1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:06,966 (thunder) 2 00:00:07,049 --> 00:00:10,679 (whistling tune) 3 00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:19,852 (whistling continues) 4 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,440 (thunder rumbles) 5 00:00:26,819 --> 00:00:29,109 - MAN: Professor Barkley, run it past me again. 6 00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:31,196 - BARKLEY: Soldier scans the skies above ground, 7 00:00:31,282 --> 00:00:32,952 they alert us to the air raid. 8 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:36,503 we fire up the Abexitron and jam their communications. 9 00:00:36,579 --> 00:00:38,409 The Gerrys won't know right from left. 10 00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:39,957 - Won't it interfere with our own radios? 11 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,210 - No, it'll only block the frequency it's sent to. 12 00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:46,054 - What Hitler wouldn't give to get his filthy Nazi mitts on this. 13 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:55,773 (whistling tune) 14 00:00:56,599 --> 00:00:58,769 (thunder) 15 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:02,475 Good God. 16 00:01:06,192 --> 00:01:07,902 Come on, Professor Barkley, pick up. 17 00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:11,279 (engines roaring) 18 00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:13,743 One, five, nine, seven. 19 00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:17,624 - One, five, nine, seven. - One, five, nine, seven. 20 00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:19,833 - Is this a test? - No, this is the real thing! 21 00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:21,874 - (siren blaring) - This is the real-- 22 00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:24,078 (screaming) 23 00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:29,008 - (screaming) - (ticking) 24 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,929 - Is it meant to do that? 25 00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:32,428 (siren blaring) 26 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,800 - Private Atkins? Private Atkins? 27 00:01:34,887 --> 00:01:37,927 Alfie? Are you there? 28 00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:40,225 (indistinct radio transmission) 29 00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:49,645 - One, five, nine, seven. - Alfie? 30 00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:51,235 Professor! 31 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:52,570 - ...nine, seven. 32 00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:55,065 One, five, nine, seven. 33 00:01:56,659 --> 00:01:58,039 (siren blaring) 34 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,908 - One, five, nine, seven. 35 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,713 One, five, nine, seven. 36 00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:10,795 ♪♪ 37 00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:24,020 (gasp) 38 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,154 (panting) 39 00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:44,745 - Okay, I don't think I'm ready for this. 40 00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:46,832 - You could've just had toast. - No, not the breakfast, 41 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,457 what happened at Miss Connelly's. 42 00:02:48,544 --> 00:02:50,634 - Elton, I've been a paranormal investigator 43 00:02:50,713 --> 00:02:52,093 for 20 years. 44 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,132 I've never seen anything like we saw yesterday. 45 00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:56,716 The spirit dog, number five. 46 00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:59,052 This could finally get me into "The White Sheet." 47 00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:03,268 - What's "The White Sheets?" - No, no, no, "The White Sheets" is a Neo Nazi magazine. 48 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,770 "The White Sheet" is a magazine about the paranormal. 49 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,563 Two very different things. Never the twain shall meet. 50 00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,437 Unless, of course, you count the time 51 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:13,654 someone spotted the ghost of Reichsmarschall Hermann Göring 52 00:03:13,736 --> 00:03:15,106 up on Tulse Hill. 53 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:18,485 Yeah, it set the paranormal world on fire. 54 00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:21,544 ♪♪ 55 00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:26,369 - GUS: You ready for your second day? 56 00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:28,207 - I'm not ready for my first day. 57 00:03:34,173 --> 00:03:35,343 Uhh... 58 00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:39,387 - GUS: Here we go. 59 00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:46,023 - A crisp? - What flavor? 60 00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:48,061 - Uh, prawn cocktail. - Ugh, no. 61 00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:50,475 - Suit yourself. Mm. 62 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,824 (engine starts) 63 00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:55,897 - ELTON: Listen, can we not have another day like yesterday? 64 00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,446 - GUS: Relax. It's not like every place we go 65 00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:58,739 is gonna be haunted. 66 00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:00,372 - Sorry. Did you say haunted? 67 00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:01,989 - I did. Yes. 68 00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:04,446 Britain's most haunted three-star hotel, 69 00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:06,076 The Portland Beacon. 70 00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:08,253 Now, I thought that might peak your interest, Gus. 71 00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:10,382 - It's nothing but a cheap tourist draw, believe me. 72 00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:12,089 I-- I've looked into it. 73 00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:13,959 - (chuckles) Thorough as ever. 74 00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:16,336 That is why you are my number one installer, Gus. 75 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,473 - Ah, mea culpa. 76 00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:24,715 - And you, mister, are my number... 28? 77 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:28,388 - Not-- Not bad. - (phone rings) 78 00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:29,937 I have to take this because, uh, 79 00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:31,610 I'm breaking in a new assistant. 80 00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:33,399 - Take the day off, Dave. You're never not here, are you? 81 00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:35,572 - (chuckles) Get out of here. 82 00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:40,411 Hello, Smyle, Dave speaking. 83 00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:41,989 (distortion) 84 00:04:42,074 --> 00:04:43,834 Hello? 85 00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:44,949 (distortion) 86 00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:47,035 Hello-- Bjorn, this has got-- 87 00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:49,871 Bjorn. Bloody-- Bjorn! 88 00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:59,300 - There's no way this dump is a three-star. 89 00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:00,843 - This is my home. 90 00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:05,388 - Oh... It's nice. 91 00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:16,226 - ELTON: You see, it's nicer when you get close. 92 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,476 - GUS: Just want to show you something inside. 93 00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:19,648 - Can I walk on the grass? - No. 94 00:05:19,737 --> 00:05:22,567 ♪♪ 95 00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:37,547 - Elton. 96 00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:40,589 ♪♪ 97 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,597 - Elton. 98 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,059 - Hm? - Hey, look at that. 99 00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:49,980 "The White Sheet." 100 00:05:50,059 --> 00:05:51,889 Okay, read this. 101 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:59,855 - "The Portland Beacon is a horror-themed dump. 102 00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,743 "Zero ghosts, but plenty of bedbugs. 103 00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:04,821 - One ghoul." There's a ghoul? - (door opens) 104 00:06:04,907 --> 00:06:07,277 - No, no, they use a five ghoul rating system. 105 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,827 This is not gonna be another Connelly's Nook, okay? 106 00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:15,210 - Who's this? - Elton John. 107 00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:18,592 - Don't be facetious. - Dad, he's my new partner. 108 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,920 - That. 109 00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:26,256 - So, uh, you off out again? - Yes, yeah. Just off to work. 110 00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:28,595 While I'm out, will you not go in my study? 111 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:32,020 - It's not a study, it's the bloody dining room! 112 00:06:32,101 --> 00:06:33,731 Anyway, I never come in here. 113 00:06:33,811 --> 00:06:35,271 - You say that, but sometimes when I come back, 114 00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,194 everything's kind of been touched and moved some. 115 00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:38,982 - Oh, well, maybe it's a ghost. 116 00:06:40,359 --> 00:06:43,319 ♪♪ 117 00:07:06,969 --> 00:07:09,469 - (screeching) - (static) 118 00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:17,099 (birds chirping) 119 00:07:18,147 --> 00:07:19,767 - ELTON: Your dad seems nice. 120 00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:21,187 - GUS: He's not nice, he's horrible. 121 00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:24,355 - ELTON: (chuckles) - GUS: No, seriously. 122 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,034 (engine starts) 123 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,910 ♪♪ 124 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:46,383 MAN: (on radio) 125 00:07:48,719 --> 00:07:53,139 One, five, nine, seven. 126 00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:56,273 - Yeah, remind me again. Where are you from? 127 00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:59,311 - Uh, Norfolk. Why? - Huh. Norfolk. 128 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:00,856 Just, uh, I hope you don't mind, 129 00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:03,279 I did a little online search on you last night. 130 00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:05,068 Not many Elton Johns. 131 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,492 Hell, there's only one other. None in Norfolk. 132 00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:10,451 - Ha. I'm not really on social media, so-- 133 00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,082 - Well, you're not-- not really on anywhere, are you? 134 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,199 - (chuckles) No. 135 00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,577 Who was that woman in the picture? 136 00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:20,584 - It was, uh, my wife, Emily. 137 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,377 - She looks nice. Love to meet her. 138 00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:25,052 - She died. 139 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,670 - Oh. Sorry, man. 140 00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:28,798 Sorry. 141 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,600 What happened? 142 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,680 - It's complicated. 143 00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:39,516 - MAN: (on radio) One, five, nine, seven. - (phone rings) 144 00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:41,153 - Helie? What's wrong? 145 00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:43,070 - My costume for CovCo CosCon. 146 00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:45,228 It's next week and it's not even ready yet. 147 00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:46,647 - Okay, Helie, what'd you need? 148 00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:48,735 - A plunger. 149 00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,450 - You haven't blocked the toilet again, have you? 150 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:51,950 - For my costume. 151 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,742 - Oh, come on, Helen. 152 00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,735 Try going to the shop, it's only a couple doors down. 153 00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:57,117 - Yeah, right, yeah. Just send the agoraphobe 154 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,664 down a busy High Street. 155 00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,417 Oh, yeah, look out for me on the news tonight. 156 00:09:00,499 --> 00:09:02,249 - Okay, I'll get it. I'll get it. 157 00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:04,544 - Okay. Okay. 158 00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:05,708 - Bye. 159 00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:09,337 - Is that your wife? 160 00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:10,764 - Ugh, no, it's my sister. 161 00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:12,842 - She okay? - Yeah. 162 00:09:12,928 --> 00:09:16,008 She's quite an anxious person. A bit fragile. 163 00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:17,678 And angry. 164 00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,516 She hasn't always been like that, though. 165 00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:21,811 - What happened? 166 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,685 - It's complicated. 167 00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:26,112 ♪♪ 168 00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:27,991 - GUS: Behold, The Portland Beacon. 169 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,778 A ministry of defense research and development facility 170 00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:32,362 during the second world war. 171 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:35,197 Now a seaside sideshow for weekend horror dinks. 172 00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:37,834 - ELTON: So you're sure it's not haunted? 173 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,621 - GUS: Have to be pretty gullible to be taken in by this place. 174 00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,747 Ah. 175 00:09:47,838 --> 00:09:49,298 (bell dings) 176 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:51,974 - Hello? 177 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:01,639 Hello? 178 00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:07,363 Are you looking for ghosts? 179 00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:09,481 - Wifi viability. 180 00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:10,608 - Oh. 181 00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:23,285 - Ahh! - (man laughing) 182 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,337 Hello, welcome. I am Jack, 183 00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:34,134 proprietor of The Portland Beacon, 184 00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:37,097 the only horror themed hotel on Dorset's Jurassic Coast. 185 00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:39,769 What do you think of the old eye in the painting gag? 186 00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,518 - That-- That's new. - Very good. 187 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,600 - Good-- Good fun. - Oh, right. Of course. 188 00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:47,555 - Lovely. Hello, uh, my name is Gus Roberts. 189 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,567 I'm from Smyle. 190 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,317 Yeah, we're here to fix your broadband. 191 00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:53,992 - Oh. - Be great if I could see your router. 192 00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:56,661 - Oh. There it is. - Ahh. 193 00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:59,120 That is an SMR430. 194 00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:00,871 I mean, in theory, you could beam a signal through 195 00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:02,252 eight inches of solid lead. 196 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,789 - Yeah, well, that's why we got it. 197 00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:05,372 This place has never had a signal. 198 00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:07,747 You know, people we took over from had the same issue. 199 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,424 Kind of been using mobile. 200 00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:11,213 - Well, let's see if we can't find out why. 201 00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,586 - Righty-O. I shall give you the tour. 202 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,473 - Oh, uh, no need. - Follow me. 203 00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:26,767 ♪♪ 204 00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:51,554 "Perished loved ones who are unable to break the tie 205 00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,128 between the world of the living and the..." 206 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,223 (chair powering down) 207 00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:01,604 - (sighs) 208 00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:09,311 ♪♪ 209 00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:16,322 Oh, no. Don't go into my study. 210 00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:20,373 Ah, what's all this rubbish? 211 00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:28,868 It's my house too, you know. 212 00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:33,997 Oh, yeah. 213 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:38,337 Ahh! Yaah! 214 00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,425 (growling) 215 00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:50,518 - So, this is the Amityville Lounge. 216 00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:53,524 Don't have any food in here. The flies love it. 217 00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:55,397 - What's that about? 218 00:12:55,484 --> 00:12:58,784 - Oh, yeah, room two. Yeah, we don't let guests stay in there. 219 00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:00,452 Too dangerous. 220 00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:02,570 Something to do with the wiring, we think. 221 00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:04,737 It's always freezing in there. 222 00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:07,076 Anything you touch, you get shocked. 223 00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:10,332 Weird bumps and noises all night. 224 00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:12,325 - You sure it's not haunted? 225 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:14,627 - (chuckles) Oh. Yeah, well, that'd be ironic, wouldn't it? 226 00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,381 The only room in the hotel that is haunted, 227 00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:17,883 and we can't let the guests stay in there. 228 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:19,594 (laughs) Come on. 229 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:35,730 Room 237. It's a twin. 230 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:40,034 Nightmare on Elm Suite. 231 00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:42,531 And over here, we have the Psycho room. 232 00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:50,294 - Ha. - GUS: Read about this place. 233 00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:53,832 There is absolutely no signal at all. 234 00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:55,917 Rest assured, sir, I shall crack this nut. 235 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,132 Oh, wonderful. Cup of tea? 236 00:13:58,213 --> 00:13:59,513 - Yes, please. - Yeah. 237 00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:00,629 - Make 'em a tea, love. 238 00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:04,762 - Love? - (screams) 239 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,104 - Oh, sorry, this is my wife, Wendy. 240 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,720 - You've ruined the scare now, haven't you? 241 00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:10,477 - Just get the kettle on. - You do it. 242 00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:12,939 - Right-O. - Stupid. 243 00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:24,452 - Okay, I would like you to take this signal tester, 244 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,951 go back to the Psycho room, and prepare to run the test. 245 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,703 - Alone? - Not alone. 246 00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:32,326 Your walkie-talkie. 247 00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:34,214 You're never really alone with a walkie-talkie. 248 00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:36,421 - Okay. - Bye. 249 00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:38,171 (radio beeps) 250 00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:40,923 All right. (sighs) 251 00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:44,264 - Oh-- 252 00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:47,301 (sighs) 253 00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:06,032 - MAN: (on radio) Help-- 254 00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:08,164 - (radio beeps) - Gus, is that you? 255 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,991 - O-- Over. - (radio beeps) 256 00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:12,036 (static) 257 00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:19,086 ♪♪ 258 00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:20,749 - MAN: That-- - (gasps) 259 00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:23,507 - That one's locked, I'm afraid. 260 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:26,550 - Uh, yes. I'm looking for the Psycho room. 261 00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:30,005 - Oh, well, that's down there on the right. 262 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,310 I'm Byron, the caretaker. 263 00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:35,271 Are you staying with us? 264 00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:38,192 - Oh, no, no, I'm just here to fix the internet. 265 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,571 The signal is being blocked for some reason. 266 00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:42,229 Maybe something's jamming it. 267 00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:44,985 - Something like what? 268 00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:47,700 - (chuckles) Daft if I know. 269 00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:48,821 Toodle-oo. 270 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,790 - (radio beeps) - Elton, can you confirm you are in position, 271 00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:58,383 and ready to run the test. Over. 272 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:01,878 - (radio beeps) - (static) 273 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,961 - Papa Bear to Little Bird, come back. 274 00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:16,733 (electronic tune playing) 275 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,573 - (radio beeps) - Elton, come back to Papa Bear. Over. 276 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,113 - (radio beeps) 277 00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:32,986 - MAN: (on radio) One, five, nine, seven. 278 00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:34,866 - ELTON: Gus! - (radio beeps) 279 00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:37,003 - Elton, where have you got to? - (radio beeps) 280 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,080 - ELTON: Gus-- (distorted) 281 00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,575 - Say again, where are you? 282 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:43,667 - ELTON: Room two. Room two. He-- Ah! 283 00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:44,843 Gus, help! 284 00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:46,381 - Stay there, I'm on my way. 285 00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:55,007 Elton. 286 00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:56,178 - Elton. - (Elton screaming) 287 00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:57,976 - Elton. Hang on, mate. 288 00:16:58,059 --> 00:17:00,399 I'm just gonna find that idiot to come and open the door, okay? 289 00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:02,898 - Everything all right? - (gasps) Yeah, yeah. 290 00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:05,231 Just-- Just thinkin-- thinkin' about you. 291 00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:06,936 You couldn't open this door for us, could you? 292 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,856 - Oh, no, no, no, no. Can't let you in there. 293 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:11,445 - Eh, it's all right. We're not customers. 294 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:14,531 It's not an act. It's all for safety. 295 00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:17,117 - Listen. Right now, you're essentially 296 00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:19,213 holding a private contractor hostage. 297 00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:21,539 I've seen this kind of situation blow up real quick. 298 00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,084 Open the door. 299 00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:26,418 (keys jangling) 300 00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:28,674 Well done. We're comin' in, mate. 301 00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:33,136 I'll take it from here. 302 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:36,970 (light switch clicks) 303 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,596 - JACK: Light's not workin'. 304 00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:41,063 Well, it works but bulbs kept blowing, 305 00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:43,194 so, uh, we took 'em all out. 306 00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,228 - GUS: Elton? 307 00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:51,493 - Are you sure he's in here? 308 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,661 Because we always keep this room locked. 309 00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,156 - Elton? 310 00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,288 Elton? 311 00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:07,804 Huh. 312 00:18:07,879 --> 00:18:09,089 (screaming) 313 00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:10,382 (gasping) 314 00:18:10,465 --> 00:18:13,335 (breathing heavily) 315 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,716 - GUS: What the bloody hell are you doing? 316 00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:20,596 GUS: (in video) Welcome, viewer, to the Truth Seeker. 317 00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:23,063 You join me here in a place 318 00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:25,154 I've come to know as Connelly's Nook... 319 00:18:25,230 --> 00:18:26,440 - Oh, please. 320 00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:28,443 - ...to solve the mystery... 321 00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:30,395 - Pretentious nonsense. 322 00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,985 - GUS: (in video) Join me if you dare. 323 00:18:33,071 --> 00:18:35,571 - Shawshank. - (chiming) 324 00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:39,197 - Hm. Must be friends. Hell's bells tells. 325 00:18:40,245 --> 00:18:44,575 - To finish off, to go full Arnie, 326 00:18:44,666 --> 00:18:46,626 gonna us some eye drops. 327 00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:49,709 Okay? Get a nice chunk of that in there. 328 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:53,256 Whoop, see the color? Then you just... 329 00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:54,881 pop it into your eye... 330 00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:57,638 like this. 331 00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,970 - Ah, there we go. - Ooh. 332 00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,926 - HELEN: Nice and easy. 333 00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:05,556 One of the reasons I like spending time on make-up 334 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:08,475 is because you're lookin' in the mirror, 335 00:19:08,565 --> 00:19:11,395 and it's like you're havin' a conversation with yourself. 336 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:16,914 So in a way, I'm being sociable... with me. 337 00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:18,580 - Hm. - HELEN: Done. 338 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,328 - I know what you mean. - HELEN: Nice and easy. 339 00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:23,910 - I talk to myself sometimes. - HELEN: And that is nice. 340 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,340 (static) 341 00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:31,129 Look out! 342 00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:32,672 HELEN: (as Schwarzenegger) I'll be back next week. 343 00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:33,715 Bye. 344 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,854 - GUS: Why did you go into room two? 345 00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:49,556 - The door opened. I thought I heard something. 346 00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:50,767 - Heard what? 347 00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:58,278 - (whistling tune) 348 00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:02,084 - Yeah. - The Lincolnshire Poacher. 349 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,910 When you were in there, 350 00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:05,495 I heard the numbers 1, 5, 9, 7 351 00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:06,920 come through on the walkie-talkie. 352 00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:09,578 - Wh-- What are you saying? 353 00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,707 - I'm saying it's time to get the exospector. 354 00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,842 - I just don't want to go back in there. 355 00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:18,965 - Something is not right. 356 00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:20,472 We need to find out what it is. 357 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,263 - Why? 358 00:20:22,347 --> 00:20:24,597 - We're truth seekers. - No, you're a truth seeker. 359 00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:25,982 I'm Elton John. 360 00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:41,780 (gasping) 361 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:47,542 - All right, all right, you're hyperventilating. 362 00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:49,832 Shh, shh, calm. 363 00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:52,376 Breathe into this bag. Just breathe. 364 00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:54,460 Slowly, there might be crisps in there. 365 00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:57,585 - (gagging) - (chuckles) Oh, just chew. 366 00:20:57,674 --> 00:21:00,844 Chew through it. Yeah. 367 00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:03,177 - (breathing heavily) They taste quite nice. 368 00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:05,012 Yeah, prawn cocktail. My guilty pleasure. 369 00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:06,808 (instrument beeping) 370 00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:11,267 This bloody thing. 371 00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:13,404 I'm gonna go out to the van and pop a fresh open, I think. 372 00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:14,731 - No. - You'll be fine. 373 00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:21,658 (deep breaths) 374 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:28,294 - I remember this room. - (gasps) 375 00:21:28,371 --> 00:21:31,371 - I used to come in here and read my favorite book 376 00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:34,337 for hours and hours. 377 00:21:34,419 --> 00:21:37,259 I wonder if it's still here. 378 00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:42,716 Why, yes. There it is. 379 00:21:49,183 --> 00:21:50,313 (chuckles) 380 00:21:55,273 --> 00:21:56,483 - Gus! 381 00:22:02,405 --> 00:22:03,865 Gus! 382 00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:04,988 - GUS: That's better. 383 00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:08,905 What did you do? 384 00:22:08,995 --> 00:22:10,955 - I didn't, the old man did it. 385 00:22:11,956 --> 00:22:13,366 - What old man? 386 00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:14,748 - Uh, Byron. 387 00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:18,376 - Ha. 388 00:22:18,463 --> 00:22:20,383 - Well, that solves the mystery of the secret door. 389 00:22:20,465 --> 00:22:21,585 Shall we go home now? 390 00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:22,884 - Get the camera. You ready? 391 00:22:24,302 --> 00:22:25,342 Here we go. 392 00:22:29,474 --> 00:22:31,524 (singsongy) Hello, ghosts. 393 00:22:38,483 --> 00:22:40,363 - GUS: You all right? - ELTON: Yeah, yeah. 394 00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:44,696 - GUS: I bet you what's down here... 395 00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:47,081 whatever it is, is causing room two to go haywire. 396 00:22:47,158 --> 00:22:48,988 - ELTON: What is this place? 397 00:22:49,077 --> 00:22:50,157 - I don't know. Let's find out. 398 00:22:50,244 --> 00:22:51,584 - You rolling? - ELTON: Yeah. 399 00:22:54,916 --> 00:22:56,286 - Oh, let's see now. 400 00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:58,915 - ELTON: Ahh! Shittin' hell. 401 00:22:59,003 --> 00:23:00,883 - GUS: He must have been down here since the second world war. 402 00:23:00,963 --> 00:23:03,263 - Okay. Goodness. Go back and call the police. 403 00:23:03,341 --> 00:23:04,221 - Oh, why? 404 00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:06,140 - We just found a dead body. 405 00:23:06,219 --> 00:23:07,639 - That's not a body. It's meatless. 406 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,390 This is a skeleton, poor bugger. 407 00:23:09,472 --> 00:23:12,852 - Shh. - (electronic tune playing) 408 00:23:12,934 --> 00:23:15,524 - You hear that? - Huh? 409 00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:16,813 - It's coming from in there. 410 00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:21,567 (electronic tune continues) 411 00:23:21,651 --> 00:23:23,241 - That's a military door. 412 00:23:23,319 --> 00:23:25,109 Naval, 1940's by the looks of it. 413 00:23:25,196 --> 00:23:28,236 - Don't tell me you were a submarine commander one weekend. 414 00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:30,374 - Cleaner in the Imperial War Museum. 415 00:23:35,665 --> 00:23:38,285 (door creaks) 416 00:23:44,340 --> 00:23:47,340 (electronic tune playing) 417 00:23:51,097 --> 00:23:52,307 - GUS: How are these lights on? 418 00:23:54,851 --> 00:23:56,271 - MAN: Get back! - (gasps) 419 00:23:56,352 --> 00:23:58,232 - MAN: You Nazi scum! - ELTON: Who said that? 420 00:23:58,312 --> 00:24:00,312 MAN: Thought you could sneak up on me, didn't you? 421 00:24:00,398 --> 00:24:03,778 One, five, nine, seven. 422 00:24:03,860 --> 00:24:05,490 - One, five, nine, seven. - It's this machine. 423 00:24:05,570 --> 00:24:06,990 - ELTON: Sounds like a man, not a machine. 424 00:24:07,071 --> 00:24:08,951 MAN: Uh, the joke's on you, Fritz. 425 00:24:09,031 --> 00:24:11,451 I've only got to initiate the self-destruct protocols, 426 00:24:11,534 --> 00:24:14,254 and you two Gerry bastards are toast. 427 00:24:14,328 --> 00:24:17,668 - Hey, we're not Gerrys. - Or bastards. 428 00:24:17,748 --> 00:24:19,328 MAN: Prove it. 429 00:24:19,417 --> 00:24:22,587 - My name is Gus Roberts, I'm 47 years old, 430 00:24:22,670 --> 00:24:25,170 and I'm a field engineer from Sussex. 431 00:24:25,256 --> 00:24:26,796 This is my colleague, Mr. Elton John. 432 00:24:26,883 --> 00:24:28,433 - MAN: And where are you from? 433 00:24:28,509 --> 00:24:29,759 - Leicestershire. 434 00:24:29,844 --> 00:24:33,064 - (electronic tune playing) - (ticking) 435 00:24:36,893 --> 00:24:40,193 - One, five, nine, seven. 436 00:24:40,271 --> 00:24:42,821 MAN: Air raid! This is not a test! 437 00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:45,740 - This is a number station. 438 00:24:45,818 --> 00:24:48,398 I've been listening to this machine for 20 years. 439 00:24:48,487 --> 00:24:50,157 MAN: I have to jam the German communications, 440 00:24:50,239 --> 00:24:51,739 I have to stop their air raids. 441 00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:54,294 - Listen. I read a book 442 00:24:54,368 --> 00:24:56,538 by a man called Dr. Peter Toynbee, 443 00:24:56,621 --> 00:24:58,661 and in it, he theorized that 444 00:24:58,748 --> 00:25:01,628 the human soul could transport into other things, 445 00:25:01,709 --> 00:25:03,209 places, people, objects. 446 00:25:03,294 --> 00:25:05,054 I think this is what we're looking at here. 447 00:25:07,673 --> 00:25:09,383 Can you tell me your name? 448 00:25:11,302 --> 00:25:14,012 - MAN: Atkins, Alfred. 449 00:25:14,096 --> 00:25:16,306 Private, home guard. 450 00:25:16,390 --> 00:25:17,930 And that's all your getting. 451 00:25:18,017 --> 00:25:20,597 - Tell me, how did you get into this machine, Alfie? 452 00:25:20,686 --> 00:25:24,186 ATKINS: I was on the clock tower. 453 00:25:24,273 --> 00:25:26,823 There was a storm. Uh, a German squadron, 454 00:25:26,901 --> 00:25:28,401 the lightning struck. 455 00:25:28,486 --> 00:25:31,856 - (thunder) - (screaming) 456 00:25:31,948 --> 00:25:36,408 ATKINS: So hot and-- and bright. 457 00:25:36,494 --> 00:25:41,754 - The power from the lightning transferred his soul... 458 00:25:41,832 --> 00:25:43,632 inside this machine. 459 00:25:44,710 --> 00:25:46,090 Toynbee was right. 460 00:25:46,170 --> 00:25:48,210 - ATKINS: Mustn't let them communicate. 461 00:25:48,297 --> 00:25:51,507 - He's not just jamming the obsolete radio signals. 462 00:25:51,592 --> 00:25:53,182 He's jamming everything. 463 00:25:53,261 --> 00:25:54,431 Wifi, 6G. 464 00:25:54,512 --> 00:25:57,972 This is the source of our signal problem. 465 00:25:58,057 --> 00:26:01,437 If we can somehow convince him to move on. 466 00:26:01,519 --> 00:26:04,649 I think-- I think he'll help us. 467 00:26:04,730 --> 00:26:06,730 - How the hell do we do that? 468 00:26:06,816 --> 00:26:09,436 - We have to prove that the second world war is over. 469 00:26:11,404 --> 00:26:16,204 - Um... Private Atkins, can you see us? 470 00:26:16,284 --> 00:26:18,744 ATKINS: Of course I can see you. 471 00:26:18,828 --> 00:26:20,958 - Look at the date on this packet of crisps. 472 00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:25,752 - ATKINS: Prawn cocktail. 473 00:26:25,835 --> 00:26:27,545 What kind of a future is this? 474 00:26:27,628 --> 00:26:29,798 - Oh, no, they're a lot nicer than they sound, I promise. 475 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,590 And, let's face it, you'd be hard pushed 476 00:26:31,674 --> 00:26:34,764 to find a pink bag of crisps under a fascist dictatorship. 477 00:26:34,844 --> 00:26:36,554 - (laughs) 478 00:26:36,637 --> 00:26:38,307 - ATKINS: Well? 479 00:26:38,389 --> 00:26:39,849 - Dude, look at me. 480 00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:43,892 Do you really think I'm a Nazi? This? 481 00:26:43,978 --> 00:26:47,148 - ATKINS: So we won? We defeated the fascists? 482 00:26:47,231 --> 00:26:49,981 - Mm... there's still a few. 483 00:26:50,067 --> 00:26:51,607 There's this weird magazine called "The White Sheets," 484 00:26:51,694 --> 00:26:54,454 - it's race-- - Oh, that's-- 485 00:26:54,530 --> 00:26:57,410 We won. 486 00:26:57,491 --> 00:26:59,991 Hitler lost, he killed himself in his bunker. 487 00:27:00,077 --> 00:27:03,537 The coward. Not like you, son. 488 00:27:03,622 --> 00:27:05,752 You did your duty. 489 00:27:05,833 --> 00:27:08,793 And in my eyes, that makes you a friggin' hero. 490 00:27:08,878 --> 00:27:11,628 - ATKINS: Am I? 491 00:27:11,714 --> 00:27:14,344 'Cause I-- I was so worried that I'd let Professor Barkley down. 492 00:27:14,425 --> 00:27:18,715 - Whoever this professor is, you made him proud. 493 00:27:18,804 --> 00:27:20,394 You made us all proud, kid. 494 00:27:22,308 --> 00:27:25,138 Hey. Maybe it's time you went home. 495 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,820 - ATKINS: There's a door, actually. 496 00:27:35,696 --> 00:27:37,236 It wasn't here before. 497 00:27:37,323 --> 00:27:39,833 - Maybe you should go through it. 498 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:42,500 - ATKINS: Permission to be dismissed. 499 00:27:45,164 --> 00:27:47,504 - Private Atkins, 500 00:27:47,583 --> 00:27:50,423 permission is most definitely granted. 501 00:27:50,503 --> 00:27:54,343 ♪♪ 502 00:27:54,423 --> 00:27:56,433 (powering down) 503 00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:00,760 - Alfie? 504 00:28:02,765 --> 00:28:03,885 (switch clicks) 505 00:28:03,974 --> 00:28:06,734 - Alfie? - He's gone. Yeah? 506 00:28:06,811 --> 00:28:08,401 (phone chimes) 507 00:28:08,479 --> 00:28:10,899 - Well, looks like the signal's back up. 508 00:28:10,981 --> 00:28:13,821 - Oh. It's Helen. - What's she want? 509 00:28:15,069 --> 00:28:16,529 - The plunger. 510 00:28:18,030 --> 00:28:19,490 (beeping) 511 00:28:27,748 --> 00:28:30,498 - (chuckles) Oh, Gus, you little beauty. 512 00:28:33,295 --> 00:28:34,875 - GUS: All right, well, I don't think you'll be having 513 00:28:34,964 --> 00:28:36,884 any more problems with your wifi. 514 00:28:36,966 --> 00:28:39,756 I've run a test and you're pulling down 100 megabits per second, 515 00:28:39,844 --> 00:28:41,934 and that is consistent throughout the whole hotel. 516 00:28:42,012 --> 00:28:43,932 - Well, that's amazing. Thanks very much. 517 00:28:44,014 --> 00:28:45,774 - And, uh, any problems you were having with room two 518 00:28:45,850 --> 00:28:47,520 I think have probably abated as well. 519 00:28:47,601 --> 00:28:50,561 - Eh, maybe we can finally turn it into something scary. 520 00:28:50,646 --> 00:28:53,066 - Oh, could you say goodbye to Byron for me? 521 00:28:53,149 --> 00:28:55,149 - Who's Byron? 522 00:28:55,234 --> 00:28:56,324 - The caretaker. 523 00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:08,705 - Oh, you mean Mr. Barkley. 524 00:29:08,789 --> 00:29:11,419 He's been here forever. Came with the hotel. 525 00:29:11,500 --> 00:29:14,130 Got amnesia, didn't he, during the war. 526 00:29:14,211 --> 00:29:15,421 - Yeah, the second world one. 527 00:29:15,504 --> 00:29:17,474 - So he's not a ghost. - (chuckles) 528 00:29:17,548 --> 00:29:19,048 - 'Course he's not a ghost. 529 00:29:19,133 --> 00:29:20,433 There's no such thing as ghosts. 530 00:29:20,509 --> 00:29:23,349 - Well... (chuckles) Bye-bye. 531 00:29:23,429 --> 00:29:24,469 - All the best. 532 00:29:26,807 --> 00:29:28,767 - ELTON: Just be a minute. - Bloody hell is he going? 533 00:29:30,394 --> 00:29:32,944 (whistling tune) 534 00:29:34,398 --> 00:29:38,438 - Hey. Can I ask? How much for that plunger? 535 00:29:38,527 --> 00:29:42,277 - Hm? Oh. (chuckles) It's yours, old boy. 536 00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:44,784 - Oh, yes. Thanks, professor. 537 00:29:44,867 --> 00:29:45,987 See ya! 538 00:29:48,329 --> 00:29:50,999 - Professor? 539 00:29:51,081 --> 00:29:52,371 (chuckles) 540 00:30:04,512 --> 00:30:06,472 (static) 541 00:30:09,266 --> 00:30:11,096 - You all right? 542 00:30:11,185 --> 00:30:13,265 - Yeah. 543 00:30:13,354 --> 00:30:15,274 Just that, you know, I've listened to Alfie's voice 544 00:30:15,356 --> 00:30:16,936 nearly every day for the past 20 years 545 00:30:17,024 --> 00:30:18,074 on that number station. 546 00:30:20,236 --> 00:30:21,486 Just gonna miss him, you know? 547 00:30:25,282 --> 00:30:27,792 Uh, no. Leave it on. 548 00:30:27,868 --> 00:30:29,158 Just in case. 549 00:30:31,956 --> 00:30:34,246 Hey, why don't you drop me home? 550 00:30:34,333 --> 00:30:36,293 You know, have an early night bath, bath bomb. 551 00:30:36,377 --> 00:30:38,087 - Yeah. Yeah, I could do that. 552 00:30:38,170 --> 00:30:40,300 Or you could come back to mine 553 00:30:40,381 --> 00:30:42,971 and we can code videos for four hours for the channel. 554 00:30:44,218 --> 00:30:45,258 - Yeah. 555 00:30:55,187 --> 00:30:56,807 - GUS: You told me you were from Norfolk, 556 00:30:56,897 --> 00:30:58,107 but then you told the machine 557 00:30:58,190 --> 00:30:59,280 that you were from Leicestershire. 558 00:30:59,358 --> 00:31:01,278 - ELTON: I got confused. 559 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,780 - GUS: Sorry but, I mean, who gets confused about 560 00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:05,072 where the bloody hell they're from? 561 00:31:07,741 --> 00:31:09,871 - Look, I don't want to talk about it. 562 00:31:09,952 --> 00:31:11,202 I just want to be a normal person 563 00:31:11,287 --> 00:31:12,707 and have a normal job. 564 00:31:12,788 --> 00:31:14,918 And I don't want anything to do with ghosts ever again. 565 00:31:14,999 --> 00:31:17,379 - Help! You've gotta help me. 566 00:31:17,459 --> 00:31:19,379 I think I'm being chased by ghosts. 567 00:31:19,461 --> 00:31:20,501 - Huh. 568 00:31:23,340 --> 00:31:26,300 ♪♪