1 00:00:08,350 --> 00:00:10,187 Here we are, the nerve center. 2 00:00:10,254 --> 00:00:11,690 Colin Robinson for 3 00:00:11,757 --> 00:00:14,897 Staten Island Comptroller headquarters. 4 00:00:14,963 --> 00:00:17,769 Sean had to bow out of the race. 5 00:00:17,836 --> 00:00:20,207 Apparently, in Staten Island, 6 00:00:20,274 --> 00:00:22,913 there's a rule that a candidate can't have more than 7 00:00:22,979 --> 00:00:24,282 nine DUIs. 8 00:00:24,348 --> 00:00:26,654 Most Staten Island office holders 9 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:28,156 only have two or three. 10 00:00:28,223 --> 00:00:29,593 Oh, hi, Barbara. 11 00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:30,828 [Colin] He needed someone 12 00:00:30,895 --> 00:00:32,799 to take his place, and my record 13 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,404 is absolutely, completely clean. 14 00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:39,312 Yo. Robby Robinson, get over here. 15 00:00:39,378 --> 00:00:40,949 You're on the tube. Quick. 16 00:00:41,015 --> 00:00:42,552 [Barbara] With all due respect, my new opponent 17 00:00:42,619 --> 00:00:44,590 seems like a nice man, but he has 18 00:00:44,656 --> 00:00:47,596 no government experience. He was working as a server... 19 00:00:47,662 --> 00:00:50,702 I can't wait to flex my blue collar bona fides 20 00:00:50,768 --> 00:00:51,804 on the debate stage. 21 00:00:51,870 --> 00:00:54,643 [laughs] Up top. 22 00:00:54,710 --> 00:00:56,580 There it is. 23 00:00:56,647 --> 00:00:58,718 ["You're Dead" by Norma Tanega playing] 24 00:00:58,784 --> 00:01:01,322 ♪♪ Don't sing if you want to live long ♪♪ 25 00:01:01,389 --> 00:01:03,728 ♪♪ They have no use for your song ♪♪ 26 00:01:03,794 --> 00:01:07,535 ♪♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead ♪♪ 27 00:01:07,602 --> 00:01:10,775 ♪♪ You're dead and out of this world ♪♪ 28 00:01:10,842 --> 00:01:13,848 ♪♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone ♪♪ 29 00:01:13,915 --> 00:01:16,654 ♪♪ You sold out your dream to the world ♪♪ 30 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:18,925 ♪♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead ♪♪ 31 00:01:18,991 --> 00:01:21,429 ♪♪ You're dead and out of this world. ♪♪ 32 00:01:21,496 --> 00:01:23,801 ♪♪ ♪♪ 33 00:01:31,349 --> 00:01:34,021 [Nandor] I have been spending more time 34 00:01:34,088 --> 00:01:35,591 at this new gym lately. 35 00:01:35,658 --> 00:01:37,294 I have asked Guillermo to join me, 36 00:01:37,361 --> 00:01:39,733 but he always seems to have something else 37 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,402 going on these days. 38 00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:42,906 Guillermo! Guillermo, 39 00:01:42,973 --> 00:01:45,010 -where are you? -Shit! 40 00:01:45,077 --> 00:01:47,081 -[Guillermo] I've been avoiding Nandor. -Oh. 41 00:01:47,147 --> 00:01:48,350 [Guillermo] It's been hard, 42 00:01:48,416 --> 00:01:50,120 physically and emotionally. 43 00:01:50,187 --> 00:01:51,389 -Guillermo? -[Guillermo] I just don't 44 00:01:51,456 --> 00:01:52,826 want him to get suspicious that 45 00:01:52,892 --> 00:01:54,395 -I'm a vampire now. Or half -[exclaims] 46 00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:56,533 a vampire. Or whatever I am. 47 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:57,969 -[sighs] -[Nandor] Guillermo? 48 00:01:58,036 --> 00:01:59,973 [Nandor] And so I have decided 49 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:02,979 to hunt for a new companion. 50 00:02:03,046 --> 00:02:05,183 Need a spot? 51 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,021 Uh, sure, why not? 52 00:02:07,087 --> 00:02:08,758 Great. 53 00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:11,597 Looks like it's just me and you in here tonight, huh, buddy? 54 00:02:11,664 --> 00:02:13,199 Um, yeah. 55 00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:16,372 Uh, it's usually pretty empty on Easter Sunday. 56 00:02:16,439 --> 00:02:20,113 I guess all the gentiles are out hunting for eggs. 57 00:02:20,180 --> 00:02:23,019 You are Jewish? 58 00:02:23,086 --> 00:02:24,488 Yep. 59 00:02:24,556 --> 00:02:26,593 Very cool. 60 00:02:26,660 --> 00:02:27,796 Mm-hmm. 61 00:02:29,265 --> 00:02:31,870 Alexander. 62 00:02:31,937 --> 00:02:33,106 Nandor. 63 00:02:33,173 --> 00:02:35,712 Thanks for the spot, pal. 64 00:02:35,778 --> 00:02:38,283 It was my pleasure. 65 00:02:38,350 --> 00:02:41,924 So, what meshuggaas-- 66 00:02:41,990 --> 00:02:43,393 that means stuff-- 67 00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:45,397 is everyone doing tonight? 68 00:02:45,464 --> 00:02:46,967 If you're only asking us what we're doing 69 00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:49,305 so you can tell us what you're doing, we don't care. 70 00:02:49,372 --> 00:02:52,277 Relax, I'm just kibitzing. Besides, 71 00:02:52,344 --> 00:02:54,983 I have acquired a new friend. 72 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:57,655 -[Laszlo] Oh. -[Nandor] And now we are going to the movies 73 00:02:57,722 --> 00:02:59,025 together. 74 00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:01,062 We are mishpocha. 75 00:03:01,129 --> 00:03:02,431 Oh, yes. 76 00:03:02,498 --> 00:03:04,970 My new friend-- he's the total package. 77 00:03:05,037 --> 00:03:07,842 Has a great sense of humor, loves to work out 78 00:03:07,909 --> 00:03:10,013 and he's Jewish. 79 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,217 What difference does it make if he's Jewish? 80 00:03:12,284 --> 00:03:14,221 It doesn't, but back in Al Qolnidar, 81 00:03:14,288 --> 00:03:16,693 I always heard stories about the Jews. 82 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,699 Exceptionally proud people, fierce warriors, 83 00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:21,603 but I never actually got to meet one. 84 00:03:21,670 --> 00:03:24,475 I had no idea there were Jews in New York City. 85 00:03:24,543 --> 00:03:28,450 And now I am proud to call one my friend. 86 00:03:28,517 --> 00:03:30,387 Oh. That's great. What-What's his name? 87 00:03:30,454 --> 00:03:31,790 Well, look who suddenly reappeared 88 00:03:31,857 --> 00:03:33,928 now that I'm kvelling about my new friend. 89 00:03:33,994 --> 00:03:36,132 -I've been here the whole time. -[Nandor] Well, if you must know, 90 00:03:36,199 --> 00:03:37,902 his name is Alexander. 91 00:03:37,969 --> 00:03:39,706 Alexander the Jew. 92 00:03:39,773 --> 00:03:41,375 Nope. I don't think that's his name. 93 00:03:41,442 --> 00:03:42,946 [Nandor] Quit your kvetching. 94 00:03:43,012 --> 00:03:44,616 [Colin] I really 95 00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:47,121 couldn't care less about being comptroller. 96 00:03:47,187 --> 00:03:50,227 Hello! I am Colin Robinson. 97 00:03:50,293 --> 00:03:52,264 I am running for comptroller. 98 00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:53,968 -Can she vote? -Uh, no. 99 00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:55,337 -Okay, then don't. -Ooh. 100 00:03:55,404 --> 00:03:56,507 I'd rather it lay on the ground 101 00:03:56,573 --> 00:03:57,542 than go into her hands. 102 00:03:57,609 --> 00:03:58,744 I'm only doing it 103 00:03:58,811 --> 00:04:00,715 because the debate stage 104 00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,819 is a great place for a mega drain. 105 00:04:02,886 --> 00:04:05,792 You know, it's really no surprise the amount 106 00:04:05,858 --> 00:04:08,731 -Uh, we're good. -of energy vampires in politics. 107 00:04:08,798 --> 00:04:10,333 -[Sean] Colin, stop it. -What are you running for? 108 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:11,537 -Touch this. -[Sean] What are you doing? 109 00:04:11,603 --> 00:04:12,772 -Touch it. -[Sean] Stop doing that. 110 00:04:12,839 --> 00:04:14,843 [Colin] But the perfect campaign 111 00:04:14,910 --> 00:04:16,145 needs the perfect wife. 112 00:04:16,212 --> 00:04:19,619 I have an old flame that comes here. 113 00:04:19,686 --> 00:04:22,859 Once we accept that they are never coming back 114 00:04:22,926 --> 00:04:25,197 to sweep us off our feet with an unexpected... 115 00:04:25,263 --> 00:04:27,502 [Colin clears throat] 116 00:04:27,569 --> 00:04:29,973 E-Evie Russell? 117 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,077 Colin Robinson. 118 00:04:32,144 --> 00:04:33,914 W-What are you doing here? 119 00:04:33,981 --> 00:04:36,319 Evie, please. I-I need you. 120 00:04:36,385 --> 00:04:38,490 I didn't think I'd ever see you again 121 00:04:38,557 --> 00:04:41,262 after you fled the scene of the accident 122 00:04:41,329 --> 00:04:43,634 that left me partially blind. 123 00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:46,472 -[group gasps] -And completely unable to move my legs. 124 00:04:46,540 --> 00:04:47,609 -[group murmurs] -[man] Oh, Evie. 125 00:04:47,675 --> 00:04:49,345 [Colin] Evie Russell 126 00:04:49,411 --> 00:04:51,717 is an emotional vampire. 127 00:04:51,783 --> 00:04:54,221 The doctor said, "She'd be better off dead." 128 00:04:54,288 --> 00:04:58,029 [Colin] She drains people by feeding on their emotions. 129 00:04:58,096 --> 00:05:01,269 And then he hung himself while he was masturbating. 130 00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:03,039 -[woman] Oh. -[Colin] When we dated, 131 00:05:03,106 --> 00:05:06,513 she destroyed me and fed off of the remnants 132 00:05:06,580 --> 00:05:09,218 of what used to be my heart. 133 00:05:09,285 --> 00:05:11,422 She's the best. 134 00:05:11,489 --> 00:05:13,828 Oh, I've never stopped thinking about you. 135 00:05:13,894 --> 00:05:16,098 I mean, even after all these years. 136 00:05:16,165 --> 00:05:19,238 To me, you are perfect. 137 00:05:19,305 --> 00:05:21,042 Love Actually, 2003. 138 00:05:21,108 --> 00:05:23,346 I wish I knew how to quit you. 139 00:05:23,413 --> 00:05:25,785 Brokeback Mountain, 2005. 140 00:05:25,852 --> 00:05:29,091 -I got you this necklace. -[people gasp] 141 00:05:29,158 --> 00:05:31,597 Titanic, 1997. 142 00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:35,605 -It looks beautiful on you. -[Evie] Thank you. 143 00:05:46,927 --> 00:05:48,597 [speaking Greek] 144 00:05:48,664 --> 00:05:50,535 [Nadja] Ever since I stumbled on 145 00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:52,104 the neighborhood of Little Antipaxos, 146 00:05:52,170 --> 00:05:55,310 I have been spending my nights with a delightful family. 147 00:05:55,377 --> 00:05:56,613 No, I-I have eaten... 148 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,249 Being with them makes me feel 149 00:05:58,316 --> 00:05:59,819 almost human. 150 00:05:59,886 --> 00:06:02,424 I've been helping my new family by actually working. 151 00:06:02,491 --> 00:06:04,261 And maybe these simple acts 152 00:06:04,328 --> 00:06:07,100 of kindness, compassion, and friendship 153 00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:08,604 might help lift this 154 00:06:08,671 --> 00:06:11,910 pissing Antipaxon curse that I have all over me. 155 00:06:11,977 --> 00:06:14,181 But... [sighs] they keep asking 156 00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:15,283 to meet Laszlo. 157 00:06:15,350 --> 00:06:17,254 Laszlo is not from Antipaxos, 158 00:06:17,321 --> 00:06:21,062 and Antipaxons are very, very suspicious 159 00:06:21,128 --> 00:06:22,097 of outsiders. 160 00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:23,801 [men shouting] 161 00:06:23,867 --> 00:06:26,372 He's coming tonight. [sighs] 162 00:06:26,439 --> 00:06:28,409 [Laszlo] Now you see, what you must understand is 163 00:06:28,476 --> 00:06:30,080 courting a partner's 164 00:06:30,146 --> 00:06:32,952 family is just as important as courting the lover. 165 00:06:33,019 --> 00:06:36,292 So, I have done deep research into 166 00:06:36,359 --> 00:06:38,496 these simple island folk. 167 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:43,106 I learned their customs, their dress. 168 00:06:43,172 --> 00:06:44,375 What the fuck are you wearing? 169 00:06:44,441 --> 00:06:45,477 I'm dressed as an islander. 170 00:06:45,544 --> 00:06:46,713 These people are peasants. 171 00:06:46,780 --> 00:06:48,249 It's important I fit in, my darling. 172 00:06:48,316 --> 00:06:49,786 Their way of speaking. 173 00:06:49,853 --> 00:06:51,188 Me, Laszlo. 174 00:06:51,255 --> 00:06:52,491 Do you people have names 175 00:06:52,558 --> 00:06:54,562 or do you communicate with sticks? 176 00:06:54,629 --> 00:06:56,600 I had become one of them. 177 00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:57,735 I think this is going well. 178 00:06:57,802 --> 00:06:59,104 This is the matriarch of this 179 00:06:59,171 --> 00:07:00,608 very important family to me, 180 00:07:00,675 --> 00:07:01,977 -okay? Yes? -Yeah, yeah. 181 00:07:02,044 --> 00:07:03,647 -Yia-Yia. -Yia-Yia. 182 00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:05,417 Lovely to meet you, I'm sure. 183 00:07:05,483 --> 00:07:06,720 [Nadja speaking Greek] 184 00:07:06,787 --> 00:07:08,389 He was dropped on his head as a baby. 185 00:07:08,456 --> 00:07:10,795 [speaking Greek] 186 00:07:14,970 --> 00:07:17,074 Any big plans for the summertime? 187 00:07:17,140 --> 00:07:18,577 Not really. 188 00:07:18,644 --> 00:07:21,683 So, I met Nandor at the gym. I was doing 189 00:07:21,750 --> 00:07:24,054 my reps, and he, uh, I don't know, 190 00:07:24,121 --> 00:07:27,361 he-he seemed harmless and 191 00:07:27,427 --> 00:07:30,200 kind of lonely, and, uh... 192 00:07:30,266 --> 00:07:32,471 then he asked me here, and... 193 00:07:32,538 --> 00:07:35,678 I don't know, I'm here. Uh, I don't know. 194 00:07:35,745 --> 00:07:37,815 -It just happened. -[Nandor exclaims] 195 00:07:37,882 --> 00:07:39,886 [siren wailing on screen] 196 00:07:39,953 --> 00:07:43,292 -You are enjoying the movie? -[woman] Shh! 197 00:07:43,359 --> 00:07:44,729 [chuckles] 198 00:07:44,796 --> 00:07:47,367 I remember the first time I went to one. 199 00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:49,471 There was a locomotion film playing. 200 00:07:49,539 --> 00:07:50,875 And we all thought, 201 00:07:50,941 --> 00:07:52,144 "This train's gonna kill us!" And, of course-- 202 00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:54,214 -[man] Shut up! -Shh. 203 00:07:54,281 --> 00:07:57,287 Yes. Yes, you're right. 204 00:07:57,354 --> 00:07:59,526 Zero is the amount of paperwork you'd have to file 205 00:07:59,592 --> 00:08:02,565 -after I replace -Excuse me. 206 00:08:02,632 --> 00:08:06,339 our entire outdated system... 207 00:08:06,405 --> 00:08:08,242 [clears throat] 208 00:08:08,309 --> 00:08:10,080 Mr. Robinson, are you all right? 209 00:08:10,146 --> 00:08:12,552 Yeah. No, no. It's not my turn. You go. 210 00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:15,256 With a seamless, user-friendly, 211 00:08:15,323 --> 00:08:16,793 digital platform. 212 00:08:16,860 --> 00:08:19,465 Eliminate bureaucracy. 213 00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:22,037 Say goodbye to paperwork. 214 00:08:22,104 --> 00:08:25,176 -And hello to anarchy. -[applause] 215 00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:26,713 You're-you're clapping for an anarchist. 216 00:08:26,780 --> 00:08:28,851 [Barbara] Thank you. Thank you very much. 217 00:08:28,917 --> 00:08:31,957 -[loud, distorted] Four weeks ago, when I started this... -[crowd exclaiming] 218 00:08:32,759 --> 00:08:35,363 Check, check. Microphone, microphone. 219 00:08:35,430 --> 00:08:37,067 With the debate stage, 220 00:08:37,134 --> 00:08:40,541 what you have is a captive audience. 221 00:08:40,608 --> 00:08:43,379 -Do you know how this... -[microphone feedback] 222 00:08:43,446 --> 00:08:46,820 It's like a smorgasbord. 223 00:08:46,887 --> 00:08:50,661 [inhales] Four weeks ago, 224 00:08:50,728 --> 00:08:53,132 I was sitting down 225 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,671 for breakfast with my 226 00:08:55,738 --> 00:08:57,074 beautiful wife, Evie. 227 00:08:57,140 --> 00:09:00,113 Evie and I were sitting down with our two 228 00:09:00,180 --> 00:09:02,752 beautiful little boys, 229 00:09:02,819 --> 00:09:05,490 Connor and C-C-- Cah-- ristopher, 230 00:09:05,558 --> 00:09:07,862 and Christopher 231 00:09:07,929 --> 00:09:09,465 looks up to me-- he's 232 00:09:09,532 --> 00:09:13,206 six years old and full of the dickens-- 233 00:09:13,272 --> 00:09:15,009 [speaking accelerates] 234 00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:18,584 And I said, "Well, it's because of the taxes, 235 00:09:18,650 --> 00:09:19,853 Conno-- Christopher." 236 00:09:19,919 --> 00:09:21,523 [speaking accelerates] 237 00:09:21,590 --> 00:09:25,564 And I'll be damned if there's anyone in this hall right now... 238 00:09:26,432 --> 00:09:28,269 [speaking accelerates] 239 00:09:28,336 --> 00:09:30,541 ...smells often of beef stew, 240 00:09:30,608 --> 00:09:32,612 as all young children do. 241 00:09:32,678 --> 00:09:35,584 [speaking accelerates] 242 00:09:35,651 --> 00:09:38,791 Your allowance is being cut 243 00:09:38,857 --> 00:09:40,861 because mommy lost her job. 244 00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:43,266 Mommy lost her job to 245 00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:46,405 an M'er-F'ing machine. 246 00:09:46,472 --> 00:09:48,042 A machine that 247 00:09:48,109 --> 00:09:49,712 ran over my foot 248 00:09:49,779 --> 00:09:51,616 on a factory floor. 249 00:09:51,683 --> 00:09:53,386 -[man] Unbelievable. -[Evie] And is a-a 250 00:09:53,453 --> 00:09:56,593 machine gonna tuck my two sons-- 251 00:09:56,660 --> 00:09:59,866 who are full of the dickens-- into bed? 252 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,772 You think that machine can give my boys 253 00:10:02,839 --> 00:10:04,274 their goodnight kissies? 254 00:10:04,341 --> 00:10:07,080 How's that gonna work? Bleep, bloop, bloop, mwah. 255 00:10:07,147 --> 00:10:10,420 I sure would like to meet that machine 256 00:10:10,487 --> 00:10:13,392 and tell it to pay for my medical bills. [gasps] 257 00:10:13,459 --> 00:10:15,230 [crowd gasps] 258 00:10:16,165 --> 00:10:18,302 [Colin] That machine ruined our gosh darn 259 00:10:18,369 --> 00:10:21,175 C-Chrosstopher's life. 260 00:10:23,079 --> 00:10:26,185 No, really, you were so good. 261 00:10:26,252 --> 00:10:28,524 I-I doubt I'll get a single vote. [laughing] 262 00:10:28,590 --> 00:10:30,393 Oh. Very nice. 263 00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:32,698 So, what do you want to do now? 264 00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:34,536 Oh, I don't know. We could catch up. 265 00:10:34,602 --> 00:10:36,005 I really have thought about you 266 00:10:36,071 --> 00:10:38,877 quite a bit these last few years. 267 00:10:38,944 --> 00:10:40,881 -I guess our Uber is here. -Yeah. 268 00:10:40,948 --> 00:10:42,484 -Oh. -[Colin] Not our Uber. 269 00:10:42,552 --> 00:10:43,687 -[Evie] Oh! Ow. -[grunts] 270 00:10:43,754 --> 00:10:45,089 [Colin] What the hell?! 271 00:10:54,542 --> 00:10:57,480 [Colin] European Middle Ages, in which monks wore hoods or cowls... 272 00:10:57,548 --> 00:10:59,384 [Evie] This is triggering because I was blind as a child, 273 00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:00,486 and I'm having flashbacks. 274 00:11:00,554 --> 00:11:02,825 [man] Enough! Be quiet! 275 00:11:02,892 --> 00:11:04,896 You guys can join us, 276 00:11:04,963 --> 00:11:07,100 but if you're hoping to get any interesting footage, 277 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,371 you came to exactly the wrong place. 278 00:11:12,377 --> 00:11:13,747 [lever clangs] 279 00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:16,218 [Evie] Ow. 280 00:11:16,285 --> 00:11:18,590 [Colin] Where-where are we? 281 00:11:18,657 --> 00:11:19,792 Wait, a-are you... 282 00:11:19,859 --> 00:11:22,063 Okay. Uh, so, 283 00:11:22,130 --> 00:11:24,201 calling to order this emergency meeting 284 00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:27,575 of the Supreme Council of Energy Vampires. 285 00:11:27,642 --> 00:11:29,111 [Evie] It's real? 286 00:11:29,177 --> 00:11:30,648 I'd always heard rumors, but... 287 00:11:30,714 --> 00:11:32,952 A-Are we in trouble? 288 00:11:33,019 --> 00:11:34,856 Well, uh, what we have here 289 00:11:34,923 --> 00:11:37,662 -is a situation in... -[phone chimes] 290 00:11:37,728 --> 00:11:39,331 Sorry, let me turn that off. 291 00:11:39,398 --> 00:11:42,805 So annoying, right? Like, "Okay, Boomer." 292 00:11:42,872 --> 00:11:45,878 As I-I was saying, uh, what we do have here 293 00:11:45,945 --> 00:11:48,282 -is a situation in which we... -[phone chimes] 294 00:11:48,349 --> 00:11:50,320 -Hey. -[Gregg] Uh, what you're gonna want to do 295 00:11:50,386 --> 00:11:53,259 is go to your home screen 296 00:11:53,326 --> 00:11:55,330 and look for "Settings." 297 00:11:55,396 --> 00:11:56,800 -I'm not... I'm not seeing that. -[Gregg] And you open that up, 298 00:11:56,866 --> 00:11:58,369 and you're looking for "Alerts." 299 00:11:58,436 --> 00:12:00,541 -It should be listed alphabetical, -[Jo] I... 300 00:12:00,608 --> 00:12:02,477 -so "Alerts" would be at the top of that. -[Jo] I am not seeing that. 301 00:12:02,545 --> 00:12:04,181 [Gregg] It could also be under "Sounds and Haptics." 302 00:12:04,248 --> 00:12:05,851 I don't know what operating system you're running. 303 00:12:05,918 --> 00:12:08,857 Sorry I'm late. What'd I miss? 304 00:12:08,924 --> 00:12:10,226 You're not late. You were actually sitting there 305 00:12:10,293 --> 00:12:11,095 the whole time. 306 00:12:11,161 --> 00:12:12,865 Yeah, but I-I wasn't listening, 307 00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:15,069 so could somebody bring me up to speed, please? 308 00:12:15,136 --> 00:12:16,438 [Jo] They were asking if 309 00:12:16,506 --> 00:12:18,777 they're in trouble, and I was saying that 310 00:12:18,844 --> 00:12:20,514 what we have here is a situation in which... 311 00:12:20,581 --> 00:12:22,885 -[phone chimes] -Shucks. -[Gregg] Home screen. 312 00:12:22,952 --> 00:12:25,624 -[Jo] Okay. Mm. -"Settings." 313 00:12:25,691 --> 00:12:26,927 Alert settings, 314 00:12:26,993 --> 00:12:28,429 and then what you're gonna need to do 315 00:12:28,496 --> 00:12:31,770 -is find the, uh... -My God, they are fantastic. 316 00:12:31,836 --> 00:12:33,239 Oh, yeah. This is awful. 317 00:12:33,306 --> 00:12:34,474 [low volume] Maybe we should move on 318 00:12:34,542 --> 00:12:35,844 to the business at hand? 319 00:12:35,911 --> 00:12:37,748 -We can't hear you. -[Jo] Just speak up. 320 00:12:37,815 --> 00:12:40,420 [low volume] Oh, sorry. One moment. 321 00:12:40,486 --> 00:12:42,090 [Jo] Just speak up. 322 00:12:42,157 --> 00:12:44,194 Shake it. 323 00:12:44,261 --> 00:12:45,898 [low volume] Okay. How about now? 324 00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:47,133 -No, no. Shake it. -Mm-mmm. 325 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,837 [Jo] Y-You're gonna need to speak up. 326 00:12:48,904 --> 00:12:50,574 [low volume] Maybe it's the Wi-Fi connection. 327 00:12:50,641 --> 00:12:52,077 I'm literally shouting. 328 00:12:52,143 --> 00:12:53,714 That would literally have nothing to do with it. 329 00:12:53,780 --> 00:12:55,383 [Colin] Uh, why don't you check 330 00:12:55,450 --> 00:12:57,822 the XLR cable connection. 331 00:12:57,888 --> 00:12:59,926 [low volume] Colin Robinson, Evie Russell, 332 00:12:59,993 --> 00:13:01,529 you have been summoned here... 333 00:13:01,596 --> 00:13:03,600 Does somebody want to interrupt her and let her know 334 00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:06,138 that, at this point, she is completely inaudible? 335 00:13:06,205 --> 00:13:08,810 Yeah, no problem. You're not-you're not audible 336 00:13:08,877 --> 00:13:10,413 due to the low volume 337 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:12,652 -of your microphone. -[low volume] I'm shouting. 338 00:13:12,718 --> 00:13:13,920 [phone chimes] 339 00:13:13,987 --> 00:13:15,924 I am blowing up today. 340 00:13:15,991 --> 00:13:18,930 Listen, uh, if we don't survive this, 341 00:13:18,997 --> 00:13:20,366 I-I just want you to know that 342 00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:21,803 -I've always loved... -[Aparna] Colin Robinson, 343 00:13:21,870 --> 00:13:24,575 no side conversations, please. 344 00:13:24,642 --> 00:13:26,345 -[volume fades] -[Hannibal] I am at a loss. 345 00:13:26,412 --> 00:13:27,748 -Do we have an agenda? -[phone chimes] 346 00:13:27,815 --> 00:13:29,051 [Gregg] System settings. 347 00:13:29,117 --> 00:13:30,320 [Jo] I have something called Settings? 348 00:13:30,386 --> 00:13:32,057 [Nandor] My good friend Alexander 349 00:13:32,123 --> 00:13:34,194 has yet to call me back on the telephone. 350 00:13:34,261 --> 00:13:36,265 -[whispering indistinctly] -Who is that? Is that Alexander? 351 00:13:36,332 --> 00:13:38,202 No. Why would I be talking to Alexander? 352 00:13:38,269 --> 00:13:41,342 I gave Alexander your number because I do not have a phone. 353 00:13:41,408 --> 00:13:45,216 Does this fill me with a crippling sense of self-doubt? 354 00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:46,953 Sometimes. 355 00:13:47,020 --> 00:13:48,590 It's not fair! 356 00:13:48,657 --> 00:13:50,627 Perhaps we are just too different to be friends. 357 00:13:50,694 --> 00:13:52,631 But I can fix. 358 00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:56,138 Master, you know I would do anything for you, but 359 00:13:56,205 --> 00:13:58,109 I'm not gonna circumcise you. 360 00:13:58,175 --> 00:13:59,612 Here's me in the corner. 361 00:13:59,679 --> 00:14:02,852 Here's me in the spotlight at my circumcision. 362 00:14:02,918 --> 00:14:03,954 Master, you just can't get circumcised 363 00:14:04,021 --> 00:14:05,123 for a friend you met at the gym. 364 00:14:05,189 --> 00:14:06,626 Guillermo, there's no other way. 365 00:14:06,693 --> 00:14:07,862 How can two men be friends 366 00:14:07,928 --> 00:14:09,064 when they are so different? 367 00:14:09,131 --> 00:14:10,066 You and I are different. 368 00:14:10,133 --> 00:14:12,303 You are. I am not. 369 00:14:12,370 --> 00:14:14,509 It's time for you 370 00:14:14,575 --> 00:14:17,480 to snip my tip. 371 00:14:17,548 --> 00:14:20,219 Enjoy. [chuckles] 372 00:14:21,923 --> 00:14:24,027 -[laughs] -Hello, my sexy, Greek, 373 00:14:24,094 --> 00:14:25,430 extended family. 374 00:14:25,496 --> 00:14:26,666 Ah, Laszlo. 375 00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:28,804 Gather round. I have something I want to say. 376 00:14:28,870 --> 00:14:30,874 [Nadja] Oh, Laszlo, Yia-Yia. 377 00:14:30,941 --> 00:14:32,511 [Laszlo] The memory of a song, 378 00:14:32,578 --> 00:14:33,780 when executed properly, 379 00:14:33,847 --> 00:14:35,617 can be a powerful gift. 380 00:14:35,684 --> 00:14:37,722 [speaks Greek] 381 00:14:37,788 --> 00:14:40,561 [singing in Greek] 382 00:14:43,399 --> 00:14:44,468 [shouts in Greek] 383 00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:46,238 [Nadja] Had my sweet love, Laszlo, 384 00:14:46,305 --> 00:14:47,708 consulted me before just 385 00:14:47,775 --> 00:14:49,612 putting on a big concert in front of my new family, 386 00:14:49,679 --> 00:14:52,518 I would have probably said maybe don't sing the battle hymn 387 00:14:52,585 --> 00:14:55,323 of our neighboring island, Nisida Mongonisi, 388 00:14:55,389 --> 00:14:58,129 because that place is the home of our mortal enemies, 389 00:14:58,195 --> 00:14:59,866 the Nisida Mongonisans. 390 00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:01,068 [spits] 391 00:15:01,135 --> 00:15:02,505 -Hold on a second, my-- -Shut up! 392 00:15:02,571 --> 00:15:04,709 [Nadja] Who told you that was a good idea?! 393 00:15:04,776 --> 00:15:06,345 -All right, my darling. -[Nadja] You were singing, 394 00:15:06,412 --> 00:15:07,982 "Kill them, kill them, kill them." 395 00:15:08,048 --> 00:15:10,420 How many times have I said that to you in Greek? 396 00:15:11,488 --> 00:15:13,459 -[phone chimes] -[Gregg] We can't hear you. 397 00:15:13,527 --> 00:15:15,163 You're just gonna need to speak up. 398 00:15:15,229 --> 00:15:17,635 Feels like we should turn this over 399 00:15:17,701 --> 00:15:18,970 to the chairman at this point. 400 00:15:19,037 --> 00:15:22,010 Yes. Uh, so, uh, do we... 401 00:15:22,076 --> 00:15:25,751 -Um... -Hello. Yes. 402 00:15:25,818 --> 00:15:27,688 I can take it from here. 403 00:15:27,755 --> 00:15:30,894 Thank you for softening them up. 404 00:15:30,961 --> 00:15:33,098 Okay. Now, who is this? 405 00:15:33,165 --> 00:15:34,735 -[Jo] The Chairman. -[Gregg] Uh, you've worked with her 406 00:15:34,802 --> 00:15:36,906 -for 15 years now. -[Hannibal] Is that right? 407 00:15:36,973 --> 00:15:38,008 Did she get a haircut or something? 408 00:15:38,075 --> 00:15:39,377 Colin Robinson. 409 00:15:39,444 --> 00:15:42,317 Your opponent Barbara Lazarro's platform 410 00:15:42,383 --> 00:15:44,755 is a direct threat to the lifeblood 411 00:15:44,822 --> 00:15:46,593 of energy vampires, 412 00:15:46,659 --> 00:15:48,663 which is-- 413 00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:50,032 what's the word-- 414 00:15:50,099 --> 00:15:51,503 bureaucracy. 415 00:15:51,569 --> 00:15:54,407 -Bureaucracy. -[Martha] And bureaucracy is... 416 00:15:54,474 --> 00:15:57,113 How do I put this? I feel like there's 417 00:15:57,180 --> 00:15:58,550 -a slogan... -Oh. 418 00:15:58,617 --> 00:16:00,319 Bureaucracy is the gum 419 00:16:00,386 --> 00:16:03,092 that clogs the gears of every human endeavor. 420 00:16:03,159 --> 00:16:05,196 The petty BS, in triplicate, 421 00:16:05,263 --> 00:16:06,566 -[groans] -that reminds 422 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,970 the common man that he is a useless speck 423 00:16:09,037 --> 00:16:10,507 and has kept energy vampires 424 00:16:10,574 --> 00:16:13,814 everywhere well-fed, fat, and happy. 425 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,485 [others] All hail bureaucracy. 426 00:16:16,553 --> 00:16:19,024 Enough. I can't take it anymore. 427 00:16:19,090 --> 00:16:21,261 Why are we here? W-What do you want us to do? 428 00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:24,535 You must beat Barbara Lazarro, 429 00:16:24,602 --> 00:16:25,671 or else. 430 00:16:25,737 --> 00:16:28,108 How do you expect me to beat Barbara Lazarro? 431 00:16:28,175 --> 00:16:29,444 I-I can't win. 432 00:16:29,512 --> 00:16:30,547 Even if I could, 433 00:16:30,614 --> 00:16:32,952 I don't even want to be comptroller. 434 00:16:33,018 --> 00:16:35,156 This is how we feed, dummy. 435 00:16:35,223 --> 00:16:37,828 You need to protect our way of life. 436 00:16:37,895 --> 00:16:38,897 What if I don't? 437 00:16:38,964 --> 00:16:41,268 We have certain methods 438 00:16:41,335 --> 00:16:43,640 for persuading the reluctant. 439 00:16:43,707 --> 00:16:46,011 [wheels squeaking] 440 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,482 Turn it around. It's backwards. 441 00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:49,752 -[Martha] I can't see it. -[Aparna] It's backwards. 442 00:16:49,819 --> 00:16:51,255 Turn it so it faces them, 443 00:16:51,321 --> 00:16:52,725 but also is facing me. 444 00:16:52,791 --> 00:16:55,329 [Aparna] Turn it so the screen is facing us. 445 00:16:55,396 --> 00:16:56,933 -[Martha] No, they can't see it. -[Hannibal] To the left more. 446 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,603 -Left, left. -[Gregg] Please be more expedient. 447 00:16:58,670 --> 00:16:59,605 Thank you. 448 00:16:59,672 --> 00:17:03,045 Slide one of 543: 449 00:17:03,112 --> 00:17:05,449 "Hurry Up and Wait: An Argument for 450 00:17:05,517 --> 00:17:07,320 -"and Statistical Review -[sighs] -[Evie] Make it stop. 451 00:17:07,387 --> 00:17:10,493 -"of Energy Vampire Preservation -It's too much. 452 00:17:10,561 --> 00:17:11,663 "Via Bureaucracy, 453 00:17:11,729 --> 00:17:12,831 -Secured Only Through..." -[Colin] Fine. Fine. 454 00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:14,769 We-We'll do it, just... 455 00:17:14,835 --> 00:17:16,438 please let us out of here. 456 00:17:16,506 --> 00:17:18,475 Thanks, but we-we're still gonna read it. 457 00:17:18,543 --> 00:17:20,479 -[Colin sighs] -Just to reiterate. Still gonna 458 00:17:20,547 --> 00:17:22,050 -watch it and read it. -[Martha] "Part One, Section One..." 459 00:17:27,026 --> 00:17:29,231 And I'm here to fight for the change you deserve, 460 00:17:29,297 --> 00:17:32,003 Staten Island. And with all of you, my Colin-izers, 461 00:17:32,070 --> 00:17:34,007 by my side, I can't lose. 462 00:17:34,074 --> 00:17:37,046 [laughs] I'm so full of passion, 463 00:17:37,113 --> 00:17:38,650 I just want to scream! 464 00:17:38,717 --> 00:17:40,453 [laughs, screams, whoops] 465 00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:43,593 And now we're off to Mariners Harbor, 466 00:17:43,660 --> 00:17:44,895 Midland Beach, 467 00:17:44,962 --> 00:17:48,068 Randall Manor. Yee-haw! 468 00:17:48,135 --> 00:17:50,172 Okay. I'm just gonna take 469 00:17:50,239 --> 00:17:52,043 a quick break now to settle down. 470 00:17:52,110 --> 00:17:55,049 [whimpers] I can't keep doing this. 471 00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:58,523 Uh, I can't keep pretending to be 472 00:17:58,590 --> 00:18:00,894 Mr. Charisma to all these nimrods. 473 00:18:00,961 --> 00:18:02,330 It's awful. 474 00:18:02,397 --> 00:18:04,000 But the Energy Vampire Council said 475 00:18:04,067 --> 00:18:06,739 we have to win, or else. 476 00:18:06,806 --> 00:18:07,841 [exhales] 477 00:18:07,908 --> 00:18:09,645 No. No. No. 478 00:18:09,712 --> 00:18:12,083 Enough. It ends now. 479 00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:14,087 What? 480 00:18:14,154 --> 00:18:15,824 Okay, where was I? 481 00:18:15,891 --> 00:18:19,064 -Let's see here. Meiers Corners. -[voters cheering] 482 00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:21,234 Graniteville. How about Fort Wadsworth? 483 00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:22,638 Do I hear anyone from 484 00:18:22,705 --> 00:18:24,407 Randall Manor?! 485 00:18:24,474 --> 00:18:27,146 -[woman gasps] -[laughs] All right! 486 00:18:27,213 --> 00:18:28,550 What? 487 00:18:28,617 --> 00:18:31,689 Oh, i-it-it's not what it looks like. 488 00:18:31,756 --> 00:18:33,927 I was just beating off 489 00:18:33,994 --> 00:18:35,831 to all your beautiful faces 490 00:18:35,897 --> 00:18:37,534 during the break, and I-I guess 491 00:18:37,601 --> 00:18:40,941 I forgot to pull up my-my pants. 492 00:18:41,008 --> 00:18:43,880 [Nandor] So, I waited, like, 493 00:18:43,947 --> 00:18:45,617 five hours at the gym 494 00:18:45,684 --> 00:18:47,855 to bump into my friend Alexander. 495 00:18:47,921 --> 00:18:51,161 Then, when he finally did show up... 496 00:18:51,228 --> 00:18:53,867 Alexander! Come on. Oh, Alexander! 497 00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:55,403 I don't know. 498 00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:58,108 Maybe I rushed things a little with my big reveal. 499 00:18:58,175 --> 00:19:01,448 Alexander! Ta-da! 500 00:19:01,516 --> 00:19:02,751 Twins. 501 00:19:02,818 --> 00:19:04,120 Alexander, wait. 502 00:19:04,187 --> 00:19:05,991 I got to get out of this fucking city. 503 00:19:06,058 --> 00:19:07,093 [Nandor] Alexander! 504 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:08,730 The excitement of our friendship 505 00:19:08,797 --> 00:19:10,099 made me overlook my vampire powers. 506 00:19:10,166 --> 00:19:11,803 Hi. 507 00:19:11,869 --> 00:19:14,608 My foreskin grew back very fast. 508 00:19:14,675 --> 00:19:16,612 Now he thinks I'm meshuggener, 509 00:19:16,679 --> 00:19:20,319 which means he thinks I'm a little bit of a putz. 510 00:19:21,889 --> 00:19:24,160 [indistinct chatter] 511 00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:28,570 Shh. 512 00:19:30,774 --> 00:19:31,943 Shh. Pss, pss, pss, pss. 513 00:19:32,010 --> 00:19:33,580 [Laszlo] No, don't stop, not on my account. 514 00:19:33,646 --> 00:19:35,149 Keep going. 515 00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:37,053 Now, I know I'm different from you people, 516 00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:38,322 but I am who I am. 517 00:19:38,389 --> 00:19:40,059 "And who are you?" I hear you ask. 518 00:19:40,126 --> 00:19:42,230 -Fuck's sake. -[Laszlo] Well, that's a good question. 519 00:19:42,296 --> 00:19:44,067 -[speaking Greek] -I... 520 00:19:44,134 --> 00:19:46,506 am an esteemed British gentleman, 521 00:19:46,572 --> 00:19:48,242 well-bred to the manor born. 522 00:19:48,308 --> 00:19:50,112 I can speak 14 languages, 523 00:19:50,179 --> 00:19:51,381 as long as they are English. 524 00:19:51,448 --> 00:19:53,252 I can play any instrument, 525 00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:54,622 apart from bagpipes. 526 00:19:54,688 --> 00:19:56,826 They sound fucking terrible to everyone. 527 00:19:56,893 --> 00:19:58,763 I can fashion any tree, 528 00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:00,399 any hedge, into a vulva. 529 00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,437 In the days before medicine, I survived 530 00:20:02,504 --> 00:20:05,176 gonorrhea, chlamydia, 531 00:20:05,242 --> 00:20:08,115 the plague, clubfoot, leprosy, 532 00:20:08,182 --> 00:20:10,754 black fever, yellow fever, 533 00:20:10,821 --> 00:20:12,490 night fever. 534 00:20:12,558 --> 00:20:14,762 But most important, and I must emphasize 535 00:20:14,829 --> 00:20:17,166 that this is the most important thing about me: 536 00:20:17,233 --> 00:20:20,039 I am a certified 537 00:20:20,106 --> 00:20:21,475 master cocksman. 538 00:20:21,542 --> 00:20:23,145 -[sighs] -To cut this short 539 00:20:23,212 --> 00:20:24,682 and to get straight to the point, 540 00:20:24,749 --> 00:20:27,855 you can all go f-f-fuck yourselves. 541 00:20:27,921 --> 00:20:29,290 -[others groan] -Oh, for fuck's sake, Laszlo. 542 00:20:29,357 --> 00:20:31,996 -[all speaking Greek] -Very hard. 543 00:20:32,063 --> 00:20:34,502 [speaking Greek] 544 00:20:35,269 --> 00:20:36,204 What's she doing, my love? 545 00:20:36,271 --> 00:20:38,175 What's happening? 546 00:20:38,242 --> 00:20:40,479 [all speaking Greek] 547 00:20:44,522 --> 00:20:47,928 [Nadja] By some stroke of dumb luck, 548 00:20:47,995 --> 00:20:50,834 my new family absolutely bloody love Laszlo. 549 00:20:50,901 --> 00:20:53,773 You see, there is a tale in my country 550 00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,811 that has been passed down through generations 551 00:20:55,877 --> 00:20:57,614 of a wet-headed, 552 00:20:57,681 --> 00:20:59,852 wide-bodied, ignorant oaf, 553 00:20:59,919 --> 00:21:01,656 with the brains of a chewing gums. 554 00:21:01,722 --> 00:21:04,528 This spirit is said to continually reincarnate itself, 555 00:21:04,595 --> 00:21:07,433 but always as a pompous, perverted oaf. 556 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:10,139 And my family think it is, well, 557 00:21:10,206 --> 00:21:11,609 Laszlo. 558 00:21:11,676 --> 00:21:14,247 And when you are in the presence of this spirit, 559 00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:17,386 it brings good luck and good fortune to everyone. 560 00:21:17,453 --> 00:21:18,923 Hello there. How are you? 561 00:21:18,990 --> 00:21:20,994 Vasiliás Pyuroni. 562 00:21:21,061 --> 00:21:23,232 The king of pigs. 563 00:21:23,298 --> 00:21:25,904 My king of pigs. 564 00:21:25,971 --> 00:21:27,206 [cheering] 565 00:21:27,273 --> 00:21:30,179 -He's very, very, very stupid. -[laughs] 566 00:21:30,246 --> 00:21:33,586 I want to say to my young boys, 567 00:21:33,653 --> 00:21:35,957 uh, Connor and Cra-- 568 00:21:36,024 --> 00:21:38,028 Christoph... pher, 569 00:21:38,095 --> 00:21:41,669 to them, I say I'm sorry, Daddy's coming home. 570 00:21:43,506 --> 00:21:46,178 I-I'd like to say a few words myself. 571 00:21:46,244 --> 00:21:47,380 [clears throat] 572 00:21:47,446 --> 00:21:49,618 Thank you in advance 573 00:21:49,685 --> 00:21:53,225 for respecting my family's privacy-- 574 00:21:53,292 --> 00:21:55,897 don't touch me-- 575 00:21:55,964 --> 00:21:59,972 while we deal with this isolated incident 576 00:22:00,039 --> 00:22:02,945 in which my husband 577 00:22:03,011 --> 00:22:05,517 flashed and mooned 578 00:22:05,584 --> 00:22:07,888 the beautiful voters 579 00:22:07,955 --> 00:22:09,424 of Staten Island 580 00:22:09,490 --> 00:22:12,196 after a poorly-timed 581 00:22:12,263 --> 00:22:14,100 masturbation sesh. 582 00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:17,975 As well as the isolated incident in which 583 00:22:18,041 --> 00:22:19,979 we woke up to 584 00:22:20,045 --> 00:22:22,584 what sounded like a burglar in our house, 585 00:22:22,651 --> 00:22:24,822 and my husband immediately yelled, 586 00:22:24,889 --> 00:22:27,761 "Take her and my kids, don't take me" 587 00:22:27,828 --> 00:22:29,464 -before realizing -[people gasp] 588 00:22:29,532 --> 00:22:32,336 it was just a racoon outside our house. 589 00:22:33,105 --> 00:22:35,175 This man has let us all down. 590 00:22:35,242 --> 00:22:36,779 But I will make it up to you 591 00:22:36,846 --> 00:22:39,885 by becoming your next borough comptroller. 592 00:22:39,952 --> 00:22:41,187 [cheering] 593 00:22:41,254 --> 00:22:42,858 [Sean] All right! 594 00:22:48,068 --> 00:22:49,805 [Colin] I was surprised that 595 00:22:49,872 --> 00:22:53,513 Evie ran in my place. Only 596 00:22:53,580 --> 00:22:55,584 18 people voted. 597 00:22:55,650 --> 00:22:57,386 So, with the write-in votes 598 00:22:57,453 --> 00:22:59,357 that Evie got from her 599 00:22:59,424 --> 00:23:00,894 breakup group-- 600 00:23:00,961 --> 00:23:03,600 well, it was enough to carry the day. 601 00:23:03,666 --> 00:23:05,135 I think she'll do 602 00:23:05,202 --> 00:23:06,739 the council proud. I-I'm 603 00:23:06,806 --> 00:23:09,377 -happy for her. -Colin Robinson. 604 00:23:09,444 --> 00:23:12,083 Evie Russell. What are you doing here? 605 00:23:12,149 --> 00:23:14,387 I wanted to let you know... 606 00:23:14,454 --> 00:23:16,792 [clears throat] 607 00:23:16,859 --> 00:23:18,028 I'm sad. 608 00:23:18,095 --> 00:23:21,569 Why? I thought you'd enjoy being comptroller. 609 00:23:21,636 --> 00:23:24,340 I'm sad because 610 00:23:24,407 --> 00:23:26,545 we can't see each other anymore. 611 00:23:27,514 --> 00:23:29,752 But maybe you and I 612 00:23:29,818 --> 00:23:32,858 could meet up every once in a while 613 00:23:32,925 --> 00:23:35,697 -and later... -I don't want to do that. 614 00:23:35,764 --> 00:23:37,801 -But maybe w-we can-- -I-I'm sorry. 615 00:23:37,868 --> 00:23:40,674 -I should give this back to you. -Yeah, I want this back. 616 00:23:40,740 --> 00:23:42,978 I hope you didn't pay too much for it. 617 00:23:43,045 --> 00:23:44,715 It gave me a rash, so I think it's made of 618 00:23:44,782 --> 00:23:46,384 some kind of really cheap metal. 619 00:23:46,451 --> 00:23:47,955 It's not metal. 620 00:23:48,021 --> 00:23:50,292 Oh. Well... 621 00:23:50,359 --> 00:23:53,098 I wish it didn't have to be this way. 622 00:23:54,467 --> 00:23:56,071 [sighs] 623 00:23:56,137 --> 00:23:58,442 Evie, wh-why? 624 00:23:58,509 --> 00:24:00,914 It's... 625 00:24:00,981 --> 00:24:03,051 complicated. 626 00:24:06,324 --> 00:24:07,628 -[door opens] -Nancy Meyers, 627 00:24:07,694 --> 00:24:09,464 -2009. -[door closes] 628 00:24:11,067 --> 00:24:14,742 ♪♪ Don't say goodbye, don't make me cry ♪♪ 629 00:24:14,808 --> 00:24:17,446 ♪♪ Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪♪ 630 00:24:17,514 --> 00:24:20,954 ♪♪ It would only break my heart ♪♪ 631 00:24:21,021 --> 00:24:23,358 ♪♪ Doo-wop, doo-wop... ♪♪ 632 00:24:23,425 --> 00:24:24,995 [tires screeching on screen] 633 00:24:25,062 --> 00:24:26,732 Nothing like spending some quality time with old frien-- 634 00:24:26,799 --> 00:24:28,035 Shh! Shut the fuck up. 635 00:24:28,101 --> 00:24:30,406 I'm trying to watch a movie here. 636 00:24:30,472 --> 00:24:31,976 [sighs] 637 00:24:32,811 --> 00:24:36,886 ♪♪ Don't say goodbye, don't make me cry ♪♪ 638 00:24:36,952 --> 00:24:39,023 ♪♪ Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪♪ 639 00:24:39,090 --> 00:24:42,631 ♪♪ It would only break my heart ♪♪ 640 00:24:42,698 --> 00:24:44,968 ♪♪ Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪♪ 641 00:24:45,035 --> 00:24:48,509 ♪♪ If you ever, ever leave ♪♪ 642 00:24:48,576 --> 00:24:51,147 ♪♪ Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪♪ 643 00:24:51,214 --> 00:24:53,886 ♪♪ Then you know ♪♪ 644 00:24:53,953 --> 00:24:57,661 ♪♪ Don't say goodbye, don't make me cry ♪♪ 645 00:25:00,132 --> 00:25:03,973 ♪♪ Don't ever take your love from me ♪♪ 646 00:25:05,977 --> 00:25:09,217 ♪♪ Our love could last eternally ♪♪ 647 00:25:09,283 --> 00:25:12,591 ♪♪ Eternally. ♪♪ 648 00:25:12,657 --> 00:25:16,064 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org