1 00:00:01,234 --> 00:00:03,472 -♪ ♪ -(audience clapping) 2 00:00:06,812 --> 00:00:08,181 NADJA: Business is 3 00:00:08,215 --> 00:00:10,252 booming at the nightclub, baby! 4 00:00:10,285 --> 00:00:11,622 Cheers. 5 00:00:11,655 --> 00:00:12,991 ♪ Let's face the music ♪ 6 00:00:13,025 --> 00:00:14,962 ♪ And dance... ♪ 7 00:00:14,995 --> 00:00:16,732 NADJA: That little tap-dancing freak that clawed 8 00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:18,068 its way out of the abdominal cavity 9 00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:19,571 of dead Colin Robinson 10 00:00:19,605 --> 00:00:21,174 is causing such a buzz. 11 00:00:21,207 --> 00:00:24,748 We are pulling in capacity crowds of vampires 12 00:00:24,782 --> 00:00:26,685 and humans night after night. 13 00:00:26,719 --> 00:00:28,623 The only real problem, apart from 14 00:00:28,656 --> 00:00:30,694 the blood sprinklers clogging yet again, 15 00:00:30,727 --> 00:00:32,564 is the fucking employees. 16 00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:34,133 How many of our patrons have died 17 00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:36,906 in wraith-related accidents in the last week alone? 18 00:00:36,939 --> 00:00:39,010 -Five. -What? Five?! 19 00:00:39,043 --> 00:00:40,279 (grunts) 20 00:00:41,682 --> 00:00:42,951 (screaming) 21 00:00:42,984 --> 00:00:44,555 But, you know, four of them were human. 22 00:00:44,588 --> 00:00:46,659 Yeah, okay, that's not so bad then. 23 00:00:46,692 --> 00:00:49,230 But still, what is going on with these wraiths? 24 00:00:49,263 --> 00:00:52,103 Maybe they are having issues with how 25 00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:53,740 they're being treated. 26 00:00:53,773 --> 00:00:55,142 I gave them jobs. I'd say that's 27 00:00:55,175 --> 00:00:57,581 -pretty bloody good treatment. -Yes, but you do 28 00:00:57,614 --> 00:00:59,618 make them sleep in the supply closet. 29 00:00:59,651 --> 00:01:01,087 Well, it is better than sleeping in the street. 30 00:01:01,121 --> 00:01:03,258 You can remind them of that. 31 00:01:03,291 --> 00:01:05,062 Maybe if you just listened to them 32 00:01:05,095 --> 00:01:08,101 and heard them out-- their concerns, you know, and... 33 00:01:08,135 --> 00:01:10,272 Hold it, hold it. 34 00:01:10,305 --> 00:01:11,909 Are they intentionally underperforming 35 00:01:11,942 --> 00:01:13,345 in order to get their way? 36 00:01:13,378 --> 00:01:14,848 You know, it does seem like they've organized 37 00:01:14,882 --> 00:01:16,652 some sort of labor action. 38 00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:19,691 -This I know how to handle. -Ah. 39 00:01:19,725 --> 00:01:21,762 Kill them all. 40 00:01:21,796 --> 00:01:23,900 ("You're Dead" by Norma Tanega playing) 41 00:01:23,933 --> 00:01:26,304 ♪ Don't sing if you want to live long ♪ 42 00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:28,910 ♪ They have no use for your song ♪ 43 00:01:28,943 --> 00:01:31,649 ♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead ♪ 44 00:01:31,682 --> 00:01:34,588 ♪ You're dead and out of this world ♪ 45 00:01:36,024 --> 00:01:39,030 ♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone ♪ 46 00:01:39,063 --> 00:01:41,836 ♪ You sold out your dream to the world ♪ 47 00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:44,107 ♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead ♪ 48 00:01:44,140 --> 00:01:46,846 ♪ You're dead and out of this world. ♪ 49 00:01:46,879 --> 00:01:48,649 ♪ ♪ 50 00:01:57,734 --> 00:02:00,239 ♪ One, two, three, four. ♪ 51 00:02:00,272 --> 00:02:04,046 ♪ There may be trouble ahead ♪ 52 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,417 -Come on. -♪ But while there's music ♪ 53 00:02:06,451 --> 00:02:08,756 ♪ And moonlight and... ♪ 54 00:02:08,789 --> 00:02:11,361 Uh, I-I forgot the words, Lazlo. (laughs) 55 00:02:11,394 --> 00:02:13,031 What is this tomfoolery? 56 00:02:13,064 --> 00:02:15,637 This is a rehearsal for you, not for me. 57 00:02:15,670 --> 00:02:16,772 But, Lazzo, guess what? 58 00:02:16,806 --> 00:02:18,275 -You're tired. -I'm tired. 59 00:02:18,308 --> 00:02:20,279 I-I'm at a really good part of my book and I... 60 00:02:20,312 --> 00:02:22,016 Not the fucking book again. Give it to me. 61 00:02:22,049 --> 00:02:23,218 I-I don't have it. 62 00:02:23,251 --> 00:02:24,955 -Yes, you do, boy. -(sighs) 63 00:02:24,988 --> 00:02:26,892 You've tucked it in the back of your trouser. 64 00:02:26,926 --> 00:02:28,930 -Give it to me. -Fine. 65 00:02:28,963 --> 00:02:31,434 Fairy tales? This is bullshit. 66 00:02:31,467 --> 00:02:34,006 And highly inaccurate. "Little Red Riding Hood"? 67 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:35,810 You know, that's a tale about a gruesome, 68 00:02:35,844 --> 00:02:37,814 unsolved child abduction. 69 00:02:37,848 --> 00:02:39,250 That's not true. I don't believe you. 70 00:02:39,283 --> 00:02:40,787 Really? You're an expert, are you? 71 00:02:40,820 --> 00:02:43,024 What about this one, "Rumpelstiltskin"? 72 00:02:43,058 --> 00:02:44,928 "Rumpled dick skin," more like. 73 00:02:44,962 --> 00:02:46,832 You know that's how he got his name, this chap? 74 00:02:46,866 --> 00:02:49,771 -Doesn't say that in the book. -What's "dick skin"? 75 00:02:49,805 --> 00:02:51,876 What is dick skin? That's a bloody good question. 76 00:02:51,909 --> 00:02:54,146 And not one that you should be asking. 77 00:02:54,180 --> 00:02:56,251 Let's get on with the last song. 78 00:02:56,284 --> 00:02:59,156 So you will be meeting with Xerxes. 79 00:02:59,190 --> 00:03:02,129 Okay? He's the one that they've elected leader. 80 00:03:02,162 --> 00:03:03,866 -Oh! -And here he is. May I present Xerxes. 81 00:03:03,900 --> 00:03:06,271 Hello, X... rexes. 82 00:03:06,304 --> 00:03:09,076 Xerxes, why don't you start? 83 00:03:09,110 --> 00:03:11,949 He says, "Thank you for taking the time 84 00:03:11,982 --> 00:03:13,819 to work through these issues." 85 00:03:13,853 --> 00:03:15,188 Very good. Oh. 86 00:03:15,222 --> 00:03:18,161 "We have a list of demands to be addressed." 87 00:03:18,195 --> 00:03:20,867 -Fine. -"Number one. 88 00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:23,238 "We require more than one break 89 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:25,075 "a day so that we may haunt 90 00:03:25,108 --> 00:03:27,079 the descendants of our transgressors." 91 00:03:27,112 --> 00:03:29,350 We would all like to have more time for our hobbies. 92 00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:31,956 (clears throat) "Number two. 93 00:03:31,989 --> 00:03:35,062 "We will not be blamed for all phantom smells at work. 94 00:03:35,095 --> 00:03:38,235 "This is an old building with old pipes, and the smells 95 00:03:38,268 --> 00:03:40,506 emanating therefrom are out of our control." 96 00:03:40,540 --> 00:03:42,142 Okay! Enough! 97 00:03:42,176 --> 00:03:44,881 I have given you and your weird faceless friends 98 00:03:44,915 --> 00:03:47,520 a job and a lovely, warm supply closet to sleep in. 99 00:03:47,554 --> 00:03:50,459 Without me, you would have nothing. 100 00:03:50,493 --> 00:03:51,996 Goodbye. Gamísou. 101 00:03:52,029 --> 00:03:54,433 I don't have time for this skatá. (hisses) 102 00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:57,874 Mm. "That went well." 103 00:03:57,908 --> 00:03:59,845 Think that's supposed to be a joke. 104 00:03:59,878 --> 00:04:02,283 Wraiths aren't really known for their sense of humor. 105 00:04:02,316 --> 00:04:05,957 -(muttering) -"'Twas upon the fourth year of the Nine Years' War 106 00:04:05,990 --> 00:04:08,863 "that the battles of Barfleur and La Hogue 107 00:04:08,896 --> 00:04:10,500 tested the will of His Majesty's fleet..." 108 00:04:10,533 --> 00:04:12,504 Can we please read one of my books? 109 00:04:12,537 --> 00:04:14,006 -Absolutely not. -Please? 110 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:15,944 Real books about real people 111 00:04:15,977 --> 00:04:17,547 concerning real things that happened. 112 00:04:17,580 --> 00:04:20,085 Oh, Laszlo, just read him some of that baby bullshit 113 00:04:20,118 --> 00:04:21,822 -he likes so much. -Yeah, maybe the one 114 00:04:21,855 --> 00:04:23,559 about the elves and the shoemaker. 115 00:04:23,593 --> 00:04:25,295 All right. I'll tell you the real story. 116 00:04:25,329 --> 00:04:28,034 Some third-rate cobbler ripped to the tits 117 00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:31,307 on formaldehyde fumes used in his leather tanning process 118 00:04:31,341 --> 00:04:34,146 imagines he's seeing little elves do all his work. 119 00:04:34,180 --> 00:04:35,850 Loses his business, kills himself. 120 00:04:35,883 --> 00:04:36,952 The end. 121 00:04:36,986 --> 00:04:38,923 (gasps) Aha! Yes! 122 00:04:38,956 --> 00:04:40,960 This will do very nicely. 123 00:04:40,994 --> 00:04:44,166 Everyone! We're going to the night market! 124 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:47,039 A night market actually exists in every single town. 125 00:04:47,072 --> 00:04:50,445 But it is always hidden from the prying, pathetic eyes of humans. 126 00:04:50,479 --> 00:04:52,917 NANDOR: The night market is a bit like 127 00:04:52,951 --> 00:04:55,222 the famous Italian street fairs 128 00:04:55,255 --> 00:04:56,424 of Little Italy. 129 00:04:56,457 --> 00:04:58,061 Very diverse. 130 00:04:58,094 --> 00:05:00,500 Lots of different cultures represented. 131 00:05:00,533 --> 00:05:02,236 Sticky shit all over the ground. 132 00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:06,512 And a good place to pillage or barter tchotchkes. 133 00:05:06,545 --> 00:05:09,383 It is truly the only place where we can set aside our differences 134 00:05:09,417 --> 00:05:11,321 and work towards a common goal: 135 00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:14,293 to fuck the other guy before he fucks you! (laughs) 136 00:05:14,327 --> 00:05:16,431 -It's just a work thing. I'll call you after. I love... -MAN: Okay. 137 00:05:16,464 --> 00:05:19,303 What do you require from the night market, my darling? 138 00:05:19,337 --> 00:05:21,407 Oh, you know, just a special little something 139 00:05:21,441 --> 00:05:23,512 to help try and solve my wraith labor problem. 140 00:05:23,546 --> 00:05:25,315 Will it be safe for someone like me to go? 141 00:05:25,349 --> 00:05:27,386 -Meaning as a human? -I don't care. 142 00:05:27,419 --> 00:05:29,090 -Yeah, do not worry, Guillermo. -NADJA: Hurry up. 143 00:05:29,123 --> 00:05:31,327 If anyone asks, just say you're an orc or some shit. 144 00:05:31,361 --> 00:05:33,098 Well, I don't look like an orc. 145 00:05:34,066 --> 00:05:35,302 -Do I? -Mm. 146 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,607 You could pass. 147 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:40,278 I am very excited for this trip as well. 148 00:05:40,312 --> 00:05:41,882 Even though we live in the same house, 149 00:05:41,915 --> 00:05:44,353 it's so rare that Nandor asks me along 150 00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:46,625 when he has an outing with his friends, so... 151 00:05:46,658 --> 00:05:49,430 You know what? I changed my mind. 152 00:05:49,463 --> 00:05:52,436 -Nice work. -I think I'd rather just stay home. 153 00:05:52,469 --> 00:05:56,578 Oh, no. Marwa, this is a big fat bummer I am hearing. 154 00:05:56,612 --> 00:05:57,914 But, okay, fine. I miss you already. 155 00:05:57,947 --> 00:05:59,918 -Bye. -Come on. 156 00:05:59,951 --> 00:06:01,955 NANDOR: Of course Marwa is my one true love. 157 00:06:01,989 --> 00:06:04,528 But she's always hanging around. 158 00:06:04,561 --> 00:06:08,435 Sometimes it's just more fun to hang with just the boys. 159 00:06:14,013 --> 00:06:15,516 (chiming) 160 00:06:15,550 --> 00:06:17,486 Yes. This is the one that goes to the night market. 161 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:19,457 -Come on. Come. -LASZLO: Come on, boy. -COLIN: I'm going. 162 00:06:19,491 --> 00:06:20,993 -Quickly, quickly. -Are you sure about this? This looks like 163 00:06:21,027 --> 00:06:23,398 a regular train full of normal people. 164 00:06:23,431 --> 00:06:25,536 How dare you question me. (spits) 165 00:06:25,570 --> 00:06:28,108 (man coughs) 166 00:06:28,141 --> 00:06:30,278 Ah. Attention, ladies and gentlemen! 167 00:06:30,312 --> 00:06:33,184 If I could just have a few moments of your time. 168 00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:35,523 I'm trying to raise money for my Uncle Jeffrey. 169 00:06:35,556 --> 00:06:36,658 He needs a new heart. 170 00:06:36,692 --> 00:06:39,296 So please enjoy this performance 171 00:06:39,330 --> 00:06:42,971 and know that anything you can give, anything, 172 00:06:43,004 --> 00:06:44,407 will help. 173 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:47,614 ("Pennsylvania 6-5000" playing) 174 00:06:47,647 --> 00:06:50,452 ♪ ♪ 175 00:06:54,661 --> 00:06:56,632 (farting rhythmically) 176 00:06:56,665 --> 00:06:58,334 -COLIN: Oh, wow. -(passengers groaning) 177 00:06:59,704 --> 00:07:02,242 (chiming) 178 00:07:02,276 --> 00:07:04,948 -(people muttering, groaning) -WOMAN: Disgusting. 179 00:07:04,981 --> 00:07:07,352 (music continues) 180 00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:10,192 (farting rhythmically) 181 00:07:11,461 --> 00:07:13,031 -That is dynamite. -(music stops) 182 00:07:13,064 --> 00:07:14,467 All right! 183 00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:16,237 If you're still here, you know why you're here. 184 00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:18,208 Next stop, the night market. 185 00:07:18,241 --> 00:07:20,479 -NADJA: Told you. -COLIN: He was fantastic. -NANDOR: Well done. 186 00:07:20,513 --> 00:07:22,449 -Are you still doing requests? -PERFORMER: Not for a couple hours. 187 00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:25,288 -NADJA: Ah. -Ooh. Looks pretty busy. 188 00:07:26,257 --> 00:07:27,392 Okay. Everyone. 189 00:07:27,426 --> 00:07:28,629 Come on, boy. Don't get lost. 190 00:07:28,662 --> 00:07:30,500 -NADJA: Come on. -Exciting. 191 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,169 Night market awaits. 192 00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:34,975 COLIN: Holy cow. Look at all of this. 193 00:07:35,008 --> 00:07:38,114 -This is pretty cool. -NANDOR: Put that down. They're overpriced. 194 00:07:38,148 --> 00:07:40,318 NADJA: Darling, maybe it's time to get you a new coffin. 195 00:07:40,352 --> 00:07:43,458 -LASZLO: No. -Put your kids in cages! 196 00:07:43,492 --> 00:07:44,728 Witches. 197 00:07:44,761 --> 00:07:46,464 Yes, how much for that one up there? 198 00:07:46,498 --> 00:07:48,502 -You don't need any more cages. -Shh! 199 00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:50,673 NADJA: While it is progressive that the night market 200 00:07:50,706 --> 00:07:53,612 is a safe space for all of demonkind, 201 00:07:53,646 --> 00:07:55,583 sadly, we have no one form of currency between us all, 202 00:07:55,616 --> 00:07:58,121 so we have to rely on the old ways. 203 00:07:58,154 --> 00:07:59,256 Stinks. Oh. 204 00:07:59,290 --> 00:08:01,194 AKA the bartering system. 205 00:08:01,227 --> 00:08:03,131 Lots of people usually end up dead. 206 00:08:03,164 --> 00:08:04,734 I say, do you have any historical books? 207 00:08:04,768 --> 00:08:06,270 MAN: I do, sir. 208 00:08:06,304 --> 00:08:07,507 NADJA: Luckily, I come from a long line 209 00:08:07,540 --> 00:08:09,544 of highly-skilled hagglers. 210 00:08:09,578 --> 00:08:11,414 My giagiá, she once traded just a little bit 211 00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:14,554 of her thigh meat for a whole bag of onions. 212 00:08:14,588 --> 00:08:17,594 So, yeah, I think I know what I'm doing. 213 00:08:17,627 --> 00:08:18,963 We're here. 214 00:08:21,033 --> 00:08:23,004 ♪ ♪ 215 00:08:23,037 --> 00:08:24,473 Hey, girlfriends! 216 00:08:24,508 --> 00:08:26,077 How's it hanging? 217 00:08:26,110 --> 00:08:27,747 -Ja. -Ja. 218 00:08:27,780 --> 00:08:30,218 NADJA: Valkyries are a group of maidens 219 00:08:30,252 --> 00:08:32,289 who were sent by the gods to the Viking battlefields 220 00:08:32,322 --> 00:08:34,393 so they could choose who amongst the slain 221 00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:36,765 they thought was worthy of a place in Valhalla. 222 00:08:36,798 --> 00:08:39,069 They are, um, interesting folk. 223 00:08:39,103 --> 00:08:40,673 Eh. They're quite... 224 00:08:40,706 --> 00:08:42,042 They've got zero banter. 225 00:08:42,075 --> 00:08:45,048 Absolutely no laughs whatsoever. 226 00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:48,054 Okay. (chuckles) 227 00:08:48,087 --> 00:08:50,793 Hold on to your huvudbonader, ladies, 228 00:08:50,826 --> 00:08:54,133 because I don't think you'll find this little tasty piece 229 00:08:54,166 --> 00:08:56,638 while antiquing in Connecticut. 230 00:08:56,672 --> 00:08:59,076 Note the cobalt blue glaze. 231 00:08:59,109 --> 00:09:01,080 The white base. 232 00:09:01,113 --> 00:09:02,517 And use of porcelain interior. 233 00:09:02,550 --> 00:09:03,752 -Ja. -Ja. 234 00:09:03,786 --> 00:09:05,690 NADJA: I literally 235 00:09:05,723 --> 00:09:09,129 just grabbed this from Nandor's room before I left the house. 236 00:09:09,163 --> 00:09:11,668 Now, what do your books tell you about fairies? 237 00:09:11,702 --> 00:09:15,576 Well, fairies are pretty little women that can fly around, 238 00:09:15,610 --> 00:09:17,145 and they live in mushrooms. 239 00:09:17,179 --> 00:09:18,481 Really? A likely story. 240 00:09:18,515 --> 00:09:19,751 What do we have here? 241 00:09:19,784 --> 00:09:21,588 A rancid pail of garbage. 242 00:09:21,622 --> 00:09:22,857 (coughing) 243 00:09:22,890 --> 00:09:24,527 (groans) Hello, my beauties. 244 00:09:24,561 --> 00:09:26,097 -Laszlo! -Laszlo! -You're looking... 245 00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:27,567 (coughs) healthy. 246 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:28,636 Yeah, we've been eating garbage. 247 00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:31,173 Yeah. Love to chat, but, uh... 248 00:09:31,207 --> 00:09:32,442 got things to do. 249 00:09:32,476 --> 00:09:34,681 Enjoy your pile of shit. 250 00:09:34,714 --> 00:09:37,319 -Fuck off. Close the lid. -Yeah, fucking close it. -Yeah, yeah, well, I am gonna. 251 00:09:37,352 --> 00:09:38,656 -I just said that, didn't I? -Stop talking. Fucking close the lid. 252 00:09:38,689 --> 00:09:40,526 Fucking... Whoa. 253 00:09:41,828 --> 00:09:43,164 Real fairies. 254 00:09:43,197 --> 00:09:45,435 Well, go on, then. 255 00:09:45,468 --> 00:09:47,105 -(chuckles) -They smelled like shit. 256 00:09:47,139 --> 00:09:48,642 -Oh, wicker baskets. I love these! -No. 257 00:09:48,676 --> 00:09:51,147 You don't need any more wicker bask... Oh! Sorry. 258 00:09:51,180 --> 00:09:55,121 (sniffs) What human dare mingle amongst us? 259 00:09:55,155 --> 00:09:57,326 -(growls) -Uh, I'm not a human. 260 00:09:57,359 --> 00:09:58,495 Um... 261 00:09:58,529 --> 00:09:59,497 I'm an orc. 262 00:09:59,531 --> 00:10:02,402 (sniffing) 263 00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,874 -My mistake. Have a good one. -Yeah. 264 00:10:04,908 --> 00:10:06,778 Thank you. 265 00:10:06,812 --> 00:10:08,882 Do I really look that much like an orc? 266 00:10:08,916 --> 00:10:10,653 (cheering, clamoring) -RINGMASTER: All right! 267 00:10:10,686 --> 00:10:12,590 Excellent. You will love this! 268 00:10:12,624 --> 00:10:14,694 -What, what is this? -This is the familiar fights! 269 00:10:14,728 --> 00:10:17,366 -Wait, what? -I haven't been to one of these in ages. 270 00:10:17,399 --> 00:10:19,470 RINGMASTER: And another sort of weak, 271 00:10:19,504 --> 00:10:21,307 flailing blow to the paunch. 272 00:10:21,340 --> 00:10:23,478 Neither of these two in any condition to be fighting. 273 00:10:23,512 --> 00:10:26,551 Basically, a vampire will say, "I have the toughest familiar." 274 00:10:26,585 --> 00:10:27,887 And then another vampire will be like, 275 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,924 "No, my familiar is even tougher." 276 00:10:29,958 --> 00:10:32,597 And then they get the familiars to fight each other, 277 00:10:32,630 --> 00:10:35,135 and whichever familiar kicks the shit out of the other familiar, 278 00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:36,470 he is the winner. 279 00:10:36,505 --> 00:10:37,840 That sounds absolutely terrible. 280 00:10:37,874 --> 00:10:39,310 VAMPIRE: Crush his bones! Yeah! 281 00:10:39,343 --> 00:10:40,513 RINGMASTER: Look at him go. 282 00:10:40,546 --> 00:10:42,617 That's got to not hurt that much. 283 00:10:42,650 --> 00:10:45,155 Oh, yeah. I think we should break the arm. 284 00:10:45,188 --> 00:10:46,525 Break his arm! 285 00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:47,927 -GUILLERMO: Don't break his arm. -RINGMASTER: Oh! 286 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:49,229 NANDOR: That's nothing. In the old days, 287 00:10:49,263 --> 00:10:51,233 they used to tear the head off. 288 00:10:51,267 --> 00:10:53,438 What are we thinking, folks? Should we do the head? 289 00:10:53,471 --> 00:10:55,543 -Oh, great, they're still doing that. Yes! -Oh, no. 290 00:10:55,576 --> 00:10:57,412 -No, shouldn't do the head. -ALL (chanting): Head! Head! Head! Head! 291 00:10:57,446 --> 00:11:00,418 Head! Head! Head! Head! Head! Head! 292 00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:01,855 Head! Head! Head! 293 00:11:01,888 --> 00:11:04,794 Head! Head! Head! Head! Head! Head! Head... 294 00:11:04,828 --> 00:11:06,263 I think I want to do the head. 295 00:11:06,297 --> 00:11:07,800 -Yay! -Head! Head! Head! Head! 296 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:10,806 (cheering, clamoring) 297 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:12,643 Give it up for our new familiar 298 00:11:12,677 --> 00:11:14,681 champion, this piece of shit right here. 299 00:11:14,714 --> 00:11:16,651 How are you supporting this? It's so wrong in so many ways. 300 00:11:16,685 --> 00:11:18,287 You're right, it is. 301 00:11:18,321 --> 00:11:20,291 'Cause you could take any of these guys. 302 00:11:20,325 --> 00:11:22,229 -That's besides the point. -WARLOCK: Hey! 303 00:11:22,262 --> 00:11:24,601 This vampire here thinks that his familiar 304 00:11:24,634 --> 00:11:26,671 can beat any of our familiars! 305 00:11:26,705 --> 00:11:29,276 (laughter, clamoring) 306 00:11:29,309 --> 00:11:30,746 -Prove it! -Take off that tailcoat. 307 00:11:30,780 --> 00:11:32,517 -Yes, okay, let's do it, come on. -No. 308 00:11:32,550 --> 00:11:33,886 I'm not gonna do it. I'm not doing it. 309 00:11:33,919 --> 00:11:35,556 -Come on, let's do it. -I'm not... 310 00:11:35,589 --> 00:11:37,493 -doing it. -Right. 311 00:11:37,527 --> 00:11:38,829 Uh, no, no. 312 00:11:38,862 --> 00:11:41,300 My familiar will not be fighting tonight. 313 00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:42,870 (crowd booing) 314 00:11:42,904 --> 00:11:44,641 Boring! 315 00:11:44,674 --> 00:11:47,513 Why? Is the little guy scared? 316 00:11:47,547 --> 00:11:49,918 -No! -No, Master... 317 00:11:49,951 --> 00:11:51,822 the only thing my familiar is scared of 318 00:11:51,855 --> 00:11:53,892 is beating all of your familiars 319 00:11:53,926 --> 00:11:57,466 all at once, 'cause that's how tough my familiar is. 320 00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:58,802 -(laughter) -VAMPIRE: Keep dreaming! 321 00:11:58,836 --> 00:11:59,838 RINGMASTER: Oh, them's fighting words. 322 00:11:59,871 --> 00:12:01,373 Why did you say that? 323 00:12:01,407 --> 00:12:02,610 They insulted you, Guillermo. 324 00:12:02,643 --> 00:12:04,748 And insulting you is insulting me. 325 00:12:04,781 --> 00:12:06,484 It is a matter of honor now. 326 00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:08,287 -Okay, he wants in! -RINGMASTER: He wants in! Oh! 327 00:12:08,321 --> 00:12:09,758 -He's gonna get it! -(cheering, clamoring) 328 00:12:09,791 --> 00:12:10,893 NANDOR: You're gonna get it. 329 00:12:10,926 --> 00:12:12,830 What's your name, little buddy? 330 00:12:12,864 --> 00:12:14,701 -No one gives a shit. (laughs) Let's fight. -(cheering) 331 00:12:22,449 --> 00:12:23,752 NADJA: So, my trading is going very well. 332 00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:25,355 To the Valkyries I gave 333 00:12:25,388 --> 00:12:26,958 the vase, and then they gave me 334 00:12:26,992 --> 00:12:28,829 their rarest delicacy-- 335 00:12:28,862 --> 00:12:30,900 the little meatballs in the brown water. 336 00:12:30,933 --> 00:12:34,006 I don't know why Valkyries sell meatballs 337 00:12:34,039 --> 00:12:36,477 and furniture, but I'm not going to criticize 338 00:12:36,511 --> 00:12:38,047 the ways of other cultures. 339 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:39,316 The little tiny meatballs, 340 00:12:39,349 --> 00:12:40,553 I traded with the Imps, 341 00:12:40,586 --> 00:12:42,623 'cause the Imps love tiny foods. 342 00:12:42,657 --> 00:12:44,794 Thanks, guys. 343 00:12:44,828 --> 00:12:46,464 It's a comedy T-shirt! 344 00:12:46,498 --> 00:12:48,869 I just know that there's going to be someone 345 00:12:48,902 --> 00:12:50,906 who very much wants to trade for this. 346 00:12:50,940 --> 00:12:52,442 NANDOR: You got this, Guillermo! 347 00:12:52,476 --> 00:12:53,679 (shouting, clamoring) 348 00:12:53,712 --> 00:12:55,950 Just hit him! Just hit him! 349 00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:58,589 RINGMASTER: That's got to be the Dodge of the Night-- Dodge of the Night, 350 00:12:58,622 --> 00:13:00,458 brought to you by Dodge Ram trucks. 351 00:13:00,493 --> 00:13:02,429 Check out the new 2022 Ram Pickup at your local... 352 00:13:02,462 --> 00:13:03,899 Look, I don't want to hurt you, okay? 353 00:13:03,932 --> 00:13:05,468 NANDOR: Don't run away from him! 354 00:13:05,503 --> 00:13:07,005 Hit him! 355 00:13:07,038 --> 00:13:08,542 RINGMASTER: Whoa! 356 00:13:08,575 --> 00:13:10,078 That little fucker can move. 357 00:13:10,111 --> 00:13:11,848 Sorry. Are you okay? 358 00:13:11,882 --> 00:13:13,785 -That's my fucking guy! -I didn't touch him. 359 00:13:13,819 --> 00:13:15,321 He did it to himself, okay? 360 00:13:15,355 --> 00:13:16,791 Zero blows taken, zero landed. 361 00:13:16,825 --> 00:13:18,562 They can't all be bloodbaths, folks. 362 00:13:18,595 --> 00:13:21,033 But we have ourselves 363 00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:23,639 -a new winner-- this guy! -(crowd booing) -NANDOR: Yes! Suck it! 364 00:13:23,672 --> 00:13:25,576 -Suck it! -RINGMASTER: Let's have 365 00:13:25,609 --> 00:13:27,312 another fight. Hopefully he dies. 366 00:13:28,447 --> 00:13:30,018 (indistinct chatter) 367 00:13:30,051 --> 00:13:32,455 LASZLO: Now, my point is, sometimes 368 00:13:32,489 --> 00:13:34,761 grownups lie to children when the truth 369 00:13:34,794 --> 00:13:36,765 is too horrifying for them. 370 00:13:36,798 --> 00:13:39,336 -For instance, that Pinocchio there. -Whoa. 371 00:13:39,369 --> 00:13:41,842 LASZLO: See his nose-- don't stare-- it's just a medical condition. 372 00:13:41,875 --> 00:13:43,846 -It's got bugger all to do with lying. -Oh. 373 00:13:43,879 --> 00:13:46,585 -And as far as I know, he was never a puppet. -Okay. 374 00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:48,956 -Behind us, see those garden gnomes? -Yeah. 375 00:13:48,989 --> 00:13:51,628 -Well, they're real. Think they look happy? -COLIN: I guess. 376 00:13:51,661 --> 00:13:53,464 They're not. They're shit scared. 377 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:56,003 -You stare at them, they freeze. -That's sad. 378 00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:58,407 And sometimes grownups lie to children 379 00:13:58,441 --> 00:14:00,579 -'cause the truth is just so boring. -Okay. 380 00:14:00,613 --> 00:14:03,552 -Now, you've read The Emperor's New Clothes, right? -Uh-huh. 381 00:14:03,585 --> 00:14:04,988 Well, here's one now. 382 00:14:05,021 --> 00:14:06,892 So, he's just a common German nudist. 383 00:14:06,925 --> 00:14:09,697 And behind him is a witch. 384 00:14:09,731 --> 00:14:11,968 They're very real, and one day, they'll fight 385 00:14:12,002 --> 00:14:13,805 -to get hold of your semen. -Oh. 386 00:14:13,839 --> 00:14:16,143 -But not in a fun way. -What's semen? 387 00:14:16,176 --> 00:14:17,847 (shouting, clamoring) 388 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:20,653 Hit him! Hit him! 389 00:14:20,686 --> 00:14:22,557 -I'm not gonna hit him, okay? -(whistling, clamoring) 390 00:14:22,590 --> 00:14:24,661 Okay, that was really close to my face. 391 00:14:24,694 --> 00:14:26,865 Come on, don't play with our food. 392 00:14:26,898 --> 00:14:28,835 For me, just him just once! 393 00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:32,442 And another high-flying capoeira kick that does nothing. 394 00:14:32,475 --> 00:14:33,845 Look, we don't have to do this, okay? 395 00:14:33,879 --> 00:14:35,749 We're both familiars. 396 00:14:35,783 --> 00:14:37,452 -So why don't we just sha... -RINGMASTER: Smoke in the face. 397 00:14:37,485 --> 00:14:38,922 -That's got to hurt. -Don't let him do that, hey! 398 00:14:38,956 --> 00:14:41,528 Whoa! Oh! What the... 399 00:14:41,561 --> 00:14:44,032 I'm just trying to talk to you like a regular person. 400 00:14:44,066 --> 00:14:46,504 You're being kind of a fucking dick, okay? 401 00:14:46,538 --> 00:14:48,474 -Yeah, now hit him! -Look, we don't have to do this. We're both human. 402 00:14:48,508 --> 00:14:50,879 -Come on! -Okay! Are you okay?! 403 00:14:50,913 --> 00:14:52,850 You're dead! Finish him! Hit him! 404 00:14:52,883 --> 00:14:54,887 Now it seems like the hot one's running out of steam. 405 00:14:54,921 --> 00:14:56,591 Are you okay? 406 00:14:56,625 --> 00:14:58,194 Stop talking to him and just hit him, Guillermo! 407 00:14:58,227 --> 00:15:00,098 You know, nowadays there's really no reason to smoke. 408 00:15:00,131 --> 00:15:01,968 NANDOR: He's going down! Hit him! 409 00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,471 RINGMASTER: Now our familiar's having an asthma attack. 410 00:15:03,505 --> 00:15:05,509 -Is there a doctor? -Ay... 411 00:15:05,542 --> 00:15:07,479 -Is someone a doctor? Somebody? -(shouting, jeering) 412 00:15:07,513 --> 00:15:08,481 We're not hurting anyone to... 413 00:15:08,515 --> 00:15:10,151 Aw, fuck. 414 00:15:10,184 --> 00:15:11,688 And we have ourselves a winner again. 415 00:15:11,721 --> 00:15:12,924 NANDOR: Suck it! 416 00:15:12,957 --> 00:15:14,192 -You suck it! You suck it! -Yay. 417 00:15:14,226 --> 00:15:16,531 He won again. Yay. 418 00:15:16,564 --> 00:15:18,067 It's this way. 419 00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:20,806 So, the night market kind of goes on forever. 420 00:15:20,839 --> 00:15:22,677 -Afternoon. -(low growling) 421 00:15:22,710 --> 00:15:25,849 It's sort of infinite and it has dark, dirtier sides. 422 00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:27,452 Bit like me. 423 00:15:27,485 --> 00:15:30,024 Nice place. 424 00:15:30,058 --> 00:15:32,797 Just gonna take a little look around or whatever. 425 00:15:32,830 --> 00:15:35,468 Small skull, nice. 426 00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:37,640 (clears her throat) 427 00:15:37,673 --> 00:15:39,443 (squeaking) 428 00:15:39,476 --> 00:15:41,581 You got some nice stuff. 429 00:15:41,615 --> 00:15:44,152 Not what I'm looking for, though. 430 00:15:44,186 --> 00:15:46,758 I think what I'm looking for... 431 00:15:46,791 --> 00:15:50,465 might be something that you might put under the counter. 432 00:15:50,499 --> 00:15:52,703 How do I know you're not with some form 433 00:15:52,737 --> 00:15:54,841 of law enforcement? 434 00:15:54,874 --> 00:15:57,145 Hey! Fuck you, man. 435 00:15:57,178 --> 00:15:59,717 Would a cop have this? 436 00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:02,489 A piece of clothing with a very misogynistic joke 437 00:16:02,523 --> 00:16:04,459 that makes a complete mockery 438 00:16:04,494 --> 00:16:06,798 of common traffic safety laws. 439 00:16:06,831 --> 00:16:08,067 (imitates explosion) 440 00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:10,873 (mouthing) 441 00:16:10,906 --> 00:16:12,977 (laughing) 442 00:16:13,010 --> 00:16:15,783 -Huh? Huh? -The bitch fell off. 443 00:16:15,816 --> 00:16:17,820 I think even my bitch would get a kick out of that. 444 00:16:17,853 --> 00:16:19,089 Yeah, she would. 445 00:16:19,122 --> 00:16:21,594 All right, you give me that shirt, 446 00:16:21,628 --> 00:16:23,598 I got what you're looking for. 447 00:16:23,632 --> 00:16:25,168 -I need eyes on it. -All right. 448 00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:26,671 Keep your knickers on. 449 00:16:26,705 --> 00:16:28,140 Let me have a look down here. 450 00:16:28,174 --> 00:16:29,544 Here we go. 451 00:16:29,577 --> 00:16:31,581 I think, uh, this 452 00:16:31,614 --> 00:16:33,217 is up your alley. 453 00:16:33,250 --> 00:16:35,756 We have a deal! Take the stupid shirt. 454 00:16:35,789 --> 00:16:37,158 -Yes! -RINGMASTER: We got a winner. 455 00:16:37,192 --> 00:16:38,695 He stole her glasses and she couldn't see. 456 00:16:38,729 --> 00:16:40,264 -Boring. -(crowd jeering) 457 00:16:40,298 --> 00:16:41,901 Give me my glasses back. 458 00:16:41,935 --> 00:16:45,576 I'm gonna give your glasses to your master. 459 00:16:45,609 --> 00:16:48,648 -Lot of jawboning going on. -Okay? 460 00:16:48,682 --> 00:16:50,919 Here you go. It was nice meeting you, okay? 461 00:16:50,953 --> 00:16:53,759 ...a little less hot air, but I present to you 462 00:16:53,792 --> 00:16:57,032 our new familiar champion, this guy right here. 463 00:16:57,065 --> 00:16:59,302 Never caught his name, never caught his name. 464 00:16:59,336 --> 00:17:01,708 And as a reward, 465 00:17:01,741 --> 00:17:03,812 what we all know humans love most. 466 00:17:03,845 --> 00:17:05,682 Some dried-up dog food. 467 00:17:05,716 --> 00:17:07,052 They love that shit. 468 00:17:07,085 --> 00:17:09,256 They love it. And now 469 00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:12,095 -it is time for our main event. -Yes. 470 00:17:12,128 --> 00:17:15,034 -Our champion familiar versus... -Oh, come on. 471 00:17:15,068 --> 00:17:17,172 our champion vampire, 472 00:17:17,205 --> 00:17:19,042 Gorgo the Murderer! 473 00:17:19,076 --> 00:17:20,946 -(cheering, clamoring) -Look at him! 474 00:17:20,979 --> 00:17:22,983 I'm gonna murder you so fucking hard. 475 00:17:23,017 --> 00:17:25,723 -RINGMASTER: Undefeated when it comes to murder. -Aah! 476 00:17:25,756 --> 00:17:27,860 Give us one moment. 477 00:17:27,893 --> 00:17:29,931 Murder him! Murder him... 478 00:17:29,964 --> 00:17:31,601 You shouldn't fight this guy. 479 00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:33,070 This is a guy that's gonna rip your head clean off. 480 00:17:33,104 --> 00:17:35,041 Actually, he's not. He's a vampire. 481 00:17:35,074 --> 00:17:36,845 And, remember, I'm a vampire-killer. 482 00:17:36,878 --> 00:17:38,915 Oh, yes, I always forget that. 483 00:17:38,949 --> 00:17:40,586 Okay then, go kill him! Go kill him! 484 00:17:40,619 --> 00:17:41,588 Go kill him! Go! 485 00:17:41,621 --> 00:17:42,823 Just one second. 486 00:17:42,857 --> 00:17:44,226 NANDOR: Sorry, once second. What? 487 00:17:45,261 --> 00:17:47,298 What's gonna happen when a room full of vampires sees 488 00:17:47,332 --> 00:17:49,871 a familiar kill a vampire for the first time? 489 00:17:49,904 --> 00:17:51,708 Good point. Wait. 490 00:17:51,741 --> 00:17:53,177 I think I have an idea. 491 00:17:53,210 --> 00:17:55,716 -We leave? -No. 492 00:17:55,749 --> 00:17:59,791 Vampires! 493 00:17:59,824 --> 00:18:01,160 Can I just... Give me that. 494 00:18:01,193 --> 00:18:03,665 Vampires, a fight 495 00:18:03,698 --> 00:18:05,869 between this poor familiar... 496 00:18:05,903 --> 00:18:07,673 (cheering, clamoring) 497 00:18:07,706 --> 00:18:09,877 ...my closest companion for 13 years? 498 00:18:09,911 --> 00:18:11,948 -CROWD: Yeah! -Against this 499 00:18:11,981 --> 00:18:14,620 ruthless vampire? 500 00:18:14,654 --> 00:18:16,223 This is sick! This is... 501 00:18:16,256 --> 00:18:18,628 Sorry. Can I just... 502 00:18:18,662 --> 00:18:20,833 Thank you. This is... Not you. 503 00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:22,202 This is sick! 504 00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:24,039 But you know what would 505 00:18:24,072 --> 00:18:25,776 be even more sick? 506 00:18:25,809 --> 00:18:28,080 -CROWD: What? -A battle 507 00:18:28,114 --> 00:18:29,650 between him 508 00:18:29,684 --> 00:18:31,220 and me. 509 00:18:31,253 --> 00:18:32,823 (cheering, clamoring) 510 00:18:32,857 --> 00:18:34,259 Who wants to see me pulverize 511 00:18:34,292 --> 00:18:36,631 my closest companion of 13 years? 512 00:18:36,664 --> 00:18:38,768 -Yeah! -Who wants to see that? 513 00:18:38,802 --> 00:18:40,204 Kill your friend! 514 00:18:40,238 --> 00:18:43,912 Kill your friend! Kill your friend... 515 00:18:43,945 --> 00:18:46,216 Right! I'm going to kill my friend! 516 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,087 Kill your friend! Kill your friend! 517 00:18:53,164 --> 00:18:54,867 Oh, this isn't gonna take very long, ladies and germs. 518 00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:56,403 Kill my friend. 519 00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:58,842 Kill your friend-- that's what we all want to see. 520 00:18:58,875 --> 00:19:00,712 All right, here we go, baby! 521 00:19:00,746 --> 00:19:02,817 -Circling... -Kill your friend! Kill your friend... 522 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,722 -circling... -I'm not gonna hurt you, Guillermo. 523 00:19:05,756 --> 00:19:07,325 I'm just gonna take you out with one punch, 524 00:19:07,358 --> 00:19:08,995 and then carry your body away. 525 00:19:09,029 --> 00:19:10,799 Don't you think we should put on 526 00:19:10,833 --> 00:19:12,202 a little bit of a show for them, at least? 527 00:19:12,235 --> 00:19:14,239 It's implausible that it would take any longer 528 00:19:14,272 --> 00:19:16,410 than five seconds for me to beat you. 529 00:19:16,443 --> 00:19:19,382 Is it, though? I mean, remember last time? 530 00:19:19,416 --> 00:19:21,688 -(grunts) -Hey! 531 00:19:21,721 --> 00:19:24,125 Please, I let you win to teach you a lesson. 532 00:19:24,159 --> 00:19:26,831 And, anyway, you did cheat just a little bit. 533 00:19:26,865 --> 00:19:28,367 I didn't cheat. 534 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:29,737 You did just a little bit. 535 00:19:29,770 --> 00:19:31,173 I didn't have to. 536 00:19:31,206 --> 00:19:33,143 -RINGMASTER: Come on, this is boring! -Okay... 537 00:19:33,177 --> 00:19:35,348 little man, bring your best. 538 00:19:35,381 --> 00:19:37,686 (crowd cheering, clamoring) 539 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,792 RINGMASTER: Okay, looks like the little guy's voguing now. 540 00:19:40,826 --> 00:19:42,796 Whoa! 541 00:19:42,830 --> 00:19:45,268 We got stakes! We got stakes. 542 00:19:45,301 --> 00:19:47,372 -You cheeky little shit! -Oh, the stakes are high. 543 00:19:47,405 --> 00:19:50,779 -Come here! -Oh, we got ourselves a fight, ladies and gentlemen. 544 00:19:50,812 --> 00:19:53,317 We got ourselves a fight. 545 00:19:53,350 --> 00:19:55,054 Come on, kill your friend. 546 00:19:55,087 --> 00:19:56,991 Oh, and we're doing flips... 547 00:19:57,025 --> 00:19:58,962 He killed my friend. 548 00:19:58,995 --> 00:20:00,131 -What the fuck? -That was a mistake. 549 00:20:00,164 --> 00:20:01,333 Stop throwing stakes. 550 00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:03,370 -It's rude. -Keep going, or... 551 00:20:03,404 --> 00:20:05,909 Eh. 552 00:20:05,943 --> 00:20:08,180 RINGMASTER: Holy shit, he's Phantom Menacing. 553 00:20:08,214 --> 00:20:10,484 Lot of flash. 554 00:20:10,519 --> 00:20:12,856 Regular Darth Maul, Jr. over here. 555 00:20:12,890 --> 00:20:15,796 I call him Darth Small. 556 00:20:15,829 --> 00:20:17,332 -Whoa! -Aah! 557 00:20:17,365 --> 00:20:19,002 RINGMASTER: Boom goes the dynamite! 558 00:20:19,035 --> 00:20:20,939 I am the winner! 559 00:20:20,973 --> 00:20:22,275 RINGMASTER: Uhp, and look, and there he goes. He's on the run. 560 00:20:22,308 --> 00:20:23,845 That's right, you don't fuck with me! 561 00:20:23,878 --> 00:20:25,314 RINGMASTER: Dumb move to run from a vampire. 562 00:20:25,348 --> 00:20:27,485 -I am the winner! -Then again, he is a familiar. 563 00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:30,091 And they're known for being dumb pieces of shit. 564 00:20:30,124 --> 00:20:31,794 Uh, your friend's up there. 565 00:20:31,828 --> 00:20:33,063 The fuck? 566 00:20:33,097 --> 00:20:35,234 There he is, go! Kill him! 567 00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:37,773 -Murder him! -Oh. 568 00:20:37,806 --> 00:20:40,244 That's nice. How much for this one? 569 00:20:40,278 --> 00:20:41,781 (swords clanging) 570 00:20:41,814 --> 00:20:43,417 RINGMASTER: It's getting slicey. 571 00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:45,789 We got a swordfight. 572 00:20:45,822 --> 00:20:47,425 Getting a little edgy. Whoa! 573 00:20:47,458 --> 00:20:49,897 Collateral damage, but we love to see it, folks. 574 00:20:49,931 --> 00:20:51,400 -Look what you made me do! -What? 575 00:20:51,433 --> 00:20:54,540 Guillermo, you're really starting to piss me off! 576 00:20:54,573 --> 00:20:56,410 -RINGMASTER: Now he's swinging. -GUILLERMO: It was your idea, remember?! 577 00:20:56,443 --> 00:20:58,380 -Get back here! -GUILLERMO: This is your plan! 578 00:20:58,414 --> 00:21:01,019 -Stop hiding behind Greg! -GUILLERMO: Why are you mad at me? 579 00:21:01,053 --> 00:21:03,290 -NANDOR: Sorry, can I... -Is this still part of the game? 580 00:21:03,324 --> 00:21:05,361 -Fuck you! -RINGMASTER: Now we're getting somewhere. 581 00:21:05,394 --> 00:21:08,300 Okay, that fucking hurts, you fucking dick! 582 00:21:08,334 --> 00:21:09,971 -(grunting) -NANDOR: Ah, you're disarmed! 583 00:21:12,408 --> 00:21:15,114 -(grunting) -Get back. 584 00:21:15,147 --> 00:21:17,485 -Aah! -RINGMASTER: Shit. 585 00:21:17,519 --> 00:21:19,957 I guess Peter Pan can't fly. 586 00:21:19,991 --> 00:21:21,961 Oopsies. 587 00:21:21,995 --> 00:21:24,399 RINGMASTER: A predictable end, but an end 588 00:21:24,432 --> 00:21:26,036 -nonetheless. -Yeah! 589 00:21:26,069 --> 00:21:28,474 -Are you not entertained? -I killed my friend! 590 00:21:28,508 --> 00:21:30,244 I killed my friend! 591 00:21:30,277 --> 00:21:32,248 I may have killed my friend. 592 00:21:32,281 --> 00:21:34,285 RINGMASTER: Oh, shit! He's got a shovel! 593 00:21:34,319 --> 00:21:36,824 Hey-oh! 594 00:21:36,858 --> 00:21:39,095 (cheering, clamoring) 595 00:21:39,129 --> 00:21:42,101 Finish him! Finish him! 596 00:21:42,135 --> 00:21:44,372 Finish him! 597 00:21:44,406 --> 00:21:46,544 Finish him! Finish him! 598 00:21:46,577 --> 00:21:48,581 They are right, Guillermo. 599 00:21:48,615 --> 00:21:50,585 Finish me. 600 00:21:50,619 --> 00:21:53,858 -Finish him! Finish him! -RINGMASTER: Finish that motherfucker! 601 00:21:53,892 --> 00:21:55,394 NANDOR: Finish me! 602 00:21:55,428 --> 00:21:57,332 What kind of a vampire am I 603 00:21:57,365 --> 00:21:59,937 if cannot even defeat my own familiar?! 604 00:21:59,970 --> 00:22:01,507 I'm not gonna finish anyone, okay? 605 00:22:01,541 --> 00:22:03,511 I'm gonna let you win. 606 00:22:03,545 --> 00:22:06,551 I don't really want to kill you, but if it is the only way, 607 00:22:06,584 --> 00:22:09,122 -then thank you. -What? No. 608 00:22:09,155 --> 00:22:10,859 I don't mean really kill me. 609 00:22:10,892 --> 00:22:12,295 Just, like, pretend to snap my neck or something, 610 00:22:12,328 --> 00:22:14,099 so we can get the hell out of here. 611 00:22:14,132 --> 00:22:15,535 -That's a much better plan. -RINGMASTER: I want to see 612 00:22:15,569 --> 00:22:17,138 -the blood! -Ready? -Ready. 613 00:22:17,171 --> 00:22:20,077 (grunts) Hey! 614 00:22:20,111 --> 00:22:23,083 -(crowd cheering) -RINGMASTER: Snap! Oh! Oh, oh, oh! 615 00:22:23,117 --> 00:22:25,522 He's dead as a doornail. 616 00:22:25,555 --> 00:22:28,561 Dead as doornail, ladies and gentlemen. 617 00:22:28,595 --> 00:22:31,501 We learned a lot tonight here at familiar fights. 618 00:22:31,534 --> 00:22:33,437 A lot about friendship, and how stupid 619 00:22:33,470 --> 00:22:35,241 and false and artificial it is. 620 00:22:35,274 --> 00:22:37,011 -You okay? -RINGMASTER: Hey, folks, make sure 621 00:22:37,045 --> 00:22:38,447 to take your familiar corpses with you as you leave. 622 00:22:44,125 --> 00:22:46,463 One moment, I'll be right with you, Xerxes. 623 00:22:46,497 --> 00:22:48,935 -(whispering) -So... 624 00:22:48,968 --> 00:22:51,073 we went to the night market last night. 625 00:22:51,106 --> 00:22:54,547 Oh, my, the night market, what fun. 626 00:22:54,580 --> 00:22:57,018 -Mm. -I already had plans last night, 627 00:22:57,051 --> 00:22:59,222 so it's a good thing I didn't get invited. 628 00:22:59,255 --> 00:23:01,326 And, here, I got you a gift. 629 00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:04,533 It came with these weird vials of whatever this is. 630 00:23:04,567 --> 00:23:07,438 I think I'll probably just keep all of these. 631 00:23:07,472 --> 00:23:10,177 And you can use the box to store your brooches or whatever. 632 00:23:10,211 --> 00:23:12,950 This is for me? This is so kind. 633 00:23:12,983 --> 00:23:15,221 I am very kind. Very good boss. 634 00:23:15,254 --> 00:23:17,458 GUIDE: I cannot remember the last time 635 00:23:17,493 --> 00:23:19,329 someone got me a gift. 636 00:23:19,362 --> 00:23:21,099 And I do have a lot of brooches. 637 00:23:21,133 --> 00:23:23,905 -I didn't think anyone noticed... -Oh! 638 00:23:23,938 --> 00:23:25,241 You have detected 639 00:23:25,274 --> 00:23:27,278 the sweet, intoxicating scent of the... 640 00:23:27,311 --> 00:23:29,449 (inhales deeply) Water Lily of The Nile. 641 00:23:29,482 --> 00:23:31,687 -Haven't you, Xerxes? -Uh-oh. 642 00:23:31,721 --> 00:23:33,090 NADJA: Water Lily 643 00:23:33,123 --> 00:23:34,159 of the Nile. 644 00:23:34,192 --> 00:23:35,261 That is what they call it. 645 00:23:35,294 --> 00:23:36,998 It's a medicinal flower. 646 00:23:37,031 --> 00:23:39,002 It's a narcotic that the Egyptians 647 00:23:39,035 --> 00:23:41,072 used to bury with their dead in order 648 00:23:41,106 --> 00:23:43,410 to help ease the sufferings of the afterlife. 649 00:23:43,444 --> 00:23:45,982 And according to the Compendium Narcoticum, 650 00:23:46,016 --> 00:23:48,621 -LASZLO: Some third-rate cobbler... -it is the only drug 651 00:23:48,655 --> 00:23:50,625 that helps with the pain of being a wraith. 652 00:23:50,659 --> 00:23:52,261 Very hard to come by. 653 00:23:52,295 --> 00:23:54,065 And it is said 654 00:23:54,099 --> 00:23:56,537 that those little gobshites will do anything for it. 655 00:23:57,539 --> 00:24:01,146 Do I have enough of these to give to all of the wraiths? No. 656 00:24:01,179 --> 00:24:03,685 Do I have enough of these to give to the one wraith 657 00:24:03,718 --> 00:24:06,223 who tells all the other wraiths what to do? 658 00:24:06,256 --> 00:24:08,227 Maybe. 659 00:24:08,260 --> 00:24:11,233 I think that is probably all I need. 660 00:24:11,266 --> 00:24:13,170 Don't you?! 661 00:24:13,203 --> 00:24:15,007 GUIDE: He won't do it. 662 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:16,644 Union solidarity is a big deal to them. 663 00:24:16,677 --> 00:24:18,515 "We have a deal." 664 00:24:18,548 --> 00:24:20,484 There you go. Pleasure doing business with you. 665 00:24:20,519 --> 00:24:22,121 That's how it's done. 666 00:24:23,423 --> 00:24:26,363 -(indistinct whispering) -GUIDE: I don't think they're happy. 667 00:24:26,396 --> 00:24:30,204 NADJA: If they all vote, he can overrule them, right? 668 00:24:30,237 --> 00:24:32,643 -What? -(Guide gasps) 669 00:24:32,676 --> 00:24:34,012 GUIDE: Oh! 670 00:24:34,045 --> 00:24:36,717 GUIDE: Oh, no! 671 00:24:36,751 --> 00:24:38,755 Mm, shit, shit, shit. 672 00:24:38,788 --> 00:24:42,161 "Xerxes is no longer our leader. 673 00:24:42,195 --> 00:24:45,134 Also, he is dead." Obviously. 674 00:24:45,167 --> 00:24:46,637 Fine! Fuck it! 675 00:24:46,671 --> 00:24:48,708 You can have Mondays off with pay. 676 00:24:48,741 --> 00:24:50,244 And I will build you five 677 00:24:50,277 --> 00:24:52,114 new supply closets for you to sleep in. 678 00:24:53,417 --> 00:24:55,287 -(groans) -(chuckles) 679 00:24:55,321 --> 00:24:56,724 (spits) 680 00:24:56,757 --> 00:24:58,995 -Now get back to work! -(indistinct whispers) 681 00:25:01,266 --> 00:25:03,003 There we go. 682 00:25:03,036 --> 00:25:04,573 I know you've had a disappointing day, 683 00:25:04,607 --> 00:25:07,144 so no rehearsal tonight. 684 00:25:07,178 --> 00:25:09,583 Would you like me to read one of your fairy stories to you? 685 00:25:09,617 --> 00:25:11,453 Uh, that's okay. I-I don't think 686 00:25:11,486 --> 00:25:13,658 I want to read those anymore. 687 00:25:13,691 --> 00:25:15,795 Maybe, can you read me something 688 00:25:15,829 --> 00:25:18,333 from one of your real books about real stuff? 689 00:25:18,367 --> 00:25:20,271 I thought you'd never ask. 690 00:25:20,304 --> 00:25:22,509 (laughs) 691 00:25:22,543 --> 00:25:25,414 One of my personal favorites. Oh, yes. 692 00:25:25,447 --> 00:25:28,186 "The village of Holcomb stands 693 00:25:28,220 --> 00:25:31,494 "on the high wheat plains of western Kansas, 694 00:25:31,527 --> 00:25:35,067 a lonesome area that other Kansans call 'out there.'" 695 00:25:35,100 --> 00:25:37,338 -Are you still awake? -Um, yeah. 696 00:25:37,371 --> 00:25:39,610 It gets very heavy from here on in. 697 00:25:39,643 --> 00:25:43,450 ♪ This little piggy went to market ♪ 698 00:25:43,483 --> 00:25:48,193 ♪ And this little piggy stayed home ♪ 699 00:25:48,227 --> 00:25:52,468 ♪ This little piggy had roast beef ♪ 700 00:25:52,502 --> 00:25:56,811 ♪ This little piggy had none ♪ 701 00:25:57,813 --> 00:25:59,415 ♪ How I recall ♪ 702 00:25:59,449 --> 00:26:02,321 ♪ My dear old mother ♪ 703 00:26:02,355 --> 00:26:07,064 ♪ Putting me to bed ♪ 704 00:26:07,098 --> 00:26:10,839 ♪ She tucked me in and said ♪ 705 00:26:10,872 --> 00:26:15,749 ♪ To her little sleepyhead ♪ 706 00:26:15,782 --> 00:26:18,420 ♪ This little piggy ♪ 707 00:26:18,453 --> 00:26:22,596 ♪ Stayed home. ♪ 708 00:26:22,629 --> 00:26:26,132 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org