Brian, thank you so much for arranging the car.
Can't wait for dinner tomorrow. Um…
Kiss Hayden and Cooper for me, okay? All right. Bye.
Dad! Brandy!
-Hi!
Oh boy!
-Oh my God! -There she is.
-Oh, wait. -Ooh!
-Uh… that's me? Me? Okay. -Yeah. Yeah.
-I'll be back. I'll be back. -Look at you! Come on.
Come on, I want you to tell me everything. We've missed you so much.
-Cheers. -Cheers!
Mario's gonna be bummed. He missed your last Christmas!
Well, he wouldn't be if he got off his high horse
about the commercialization of Christmas and came home to see his family.
-Yeah, I'm gonna miss that fool. -It's not like you're leaving forever.
Once Freeridge is in my rearview, I'm not looking back.
Not even for Cesar?
That ship sailed.
-Ah! Can't wait to eat these.
They're not for you. They're for Isabelle.
There's, like, 20 of 'em.
-Five for Isabelle and 15 for the baby!
No, my baby's gonna be generous. She's gonna share.
'Cause we share everything.
Clothes, makeup, political opinions.
Yeah. Sometimes we even cycle together. It's…
Hey, don't you love spinning? Maybe you two should do a class together.
-Thank God you're handsome.
She's not talking about spinning, babe.
No. More like all 50 girls in my dorm room getting their periods at the same time.
Well, aw… I am so happy for you because I hated high school.
It was 24/7 drama.
Been there, but it's so much better now.
Now not everything I say and do has to go through a testosterone filter.
I know it's only been two years, but I feel like I finally found my people.
Go.
Oh hey, uh, do you remember this?
Oh my gosh!
Yes!
Oh my gosh.
Wait, do you know who would love this?
Oh no. No, we are not waking up the baby.
The sitter is picking him up for the party,
and he needs to be well-rested.
Wait. Party?
Is that code for "y'all are gettin' freaky"?
Did you not tell her we're having a party tonight?
I knew I forgot something.
Well, you know what else you forgot?
To send in my paperwork for next semester. Can you check on it?
-Yeah. No problem.
Stella Elliot is teaching a workshop, and I have to get in.
By the way, we invited some of your friends tonight.
Jasmine was the only one that RSVP'd, and she can't make it,
but Ruby and Jamal's folks are coming, so… maybe they can join.
Maybe.
I doubt it.
-I mean, we're not close anymore. -But you will be.
That's what old friends do. They pick up right where they left off.
Hmm.
And… Cesar? Was he invited?
No.
We only invited your friends.
I can't go!
My passport's expired.
It's Ruby's fault.
I was so bummed not being able to spend Christmas with his fam.
I got distracted.
I mean, who dumps someone before the holidays?
-People who don't wanna give presents. -Ay, Tía, what am I gonna do?
I could show Border Patrol a little T&A.
-Teeth and arm.
Except I've totally let myself go since the breakup.
And that's why you don't settle down till you're 30.
-But you got married when you were 20. -And do I look happy?
Do you want this face?
We'll just tell Abuela we can't make it.
No. You and Papa shouldn't have to pay for my screwup.
Take him without me. I'll make it up to you as soon as school starts.
I'll come home every day at lunch and give you a break.
I appreciate that.
And I'm sure your father does too.
But will you be okay alone?
Are you kidding? I'll finally have time to bedazzle my… scrapbooks.
Mija, are you sure?
Totally.
Okay.
I'm a phone call away.
-I love you. -I love you too.
-Go! -Ay, okay. Okay.
I'll be fine.
What's taking so long?
If the host is over 40, the start time is firm.
-Ay, Ruby! Take a chill pill. -Is that what you're both wearing?
Whatever, we don't have time to change.
Boxed wine? Really? Hmm? Guess you don't wanna keep these friends.
Ah, you know what, mijo?
Take the night to yourself and stay home. We'll say hi to Monse for you.
-No!
She could misinterpret it.
I've been drama-free for months.
I'm not trying to invite that back.
I'm having a lot of feelings about Monse's party.
Mainly the feeling that we shouldn't go.
What? No! Everyone's going. Even Abuelita.
I was always a maybe, and now…
I'm a no. Gonna power nap instead. But text me who's there.
-Maybe I'll make an appearance. -Are you boys coming or not?
-Yes! -No!
I heard a no. I'll take it. Okay.
Bye.
You can't avoid Monse forever.
Drama with her doesn't just go away.
It's like a zit.
It comes out of nowhere, and it only gets uglier and worse until you pop it.
On the contrary, popping a zit will just spread bacteria,
causing even more zits and possibly scarring.
The best way to get rid of a zit is to do nothing.
I say… pop the bitch.
The zit!
Go to the party!
The holidays are for spending time with your friends and getting high.
Okay, since we're all just chiming in on things that are none of our business,
I've noticed you've been really tired this week.
You need to stop staying up so late at night on Bumble.
That's when I find the best honey.
-Ooh! -Mmm!
-Okay, let's go. -Jasmine will probably be at the party.
Slim chance. Monse and her haven't talked in a year.
Neither have we, and we were invited. Do you really wanna risk a run-in?
You're right. Okay, let's skip the party. I'm not ready to see Jasmine.
-What was that? -I said I'm not ready to see her.
Okay? I'm afraid she's gonna wanna get back together.
And maybe eventually we could be friends, but--
Okay, I feel you.
-I feel you. -I don't know.
Maybe down the road we… we could go to prom together.
We could. Does that mean we could get it in?
Damn, Ruby! Ayiyiyi!
Maybe?
I don't know, okay? Right now, I'm really enjoying my space!
But eventually all spaces need to be filled.
-Are you still being Jasmine? -Okay.
If you can't figure out when I'm Jasmine or Jamal, we have bigger problems.
-Yes? -I just wanted to drop this off.
I don't think it's appropriate to accept gifts from you
considering our circumstances, but… thank you.
Oh, it's not for you! It's for your parents.
My tía was supposed to drop it off--
But you thought it'd be better if you come over.
No, she left for Mexico, and I'm alone for the holidays
because some asshole distracted me from getting my passport renewed.
Oh shit. Who's the asshole?
You, dude!
Anyways, I gotta go. I'm goin' to Monse's.
Not us.
We've got a Kwanzakah party to go to.
Don't give Monse my regards.
Okay, have fun.
Oh, and next time you wanna role-play me, Jamal, don't do the accent.
It's offensive.
We're going to that party.
That's bad bruh.
-This is too much. -You're too much.
-See you. -All right.
I'll see you in a little bit.
Hi!
There he is! What's up, buddy?
-Beautiful. -What's up, man?
-What? -Where's the little guy?
-I thought we'd get to see him. -Oh, take him anytime you want.
Now that our baby boy's leaving the nest, I wouldn't mind having another.
Baby, I know you better mean another drink.
Ooh!
-That's okay. -Oof!
-Oh, there she is! Let's go!
Maybe we should let her settle in first?
Hey! How's it going?
Well, well, well.
You look different.
-Oh, a good different? -Hmm, haven't decided yet.
Okay, sounds like you need a drink. BRB.
Jasmine, mija! How are you?
Oh, wow, you look so beautiful!
Did you like our gift? If not, we can exchange it.
-Or if you prefer cash… -No! I… I… I like Amazon gift cards.
Okay, enough chitchat. We're gonna level with you.
Ever since you broke up with Ruby, he's been a bit more… difficult.
Like depressed?
Like annoying.
He used to not have time for us.
Now he only has time for us.
You need to take him back, Jasmine, please!
Listen, I appreciate the offer, but you got your facts wrong.
Ruby broke up with me!
I wanted to fix our sitch, but he didn't.
And speaking of fix. Girl, we gotta fix this outfit! Let's go!
What is wrong with my outfit?
Nothing. You look great.
I just can't deal with inquisition from Ruby's parents
about our breakup right now.
Oh shit. I didn't know you guys broke up.
And why would you? You've barely spoken to me in two years.
-I think the phone works both ways.
All right, bitch, you got me. I guess we both been busy.
And I'm really sorry about Ruby.
So what's been going on?
You want the whole lowdown since you dipped outta town?
Yeah, lay it on me.
Okay.
So you left, and Cesar got all up in the Santos.
But Ruby, Jamal, and I were cool till one day Jamal peaced out.
Next thing, he's playing football, and every girl wanted to smash him.
Then every girl was smashing him.
Then he ran against Ruby for class prez and called out the threesome we had--
Whoa! Whoa! Hold on. Hold on. Three?
As in someone besides you, Ruby, and his hand?
No hands. Just mouths.
Ew!
Kissing!
It was sort of fun, but he wasn't into it.
Ruby, not his hand.
But it drove a wedge between us, and then we broke up,
and now I have no friends because I put my relationship above everything else.
-Scene.
Okay… hilarious, but, really, what's going on?
No, that is what's really going on.
Oh my God.
-People actually wanna sleep with Jamal? -I know at least four girls who have!
Anyway, shit is crazy,
and now we're here at this party… in this nursery…
-Oh my God! Did you have a baby? -No! My dad and stepmom did.
Oh, girl, I am glad to hear that.
I mean, that baby would be in some crazy-ass outfits
with a weird-shaped head.
I've missed you.
-Come in.
We've got a serious problem. We're having a Christmas carol-oke contest,
and we need more singers. You in?
So in. But first, Brandy needs us to run to the store 'cause she's out of…
-Uh… brandy! -And chips.
Oh, and… and while you're out, can you get Jamal? The boy's got pipes!
-That's true. -Sure, we'll swing by his place.
Oh, oh, oh, oh! He's at our house! Bring Ruby too.
We could use a backup dancer.
That's a good thought.
Ooh! You look dapper!
You're gonna have a great time at Monse's party.
-Catch you later. -What do you mean, "catch you later"?
I'm being a good friend by encouraging you to go to the party,
but by actually going, you're choosing her side and being a bad friend to me.
This isn't about Monse.
Clearly, there's unfinished business with Jasmine.
And I gotta figure out what it is.
Old habits die hard.
Jamal, if Jasmine and I were to ever get back together,
I'd never make you third wheel again.
She'll be the one in the sidecar. 'Cause I'm riding with you.
-Are you driving, or am I? -What?
You said you're riding with me, which I assume means I'm driving
because… I'm not going if I'm metaphorically sitting back seat.
You're driving.
Cool.
Glad we got that cleared up.
I don't wanna ruin my night by dealing with Monse.
And I don't wanna ruin mine by not dealing with Jasmine.
He doesn't wanna deal. I… I get it. I'm a lot.
True, but so is he.
Ruby's a triple-sized serving in a bite-sized package.
Ooh! More like a magnum package.
Ew! Maybe you guys are too similar.
No way! She's the yin to my yang.
-She com-- -Don't say she completes you.
Ugh! No!
-She compliments me… -Ah!
-…like, ten times a day. -Mm-hmm.
-And I like being seen. -But he never saw me!
Or valued our relationship.
He said that he lost the "me" in "we,"
but what he really lost sight of is the "we" in "we!"
There is no "we" with Ruby!
Never will be. Never, ever, ever!
…ever, ever go back to your ex.
But if you absolutely must,
you gotta make it seem like you're doing her a favor.
That's how I keep 'em in my rotation.
But Jasmine thinks I'm an asshole.
You don't want that Jasmine.
You want the new and improved Jasmine.
The one that does what you want her to do.
-Holy shit! -What?
You are Toxic Turner.
I am? What do I do?
Detox. Get him out of your system.
He's problematic. You can't fix a problem unless you're willing to confront it.
So confront him.
-Christmas is a time to tell the truth. -It is?
-I don't know. I'm riffing here. -And I'm riffing with you!
'Cause this mouth won't be muzzled. Except when it wants to be. Which is why--
-We're not going. -We're going.
But we need alcohol.
Oh, and one thing? Mona Mardukas is MIA.
And possibly DOA.
Oh, no worries.
Mona can rest in peace.
'Cause Whitney Hightower's in town.
Okay! I see you, Whitney!
-What are we drinkin'?
Hmm, okay.
How about a classic… vodka?
Oh! If we're gonna go classic…
we gotta keep it classy.
I was thinking something a tad classier. Like Grey Goose.
Oh, I guess Whitney's buyin'.
Oh, we need a sweet treat.
I'm thinkin'…
Tamarindos.
Oh, check your six. We got a stalker.
Oh shit.
What's wrong? What was that?
Where to begin? So after you left-- Shit! She's walking faster than I thought.
-Anyway, um… she's here! -Hmm?
-Uh… can we help you? -Are you Monse?
Uh, we're kind of having a private convo, so--
-I wasn't talking to you. -Yeah. Okay.
What's your problem?
You.
Maybe.
Well, I'm not afraid of you.
No, she's trying to start shit.
I'm not starting anything. Just asking some questions.
Don't know why you guys are getting all riled up.
Hey.
What's going on?
Hey.
Vero, let's go.
That was intense.
You okay?
I am really high.
Slow your roll.
We gotta get you back to Mayfield in one piece.
Mmm, says the lightweight who passed out after half a bottle of rosé.
Nah, I just drank it too fast 'cause I was so thirsty.
-Yeah, you were.
This is bullshit.
I used to make triple this till Cuchillos gave away my territory
to those pinche assholes from 19th Street.
You or Sad Eyes need to talk to her.
I have.
This is what she wants.
-Maybe we should take it back. -We don't need to question her.
Whatever.
Yo. There's that cabrón that jacked Smiley's car!
-Let's beat his ass. -Not now! Next time.
You gonna let him slide like that? Hmm?
What? Want me to go over? Give him an IOU for an ass-whuppin'?
Can we just go home? I don't wanna be here anymore.
Give me a second.
You're not actually gonna beat him up, so let's go. Come on.
Seriously, Cesar.
Cesar, you don't need to do this. Please don't do this!
You're taking orders from your piece now?
You wanna ask her about my cash too?
What is it with you? Taking orders from bitches.
Bitch!
-Hey!
-What's up, puto? -Let's get his ass.
-Get up, boy! -Get up!
Holy shit! That's how you broke up with him last year?
-I had no idea. -No one did.
It was just too weird and painful to talk about.
I was so naive about the whole thing
that I didn't wanna think Cesar was really changing, but he did.
And when I finally saw it, I couldn't unsee it.
Thought I could save him,
but all I could do was accept the situation for what it was
and choose to stay with him or not.
It was a choice.
And I chose me. Hmm.
That speech was a little sappy.
All I'm trying to say… is it's been a good year.
Just a little taste.
For all of us.
Oye.
We all got the same meal.
Somos, familia.
I ain't complaining.
Although I could.
Really?
-You wanna go there? -Let's go.
You're really not gonna spend any of it?
No.
Almost have enough to pay them back.
Then I never have to think about them again.
So you still think about them?
No… I don't.
Right.
You're just thinking about her.
I'm not.
We should call 911. He could die.
Come on. He's not gonna die! Trust me! I just sent him a message!
-Because Joker told you to? -Hey! He didn't tell me to do anything!
I made the call!
Yes, with me in the car!
He could have had a gun!
-I'm calling an ambulance. -You're not doing shit!
Monse, I… I'm sorry.
-I…
I don't know who you are.
I'm the same person.
I'm just trying to take care of everyone,
including you. I--
I love you.
Really?
You love me enough to make me an accessory to assault?
To put my future in jeopardy? Is that love?
You said we were gonna make this work, and now you're deciding not to.
No, I'm not doing anything except taking care of myself.
I'm not gonna stand by here and watch you bring us down.
Yeah, I always knew you weren't ride or die.
No.
I'm not.
I'm not, Cesar, because the truth is, unlike you, I don't wanna die.
You don't have to worry about her.
But what you do have to worry about is if you've been naughty or nice.
I need my stocking stuffed.
-Well, that's Santa's job. -Or Miguel's, when he's in town.
Ruby had to take some time to himself, so… I thought I'd come keep you company.
Ah, I don't need you to keep me company.
Fine, I need you to keep me company.
Wow.
It's been so long since I've been in here.
Looks like, uh… you haven't changed anything.
Uh, so, uh… what's new with you?
-Nothing. -Me too.
-Scooch over. Let's do nothing together. -Fine… but no funny business.
Oh, like you wouldn't rob this cradle if you had a chance.
Well-played.
That is so weird and creepy.
-What?
What is that?
You think it's too late to drop in on the guys?
Oh, it's way too late.
Girl, I hate being single.
Excuse me? Who are you? What the hell have you done with Jasmine?
I was only single 'cause I had to be, not 'cause I wanted to be.
I'm no good at being alone with my thoughts.
I start thinking about things that I do not wanna think about.
But when I was with Ruby, I could focus my thoughts on loving him.
Damn, how pathetic am I?
Girl, do not answer that.
Jasmine, what do you do for you?
Oh!
I've actually gotten supes into collaging this month.
I mean, what have you done for yourself lately?
This is for me.
I like to concentrate on the things that I love,
and between taking care of my dad and Ruby,
there's not much left for me.
Imagine if you took the time you put into others
and instead put it into yourself.
You could be vibrating on a whole new frequency.
-Damn, I like the sound of that.
And maybe that "me" will be the "me" that Ruby can finally see.
Or… maybe… you'll finally see yourself.
It's not like anything would have changed if I went to Monse's party.
What would I have done? Told her off?
I could have told her off.
Damn it!
-Ruby's sackin' out after his whack out. -Hmm.
So, how about some D?
-Ugh! -Dateline!
If it's not Keith Morrison, I'm not in the mood.
-Oh, since when are you not in the mood? -Now.
All right.
I'll leave you alone.
You need anything before I go?
No.
Okay.
Tuck, no tuck?
Tuck.
-All right. Here you go. -Hmm.
-What's with all the Ensure? -What's with all the snooping?
Oh!
Are you, uh… replacing the energy drinks I put in those go bags I gave you?
-Yes. -Good call. They probably expired.
Hmm.
Night.
I'm obviously sleeping over.
'Cause you're too tired to go home or because you don't want me to be alone?
Because I'd rather share a room with you than a baby?
You can go. I'm good.
Spending the night alone is self-care step one.
I gotta start somewhere, right?
Absolutely.
All right. Bye.
Oh, it's you.
What do you mean?
Was… was someone here?
Monse.
Oh.
-So wassup? -I just thought…
You know, it's the holidays and all,
and… I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas.
Cool, Feliz Navidad.
Actually…
I didn't want you to be all alone.
Oh. That's sweet, but I'm not alone. I'm actually in a new relationship.
-With who? -Me.
What?
I've done a lot of thinking.
And what you did was the best thing for both of us.
You said that you lost your "me" in "we?"
Well, I'm finding my "me."
That's…
great?
-So you're good? -Oh, I will be.
-Have a… Merry-- -Yeah, you too.
Let's go!
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh!
Baby, just in time to judge the dance contest! Come on!
I love you, but I am too tired, and you are way too drunk, okay?
Don't worry. We got time to get you on the floor, now that you're home.
Yeah, yeah, you got me. Till winter break is over.
Winter break? We got you longer than that!
-Shh. -Oh shit. She doesn't know?
Know what?
Honey, honey, don't… don't worry about it.
Okay, what's going on?
We'll talk about it after Christmas, baby.
No, let's talk about it now.
What's wrong?
Whoo!
I can't send you back to Mayfield.
What do you want, Jamal?
You're tired all the time.
You've gone from tequila to Ensure.
Abuelita, are you sick?
Don't tell Ruby.