23:11,811 You don't speak for my nipples. I do. 423 00:23:11,890 --> 00:23:14,230 Why are you here? I said I wanted to roll solo. 424 00:23:14,309 --> 00:23:16,139 In case shit pops off. No one's touching my man. 425 00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:17,848 I can handle myself. 426 00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:20,017 But what I can't handle is this. 427 00:23:20,107 --> 00:23:21,187 Us. 428 00:23:21,691 --> 00:23:23,281 -Excuse me? -This. 429 00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:24,440 You. 430 00:23:24,528 --> 00:23:25,818 It's too much. 431 00:23:25,904 --> 00:23:28,034 It's like you're a weighted blanket. 432 00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:30,155 And at first, it's comforting. 433 00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:32,202 And then it's smothering. 434 00:23:32,285 --> 00:23:33,655 Smothering? 435 00:23:33,745 --> 00:23:36,285 I thought what you wanted was a girlfriend. A partner. 436 00:23:36,373 --> 00:23:37,293 A ride-or-die. 437 00:23:37,374 --> 00:23:41,344 And sometimes I do want a ride, but other times I wanna park. 438 00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:43,710 And sometimes I wanna get out of the car and walk. 439 00:23:43,797 --> 00:23:45,467 What? You're not making any sense. 440 00:23:45,549 --> 00:23:46,469 Yes, I am. 441 00:23:46,550 --> 00:23:47,470 To me. 442 00:23:47,968 --> 00:23:49,758 I don't have to make sense to you. 443 00:23:50,303 --> 00:23:51,683 And that's the problem. 444 00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:55,561 I didn't think I'd lose the "me" in "we." 445 00:23:57,936 --> 00:23:59,766 So what are you saying? 446 00:24:01,189 --> 00:24:02,269 Don't do this. 447 00:24:03,066 --> 00:24:05,186 He destroyed our car, and you're blaming yourself. 448 00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:07,147 I broke the code when I went to Sad Eyes. 449 00:24:07,237 --> 00:24:10,947 There's no code. You talk about it like there's some sense of honor or valor. 450 00:24:11,032 --> 00:24:12,162 You didn't grow up in my world. 451 00:24:12,242 --> 00:24:15,002 When you came in the hospital that night after getting jumped and beaten 452 00:24:15,078 --> 00:24:17,828 within an inch of your life, where was the code then? 453 00:24:17,914 --> 00:24:19,504 Hell, where was your brother? 454 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,000 I couldn't understand why he didn't come to see you. 455 00:24:22,085 --> 00:24:24,915 I thought maybe you were the reason why he didn't come. 456 00:24:25,005 --> 00:24:27,045 But now I know he is. We're done. 457 00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,302 No. I gotta go hash this shit out with him now. 458 00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:31,759 Don't do this. 459 00:24:33,180 --> 00:24:35,520 I saw a side of you I never wanna see again. 460 00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:38,055 He brought that out of you. 461 00:24:38,852 --> 00:24:41,692 I want Oscar, not Spooky. 462 00:24:44,316 --> 00:24:47,526 Goddammit! You're holding onto someone who isn't there. 463 00:24:47,611 --> 00:24:48,861 But you know who is? 464 00:24:48,945 --> 00:24:50,315 Your daughter. 465 00:24:57,996 --> 00:24:59,076 I'm so sorry. 466 00:25:10,133 --> 00:25:11,593 You snuck up on me. 467 00:25:12,844 --> 00:25:14,974 I am so glad we're cool again. 468 00:25:15,055 --> 00:25:16,215 I never said that. 469 00:25:16,306 --> 00:25:18,886 Oh, don't play coy with me, woman. You know you miss this. 470 00:25:18,975 --> 00:25:21,685 -Nah. -Yeah. 471 00:25:24,064 --> 00:25:25,234 Ooh! 472 00:25:25,315 --> 00:25:28,525 -What are you doing here? -What were you not doing here? 473 00:25:28,610 --> 00:25:31,320 I went to your party. To demand an apology. 474 00:25:31,404 --> 00:25:33,244 Oh. Okay. 475 00:25:34,449 --> 00:25:35,279 I'm sorry. 476 00:25:35,784 --> 00:25:38,794 Pretending to be sorry when you're not sorry. 477 00:25:38,870 --> 00:25:40,580 You don't know what you're apologizing for. 478 00:25:40,664 --> 00:25:43,754 What should I be apologizing for? 479 00:25:43,833 --> 00:25:45,093 Oh, I don't know. 480 00:25:45,168 --> 00:25:47,838 How about the fact that you completely humiliated me 481 00:25:47,921 --> 00:25:49,051 in front of the whole school? 482 00:25:49,130 --> 00:25:52,720 Oh, co-- Let's be honest, it was not the whole school. 483 00:25:52,801 --> 00:25:56,351 Most people were watching the magic show in the gym. But I'm sorry. 484 00:25:56,429 --> 00:25:58,219 -Your turn. -My turn? 485 00:25:58,306 --> 00:26:00,976 To apologize to me for the past two years. 486 00:26:01,059 --> 00:26:02,889 -For shutting me out. -Oh! 487 00:26:02,978 --> 00:26:06,398 For making Jasmine your plus-one and subtracting me. 488 00:26:06,481 --> 00:26:09,861 You know, there's only so many times one can be a third wheel 489 00:26:09,943 --> 00:26:11,283 before the wheel falls off. 490 00:26:11,361 --> 00:26:13,991 It wasn't Jasmine's fault. You didn't give her a chance. 491 00:26:14,072 --> 00:26:16,622 Me? I've known her my whole life. 492 00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:18,740 Yeah, but you haven't really gotten to know her. 493 00:26:18,827 --> 00:26:21,447 I wasn't given the chance to give her a chance. 494 00:26:21,538 --> 00:26:22,958 You two were all about each other. 495 00:26:23,039 --> 00:26:24,959 And I sure as hell wasn't gonna get to know her 496 00:26:25,041 --> 00:26:27,791 as she was giving you a handy underneath that blanket. 497 00:26:27,877 --> 00:26:30,087 And, yeah, I saw it. 498 00:26:33,008 --> 00:26:34,468 -Are we grossing you out? -No. 499 00:26:34,968 --> 00:26:36,888 But now I need to go take care of something. 500 00:26:36,970 --> 00:26:38,220 -Where's the remote? -Oh! 501 00:26:38,305 --> 00:26:40,095 -Why? -I need batteries. 502 00:26:40,181 --> 00:26:41,101 Ugh! 503 00:26:49,107 --> 00:26:51,567 Why couldn't you be happy that I had a girlfriend? 504 00:26:51,651 --> 00:26:54,781 I was happy for you when you were in the bone zone with Kendra. 505 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:56,410 I was happy. 506 00:26:56,489 --> 00:27:00,119 But as time went by, I was totally isolated. 507 00:27:00,201 --> 00:27:03,331 We canceled Cesar, Monse went off to school, 508 00:27:03,413 --> 00:27:05,423 you had Jasmine, and I had no one. 509 00:27:05,498 --> 00:27:08,958 Okay, that's a bit of hyperbole. You're the most popular person in school. 510 00:27:09,044 --> 00:27:12,634 Ha! You can know everyone and still know no one. 511 00:27:13,423 --> 00:27:16,763 I went from being alone to being… lonely. 512 00:27:18,678 --> 00:27:20,848 'Cause no one knows me like you do, Ruby. 513 00:27:22,015 --> 00:27:23,425 And the truth is… 514 00:27:26,895 --> 00:27:27,895 I miss you. 515 00:27:31,608 --> 00:27:33,108 I miss you too, compa. 516 00:27:34,444 --> 00:27:35,404 I'm sorry. 517 00:27:36,071 --> 00:27:37,491 I got lost in the sauce. 518 00:27:39,074 --> 00:27:40,664 I should've been a better friend. 519 00:27:40,742 --> 00:27:43,332 I should've made more of an effort with Jasmine. And I will. 520 00:27:44,954 --> 00:27:45,914 We broke up. 521 00:27:49,542 --> 00:27:50,882 You wanna talk about it? 522 00:27:55,173 --> 00:27:58,683 So whatcha been up to the past two years, besides getting handies? 523 00:28:00,220 --> 00:28:02,600 -Boning. -Ooh! 524 00:28:02,681 --> 00:28:05,731 Me too! Did you know there are six types of vaginas? 525 00:28:06,685 --> 00:28:07,515 Continue. 526 00:28:07,602 --> 00:28:09,562 Okay, well, you've got your Barbie, 527 00:28:09,646 --> 00:28:14,436 your Mrs. Puffs, your Peekaboo, not to be confused with the Hide-and-Seek, 528 00:28:14,526 --> 00:28:15,856 the Picasso, 529 00:28:17,070 --> 00:28:18,780 and the Queef Latifah. 530 00:28:19,781 --> 00:28:22,991 You mean seven. You left out the Dangler. 531 00:28:23,076 --> 00:28:25,036 -It's real. 532 00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:26,330 Do tell. 533 00:28:28,039 --> 00:28:30,669 Okay, you know when you're, like, shocked. 534 00:28:32,293 --> 00:28:33,843 Yeah? Oh my God. 535 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:36,170 You know how belly buttons have innies and outies? 536 00:28:36,256 --> 00:28:37,966 -This is an outie.