1
00:00:05,971 --> 00:00:07,938
- [crew members clamoring]
- Hello.
2
00:00:09,285 --> 00:00:10,526
Hi.
3
00:00:10,527 --> 00:00:11,596
- Hello.
- Hey.
4
00:00:11,597 --> 00:00:12,908
Okay, moving on.
5
00:00:12,909 --> 00:00:14,393
[Nandor] What is this shit?
6
00:00:16,982 --> 00:00:19,052
Oh-- Uh, Hold there, please.
7
00:00:19,053 --> 00:00:20,916
- But I am going home.
- It's just gonna be
for a few seconds.
8
00:00:20,917 --> 00:00:22,607
We're just in the middle
of shooting something.
9
00:00:22,608 --> 00:00:24,954
Very cool. What are we shooting?
10
00:00:24,955 --> 00:00:27,233
- Dogs? Criminals?
- [crew member 1] Cut.
11
00:00:27,234 --> 00:00:28,751
I'm not allowed to say,
but what--
12
00:00:28,752 --> 00:00:29,890
[crew member 1]
Adam, we're cutting.
13
00:00:29,891 --> 00:00:32,031
Cut! Brad, can you go to two?
14
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,273
Who is Brad?
15
00:00:33,274 --> 00:00:34,895
Brad's 10-1, copy. Okay.
16
00:00:34,896 --> 00:00:37,795
10'1"! What a tall fellow
this Brad is.
17
00:00:37,796 --> 00:00:39,935
Copy. All right, we're moving
to the dolly shot!
18
00:00:39,936 --> 00:00:42,800
Dolly? Nadja would be devastated
if her dolly was shot.
19
00:00:42,801 --> 00:00:43,939
No, I must intervene.
20
00:00:43,940 --> 00:00:45,906
No. We're going again.
21
00:00:45,907 --> 00:00:47,150
[Adam screams]
22
00:00:48,151 --> 00:00:51,705
Shit, shit, shit.
Shitty, shitty, shit.
23
00:00:51,706 --> 00:00:54,294
Gentlemen. Gentlemen.
Gentlemen, we are under attack.
24
00:00:54,295 --> 00:00:56,779
A militia has assembled
on our territory.
25
00:00:56,780 --> 00:00:57,953
- [Laszlo] I know!
- It's not a militia.
26
00:00:57,954 --> 00:00:59,644
They're just filming a TV show.
27
00:00:59,645 --> 00:01:01,715
Well, this TV show
has invaded our territory.
28
00:01:01,716 --> 00:01:03,545
They are attacking us
with their trucks
29
00:01:03,546 --> 00:01:06,065
and their lights
and their gigantic Brads.
30
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,274
Nandor thinks
everything is a war.
31
00:01:08,275 --> 00:01:09,620
Yet this time,
32
00:01:09,621 --> 00:01:11,760
he's absolutely right.
33
00:01:11,761 --> 00:01:14,487
- It's called
PI Undercover: New York.
- [Nandor gasps]
34
00:01:14,488 --> 00:01:16,730
[Colin] It's a police procedural
in its fourth season.
35
00:01:16,731 --> 00:01:18,456
"Detective Jack Mancuso
36
00:01:18,457 --> 00:01:20,734
is brought to life
with deft sensitivity
37
00:01:20,735 --> 00:01:22,460
by a never-better Cal Bodian."
38
00:01:22,461 --> 00:01:24,221
"Brought to life"?
Who is this man?
39
00:01:24,222 --> 00:01:26,015
Some kind of necromancer?
40
00:01:26,016 --> 00:01:27,603
No. Worse. He's an actor.
41
00:01:27,604 --> 00:01:29,088
[Nandor] Shit.
42
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,813
[Colin] Now, wading down
into the comments.
43
00:01:30,814 --> 00:01:33,989
"Winsomely compelling
copaganda," says C-Rob-69 at--
44
00:01:33,990 --> 00:01:35,094
Oh, wait. That was me.
45
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,336
Drivel for the unwashed.
46
00:01:36,337 --> 00:01:38,442
The Bard, how he weeps.
47
00:01:38,443 --> 00:01:39,684
[thuds]
48
00:01:39,685 --> 00:01:41,341
- What the blazes?
- Fucking
49
00:01:41,342 --> 00:01:43,136
[car alarm beeps]
50
00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:44,586
[Laszlo] Why is there
a fucking truck in our garden?
51
00:01:44,587 --> 00:01:46,139
[crew member 1]
Entering the property.
52
00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:48,003
There's an enemy at the gate.
Hold the line.
53
00:01:48,004 --> 00:01:49,625
- Shit. Guys, I'm so sorry.
- [crew member 2] You good?
54
00:01:49,626 --> 00:01:51,420
Yeah. I'm with the owners.
Yeah, same location.
55
00:01:51,421 --> 00:01:52,594
Don't worry,
insurance is gonna
cover all this.
56
00:01:52,595 --> 00:01:54,285
We should disembowel this guy.
57
00:01:54,286 --> 00:01:55,666
- Let's fucking kill him.
- [crew member 3] Quiet on set.
58
00:01:55,667 --> 00:01:56,805
- We're rolling.
- Sorry.
59
00:01:56,806 --> 00:01:58,497
- Sorry.
- Sorry!
60
00:02:00,672 --> 00:02:03,156
♪ Don't sing
If you want to live long ♪
61
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:05,642
♪ They have no use
For your song ♪
62
00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:09,024
♪ You're dead, you're dead
You're dead ♪
63
00:02:09,025 --> 00:02:11,200
♪ You're dead
And out of this world ♪
64
00:02:13,063 --> 00:02:15,342
♪ Now your hope
And compassion is gone ♪
65
00:02:15,859 --> 00:02:18,551
♪ You've sold out your dream
To the world ♪
66
00:02:18,552 --> 00:02:21,381
♪ Stay dead, stay dead
Stay dead ♪
67
00:02:21,382 --> 00:02:23,557
♪ You're dead
And out of this world ♪
68
00:02:33,118 --> 00:02:37,156
Not bad. Not bad at all,
ya stud.
69
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:40,193
What are you up to,
you creamy snake?
70
00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:43,058
All dressed up
like a bowl of millet.
71
00:02:43,059 --> 00:02:45,992
I am getting ready to go
to a friend's house
72
00:02:45,993 --> 00:02:47,062
for a dinner party,
73
00:02:47,063 --> 00:02:48,374
thank you very much.
74
00:02:48,375 --> 00:02:49,720
You don't have any friends.
75
00:02:49,721 --> 00:02:51,100
Uh, yeah, I do.
76
00:02:51,101 --> 00:02:53,655
I've got the Monster
and my boy, Joel.
77
00:02:53,656 --> 00:02:56,727
Uh, w-what is a Joel? Joel?
78
00:02:56,728 --> 00:02:58,660
I'm always talking about Joel.
79
00:02:58,661 --> 00:03:01,214
We used to work together a few
years ago in the same office.
80
00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:02,560
Pushing paper around,
81
00:03:02,561 --> 00:03:04,493
- generally getting after it.
- Hmm.
82
00:03:04,494 --> 00:03:07,047
Yeah, I love Joel. Could never
bring myself to drain the guy.
83
00:03:07,048 --> 00:03:09,395
So why have we never
heard about him?
84
00:03:09,396 --> 00:03:12,501
Well, he and I drifted apart
a few years ago
85
00:03:12,502 --> 00:03:14,572
when he, uh, married Becky.
86
00:03:14,573 --> 00:03:17,230
He has a very nice,
pinched face.
87
00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:19,439
Anyway, he called me up
last week and was like,
88
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:21,924
"Hey, bruh. Wanna come over
for some grub, bruh?"
89
00:03:21,925 --> 00:03:24,030
And I was like,
"Sure, bruh. What time, bruh?"
90
00:03:24,031 --> 00:03:26,377
And he was like,
"Uh, 7:00, 7:30, bruh."
91
00:03:26,378 --> 00:03:28,586
- Could I come with you?
- Um--
92
00:03:28,587 --> 00:03:30,278
Why am I doing this?
93
00:03:30,279 --> 00:03:31,727
Ever since I have been
working up the career ladder
94
00:03:31,728 --> 00:03:32,866
at Cannon Capital,
95
00:03:32,867 --> 00:03:34,351
I have been absolutely loving
96
00:03:34,352 --> 00:03:36,939
my deliciously mild
human interactions.
97
00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:38,700
And I really want the chance to,
you know,
98
00:03:38,701 --> 00:03:40,598
practice my human small talk.
99
00:03:40,599 --> 00:03:43,601
"Oh, hey, hon. Love that top.
Where is it from?
100
00:03:43,602 --> 00:03:46,363
Online? Great. I love online.
101
00:03:46,364 --> 00:03:49,918
My allergies are bonkers today.
Sneezing, sneezing, sneezing.
102
00:03:49,919 --> 00:03:52,886
I think I'm gonna go low-key
for my birthday this year."
103
00:03:52,887 --> 00:03:54,819
Or, "I did
the Harris Potter quiz,
104
00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:57,097
and I got Slytherin.
Aw." [chuckles]
105
00:03:57,098 --> 00:04:01,585
You know, I'm trying really hard
to get back to normal with Joel.
106
00:04:01,586 --> 00:04:05,278
And I worry if I showed up
with a nightmare
107
00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:10,007
in a Civil War ghost's dress,
it might freak him the fuck out.
108
00:04:10,008 --> 00:04:11,940
I think it would make you
look like Mr. Bigs
109
00:04:11,941 --> 00:04:13,493
from the Sexy City show
110
00:04:13,494 --> 00:04:15,323
to have such a mouse woman
on your arm.
111
00:04:15,324 --> 00:04:16,738
Squeak, squeak.
112
00:04:16,739 --> 00:04:18,187
Eh. Fuck it, why not? Sure.
113
00:04:18,188 --> 00:04:19,431
Yay.
114
00:04:21,433 --> 00:04:22,675
- [Laszlo] Gizmo!
- [Nandor] Guillermo.
115
00:04:22,676 --> 00:04:23,814
[Laszlo] Wake up,
you little prick.
116
00:04:23,815 --> 00:04:25,850
[Nandor] Get the fuck up.
117
00:04:25,851 --> 00:04:27,507
- What? What? Why? What?
- Invaders have just
rammed a hole
118
00:04:27,508 --> 00:04:29,406
- in our garden wall.
- Sorry, I must've fallen asleep.
119
00:04:29,407 --> 00:04:30,752
You need to get up.
120
00:04:30,753 --> 00:04:32,305
We need weapons,
not this fancy-ass shit.
121
00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:34,203
We are about to launch
a counteroffensive.
122
00:04:34,204 --> 00:04:36,171
We need sickles
and scythes and weaponry.
123
00:04:36,172 --> 00:04:37,621
No. Whatever this is,
124
00:04:37,622 --> 00:04:39,312
it sounds like a bad idea.
Don't do it.
125
00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:41,141
We're being invaded.
We will not go empty-handed.
126
00:04:41,142 --> 00:04:43,212
We are about to conquer
a production
127
00:04:43,213 --> 00:04:46,008
known as
PI Undercover: New York.
128
00:04:46,009 --> 00:04:47,527
- What? Are you serious?
- Oh, yes.
129
00:04:47,528 --> 00:04:48,804
- Right now?
- Yes.
130
00:04:48,805 --> 00:04:50,427
- Are they? Move!
- [Laszlo] Wait!
131
00:04:50,428 --> 00:04:52,325
- [Nandor] Guillermo, wait!
- Where? Where?
132
00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:54,465
[Nandor] Guillermo, you cannot
take them on single-handedly.
133
00:04:54,466 --> 00:04:56,329
No. Don't ruin this for me, okay?
134
00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:58,055
That is my favorite show ever.
135
00:04:58,056 --> 00:05:00,195
PIUNY.
136
00:05:00,196 --> 00:05:04,233
[chuckles] It's the perfect
cozy, rainy-day show.
137
00:05:04,234 --> 00:05:05,787
But it's so much more than that.
138
00:05:05,788 --> 00:05:07,823
PI Undercover: New York
is, like,
139
00:05:07,824 --> 00:05:09,618
the crown jewel of the
PI Undercover extended
universe.
140
00:05:09,619 --> 00:05:11,344
I mean, I love
the original PI Undercover
141
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:13,691
and PI Undercover: London,
but PIUNY, ah,
142
00:05:13,692 --> 00:05:15,314
just hits different.
143
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,901
I mean, I've seen every episode,
like, 12 times.
144
00:05:16,902 --> 00:05:19,387
Essentially, it's a meditation
on grief because
145
00:05:19,388 --> 00:05:21,009
It's fantastic.
146
00:05:21,010 --> 00:05:24,012
In fact, last summer I cosplayed
as Jack Mancuso
147
00:05:24,013 --> 00:05:25,634
at the Philadelphia Comic Con.
148
00:05:25,635 --> 00:05:28,361
All the subreddit haters were,
like, so jelly.
149
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:29,914
Gizmo, you sound like a fuckwit.
150
00:05:29,915 --> 00:05:31,399
Do you think
Cal Bodian's over there?
151
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,021
Do you think he'll sign my zine?
152
00:05:33,022 --> 00:05:34,850
[Guillermo imitates trumpet]
153
00:05:34,851 --> 00:05:37,958
My PI Undercover fanzine.
I've done everything myself.
154
00:05:38,579 --> 00:05:40,616
I just took a guess
about the chest hair.
155
00:05:41,410 --> 00:05:44,273
He wants a Cambodian
to sign his what?
156
00:05:44,274 --> 00:05:45,379
Mmm.
157
00:05:49,210 --> 00:05:51,039
[Colin] Now, fair warning.
158
00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:52,868
The stuff Joel
and I used to talk about
159
00:05:52,869 --> 00:05:55,043
was not necessarily
family-friendly, so--
160
00:05:55,044 --> 00:05:56,527
Like what?
161
00:05:56,528 --> 00:05:58,943
- Eh. Just guy stuff.
- [Scoffs] Like what?
162
00:05:58,944 --> 00:06:00,531
- Don't worry about it.
- Tell me.
163
00:06:00,532 --> 00:06:02,707
- I'll tell you later.
- No, tell me now.
164
00:06:03,639 --> 00:06:05,468
- Boobs.
- Hmm.
165
00:06:06,089 --> 00:06:07,090
[Joel] They're here!
166
00:06:07,815 --> 00:06:09,126
Hey! [chuckles]
167
00:06:09,127 --> 00:06:10,714
- There he is.
- [Nadja chuckling]
168
00:06:10,715 --> 00:06:11,749
- What's up? What's up?
- Oh, my G-- What's up?
169
00:06:11,750 --> 00:06:13,407
This is look at him.
170
00:06:13,890 --> 00:06:16,098
- The prodigal
cubicle-mate returns.
- Hey!
171
00:06:16,099 --> 00:06:17,548
- Hi.
- Hello.
172
00:06:17,549 --> 00:06:19,136
Thank you so much for coming.
173
00:06:19,137 --> 00:06:21,932
This is Nadja, my girlfriend.
174
00:06:21,933 --> 00:06:24,590
I have heard so much
about you, and wow.
175
00:06:24,591 --> 00:06:26,799
Your top is so lovely and warm.
176
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:29,146
Reminds me of, um, PSL season.
177
00:06:29,147 --> 00:06:31,390
Pumpkin spice latte.
I love those.
178
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,427
I never know
if people are on-- on drugs.
179
00:06:34,601 --> 00:06:37,948
- What-- What is all this?
- Oh, Nadja, she's a YouTuber.
180
00:06:37,949 --> 00:06:39,881
Huge, uh, YouTuber.
181
00:06:39,882 --> 00:06:43,298
Search "Carrie Bradshaw walking"
and you'll find my channel.
182
00:06:43,299 --> 00:06:45,473
- She films everything, you know?
- Hello.
183
00:06:45,474 --> 00:06:47,233
- Mostly--
- Welcome.
184
00:06:47,234 --> 00:06:49,408
- [Colin] Oh.
- [Joel] This is Becky.
185
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,962
- [Colin] What the "hecky?"
Hi, Becky.
- Hello, Colin. How are you?
186
00:06:51,963 --> 00:06:54,896
I'm well. How are you? Uh,
this is Nadja, my girlfriend.
187
00:06:54,897 --> 00:06:56,449
Nice to pleasure.
188
00:06:56,450 --> 00:07:00,108
Girlfriend. It's-- It's lovely
to meet you.
189
00:07:00,109 --> 00:07:02,317
I'm gonna go
check on the salmon.
190
00:07:02,318 --> 00:07:06,632
I hope by salmon you mean wine.
'Cau I'm a woman. I love wine.
191
00:07:06,633 --> 00:07:08,565
No, I meant fish.
192
00:07:08,566 --> 00:07:10,912
Well, ladies to the kitchen, men
to the conversation. [chuckles]
193
00:07:10,913 --> 00:07:12,361
You go do it, girlfriend.
194
00:07:12,362 --> 00:07:13,915
[both chuckle]
195
00:07:13,916 --> 00:07:15,641
Listen, I know you said
no gifts, but, uh,
196
00:07:15,642 --> 00:07:17,781
- there you go. [laughing]
- This is totally unnecessary.
197
00:07:17,782 --> 00:07:19,610
But I ain't mad at it.
198
00:07:19,611 --> 00:07:21,923
I'm surprised you actually
had time to have us over
199
00:07:21,924 --> 00:07:23,925
with the season starting soon
200
00:07:23,926 --> 00:07:26,514
and pitchers and catchers
reporting in, like, 11 days.
201
00:07:26,515 --> 00:07:28,377
Go Mets, right? [chuckles]
202
00:07:28,378 --> 00:07:30,034
You know what? I'm not even
really feeling baseball anymore.
203
00:07:30,035 --> 00:07:31,520
Those fucking rule changes.
204
00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:34,694
- It's a Mike Piazza
baseball card.
- Yeah, I didn't know.
205
00:07:34,695 --> 00:07:36,627
- Is it signed?
- It is.
206
00:07:36,628 --> 00:07:40,597
So, I spent the last two weeks
binge-watching every Mets game
207
00:07:40,598 --> 00:07:42,115
from the past seven years.
208
00:07:42,116 --> 00:07:44,946
Baseball is extremely slow,
even for me.
209
00:07:44,947 --> 00:07:47,327
That's a lot of time
I'm not gonna get back.
210
00:07:47,328 --> 00:07:50,158
So, baseball's out.
What are you into now?
211
00:07:50,159 --> 00:07:53,541
- We watch Top Chef.
- Top Chef. Yeah, me too. Me
too.
212
00:07:53,542 --> 00:07:54,956
- Cool.
- Where's your bathroom?
213
00:07:54,957 --> 00:07:57,821
I need to do a
a number three. [laughs]
214
00:07:57,822 --> 00:08:00,064
- What?
- Ayo.
215
00:08:00,065 --> 00:08:01,825
I don't un what's a three?
216
00:08:01,826 --> 00:08:04,310
- Remember on our days
in the office?
- Yeah.
217
00:08:04,311 --> 00:08:06,174
We would go down
to the third floor
218
00:08:06,175 --> 00:08:08,003
to do our big smelly poos.
219
00:08:08,004 --> 00:08:10,523
- I think I kinda remember that.
- Where's your bathroom?
220
00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:11,904
- It's upstairs.
- Okay.
221
00:08:11,905 --> 00:08:13,353
- [Nadja] So nice.
- [Becky] Thank you.
222
00:08:13,354 --> 00:08:15,355
A little kiss for my "banooney."
223
00:08:15,356 --> 00:08:17,358
And one for me, my banana.
224
00:08:18,670 --> 00:08:20,361
[Nadja and Colin chuckle]
225
00:08:20,845 --> 00:08:22,053
Act normal.
226
00:08:23,123 --> 00:08:24,538
Your taste is just
227
00:08:25,090 --> 00:08:27,229
Thank you.
I just like solid colors.
228
00:08:27,230 --> 00:08:29,231
Hmm. Maroon.
229
00:08:29,232 --> 00:08:30,923
[crew members clamor]
230
00:08:30,924 --> 00:08:32,062
Traveling to base camp.
You over at video village?
231
00:08:32,063 --> 00:08:33,581
Let us storm their base camp.
232
00:08:33,582 --> 00:08:35,203
And lay waste
to their video village.
233
00:08:35,204 --> 00:08:38,068
- [crew member 3] Last looks.
- Indeed they are.
234
00:08:38,069 --> 00:08:41,416
- [Laszlo] Et tu, Seanie?
- Hey, fellas.
235
00:08:41,417 --> 00:08:44,177
- What the shit?
- I rent my bathroom out
to the crew.
236
00:08:44,178 --> 00:08:45,834
- He has succumbed
to the King's shilling.
237
00:08:45,835 --> 00:08:47,595
Oh, come on.
I do this all the time.
238
00:08:47,596 --> 00:08:49,597
You know how many movies
have wanted to rent
239
00:08:49,598 --> 00:08:51,530
my little potty?
240
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,739
We have lost our greatest ally
to the other side. Let's go.
241
00:08:53,740 --> 00:08:55,119
Think about
all the legendary piss
242
00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:56,742
that's flowing
through those pipes.
243
00:08:56,743 --> 00:08:58,088
Diane Keaton's piss.
244
00:08:58,089 --> 00:08:59,607
Jim Carrey's piss!
245
00:08:59,608 --> 00:09:01,747
Mike Barbooglio's piss!
246
00:09:01,748 --> 00:09:04,922
The salmon smells amazing,
Becky!
247
00:09:04,923 --> 00:09:08,857
I hope it's as good
as Tiffani Faison's
248
00:09:08,858 --> 00:09:11,550
monkfish from Top Chef
season one.
249
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,413
[chuckles]
250
00:09:13,414 --> 00:09:16,589
Please let me help with, um,
the touching and the boiling.
251
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:18,315
No. No, you're fine. Just relax.
252
00:09:18,316 --> 00:09:19,903
Tell me, how--
how did you and Colin meet?
253
00:09:19,904 --> 00:09:21,594
Oh, yes. Uh--
254
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:24,321
Let us gossip like
two little brain-dead bitches.
255
00:09:24,322 --> 00:09:26,566
Does, um,
Colin ever talk about me?
256
00:09:27,014 --> 00:09:28,636
- No. That was stupid.
- You know men.
257
00:09:28,637 --> 00:09:30,914
They don't talk about anything
258
00:09:30,915 --> 00:09:32,743
- other than, "Ouch, my balls."
- Yeah.
They don't talk about anything.
259
00:09:32,744 --> 00:09:34,643
- Yeah. Except Colin's
not like that.
- Scrotum. It's--
260
00:09:36,334 --> 00:09:38,611
Oh. Yes. Sorry?
261
00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:41,614
Colin's not like that.
Colin has never been like that.
262
00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:43,305
Right. Okay.
263
00:09:43,306 --> 00:09:45,480
Colin's not like other men.
He's really sensitive.
264
00:09:45,481 --> 00:09:47,931
And that is why
he is my soft-boiled egg.
265
00:09:47,932 --> 00:09:49,830
I'm very happy for you both.
266
00:09:50,797 --> 00:09:52,176
Sorry. I
267
00:09:52,177 --> 00:09:54,662
I don't wanna see
Colin get hurt, you know?
268
00:09:54,663 --> 00:09:57,354
- He's an incredible person.
- [flutters lips]
269
00:09:57,355 --> 00:10:00,460
I have used my brilliant powers
of deduction
270
00:10:00,461 --> 00:10:04,154
to detect that Becky
is rock-hard in love
271
00:10:04,155 --> 00:10:06,121
with Colin Robinson,
272
00:10:06,122 --> 00:10:08,779
much like Carrie loved Aidan
in the Sexy City show,
273
00:10:08,780 --> 00:10:11,403
which I have watched
every episode of.
274
00:10:12,577 --> 00:10:14,785
Looks like you two ladies
could use some drinks.
275
00:10:14,786 --> 00:10:16,994
Did you wash the lettuce
like I asked, Joel?
276
00:10:16,995 --> 00:10:18,755
I was about to, yes.
277
00:10:18,756 --> 00:10:20,929
So the answer's "no," not "yes"
if you didn't do it.
278
00:10:20,930 --> 00:10:22,000
So the answer's "no."
279
00:10:22,483 --> 00:10:23,968
Okay.
280
00:10:25,590 --> 00:10:27,453
[Guillermo] Cal Bodian
is still in his trailer,
281
00:10:27,454 --> 00:10:29,766
probably preparing for
his first scene of the day.
282
00:10:29,767 --> 00:10:31,181
He usually likes to get to set
283
00:10:31,182 --> 00:10:32,941
and meditate
for an hour beforehand,
284
00:10:32,942 --> 00:10:34,149
then he gets a snack.
285
00:10:34,150 --> 00:10:36,532
Usually a muffin
and a cup of tea.
286
00:10:37,188 --> 00:10:38,845
He's been sober for 17 years.
287
00:10:39,535 --> 00:10:41,606
Oh, my God. There he is!
288
00:10:42,503 --> 00:10:44,229
That's great guys! Thank you!
289
00:10:45,403 --> 00:10:46,783
Oh, wow. You have your muffin.
290
00:10:46,784 --> 00:10:48,336
So cool.
291
00:10:48,337 --> 00:10:50,857
Do you, uh-- Do you ever
read any of the fanzines?
292
00:10:51,409 --> 00:10:55,550
Ah. Good evening, sir.
Can I interest you in a meal?
293
00:10:55,551 --> 00:10:58,173
- A succulent Chinese meal?
- Wow.
294
00:10:58,174 --> 00:11:00,831
I'm just saying that's where
the PIUNY community
really is, you know?
295
00:11:00,832 --> 00:11:02,246
- Sure.
- In the zines.
296
00:11:02,247 --> 00:11:04,904
Mr. Bodian,
would you come with me?
297
00:11:04,905 --> 00:11:06,699
I have procured
several prostitutes
298
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,045
for your viewing pleasure.
299
00:11:08,046 --> 00:11:09,184
- Oh.
- [Nandor] I will not kill you.
300
00:11:09,185 --> 00:11:10,738
What scene is that for again?
301
00:11:10,739 --> 00:11:12,222
[crew member 4]
Mr. Bodian, we're ready for you.
302
00:11:12,223 --> 00:11:14,017
Okay. Thank you.
303
00:11:14,018 --> 00:11:15,604
- [Nandor] Mr. Bodian
But the prostitutes
- What?
304
00:11:15,605 --> 00:11:18,021
No, leave him alone.
Do not hurt Cal Bodian.
305
00:11:18,022 --> 00:11:19,608
This is war.
306
00:11:19,609 --> 00:11:21,714
Doesn't matter.
That man was not the leader.
307
00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:23,682
But he is the main guy
on the show.
308
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,753
He is an actor, Nandor.
309
00:11:25,754 --> 00:11:27,858
A simpleton who paints his face.
310
00:11:27,859 --> 00:11:31,275
He is an empty-headed puppet
who thinks the world loves him,
311
00:11:31,276 --> 00:11:33,588
when in actual fact,
he is nothing more
312
00:11:33,589 --> 00:11:35,866
than a lapdog
begging for scraps.
313
00:11:35,867 --> 00:11:37,626
- Yes.
- [Laszlo] No,
he is not the leader.
314
00:11:37,627 --> 00:11:40,388
That would be another devil
who pulls the strings.
315
00:11:40,389 --> 00:11:44,324
The half-wit
they call the director.
316
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:52,020
Colin Robinson,
did you and Becky
317
00:11:52,021 --> 00:11:53,401
ever have a thing
for each other?
318
00:11:53,402 --> 00:11:54,574
What? No.
319
00:11:54,575 --> 00:11:56,473
She and Joel
had some issues,
320
00:11:56,474 --> 00:11:58,475
and I was
a good listener for her.
321
00:11:58,476 --> 00:12:01,029
But that was only
because I wanted them
to get back together
322
00:12:01,030 --> 00:12:02,306
'cause Joel was so sad.
323
00:12:02,307 --> 00:12:03,412
I don't know.
324
00:12:03,826 --> 00:12:06,207
I think her vagina
is pulsing for you.
325
00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:08,657
Don't fabricate drama
where there isn't any.
326
00:12:08,658 --> 00:12:10,418
You wanted to come to this party
327
00:12:10,419 --> 00:12:12,144
to see how
the normal people live.
328
00:12:12,145 --> 00:12:15,700
Well, welcome to the wonderful
world of "normalos."
329
00:12:16,977 --> 00:12:19,324
- Enough.
- I do not get you at all.
330
00:12:21,188 --> 00:12:23,190
Halt. Where is your leader?
331
00:12:23,812 --> 00:12:24,847
Thank you.
332
00:12:25,986 --> 00:12:27,435
"AD."
333
00:12:27,436 --> 00:12:29,300
- A director.
- [Laszlo] Yes.
334
00:12:30,094 --> 00:12:32,682
- Now I cut
the head of the snake.
- Go in.
335
00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:36,617
Nice day.
336
00:12:37,515 --> 00:12:38,792
Come on, Nandor.
337
00:12:40,035 --> 00:12:41,795
What the fuck are you wearing?
338
00:12:42,485 --> 00:12:45,349
That was actually
the second assistant director,
339
00:12:45,350 --> 00:12:47,696
and he made me
production assistant.
340
00:12:47,697 --> 00:12:49,008
They are short-staffed.
341
00:12:49,009 --> 00:12:50,803
This is all good news.
342
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:53,288
- We can infiltrate them
from the inside.
- Yes, yes.
343
00:12:53,289 --> 00:12:56,636
But first, I must go to crafty
to fetch taffy for scripty.
344
00:12:56,637 --> 00:12:58,984
Oh, shit. Nandor,
you have been seduced
345
00:12:58,985 --> 00:13:01,124
by the siren of show business.
346
00:13:01,125 --> 00:13:03,989
- No, I'm infiltrating like
- [crew member] Where's the PA?
347
00:13:03,990 --> 00:13:05,818
- We're still waiting on
- whatever you said before.
348
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:07,337
Yes, go Nandor.
349
00:13:07,338 --> 00:13:09,684
Yes, I'm just fetching it.
What is taffy?
350
00:13:09,685 --> 00:13:11,099
Oh, no.
351
00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:14,033
Uh, Sy-- Uh, Strai--
Top. Top Gun.
352
00:13:14,034 --> 00:13:17,830
Uh, Top Ramen. Top Chef.
Top-- Top-- Top hat?
353
00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:20,143
- Uh-- Wait.
Did you say Top Chef?
- Yes, I did.
354
00:13:20,144 --> 00:13:22,455
- It was Top Chef.
- [screams] Nice one, dude.
355
00:13:22,456 --> 00:13:25,182
[laughs] Is it just me
or is it so hard to locate
356
00:13:25,183 --> 00:13:28,116
a good,
trustworthy handyman these days?
357
00:13:28,117 --> 00:13:29,531
- Yes!
- It is.
358
00:13:29,532 --> 00:13:30,878
When we wanted
to renovate the bathroom,
359
00:13:30,879 --> 00:13:32,327
I decided I'm just gonna
do it myself.
360
00:13:32,328 --> 00:13:33,950
You did a bathroom reno
by yourself?
361
00:13:33,951 --> 00:13:35,572
Yeah, I found
a guy out in Queens
362
00:13:35,573 --> 00:13:37,160
Oh, brother. Here we go.
363
00:13:37,161 --> 00:13:41,647
and he gave us
these beautiful vintage tiles.
364
00:13:41,648 --> 00:13:42,856
- And--
- They're just tiles.
365
00:13:43,581 --> 00:13:45,409
Do you wanna go to see it?
It's gorgeous.
366
00:13:45,410 --> 00:13:46,894
[Nadja chuckles] Uh, yes.
367
00:13:46,895 --> 00:13:48,516
- [Becky] Good luck. [scoffs]
- Yeah.
368
00:13:48,517 --> 00:13:50,690
- [Nadja] Is it dangerous?
- No, it's just boring.
369
00:13:50,691 --> 00:13:52,416
Yeah,
I guess I'm a fucking idiot
370
00:13:52,417 --> 00:13:55,248
'cause I saved us a lot of money
and did a kick-ass job.
371
00:13:58,561 --> 00:14:01,149
- What about that bathroom?
- Yes. Do you wanna see it?
372
00:14:01,150 --> 00:14:03,600
- Yeah. Yes, I'd love to see.
[chuckles]
- Okay. Great. Follow me.
373
00:14:03,601 --> 00:14:05,568
[Nadja] Try not to miss me
too much, my love.
374
00:14:11,195 --> 00:14:13,196
Sit here, Colin.
375
00:14:13,197 --> 00:14:16,682
- Right here.
I'm just kidding. [laughs]
- [laughs]
376
00:14:16,683 --> 00:14:18,718
Hello, Colin Robinson.
377
00:14:18,719 --> 00:14:19,755
Hello.
378
00:14:20,756 --> 00:14:23,379
Is she, uh-- Is she good to you?
379
00:14:24,725 --> 00:14:27,038
- Who?
- Your girlfriend. [scoffs]
380
00:14:27,590 --> 00:14:29,177
- Sorry. I hope
she's good to you.
- Oh.
381
00:14:29,178 --> 00:14:30,420
You-- You deserve it.
382
00:14:30,421 --> 00:14:31,939
Yeah, yeah. I think, you know
383
00:14:31,940 --> 00:14:33,699
Well, yeah, I think
we get along really well.
384
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:36,702
It's nothing as special
as what you and Joel have.
385
00:14:36,703 --> 00:14:39,118
Joel? [chuckles] Yeah. Ol' Joel.
386
00:14:39,119 --> 00:14:41,224
We've had our ups and downs
over the years.
387
00:14:41,225 --> 00:14:42,881
Yeah. That'll happen.
388
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,435
When it does, I
389
00:14:46,230 --> 00:14:47,782
I just remember
390
00:14:47,783 --> 00:14:50,233
you were the only one
I could talk to about it.
391
00:14:50,234 --> 00:14:52,580
Do you miss our talks,
Colin Robinson?
392
00:14:52,581 --> 00:14:53,651
[chuckles]
393
00:14:54,652 --> 00:14:55,687
Yeah, uh--
394
00:14:58,173 --> 00:14:59,759
Ready for you on set.
395
00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:01,382
I think he is slumbering.
396
00:15:01,383 --> 00:15:04,109
Go to two. Yeah, he's gone deep.
397
00:15:04,110 --> 00:15:07,215
Cans? Anyone for cans?
Would you like some cans?
398
00:15:07,216 --> 00:15:09,769
Some cans? Cans?
Fucking ignore me.
399
00:15:09,770 --> 00:15:11,426
I already have cans on.
400
00:15:11,427 --> 00:15:13,118
- You have cans?
- I have cans.
401
00:15:13,119 --> 00:15:14,809
[Nandor] Sorry. Hi.
402
00:15:14,810 --> 00:15:16,604
This one can for you.
403
00:15:16,605 --> 00:15:18,951
- Sure I can't tempt you
with some?
- Do you see 'em?
404
00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:20,263
- Anyone ask for cans?
- No.
405
00:15:20,264 --> 00:15:21,368
Son of a
406
00:15:23,646 --> 00:15:25,302
What the fuck are you doing?
407
00:15:25,303 --> 00:15:28,133
Uh, we are not allowed to say
what we're filming, sir.
408
00:15:28,134 --> 00:15:29,928
Also, we're trying
to clear the frame.
409
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:32,171
Would you mind following me over
by the snack table?
410
00:15:32,172 --> 00:15:34,173
- Rolling! We are rolling!
- What?
411
00:15:34,174 --> 00:15:35,278
All right. Shut up.
412
00:15:35,279 --> 00:15:37,245
Out the way, fuckos. Fuck.
413
00:15:37,246 --> 00:15:39,006
[Colin laughs]
414
00:15:39,007 --> 00:15:40,766
- Do you guys
wanna play Pictionary?
- [Nadja] Oh.
415
00:15:40,767 --> 00:15:42,941
Joel, they don't wanna
play Pictionary. It's okay.
416
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,667
Well, I mean
if it's anything like reading
a dictionary, then yeah.
417
00:15:45,668 --> 00:15:49,500
Yeah, I do.
418
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:55,230
[sniffs] Shit. Wait, what is
[sniffs] shit. No, no, no.
Fuck.
419
00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:58,680
- Oh.
- How many times
have I told you to replace
420
00:15:58,681 --> 00:16:00,165
the fucking smoke detector?
421
00:16:00,166 --> 00:16:01,787
It's my fault, of course.
422
00:16:01,788 --> 00:16:03,616
Come on, girlie. Smoked salmon.
423
00:16:03,617 --> 00:16:06,688
More excuse for cream cheese,
am I right?
424
00:16:06,689 --> 00:16:08,000
[Becky] My salmon is fucked.
425
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:10,451
[Nadja] I love the smell
of burnt salmon.
426
00:16:10,452 --> 00:16:12,660
[Becky] Goddamn it, Joel.
You're a fucking failure.
427
00:16:12,661 --> 00:16:14,041
Colin, can I ask you a favor?
428
00:16:14,042 --> 00:16:15,456
Sure, Joel. Anything.
429
00:16:15,457 --> 00:16:17,389
It's a little unconventional,
430
00:16:17,390 --> 00:16:19,667
and so if it
makes you uncomfortable,
431
00:16:19,668 --> 00:16:21,496
then you just tell me,
and I'll shut the hell up.
432
00:16:21,497 --> 00:16:23,119
Stop. We go too far back.
433
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,017
I mean,
we're like Stephanie Cmar
434
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:26,570
and Kristen Kish
435
00:16:26,571 --> 00:16:28,676
in the Seattle season
of Top Chef.
436
00:16:28,677 --> 00:16:30,678
You know,
they used to be roommates.
437
00:16:30,679 --> 00:16:32,162
Would you ever wanna--
438
00:16:32,163 --> 00:16:33,750
- Do you think that--
- Just a town house.
439
00:16:33,751 --> 00:16:35,338
Just go into this--
Just come with me.
440
00:16:35,339 --> 00:16:36,891
- Just can
- The hallway.
441
00:16:36,892 --> 00:16:38,479
Yeah, this is nice.
442
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,792
I need you to fuck my wife.
443
00:16:43,347 --> 00:16:44,830
[mumbles] What?
444
00:16:44,831 --> 00:16:46,245
[Joel] I told you
it was a little unusual.
445
00:16:46,246 --> 00:16:49,248
Is that something she would be
446
00:16:49,249 --> 00:16:50,870
- Ravenous for? Yes.
- Right.
447
00:16:50,871 --> 00:16:52,493
It's something
that keeps our marriage alive.
448
00:16:52,494 --> 00:16:54,046
Strange request.
449
00:16:54,047 --> 00:16:56,014
Yeah, okay.
450
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,223
Well, if it's any consolation,
I'll be there the whole time.
451
00:16:58,224 --> 00:17:00,535
- I'll have eyes on you--
- It's no consolation.
452
00:17:00,536 --> 00:17:02,054
- I have to go to the bathroom.
- Okay.
453
00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:03,435
But just think about it, buddy.
454
00:17:03,436 --> 00:17:04,747
Girlfriend, come here.
455
00:17:05,472 --> 00:17:06,542
[Nadja chuckles]
456
00:17:07,785 --> 00:17:09,097
I think he might.
457
00:17:10,408 --> 00:17:12,237
Sabotage.
458
00:17:12,238 --> 00:17:14,273
Do you know what the French
translation of "sabotage" is?
459
00:17:14,274 --> 00:17:15,688
It's "fuck things up."
460
00:17:15,689 --> 00:17:17,587
I'm gonna fuck things up
for these people.
461
00:17:17,588 --> 00:17:20,072
Chap in the white hat.
Now, he's the director.
462
00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:22,523
He doesn't know his arse
from a hole in the ground.
463
00:17:22,524 --> 00:17:25,250
The loudest man in the room
with fuck all to say.
464
00:17:25,251 --> 00:17:27,459
Surrounds himself
with sycophants,
465
00:17:27,460 --> 00:17:30,082
but nothing more
than a tin-pot dictator.
466
00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:31,946
And he's nothing
without the scribe.
467
00:17:31,947 --> 00:17:33,258
Now, that's the writer there.
468
00:17:33,259 --> 00:17:35,225
The brains behind
the whole thing,
469
00:17:35,226 --> 00:17:37,952
yet hugely underappreciated.
470
00:17:37,953 --> 00:17:39,643
Socially not the best,
471
00:17:39,644 --> 00:17:41,818
but she's the beating heart
behind the production.
472
00:17:41,819 --> 00:17:44,821
She is the passionate soul
of the televisual medium.
473
00:17:44,822 --> 00:17:47,099
- Sir, we are still rolling.
- What do you want?
474
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:50,068
- What are you doing here?
- I don't care what you-- Whoa.
475
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,622
Where the fuck
did you get that sweated shirt?
476
00:17:52,623 --> 00:17:54,002
This is for crew only.
477
00:17:54,003 --> 00:17:55,728
Season 3 crew only,
to be precise.
478
00:17:55,729 --> 00:17:57,109
[Laszlo] Yeah, I can see that.
479
00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:58,835
I want one of those
sweated shirts.
480
00:17:58,836 --> 00:18:00,630
Well, you can't have one.
That's a cut! That's a cut!
481
00:18:00,631 --> 00:18:03,840
I love that sweated shirt.
It is a remarkable garment.
482
00:18:03,841 --> 00:18:05,911
As you can see, there's some
kind of flap at the back
483
00:18:05,912 --> 00:18:08,224
which is attached to the neck,
which must be some kind of hood
484
00:18:08,225 --> 00:18:09,777
to protect him from the weather.
485
00:18:09,778 --> 00:18:11,917
On the front
looks like some kind of pouch,
486
00:18:11,918 --> 00:18:13,746
which I'm guessing
is inspired by the kangaroo.
487
00:18:13,747 --> 00:18:18,648
It's probably 50% polyester.
Maybe 40% cotton.
488
00:18:18,649 --> 00:18:20,305
And the rest must be rayon.
489
00:18:20,306 --> 00:18:22,134
But the biggest question I have
490
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:24,136
is why the fuck has he got
one of those and I haven't?
491
00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:25,689
[director] You're in the shot!
492
00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:27,035
[Laszlo] He's in the shot.
493
00:18:27,036 --> 00:18:28,140
[director] Dude,
you're in the shot!
494
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:29,659
He's fucked up.
495
00:18:29,660 --> 00:18:31,247
- [director] You're still in!
- [Laszlo laughs]
496
00:18:31,248 --> 00:18:32,938
[director] You're still
in the fucking shot!
497
00:18:32,939 --> 00:18:35,113
[crew member]
Go behind the bush.
498
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,012
[director] All right. Fuck it.
We'll fix it in post.
Back to one.
499
00:18:40,049 --> 00:18:42,879
You were right.
I-I don't know what to do.
500
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:47,194
I've wanted Joel's friendship
for so long, but at what cost?
501
00:18:47,195 --> 00:18:50,162
Colin, just stick your beak
in his wife and be friends.
502
00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:54,201
I just wanted a normal
relationship with him, you know?
503
00:18:54,202 --> 00:18:56,548
And this is not normal.
504
00:18:56,549 --> 00:18:59,067
I think it's probably time
to get you out of here, mister.
505
00:18:59,068 --> 00:19:00,139
[chuckles] Come on.
506
00:19:03,763 --> 00:19:05,453
Well, we better be off.
507
00:19:05,454 --> 00:19:07,283
There's a Pilates class
I've been promising myself
508
00:19:07,284 --> 00:19:08,698
I'll make in the morning.
509
00:19:08,699 --> 00:19:10,009
No. Why don't you come
join us first?
510
00:19:10,010 --> 00:19:11,563
There's plenty of room. Come on.
511
00:19:11,564 --> 00:19:13,737
No, our dance card is filled up
for the evening.
512
00:19:13,738 --> 00:19:16,223
What upset you?
Did my fucking idiot
of a husband say something?
513
00:19:16,224 --> 00:19:17,879
Uh-oh. Was I bad?
514
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,191
Hey, Joel, maybe next week
we could go bowling?
515
00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:20,710
- Yeah.
- That would be so fun.
516
00:19:20,711 --> 00:19:22,160
That'd be great. Just boys time,
517
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,540
and then you come back
and fuck my wife.
518
00:19:23,541 --> 00:19:26,164
Thanks for the grub.
That was swirl.
519
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,649
- [Joel and Colin chuckle]
- Hmm. [chuckles]
520
00:19:28,650 --> 00:19:29,754
Okay, come here.
521
00:19:33,586 --> 00:19:37,485
I say, Detective Mancuso
has soiled his trousers.
522
00:19:37,486 --> 00:19:41,109
- His show pants?
- What? Yeah. It's ghastly.
523
00:19:41,110 --> 00:19:43,181
Okay. We have doubles
on Cal's pants, right?
524
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,700
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
525
00:19:49,947 --> 00:19:52,742
I'm sorry that Joel turned out
to be such a depressing pervert.
526
00:19:52,743 --> 00:19:54,399
I mean, I quite liked it,
527
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:56,953
but I know that you were looking
for a more normal,
528
00:19:56,954 --> 00:19:58,645
less sexual friend.
529
00:19:59,128 --> 00:20:00,405
Yeah.
530
00:20:00,406 --> 00:20:02,061
Maybe humans
are such depressing,
531
00:20:02,062 --> 00:20:04,236
weird freaks because, you know,
532
00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:05,789
they try so hard to be normal
533
00:20:05,790 --> 00:20:07,964
that they repress
all their most horny desires.
534
00:20:07,965 --> 00:20:10,760
And then they just end up
squirting themselves to death.
535
00:20:10,761 --> 00:20:13,935
Well, wise words.
Maybe you're a Carrie after all.
536
00:20:13,936 --> 00:20:15,558
Lock it up. Hold there, please.
537
00:20:15,559 --> 00:20:17,768
I'm so sorry, but no.
538
00:20:19,494 --> 00:20:20,598
[scoffs]
539
00:20:21,841 --> 00:20:23,945
The hat? Oh, yeah,
that's from season 6.
540
00:20:23,946 --> 00:20:25,740
We shot them back-to-back.
541
00:20:25,741 --> 00:20:27,535
- What the fuck
are you doing in--
- [Laszlo] Oh.
542
00:20:27,536 --> 00:20:29,917
That gear is for crew only.
543
00:20:29,918 --> 00:20:32,540
Hmm.
Someone's jealous of my swag.
544
00:20:32,541 --> 00:20:33,610
Perhaps.
545
00:20:33,611 --> 00:20:35,129
But there is one garment
546
00:20:35,130 --> 00:20:37,443
that I know you will
never get your hands on.
547
00:20:37,926 --> 00:20:40,445
Nandor, give me
that sweated shirt!
548
00:20:40,446 --> 00:20:41,618
You shall never have it!
549
00:20:41,619 --> 00:20:42,689
[both grunting, groaning]
550
00:20:44,450 --> 00:20:46,762
- Laszlo, get a grip.
- Good idea.
551
00:20:48,488 --> 00:20:49,524
[Nandor] No!
552
00:20:50,835 --> 00:20:53,182
- [Nandor] You're stretching it!
- Wouldn't be the first time.
553
00:20:55,806 --> 00:20:56,841
Time-out, time-out.
554
00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,983
[sighs] What are we doing?
555
00:21:01,708 --> 00:21:05,159
Chewed up and spat out
in true Hollywood style.
556
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:08,438
We need to rain hellfire
on these Hollywood pricks.
557
00:21:08,439 --> 00:21:10,095
Drink the blood of the director.
558
00:21:10,096 --> 00:21:12,477
Crush the balls of the best boy.
559
00:21:12,478 --> 00:21:14,790
And whack all of the actors.
560
00:21:15,481 --> 00:21:17,172
Yeah, let's do it.
561
00:21:18,346 --> 00:21:19,691
Hey, you guys are still here?
562
00:21:19,692 --> 00:21:21,383
We wrapped, like,
half an hour ago.
563
00:21:22,729 --> 00:21:23,799
Happy trails, guys.
564
00:21:25,353 --> 00:21:28,977
- We did it. We fucking did it.
- [chuckles]
565
00:21:29,391 --> 00:21:31,289
Well done, Nandor.
566
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,325
You know, sometimes
the best tactic in war
567
00:21:33,326 --> 00:21:35,431
is to not fight at all.
568
00:21:35,432 --> 00:21:37,399
You sound just like a writer.
569
00:21:40,195 --> 00:21:41,506
- [Laszlo] Onward!
- [Nandor] Yeah.
570
00:21:41,507 --> 00:21:44,025
Meanwhile,
while Laszlo and Nandor
571
00:21:44,026 --> 00:21:46,476
called wrap on their beef,
572
00:21:46,477 --> 00:21:49,617
I couldn't help but wonder,
if we stopped saying cut
573
00:21:49,618 --> 00:21:51,205
The Cal mobile.
574
00:21:51,206 --> 00:21:53,552
[Colin] would we all get
a little more action?
575
00:21:53,553 --> 00:21:55,347
Hi, Mr. Bodian.
I'm just a huge fan.
576
00:21:55,348 --> 00:21:57,315
I wanted to know if I can
take a picture with you quickly?
577
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,075
Now is not a great time.
It's not a good time.
578
00:21:59,076 --> 00:22:00,456
It's just for my zine, actually.
579
00:22:00,457 --> 00:22:02,009
- Have you read this?
- [Laszlo] Hey!
580
00:22:02,010 --> 00:22:03,321
[Colin] Maybe if we
could ask our friends
581
00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:05,392
for just
a little more quiet on set
582
00:22:05,393 --> 00:22:06,979
Sign his program, you fucklord.
583
00:22:06,980 --> 00:22:08,705
[Colin] we'd end up
with a lot less drama.
584
00:22:08,706 --> 00:22:10,362
You know who the fuck I am?
585
00:22:10,363 --> 00:22:11,881
You think it's not gonna be
a problem for you?
586
00:22:11,882 --> 00:22:13,365
Here we go!
587
00:22:13,366 --> 00:22:14,573
[Colin] Because even for
the biggest stars,
588
00:22:14,574 --> 00:22:16,368
it's important
to stay grounded.
589
00:22:16,369 --> 00:22:17,714
[Bodian grunts]
590
00:22:17,715 --> 00:22:19,614
[Colin] And that's
when I realized
591
00:22:20,269 --> 00:22:24,377
it wasn't PIUNY
or show business,
592
00:22:25,413 --> 00:22:28,863
or even Staten Island
that kept us all together--
593
00:22:28,864 --> 00:22:30,314
[Monster] Colin Robinson.
594
00:22:31,591 --> 00:22:33,386
Shut fuck up.
595
00:22:36,424 --> 00:22:37,425
Oh, file saved.
596
00:22:50,265 --> 00:22:52,404
There he is.
That's the street right here.
597
00:22:52,405 --> 00:22:53,854
That's where they shoot
[chuckles]
598
00:22:53,855 --> 00:22:54,889
[detective]
Took your time, Mancuso.
599
00:22:54,890 --> 00:22:56,616
[Mancuso] This looks bad.
600
00:22:57,099 --> 00:22:59,274
Bad? We just found
six more inside.
601
00:22:59,792 --> 00:23:02,346
- [Guillermo giggles]
- Son of a bitch. The Mob.
602
00:23:03,485 --> 00:23:04,555
[Guillermo] What the hell?
603
00:23:05,832 --> 00:23:07,765
[Mancuso] I guess I know
where I'm going next.
604
00:23:08,456 --> 00:23:09,904
- [detective] Where's that?
- Was that--
605
00:23:09,905 --> 00:23:11,804
- [Mancuso] Undercover.
- Never mind.