1
00:00:03,780 --> 00:00:05,300
He was a real spurter.

2
00:00:05,350 --> 00:00:06,886
Yeah, must have had
high blood pressure.

3
00:00:06,910 --> 00:00:08,156
Should probably see a physician.

4
00:00:08,180 --> 00:00:09,420
Well, he definitely should now.

5
00:00:10,790 --> 00:00:12,090
Oh, Laszlo, I feel wild.

6
00:00:12,140 --> 00:00:14,530
I want to do something
stupid and crazy.

7
00:00:14,570 --> 00:00:17,320
All right. What say
we retire to our bedchamber

8
00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:20,320
and slip into some
informal evening wear?

9
00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:22,890
And by that, I mean the nude.

10
00:00:22,930 --> 00:00:26,280
Oh, Laszlo.

11
00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:28,280
Laszlo?

12
00:00:28,330 --> 00:00:30,110
Shh. Look.

13
00:00:31,370 --> 00:00:32,980
That's our new neighbor, Phil.

14
00:00:33,030 --> 00:00:35,990
Digestif, my darkest princess?

15
00:00:36,030 --> 00:00:38,340
Laszlo, we've just eaten.

16
00:00:38,380 --> 00:00:39,770
I want to do
something different.

17
00:00:41,380 --> 00:00:43,340
Well, why don't I eat
and you watch?

18
00:00:43,390 --> 00:00:44,430
That's kinky.

19
00:00:44,470 --> 00:00:46,130
Is it?

20
00:00:46,170 --> 00:00:48,650
Bickering like
a couple of ninnies.

21
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:51,310
I know, right?
It's like, "Sheesh. We get it.

22
00:00:51,350 --> 00:00:52,870
You've been together
for centuries."

23
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:54,960
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

24
00:00:55,010 --> 00:00:56,790
Those are vampires.

25
00:00:56,830 --> 00:00:58,310
You don't get to insult them.

26
00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:00,230
- I was just...
- You're not a vampire.

27
00:01:00,270 --> 00:01:01,530
- I'm sorry, Master.
- Geez.

28
00:01:01,580 --> 00:01:03,100
I mean, come on,
we get it already.

29
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:05,280
You've been married
for centuries.

30
00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:07,670
Watch this.

31
00:01:07,710 --> 00:01:09,240
Bat.

32
00:01:13,630 --> 00:01:16,550
Just get on with it, Laszlo.

33
00:01:19,290 --> 00:01:21,250
Come to me, Phil.

34
00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:24,040
Submit to my dark power.

35
00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:27,260
Submit to my dark power.

36
00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:29,350
When was the last time
I felt his dark power?

37
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:31,830
I say come to me, Phil.

38
00:01:31,870 --> 00:01:35,390
- I'm not staying for this. You're being very boring.
- Submit to my dark power.

39
00:01:36,870 --> 00:01:38,790
Phil? I'm home.

40
00:01:38,830 --> 00:01:40,790
- Phil? Who are you talking to?
- Shit. Bat!

41
00:01:49,450 --> 00:01:50,840
- Oh!
- Oh, shit.

42
00:01:50,890 --> 00:01:52,150
The fuck?

43
00:01:52,190 --> 00:01:53,370
Ooh...

44
00:01:53,410 --> 00:01:55,630
["You're Dead"
by Norma Tanega playing]

45
00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:58,240
♪ Don't sing if you want
to live long ♪

46
00:01:58,290 --> 00:02:00,640
♪ They have no use
for your song ♪

47
00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:03,160
♪ You're dead, you're dead,
you're dead ♪

48
00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:05,690
♪ You're dead
and out of this world ♪

49
00:02:07,690 --> 00:02:10,820
♪ Now your hope and compassion
is gone ♪

50
00:02:10,860 --> 00:02:13,430
♪ You sold out your dream
to the world ♪

51
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,960
♪ Stay dead, stay dead,
stay dead ♪

52
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,520
♪ You're dead
and out of this world. ♪

53
00:02:27,450 --> 00:02:29,670
- Come on.
- What's going on?

54
00:02:29,710 --> 00:02:32,190
Laszlo was over at Phil's house.
Okay.

55
00:02:32,230 --> 00:02:34,410
And Phil's girlfriend hit him
over the head

56
00:02:34,450 --> 00:02:35,980
- and knocked him unconscious.
- Okay.

57
00:02:36,020 --> 00:02:37,670
So now we need to rescue him.

58
00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:38,980
Well, where's Nadja, though?

59
00:02:39,020 --> 00:02:41,240
I don't know.

60
00:02:41,290 --> 00:02:45,330
Obviously, being in a marriage
for centuries can get boring.

61
00:02:45,380 --> 00:02:47,470
And it is in these moments
of dissatisfaction

62
00:02:47,510 --> 00:02:52,250
that I think about
my human ex-lover, Gregor.

63
00:02:52,300 --> 00:02:55,260
Oh, he is the most
fantastic of men.

64
00:02:57,130 --> 00:02:59,090
If I did have to give
one criticism, though,

65
00:02:59,130 --> 00:03:01,260
it would be that he did
accidentally get

66
00:03:01,310 --> 00:03:03,270
his head cut off
in every life he's had.

67
00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:07,700
Such short, sweet lives.

68
00:03:07,750 --> 00:03:10,190
Shit. Shit, shit.

69
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:15,840
No, no, no, no, no, no.

70
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,240
Please take the ticket.

71
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,940
Holy shit. Wow.

72
00:03:22,980 --> 00:03:24,500
He has been reincarnated again.

73
00:03:24,550 --> 00:03:27,380
And in this life,
he is called Jep...

74
00:03:27,420 --> 00:03:29,380
Jean. Jange.

75
00:03:29,420 --> 00:03:33,730
Uh, no, it's, um, Jex.

76
00:03:33,770 --> 00:03:36,250
Jesh. Jenk?

77
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:39,430
It-it sounds like Jesh.

78
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,650
But, no doubt,
he has been reborn

79
00:03:41,690 --> 00:03:43,520
as another heroic figure.

80
00:03:43,570 --> 00:03:45,090
Hey, hey, hey! No, no, no!

81
00:03:45,130 --> 00:03:46,636
I told you guys, okay,
you're not supposed

82
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,750
to come in here unless
you have a car, all right?

83
00:03:48,790 --> 00:03:50,416
And, uh, those don't
look like cars, so...

84
00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,620
- You're not a cop, man.
- I'm not a...

85
00:03:52,660 --> 00:03:55,490
- You can't tell us what to do.
- All right, I'm taking your name down.

86
00:03:55,530 --> 00:03:56,726
I'm taking your name down. Hey.

87
00:03:56,750 --> 00:03:58,490
In the camouflage.
I can still see you.

88
00:03:58,540 --> 00:04:00,500
All right,

89
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:03,630
one of us needs to be
invited inand get Laszlo.

90
00:04:03,670 --> 00:04:05,410
I am nominating Guillermo,

91
00:04:05,460 --> 00:04:07,306
because I am too foreign
and you are too boring.

92
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,370
Well, Guillermo doesn't need
to be invited,

93
00:04:09,420 --> 00:04:11,160
as he's a human being.

94
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,640
I would prefer to be invited in.
It's more polite.

95
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,210
Actually, it looks
like it's a moot point.

96
00:04:19,430 --> 00:04:21,910
They've stolen Laszlo.

97
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:30,050
I'm not approaching him.
Just going to watch.

98
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:46,370
Gregor. Gregor.

99
00:04:46,410 --> 00:04:49,890
He's not answering, 'cause
that-that is not his name.

100
00:04:49,940 --> 00:04:52,110
Jesk.

101
00:04:53,420 --> 00:04:55,590
Hey. Wow.

102
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:58,550
What a wonderful shock it is
to see you here.

103
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,560
- Yes.
- Do you think maybe

104
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,470
you could let me into
your shelter of automobiles?

105
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,040
What?

106
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,950
Oh, uh, yeah.
Come on in, of course. Yeah.

107
00:05:09,390 --> 00:05:11,220
Well, how have you been?
I-I didn't think

108
00:05:11,260 --> 00:05:12,480
I'd ever see you again.

109
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,440
You will always see me again.

110
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,620
Okay.
Uh, this is where I work.

111
00:05:17,660 --> 00:05:20,360
Hence the...
why I'm working here.

112
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:21,580
- Amazing.
- Yeah.

113
00:05:21,620 --> 00:05:23,970
You are protecting
a vast empire.

114
00:05:24,010 --> 00:05:26,580
Three floors, yeah.

115
00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:28,580
Are the cameras with you?

116
00:05:28,630 --> 00:05:31,060
You don't see the cameras.

117
00:05:31,110 --> 00:05:34,630
Okay. Yeah. Come on in.

118
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:38,640
Oh, we got your birds,
your rats... people hate rats.

119
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:40,030
Then you got your skunks.

120
00:05:40,070 --> 00:05:41,810
We get a lot of calls
for skunks.

121
00:05:41,860 --> 00:05:45,040
I have to get closer
to see if he's in there.

122
00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:50,610
Sounds like an owl to me.

123
00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:52,740
So do you keep your horses
on one of the levels?

124
00:05:52,780 --> 00:05:54,570
Uh, no. There was a Jaguar
in here once.

125
00:05:54,610 --> 00:05:56,960
It's a pretty nice car.
Just thought it was pretty cool.

126
00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:00,010
I have met Gregor
in many incarnations.

127
00:06:00,050 --> 00:06:03,790
Soldier, spy,
wax seller, monger,

128
00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:08,320
carpet monger, suitcase monger,

129
00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:10,540
fishmonger, fly monger.

130
00:06:10,580 --> 00:06:12,540
He mongers a lot in his lives.

131
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:15,630
Your job is so complicated,
Gregor.

132
00:06:15,670 --> 00:06:17,460
- Oh...
- So stimulating.

133
00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:19,460
No.

134
00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:21,420
A-Again, you know,
it, uh... it's "Jeff."

135
00:06:21,460 --> 00:06:22,680
Shh.

136
00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:24,860
I have crossed oceans of time
to be with you.

137
00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:28,860
- I'm imagining swimming through time.
- Yes...

138
00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:31,600
- But I have.
- Oh, wow.

139
00:06:31,650 --> 00:06:34,000
Well, I'm gonna get
off work here, in a second.

140
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:37,570
I just got a little bit moreto
do, if you want to hang out.

141
00:06:37,610 --> 00:06:40,870
Oh, it is forbidden,
but ten, 15 minutes?

142
00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:42,700
- Yes, that's great.
- I will see you then.

143
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:44,830
Okay, cool.

144
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:48,140
He's always got a very,
very strong sexual energy

145
00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:51,490
that calls to my sexual energy.

146
00:06:51,540 --> 00:06:53,500
Deeply sexual.

147
00:06:53,540 --> 00:06:55,190
That's Gregor.

148
00:06:57,060 --> 00:06:59,590
So, our roommate, Laszlo,
was knocked unconscious

149
00:06:59,630 --> 00:07:03,590
whilst in bat form by ourneighbor,
uh, Phil's girlfriend,

150
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:07,940
and he's now caged and inside
the animal shelter.

151
00:07:07,990 --> 00:07:12,120
Uh, uh, Laszlo, not Phil,
our neighbor's girlfriend.

152
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:13,910
Yes.

153
00:07:13,950 --> 00:07:15,600
We must get him out
before daybreak.

154
00:07:15,650 --> 00:07:17,130
Well, and that's the thing

155
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:19,300
with these nightwalkers
here, isn't it?

156
00:07:19,350 --> 00:07:21,960
You know, a little bit
of sunlight, and poof.

157
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,350
They go up in flames.

158
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:27,180
- I've never gone poof, but it's okay.
- Not yet.

159
00:07:27,220 --> 00:07:30,490
The vampires are always like,
"Ooh! I'm a vampire.

160
00:07:30,530 --> 00:07:33,670
- I'm immortal. I'm...
- Whatever."

161
00:07:33,710 --> 00:07:37,760
Well, okay. Well, how about
you go be immortal at brunch?

162
00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:42,370
So what is the itinerary
for tonight?

163
00:07:42,410 --> 00:07:44,370
Are you going to punish
your worst enemy?

164
00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:46,370
Embarrass him
in front of his elders?

165
00:07:46,420 --> 00:07:48,550
- Oh, uh...
- Or are we going to destroy

166
00:07:48,590 --> 00:07:50,070
the worst criminals
from your village

167
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,420
and I will help?

168
00:07:51,470 --> 00:07:52,900
Wait, in Staten Island?

169
00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:55,600
How about find some red
witchesand cut their feet off?

170
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,600
We could go to the carnival.

171
00:07:57,650 --> 00:07:59,316
I mean, they've got games there.
It's pretty dope.

172
00:07:59,340 --> 00:08:00,950
It is like a freak show?

173
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,690
I don't think
you're supposed to say that.

174
00:08:02,740 --> 00:08:04,960
We used to have a freak show
in my village.

175
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,570
We would get given one balloon

176
00:08:06,610 --> 00:08:08,400
between all my brothers
and sisters.

177
00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:10,700
And then we would bite
at each other to get it.

178
00:08:10,750 --> 00:08:13,920
One year, my sister bit
my brother's thigh,

179
00:08:13,970 --> 00:08:16,400
and then we sold the meat
for money.

180
00:08:17,670 --> 00:08:20,630
Hello. C-Can we come in?

181
00:08:20,670 --> 00:08:24,370
Excuse us,
can we come into the shelter?

182
00:08:24,410 --> 00:08:26,590
We're open till 11:00.

183
00:08:26,630 --> 00:08:29,030
- Okay, that's great.
- We see that.

184
00:08:29,070 --> 00:08:31,640
Can we come in?

185
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,510
Yeah, come in.

186
00:08:37,860 --> 00:08:39,430
How's your night been, guys?

187
00:08:39,470 --> 00:08:41,820
- It's none of your business.
- What are you... What?

188
00:08:41,860 --> 00:08:43,780
- How's your night been?
- It's been fine.

189
00:08:43,820 --> 00:08:45,780
Okay, good. Ours has, too.

190
00:08:45,820 --> 00:08:48,830
Isn't this the one
that you ate last week?

191
00:08:48,870 --> 00:08:50,830
I didn't. I wouldn't.

192
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:54,220
It's locked.

193
00:08:54,270 --> 00:08:56,790
You guys looking
for the bathroom?

194
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,230
I need to do a two.

195
00:08:58,270 --> 00:09:01,360
It's right behind you, man.
That door.

196
00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:03,800
Wait. Where are you going?

197
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,930
They're not happy
tonight, Bobby.

198
00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:08,280
- Yeah, what's up?
- Oh, I brought in a bat.

199
00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:10,176
- Okay.
- A little fella, you got to see this guy.

200
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,760
- Look at his face.
- Yeah.

201
00:09:12,810 --> 00:09:15,070
This guy looks like
a little English guy.

202
00:09:15,110 --> 00:09:16,810
Yeah, he's a little,
little British chap.

203
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:18,616
Wait, wait, wait, let me blow
him up there. Look at...

204
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,640
- You see something? You see something?
- No way.

205
00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:24,430
- That is a bat's erect penis on that screen.
- Laszlo's.

206
00:09:24,470 --> 00:09:27,390
- Okay.
- We're gonna have to get him a little rabies shot.

207
00:09:27,430 --> 00:09:30,830
I want you to bring me the
strange bat with the erection.

208
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:33,220
Wait, hang on a second.
Can you imagine him

209
00:09:33,260 --> 00:09:36,400
with that little British
top hat, like, "Whoo..."

210
00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:37,766
- Like a little explorer.
- I don't think that worked.

211
00:09:37,790 --> 00:09:40,230
- I know.
- Not so hot at hypnotism, huh?

212
00:09:40,270 --> 00:09:43,450
I'm fine at hypnotism; it's
justyou can't hypnotize a subject

213
00:09:43,490 --> 00:09:44,840
that doesn't want
to do something

214
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:46,840
that you want them to do.

215
00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:49,060
If the only time
you can hypnotize someone

216
00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:53,460
is when you have them do
something they want to do,

217
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:55,290
then it's not really hypnotism, is it?

218
00:09:58,110 --> 00:09:59,900
Wait a minute,
can we help you guys?

219
00:09:59,940 --> 00:10:03,510
Uh, yeah. We're actually
lookingfor a lost pet.

220
00:10:03,550 --> 00:10:04,900
- Oh. Okay.
- Okay.

221
00:10:04,950 --> 00:10:08,040
- What kind of pet is it?
- A normal one.

222
00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:09,820
Like, a bat.

223
00:10:09,870 --> 00:10:11,650
Oh, now, bats are illegal.

224
00:10:11,690 --> 00:10:13,480
He said "cat," ma'am.

225
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:15,016
Well, if you have any sort
of missing animal,

226
00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:16,806
then you just need to fill out
the required paperwork,

227
00:10:16,830 --> 00:10:18,586
and then we'll go have a look
in the back for you.

228
00:10:18,610 --> 00:10:19,960
Fine.

229
00:10:26,140 --> 00:10:28,360
Gregor doesn't know
I am not human

230
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:31,020
and I cannot do certain
things, like eat human food.

231
00:10:31,060 --> 00:10:33,150
Hey. I got us some popcorn.

232
00:10:33,190 --> 00:10:35,280
What is it?

233
00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:37,680
Popcorn?
You've never had popcorn?

234
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:38,916
- You're gonna love it. Here, try it.
- Oh.

235
00:10:38,940 --> 00:10:40,616
- Just try one piece.
- Oh, I'm-I'm... No, I...

236
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,720
- No, just come on, just...
- Ooh, wait a minute.

237
00:10:42,770 --> 00:10:44,680
Got it? No, just...
let me put it in your mouth.

238
00:10:44,730 --> 00:10:45,860
If you just...

239
00:10:45,900 --> 00:10:47,820
If it touches your tongue,
it'll stay.

240
00:10:47,860 --> 00:10:49,170
It sticks to your tongue.

241
00:10:49,210 --> 00:10:50,730
That's what's
kind of fun about it.

242
00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:52,780
There you go. Yeah.

243
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:55,870
Mm. Hmm.

244
00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:06,700
Mm. That was so nice.

245
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,790
- Yeah.
- Hey, do you want more?

246
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,556
- Oh, no. I'm-I'm okay.
- I got a whole bucket.

247
00:11:10,580 --> 00:11:12,840
No! No. No.

248
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:16,320
Okay, so the ASBN-119
I need, but...

249
00:11:16,370 --> 00:11:19,760
MA-553 is of no use to me
whatsoever, correct?

250
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,410
Uh, exactly.

251
00:11:21,460 --> 00:11:25,770
I'm trying
to find an open window.

252
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,030
I think I found one.

253
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,130
Laszlo.

254
00:11:37,170 --> 00:11:38,560
There you are.

255
00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:40,830
I've come to rescue you.

256
00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:58,540
Gregor.
It is your beloved weapon.

257
00:11:58,580 --> 00:12:00,980
You are the master archer.

258
00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:04,020
Yeah. I... I am pretty good
at this in VR.

259
00:12:04,070 --> 00:12:07,110
Behold the great
Gregor the archer.

260
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,640
It's Jeff.

261
00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:11,940
Bring this place to its knees.

262
00:12:11,990 --> 00:12:14,690
Oh, shit.

263
00:12:14,730 --> 00:12:17,170
Imagine it is a horde
of Turkish.

264
00:12:17,210 --> 00:12:19,210
- Horde of what?
- Kill them.

265
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,260
I kind of suck at this.
I don't know.

266
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:26,220
What has happened to you?

267
00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:28,870
Stupid.

268
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:30,920
We are out, we are out,
we are out.

269
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,920
Here. Guillermo.

270
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,920
This is the third
animal shelter I visited.

271
00:12:35,970 --> 00:12:37,660
- We did it?
- Yes, yes, yes.

272
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:40,800
Laszlo, you are free now.

273
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,410
So be free.

274
00:12:46,110 --> 00:12:47,630
- Oh...
- You're welcome.

275
00:12:47,670 --> 00:12:50,160
- Yeah.
- Fucking guy.

276
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,200
Are you guys sure it was him?

277
00:12:56,420 --> 00:12:59,470
Where the fuck am I?

278
00:12:59,510 --> 00:13:02,040
I say!

279
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:03,730
Release me.

280
00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:07,300
So, what just happened
is that Nandor took a bat

281
00:13:07,350 --> 00:13:09,520
that was being treated here,

282
00:13:09,570 --> 00:13:12,830
and he just rereleased it
into the wild.

283
00:13:12,870 --> 00:13:14,700
Uh, a sick, sick bat.

284
00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:16,830
Do you think I might have
rabies now?

285
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:20,400
- Possible.
- Not now, Guillermo.

286
00:13:20,450 --> 00:13:23,060
I just don't know how
it's my responsibility to pay

287
00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:24,906
for both Internet and cable.
When you have a roommate,

288
00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:26,686
you're supposed to kind of
spliteverything down the middle.

289
00:13:26,710 --> 00:13:29,630
- This is a misery for my ears.
- I know, I just...

290
00:13:29,670 --> 00:13:32,680
- Nice outfit, freak.
- Goth sucks.

291
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:34,980
You mustn't kill them, please.

292
00:13:35,030 --> 00:13:38,900
- Oh, no, I wasn't gonna do anything.
- Really? Huh.

293
00:13:38,940 --> 00:13:41,990
Yeah. I... you know,
I see a lotof this as a security guard,

294
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,380
and the best way
to handle this...

295
00:13:45,470 --> 00:13:47,040
- Congratulations.
- We have a winner!

296
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:49,780
- What happened?-He was
playing the game wrong.

297
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,480
I cannot believe how boring
Gregor has become.

298
00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,530
In every other past life,
he was so exhilarating.

299
00:13:56,570 --> 00:13:58,090
Such a maverick.

300
00:13:58,140 --> 00:13:59,880
You know,
when he was a washer woman,

301
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:03,100
he would pour dirty old
mop juice all over my body

302
00:14:03,140 --> 00:14:05,100
and rub it into me
while he ravished me.

303
00:14:05,140 --> 00:14:07,280
When he was a wild horse...

304
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:09,970
I rode him naked all
throughout the countryside.

305
00:14:10,020 --> 00:14:11,930
But this version of Gregor?

306
00:14:11,980 --> 00:14:14,150
It is a boring disgrace.

307
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:18,070
And you know what?
It's becausethey named him Jeps. Jeff.

308
00:14:18,110 --> 00:14:20,250
Wow, you were really good
at ring toss.

309
00:14:20,290 --> 00:14:22,290
- I had so much fun tonight.
- I cannot take this.

310
00:14:22,330 --> 00:14:23,926
I cannot take how boring
you have become.

311
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:26,250
How are you supposed
to be a strong,

312
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,730
thrilling,
powerful warrior and lover

313
00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:30,390
with a name like Jeff?

314
00:14:30,430 --> 00:14:32,170
It is like a weak ejaculation.

315
00:14:32,210 --> 00:14:34,130
Okay.

316
00:14:34,170 --> 00:14:35,610
- Jeff.
- Okay, all right, all right.

317
00:14:35,650 --> 00:14:38,570
You know what?
You're being really rude to me

318
00:14:38,610 --> 00:14:41,750
and my Uncle Jeff,
but also Grandpa Jeff,

319
00:14:41,790 --> 00:14:44,180
- and that's where I draw the line.
- Go back.

320
00:14:44,230 --> 00:14:45,790
Remember.

321
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,840
Remember who you are.

322
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,800
Ah...

323
00:14:54,540 --> 00:14:58,410
I am standing
on the crest of a hill.

324
00:14:58,460 --> 00:15:01,110
Atop the Carpathian Mountains.

325
00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:04,200
I am victorious from battle.

326
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:07,730
But I am punctured...

327
00:15:07,770 --> 00:15:10,170
by many arrow.

328
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:12,210
Yet I survive.

329
00:15:12,250 --> 00:15:15,170
I must survive...

330
00:15:15,210 --> 00:15:17,960
to see my lover.

331
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,570
Nadja.

332
00:15:19,610 --> 00:15:23,050
Love... will get me through.

333
00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:26,750
Desire... will fuel my journey.

334
00:15:26,790 --> 00:15:28,230
Oh, Gregor...

335
00:15:28,270 --> 00:15:30,750
- it is you.
- Hark.

336
00:15:30,790 --> 00:15:33,190
A rider approaches.

337
00:15:33,230 --> 00:15:35,410
He is wielding a sword.

338
00:15:35,450 --> 00:15:37,240
It comes towards me,

339
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:39,110
aiming directly for my hea...

340
00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:41,150
Oh, next life.

341
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:44,940
Be down in a minute, sire.

342
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,850
This mop...

343
00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:51,770
It is as full of water
as I am desire.

344
00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:52,990
I want to, but I mustn't.

345
00:15:53,030 --> 00:15:55,210
- No, you can.
- No, he will hear.

346
00:15:55,250 --> 00:15:57,040
Just one little kiss
with our lips.

347
00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,210
- He will be so angry.-Just
stick our mouths together.

348
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,440
- Oh, no, sir, not my head.
- Next!

349
00:16:15,270 --> 00:16:18,230
Silence, my four-legged friends.

350
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:21,240
I sense you are angry tonight.

351
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,240
And with good reason.

352
00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:25,020
For we have been imprisoned.

353
00:16:25,070 --> 00:16:27,020
Yes, without trial.

354
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:30,680
Now is the time
to hoist our oars

355
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:33,290
and row towards freedom.

356
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:35,030
Agreed?

357
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,080
Thank you.

358
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:39,210
Now, I'm assuming

359
00:16:39,250 --> 00:16:43,430
that there is a cat
in the cage to my right.

360
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,480
Excellent.

361
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:49,180
You will succumb
to my dark power,

362
00:16:49,220 --> 00:16:51,830
and you will undo your latch

363
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:54,270
and free me.

364
00:16:54,310 --> 00:16:57,140
Loosen your latch and free me.

365
00:16:57,190 --> 00:16:58,880
- All right...
- Succumb... Shit.

366
00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:01,190
- Bat.
- Here you go.

367
00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:04,110
Over here.
You know your spot.

368
00:17:04,150 --> 00:17:05,890
There you go.

369
00:17:05,930 --> 00:17:08,240
Home, sweet home.

370
00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:10,070
Be good.

371
00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:12,110
All right. Night, fellas.

372
00:17:14,590 --> 00:17:16,200
Woof, woof.

373
00:17:16,250 --> 00:17:19,080
- Nandor? Is that you?
- Yes.

374
00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:22,120
I turned myself into a dog
to come and rescue you.

375
00:17:22,170 --> 00:17:25,080
Hang on a second...
You turned yourself into a dog

376
00:17:25,130 --> 00:17:28,170
- in a place that imprisons
dogs?-I just thought I'd be

377
00:17:28,220 --> 00:17:29,456
a bit creative
and come and rescue you.

378
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,360
You don't want me to rescue
you, I can go again.

379
00:17:31,390 --> 00:17:33,130
And tell me how you do that.

380
00:17:33,180 --> 00:17:34,376
You're locked in a fucking cage.

381
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:35,960
Oh...

382
00:17:36,010 --> 00:17:38,360
What's Nadja gonna say?
Where is she?

383
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,140
Uh...

384
00:17:41,580 --> 00:17:44,150
No! Stop!

385
00:17:44,190 --> 00:17:47,370
- Stop!
- My Gregor, yes!

386
00:17:47,410 --> 00:17:49,500
Come on!

387
00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:54,200
Hey, not-a-cop.

388
00:17:58,290 --> 00:18:01,120
Whoa, whoa. Holy shit.

389
00:18:08,390 --> 00:18:10,080
♪

390
00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:24,856
- Yes.
- We have defeated time itself.

391
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,270
We have been drawn together.

392
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:28,360
Let's make love right now.

393
00:18:28,410 --> 00:18:30,410
- Right here?
- Yeah, here.

394
00:18:30,450 --> 00:18:33,150
Right here on the dirty ground
in this filthy parking lot.

395
00:18:33,190 --> 00:18:35,200
Oh, I was hoping
you would say that.

396
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,290
- Yeah.
- Oh...

397
00:18:37,330 --> 00:18:39,770
Oh, God. You want to get that?
Do you need to get that?

398
00:18:39,810 --> 00:18:41,330
Hello?

399
00:18:41,380 --> 00:18:43,250
Hello, Guillermo.

400
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:45,420
Yeah, I see.

401
00:18:45,470 --> 00:18:47,300
He did what?

402
00:18:47,340 --> 00:18:49,820
I'm... Okay, yeah. Yeah.

403
00:18:49,860 --> 00:18:51,600
Yeah, yeah, okay. Bye-bye.

404
00:18:51,650 --> 00:18:53,390
Bye. Okay. Yeah.

405
00:18:53,430 --> 00:18:54,950
Sorry, I have to leave.

406
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,430
- Stay with me.
- I know.

407
00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:58,440
Let's make animalistic,
freaky sex right now.

408
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,790
No, but somebody else needs me

409
00:19:00,830 --> 00:19:04,440
in a much less erotic way, but,
you know, it is what it is.

410
00:19:04,490 --> 00:19:06,880
But I've died for you, Nadja.
I've seen it.

411
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:08,970
These visions are enough
to drive a man to madness.

412
00:19:09,010 --> 00:19:11,010
Oh, it was only one time
you died for me.

413
00:19:11,060 --> 00:19:12,336
The other times
were just accidents.

414
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,020
A few hours ago,
my life was normal,

415
00:19:14,060 --> 00:19:16,060
and now everything
I thought I knew was real

416
00:19:16,110 --> 00:19:17,630
has turned out to be
an illusion.

417
00:19:17,670 --> 00:19:19,410
I'm married with a husband.
Farewell.

418
00:19:19,460 --> 00:19:22,290
No, no, Nadja. Nadja. Nadja!

419
00:19:25,460 --> 00:19:27,420
Oh, my God!

420
00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:30,030
Nadja?!

421
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:32,470
And, like, I've also
noticed that some dogs

422
00:19:32,510 --> 00:19:33,886
are really, really big,
and other dogs

423
00:19:33,910 --> 00:19:35,340
are really small...

424
00:19:35,390 --> 00:19:36,340
Oh, thank God.

425
00:19:36,390 --> 00:19:39,300
Sorry. Thank goodness.

426
00:19:39,350 --> 00:19:41,220
- Laszlo and Nandor
are in cages inside.

427
00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:43,700
Please come in, ma'am.

428
00:19:43,740 --> 00:19:46,310
Thank you.

429
00:19:46,350 --> 00:19:48,010
What is the code for your door?

430
00:19:48,050 --> 00:19:50,050
1-2-3-4-5.

431
00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:53,010
- That's the code for the door?
- Uh-huh.

432
00:19:53,060 --> 00:19:55,710
Humans, I can't...

433
00:19:57,060 --> 00:19:58,670
Yay, it's Nadja.

434
00:19:58,710 --> 00:20:00,500
Hello, my darling.
What are you doing here?

435
00:20:00,540 --> 00:20:03,150
- I've come to help you out of the cage.
- Absolutely no need.

436
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,110
Mr. Cat next door...

437
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,900
I was in the process
of hypnotizing him.

438
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,460
I was moments away
from escaping.

439
00:20:09,510 --> 00:20:11,250
I don't know why
you bothered coming.

440
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:14,300
Sh-Shit.

441
00:20:14,340 --> 00:20:15,700
I've got to free
my fellow inmates.

442
00:20:15,730 --> 00:20:17,250
I made a gentleman's promise.

443
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:18,730
Well, the suspect stated

444
00:20:18,780 --> 00:20:21,690
that he is an ancient warrior
who's been reborn anew,

445
00:20:21,740 --> 00:20:23,740
- et cetera, et cetera.
- That's all the truth!

446
00:20:23,780 --> 00:20:26,260
You can ask my ex...
We were together ages ago.

447
00:20:26,310 --> 00:20:28,310
She turned into a pile of rats.

448
00:20:28,350 --> 00:20:30,310
Okay, buddy. I'll just ask
the pile of rats.

449
00:20:30,350 --> 00:20:32,180
I am Gregor!

450
00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:34,710
Victor of many battles.

451
00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:37,410
I am cleaning lady!

452
00:20:40,020 --> 00:20:42,890
Run and be free, my comrade.

453
00:20:42,930 --> 00:20:44,410
What the fuck?

454
00:20:49,330 --> 00:20:51,200
Still no thank-you?

455
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,770
Release your claws,
you ungrateful bastards.

456
00:20:53,810 --> 00:20:57,820
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH

457
00:21:54,530 --> 00:21:57,010
What We Do in the Shadows.

458
00:21:57,050 --> 00:21:59,360
- All new Wednesdays
at 10:00 on FX.

459
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:02,790
Five, six, seven, eight.

460
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,410
- He's a wonderful teacher.
- Boom-chicka-boom.

461
00:22:05,450 --> 00:22:07,230
Well, you have
taught him plenty.

462
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:09,450
When do I find out
if I got the part or not?

463
00:22:09,500 --> 00:22:11,410
You got the part
when you walked in the door.

464
00:22:11,460 --> 00:22:12,760
Fosse/Verdon.

465
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,550
All new, Tuesday at 10:00,
only on FX.

466
00:22:17,590 --> 00:22:21,250
Okay, Tracy Cromwell.
What's your address and date of birth?

467
00:22:21,290 --> 00:22:24,640
Mom. No one ever asks for it.

468
00:22:24,690 --> 00:22:25,860
I just...

469
00:22:29,820 --> 00:22:31,480
Slut bucket.

470
00:22:32,690 --> 00:22:34,170
Better Things.

471
00:22:34,220 --> 00:22:36,090
All new
Thursdays at 10:00 on FX.