Previously, on "Shining Vale"...
- I finished my book. - It's not good.
We're circling Claire Vanderbilt
for the summer push.
Gaynor turned churchy.
Jake is into some nightmare gaming.
"Going to be in wine country.
Want to meet me?"
Think I need to go home.
Unless you don't.
- I'll build your fence. - I thought you sold insurance.
Suck a hot dick.
Well, not anymore.
Actually wearing that medal she gave me.
Oh, that's cool.
They just offered me Thom's job.
- When do we start? - You want me to summon a demon?
I need your help to finish my book.
I want to come inside you.
You want to possess me?
Fuck it. Okay, Rosemary, come inside me.
No.
"Patricia" playing...
♪ Oh, Patricia ♪
♪ My lovely Patricia ♪
♪ You could make All my dreamin' ♪
♪ Come true ♪
♪ My heart is just droolin' ♪
♪ Patricia, no foolin' ♪
♪ I'm falling in love With you ♪
♪ Oh, Patricia ♪
♪ My darling Patricia ♪
♪ I can see all my dreams ♪
♪ In your eyes ♪
♪ My heart is just droolin' ♪
♪ Patricia, no foolin' ♪
♪ I'm falling in love ♪
♪ With you ♪
Rise and shine, everyone.
It's time to go to the funeral.
♪ I'm falling in love ♪
Valerie He was a woman of faith.
- But like many of us... - I can't believe she's gone.
...she struggled with her demons.
I know. It blows.
We must acknowledge the many tragedies
that afflicted her in this life.
It doesn't blow. I'm an orphan.
Valerie lost her husband, Henry...
How would you feel if your mother
jumped out of a window onto a fence?
...eight years ago in a freak accident.
Yeah, it's complicated.
They were loving...
Can't help but feel like
if I had somehow made a worse fence,
she'd still be here.
Oh, don't blame yourself.
...a shock for Valerie.
When a woman wants to die, she'll find a way.
Henry stuck his head
out of a moving school bus window
- and was decapitated... - Hey, buddy. Hi.
So sad, huh?
How'd you know Valerie?
- We went out twice. - Oh.
Her father was killed by a pack of dogs...
Actually, tonight was supposed to be the third date.
They were rottweilers.
That's the date where you're supposed to get sex.
Laird, a woman just died.
Maybe you wait 'til her body's in the ground
before talking about fucking her.
Amen.
Let's go.
- Jake! - Just a minute!
Her name is Daisy.
I thought she was an NPC, but then she led me to this.
Dude, check it out. I bet she was murdered.
Bro, I bet she wants us to find her murderer.
- Bro. - Dude.
Jake, now!
"Terry" playing...
♪ Terry ♪
♪ He said to me He wanted to be ♪
♪ Near to me ♪
♪ He said he never Wanted to be ♪
♪ Out of my sight ♪
♪ But it's too late to give ♪
♪ This boy my love tonight ♪
♪ Please wait at the gate ♪
♪ Of heaven for me, Terry ♪
♪ Terry ♪
♪ He said to me He wanted to be ♪
♪ Close by my side ♪
♪ We had a quarrel ♪
♪ I was untrue On the night he died... ♪
♪ And if... ♪
- Good morning. - Correction, great morning.
I love these suits you picked out for me.
How do I look?
Like a hundred dollars.
Oh, I hope I didn't make this collar too stiff.
- Mm, I like them stiff. - I bet you do.
Ew, when are old people
finally disgusted by each other?
Let you know when we get old.
Oh, why is my bag warm?
I made you fresh peach cobbler.
Yes, you did. Yes, you did.
Aren't you forgetting something?
Give your mother a kiss.
Jacob, eyes on me.
I'm going with Ryan. I'll see ya.
Oh, Gaynor, I put some money in your purse for lunch.
You went through my purse?
I told you not to touch my shit.
Jesus fuck, Gaynor. I gave you free money.
Just say fucking thank you.
Fine, I'll take your fucking money.
Nice outfit.
Pat, you okay?
Oh, yeah. I just...
- Well, you know Gaynor. - Oh.
Oh, I'ma be late for my first day back at work.
Mm.
Your cobbler.
Who is this lady?
Terry, I want to throw a party.
What? You hate parties?
We haven't had a housewarming.
I want to show off the house.
You hate the house.
I just needed time to get used to it.
We can invite all of our new friends.
You don't have any new friends.
Jesus fuck, Terry.
I just want to have a cocktail party.
I'm not asking to land the Mars Rover.
Okay, okay, I'm just not sure throwing a party
is such a great idea for a former party girl.
They write books about that sort of thing.
You literally wrote a book about that.
And now I'm writing a book about a 50's housewife.
Fifties housewife who smokes a lot.
She also likes to cook and clean and make love.
Are you not on board with that?
Oh, I am fully on board with that.
Let's celebrate.
All right, who do you want to invite?
Well, you can invite Laird, and I'll invite Kam.
Okay.
Table for four, huh?
Invite Kathryn.
I'd like to meet her.
I don't want to mix business with pleasure.
She's your partner.
I'd like to know who she is.
This feels a little, you know, weird.
It's only weird if you make it weird.
- Y-your, uh, bosoms. - Fresh.
Here, we can drop all your mom's stuff in here.
What's in these boxes anyway?
Oh, it's just some stuff about the town
but mostly articles and research
my mom collected about your house.
Yeah, no offense, but your mom
was a bit of a creeper.
Well, she was obsessed with your house.
Even when it was empty, she always sensed...
a presence.
- Oh, fuck. - Gosh.
Jake?
Sorry, I was doing something, and then I heard
- you guys come in. - Perv.
No-no, there's a hole in the back of this skull.
- Ah, perv! - No!
I found this old skull, and there's a hole in it,
and I'm trying to find the murder weapon.
So fucking creepy. Go, go.
Sorry, I know I curse a lot.
Oh, I kinda don't even hear it anymore.
I was actually looking at your necklace.
The one my mom gave you.
Do you want it back?
No, she'd want you to keep it.
My mom always wore hers for protection,
but she wasn't wearing it when she died.
They never found it.
I can't believe she's gone.
Mm, ah, sorry, I have terrible instincts.
Get that from my mother along with my flass and cursing.
Fuck, um...
could you please say something now?
We did it.
I mean, this is better than Cressida.
We did it?
You have no fucking idea
what I had to do to bring Rosemary back.
Okay, who cares?
I can't wait to see how it ends.
And yeah, I'ma take a little credit,
because I motivated you.
What, so that was all a lie
about me not getting the summer release
and giving it to that twatkin Claire Vanderbilt?
No, no, no, no, no, no, that was true.
Don't be mad.
You and I both know
that sometimes you need some tough love.
- Mm. - All right there you are.
Thank you. Do you think I can get an extra dressing?
What the hell happened?
Oh, I told Kam
we needed $250,000 or we walk.
- What did she say? - She said no. So we walked.
It's one thing to fuck my husband.
It's another to fuck my career.
We're just playing ball.
I'm supposed to be in charge.
Well, you are until you need help,
and then I take over.
And why did we buy this car?
Oh, that's on me.
Rolf never let me use the good car.
Fuck, Rosemary, just help me write my book.
Stop buying cars, and stop smoking.
It's unhealthy.
Says who?
Okay, I'm late for therapy.
Oh, we canceled because we're doing great.
No, no, we're not... we're not "we."
It's "me." I'm doing great.
Put your seat belt on.
Crazy fucking lady.
- Daisy? - Who's Daisy?
Oh.
Gaynor, come zip Mother up.
Daughter doesn't want to.
Oh, for once, can you do something for me
without giving me lip?
Thank you. Join me for a drink?
You know I'm 16, right?
Well, that didn't stop you from sleeping
with the virgin orphan.
You don't know what you're talking about.
Who told you?
Mothers can sense these things.
So what are you gonna do now?
I don't know.
What do you care? You don't want me dating him anyway.
You win.
Life is way too short
to spend so much energy hating your mother.
I don't hate you.
I just... don't want to be you.
Oh, well, congratulations.
That makes you a normal daughter.
Look, I'm just... I'm trying not to be
such a shitty person right now, okay?
And I thought being baptized would help.
And then I sleep with a virgin.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
What is wrong is that you're 16 years old
and you think that every decision you make
is the end of the world.
It's just not. Trust me.
Come here.
I just...
I feel like I can't fucking win.
Well, that is called
being a woman.
What are you doing?
I'm touching you.
I love you. Come here.
Come here.
It's gonna be okay.
Kathryn, welcome to "Connec-ticut."
Are you kidding me with this house?
How much more money do you make than me?
Uh, national average is about 30%.
But I actually got it way below asking.
Wow, you look...
Hey.
Sorry about that. I was wrapping up a work call.
You must be Terry.
Yes, yes. Uh, you are?
Blake, my husband.
Oh, Blake. The husband.
Yes, wow.
Okay, got it.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
My wife loves you.
And I love... to hear that.
Hey, you make her so happy,
and I should know.
I'm quite literally an expert.
Blake is a chief happiness officer.
- Oh. - Companies hire me
to help employees find their inner smile.
- Ah. - You know what the secret is?
No.
You start with an outer smile,
and if that doesn't work,
you give yourself a smile snap.
Every time.
Well, it's good to be married to somebody who's happy.
Aren't you going to introduce me?
Kathryn, this is, uh...
Patricia... the wife.
Yes, obviously I know your name.
I... Kathryn, this is Pat.
Pat, Kat. Kat, Pat.
Pat, Kat.
I've heard so much about you, Kathryn.
And I have heard so much about you.
Y-you look fantastic.
Pat is actually researching a character for her book, so...
- Isn't that fun? - Very cool.
And who is this?
Blake. I make people happy.
I bet you do.
- Who wants a tour? - Oh, that-that sounds great.
Okay.
And here we go.
Right this way.
Holy shit, this house.
I mean, no wonder you're writing
such a weird fucking book.
Mrs. Phelps, can I just say,
I am, like, your number one fan.
Well, call me Patricia.
Okay, Patricia.
I'm Claire Vanderbilt.
What?
Uh, you're the reason I became a writer.
God damn it.
I was obsessed with Cressida Unbound.
I even got in trouble for bringing it to middle school.
That is a great fucking story, Claire.
Can I talk to you for a second?
Course.
This looks like the Titanic.
Why the fuck did you invite her?
Because you asked me to.
Obviously I was joking.
Do you know how humiliating it is to have someone here
who's ten years younger than you
making ten times more than you?
Okay, both of those numbers are way off.
Listen, after our lunch, I went and spoke with my publisher
and told her that you might need
a little bit more of an advance, so...
Stop her. Don't let her do it.
Stop her.
What the fuck are you saying?
I'm saying I got you $100,000.
- Oh, my God. - But my job is on the line,
so don't fuck me on this.
I won't. I promise. Oh, my...
- I love you. - I love you too.
Come on, let's go celebrate, mm?
Claire, let me take your coat,
and I'll get you a drink.
You're old enough to drink, aren't you?
Oh, I'm 27.
Amazing.
Why did you invite her?
Well, I thought it was important
that we know the competition.
Claire's not my competition.
- She's already won. - Not Claire, silly.
I invited Claire for fun.
I'm talking about Kathryn.
You've seen the way that Terry looks at her.
It's the same way that Rolf looked at his secretary.
Kathryn is not his secretary,
and Terry is completely faithful.
Really?
He's such an animal in bed.
I really like that one where you're on top.
Okay, stop it.
And stop having so much sex with him.
It's-it's giving me a UTI.
Okay, well, what about that Blake fellow?
I wouldn't mind taking him home.
You would be taking him to my home and using my body.
So that's a hard no.
Oh, come on.
Take your medicine. You're no fun.
No, I've already taken twice the recommended dosage today.
And it's not working.
Every time you get annoyed,
your horrible personality pokes out.
It's not horrible.
I just don't like throwing parties.
When are you going to trust me?
I've restarted your career.
I got eye contact from Jacob.
I even got a hug from the girl.
I am making you into your best self.
Look, take the pills,
stop resisting,
and let someone else do the work for once.
Fine.
Laird, you're wearing a kilt.
It is a party.
Do you think it's a bit too much?
I think it's not enough.
Get inside here.
Hey.
- Wow. Looks good. - Yeah, yeah, well, we...
Fred! Dad, can Fred stay over?
Thanks. We're gonna sleep in the tree house.
Come on.
All right, be good.
Everybody...
...this is Laird.
Laird, the party.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Hi. How you doing? - Hi.
- Nice to meet you. - Yeah, it's good...
- Is this it? - Mm.
Really?
Okay, everybody, hi. Sorry about that.
Uh, here's the deal.
This is my first night out since my girlfriend died.
Um, I'm fine.
I'm sorry.
It's just that I really need to have a good time tonight.
Oh.
Also, I brought cocaine.
I am loving this guy in the kilt.
Thank you. I like your suit.
Are you ready?
I was born ready.
Are you nervous?
I was born nervous.
Is there someone here with us?
Is this your skull?
What's your name?
D...
A...
...N.
I thought you said this was Daisy.
It must be a typo.
I know it feels like the end of the world,
but it's only because we're 16.
My mom committed suicide. Then you took my virginity.
Now I'm having a crisis of faith.
What does that have to do with being 16?
Um...
you know, it made sense when I heard it.
Look, if you didn't want to be with me,
why didn't you just ghost me?
Because I didn't want to be a shitty person.
Really? Because you're the shittiest person I've ever met.
I'm not even the shittiest person in my house.
My idea of heaven is a solid white nightclub
with me as the headliner for all eternity.
And they love me.
♪ Down on the east side ♪
♪ Of 33rd and Third ♪
♪ That's my home ♪
♪ Sweet home ♪
♪ Some people say ♪
♪ It's the home Of black eyes ♪
I was just up in the attic.
You're gonna die up there.
Oh, shit.
I'm so sorry I peed your floor.
Please have me back.
He'll be fine.
I think he just...
...had a bad reaction to cocaine
probably because... it's cocaine.
Great, weird party.
Try and put the guy pissing himself on coke in the book.
I'll see what I can do.
I can't find my other glove.
Oh, I'll buy you some more.
Let's get the fuck out of Connecticut.
- It really freaks me out. - Bye.
Blake and I are gonna get going too.
We usually try and leave before the ambulance arrives.
Such a great party.
Oh, you can't leave.
We haven't had a chance to get to know each other.
Come on, just stay for one drink.
One teeny martini.
I insist.
All right, all right, my turn.
Are you one of those?
I don't know what one of those are,
but I certainly am one.
What a great game. Where'd you get it?
Pat found it behind the bar.
Holy shit, how is it... It's 3:30 already.
- Oh, my God. - Oh, we should go.
I-I have an early morning at Google.
Thank you both so much.
Just one more question.
We have to complete the circle, or it's bad luck.
Okay, last one,
'cause I really have had to pee for, like, an hour.
Ooh, this is a good one.
Have you ever almost had an affair
with someone you work with?
That's a... What kinda question's that?
An impertinent one.
Have you ever almost had an affair
with someone you work with?
You know what? Um, babe, we really should go.
What's going on, babe?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Does Blake not know about the two of you at the winery?
Oh, Jesus Christ. Um...
What winery?
Pat, what are you doing?
Not our winery.
Terry and I had...
a drink at, um, a winery.
Yes, the winery where we got married,
but nothing happened.
Not the table under the oak tree.
Oh, my God.
Why would you do that?
I... you know what? I had too much to drink.
Yeah, you always have too much to drink.
And you do drugs.
Yeah, well, you're my mom's age.
Wow, okay.
I hate this. Ugh!
I fucking hate this!
You're...
evil.
♪ Blue skies Blue skies, blue skies ♪
I was just playing the game.
♪ Blue skies, blue skies ♪
♪ My lovely Patricia ♪
♪ Patricia, my lovely ♪
♪ With you ♪
- Damn it. - Dude, give it up.
Also, can I have this picture of your mom?
Bro, no. I-I know her name is Daisy.
Who the hell is Dan?
Kathryn, I thought you left.
Uh, I was looking for Blake, and now I just want to go home.
Can we...
Well, the train stopped running at, uh, midnight.
And the nearest Uber is Brooklyn.
What am I supposed to do?
Ah, here we go.
Welcome to the Phelps Carlton.
I feel like we should have a company policy
on sleepovers starting Monday.
I'm so sorry, Kathryn.
I...
I wish I could say I can't believe
this happened, but...
I can.
You know what? Um...
...this was a really shitty party.
Yeah.
This was the worst party...
...that has ever happened on the planet.
What just happened?
"Thanks for giving me back my smile."
What?
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
What did you do?
Fuck!
Let me show you.
What? Show me what, Valerie He?
Mom, you give really shitty advice.
No fucking kidding.
His name is Dan. He went missing in the 1950s.
Jake, honey, I'm just...
I'm having a really bad morning.
Pat, hey.
Listen, last night, things really got outta control.
Terry, I love you. Not fucking right now.
I did something very bad.
Join the club.
What?
Did you kill Valerie He?
Did I, or did we?
You are out of control.
No, Patricia.
I'm in complete control.
I'm not afraid of you.
I've been through hell.
If you hurt me or my family, I will fucking...
Oh, shit.
"Patricia" playing...
♪ Oh, Patricia ♪
♪ My darlin' Patricia ♪
♪ I can see all my dreams ♪
♪ In your eyes ♪
♪ My heart is just droolin' ♪
♪ Patricia, no foolin' ♪
♪ I'm falling in love ♪
♪ With you ♪
♪ I'm falling in love ♪
♪ With you ♪