1
00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:04,336
Oh, shit.
2
00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:08,048
Says here, "The large intestine should
be placed before the small intestine."
3
00:00:08,049 --> 00:00:10,217
Of course.
That is the order of intestines.
4
00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:13,679
Well, that would explain why
my monster cannot digest corn.
5
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,389
I'm gonna have to open the brute up again.
6
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:17,766
Please, no more cutting.
7
00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:19,560
Oh, no, no, sorry.
I wasn't talking about you.
8
00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:22,271
I was talking about
another shambolic monstrosity.
9
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,897
Uh-huh.
10
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:27,026
What the shit was that?
11
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,862
- It sounded bad.
- Really bad.
12
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,405
Where is it coming from?
13
00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:33,282
It sounded like it came from out here.
14
00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,909
- No!
- It's coming from Sean's house.
15
00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:37,953
Seanie!
16
00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:41,041
Leap into the air.
We're coming, Seanie!
17
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:42,583
This way.
18
00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:44,001
Yes.
19
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:46,003
Oh, yes! Oh, yeah!
20
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:49,381
What the blazes?
We need to help him. Come on.
21
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:50,467
Shit.
22
00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:52,010
We're coming in, Sean.
23
00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:54,887
Thank you. Sean!
24
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,014
- What are you doing? That's a foul!
- Fucking beads.
25
00:00:57,015 --> 00:01:01,060
Clean the boards! Clean the boards!
There you go! That a boy!
26
00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:04,146
- Why? Why would you do that?
- Is he drunk?
27
00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:05,397
Sean's always drunk.
28
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:08,859
This is far more serious.
Ecstatic one minute, distraught the next.
29
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:11,153
And he's wrestling
with control of his body.
30
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:12,571
I've seen this before.
31
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,406
Yes, I've seen this before too.
32
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,576
Sean is possessed by a demon.
33
00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:20,746
Oh, I thought you meant
you'd seen Sean's basement before.
34
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:24,083
{\an8}A demon is a malevolent spirit
from the underworld in search
35
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,918
{\an8}of a human body to inhabit.
36
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:30,756
And if it's not swiftly expelled,
it can obliterate a human soul entirely.
37
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:35,636
{\an8}Basically, it's just like a red guy.
Sometimes with horns, sometimes not.
38
00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:38,263
And one of these red bastards
penetrated Sean,
39
00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:40,182
which I will not tolerate.
40
00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:44,311
- Whatever you do, do not make eye contact.
- Yes. Sorry.
41
00:01:44,312 --> 00:01:46,939
Not with me, you idiot. With Sean.
42
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,774
- Hey, Seanie!
- Go! Get us under!
43
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:51,819
I can't take it.
I'm going to Diane's until this is over!
44
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:54,071
You cannot abandon Sean
in his hour of need.
45
00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:57,699
Laszlo, this is ridiculous.
Every year with his March Madness.
46
00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:58,784
Come on!
47
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,870
I had not heard
of this "March Madness" before.
48
00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:04,998
Throughout time,
humans have confused demonic possession
49
00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:07,000
with seasonal mental illness.
50
00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:12,548
Like when a frost ghoul poisons your soul
and they call it the "winter blahs."
51
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,049
Exactly that.
52
00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:19,513
- God!
- We should put him out of his misery.
53
00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:23,267
What the fuck are you doing, Nandor?
That's Seanie. He's our friend.
54
00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:25,477
Every fucking year!
55
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:30,190
The demon is expelling
his life force from within.
56
00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:31,776
Fucking hell.
57
00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:37,656
{\an8}♪ Don't sing if you want to live long ♪
58
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:40,160
{\an8}♪ They have no use for your song ♪
59
00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:43,412
♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead ♪
60
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,790
♪ You're dead and out of this world ♪
61
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,878
{\an8}♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone ♪
62
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,672
♪ You've sold out your dream
to the world ♪
63
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,424
♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead ♪
64
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,552
♪ You're dead and out of this world ♪
65
00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:10,564
{\an8}So, yeah, since I've never worked
in an office before,
66
00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:14,484
{\an8}I guess I didn't know how important
it was to have an office identity.
67
00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:16,695
For example, there's Jimmy and Raj.
68
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,572
- They're the office sports guys.
- This is for you.
69
00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:21,575
There's Danny,
who's the office barefoot guy.
70
00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:24,912
Oh, and Marla, her whole thing is being
the office dog lady,
71
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:28,707
which is awesome 'cause I love when Marla
brings her dog and it pisses everywhere.
72
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:31,710
{\an8}So, yeah, I'm just a little worried
that I don't have an office identity.
73
00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:36,090
{\an8}Can you give me a second, please?
74
00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:39,801
{\an8}Colin. Colin! Colin!
75
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,471
- Yeah. Hey.
- I don't understand.
76
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:44,973
Why do you have a leaf blower?
There are no leaves on the ground.
77
00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:46,725
Well, not yet there aren't.
78
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:48,811
Do you think you could give us, like,
two minutes?
79
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:50,812
- Yeah. Okay.
- Thank you.
80
00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:52,857
Yeah.
81
00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:55,901
Sorry about that.
82
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,402
So, yeah, I'm just a little concerned
83
00:03:57,403 --> 00:04:00,322
that I might not have
an office identity whatsoever.
84
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:01,240
Are you kidding?
85
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,534
- That's not good. That ain't good at all.
- Geez.
86
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:06,286
How about office crossword guy?
87
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:07,537
No, that's taken.
88
00:04:07,538 --> 00:04:08,914
Office hot guy?
89
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:11,458
No, taken by Jacob.
90
00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:14,795
Office not hot guy but has a hot wife.
91
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:16,797
Maybe it's not
that big of a deal. It's fine.
92
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:18,632
No, trust me, it's a big deal.
93
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:22,177
I've literally worked
in 137 different offices.
94
00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:23,887
It definitely is a big deal.
95
00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:28,850
How about, and I don't think
you could pull this off, office funny guy?
96
00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:32,020
- You got one of those?
- Unfortunately, we do.
97
00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:35,023
{\an8}It all sort of happened
by an accident, really.
98
00:04:35,024 --> 00:04:37,943
- Cannon Capital Strategies.
- Cannon Capital Strategies.
99
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:40,529
A phone rang and then I saw the banana,
100
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,865
and I did this thing where I pretended
the banana was the phone.
101
00:04:43,866 --> 00:04:47,160
- Yes, I'll connect you.
- Yes, I'll connect you.
102
00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:49,746
I can't believe no one
has ever thought of it before.
103
00:04:49,747 --> 00:04:52,792
Yes, that offer is very appealing.
104
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:56,044
My coworker Lisa, she totally gets me.
105
00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:58,505
- Lisa, I'm conferencing you in.
- Oh.
106
00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:02,677
She's like the Louise to my Thelma.
If that movie was a banana comedy.
107
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:08,181
Lisa, it's your nana. She's dying.
Aw.
108
00:05:08,182 --> 00:05:09,766
- Ring, ring.
- It's enough!
109
00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:11,143
Lisa, this thing won't stop ringing.
110
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,353
- It's driving me bananas.
- Okay!
111
00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:14,604
She's loving it.
112
00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:16,231
- Also, look, it's a gun.
- Stop it.
113
00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:19,776
So, long story short,
I guess I'm the office funny girl.
114
00:05:19,777 --> 00:05:23,613
That is good.
Okay, pivoting.
115
00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:26,867
How about, and please
don't take this the wrong way,
116
00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:28,744
office Mexican guy?
117
00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:30,871
- That's borderline racist.
- Okay. Sorry.
118
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,039
And, yes, I looked into it,
119
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:35,208
but Jose in compliance
has that [in Spanish] cerrado.
120
00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:37,002
Office gay?
121
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,587
No, that's taken. Same guy.
122
00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,464
Office slut?
123
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:43,426
- This guy is multitalented.
- Okay. Just give me a couple minutes.
124
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,303
Can you turn that off?
125
00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:48,348
It helps me think.
I just need two minutes.
126
00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:53,018
Yes. Come to me. Yes.
127
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,519
Any chance you could speed this up?
128
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,438
Oh I'm sorry. Am I going too slow?
129
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,900
Maybe it's 'cause I'm exhausted
working around the clock with Jerry.
130
00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:03,195
Jerry. What, are you guys, like,
boyfriend and girlfriend now?
131
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:06,073
- What?
- Or just, like, friends with benefits?
132
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:07,407
That's what I'm hearing anyway.
133
00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:10,077
He's working on his plans
to take over North America.
134
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:12,537
Working on his plan
to take over your underwear, more like.
135
00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,331
What say we get on
with the business at hand
136
00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:15,916
and summon the fucking demon?
137
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:18,960
Um...
138
00:06:18,961 --> 00:06:20,379
Sorry, I got a question.
139
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,255
- Yes?
- Do we repeat after you--
140
00:06:22,256 --> 00:06:25,509
No. What I need you to do
is just focus on hell.
141
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:26,968
- Yes.
- Get on with it, please.
142
00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:28,720
All right.
143
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:32,265
The best way to expel a demon
is to summon a bigger demon
144
00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:35,519
to then scare the fucking hell
out of the existing demon.
145
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,812
Everyone knows that.
146
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,614
Hello.
147
00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:50,492
I have prowled
the depths of the underworld
148
00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:52,702
for nigh on an eternity
149
00:06:52,703 --> 00:06:59,000
waiting to be summoned back
to sow fear and chaos once again.
150
00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:01,920
- Welcome, evil one.
- What season is it?
151
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,839
It is spring, o dark one.
152
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:08,718
- Uh, real quick, what month specifically?
- March, man of the nether region.
153
00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:09,803
It's-It's March?
154
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:13,598
- Yes.
- Oh, yes. Delicious.
155
00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:16,977
And, uh, which of these college squads
156
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:22,023
got their tickets punched
to the NCAA's Big Dance this year?
157
00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:24,651
He's looking at me. I haven't got
a clue what he's talking about.
158
00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,445
- Any Cinderella stories...
- What?
159
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,321
...vying for a chance in the sweet 16?
160
00:07:28,322 --> 00:07:31,908
I think this demon is really into
college basketball for some reason.
161
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:34,453
- You guys didn't fill out your brackets?
- What have you summoned?
162
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,745
I don't know how this happened.
163
00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:37,414
The game's on here.
164
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:41,501
They play basketball in college?
What about their studies?
165
00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:44,045
Get your head in the game. Let's go!
166
00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:45,922
Let us go, indeed.
167
00:07:45,923 --> 00:07:48,008
This young squad from Gonzaga
168
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:51,595
is about to have their character
put to the ultimate test,
169
00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:53,430
especially 'cause
they don't have a big man.
170
00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:56,183
They can't really effectively
punch it down low
171
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:57,810
- like UConn and Purdue, so...
- Uh-oh.
172
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:05,025
You're sure you can't see
the outline of my dick in these pants?
173
00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:06,902
- Like, bro, it's right there.
- So, you can't see it?
174
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:09,488
- No. I don't see it. It's fine.
- I want people to see it.
175
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,448
Then, yeah. You can see it.
Anyone can see it.
176
00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:13,408
- Fuck these pants.
- You got basketball tonight?
177
00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:15,285
You know it, baby.
Bring on the first-aid kit.
178
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:16,745
Shit. What're you doing here?
179
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:20,957
Well, I realized I can't really help you
with your identity crisis
180
00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:22,334
without being boots on the ground.
181
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,919
No. It's fine.
It's not that big of a deal.
182
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,421
No, actually it is a huge deal.
183
00:08:26,422 --> 00:08:27,964
If you don't make a splash,
184
00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:30,425
you're just gonna be another
anonymous name on a list
185
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:33,762
of expendable shit-munching drones
when the layoffs come.
186
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,430
- What layoffs?
- They're not gonna lay off
187
00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:37,057
Bobblehead Mike over there.
188
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:40,102
- That's not even his name.
- Oh, really? What is his name, then?
189
00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:42,312
- Bobblehead Kyle.
- Exactly.
190
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:45,273
All right. You just hang tight here.
I'm gonna get the lay of the land.
191
00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:47,150
What do people even think you do here?
192
00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:50,278
They think I'm one of those HR guys
that walks around telling people
193
00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:54,242
not to talk about tits and ass at work,
but I do it in a fun, irreverent way.
194
00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:57,494
Hello. Wanna hear a joke?
195
00:08:57,495 --> 00:09:01,998
Second chance points.
You gotta limit the second-chance points!
196
00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:04,376
Ah, yes. Second chance.
197
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:07,963
A mere offensive rebound,
and fate begins anew.
198
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,589
Why the fuck are you telling me?
199
00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:12,008
Get over there
and scare the demon out of Sean.
200
00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:14,886
Yeah, I'm getting there. But, I mean,
if they don't box out, this game's over.
201
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:17,180
- Oh, beautiful pass.
- Beautiful pass.
202
00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:19,724
- That's what I'm talking about.
- Nice! Good D. Solid.
203
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:21,268
- Yeah, very nice.
- Appreciate that.
204
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:23,895
- And down it goes...
- Oh!
205
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:25,146
He's just watching the fucking...
206
00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:28,066
- Oy, demon guy. Get the fuck on with it.
- Yeah.
207
00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:29,151
All right.
208
00:09:32,446 --> 00:09:35,448
Give me a minute, Charmaine!
This thing's down to the wire!
209
00:09:35,449 --> 00:09:37,451
- What was that? Do it louder.
- All right.
210
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:44,874
- Charmaine, give me a goddamn minute!
- All right. That's it.
211
00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:48,378
All right, Mr. Demon Guy, you can get up
and go back to the underworld.
212
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:52,674
A message arises
from the depths of the sports center,
213
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:57,345
harbingering grim news
about the fate of Gonzaga.
214
00:09:57,346 --> 00:10:01,475
Ay, ay. Stop. No spoilers.
I'm on a delay here. Hold on.
215
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:03,685
Who the fuck are you?
216
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:06,062
The souls of Gonzaga are doomed
217
00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:08,732
to a fate worse than eternal hellfire.
218
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,443
Banishment from this year's tournament.
219
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,028
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What?
220
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:16,489
You might wanna check your bracket, guy.
Gonzaga is out.
221
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:19,367
This is, like,
colossal bracket-busting upset.
222
00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:20,869
You gotta see the highlights.
223
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,413
You better watch your fucking mouth
'cause I got a lot of money
224
00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:24,748
riding on this game.
225
00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:27,292
- I... [grunts] I...
- That money is gone, friend. They lost.
226
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:29,794
Oh.
227
00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:34,215
Yes. Watch him squirm
as the demon leaves his body.
228
00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:37,093
What exactly is a Gonzaga?
229
00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:39,387
I thought they were
the strongest team in the tournament.
230
00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:42,098
You know, they got a really good group
of 3-and-D players.
231
00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:43,224
Pretty deep bench,
232
00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:45,268
- but ball handle--
- I'm so sorry to interrupt,
233
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:47,687
but should we just,
I don't know, kill him?
234
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:48,897
- Yes, I second that.
- Right?
235
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,149
- Or get human ambulance, but...
- Whoa, whoa. No, no.
236
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:52,985
Call 911.
237
00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:55,695
- Wow, look at Nadja.
- Uh-huh.
238
00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:57,781
She's killing it.
You could learn a thing or two.
239
00:10:57,782 --> 00:11:00,992
911, I'm having intrusive thoughts.
240
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:05,205
Could someone direct me
to the suicide hotline?
241
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,623
No.
242
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:08,249
She had 'em.
243
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,710
Uh, okay.
So, I've narrowed down our options.
244
00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:13,546
We're gonna go for the
office loud laugher. What you need to d--
245
00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:14,798
That's Cindy.
246
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:18,009
Next option,
how about the repressed hothead?
247
00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:20,053
- I don't even know what that is.
- You know, quiet guy,
248
00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:23,973
but if you press the wrong buttons,
goes from zero to 60 at the drop of a hat.
249
00:11:23,974 --> 00:11:26,476
I'm not really the kinda guy
that yells at people.
250
00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:27,811
No, that's the beauty of it.
251
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:31,189
The repressed hothead
only explodes once every few weeks.
252
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:33,817
You'd spend the majority of your time
apologizing to everyone
253
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:35,110
for your most recent outburst.
254
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:38,113
Oh, quarterly growth squad,
meeting's in five.
255
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,239
Let's do this thang.
256
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,784
Guillermo, you got my PowerPoint slides?
Ma P.P. slides?
257
00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:44,536
- Got your P.P. right in my hand.
- Okay.
258
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,913
Hey, maybe you could be, like,
the office piss guy.
259
00:11:46,914 --> 00:11:48,331
- No.
- He's into piss?
260
00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:49,416
Just stay here.
261
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,126
Okay, hothead it is.
262
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,210
We'll talk about it later.
263
00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:54,379
- Guillermo, next slide, my man.
- Yes.
264
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:58,925
All right, so here we have
the projected growth numbers for Q three,
265
00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:02,679
and it's conservative, but it's still
looking really good for 2.1%.
266
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,681
- Nice.
- Yeah, but it could be nicer, right?
267
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:07,183
- And if we get rowdy with it--
- I'll give you rowdy.
268
00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:08,935
- Give it to me.
- We cut half the workforce.
269
00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:12,564
I bet we could jack that up to 2.2 maybe,
maybe 2.3.
270
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,691
- You know what's cooler than 2.1% growth?
- No.
271
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:16,609
- Two point three percent.
- Two point three!
272
00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:19,028
Guillermo, You all right?
273
00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:20,363
Yeah. [clears throat] All good.
274
00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:21,448
Next slide, please.
275
00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:23,658
Yep.
276
00:12:23,659 --> 00:12:26,786
- Uh, Mr. de la Cruz?
- Do you know this guy?
277
00:12:26,787 --> 00:12:28,997
- No.
- Sorry, everyone.
278
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:31,750
Uh, Mr. de la Cruz,
if I could have you for a moment.
279
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,209
No, it can wait till after the meeting.
280
00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:36,421
Actually, it's pretty time sensitive.
I need to talk to you just for a second.
281
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:38,173
- Okay.
- All right, quick.
282
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:39,299
Just two secs, boss.
283
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,051
- Who's this guy again?
- Can you take a look at that?
284
00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:43,553
This is a lunch menu.
285
00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:46,264
Yeah, I wanted to get a head start
on tomorrow's order.
286
00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:47,557
Are you fucking kidding me?
287
00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:48,893
That's great. Go with it.
288
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:53,938
What the fuck, bro?
You come in here and interrupt us?
289
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:55,774
- Okay.
- That's some fucking BS!
290
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,233
Snap. Shit's getting real in here.
291
00:12:57,234 --> 00:12:58,777
You want my order? Fine. Here.
292
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,154
Take my order.
Get a pen ready and write this down.
293
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:02,405
- Let's go.
- Damn.
294
00:13:02,406 --> 00:13:04,407
I'll make sure
to go real slow for you, okay?
295
00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:05,658
- Showtime.
- Let's go! Tell him!
296
00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:07,870
I'm a stupid fucking idiot.
297
00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:10,330
Whoa! Fuck!
298
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:12,583
Hey, security? Security?
299
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:20,632
My dear Sean. What have I done?
300
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,509
Move the rock.
301
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:24,511
Ah, Jesus Christ. Terrible pass.
302
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,471
- Lazy possession, come on!
- Protect the rock.
303
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:27,932
Laszlo, if I may have a word.
304
00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:32,644
Respectfully, do you not think that it is
perhaps time for you to let Sean...
305
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:34,522
- Bullshit call.
- How do I put this?
306
00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:36,856
- Die?
- How dare you?
307
00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:39,193
Humans, they get hurt and then they die.
308
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,320
They are just temporary.
309
00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:46,074
No human is special. Not even your Seanie.
310
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:47,867
My Seanie is special.
311
00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:50,829
Ah! Finally. A fellow man of science.
312
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,873
- May I humbly offer you my diagnosis?
- Well, uh--
313
00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:56,960
My friend Sean here, he had a demon in him
314
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:59,170
and his possession has sent him into,
315
00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:00,965
what they call in the medical profession,
316
00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:04,425
a real fucking shitstorm.
317
00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:06,636
- We all have WebMD now, don't we?
- Yes.
318
00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:10,139
Well, it wasn't a heart attack,
if that's what you're referring to.
319
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:14,143
The technical term is a non-ST
elevation myocardial infarction.
320
00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:17,438
- Did he say "fuck Sean"?
- I did not say that. It's an "infarction."
321
00:14:17,439 --> 00:14:20,024
- You just said it again.
- It's just a minor heart incident.
322
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:21,317
Tomato, tomato.
323
00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:24,153
Right. Well, next time,
he may not be so lucky.
324
00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:26,781
Your friend's blood pressure is very high.
325
00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:29,200
I'd recommend starting
with diet and exercise.
326
00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:30,827
Well, don't you worry about a thing.
327
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,037
Under my supervision,
I'll have Sean back to rude health.
328
00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:34,706
- Great.
- Oh, fuck.
329
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,709
Oh, shit. Come on.
330
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:38,918
That is that.
331
00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:43,256
With the Wildcats out,
I shall join my bracket in hell.
332
00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:49,012
Now I begin the journey back to
the eternal hellfire from whence I came.
333
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,729
- See ya.
- Bye then.
334
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:58,813
I like that guy.
335
00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:02,859
Did anyone else expect his journey
back to hell to be a little cooler?
336
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,194
- Very much so.
- Hmm.
337
00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:07,405
Oh.
338
00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:08,490
Ah.
339
00:15:09,116 --> 00:15:10,117
There it is.
340
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,243
I really am sorry.
341
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:15,288
I-I saw this look in your eyes
and I thought you were gonna punch me.
342
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:17,373
- Yeah, well, I wasn't.
- We can work with this though.
343
00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:19,334
Guy getting punched
in the face at the office.
344
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:20,960
That's a pretty cool identity.
345
00:15:20,961 --> 00:15:22,212
Stop! Just stop.
346
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,131
Is everyone looking at us?
347
00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:26,799
Yeah. Yeah, they're all looking at us.
348
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,260
Great. Come out with me
and follow my lead, okay?
349
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:30,762
- Okay.
- All right.
350
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:33,933
- Yeah. Keep an eye on the situation--
- Can I have everyone's attention, please?
351
00:15:35,684 --> 00:15:37,394
Earlier in the conference room,
352
00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:42,023
a lot of you witnessed my colleague Colin...
353
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:43,107
Hello.
354
00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:47,195
...display behavior
that was wildly unacceptable.
355
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:50,616
But I ask that we show Colin some grace.
356
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:52,909
We don't know what's going on in his life.
357
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:54,953
We don't know the kind of day
that he's having.
358
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,914
And that's
why mental health is so important.
359
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:02,377
Hey, hey!
What the fuck are you doing, man?
360
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:06,966
Yeah. So I may have
accidentally punched Guillermo again...
361
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,342
- Go Colin!
- ...and again...
362
00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:10,885
- Break it up!
- ...and again and again.
363
00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:13,680
- I kind of lost track.
- Stop.
364
00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:16,015
Why did I punch Guillermo?
365
00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:18,810
I-I gotta be honest, I don't know.
366
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,603
Uh, your guess is as good as mine.
367
00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:22,897
Don't you fucking step to me!
368
00:16:22,898 --> 00:16:25,734
- Don't you step to me!
- Get him out of here!
369
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:29,905
Hello. I would like
to report an ass kicking.
370
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:35,244
♪ And did you know
It was a microphone too? ♪
371
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:39,665
I will say though. Felt effin' fantastic.
372
00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:43,751
Now, don't you worry about a thing, Sean.
I shall be right by your side
373
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:46,045
every step of your road to recovery.
374
00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:48,756
I won't ask you to do a thing
I wouldn't do myself.
375
00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:51,050
- We're a team.
- All due respect, Laz,
376
00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:53,469
I feel like we're kind of jumping
into the deep end here, you know?
377
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:55,805
How about we ditch
these stupid treadmills,
378
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:57,266
head over to Jersey Mike's,
379
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,268
set up a diet and exercise plan,
380
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:01,978
maybe order a footlong while we're at it?
381
00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:03,938
The good times can wait.
382
00:17:03,939 --> 00:17:06,315
You know, in another life,
I think I'd be a good host.
383
00:17:06,316 --> 00:17:08,110
You know, like, daytime stuff, I think?
384
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:09,777
- Definitely.
- Yeah.
385
00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:11,863
Back in Al Quolanudar,
386
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:15,325
when a fellow warrior
would fall on the battlefield,
387
00:17:16,076 --> 00:17:20,163
the honorable thing to do would be
to take care of that man's wife
388
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:22,290
until he got back on his feet.
389
00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:26,919
And so, as Sean heals,
I am here for Charmaine.
390
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:28,839
Taking out the garbage.
391
00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:32,967
Washing up.
392
00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:34,302
You're welcome.
393
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:35,804
Fixing what needs fixing.
394
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:38,556
Oh.
395
00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:40,892
Watching what she likes on the television,
396
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:44,020
which is mostly humans falling over...
397
00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,396
Wipeout!
398
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:48,066
...which is considered peak TV.
399
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:51,027
Because you take one peek,
and you love it.
400
00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:52,613
{\an8}Do I like Nandor?
401
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:54,906
{\an8}I mean, yeah, sure.
402
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,866
{\an8}I feel bad for the guy.
He's a little slow.
403
00:17:58,243 --> 00:17:59,494
Wipeout!
404
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:01,454
I mean, that's why
you guys are making this, right?
405
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:03,247
A documentary about a slow guy?
406
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:04,540
Wipeout!
407
00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:07,044
So, Nandor,
is there someone special in your life?
408
00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:11,339
There is someone I never had feelings for,
409
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:15,468
but then, very recently,
I have seen in a new light.
410
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:18,429
- And this is given rise to feelings I...
- Hmm.
411
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,223
...I do not understand.
412
00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:21,641
Well, does she know how you feel?
413
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:24,977
Honestly, Charmaine,
I do not even know how I feel.
414
00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:27,523
- Well, you should tell her.
- I should tell no one!
415
00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:31,109
- Can you keep this secret, Charmaine?
- Mm-hmm.
416
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:34,153
Good, because if you don't,
I'll kill you in your sleep.
417
00:18:34,154 --> 00:18:35,697
Okay, mum's the word.
418
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:39,867
I know this is going to hurt, but pain is
just weakness leaving the body.
419
00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:42,161
Is pain also piss leaving the body?
420
00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:44,831
'Cause I think I pained
my shorts a little.
421
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:49,752
Come on, Sean. Harder. Faster.
You love to ball. Prove it.
422
00:18:49,753 --> 00:18:51,672
Fucking stop!
423
00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:54,757
That wasn't that bad.
424
00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:56,134
How do I stop it?
425
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,553
Yeah. That's the stuff.
426
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,805
Ow. Nandor, have you ever
done this before?
427
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:03,641
No.
428
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:06,895
Hey, Laszlo. What? I'll be right there.
429
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:08,813
Is everything okay?
430
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,815
Sean had another heart attack!
431
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:14,026
Oh, no. We must definitely do something
about that...
432
00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:16,445
- Come on.
- ...after this episode of Love Island.
433
00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:18,657
We go bye-bye now. Come on!
434
00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:23,786
Sorry I pushed you so hard, Sean.
435
00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:27,832
I tried to extend your pathetic,
short human life.
436
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:31,753
Now I realize I should
just cherish the time we have.
437
00:19:32,462 --> 00:19:35,715
Hey, listen, Char,
can you give Laz and I a moment here?
438
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:38,176
- Really?
- Yeah. You and Nandor go take a lap.
439
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,720
- You okay over there, Nandor?
- Hmm?
440
00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:43,015
- You wanna go get a snack?
- Sure.
441
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:45,975
Yeah, let's get this off your hands, okay?
442
00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:48,394
- So, what's on your mind, Seanie?
- Yeah.
443
00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:52,065
Look, Laz. My pop died young.
444
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:54,651
My gramps died young.
445
00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:57,196
I'm probably gonna die young.
446
00:19:57,905 --> 00:19:59,822
Yeah, yeah. It's all right.
447
00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:01,950
There's nothing I can do about it.
448
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:05,036
There's nothing
that you can do about it either.
449
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,914
It's a cruel, cruel world.
450
00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:09,833
Oh, no, don't be down.
451
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:11,584
It's actually a good thing.
452
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:14,546
Knowing that my life is short
makes me savor every moment.
453
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:17,298
I might not be here for long.
454
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:18,508
But while I am,
455
00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:21,886
I'm gonna live life to the fullest.
456
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,221
To the fullest!
457
00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:26,557
On to more important matters,
458
00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:29,310
you talk to that guy Mike about the thing?
459
00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:32,356
Yes.
460
00:20:33,523 --> 00:20:36,108
Where the hell is Charmaine?
I gotta get this down quick.
461
00:20:36,109 --> 00:20:37,318
Yeah.
462
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,320
I can't get it in fast enough.
463
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:40,489
I can see that.
464
00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:44,075
So sorry, Guillermo.
I'm just getting a call from my doctor.
465
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,243
That's enough. Give me that.
466
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:47,620
- That's gross. Give me that.
- No! Doctor, there's a monkey trying
467
00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:49,247
- to steal my phone!
- Give it to me!
468
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,040
Guillermo, can I grab you for a sec?
469
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:52,124
Great.
470
00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:53,459
- Come on in. Take a seat.
- Okay.
471
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:55,586
Hey, and, uh, close the door
behind you, please.
472
00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:56,672
Okay.
473
00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:00,925
- About yesterday--
- Yes. I'm so sorry about the commotion.
474
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:02,009
It'll never happen again.
475
00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:05,972
Just... I understand the optics
of the situation are not great, okay?
476
00:21:05,973 --> 00:21:10,434
Gay POC beat up by a white guy
who's bald on top of everything else.
477
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:12,603
I'm not sure being bald
makes it worse, but...
478
00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:17,817
We just never want a situation
where an employee feels unsafe.
479
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:19,902
- Yeah.
- So unsafe that they feel
480
00:21:19,903 --> 00:21:22,613
like they need to talk to a lawyer.
481
00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:23,907
Yeah.
482
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:27,285
Oh. You think I'm gonna sue the company?
483
00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:29,453
Hey, calm down, all right?
484
00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:31,622
- Those are your words, not mine.
- Sorry. Yes.
485
00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:34,542
But seriously, are you?
You can tell me.
486
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:36,377
- What are we doing here?
- No. No.
487
00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:37,837
I'm not gonna sue the company, no.
488
00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:40,047
I knew there was something special
about you, hombre.
489
00:21:40,048 --> 00:21:42,925
Makes me think--
You know, cone of silence here--
490
00:21:42,926 --> 00:21:46,095
There are some things happening at Cannon
that you could be very helpful with.
491
00:21:46,096 --> 00:21:50,224
- Oh, anything.
- Some legal gray areas, SEC-wise.
492
00:21:50,225 --> 00:21:52,518
- You feel me, bruh?
- Yeah. [stammering] SEC-wise.
493
00:21:52,519 --> 00:21:55,980
It's nothing bad. It's just
some corporate red tape bullshit.
494
00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:57,566
Kinda wanna look the other way
495
00:21:58,191 --> 00:21:59,859
so we can get back to doing good business.
496
00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:02,362
- Yeah.
- That sound like something you can handle?
497
00:22:04,239 --> 00:22:05,489
- Yes.
- Well, all right.
498
00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:08,451
At my last job,
I had to keep a lot of secrets.
499
00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:11,203
All right. Yeah. Tight as a vault, right?
500
00:22:11,204 --> 00:22:13,664
In fact, that's what
I'm gonna call you now. The Vault.
501
00:22:13,665 --> 00:22:15,708
- The Tight Vault?
- Just the Vault.
502
00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:17,710
Colin beating the shit out of me
503
00:22:17,711 --> 00:22:19,754
was probably the best thing
that ever happened to me.
504
00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:22,673
So I guess that's my thing?
505
00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:24,300
- Definitely.
- That's amazing.
506
00:22:24,301 --> 00:22:25,802
I finally have an identity.
507
00:22:26,636 --> 00:22:28,095
Maybe keep it between us
508
00:22:28,096 --> 00:22:31,307
how much I brought up your race
and your sexuality in this meeting.
509
00:22:31,308 --> 00:22:34,018
- I am the Vault, aren't I?
- Hey, my guy!
510
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:36,771
I'm trustworthy. I'm strong.
511
00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:38,022
- Now, back to work.
- Yeah.
512
00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:40,484
I'm the Tight Vault.
513
00:22:41,068 --> 00:22:42,234
Just the Vault.
514
00:22:58,251 --> 00:23:02,088
I'm going to invite The Guide
to watch Wipeout with me.
515
00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:05,925
No pressure. I mean, we can
just be friends watching TV,
516
00:23:05,926 --> 00:23:09,136
or we can make out. We'll see how it goes.
517
00:23:11,765 --> 00:23:13,641
Oh, Jerry.
518
00:23:13,642 --> 00:23:16,103
Hey. Are those for me?
519
00:23:17,979 --> 00:23:18,980
Yes.
520
00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:22,067
Are you gonna...
521
00:23:22,567 --> 00:23:25,737
Sure. Right.
522
00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:27,655
Fuck it.