WEBVTT 1 00:00:02,306 --> 00:00:03,699 NANDOR: Guillermo, I want you to go 2 00:00:03,742 --> 00:00:05,222 tomorrow, and I want you to get 3 00:00:05,266 --> 00:00:08,051 some of those things that humans use for smelling. 4 00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:10,314 Rhymes with "hoses." 5 00:00:10,358 --> 00:00:11,837 Noses? 6 00:00:11,881 --> 00:00:13,926 NANDOR: No. It's a green, spiky stick. 7 00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,841 You know, with the colors on the top. 8 00:00:15,885 --> 00:00:17,713 You got the red. "I love you. 9 00:00:17,756 --> 00:00:19,715 -Here's some..." -Roses. 10 00:00:19,758 --> 00:00:21,282 NANDOR: Roses, yes. 11 00:00:21,325 --> 00:00:25,068 The Baron's attic has got a bitof a dank whiff. 12 00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:26,287 Since the Baron arrived, 13 00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:28,028 things have been very stressful. 14 00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:32,293 That's our familiar. 15 00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:34,295 NANDOR: He's staying in our attic at the moment, and 16 00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:38,473 that's a lot of storage space that we-we can't use. 17 00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:40,431 When is he going to leave, anyway? 18 00:00:40,475 --> 00:00:41,911 Shh, Nadja! 19 00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:44,218 Guillermo. 20 00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:47,525 Well, pull it, then. 21 00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:49,092 [loud clatter] 22 00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:50,311 -NADJA: Oh! -Too loud! 23 00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:51,747 -He needs to pipe down with that. -Yes. 24 00:00:51,790 --> 00:00:53,705 -When will he leave? -Shh. 25 00:00:53,749 --> 00:00:56,099 Nadja, you must keep your voice down, my darling. 26 00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:58,493 Oh, for goodness' sake, I'm not scared of him. 27 00:00:58,536 --> 00:01:00,495 -[cries out] -Oh... 28 00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:05,021 The Baron has awakened? 29 00:01:09,025 --> 00:01:12,159 Sorry, was that a yes? 30 00:01:13,812 --> 00:01:15,118 -LASZLO: Was it a nod? -No, I asked and she went, 31 00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:16,902 she went and did this. 32 00:01:16,946 --> 00:01:18,208 That is a nod, I've seen her do it before. 33 00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:19,731 What, this? Like this? 34 00:01:19,775 --> 00:01:21,255 -He's awake. -COLIN: He's awake. 35 00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:22,734 [laughs]: Oh, he's awake. 36 00:01:22,778 --> 00:01:24,910 All right, I-I can feel 37 00:01:24,954 --> 00:01:27,478 his energy, it's very dark and angry, and I think 38 00:01:27,522 --> 00:01:30,351 it's pointed at you guys. [chuckles] 39 00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:31,526 Hate to be you guys. 40 00:01:31,569 --> 00:01:34,224 ["You're Dead" by Norma Tanega playing] 41 00:01:34,268 --> 00:01:37,271 ♪ Don't sing if you want to live long♪ 42 00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:39,925 ♪ They have no use for your song♪ 43 00:01:39,969 --> 00:01:42,493 ♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead♪ 44 00:01:42,537 --> 00:01:44,974 ♪ You're dead and out of this world♪ 45 00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:50,153 ♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone♪ 46 00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:52,808 ♪ You sold out your dream to the world♪ 47 00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:55,245 ♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead♪ 48 00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:58,727 ♪ You're dead and out of this world.♪ 49 00:01:58,770 --> 00:02:02,078 ♪ 50 00:02:07,431 --> 00:02:11,740 In Europe, a couple of centuries ago, the Baron was a fun guy. 51 00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:14,569 And we got up to some very messy business together. 52 00:02:14,612 --> 00:02:16,397 -Yes. -Problem is, 53 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,181 he's turned up recently 54 00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:21,793 with what only can be describedas pretty old-fashioned ideas. 55 00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:25,362 He's obsessed with the idea ofvampires taking over all humans, 56 00:02:25,406 --> 00:02:28,191 which, at first, you're like, "Oh, that's a cool idea," 57 00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:30,759 but then, after a while, it's like, 58 00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:32,761 "Sorry, why are we doing this?" 59 00:02:32,804 --> 00:02:34,980 Yeah. 60 00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:36,330 You can bet your balls he's gonna be furious 61 00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:37,983 we haven't come up with a conquering plan. 62 00:02:38,027 --> 00:02:39,202 NANDOR: Maybe he's not angry. 63 00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:40,638 Maybe he's just wanting a chat? 64 00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:43,337 Get up with the latest vampire gossip. 65 00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:44,773 -[mouths]-That's highly unlucky, Nandor. 66 00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:46,340 The man's a fucking psychopath. 67 00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:47,993 I think he's going to kill us all. 68 00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:49,343 That's more likely. 69 00:02:49,386 --> 00:02:51,345 Baron, we are here. 70 00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,651 But there's really no needfor any kind of grand entrance. 71 00:02:53,695 --> 00:02:56,611 Or j-just do your bit-- that's fine, too. 72 00:02:56,654 --> 00:02:59,614 [thunder rumbles] 73 00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:03,052 ♪ In nomine Patris...♪ 74 00:03:03,095 --> 00:03:05,010 My slumber is... 75 00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:06,098 [distorted]: complete. 76 00:03:06,142 --> 00:03:07,361 Great. Uh, we weren't sure 77 00:03:07,404 --> 00:03:09,450 that you wanted us to conquer the whole 78 00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:11,626 of North America, or just, you know, maybe a couple streets? 79 00:03:11,669 --> 00:03:13,845 [distorted]: Silence! 80 00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:17,806 I have heard so much of the wonders of this New World, 81 00:03:17,849 --> 00:03:21,244 yet I have seen of it not but this attic. 82 00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:24,465 Uh, would you like us to get you a TV? 83 00:03:24,508 --> 00:03:25,857 No. 84 00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:28,643 I want to see the sights. 85 00:03:28,686 --> 00:03:30,645 -I want a night on the town. -[thunder crashes] 86 00:03:30,688 --> 00:03:33,256 A night on the town? 87 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,084 Really? I mean, won't that be a bit difficult 88 00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:36,128 with your, um...? [grunts] 89 00:03:36,172 --> 00:03:37,521 [Nadja gasps] 90 00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:38,479 Oh. 91 00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,481 You were saying? 92 00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:45,094 [strains]: No, but I'm sure we can help you fit in. 93 00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:46,530 [grunts] 94 00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:47,836 Marvelous. 95 00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:51,274 -[coughs] -Ah, relax. 96 00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:53,842 This is going to be fun. 97 00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:55,060 No. 98 00:03:55,104 --> 00:03:56,497 Oh, that's the documentary crew. 99 00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:57,715 -[growls] -[screams] 100 00:03:57,759 --> 00:04:00,065 [buzzing, distorted audio] 101 00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:01,719 [dialogue inaudible] 102 00:04:01,763 --> 00:04:04,505 We are so sorry that... 103 00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:07,899 our houseguest ate your sound recordist. 104 00:04:07,943 --> 00:04:09,945 NADJA: This... what is this "conquering America" stuff? 105 00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:11,425 He's going to get us killed. 106 00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:13,427 Not unless he tries to kill us himself first. 107 00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:15,559 -He threw me straight across the room. -Most importantly, we are... 108 00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:17,300 [dialogue inaudible] 109 00:04:17,344 --> 00:04:18,432 ...that he ate your sound recordist. 110 00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:19,520 That was very... 111 00:04:19,563 --> 00:04:20,521 [dialogue inaudible] 112 00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:23,088 Yeah. Wasn't very cool. We'll, uh, 113 00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:25,308 we'll make sure we look after you people. 114 00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:26,744 And how are we going to do that? 115 00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:28,180 [whispers]: I don't know, uh... 116 00:04:33,011 --> 00:04:34,578 NADJA: Of course it's a trap. 117 00:04:34,622 --> 00:04:36,319 Why would the Baron want to go on a night out? 118 00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:38,408 Because he wants to know howmuch of America we've conquered. 119 00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:40,323 And when he finds out thatwe've just conquered our street 120 00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:42,456 and part of Ashley Street, he's going to kill us. 121 00:04:42,499 --> 00:04:44,719 But if we seriously think he's gonna "quack" us... 122 00:04:44,762 --> 00:04:46,764 -NADJA: Which we do. -...then we should "quack" him first. 123 00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:49,114 You want us to quackhim? 124 00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:52,683 If you think he's gonna "whack" us first, yes. 125 00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:55,904 Laszlo, be quiet. We will not discuss this any further. 126 00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:57,471 It is the greatest violation 127 00:04:57,514 --> 00:05:00,474 of the unnatural order by which we live. 128 00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:02,563 Also, can he even die? 129 00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:04,739 -[door closes] -NADJA: Oh, my... -[shouts] 130 00:05:04,782 --> 00:05:06,131 NANDOR: You happy now? You just scared 131 00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:07,481 the shit out of all three of us? 132 00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:08,960 Hmm? You don't knock anymore? 133 00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:11,354 Is this the new you? Hmm? 134 00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:13,487 Sorry, I just wanted to inform you that the Baron's ready. 135 00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,140 -Oh. -NADJA: God... 136 00:05:15,184 --> 00:05:16,490 He's really terrifying. 137 00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:19,144 Yes, okay, well, we all are, we are vampires. 138 00:05:19,188 --> 00:05:20,363 Well... 139 00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:22,452 -[hisses] -Eh. 140 00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:24,498 [hisses] 141 00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:26,935 Get out. 142 00:05:26,978 --> 00:05:29,241 We shall call this night Operation... 143 00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:31,592 Accidentally Kill the Baron. 144 00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:35,030 Absolutely not. At least think of a different name. 145 00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:38,381 This conversation never happened. 146 00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,561 [owl hoots] 147 00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:48,435 [creaking] 148 00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:51,263 [whispering]: She keeps looking at me. 149 00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:55,485 Don't look at her. 150 00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:57,182 [door opens] 151 00:05:57,226 --> 00:05:59,750 [Nadja laughs nervously] 152 00:05:59,794 --> 00:06:02,013 Bloody hell, he's wearing two ruffs. 153 00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:07,497 -[applause] -Let our grand evening on the town commence. 154 00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:08,977 -NADJA: Yes! Very good. -[chuckles] Yes. 155 00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:12,807 Yes, uh, this is what you're going to wear? 156 00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:15,853 Is it not right? 157 00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:19,553 Y-Yes, I mean, you look the... dog's knackers. 158 00:06:19,596 --> 00:06:23,034 But, um, where we come from, two ruffs 159 00:06:23,078 --> 00:06:25,210 means you're up for anything. 160 00:06:25,254 --> 00:06:27,778 Uh, it's best just to kind ofblend in like-- like we are now. 161 00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:29,606 Yes. 162 00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:31,826 Yes, I see. 163 00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:35,656 I want to walk amongst the commoners unnoticed. 164 00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:37,614 -NADJA: Yes. -A prince amongst paupers. 165 00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:39,573 -NADJA: Yes, very good. Very good. -NANDOR: Exactly. 166 00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:42,053 Two ruffs don't make a right. 167 00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:45,013 [low snarl] 168 00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:46,710 Colin Robinson. 169 00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:49,887 Oh, wow. Uh... hello. 170 00:06:49,931 --> 00:06:51,802 NANDOR:You wouldn't happen to have any 171 00:06:51,846 --> 00:06:55,284 human-type clothes to lend to the Baron? 172 00:06:55,327 --> 00:06:58,809 Uh, yeah, I-I could scrounge something up. 173 00:06:58,853 --> 00:07:00,028 What size are you? 174 00:07:00,071 --> 00:07:01,682 Mm, this size. 175 00:07:01,725 --> 00:07:05,250 And what kind of vibe are-are you going for? 176 00:07:05,294 --> 00:07:09,037 Jeans, T-shirt? Are you a jeansand T-shirt type of guy? 177 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,691 Probably not shorts. 178 00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:15,260 Um, maybe some cords, some w-wale cords. 179 00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:17,262 He is not coming along, is he? 180 00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:19,482 I will take care of it. 181 00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:23,094 Oh, okay. But don't make a big thing out of it. 182 00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:24,879 -Mm? -Okay. 183 00:07:24,922 --> 00:07:28,622 LASZLO: Vampires have hidden amongst humans 184 00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:30,319 for millennia. 185 00:07:30,362 --> 00:07:32,582 There are some in the community that believe 186 00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:35,716 that vampires should rule the world. 187 00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:37,500 One such person 188 00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:38,719 is the Baron. 189 00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:41,069 And he's become a massive prick. 190 00:07:41,112 --> 00:07:43,288 Absolutely agree. 191 00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:46,335 LASZLO: Which is ironic, because he doesn't have one. 192 00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:50,121 [bats squeaking] 193 00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:52,646 Where is he? 194 00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:55,126 He was right behind us. 195 00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:56,780 -[cawing] -LASZLO: Ah. 196 00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:58,869 NANDOR: He's going to frighten the townspeople. 197 00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:02,090 -Oh. -[grunts] 198 00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:04,179 -LASZLO: Um... -MAN: Holy shit. 199 00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:06,311 A lot of these buildings are, uh, are taverns, 200 00:08:06,355 --> 00:08:08,749 -or bars as they call them. -NADJA: Don't mind him. 201 00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:10,098 -WOMAN: Did you see that? -Why are these pedestrians 202 00:08:10,141 --> 00:08:11,360 making rictus faces at us? 203 00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:12,579 MAN 2: Oh, my God. 204 00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:14,406 Devils suck, man. [chuckles] 205 00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:15,407 We are vampires! 206 00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:16,583 Shh! What are you doing? 207 00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:18,759 He is literally going around, 208 00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:22,110 telling everyone, "Nice to meetyou, I am vampire." 209 00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:23,894 And, you know, there's only so many times 210 00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:26,723 you can say that he's joking, because look at his face. 211 00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:30,161 -Yo, Laz. Nadja. Whoa... -[low growl] 212 00:08:30,205 --> 00:08:33,774 I was just, uh, stocking upon some brews for the big game. 213 00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:35,950 Who is this guy? [groaning] 214 00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:38,126 NADJA: No, no, no. This is our neighbor Sean, sire. 215 00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:39,780 NANDOR: He brings our trash cans in 216 00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:41,738 when we forget them. 217 00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:42,739 [grunts] 218 00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:43,784 [coughs] 219 00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:45,960 What the fuck? How did he...? 220 00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:47,570 LASZLO: Shut up. You won't remember anything 221 00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:50,573 from the last five minutes. 222 00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:52,749 Yo, Laz, Nadja. 223 00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,925 I was just going to stock up on some more brews. 224 00:08:54,969 --> 00:08:57,406 -[groaning] -Oh, no, no, no, no. -LASZLO: No, no, no, no... 225 00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:00,714 BARON: We will fill this place 226 00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:03,412 with the carcasses of the conquered. 227 00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:05,936 Some humans will become slaves. 228 00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:08,417 The rest, food. 229 00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:10,854 Slave. 230 00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:12,856 WOMAN [over P.A.]: Pharmacy, pick up line three, please. 231 00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:13,857 Pharmacy, line three. 232 00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:15,380 [gasps] 233 00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:16,817 Food. 234 00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:19,167 He's as mad as a wax banana. 235 00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:21,169 -He's a fucking liability. -I think it might be 236 00:09:21,212 --> 00:09:22,736 better if he dies. 237 00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:25,869 How about we just put his coffinon a nice, long ocean journey? 238 00:09:25,913 --> 00:09:28,959 Look at this wonderful talisman. 239 00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:31,222 -Whoop. -[laughter] 240 00:09:31,266 --> 00:09:33,747 Need I haggle with the proprietor? 241 00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:36,837 -Just put it in your pocket. -Hmm. It is done. 242 00:09:37,838 --> 00:09:40,884 BARON: Let us see, what to drink. 243 00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:42,625 What to... [gasps] 244 00:09:42,669 --> 00:09:45,410 [moans] 245 00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:46,455 -LASZLO: Oh, no, no. -[laughs] 246 00:09:46,498 --> 00:09:48,631 [overlapping chatter] 247 00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:50,807 NANDOR:Oh, give him a nice hug from us. 248 00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:52,809 -Is he okay? I... -NADJA: Ha, ha. 249 00:09:52,853 --> 00:09:54,855 Whoa, dear. Hi. 250 00:09:54,898 --> 00:09:57,422 The Baron is being very loud and obvious 251 00:09:57,466 --> 00:10:00,904 and vampirey and reckless. 252 00:10:00,948 --> 00:10:03,777 He had a very high alcohol content. 253 00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:06,431 Do you think maybe we should move the body? 254 00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:09,043 Now he's just gone up to a drunk man 255 00:10:09,086 --> 00:10:10,914 and he's drunk the drunk man's blood 256 00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:13,047 that has made him drunk. 257 00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:15,223 [sighs] Okay. That's a... 258 00:10:15,266 --> 00:10:16,877 Just a little dizzy. Okay. 259 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,270 -A little dizzy, little dizzy. -[mouthing] 260 00:10:19,314 --> 00:10:20,532 [mouthing] 261 00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:22,665 [all whispering] 262 00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:24,319 I am better. 263 00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:26,451 Back in the saddle. 264 00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:28,366 The drinking saddle! 265 00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:30,717 That was bollocks. 266 00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:38,507 ♪ We need you now...♪ 267 00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:40,944 You people are as much fun as the plague. 268 00:10:40,988 --> 00:10:43,033 Remember the plague? And how much fun it was? 269 00:10:43,077 --> 00:10:44,513 That's this. 270 00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:47,255 -Let's liven this place up. -Not too lively. 271 00:10:47,298 --> 00:10:51,259 It's very important to just blend in and go with the flow. 272 00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:52,695 Or we could do shots. 273 00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:55,089 Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, 274 00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:57,482 shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, 275 00:10:57,526 --> 00:10:58,919 shots, shots, shots, shots. 276 00:10:58,962 --> 00:11:00,703 [man gasping] 277 00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:01,878 LASZLO: For God's sake. 278 00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:04,968 Oh, who wants a shot? [snarls] 279 00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:06,491 We could do shots. 280 00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:07,884 [Baron moaning] 281 00:11:07,928 --> 00:11:10,844 Just a minute. 282 00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:13,716 -[all laughing] -And I said, 283 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,893 "No, how do you like yourstakes?" 284 00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:19,983 And pushed itright through his stupid heart. 285 00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:22,072 [Nadja shrieks with laughter] 286 00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:24,118 You know I'm not really a baron. 287 00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:25,728 NANDOR [slurring]: Yes, you are. 288 00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:27,730 You're the Baron. 289 00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:30,951 No, I am not. It was a nickname. 290 00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:32,735 To tease me. 291 00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:35,607 Barren, B-A-R-R-E-N. 292 00:11:35,651 --> 00:11:36,739 Huh. 293 00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,828 Because I cannot sire offspring 294 00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:41,875 due to my lack of genitals. 295 00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:44,181 -Hello-- whoop! -There it isn't. 296 00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:45,748 NADJA: I like it. 297 00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:48,969 All I ever wanted was a child of my own. 298 00:11:51,058 --> 00:11:53,408 Well, I don't know, Baron. 299 00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,367 Maybe we could be your children. 300 00:11:56,411 --> 00:11:58,543 -NADJA: Yes. -Yes. 301 00:11:58,587 --> 00:11:59,980 -Yes. -Also, maybe 302 00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:02,199 you want to pull your pants back up now or...? 303 00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:04,375 Hmm? Oh, of course. 304 00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:06,595 NADJA: Aw... 305 00:12:08,945 --> 00:12:10,904 [group laughing] 306 00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:12,993 NADJA: The Baron, 307 00:12:13,036 --> 00:12:14,995 he told us very sad story. 308 00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:17,911 We might not kill him now-- 309 00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,913 no, not going to kill him. 310 00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:23,394 BARON: It's just hard. 311 00:12:23,438 --> 00:12:27,007 I used to derive such pleasure from killing, 312 00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:28,922 but now... it's just a thing 313 00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:32,795 I do because... why? 314 00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:34,797 Because I've always done it, I guess? 315 00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:38,235 And these dark rages that overtake me, 316 00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:40,672 oh, my mind is devouring itself. 317 00:12:40,716 --> 00:12:42,022 Aw... 318 00:12:42,065 --> 00:12:43,458 We're all going through shit. 319 00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:45,199 It's hard doing what we do. 320 00:12:45,242 --> 00:12:47,157 BARON: You know... 321 00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:49,159 this is going to sound odd, but... 322 00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:51,031 I was thinking of killing all of you tonight. 323 00:12:51,074 --> 00:12:52,162 NADJA: Ah. 324 00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:53,990 -Yeah, yeah, I was. -Ah. 325 00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:55,818 BARON: What have I become? 326 00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:57,951 [Nadja and Laszlo chuckle weakly] 327 00:13:01,215 --> 00:13:02,912 Guess what. 328 00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:04,479 [Nandor giggles] 329 00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:08,396 We were going to kill you tonight, too. 330 00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:10,180 [snickers] 331 00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:14,054 [trio laughing] 332 00:13:14,097 --> 00:13:15,707 NANDOR: We were going to kill you! 333 00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:18,667 [laughing]: It was, it was Laszlo's idea. 334 00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:21,191 -Yeah, it was. -[trio laughing] 335 00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:22,627 He had the stake, 336 00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:24,064 -the... -[laughter stops] 337 00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:25,979 ...stake... 338 00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:29,460 I beg your pardon? 339 00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:30,897 NANDOR: Uh... 340 00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:32,507 LASZLO: He was just joking, it was, 341 00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:34,857 it was just an idea that we were kicking upstream. 342 00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,946 NANDOR: Was more of a "what if" situation. 343 00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:40,645 -Like, "What if?" and then "No."-Shut up. 344 00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:42,299 -[groans] -[Nadja giggles nervously] 345 00:13:42,343 --> 00:13:45,520 You... "kicked upstream" 346 00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:48,653 the idea of killing... 347 00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:50,090 me? 348 00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:52,657 As a joke. Nothing more. 349 00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:54,094 NADJA: Just a-- a laugh. 350 00:13:54,137 --> 00:13:55,138 NANDOR: Nothing happened. 351 00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:05,061 [laughs] 352 00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:06,671 LASZLO: Oh... 353 00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:08,325 -Your faces! -Oh, the Baron... 354 00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:09,761 -Oh... -You shithead. 355 00:14:09,805 --> 00:14:11,676 BARON: Oh, I am proud of you. 356 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,678 If I were you, I would have done the same thing. 357 00:14:13,722 --> 00:14:15,028 [all laughing, chattering] 358 00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:16,333 BARON: Where is next? 359 00:14:16,377 --> 00:14:18,248 You know what I have always wanted to try? 360 00:14:18,292 --> 00:14:19,946 -Coprophilia. -No. 361 00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:21,556 Pizza pie. 362 00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:24,080 Is it as wonderful as they sa...? 363 00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,908 Coprophilia? 364 00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:27,692 Sire, this is an even worse idea 365 00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:29,564 than when we tried to invade Vienna. 366 00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:31,087 It's certainly going to make you very ill. 367 00:14:31,131 --> 00:14:33,176 I'm having pizza pie. 368 00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:35,744 Oh, no, no, no. 369 00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:37,789 [trio groaning in disgust] 370 00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:39,313 Mmm. 371 00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:40,705 [chuckles] 372 00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:42,316 Mmm. 373 00:14:42,359 --> 00:14:43,926 The garlic burnt a little, but... 374 00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:44,971 [retches] 375 00:14:46,102 --> 00:14:48,104 [group gasping, groaning] 376 00:14:49,366 --> 00:14:51,064 Down he goes. 377 00:14:51,107 --> 00:14:52,761 -[retching] -NANDOR: He's up again. 378 00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:53,762 NADJA: The Baron has eaten 379 00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:55,938 some human food and now his body 380 00:14:55,982 --> 00:14:58,593 is being propelled around by his own vomit. 381 00:14:58,636 --> 00:15:00,073 -LASZLO: Is he all right?-NANDOR: Now, where's he going? 382 00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:01,770 NADJA: So, that's what's happening 383 00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:03,119 right now. 384 00:15:04,773 --> 00:15:06,340 [trio gasping] 385 00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:08,385 -LASZLO: There he is. -NADJA: Ooh. 386 00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:14,000 ♪ 387 00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:19,962 Uh... 388 00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:21,529 [Laszlo and Nandor gasp] 389 00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:23,357 Totally worth it. 390 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:24,749 What is next? 391 00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:26,795 [techno music playing] 392 00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:39,808 -[techno music playing] -[Baron hisses] 393 00:15:39,851 --> 00:15:41,810 [gasps] 394 00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:45,596 [growls] 395 00:15:49,644 --> 00:15:51,994 ♪ I♪ 396 00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:55,215 ♪ I'm alive♪ 397 00:15:55,258 --> 00:16:00,220 ♪ I'm alive.♪ 398 00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:02,135 We drank the blood of some people, 399 00:16:02,178 --> 00:16:04,354 but the people were on drugs 400 00:16:04,398 --> 00:16:06,791 and now I am a wizard. 401 00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:11,013 The Baron is, is very, actually... great man... 402 00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:12,406 I drank the drug blood. 403 00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:14,234 Yes, I drank some drug blood. 404 00:16:14,277 --> 00:16:16,236 We drank-- we've done some drug blood. 405 00:16:16,279 --> 00:16:18,803 BARON: ♪ It is the time♪ 406 00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:20,805 ♪ Of the season♪ 407 00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:24,244 ♪ When the love runs high♪ 408 00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:25,636 ♪ It is the time...♪ 409 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:29,162 That's the Baron I remember. 410 00:16:29,205 --> 00:16:31,860 Having a really great time, 411 00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:33,905 but it's almost sunup. 412 00:16:33,949 --> 00:16:36,691 I think we should leave soon,otherwise we're gonna be fried. 413 00:16:36,734 --> 00:16:41,609 ♪ It's the time of the season♪ 414 00:16:41,652 --> 00:16:46,266 ♪ For loving♪ 415 00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:47,832 ♪ Ah.♪ 416 00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:49,834 Laszlo, can you see if they have 417 00:16:49,878 --> 00:16:52,185 "Girl in the Village with the One Small Foot" 418 00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:54,056 by Vasilios the Balladeer? 419 00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,840 -Yep. -Never mind. 420 00:16:55,884 --> 00:16:57,146 I'll sing a cappella. 421 00:16:57,190 --> 00:16:58,713 -[clears throat] -LASZLO: Okay. 422 00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:01,672 ♪ There was a girl in the village♪ 423 00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:04,849 ♪ She had one very small foot♪ 424 00:17:04,893 --> 00:17:07,069 ♪ Did she lose her foot in the well?♪ 425 00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:08,636 -It is time to return to our den. -♪ No one knows♪ 426 00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:11,856 -♪ No one knows...♪ -Party's over. 427 00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:13,336 [distorted]: I said we are leaving! 428 00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:14,642 [feedback] 429 00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:16,296 -NANDOR: We should go. -LASZLO: Yeah, yeah. 430 00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:17,514 -[keys jangling] -NADJA: The sun is coming. 431 00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:19,342 NANDOR: The door's stuck again. 432 00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:21,431 Everyone, quickly, the sun is coming. 433 00:17:21,475 --> 00:17:22,737 [cheering, laughter] 434 00:17:22,780 --> 00:17:25,305 -♪ Par-tay!♪ -Come on. 435 00:17:25,348 --> 00:17:27,307 Just one foot at a time, Baron. 436 00:17:27,350 --> 00:17:29,222 COLIN: Someone sure had a good time, huh? 437 00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:32,094 NADJA: Colin Robinson, we missed you. 438 00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:33,139 -BARON: Hi. -What? 439 00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:34,662 What-What's wrong with you? 440 00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:36,098 We are on drugs. 441 00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:38,535 [Baron pants] 442 00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:40,320 Have you partaken of the pizza pie? 443 00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:43,671 [group laughing] 444 00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:45,673 NANDOR: I can do this, I can do this. 445 00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:48,197 NADJA [laughing]: Oh, no, the sunlight. 446 00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:49,894 -[laughs] -Laszlo! 447 00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:51,331 Careful. 448 00:17:51,374 --> 00:17:52,462 Be careful. 449 00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:53,898 -Oh... -Oh, man. 450 00:17:53,942 --> 00:17:55,248 BARON: Look at this... wait. 451 00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:58,120 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! 452 00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,513 No, the sunlight. 453 00:17:59,556 --> 00:18:01,254 I'm so scared. 454 00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:02,690 No, no, no, Baron. 455 00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:04,518 -Baron... -No, no, no, no! 456 00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:07,260 No, no, no, no, go easy. It's dangerous, man. 457 00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:09,131 He's being an idiot. Come on, Baron. 458 00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:11,264 You're a bunch of pussies... [yelps] 459 00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:12,743 [groans, laughs] 460 00:18:12,787 --> 00:18:13,918 NADJA [laughing]: See what you've done. 461 00:18:13,962 --> 00:18:15,224 -Did you see that? -You hurt yourself. 462 00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:17,313 -Come on, Baron. -Put your night skirts on 463 00:18:17,357 --> 00:18:18,706 -and go to coffin. -BARON: All right, okay, 464 00:18:18,749 --> 00:18:20,360 -okay, okay. -Go to coffin, Baron. 465 00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:23,363 Thing off, I don't know how to work this. [laughs] 466 00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:24,494 -[Nadja laughs, gasps] -Oh-- ah! 467 00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:25,495 LASZLO: Oh, shit. 468 00:18:25,539 --> 00:18:27,758 [Baron gasping] 469 00:18:27,802 --> 00:18:30,196 [grunting] 470 00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:32,372 LASZLO: Baron? 471 00:18:32,415 --> 00:18:34,983 Well, that was unexpected. [laughs] 472 00:18:35,026 --> 00:18:36,811 Uh, oh-- oh... 473 00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:40,293 oh... aw... 474 00:18:40,336 --> 00:18:42,338 Hello. Oh. 475 00:18:42,382 --> 00:18:44,384 [exclaims] 476 00:18:44,427 --> 00:18:46,386 -NADJA: Shit. -LASZLO: Shit. 477 00:18:46,429 --> 00:18:47,952 -Is he dead? -Oh, no. 478 00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:50,390 [hisses] Ouchie. 479 00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:52,174 Just a little sore. 480 00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:54,176 Oh, God-- Oh. Oh... 481 00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:56,309 lucky I missed these wooden stakes. 482 00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:57,832 [all laugh] 483 00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:59,573 He's safe. 484 00:18:59,616 --> 00:19:01,749 I am okay. 485 00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:04,317 [yelps] 486 00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:10,192 What's that smell? 487 00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:11,802 Hey, I got the rose... 488 00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:16,111 [whispers]: Fuck. 489 00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:18,244 [gasps] 490 00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:21,551 Oh... 491 00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:23,031 -Wow. -[groans] 492 00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:25,033 Oh, shit. 493 00:19:25,076 --> 00:19:26,991 ♪ Let's go sunning♪ 494 00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:28,428 ♪ It's so good for you♪ 495 00:19:28,471 --> 00:19:30,343 ♪ Let's go sunning♪ 496 00:19:30,386 --> 00:19:32,432 ♪ 'Neath the sky of blue♪ 497 00:19:32,475 --> 00:19:35,261 ♪ Greet the sun every morn♪ 498 00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:38,264 ♪ Feel as free and happy as the day you were born♪ 499 00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,657 ♪ Let's go native♪ 500 00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:43,573 ♪ Sun your cares away, be creative♪ 501 00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:45,575 ♪ Learn to live and play♪ 502 00:19:45,619 --> 00:19:48,361 ♪ Pretty flowers need the sun♪ 503 00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:51,886 ♪ This applies to everyone♪ 504 00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:55,019 ♪ Happiness to everyone♪ 505 00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:59,067 ♪ So let's go sunning.♪ 506 00:20:07,075 --> 00:20:09,120 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH