1
00:00:08,876 --> 00:00:11,791
[Ian V.O.] The tea? Cinnamon.

2
00:00:11,792 --> 00:00:13,710
The girl? Late.

3
00:00:13,712 --> 00:00:15,031
Twenty three minutes late.

4
00:00:15,032 --> 00:00:16,551
Two more minutes and I'm
leaving.

5
00:00:16,552 --> 00:00:17,712
[bell rings as door opens]

6
00:00:21,032 --> 00:00:23,632
[Ian V.O] They were always nervous.

7
00:00:23,633 --> 00:00:24,993
Which was expected.

8
00:00:27,473 --> 00:00:28,953
I knew what I looked like.

9
00:00:30,953 --> 00:00:34,073
Chiseled? Check.

10
00:00:36,473 --> 00:00:38,672
Caramel-blond
hair that somehow manages

11
00:00:38,673 --> 00:00:42,272
to look wavy and thick
all the damn time?

12
00:00:42,273 --> 00:00:44,193
Check.

13
00:00:44,194 --> 00:00:45,994
Sexy crooked smile?

14
00:00:47,754 --> 00:00:48,754
Check.

15
00:00:51,074 --> 00:00:53,633
And don't even get me
started on penis size.

16
00:00:53,634 --> 00:00:56,394
It just gets better
the farther south you go.

17
00:00:59,474 --> 00:01:01,034
Trust me.

18
00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:08,475
Stand.

19
00:01:11,075 --> 00:01:14,154
Or sit. But I doubt that's the
way to get on the good side of

20
00:01:14,155 --> 00:01:16,194
that barista you've been trying
not to check out

21
00:01:16,195 --> 00:01:17,914
since you walked in that door.

22
00:01:17,915 --> 00:01:19,074
SHELL I haven't...

23
00:01:19,075 --> 00:01:23,595
Jealousy is a crucial emotion
men feel before falling in love.

24
00:01:26,916 --> 00:01:28,236
I won't bite.

25
00:01:31,276 --> 00:01:32,836
- Yet.
- [gasps]

26
00:01:33,996 --> 00:01:35,076
Take it.

27
00:01:38,036 --> 00:01:39,195
I hate tea.

28
00:01:39,196 --> 00:01:40,876
No. You love tea.

29
00:01:44,876 --> 00:01:46,997
- Smile.
- What?

30
00:01:48,277 --> 00:01:51,116
Hey... you, uh... guys need
anything?

31
00:01:51,117 --> 00:01:52,756
I'll send my girlfriend over

32
00:01:52,757 --> 00:01:54,277
if we need something,
how's that?

33
00:01:57,837 --> 00:01:58,837
Thanks though.

34
00:02:05,357 --> 00:02:07,317
Stop fidgeting and sit up
straight.

35
00:02:07,318 --> 00:02:11,637
Sorry. It's just that he's only
talked to me twice, and

36
00:02:11,638 --> 00:02:14,358
only ever to ask if I wanted
sugar in my coffee.

37
00:02:15,238 --> 00:02:16,318
He hates coffee.

38
00:02:21,838 --> 00:02:23,558
[steam gushes loudly]

39
00:02:26,238 --> 00:02:27,319
Touch me.

40
00:02:30,719 --> 00:02:32,758
Lower.

41
00:02:32,759 --> 00:02:34,599
Stop staring, or we're done.

42
00:02:36,599 --> 00:02:37,599
Now laugh.

43
00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:41,119
[giggles nervously]

44
00:02:41,759 --> 00:02:44,318
That'll do too.

45
00:02:44,319 --> 00:02:49,879
Shell, if you need anything,
let me know. Okay?

46
00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,759
I think I'm good with my tea.

47
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:54,399
You hate tea.

48
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,520
No. She loves tea.

49
00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:00,320
Asshole.

50
00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:05,279
[gasps]
He knows my name.

51
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,599
Who are you?

52
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,360
Ian Hunter. Master wingman

53
00:03:09,361 --> 00:03:11,001
and your only chance in hell
of getting...

54
00:03:11,961 --> 00:03:13,080
that.

55
00:03:13,081 --> 00:03:14,521
Here you go. Appreciate it.

56
00:03:16,041 --> 00:03:17,721
When do we start?

57
00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:20,761
Three minutes ago.

58
00:03:48,882 --> 00:03:50,121
{\an8}How was she?

59
00:03:50,122 --> 00:03:51,083
{\an8}Because if she's not a good fit,
I have another girl

60
00:03:51,084 --> 00:03:52,522
{\an8}that offered to pay me
in sexual favors

61
00:03:52,523 --> 00:03:54,242
{\an8}to move her to the top.

62
00:03:54,243 --> 00:03:57,082
{\an8}No, cross her off. If she knows
how to give favors,

63
00:03:57,083 --> 00:03:58,722
{\an8}she knows how to
get her own damn man.

64
00:03:58,723 --> 00:03:59,683
Noted.

65
00:03:59,684 --> 00:04:02,082
{\an8}And Gabi says if you
don't make it tonight for dinner

66
00:04:02,083 --> 00:04:04,682
{\an8}she's going to glue your hand
to your penis.

67
00:04:04,683 --> 00:04:06,482
{\an8}Though she was much
more graphic.

68
00:04:06,483 --> 00:04:09,282
{\an8}Always is. I'm on my way.

69
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:10,762
{\an8}See you there.

70
00:04:10,763 --> 00:04:12,843
{\an8}[car phone beeps]

71
00:04:12,844 --> 00:04:15,323
[Ian V.O.] I didn't pick this life. It's
not like I woke up one morning

72
00:04:15,324 --> 00:04:18,243
and went, "Whoa, wouldn't
it be so badass

73
00:04:18,244 --> 00:04:19,803
to help women get the guy.

74
00:04:19,804 --> 00:04:23,523
{\an8}  I'm a coach. And coaches
have their playbooks,

75
00:04:23,524 --> 00:04:25,843
{\an8}  it's not enough to know
how to play the game,

76
00:04:25,844 --> 00:04:28,363
you have to know
how to read the plays,

77
00:04:28,364 --> 00:04:29,723
know your opponent.

78
00:04:29,724 --> 00:04:31,643
That's what Wingmen, Inc.
Is about.

79
00:04:31,644 --> 00:04:34,004
Who better to teach women
how not to get played

80
00:04:34,005 --> 00:04:36,204
- than the actual player?
- [car phone beeps]

81
00:04:36,205 --> 00:04:37,724
To what do I owe this pleasure?

82
00:04:37,725 --> 00:04:38,964
I'm not your client, Ian.

83
00:04:38,965 --> 00:04:40,684
Cut with the smooth-talking
love coach voice.

84
00:04:40,685 --> 00:04:42,325
You promised!

85
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:44,884
I did.

86
00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:46,644
You forgot, didn't you?

87
00:04:46,645 --> 00:04:48,484
Of course not. Come on.

88
00:04:48,485 --> 00:04:49,884
Sometimes I wonder
why we're friends.

89
00:04:49,885 --> 00:04:51,324
Because you like watching me
while I sleep?

90
00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:53,285
One time, Ian!

91
00:04:53,286 --> 00:04:54,965
The welcome party
for my two new roommates?

92
00:04:54,966 --> 00:04:56,285
You were supposed to bring the
chips and dip?

93
00:04:56,286 --> 00:04:59,965
I'm sorry, Gabs. I'll be there
in fifteen minutes.

94
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,885
You better.

95
00:05:01,886 --> 00:05:02,926
[phone beeps]

96
00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:07,686
[car alarm chirps]

97
00:05:16,247 --> 00:05:19,807
Wow. Your top looks gorgeous
with your skin tone.

98
00:05:22,607 --> 00:05:25,007
[Ian V.O.] Sometimes it was just too easy.

99
00:05:29,847 --> 00:05:31,486
You said fifteen minutes.

100
00:05:31,487 --> 00:05:33,486
Did I say fifteen? Could have
sworn I said twenty.

101
00:05:33,487 --> 00:05:35,287
You smell like cheap perfume.

102
00:05:35,288 --> 00:05:36,687
Seriously, you smell bad, dude.

103
00:05:36,688 --> 00:05:39,367
Go. Shower. I'll put out
the food.

104
00:05:39,368 --> 00:05:40,288
Your extra clothes
are still in my room.

105
00:05:40,289 --> 00:05:42,727
Just... Get rid of the skank.

106
00:05:42,728 --> 00:05:43,967
She has a name, you know.

107
00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:45,487
Although, I really couldn't
read her nametag

108
00:05:45,488 --> 00:05:46,767
with her lips wrapped around me,

109
00:05:46,768 --> 00:05:47,768
she was blocking the view.

110
00:05:47,769 --> 00:05:49,687
One day you're going to get
smited.

111
00:05:49,688 --> 00:05:50,767
Or is it smote?

112
00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:52,608
That sounds dirty.
Can't wait to try that.

113
00:05:53,208 --> 00:05:55,088
Lex.

114
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:26,170
[gasps]

115
00:06:28,690 --> 00:06:31,090
Kinda had you pegged for a
boyshorts girl.

116
00:06:33,930 --> 00:06:35,809
What are you doing in my room?

117
00:06:35,810 --> 00:06:37,570
You mean Gabi's room.

118
00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:39,330
I mean my room.

119
00:06:39,331 --> 00:06:40,571
And you are?

120
00:06:41,891 --> 00:06:43,130
Look, I've got about
three minutes

121
00:06:43,131 --> 00:06:44,330
before Gabi hands me my ass.

122
00:06:44,331 --> 00:06:46,610
Did you want to go on the bed

123
00:06:46,611 --> 00:06:48,330
or the floor, since you're
already there?

124
00:06:48,331 --> 00:06:50,570
What are you talking about?

125
00:06:50,571 --> 00:06:52,010
Down to about two minutes.

126
00:06:52,011 --> 00:06:53,410
I'm not gonna lie, it's gonna
be a little difficult,

127
00:06:53,411 --> 00:06:56,250
but I could probably conjure
something up that would cause

128
00:06:56,251 --> 00:06:58,331
a little panting.
Maybe a scream or two.

129
00:06:58,332 --> 00:06:59,971
A scream?

130
00:06:59,972 --> 00:07:01,972
Are you a stripper for
the party?

131
00:07:02,732 --> 00:07:03,732
No.

132
00:07:03,733 --> 00:07:06,091
Come on. About ten seconds
left,

133
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,491
and I don't even think I can
perform miracles of this...

134
00:07:08,492 --> 00:07:11,411
- caliber.
- Get out of my room.

135
00:07:11,412 --> 00:07:12,491
You mean Gabi's room.

136
00:07:12,492 --> 00:07:13,651
We switched.

137
00:07:13,652 --> 00:07:15,571
- Oh.
- Yeah.

138
00:07:15,572 --> 00:07:18,893
Okay, so... That would make
Gabi's room...?

139
00:07:20,093 --> 00:07:21,372
Yeah.

140
00:07:21,373 --> 00:07:22,932
Gotcha.

141
00:07:22,933 --> 00:07:24,932
Your loss. Could have
rocked your world.

142
00:07:24,933 --> 00:07:26,733
My world doesn't need rocking.

143
00:07:28,773 --> 00:07:30,692
Every girl needs to allow her
world to be rocked,

144
00:07:30,693 --> 00:07:33,172
at least once.

145
00:07:33,173 --> 00:07:35,613
Or, if said rocking is
coming from  moi?

146
00:07:36,253 --> 00:07:37,493
Sometimes twice.

147
00:07:41,254 --> 00:07:43,093
It's a little more complicated
than that.

148
00:07:43,094 --> 00:07:45,934
It's not just ones and zeroes.

149
00:07:48,614 --> 00:07:50,054
That's amazing.

150
00:07:54,054 --> 00:07:55,814
It's been ten minutes,
tell me you didn't...

151
00:07:56,694 --> 00:07:57,614
Didn't? What?

152
00:07:57,615 --> 00:07:59,413
- What was that for?
- Where's Blake?

153
00:07:59,414 --> 00:08:01,734
- Is she on the basketball team?
- No. Where is she?

154
00:08:01,735 --> 00:08:03,254
- Soccer? Tennis?
- No. Ian...

155
00:08:03,255 --> 00:08:05,014
if you touched her, I
swear I'll rip your golden locks

156
00:08:05,015 --> 00:08:06,574
from your brain one by one.

157
00:08:06,575 --> 00:08:09,494
- Golf?
- Volleyball, actually.

158
00:08:09,495 --> 00:08:10,814
That explains the clothes.

159
00:08:10,815 --> 00:08:12,135
What's wrong with my clothes?

160
00:08:13,255 --> 00:08:14,775
[snickers]

161
00:08:16,055 --> 00:08:16,935
He belong to you?

162
00:08:16,936 --> 00:08:18,534
Unfortunately.

163
00:08:18,535 --> 00:08:20,694
You know how your parents always
tell you not to feed strays?

164
00:08:20,695 --> 00:08:23,335
He was so cute at
first, like all puppies.

165
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,055
Then he started biting
all my friends.

166
00:08:25,056 --> 00:08:26,576
Love you too, Boo.

167
00:08:27,696 --> 00:08:28,496
[slaps]

168
00:08:28,497 --> 00:08:31,655
Are we going to do this or what?
I have a test in the morning.

169
00:08:31,656 --> 00:08:33,135
Not yet! It's a welcome party

170
00:08:33,136 --> 00:08:34,695
for my new roommates Serena
and Blake.

171
00:08:34,696 --> 00:08:36,135
We have to socialize first.

172
00:08:36,136 --> 00:08:37,575
Come on, Gabs. We met the
roomates,

173
00:08:37,576 --> 00:08:40,015
Ian brought food, and
you're still single.

174
00:08:40,016 --> 00:08:42,097
I mean, all is right
with the world.

175
00:08:44,217 --> 00:08:47,176
Calm down. Come here, sit.

176
00:08:47,177 --> 00:08:53,057
Let's just watch the show,
and then we'll have dessert.

177
00:08:54,537 --> 00:08:56,897
Should have never fed him
that first treat.

178
00:08:57,857 --> 00:08:59,736
Haunts me day and night, Blake,

179
00:08:59,737 --> 00:09:01,617
day and night.

180
00:09:10,498 --> 00:09:12,097
[Ian] What's up, my man?

181
00:09:12,098 --> 00:09:12,898
What's the news?

182
00:09:12,899 --> 00:09:14,697
- [Lex] Serena.
- [lan] Okay.

183
00:09:14,698 --> 00:09:17,378
Wildcat in bed.
Forgot my name twice.

184
00:09:18,498 --> 00:09:21,217
Asked if I believed in unicorns.

185
00:09:21,218 --> 00:09:22,817
Has attended Comic Con three
times.

186
00:09:22,818 --> 00:09:24,538
When I asked for her number...

187
00:09:24,539 --> 00:09:26,058
she cried.

188
00:09:26,059 --> 00:09:27,659
Cried?

189
00:09:28,579 --> 00:09:29,139
Damn.

190
00:09:29,140 --> 00:09:31,138
Must have been on your "A" game
last night.

191
00:09:31,139 --> 00:09:33,298
I'm never off my game.

192
00:09:33,299 --> 00:09:36,419
So that one time you hit
on Gabi was a fluke?

193
00:09:37,019 --> 00:09:37,979
I was drunk.

194
00:09:37,980 --> 00:09:39,978
Can we not talk about Gabi
this early in the morning?

195
00:09:39,979 --> 00:09:41,699
It really messes with
the rest of my day.

196
00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:43,979
[girl] Hi Ian.

197
00:09:44,860 --> 00:09:45,899
Your schedule is full,

198
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:47,539
but a new one popped up on
the site this morning,

199
00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:50,140
I wasn't sure if you
wanted me to let her apply.

200
00:09:51,220 --> 00:09:52,420
Do it.

201
00:09:53,140 --> 00:09:54,499
I gotta go.

202
00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:56,139
Shell has an early class
with Douchepants

203
00:09:56,140 --> 00:09:58,259
and I gotta walk her to class
holding her books,

204
00:09:58,260 --> 00:10:00,659
then... kiss her on the forehead.

205
00:10:00,660 --> 00:10:02,660
Tale as old as time, my friend.

206
00:10:03,180 --> 00:10:04,340
You know it.

207
00:10:10,021 --> 00:10:11,301
Stop here.

208
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:21,981
Did he notice?

209
00:10:21,982 --> 00:10:23,860
Oh, he noticed.

210
00:10:23,861 --> 00:10:25,580
Now you can give
him your phone number.

211
00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:26,382
Don't answer the first text.

212
00:10:26,383 --> 00:10:29,221
Answer the third.
Always the third.

213
00:10:29,222 --> 00:10:31,141
What if he doesn't ask for it?

214
00:10:31,142 --> 00:10:32,102
Trust me, he will.

215
00:10:32,103 --> 00:10:33,782
Now off you go.

216
00:10:37,822 --> 00:10:41,501
[Ian V.O.] I just blazed through rules
one, two, three and four.

217
00:10:41,502 --> 00:10:43,421
Rule one: make them curious.

218
00:10:43,422 --> 00:10:46,141
Rule two: Don't appear
too interested.

219
00:10:46,142 --> 00:10:49,142
Rule three: Give them
a method of contact,

220
00:10:49,143 --> 00:10:50,702
but keep the ball in your court.

221
00:10:50,703 --> 00:10:54,423
Rule four: Never answer
the first text.

222
00:10:59,263 --> 00:11:00,343
Sorry, bro.

223
00:11:01,743 --> 00:11:02,743
You.

224
00:11:05,503 --> 00:11:06,823
Hi.

225
00:11:07,704 --> 00:11:09,263
Fans of yours?

226
00:11:09,264 --> 00:11:11,183
[girl] Maybe he'll sit with us.

227
00:11:11,184 --> 00:11:12,223
The club has an opening.

228
00:11:12,224 --> 00:11:15,503
They made posters last year.

229
00:11:15,504 --> 00:11:17,983
You clearly have too high
of an opinion of yourself.

230
00:11:17,984 --> 00:11:19,824
Some may say not high enough.

231
00:11:25,744 --> 00:11:27,344
[Blake sighs]

232
00:11:38,345 --> 00:11:40,104
Are you going to make it?

233
00:11:40,105 --> 00:11:41,985
Are you gonna make it?

234
00:11:48,745 --> 00:11:49,826
Blue.

235
00:11:50,306 --> 00:11:51,345
What?

236
00:11:51,346 --> 00:11:54,225
You're eyes.
They're a nice ice blue.

237
00:11:54,226 --> 00:11:56,745
I'm not interested.

238
00:11:56,746 --> 00:12:00,025
- In men?
- In you. So stop talking.

239
00:12:00,026 --> 00:12:01,026
Thank you.

240
00:12:01,027 --> 00:12:04,305
Open your books for those
who brought them,

241
00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:06,426
to page 34.

242
00:12:12,547 --> 00:12:13,347
[bell dings]

243
00:12:13,348 --> 00:12:14,386
And just a reminder,

244
00:12:14,387 --> 00:12:18,066
there will be a quiz on Chapter
four next week.

245
00:12:18,067 --> 00:12:19,547
- Thank you.
- Blake...

246
00:12:27,267 --> 00:12:28,346
It worked!

247
00:12:28,347 --> 00:12:29,107
Of course it did.

248
00:12:29,108 --> 00:12:30,426
He's going to
try to get you alone.

249
00:12:30,427 --> 00:12:31,827
Don't let him.

250
00:12:31,828 --> 00:12:34,387
- But...
- Rule number five. You're busy.

251
00:12:34,388 --> 00:12:36,587
You're always busy
unless I say you aren't.

252
00:12:36,588 --> 00:12:39,068
Ian, you're the best.

253
00:12:45,748 --> 00:12:47,388
Interesting.

254
00:12:54,509 --> 00:12:55,708
Waiting for someone?

255
00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:59,229
Yes I am. It's very important,
can you please leave?

256
00:13:02,189 --> 00:13:04,188
Forget it. This was
a stupid idea.

257
00:13:04,189 --> 00:13:07,708
I doubt David would
approve of that attitude?

258
00:13:07,709 --> 00:13:10,109
Says here he values optimism
above all things.

259
00:13:10,989 --> 00:13:12,229
What?

260
00:13:15,350 --> 00:13:17,110
Come with me. Let's go.

261
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:25,629
What is this?

262
00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:27,749
Wingmen, Inc.

263
00:13:27,750 --> 00:13:30,789
No, no, no. You've got
to be kidding me.

264
00:13:30,790 --> 00:13:31,909
Not kidding you.

265
00:13:31,910 --> 00:13:33,029
Lex and I are the masterminds

266
00:13:33,030 --> 00:13:34,910
behind the fastest growing
dating service

267
00:13:34,911 --> 00:13:36,230
in the Pacific Northwest.

268
00:13:36,231 --> 00:13:37,830
Some say I'm a
modern-day Superman,

269
00:13:37,831 --> 00:13:39,990
saving women from themselves

270
00:13:39,991 --> 00:13:41,271
while Lex plays sidekick.

271
00:13:42,351 --> 00:13:44,190
You're welcome.

272
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:45,550
You're such an ass.

273
00:13:45,551 --> 00:13:47,310
I'm also your new love coach.

274
00:13:47,311 --> 00:13:48,791
That is, if you're
still interested.

275
00:13:50,911 --> 00:13:53,110
Look. We have a ninety-nine
percent success rate.

276
00:13:53,111 --> 00:13:55,831
If you follow the rules,
take my advice and guidance,

277
00:13:55,832 --> 00:13:57,911
you'll be popping out little
Davids in no time.

278
00:13:57,912 --> 00:13:58,912
Kids?

279
00:13:58,913 --> 00:14:01,831
Yeah. Or whatever it is you
want.

280
00:14:01,832 --> 00:14:02,992
I'll get it for you.

281
00:14:06,152 --> 00:14:07,551
Can I think about it?

282
00:14:07,552 --> 00:14:09,111
Sure. You have one minute.

283
00:14:09,112 --> 00:14:11,831
This was an impulse.

284
00:14:11,832 --> 00:14:14,151
A girl on my team gave me
your card

285
00:14:14,152 --> 00:14:17,112
after I kept complaining
about David not noticing me...

286
00:14:17,113 --> 00:14:19,593
Megan. Nice girl. 30 seconds...

287
00:14:21,713 --> 00:14:22,633
Fine.

288
00:14:22,634 --> 00:14:25,192
Good. I don't like to
candycoat anything.

289
00:14:25,193 --> 00:14:26,592
So, I'm gonna
be real honest here.

290
00:14:26,593 --> 00:14:29,672
If we're gonna turn the head of
the captain of the basketball
team,

291
00:14:29,673 --> 00:14:32,712
we've got a lot of work to do.

292
00:14:32,713 --> 00:14:35,713
But I'm the best.
We start tonight.

293
00:14:35,714 --> 00:14:37,433
Lex is going to look over
the details,

294
00:14:37,434 --> 00:14:39,993
and send you the schedule
tonight. Okay?

295
00:14:39,994 --> 00:14:42,953
And if David reaches out at
all during this process,

296
00:14:42,954 --> 00:14:44,393
contact me first.

297
00:14:44,394 --> 00:14:46,433
If he texts you today, ignore
him.

298
00:14:46,434 --> 00:14:50,033
If he calls you, you're busy
with your new study partner.

299
00:14:50,034 --> 00:14:51,594
Is that you?

300
00:14:53,754 --> 00:14:55,393
Blake, not only am I your
new study partner.

301
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:58,675
From here on out...
I'm your everything.

302
00:15:00,795 --> 00:15:03,114
[Lex] I know you pride yourself
in taking less than a week for a

303
00:15:03,115 --> 00:15:08,034
client to gain true love's kiss,
but damn...

304
00:15:08,035 --> 00:15:09,154
[Ian] It can't be that bad.

305
00:15:09,155 --> 00:15:10,194
[Lex] No. Actually, it's worse.

306
00:15:10,195 --> 00:15:13,874
You mean she's a little virgin
who's never kissed a man,

307
00:15:13,875 --> 00:15:15,234
blushes when she hears the word
sex,

308
00:15:15,235 --> 00:15:16,714
can't spell the word "orgasm",

309
00:15:16,715 --> 00:15:19,156
and believes in love
at first sight?

310
00:15:21,356 --> 00:15:23,035
Damn.

311
00:15:23,036 --> 00:15:24,155
Here's her questionaire.

312
00:15:24,156 --> 00:15:26,035
Check out Blake's
number fifteen.

313
00:15:26,036 --> 00:15:28,315
Number 15? Oh yeah.

314
00:15:28,316 --> 00:15:31,115
"What would you wear on
a first date?"

315
00:15:31,116 --> 00:15:33,155
Her answer:
"Something comfortable

316
00:15:33,156 --> 00:15:35,115
like a baggy sweatshirt? Or...

317
00:15:35,116 --> 00:15:38,197
a hat, because hats
are mysterious."

318
00:15:39,637 --> 00:15:41,676
Number sixteen's my favorite.

319
00:15:41,677 --> 00:15:43,356
Sixteen: "My first kiss was..."

320
00:15:43,357 --> 00:15:46,357
Her answer, "Hopefully it will
be great."

321
00:15:48,157 --> 00:15:50,837
I especially liked the smiley
face and the heart emoji.

322
00:15:52,597 --> 00:15:54,156
I'm going to see her tonight,
so I'll follow up on these.

323
00:15:54,157 --> 00:15:56,236
Did you want to finish the
questionnaire, or should I?

324
00:15:56,237 --> 00:15:57,997
No. That's all you, bro.

325
00:16:01,678 --> 00:16:04,397
- Just... no.
- [breaking glass]

326
00:16:04,398 --> 00:16:05,838
Yeah, no.

327
00:16:08,798 --> 00:16:10,078
[Ian sighs]

328
00:16:10,798 --> 00:16:12,158
[girl 1] Hi, Ian.

329
00:16:14,318 --> 00:16:16,437
[girl 2] He's so hot.

330
00:16:16,438 --> 00:16:18,357
How can you do that?

331
00:16:18,358 --> 00:16:21,838
Lead girls on like that?

332
00:16:21,839 --> 00:16:24,599
Every single one of them is
still staring and whispering.

333
00:16:25,559 --> 00:16:28,438
One of them just took a picture.

334
00:16:28,439 --> 00:16:29,559
Two, actually.

335
00:16:30,879 --> 00:16:34,319
Why? It's not like you're
famous or anything.

336
00:16:37,279 --> 00:16:38,719
Are you?

337
00:16:40,079 --> 00:16:42,399
Was.

338
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,599
Are you going to just leave it
like that?

339
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:48,200
Or do you want to explain?

340
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,159
There's not much to explain.

341
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:54,959
My sophomore year, I got an
exemption to play pro football,

342
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:58,760
and then... I got injured.

343
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,160
So, here I am.

344
00:17:02,161 --> 00:17:05,080
[indistinct conversation]

345
00:17:05,081 --> 00:17:08,640
[Ian] Whoa. What just happened
here?

346
00:17:08,641 --> 00:17:10,440
[David] That was
a good practice, guys.

347
00:17:10,441 --> 00:17:11,560
Let's take the spot here.

348
00:17:11,561 --> 00:17:12,601
[Blake] He's here.

349
00:17:14,521 --> 00:17:16,001
Yeah, I know.

350
00:17:16,801 --> 00:17:18,240
That's why we're here.

351
00:17:18,241 --> 00:17:22,521
He comes here every night
after basketball practice.

352
00:17:22,522 --> 00:17:24,201
We're doing a little recon.

353
00:17:24,202 --> 00:17:27,401
Your file shows that you met
when you were four.

354
00:17:27,402 --> 00:17:31,162
And you guys actually
took baths together.

355
00:17:32,762 --> 00:17:34,881
So, I'm just wondering what this
whole shy deal is about.

356
00:17:34,882 --> 00:17:38,122
'Cause, he's seen the goods,
sister.

357
00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:40,801
The goods?

358
00:17:40,802 --> 00:17:43,002
I didn't have goods
when I was four.

359
00:17:43,003 --> 00:17:46,442
I can't even tell
if you have goods now.

360
00:17:46,443 --> 00:17:48,523
Considering the baggy clothes
you wear.

361
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,762
[sighs]

362
00:17:51,763 --> 00:17:55,522
Okay, can we just go
before he sees us, please?

363
00:17:55,523 --> 00:17:57,722
And that's a bad idea, why?

364
00:17:57,723 --> 00:18:01,242
Because, every time I'm around
him I act like a dude,

365
00:18:01,243 --> 00:18:02,642
like I'm one of the guys.

366
00:18:02,643 --> 00:18:07,243
I just want him to see
me differently.

367
00:18:07,244 --> 00:18:10,403
I want him to know I have...
boobs.

368
00:18:10,404 --> 00:18:12,123
Alright, well...

369
00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:13,683
like I said before,

370
00:18:13,684 --> 00:18:17,044
the jury's still clearly
out on that one.

371
00:18:23,284 --> 00:18:24,924
[inhales]

372
00:18:24,925 --> 00:18:27,644
- Are you sniffing my hair?
- Yeah.

373
00:18:27,645 --> 00:18:30,004
Is he looking?

374
00:18:30,005 --> 00:18:31,364
No. He's eating.

375
00:18:31,365 --> 00:18:32,524
Bastard.

376
00:18:32,525 --> 00:18:34,084
God, he must be clueless.

377
00:18:34,085 --> 00:18:36,244
You know what?
He must have seen you.

378
00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:37,685
Come here. Turn. Look at me.

379
00:18:42,085 --> 00:18:43,285
What?

380
00:18:45,365 --> 00:18:47,206
[sighs]

381
00:19:04,126 --> 00:19:05,405
[David] Blake?

382
00:19:05,406 --> 00:19:09,526
Hey. Sorry I didn't see you
when we came in.

383
00:19:09,527 --> 00:19:10,767
Who's your friend?

384
00:19:11,607 --> 00:19:12,927
Name's Ian.

385
00:19:13,607 --> 00:19:15,366
Ian.

386
00:19:15,367 --> 00:19:17,726
Ian. How's it going, man?

387
00:19:17,727 --> 00:19:18,766
Good.

388
00:19:18,767 --> 00:19:20,446
David, you should have seen
this guy play.

389
00:19:20,447 --> 00:19:22,686
[Ian] Let's not bore him
with that.

390
00:19:22,687 --> 00:19:23,846
Nice to meet you, David.

391
00:19:23,847 --> 00:19:25,887
How do you know my girl?

392
00:19:27,888 --> 00:19:29,807
Your girl?

393
00:19:29,808 --> 00:19:31,728
Yeah, my girl.

394
00:19:35,088 --> 00:19:38,888
I didn't realize you were
dating anybody.

395
00:19:40,328 --> 00:19:42,448
I didn't realize you were
her dad?

396
00:19:44,608 --> 00:19:46,367
Hell no, man!

397
00:19:46,368 --> 00:19:47,288
We go way back.

398
00:19:47,289 --> 00:19:50,369
We've been
friends since we could walk.

399
00:19:52,129 --> 00:19:54,048
Cute story.

400
00:19:54,049 --> 00:19:56,808
Well, it was nice
meeting Blake's dad.

401
00:19:56,809 --> 00:19:58,088
[laughs]
Kidding.

402
00:19:58,089 --> 00:19:59,688
It was nice meeting you, David.

403
00:19:59,689 --> 00:20:00,889
Yeah, it was nice to meet you.

404
00:20:03,729 --> 00:20:05,408
It's good to see you, Blake.

405
00:20:05,409 --> 00:20:07,848
- [Blake] You too.
- [lan] Shall we?

406
00:20:07,849 --> 00:20:09,170
Yeah.

407
00:20:19,770 --> 00:20:21,410
- You okay?
- Yeah.

408
00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:23,729
Thank you.

409
00:20:23,730 --> 00:20:26,169
I think that was the first time
he's ever looked at me...

410
00:20:26,170 --> 00:20:27,569
Like you had boobs.

411
00:20:27,570 --> 00:20:29,370
Exactly.

412
00:20:37,131 --> 00:20:38,531
Next.

413
00:20:42,331 --> 00:20:43,890
I'm going to count to five.

414
00:20:43,891 --> 00:20:45,090
[Blake] I don't think it fits.

415
00:20:45,091 --> 00:20:47,570
[Ian] They measured you.
It fits.

416
00:20:47,571 --> 00:20:51,091
We gotta go. Gabi said we
got dinner at six.

417
00:20:51,092 --> 00:20:52,451
[Blake]
This is too much pressure.

418
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:55,211
How do I know if it fits?

419
00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:57,051
They're boobs. How do I know if
it looks good?

420
00:20:57,052 --> 00:20:58,091
Let's go.

421
00:20:58,092 --> 00:21:00,452
Open up before I crawl under.
Come on, let's go.

422
00:21:05,292 --> 00:21:08,852
Scale of one to ten?
How awful is it?

423
00:21:11,773 --> 00:21:14,532
Blake, you look great.

424
00:21:14,533 --> 00:21:16,372
You sound bored.

425
00:21:16,373 --> 00:21:18,813
No. Your boobs look good.

426
00:21:20,533 --> 00:21:22,372
Happy.

427
00:21:22,373 --> 00:21:23,413
You think?

428
00:21:26,213 --> 00:21:27,772
I'm just no good at this.

429
00:21:27,773 --> 00:21:30,413
I didn't grow up with a mom.
So...

430
00:21:31,813 --> 00:21:36,213
Well, men are turned on
by sight,

431
00:21:36,214 --> 00:21:37,813
girls by touch.

432
00:21:37,814 --> 00:21:38,853
By wearing something fitting,

433
00:21:38,854 --> 00:21:41,253
you're guaranteeing that
he won't see you as a buddy,

434
00:21:41,254 --> 00:21:44,133
but as a partner.

435
00:21:44,134 --> 00:21:45,734
And that's what you wanted,
right?

436
00:21:47,134 --> 00:21:48,574
Right.

437
00:21:49,374 --> 00:21:50,573
You look good.

438
00:21:50,574 --> 00:21:53,134
He'll be eating out of your
hand in no time.

439
00:21:53,135 --> 00:21:55,974
That confident in your
abilities?

440
00:21:55,975 --> 00:21:58,334
No. But I'm pretty confident
in yours.

441
00:21:58,335 --> 00:22:02,094
[saleswoman knocks]
Sir, you need to get out of the
dressing room.

442
00:22:02,095 --> 00:22:03,454
We don't allow customers to...

443
00:22:03,455 --> 00:22:06,094
play in the product before
they purchase.

444
00:22:06,095 --> 00:22:09,054
- [Ian] Play?
- Hanky-panky.

445
00:22:09,055 --> 00:22:11,174
[Ian] Oh, you mean sex?

446
00:22:11,175 --> 00:22:12,894
[saleswoman]
Sir! Get out this instant.

447
00:22:12,895 --> 00:22:16,656
- [Ian moans]
- Stop it.

448
00:22:17,776 --> 00:22:18,895
Just a minute.

449
00:22:18,896 --> 00:22:20,276
[saleswoman] Right now!

450
00:22:20,376 --> 00:22:22,455
- We're coming out.
- I'm almost there.

451
00:22:22,456 --> 00:22:23,815
[saleswoman]
I'm going to call security!

452
00:22:23,816 --> 00:22:25,376
Oh, yeah. Ouch!

453
00:22:29,536 --> 00:22:30,656
We'll take it all.

454
00:22:39,377 --> 00:22:41,017
Thank you.

455
00:22:53,537 --> 00:22:54,457
If you hurt her,

456
00:22:54,458 --> 00:22:56,299
I'm going to break off
your favorite appendage.

457
00:23:01,058 --> 00:23:03,217
Sorry, traffic was shit.

458
00:23:03,218 --> 00:23:05,658
- It usually is.
- Yeah.

459
00:23:07,698 --> 00:23:10,697
- Hi.
- Hi.

460
00:23:10,698 --> 00:23:15,057
- So where's the other roomie?
- I'm here.

461
00:23:15,058 --> 00:23:18,258
- [spits]
- [Serena] Are you okay?

462
00:23:18,259 --> 00:23:19,298
Yup.

463
00:23:19,299 --> 00:23:20,619
Lex.

464
00:23:27,059 --> 00:23:29,379
- Lex.
- [Lex coughs]

465
00:23:30,259 --> 00:23:32,259
- You okay?
- Yeah.

466
00:23:33,659 --> 00:23:36,298
So, Blake...
I like your new look.

467
00:23:36,299 --> 00:23:40,019
Thanks. It was Ian.
He was a big help.

468
00:23:40,020 --> 00:23:41,099
It's okay, I guess.

469
00:23:41,100 --> 00:23:42,939
I mean, if you're
into working out.

470
00:23:42,940 --> 00:23:45,260
Which she clearly is.
Look at her.

471
00:23:48,660 --> 00:23:50,699
[gasps] Oh my god.

472
00:23:50,700 --> 00:23:54,859
- I'm so sorry. It slipped.
- It's okay.

473
00:23:54,860 --> 00:23:58,620
No, no, no. It's okay.
It's just workout clothes.

474
00:23:58,621 --> 00:24:03,660
I can always wash them.

475
00:24:03,661 --> 00:24:05,180
That is good.

476
00:24:05,181 --> 00:24:06,621
Fine. I'm fine. I'm good.

477
00:24:12,981 --> 00:24:14,821
Have you kissed her yet?

478
00:24:21,182 --> 00:24:22,862
I'll take that as a no.

479
00:24:24,462 --> 00:24:25,581
She's never kissed another guy.

480
00:24:25,582 --> 00:24:29,622
It would be... wrong.
You know that.

481
00:24:30,622 --> 00:24:32,822
- Wrong...
- Mm hm.

482
00:24:34,422 --> 00:24:36,982
Are you falling for her?

483
00:24:38,462 --> 00:24:41,782
No! Hell no.

484
00:24:41,783 --> 00:24:43,422
Have you seen
her flip-flops?

485
00:24:43,423 --> 00:24:45,103
Jesus.

486
00:24:46,183 --> 00:24:48,103
What's our main rule?

487
00:24:49,023 --> 00:24:50,583
Don't fall for the clients.

488
00:24:52,023 --> 00:24:53,422
Don't...

489
00:24:53,423 --> 00:24:54,782
[scrubs hard]
fall...

490
00:24:54,783 --> 00:24:56,223
[scrubs harder]
for the clients.

491
00:24:58,423 --> 00:24:59,903
I think it's clean, bro.

492
00:25:02,584 --> 00:25:04,104
No dessert?

493
00:25:07,104 --> 00:25:08,943
Blake, can I talk to you
for a second upstairs?

494
00:25:08,944 --> 00:25:10,304
Sure, yeah.

495
00:25:11,984 --> 00:25:13,264
Why?

496
00:25:21,025 --> 00:25:22,864
What's wrong?

497
00:25:22,865 --> 00:25:24,624
[Ian sighs]

498
00:25:24,625 --> 00:25:25,385
Hands up.

499
00:25:25,386 --> 00:25:27,545
Okay, here we go.

500
00:25:32,625 --> 00:25:36,704
You're... wearing a thong.
Hmm.

501
00:25:36,705 --> 00:25:39,465
Yeah. Does the stripping
have a purpose?

502
00:25:40,665 --> 00:25:42,706
Stripping should always
have a purpose.

503
00:25:43,866 --> 00:25:45,785
We need to wash your clothes.

504
00:25:45,786 --> 00:25:47,425
And I needed help with that,
or what?

505
00:25:47,426 --> 00:25:48,786
You have any giant hoodies
in here?

506
00:26:02,827 --> 00:26:03,946
Honest moment.

507
00:26:03,947 --> 00:26:07,746
Why do you wear
clothes like this?

508
00:26:07,747 --> 00:26:10,107
Well, everybody has
their own thing, right?

509
00:26:12,987 --> 00:26:15,226
What?

510
00:26:15,227 --> 00:26:17,426
Nothing. Right.

511
00:26:17,427 --> 00:26:21,186
Tomorrow, me and you, we're
going to work out together.

512
00:26:21,187 --> 00:26:22,746
We need to be at the gym
early, before David,

513
00:26:22,747 --> 00:26:24,227
because we're going to
catch him by surprise.

514
00:26:24,228 --> 00:26:25,827
Adrenaline pumps
when you workout,

515
00:26:25,828 --> 00:26:29,148
and if a hot chick's watching,
even better.

516
00:26:30,188 --> 00:26:32,947
You said hot chick. Not cute.

517
00:26:32,948 --> 00:26:34,147
You're hot. Trust me.

518
00:26:34,148 --> 00:26:37,067
Come here. So tomorrow, when he
sees us, we need to flirt.

519
00:26:37,068 --> 00:26:40,348
The problem is, that you flinch
when I try to touch you.

520
00:26:41,028 --> 00:26:43,427
No, I don't!

521
00:26:43,428 --> 00:26:44,629
I don't.

522
00:26:47,389 --> 00:26:49,388
Okay, see that?

523
00:26:49,389 --> 00:26:50,229
That look right there,

524
00:26:50,230 --> 00:26:51,748
Yeah, that really
pissed-off look.

525
00:26:51,749 --> 00:26:53,748
It sometimes can be
confused with lust.

526
00:26:53,749 --> 00:26:56,228
So maybe I'll just piss you off
the entire workout.

527
00:26:56,229 --> 00:26:58,428
That might work,
but if it doesn't...

528
00:26:58,429 --> 00:27:00,188
I may need to kiss you,

529
00:27:00,189 --> 00:27:01,988
Okay, and if I do,

530
00:27:01,989 --> 00:27:04,828
I need to know that you're not
going to scratch my eyes out,

531
00:27:04,829 --> 00:27:05,949
or knee me in the balls.

532
00:27:05,950 --> 00:27:07,989
I might.

533
00:27:07,990 --> 00:27:09,469
Guess you'll have to find out.

534
00:27:09,470 --> 00:27:13,789
No. Never play a player.

535
00:27:13,790 --> 00:27:17,069
It doesn't work.
Okay, sweet cheeks?

536
00:27:17,070 --> 00:27:18,470
Sweet cheeks?

537
00:27:22,870 --> 00:27:24,030
Sweet cheeks.

538
00:27:26,311 --> 00:27:30,831
Okay, I think lesson time
is over.

539
00:27:32,951 --> 00:27:35,670
I'll be back at 4:30
to pick you up.

540
00:27:35,671 --> 00:27:36,990
- In the morning?
- Mm hm.

541
00:27:36,991 --> 00:27:39,470
Oh, okay.

542
00:27:39,471 --> 00:27:40,550
This better work.

543
00:27:40,551 --> 00:27:41,231
It's never not worked.

544
00:27:41,232 --> 00:27:43,990
So... unless you're having
second thoughts?

545
00:27:43,991 --> 00:27:46,111
No! No, I'm not.

546
00:27:55,192 --> 00:27:58,192
Um, 4:30. Be ready.

547
00:28:07,873 --> 00:28:09,952
Two more!

548
00:28:09,953 --> 00:28:11,233
One more!

549
00:28:15,153 --> 00:28:16,352
You tired?

550
00:28:16,353 --> 00:28:19,072
Exhausted. But I love
that feeling.

551
00:28:19,073 --> 00:28:19,993
It's the best.

552
00:28:19,994 --> 00:28:21,953
- What next?
- I'll stretch you out.

553
00:28:30,914 --> 00:28:32,394
[David] Let's warm up
on the bench.

554
00:28:35,874 --> 00:28:37,714
[indistinct speech]

555
00:28:38,714 --> 00:28:40,233
Stay calm. You're good.

556
00:28:40,234 --> 00:28:42,394
- Relax.
- Ouch.

557
00:28:43,834 --> 00:28:45,553
You're tight.

558
00:28:45,554 --> 00:28:47,114
Feels amazing.

559
00:28:51,915 --> 00:28:52,955
What?

560
00:28:55,235 --> 00:28:56,675
[David] Blake?

561
00:28:57,355 --> 00:28:59,034
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.

562
00:28:59,035 --> 00:29:01,155
Hey David, I didn't
see you there.

563
00:29:04,555 --> 00:29:08,394
Wow... you look...

564
00:29:08,395 --> 00:29:09,915
Exhausted?

565
00:29:09,916 --> 00:29:13,355
Ian really knows how to work me.

566
00:29:13,356 --> 00:29:18,035
You know, if you ever need
help at the gym...

567
00:29:18,036 --> 00:29:19,355
you could always ask me.

568
00:29:19,356 --> 00:29:21,435
Thanks for the offer, but...

569
00:29:21,436 --> 00:29:22,996
David, I think I've got it.

570
00:29:25,196 --> 00:29:26,795
Alright.

571
00:29:26,796 --> 00:29:29,115
The offer stands.

572
00:29:29,116 --> 00:29:30,636
It's really good to see you,
Blake.

573
00:29:31,557 --> 00:29:34,917
You look... good.

574
00:29:36,077 --> 00:29:37,677
Thanks.

575
00:29:46,357 --> 00:29:48,597
Skip the warm up.
Put another one on.

576
00:29:51,758 --> 00:29:54,998
[David pants, grunts]

577
00:29:58,238 --> 00:29:59,558
Wow.

578
00:30:01,598 --> 00:30:03,078
Hell, no.

579
00:30:04,758 --> 00:30:06,118
[loud crash]

580
00:30:09,718 --> 00:30:10,998
Sorry.

581
00:30:15,559 --> 00:30:17,759
That was a really great
first kiss.

582
00:30:21,839 --> 00:30:23,678
Damn it.

583
00:30:23,679 --> 00:30:25,318
[Ian V.O.] I was ruining everything.

584
00:30:25,319 --> 00:30:27,358
I was her first kiss? Me?

585
00:30:27,359 --> 00:30:29,118
The certified man whore?

586
00:30:29,119 --> 00:30:31,438
Not the man she was
in love with.

587
00:30:31,439 --> 00:30:33,759
Can I get you guys anything
else?

588
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:36,759
I don't suppose you moonlight
as a massage therapist.

589
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:39,879
[Ian V.O.] Well done. The line was
delivered perfectly.

590
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:41,599
No, but I am good with my hands.

591
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,559
[Ian V.O.] Doubtful, very doubtful.

592
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:47,679
Great. The sooner I finished
with Shell,

593
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:49,599
the sooner I could...

594
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:51,919
What? Finish with Blake?

595
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:53,639
Let's go, Shell.

596
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:55,400
What if she doesn't want
to go with you?

597
00:30:55,401 --> 00:30:57,800
The last round
goes to the barista.

598
00:30:57,801 --> 00:30:59,161
Ian, I think you should go.

599
00:31:00,201 --> 00:31:02,920
If that's what you want, Shell.

600
00:31:02,921 --> 00:31:05,000
[inaudible dialoge]

601
00:31:05,001 --> 00:31:08,001
[Ian V.O.]  The last round
always goes to the guy.

602
00:31:10,041 --> 00:31:11,321
Blake.

603
00:31:13,241 --> 00:31:16,242
Gabs, Blake!

604
00:31:17,882 --> 00:31:18,802
There you are.

605
00:31:18,803 --> 00:31:21,321
Geez, some people are
trying to sleep.

606
00:31:21,322 --> 00:31:23,081
Aw, really?

607
00:31:23,082 --> 00:31:27,121
Mmmm. Cute hair.

608
00:31:27,122 --> 00:31:28,881
I'm sick, you ass.

609
00:31:28,882 --> 00:31:30,401
Really?

610
00:31:30,402 --> 00:31:31,761
Oh please, you're lucky you
don't have the clap

611
00:31:31,762 --> 00:31:33,321
from all the sex you've had.

612
00:31:33,322 --> 00:31:35,762
And you're afraid
of a little cold.

613
00:31:35,763 --> 00:31:38,082
Yeah, I don't like germs.
What do you want?

614
00:31:38,083 --> 00:31:39,923
Why are you here?

615
00:31:41,003 --> 00:31:42,602
I had an idea for Blake.

616
00:31:42,603 --> 00:31:44,002
She's upstairs.

617
00:31:44,003 --> 00:31:47,402
The pipe in the bathroom broke,
and there was water everywhere.

618
00:31:47,403 --> 00:31:50,042
I tried getting a plumber,
but she said something about

619
00:31:50,043 --> 00:31:52,322
her friend's dad
being a plumber,

620
00:31:52,323 --> 00:31:54,442
and suddenly some tall dude
showed up

621
00:31:54,443 --> 00:31:56,002
and said he could fix it.

622
00:31:56,003 --> 00:31:58,124
[indistinct conversation]

623
00:32:01,964 --> 00:32:03,043
David.

624
00:32:03,044 --> 00:32:04,044
Who?

625
00:32:05,084 --> 00:32:06,204
Thank you, David.

626
00:32:07,204 --> 00:32:08,924
- Ian.
- [sniffles]

627
00:32:09,764 --> 00:32:11,563
Are you sick too?

628
00:32:11,564 --> 00:32:13,804
- I think so.
- Yeah.

629
00:32:16,924 --> 00:32:19,404
Blake?

630
00:32:19,405 --> 00:32:21,804
I'm pretty sure he's gonna
be just fine.

631
00:32:21,805 --> 00:32:23,404
The last thing you need is

632
00:32:23,405 --> 00:32:26,564
to get sick before the big test
on Friday. Right?

633
00:32:26,565 --> 00:32:29,044
Would you want to get out of
here?

634
00:32:29,045 --> 00:32:30,324
We could get ice cream
or something?

635
00:32:30,325 --> 00:32:32,044
So you're not stuck in a sick
house.

636
00:32:32,045 --> 00:32:35,845
He's probably right.
You shouldn't get sick.

637
00:32:36,845 --> 00:32:38,045
You know what?

638
00:32:38,046 --> 00:32:40,005
You're probably already coming
down with something.

639
00:32:40,006 --> 00:32:42,045
I'm sorry, babe. If I had known,

640
00:32:42,046 --> 00:32:44,286
I wouldn't have put my mouth
all over you like that.

641
00:32:47,006 --> 00:32:48,725
Rain check?

642
00:32:48,726 --> 00:32:52,285
I don't want you to get sick
before your big game.

643
00:32:52,286 --> 00:32:57,045
Yeah... that's probably
a good idea.

644
00:32:57,046 --> 00:32:58,725
But you do have my
number now so...

645
00:32:58,726 --> 00:33:01,326
So, call me any time.

646
00:33:01,327 --> 00:33:03,286
- [Ian sniffs and coughs]
- [Blake] Mm hm.

647
00:33:03,287 --> 00:33:05,687
- Good to see you.
- [Blake] You too.

648
00:33:07,087 --> 00:33:08,807
[Ian coughs]

649
00:33:10,967 --> 00:33:13,806
Look, if he asks you
to hang out,

650
00:33:13,807 --> 00:33:15,086
you're busy.

651
00:33:15,087 --> 00:33:16,806
You're always busy
until I say you're free.

652
00:33:16,807 --> 00:33:19,887
Rule number five
clearly states this.

653
00:33:19,888 --> 00:33:21,847
If he tries to call you
or coerce you into hanging out,

654
00:33:21,848 --> 00:33:23,727
No.

655
00:33:23,728 --> 00:33:25,407
Especially when you're
with another guy.

656
00:33:25,408 --> 00:33:28,767
It makes you look easy and makes
our relationship look fake.

657
00:33:28,768 --> 00:33:31,248
- Yeah. Yep.
- Okay?

658
00:33:32,888 --> 00:33:34,728
Alright, um...

659
00:33:37,288 --> 00:33:39,288
I'll see you girls later.

660
00:33:45,489 --> 00:33:47,089
[blows nose]

661
00:33:48,689 --> 00:33:51,048
Lex! Emergency meeting. Now!

662
00:33:51,049 --> 00:33:52,448
[Lex] What up?

663
00:33:52,449 --> 00:33:53,889
It's David.

664
00:33:54,929 --> 00:33:57,208
What is his deal?

665
00:33:57,209 --> 00:34:00,048
She's moving through these steps
way too fast,

666
00:34:00,049 --> 00:34:01,369
and he's falling for it.

667
00:34:01,370 --> 00:34:02,609
Something's up with him.

668
00:34:02,610 --> 00:34:04,049
Can you bring up his file?

669
00:34:04,050 --> 00:34:05,650
You want to look at his file?

670
00:34:08,450 --> 00:34:09,649
[computer chimes]

671
00:34:09,650 --> 00:34:12,289
[Ian V.O.]  David and Blake's
compatibility...

672
00:34:12,290 --> 00:34:14,769
Eighty-seven percent.
Isn't that kind of high?

673
00:34:14,770 --> 00:34:17,129
[Lex V.O.]  That's high.
Really high.

674
00:34:17,130 --> 00:34:19,489
You like her.

675
00:34:19,490 --> 00:34:21,330
[Ian] Yeah, I also like yogurt.

676
00:34:23,171 --> 00:34:25,370
[Lex] Gabi called.

677
00:34:25,371 --> 00:34:26,450
She's worried.

678
00:34:26,451 --> 00:34:27,890
[Ian V.O.]  Gabi called?

679
00:34:27,891 --> 00:34:29,971
Gabi called? She hates you.

680
00:34:31,291 --> 00:34:33,850
Which she said at least
ten times

681
00:34:33,851 --> 00:34:35,970
before finally getting to
the reason behind the call.

682
00:34:35,971 --> 00:34:38,290
She thinks you're hooking up
with Blake.

683
00:34:38,291 --> 00:34:41,570
No. Not happening,
nor will it.

684
00:34:41,571 --> 00:34:43,371
Go get Gabi some soup.
She's sick.

685
00:34:43,372 --> 00:34:47,091
I'm going to sleep off whatever
I'm coming down with...

686
00:34:47,092 --> 00:34:49,131
and hopefully not die.

687
00:34:49,132 --> 00:34:50,971
If I turn into a zombie
at some point,

688
00:34:50,972 --> 00:34:53,131
at least take a couple good
pictures before you
decapitate me.

689
00:34:53,132 --> 00:34:55,292
You have my word.

690
00:34:58,412 --> 00:35:00,252
[moans softly]

691
00:35:02,932 --> 00:35:04,493
[inaudible dialogue]

692
00:35:24,253 --> 00:35:26,893
Hey. You're okay.
It's just a fever.

693
00:35:26,894 --> 00:35:28,173
What are you doing here?

694
00:35:28,174 --> 00:35:33,013
We don't let women or clients
into the house. Ever.

695
00:35:33,014 --> 00:35:34,413
I texted you and called you,

696
00:35:34,414 --> 00:35:37,854
and then threatened Gabi,
who threatened Lex.

697
00:35:39,734 --> 00:35:40,973
That worried about me, huh?

698
00:35:40,974 --> 00:35:42,373
About you?

699
00:35:42,374 --> 00:35:45,774
Oh, no. I'm doing this for
entirely selfish reasons.

700
00:35:45,775 --> 00:35:49,415
If I lose my love coach,
I lose my love.

701
00:35:50,255 --> 00:35:52,335
[moans happily]

702
00:35:58,215 --> 00:36:01,374
Sorry. It just feels so good.

703
00:36:01,375 --> 00:36:03,054
You know what would make
me feel even better right now?

704
00:36:03,055 --> 00:36:04,094
What's that?

705
00:36:04,095 --> 00:36:05,334
You in a hot nurse outfit.

706
00:36:05,335 --> 00:36:07,935
You're such a pig.

707
00:36:07,936 --> 00:36:10,655
Right, but I'm more like one of
those cute little pigs.

708
00:36:10,656 --> 00:36:12,375
- Uh huh.
- You know, the teacup ones.

709
00:36:12,376 --> 00:36:15,655
The ones that are so cute, you
just want to keep it forever,

710
00:36:15,656 --> 00:36:18,575
OK. Come on.

711
00:36:18,576 --> 00:36:19,576
[Ian moans]

712
00:36:19,577 --> 00:36:20,815
We need to get you in the bath.

713
00:36:20,816 --> 00:36:22,135
- No.
- Let's go.

714
00:36:22,136 --> 00:36:24,135
We need to get your fever down.
Come on.

715
00:36:24,136 --> 00:36:26,216
[moans] Just let me die.

716
00:36:33,137 --> 00:36:34,217
Come on.

717
00:36:36,057 --> 00:36:39,937
Never leave a man behind.

718
00:36:41,617 --> 00:36:43,137
All right. In the bath.

719
00:36:43,937 --> 00:36:45,137
Come on.

720
00:36:48,938 --> 00:36:49,978
[sharp exhale]

721
00:36:52,738 --> 00:36:55,217
Jesus Christ. Why is it so cold?

722
00:36:55,218 --> 00:36:56,138
It's not cold.

723
00:36:56,139 --> 00:36:58,897
It just feels like that
because you have a fever,

724
00:36:58,898 --> 00:37:01,858
which we need to get down.

725
00:37:04,578 --> 00:37:05,697
Alright, well, this is up there

726
00:37:05,698 --> 00:37:07,057
for the second worst day
of my life.

727
00:37:07,058 --> 00:37:09,658
Yeah, what's the first?

728
00:37:09,659 --> 00:37:11,659
The day I almost died.

729
00:37:13,619 --> 00:37:15,978
I think we could be best
friends.

730
00:37:15,979 --> 00:37:17,178
- Is that right?
- Mm hm.

731
00:37:17,179 --> 00:37:21,378
I only have two, Gabs and Lex.

732
00:37:21,379 --> 00:37:25,098
But I'm killing them off soon,
though, so there's a vacancy.

733
00:37:25,099 --> 00:37:27,698
Oh, well, that's good to know.

734
00:37:27,699 --> 00:37:29,418
But you have to cook for me.

735
00:37:29,419 --> 00:37:32,739
I can do that. I cooked for my
dad and brother all the time.

736
00:37:32,740 --> 00:37:36,019
- Really?
- Mm hm.

737
00:37:36,020 --> 00:37:38,419
Is your brother
as pretty as you?

738
00:37:38,420 --> 00:37:40,180
He's dead.

739
00:37:43,100 --> 00:37:46,820
I'm sorry. Dying sucks.

740
00:37:47,820 --> 00:37:50,100
Yeah, it really does.

741
00:37:58,141 --> 00:38:00,260
Blake?

742
00:38:00,261 --> 00:38:01,501
Yup.

743
00:38:02,221 --> 00:38:04,301
I like you.

744
00:38:06,341 --> 00:38:07,821
I like you, too.

745
00:38:42,223 --> 00:38:44,062
Clearly you're feeling better.

746
00:38:44,063 --> 00:38:46,343
Nope. Still a little delirious.

747
00:38:49,423 --> 00:38:52,142
Where we at with that
nurse outfit?

748
00:38:52,143 --> 00:38:55,703
No nurse costume.

749
00:38:55,704 --> 00:38:59,024
I think you're healed
and I have to get to practice.

750
00:38:59,584 --> 00:39:00,584
Fine.

751
00:39:05,104 --> 00:39:08,383
Yeah, that... it's morning.
It happens.

752
00:39:08,384 --> 00:39:11,423
- [Blake] Yeah...
- That's not helping, Blake.

753
00:39:11,424 --> 00:39:15,025
Sorry. I'm just gonna...

754
00:39:18,745 --> 00:39:20,504
Sorry, I just wanted to say

755
00:39:20,505 --> 00:39:23,064
that you need to stay in bed,

756
00:39:23,065 --> 00:39:25,344
and that I left you two Tylenol.

757
00:39:25,345 --> 00:39:26,105
You should take those.

758
00:39:26,106 --> 00:39:29,144
And I will bring you food
after practice.

759
00:39:29,145 --> 00:39:30,504
Food?

760
00:39:30,505 --> 00:39:32,344
Food.

761
00:39:32,345 --> 00:39:35,505
You should probably take care
of that?

762
00:39:35,506 --> 00:39:38,786
You know, a good nurse would
stay and help me take care of
that.

763
00:39:46,826 --> 00:39:47,826
Hey, Lex.

764
00:39:51,026 --> 00:39:52,186
Blake?

765
00:39:55,627 --> 00:39:56,986
Please tell me you got food for
me, too.

766
00:39:56,987 --> 00:40:00,186
I did. I got your favorite,
I think.

767
00:40:00,187 --> 00:40:02,507
Chow mein with pork, right?

768
00:40:06,347 --> 00:40:07,507
I got you soup.

769
00:40:17,508 --> 00:40:18,667
Sorry, is it hot?

770
00:40:18,668 --> 00:40:19,628
Yeah, it's freakishly hot.

771
00:40:19,629 --> 00:40:21,067
Sorry, I just picked it up.

772
00:40:21,068 --> 00:40:22,668
You know what?

773
00:40:26,028 --> 00:40:27,987
Can you blow?

774
00:40:27,988 --> 00:40:29,947
You want me to blow
on your soup?

775
00:40:29,948 --> 00:40:31,147
Are you twelve?

776
00:40:31,148 --> 00:40:33,508
Shit, it's really hot.

777
00:40:35,188 --> 00:40:36,989
- [blows]
- [whistles]

778
00:40:38,349 --> 00:40:40,188
You blow well.

779
00:40:40,189 --> 00:40:43,069
Coming from you I'll take that
as the highest of compliments.

780
00:40:46,269 --> 00:40:47,389
So what are we watching?

781
00:40:52,349 --> 00:40:54,909
[voices on television]

782
00:41:00,910 --> 00:41:01,910
Ian?

783
00:41:05,150 --> 00:41:06,430
What up, sweet cheeks?

784
00:41:10,430 --> 00:41:12,350
[Ian sighs]

785
00:41:15,110 --> 00:41:16,390
Out with it.

786
00:41:18,871 --> 00:41:23,990
Do you ever think that what you
thought you wanted isn't

787
00:41:23,991 --> 00:41:27,150
actually what you want anymore?

788
00:41:27,151 --> 00:41:29,670
You mean... like you've lived
your whole life in pursuit of

789
00:41:29,671 --> 00:41:33,110
one goal, and suddenly the goal
changes?

790
00:41:33,111 --> 00:41:36,111
Yes, that's exactly what I mean.

791
00:41:37,031 --> 00:41:38,750
That's life, Blake.

792
00:41:38,751 --> 00:41:39,992
Is it?

793
00:41:41,392 --> 00:41:43,191
Doesn't that feel
so wishy washy,

794
00:41:43,192 --> 00:41:47,271
to go from one thing to another?

795
00:41:47,272 --> 00:41:49,391
That's all part of college.

796
00:41:49,392 --> 00:41:51,151
Discovering yourself.

797
00:41:51,152 --> 00:41:54,511
Realizing,"Hey, maybe
wearing flip-flops from 1992

798
00:41:54,512 --> 00:41:55,711
isn't as cool as I
originally thought.

799
00:41:55,712 --> 00:41:56,871
[laughing]
They not mine, you jerk.

800
00:41:56,872 --> 00:41:59,311
So you stole someone's
flip-flops and decided,

801
00:41:59,312 --> 00:42:00,472
"Hey, let's bring these back."?

802
00:42:00,473 --> 00:42:03,952
No. They were my brother's
and...

803
00:42:03,953 --> 00:42:08,112
after he died... I don't know...

804
00:42:08,113 --> 00:42:10,792
I just wanted to be close to
him.

805
00:42:10,793 --> 00:42:13,112
So you raided his closet?

806
00:42:13,113 --> 00:42:16,592
Everything smelled like him.
It was comforting.

807
00:42:16,593 --> 00:42:17,912
Until you had to wash them.

808
00:42:17,913 --> 00:42:20,273
Until my dad forced me
to wash them, yes.

809
00:42:21,914 --> 00:42:24,274
It's only been two
years. I still miss him.

810
00:42:27,434 --> 00:42:29,074
How'd he die?

811
00:42:29,874 --> 00:42:31,194
Car accident.

812
00:42:32,314 --> 00:42:33,474
Drunk driver.

813
00:42:36,394 --> 00:42:40,353
It's weird. It used to piss me
off talking about it,

814
00:42:40,354 --> 00:42:45,034
but for some reason, when I
started wearing his clothes,

815
00:42:45,035 --> 00:42:48,314
it's like... I don't know...

816
00:42:48,315 --> 00:42:51,075
it almost feels like
invisible armor.

817
00:42:57,435 --> 00:43:02,034
Well, I hate to break it to
you, but these flip flops

818
00:43:02,035 --> 00:43:03,315
are anything but invisible.

819
00:43:03,316 --> 00:43:04,476
Shut up!

820
00:43:08,756 --> 00:43:09,915
Did you just lick me?

821
00:43:09,916 --> 00:43:10,995
Yeah.

822
00:43:10,996 --> 00:43:11,796
First rule of kindergarten.

823
00:43:11,797 --> 00:43:14,355
- Did you miss that class?
- I must have missed it.

824
00:43:14,356 --> 00:43:15,955
You must have.

825
00:43:15,956 --> 00:43:17,315
It's right up there with fire
safety.

826
00:43:17,316 --> 00:43:19,996
So, it's a little important.

827
00:43:23,677 --> 00:43:25,316
Wow. Okay.

828
00:43:25,317 --> 00:43:27,036
I told you never to play
the player.

829
00:43:27,037 --> 00:43:31,876
I'm just following your rules.
That's all.

830
00:43:31,877 --> 00:43:33,637
Sometimes, I hate my rules.

831
00:43:35,157 --> 00:43:36,317
Me, too.

832
00:43:55,998 --> 00:43:57,038
[Ian laughs]

833
00:44:07,039 --> 00:44:09,198
[Lex] Whoa...

834
00:44:09,199 --> 00:44:12,798
[Ian] We're training, man.
We're training.

835
00:44:12,799 --> 00:44:14,878
We're setting up for a date
night for her and David.

836
00:44:14,879 --> 00:44:16,638
He's moving through the steps
so fast

837
00:44:16,639 --> 00:44:18,599
I figured he'd do something.

838
00:44:20,359 --> 00:44:21,998
[Blake] I think I got it.

839
00:44:21,999 --> 00:44:23,958
Thank you, Ian.

840
00:44:23,959 --> 00:44:26,759
Blake. Wait. I'm sorry.

841
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:28,519
I'm sorry I got carried away.

842
00:44:28,520 --> 00:44:29,599
I'll help you with David

843
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:32,119
and then hopefully we can...

844
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:33,480
be friends.

845
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:36,079
Friends?

846
00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:38,519
[Ian V.O.] Funny how words that are
supposed to make people happy,

847
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:41,359
kind of make you want to punch
a tree like Chuck Norris.

848
00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:43,839
Yeah, friends.

849
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:45,000
[Blake smirks]

850
00:44:47,001 --> 00:44:48,241
Friends it is.

851
00:44:50,961 --> 00:44:52,321
Hmm.

852
00:45:08,282 --> 00:45:10,801
You know, this isn't a sting,
right?

853
00:45:10,802 --> 00:45:12,761
You can take
your sunglasses off.

854
00:45:12,762 --> 00:45:16,081
Plus, we're indoors.

855
00:45:16,082 --> 00:45:17,321
You look ridiculous.

856
00:45:17,322 --> 00:45:19,441
You said not to make eye
contact,

857
00:45:19,442 --> 00:45:22,081
and that's happens to be
very difficult for me.

858
00:45:22,082 --> 00:45:24,881
So, sunglasses.

859
00:45:24,882 --> 00:45:27,121
Dude, just look at his crotch.
He'll eat that shit up.

860
00:45:27,122 --> 00:45:29,962
I'm not looking. No.

861
00:45:29,963 --> 00:45:31,482
Do you have any other pointers

862
00:45:31,483 --> 00:45:36,162
that don't involve me
staring at his... groin?

863
00:45:36,163 --> 00:45:39,642
I think you can do better than
that Miss Nursing Major.

864
00:45:39,643 --> 00:45:41,122
Nope. Not doing it.

865
00:45:41,123 --> 00:45:43,883
- Penis?
- Shut up.

866
00:45:44,723 --> 00:45:46,482
If you can't say it,

867
00:45:46,483 --> 00:45:47,922
should you really be playing
with it?

868
00:45:47,923 --> 00:45:49,403
- I mean, God...
- Oh, hell.

869
00:45:49,404 --> 00:45:50,883
Come here.

870
00:45:50,884 --> 00:45:53,683
Eventually you'll have to get
past the point of being

871
00:45:53,684 --> 00:45:55,443
afraid of your own sexuality.

872
00:45:55,444 --> 00:45:58,843
And something tells me that
David's not super great in bed,

873
00:45:58,844 --> 00:46:00,963
so you need to gain a little
bit of confidence

874
00:46:00,964 --> 00:46:02,723
so you can
tell him what you want.

875
00:46:02,724 --> 00:46:05,043
What makes you think that?

876
00:46:05,044 --> 00:46:08,043
I mean, I'm a virgin. So...

877
00:46:08,044 --> 00:46:09,683
I'm gonna suck.

878
00:46:09,684 --> 00:46:11,124
Impossible. Believe me.

879
00:46:11,125 --> 00:46:12,924
David, on the other hand...

880
00:46:12,925 --> 00:46:14,204
The last girlfriend we
interviewed,

881
00:46:14,205 --> 00:46:16,644
said, that although
he earned an A for effort,

882
00:46:16,645 --> 00:46:20,284
on multiple occasions she
studied for a test during.

883
00:46:20,285 --> 00:46:22,524
- During sex?
- Mm hm.

884
00:46:22,525 --> 00:46:25,364
That's so impersonal.

885
00:46:25,365 --> 00:46:29,764
Shouldn't you be putting
your whole mind into it?

886
00:46:29,765 --> 00:46:32,366
Your body? Your soul?

887
00:46:35,486 --> 00:46:36,845
We're getting off track.

888
00:46:36,846 --> 00:46:39,765
The point is, you may need to
give him direction.

889
00:46:39,766 --> 00:46:44,285
Meaning you may need to say
words like "penis". The end.

890
00:46:44,286 --> 00:46:46,605
Fine. Penis.

891
00:46:46,606 --> 00:46:47,406
Louder.

892
00:46:47,407 --> 00:46:48,646
Penis!

893
00:46:51,166 --> 00:46:52,406
Oh, hey man. Didn't see you
there.

894
00:46:52,407 --> 00:46:54,447
- Hey.
- How's it going?

895
00:46:57,167 --> 00:46:59,406
I thought you all were
more casual.

896
00:46:59,407 --> 00:47:02,487
No. We made it official last
night. Right, sweet cheeks?

897
00:47:10,287 --> 00:47:14,087
Sorry. It's just...
it was a really great night.

898
00:47:14,088 --> 00:47:16,247
Yeah, a great night.

899
00:47:16,248 --> 00:47:19,847
I'm happy for you, Blake.

900
00:47:19,848 --> 00:47:22,087
Really happy for you.

901
00:47:22,088 --> 00:47:24,088
We should get out of here.

902
00:47:33,649 --> 00:47:34,649
[chuckles]

903
00:47:34,650 --> 00:47:36,448
What? Why are you laughing?

904
00:47:36,449 --> 00:47:38,528
David just gave me the finger.

905
00:47:38,529 --> 00:47:41,328
Really? That's kind of rude.
Why would he do that?

906
00:47:41,329 --> 00:47:42,728
Because his hands were free...

907
00:47:42,729 --> 00:47:46,129
And mine weren't.

908
00:47:57,890 --> 00:48:00,969
Nice. I like.

909
00:48:00,970 --> 00:48:04,050
Good, because I haven't worn
them in forever.

910
00:48:07,410 --> 00:48:10,329
[Gabi] Guys. You just gonna
stand there and eye-screw each
other,

911
00:48:10,330 --> 00:48:11,770
or can we get the snacks?

912
00:48:12,490 --> 00:48:13,930
Be there in a sec!

913
00:48:31,371 --> 00:48:32,811
Perfect.

914
00:48:35,251 --> 00:48:37,331
You down for a little game, boy?

915
00:48:37,332 --> 00:48:39,011
Did you just call me boy?

916
00:48:39,012 --> 00:48:40,051
I did.

917
00:48:40,052 --> 00:48:41,291
You do know I played pro
football.

918
00:48:41,292 --> 00:48:43,691
I didn't want to have to do
this,

919
00:48:43,692 --> 00:48:45,532
I'm pretty much good
at every sport.

920
00:48:46,812 --> 00:48:48,211
[Lex coughs]

921
00:48:48,212 --> 00:48:50,491
Except for golf.

922
00:48:50,492 --> 00:48:52,171
- [Lex coughs]
- [lan] Really?

923
00:48:52,172 --> 00:48:54,611
I'm pretty sure we
established that ice-skating

924
00:48:54,612 --> 00:48:55,452
is not a sport.

925
00:48:55,453 --> 00:48:57,652
You are serving.

926
00:48:57,653 --> 00:49:00,852
Let me just get comfortable,
real quick.

927
00:49:00,853 --> 00:49:02,292
Oh it's like that, is it?

928
00:49:02,293 --> 00:49:03,773
Sure is.

929
00:49:04,653 --> 00:49:06,093
Two can play at that game.

930
00:49:10,333 --> 00:49:11,333
[clears throat]

931
00:49:11,973 --> 00:49:13,052
- Let's go.
- Ready.

932
00:49:13,053 --> 00:49:16,252
Yeah, Let's go Are you ready?

933
00:49:16,253 --> 00:49:17,533
Oh shit.

934
00:49:17,534 --> 00:49:19,533
My money's on Blake.

935
00:49:19,534 --> 00:49:23,173
You know he was nominated
for the Heisman, right?

936
00:49:23,174 --> 00:49:24,614
Is that a hard thing to get?

937
00:49:35,334 --> 00:49:37,494
That's my girl.
That's my girl.

938
00:49:44,695 --> 00:49:47,214
[Lex cheers]

939
00:49:47,215 --> 00:49:48,415
High five!

940
00:49:53,895 --> 00:49:55,735
[Blake] What happened?

941
00:49:57,215 --> 00:49:58,215
What happened? Are you okay?

942
00:49:58,216 --> 00:49:59,775
- Yeah.
- Your knee?

943
00:49:59,776 --> 00:50:03,816
Come on Lex, let's go
grab an ice pack?

944
00:50:06,136 --> 00:50:07,656
- I'm fine.
- Come on.

945
00:50:09,376 --> 00:50:11,136
Here, put weight on me.

946
00:50:12,296 --> 00:50:14,375
- You okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

947
00:50:14,376 --> 00:50:16,776
It's just an old injury.

948
00:50:18,136 --> 00:50:19,776
Prop it up.

949
00:50:19,777 --> 00:50:21,497
Shit.

950
00:50:24,457 --> 00:50:27,296
Oh, it's starting to swell.
What happened to your knee?

951
00:50:27,297 --> 00:50:29,897
- Can you keep a secret?
- Yes.

952
00:50:34,177 --> 00:50:35,816
I'm Superman.

953
00:50:35,817 --> 00:50:39,896
I injured it saving two old
ladies and their cats.

954
00:50:39,897 --> 00:50:43,057
He really is a hero. That poor
little boy would have died.

955
00:50:43,058 --> 00:50:45,017
Can you imagine what that would
have done to that father?

956
00:50:45,018 --> 00:50:47,617
After losing his wife?
It was amazing, Ian.

957
00:50:47,618 --> 00:50:50,257
- Don't sell yourself short.
- Okay, enough Gabs.

958
00:50:50,258 --> 00:50:51,178
We get it.

959
00:50:51,179 --> 00:50:52,738
Here. Thank you.

960
00:50:54,698 --> 00:50:57,377
- Put this on it.
- Thanks.

961
00:50:57,378 --> 00:50:59,177
Look, don't listen to her.

962
00:50:59,178 --> 00:51:00,537
I'm no hero.

963
00:51:00,538 --> 00:51:02,818
Here I am, being bitter
that I can't play football,

964
00:51:02,819 --> 00:51:05,098
and this kid could have died.

965
00:51:05,099 --> 00:51:08,138
Well, you sort of did, too.

966
00:51:08,139 --> 00:51:11,338
In a way, you lost part
of what made you you.

967
00:51:11,339 --> 00:51:13,818
You know?

968
00:51:13,819 --> 00:51:16,458
I got past it, you know?

969
00:51:16,459 --> 00:51:18,298
I don't want you to think I'm
one of those broken guys

970
00:51:18,299 --> 00:51:20,739
living the old glory days
of football.

971
00:51:21,859 --> 00:51:24,979
How did you get over it?

972
00:51:24,980 --> 00:51:26,419
It was the kid?

973
00:51:26,420 --> 00:51:30,259
He came and visited me
in the hospital

974
00:51:30,260 --> 00:51:33,179
I called him by his last name,
Montgomery, or Little Monty,

975
00:51:33,180 --> 00:51:34,619
because this kid was tiny.

976
00:51:34,620 --> 00:51:37,059
And apparently he's still afraid
of the dark...

977
00:51:37,060 --> 00:51:39,139
So, he brought me this bear,

978
00:51:39,140 --> 00:51:41,659
smartly named "Bear".

979
00:51:41,660 --> 00:51:42,460
[both laugh]

980
00:51:42,461 --> 00:51:47,940
His mom, unfortunately, passed
away earlier that year from
cancer.

981
00:51:47,941 --> 00:51:50,500
She gave him that bear.

982
00:51:50,501 --> 00:51:52,620
It was supposed to be his
protection bear,

983
00:51:52,621 --> 00:51:54,461
to make him feel safe.

984
00:51:55,501 --> 00:51:57,140
He gave it to me.

985
00:51:57,141 --> 00:51:59,461
Said he didn't need it anymore,
because he had me.

986
00:52:03,141 --> 00:52:05,542
That bear lives the high life
in my room, I'll tell you that.

987
00:52:07,062 --> 00:52:09,981
And what about Monty?
Where is he now?

988
00:52:09,982 --> 00:52:12,501
He's actually going to be one
badass football player.

989
00:52:12,502 --> 00:52:15,541
His dad sends me his schedule
for his practices and games.

990
00:52:15,542 --> 00:52:18,701
I've been to a few.
He's not bad.

991
00:52:18,702 --> 00:52:20,262
You really are Superman.

992
00:52:22,142 --> 00:52:23,702
To one person, yeah.

993
00:52:24,462 --> 00:52:25,783
Two.

994
00:52:30,903 --> 00:52:32,703
Guys? You up for a movie?

995
00:52:34,223 --> 00:52:35,943
Yeah, we'll be right there.

996
00:52:43,423 --> 00:52:45,663
You guys. No. Just not
happening.

997
00:52:45,664 --> 00:52:47,224
Shower, or no couch time.

998
00:52:48,424 --> 00:52:50,303
Sure. We'll go shower.

999
00:52:50,304 --> 00:52:51,864
Not together!

1000
00:53:07,705 --> 00:53:10,185
- What?
- What do you mean "what"?

1001
00:53:19,785 --> 00:53:20,825
[doorbell rings]

1002
00:53:24,545 --> 00:53:25,985
[David] Hey, is Blake here?

1003
00:53:26,905 --> 00:53:29,825
[Gabi] Hey, Blake?

1004
00:53:29,826 --> 00:53:31,466
David's here to see you.

1005
00:53:36,626 --> 00:53:37,906
What are you waiting for?

1006
00:53:42,706 --> 00:53:46,305
Even if it takes All my life.

1007
00:53:46,306 --> 00:53:49,466
Some days I think it might.

1008
00:53:49,467 --> 00:53:53,146
It's always raining on me.

1009
00:53:53,147 --> 00:53:55,986
Always raining on me.

1010
00:53:55,987 --> 00:53:59,506
You know you can cut
Like a knife.

1011
00:53:59,507 --> 00:54:02,226
You cut like a knife.

1012
00:54:02,227 --> 00:54:05,746
And I'm just a puddle baby.

1013
00:54:05,747 --> 00:54:07,986
Just a puddle baby.

1014
00:54:07,987 --> 00:54:12,107
Oh oh.

1015
00:54:12,108 --> 00:54:15,067
Even if it takes All my life.

1016
00:54:15,068 --> 00:54:19,547
It's always easy
If it's black and white.

1017
00:54:19,548 --> 00:54:22,947
We could never leave.

1018
00:54:22,948 --> 00:54:25,907
The color inside the lines

1019
00:54:25,908 --> 00:54:28,188
[man on TV]  You've ruined me
for other women, Gia.

1020
00:54:29,909 --> 00:54:30,989
[woman on TV] Good.

1021
00:54:32,469 --> 00:54:35,948
I can hardly breathe.

1022
00:54:35,949 --> 00:54:38,629
If you're not by my side

1023
00:54:42,189 --> 00:54:43,988
I'm going to make some popcorn.

1024
00:54:43,989 --> 00:54:46,148
But your knee.

1025
00:54:46,149 --> 00:54:49,629
It's just popcorn.
I think I'll be fine.

1026
00:54:50,630 --> 00:54:52,990
- You sure?
- Yeah, I'm good.

1027
00:54:58,390 --> 00:55:00,709
[Ian] Blake, I'm fine,
go watch the movie.

1028
00:55:00,710 --> 00:55:02,430
- [microwave beeps]
- [David] Not Blake.

1029
00:55:04,910 --> 00:55:07,189
Something I can help you with?

1030
00:55:07,190 --> 00:55:12,310
I get it. She's "yours"
a least for now.

1031
00:55:12,311 --> 00:55:15,510
But, listen to me,
we have a history.

1032
00:55:15,511 --> 00:55:18,310
And that is not something you
can compete with.

1033
00:55:18,311 --> 00:55:21,911
Not now, not ever.

1034
00:55:23,991 --> 00:55:27,390
Shit. How am I going to
compete with the tree house?

1035
00:55:27,391 --> 00:55:28,830
Ooh!

1036
00:55:28,831 --> 00:55:30,791
You smug bastard.

1037
00:55:32,272 --> 00:55:37,191
Look, you don't deserve her.
You never will.

1038
00:55:37,192 --> 00:55:39,271
Oh, but you do?

1039
00:55:39,272 --> 00:55:44,272
Mr. Washed-up Has-been,
who can't keep it in his pants?

1040
00:55:45,992 --> 00:55:49,191
Well, at least I know I don't
deserve her.

1041
00:55:49,192 --> 00:55:52,752
At least I wake up everyday,
knowing I'm the lucky one.

1042
00:55:52,753 --> 00:55:56,392
I wasn't aware it took this much
brainpower to make popcorn.

1043
00:55:56,393 --> 00:55:59,232
Hey, I actually gotta get going.

1044
00:55:59,233 --> 00:56:01,672
But, next Thursday seven
o'clock, right?

1045
00:56:01,673 --> 00:56:02,992
- Yeah. I won't.
- Don't forget.

1046
00:56:02,993 --> 00:56:05,552
Dad's really excited to see you.
It'll be fun.

1047
00:56:05,553 --> 00:56:06,793
[Blake] Cool.

1048
00:56:07,513 --> 00:56:09,233
It's good to see you.

1049
00:56:10,553 --> 00:56:11,753
[David] Bye, Ian.

1050
00:56:16,434 --> 00:56:17,954
- [Ian] Blake...
- [Blake] What?

1051
00:56:20,234 --> 00:56:21,354
What do you want, Ian?

1052
00:56:23,754 --> 00:56:24,754
[scoffs]

1053
00:56:27,674 --> 00:56:28,834
Exactly what I thought.

1054
00:56:30,834 --> 00:56:32,393
[Ian V.O.]  You. That's
what I should have said

1055
00:56:32,394 --> 00:56:34,474
when she asked me what I wanted.

1056
00:56:34,475 --> 00:56:36,875
Instead, I opened my mouth
and nothing came out.

1057
00:56:46,155 --> 00:56:48,674
[Lex] I hate mornings.

1058
00:56:48,675 --> 00:56:49,635
[Ian] Yep.

1059
00:56:49,636 --> 00:56:50,636
[cell phone chimes]

1060
00:56:50,955 --> 00:56:52,314
[Blake V.O.]  FREAKING OUT!

1061
00:56:52,315 --> 00:56:55,995
[reading] "Use your indoor
voice. Lex can hear you,

1062
00:56:55,996 --> 00:56:59,835
also he hates mornings."

1063
00:56:59,836 --> 00:57:01,635
[Blake V.O]  David's dad bailed.
It's just us.

1064
00:57:01,636 --> 00:57:03,475
I've never been on a date.

1065
00:57:03,476 --> 00:57:05,156
Shit.

1066
00:57:06,436 --> 00:57:07,396
Something wrong?

1067
00:57:07,397 --> 00:57:09,675
Yeah, I gotta take Blake
on this fake date

1068
00:57:09,676 --> 00:57:11,276
so she doesn't
puke all over David.

1069
00:57:16,557 --> 00:57:18,556
"Be at the house at six,

1070
00:57:18,557 --> 00:57:21,236
have Gabs help you get ready.

1071
00:57:21,237 --> 00:57:23,876
She is the boss."

1072
00:57:23,877 --> 00:57:24,917
- Woop!
- [phone chimes]

1073
00:57:29,077 --> 00:57:30,797
[Lex] I hate mornings.

1074
00:57:33,717 --> 00:57:35,996
[mumbles]
Did I say that already?

1075
00:57:35,997 --> 00:57:37,437
[Ian] I think so.

1076
00:57:37,438 --> 00:57:38,837
Blake, come on.

1077
00:57:38,838 --> 00:57:40,877
It can't be that bad. Let's go.

1078
00:57:40,878 --> 00:57:42,317
[Blake] No, it is.

1079
00:57:42,318 --> 00:57:43,878
Very bad.

1080
00:57:49,758 --> 00:57:51,357
Damn.

1081
00:57:51,358 --> 00:57:53,637
Is it that bad?

1082
00:57:53,638 --> 00:57:55,957
[Ian]
Yes. It's... horrific.

1083
00:57:55,958 --> 00:58:01,078
How could you possibly attract
a man in this... monstrosity?

1084
00:58:01,079 --> 00:58:03,398
[Blake]
Monstrosity, huh?

1085
00:58:03,399 --> 00:58:06,119
Huh. Is that why
you keep staring at it?

1086
00:58:07,319 --> 00:58:08,918
I literally can't look away.

1087
00:58:08,919 --> 00:58:11,958
Don't even think I could if
I tried.

1088
00:58:11,959 --> 00:58:14,518
Fake date. Remember?

1089
00:58:14,519 --> 00:58:16,038
This is a fake date,

1090
00:58:16,039 --> 00:58:17,718
so I don't make a
complete fool out of myself

1091
00:58:17,719 --> 00:58:19,399
when David and I go out
on Thursday.

1092
00:58:19,400 --> 00:58:21,159
Okay, but the second we leave
this the house,

1093
00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:23,639
you've got to pretend it's real.

1094
00:58:23,640 --> 00:58:25,319
I'll coach you, and
hopefully by Thursday

1095
00:58:25,320 --> 00:58:27,999
we'll get news of a tragic
accident that David's lost

1096
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:29,240
all functionality of his penis.

1097
00:58:31,960 --> 00:58:33,640
Are you sure I look okay?

1098
00:58:34,840 --> 00:58:37,439
No, Blake.

1099
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:38,680
You look phenomenal.

1100
00:58:42,081 --> 00:58:46,280
And if that bastard doesn't
say those exact words or better

1101
00:58:46,281 --> 00:58:48,440
he's not deserving.

1102
00:58:48,441 --> 00:58:49,761
Okay?

1103
00:58:51,241 --> 00:58:53,321
- Shall we?
- Yes.

1104
00:58:59,241 --> 00:59:00,961
[Blake]
We having a picnic or something?

1105
00:59:00,962 --> 00:59:02,201
Rule number nine, Blake.

1106
00:59:02,202 --> 00:59:04,321
If a guy wants to surprise
the shit out of you,

1107
00:59:04,322 --> 00:59:05,441
don't question it.

1108
00:59:05,442 --> 00:59:08,281
Just tell him how awesome he is.

1109
00:59:08,282 --> 00:59:10,441
Okay, well you are awesome,

1110
00:59:10,442 --> 00:59:12,721
and, the best fake date ever.

1111
00:59:12,722 --> 00:59:15,241
You know what? We need to
pretend this is real, remember?

1112
00:59:15,242 --> 00:59:17,121
Or what's the point?

1113
00:59:17,122 --> 00:59:20,322
I don't know, maybe a fun night?
Some good food?

1114
00:59:22,403 --> 00:59:23,643
Our ride.

1115
00:59:25,923 --> 00:59:27,562
We're canoeing?

1116
00:59:27,563 --> 00:59:30,802
Towards the restaurant, yeah.

1117
00:59:30,803 --> 00:59:36,882
Okay, I have to admit to you,
that's pretty cool.

1118
00:59:36,883 --> 00:59:39,522
Although I don't know how much
help I'm going to be in this
dress.

1119
00:59:39,523 --> 00:59:41,443
Cross my heart, I won't
look up your skirt.

1120
00:59:43,164 --> 00:59:44,724
Rule number seven?

1121
00:59:46,884 --> 00:59:48,324
Men always lie.

1122
00:59:48,844 --> 00:59:50,484
[laughs]

1123
01:00:08,085 --> 01:00:09,965
[inaudible]

1124
01:00:19,885 --> 01:00:21,764
I'm Julio. I'll be your server
this evening.

1125
01:00:21,765 --> 01:00:23,325
Can I get you started
with anything?

1126
01:00:23,326 --> 01:00:25,126
Yeah, can we have two
margaritas on the rocks.

1127
01:00:27,726 --> 01:00:29,205
Rule number ten.

1128
01:00:29,206 --> 01:00:32,325
Only two drinks.
Not three, not four.

1129
01:00:32,326 --> 01:00:33,485
I know you can get nervous,

1130
01:00:33,486 --> 01:00:35,445
but after you go past two
drinks,

1131
01:00:35,446 --> 01:00:36,485
you can lose your inhibitions,

1132
01:00:36,486 --> 01:00:38,725
and things can get out of
control real fast.

1133
01:00:38,726 --> 01:00:40,206
Two is a safe number.

1134
01:00:41,326 --> 01:00:42,365
And, yeah, eat up,

1135
01:00:42,366 --> 01:00:44,647
'cause you're going to need
that for your cardio later.

1136
01:00:45,367 --> 01:00:46,766
Cardio?

1137
01:00:46,767 --> 01:00:48,806
Yeah, Sex. With David?

1138
01:00:48,807 --> 01:00:52,486
I, uh, I haven't really
thought about that.

1139
01:00:52,487 --> 01:00:54,366
[clears throat] Tonight's
special is...

1140
01:00:54,367 --> 01:00:57,166
Can you give us a minute?

1141
01:00:57,167 --> 01:00:58,286
Thanks.

1142
01:00:58,287 --> 01:01:02,007
You know it's going to
happen eventually, right.

1143
01:01:02,847 --> 01:01:05,247
Yeah, I don't know.

1144
01:01:05,248 --> 01:01:06,367
I don't really like thinking
about it

1145
01:01:06,368 --> 01:01:12,047
because, honestly, it kinda
makes me want to puke.

1146
01:01:12,048 --> 01:01:14,567
No, it's just... I'm going
to be horrible,

1147
01:01:14,568 --> 01:01:18,887
I'm going make a fool of
myself and he's going to hate
it.

1148
01:01:18,888 --> 01:01:22,327
Rule number six.
Guys never hate sex.

1149
01:01:22,328 --> 01:01:23,527
If he's not getting off,

1150
01:01:23,528 --> 01:01:26,288
it's either because he mistook
numbing gel for K-Y,

1151
01:01:26,289 --> 01:01:30,128
or he's gay and you lack
the goods to get him there.

1152
01:01:30,129 --> 01:01:33,529
- K-Y?
- Still need a minute?

1153
01:01:34,409 --> 01:01:35,409
Yeah.

1154
01:01:36,809 --> 01:01:39,568
If you can't even talk
about sex with David,

1155
01:01:39,569 --> 01:01:43,048
why are you even going
on a date with him?

1156
01:01:43,049 --> 01:01:45,368
I mean, why use my help?

1157
01:01:45,369 --> 01:01:49,970
It's just... don't you think
it's moving so fast?

1158
01:01:50,810 --> 01:01:51,530
I wanted him to notice me,

1159
01:01:51,531 --> 01:01:55,530
not take me to bed two weeks
after your little plan worked.

1160
01:01:57,850 --> 01:02:00,009
Well then, just say no.

1161
01:02:00,010 --> 01:02:02,569
Rules number twelve, thirteen
and fourteen

1162
01:02:02,570 --> 01:02:07,411
clearly say that you can
absolutely say no.

1163
01:02:10,411 --> 01:02:12,370
So how did you get into this?

1164
01:02:12,371 --> 01:02:13,971
How did you start Wingmen?

1165
01:02:17,171 --> 01:02:19,970
Actually, it was my sister.

1166
01:02:19,971 --> 01:02:24,210
She was, at the time, crushing
really hard

1167
01:02:24,211 --> 01:02:26,130
on a guy from my team, and
when I say hard,

1168
01:02:26,131 --> 01:02:29,451
I mean she drove her car
into a mailbox

1169
01:02:29,452 --> 01:02:32,291
when we had him over for
Fourth of July.

1170
01:02:32,292 --> 01:02:37,851
The sad thing is, he was
into her too.

1171
01:02:37,852 --> 01:02:41,051
But she was always too
shy and insecure to ever
meet him half way.

1172
01:02:41,052 --> 01:02:43,851
And I was always too selfish
to give a shit.

1173
01:02:43,852 --> 01:02:49,092
So, she settled for a guy
who thinks that video games

1174
01:02:49,093 --> 01:02:51,892
are like the Olympics.

1175
01:02:51,893 --> 01:02:54,452
So there's two types
of settling.

1176
01:02:54,453 --> 01:02:58,532
There's the type that is
cute, a match made in heaven,

1177
01:02:58,533 --> 01:03:00,452
where you look at a couple
holding hands in public,

1178
01:03:00,453 --> 01:03:05,292
and you think, "Is that girl
legally blind?"

1179
01:03:05,293 --> 01:03:07,532
And then there's the other
type of settling,

1180
01:03:07,533 --> 01:03:09,813
which is the insecure type,

1181
01:03:09,814 --> 01:03:11,453
where a girl never reaches
her full potential

1182
01:03:11,454 --> 01:03:16,254
and settles for someone
less than she's worth.

1183
01:03:18,414 --> 01:03:20,453
My sister deserved better.

1184
01:03:20,454 --> 01:03:23,453
And if she had just an ounce
of confidence,

1185
01:03:23,454 --> 01:03:25,173
that would have
changed her life.

1186
01:03:25,174 --> 01:03:28,013
Hell if she even had one
rule from my playbook,

1187
01:03:28,014 --> 01:03:29,254
it would have changed her life.

1188
01:03:31,175 --> 01:03:33,975
Well, then... To the playbook.

1189
01:03:34,975 --> 01:03:36,335
To the playbook.

1190
01:03:41,815 --> 01:03:43,734
Okay, the final rule.

1191
01:03:43,735 --> 01:03:45,414
If you're feeling like
the date's going good,

1192
01:03:45,415 --> 01:03:47,134
and you want to continue,

1193
01:03:47,135 --> 01:03:49,575
it's up to you
to invite them in.

1194
01:03:50,135 --> 01:03:51,295
Okay.

1195
01:03:54,656 --> 01:03:58,015
- Ian?
- Yeah.

1196
01:03:58,016 --> 01:03:59,336
Do you want to come in?

1197
01:04:02,056 --> 01:04:04,496
Well, that depends.

1198
01:04:05,296 --> 01:04:06,375
On what?

1199
01:04:06,376 --> 01:04:07,815
Do you have refreshments?

1200
01:04:07,816 --> 01:04:10,655
You can't just invite someone in
expecting something to happen,

1201
01:04:10,656 --> 01:04:14,536
you have to have coffee,
drink, late night movie...

1202
01:04:14,537 --> 01:04:16,057
It's kind of an unwritten rule.

1203
01:04:20,857 --> 01:04:23,297
All of the above, how's that?

1204
01:04:25,697 --> 01:04:26,857
I accept.

1205
01:04:51,738 --> 01:04:54,339
Screw David. You're mine.

1206
01:07:31,906 --> 01:07:33,985
Gabs, were you going
to suffocate me?

1207
01:07:33,986 --> 01:07:36,705
No. Blake's a friend, and now
it's gonna be awkward.

1208
01:07:36,706 --> 01:07:38,345
Not to mention she's a
freaking client.

1209
01:07:38,346 --> 01:07:39,545
What the hell were you thinking?

1210
01:07:39,546 --> 01:07:42,146
That I really like her,
David's a douche, and I'd

1211
01:07:42,147 --> 01:07:44,107
rather die than let him touch
her.

1212
01:07:45,067 --> 01:07:46,226
You mean you aren't bailing?

1213
01:07:46,227 --> 01:07:48,106
Do I look like I'm jumping out
the window and making up

1214
01:07:48,107 --> 01:07:49,986
a story about my dog?

1215
01:07:49,987 --> 01:07:51,026
You don't have a dog.

1216
01:07:51,027 --> 01:07:52,067
I know.

1217
01:07:53,587 --> 01:07:54,827
[sighs]

1218
01:07:55,947 --> 01:07:57,986
Where is Blake?

1219
01:07:57,987 --> 01:08:00,346
Baking. She got up at the ass
crack of dawn,

1220
01:08:00,347 --> 01:08:05,227
went for a four mile run, then
decided to make you pancakes.

1221
01:08:05,228 --> 01:08:07,307
- Pancakes?
- Mm hm.

1222
01:08:07,308 --> 01:08:08,908
Mm. Alright.

1223
01:08:10,468 --> 01:08:12,387
- Hi.
- Are you making pancakes?

1224
01:08:12,388 --> 01:08:13,747
I am. Good morning.

1225
01:08:13,748 --> 01:08:15,547
- Good morning.
- You have to save two for Lex.

1226
01:08:15,548 --> 01:08:17,147
He was freaking out that you
missed

1227
01:08:17,148 --> 01:08:18,307
your normal meeting at the
bench.

1228
01:08:18,308 --> 01:08:22,428
Shit. I didn't mean to sleep in.

1229
01:08:22,429 --> 01:08:25,148
I know. You looked exhausted,
though,

1230
01:08:25,149 --> 01:08:26,548
and I didn't want to wake you.

1231
01:08:26,549 --> 01:08:29,188
I was exhausted, sweet cheeks,
but in the best type of way,

1232
01:08:29,189 --> 01:08:31,869
the type where you probably
should take a week off of
school.

1233
01:08:32,429 --> 01:08:33,429
Mm hm.

1234
01:08:33,430 --> 01:08:35,548
Think of the possibilities.

1235
01:08:35,549 --> 01:08:37,028
This could change your life.

1236
01:08:37,029 --> 01:08:38,988
Maybe it already has.

1237
01:08:38,989 --> 01:08:41,349
I could get really addicted
to your smell.

1238
01:08:42,349 --> 01:08:43,350
Not in the kitchen, guys.

1239
01:08:43,351 --> 01:08:46,349
I will seriously grab
the pillow from upstairs.

1240
01:08:46,350 --> 01:08:47,389
Now break apart.

1241
01:08:47,390 --> 01:08:49,709
For once, I'm not cooking,

1242
01:08:49,710 --> 01:08:51,509
so I want to sit
and enjoy my coffee

1243
01:08:51,510 --> 01:08:53,510
without watching real-life porn.

1244
01:09:03,711 --> 01:09:05,151
So, who got laid last night?

1245
01:09:09,231 --> 01:09:12,310
You know you can't hook up
with clients.

1246
01:09:12,311 --> 01:09:15,230
Yeah, that contract got
terminated

1247
01:09:15,231 --> 01:09:16,670
the second she screamed my name.

1248
01:09:16,671 --> 01:09:18,190
So, no David?

1249
01:09:18,191 --> 01:09:19,991
- Yes.
- No.

1250
01:09:20,791 --> 01:09:21,830
Did you say, "Yes?"

1251
01:09:21,831 --> 01:09:23,390
He's still a friend.

1252
01:09:23,391 --> 01:09:26,871
And I'm still gonna go to
dinner with him.

1253
01:09:26,872 --> 01:09:29,472
I'm a friend and we screwed
about four times last night.

1254
01:09:30,712 --> 01:09:32,831
I'm sorry, was that all
it was to you?

1255
01:09:32,832 --> 01:09:35,911
Hell, no. Which is another
reason why I don't think

1256
01:09:35,912 --> 01:09:38,351
you should be going on a
date with Douchepants.

1257
01:09:38,352 --> 01:09:42,591
Look, it's fine, okay?

1258
01:09:42,592 --> 01:09:44,552
I promise you, it is fine.

1259
01:09:45,152 --> 01:09:46,272
Okay.

1260
01:09:46,273 --> 01:09:48,552
No, no, no, no, no, no...
Put me down.

1261
01:09:48,553 --> 01:09:49,752
We'll be back.

1262
01:09:49,753 --> 01:09:52,032
[Blake] Put me down,
I want a pancake.

1263
01:09:52,033 --> 01:09:54,033
- [Ian] No pancakes for you.
- [Blake] I'm hungry.

1264
01:09:57,153 --> 01:09:59,592
[Gabi clears throat]

1265
01:09:59,593 --> 01:10:01,392
Are you going to read your
compatibility report with Blake?

1266
01:10:01,393 --> 01:10:02,593
Haven't decided yet.

1267
01:10:05,553 --> 01:10:06,793
What are you doing home?

1268
01:10:06,794 --> 01:10:07,953
I live here,

1269
01:10:07,954 --> 01:10:09,473
unless you're kicking me out,

1270
01:10:09,474 --> 01:10:13,153
which you may do
after reading the report.

1271
01:10:13,154 --> 01:10:14,794
- It's that bad?
- Hm.

1272
01:10:16,434 --> 01:10:18,113
[Ian sighs]

1273
01:10:18,114 --> 01:10:20,713
"Stats show that if Client A,
Blake, were to embark on

1274
01:10:20,714 --> 01:10:23,313
a relationship with Client B,
Ian,

1275
01:10:23,314 --> 01:10:27,474
there is a 50% chance that
one or both hearts will be
broken

1276
01:10:27,475 --> 01:10:29,514
and that the relationship will
end within two months

1277
01:10:29,515 --> 01:10:31,954
once the honeymoon stage
is done."

1278
01:10:31,955 --> 01:10:35,435
- [sighs] Okay. Hm.
- [Lex] David's file.

1279
01:10:38,235 --> 01:10:40,674
"Report shows that if Client A
were to embark on a relationship

1280
01:10:40,675 --> 01:10:44,554
with Client C, there is an 87%
chance that the relationship

1281
01:10:44,555 --> 01:10:47,595
will be a success and it will
bloom."

1282
01:10:49,076 --> 01:10:51,075
[Lex] Blake and David.

1283
01:10:51,076 --> 01:10:52,356
It is what it is, you know.

1284
01:10:56,436 --> 01:10:57,796
Not on my watch.

1285
01:11:00,556 --> 01:11:01,675
- You know what?
- What?

1286
01:11:01,676 --> 01:11:03,355
I think you should fake
the flu tonight.

1287
01:11:03,356 --> 01:11:05,716
Ian. Look at me.

1288
01:11:06,916 --> 01:11:07,476
I can't.

1289
01:11:07,477 --> 01:11:09,676
It reminds me that, tonight,
he's going to be looking at you,

1290
01:11:09,677 --> 01:11:12,276
and every time I think
about him in the same damn room,

1291
01:11:12,277 --> 01:11:15,116
I want to cut off his shooting
hand off

1292
01:11:15,117 --> 01:11:16,117
and bury it in Gab's yard.

1293
01:11:16,118 --> 01:11:17,916
Okay, listen,

1294
01:11:17,917 --> 01:11:20,556
the sooner I can get tonight's
dinner over with,

1295
01:11:20,557 --> 01:11:23,876
and tell him how happy I am
with you,

1296
01:11:23,877 --> 01:11:27,596
the sooner we can get this whole
David thing behind us.

1297
01:11:27,597 --> 01:11:30,157
Okay, just go.

1298
01:11:30,158 --> 01:11:32,557
I won't be the
crazy-ass boyfriend

1299
01:11:32,558 --> 01:11:35,237
who's jealous and drives you
to your date.

1300
01:11:35,238 --> 01:11:36,038
So just go.

1301
01:11:36,039 --> 01:11:38,277
- Alright.
- I'll see you tonight?

1302
01:11:38,278 --> 01:11:40,357
I'll come by your place after.

1303
01:11:40,358 --> 01:11:41,557
Okay.

1304
01:11:41,558 --> 01:11:44,237
You know? Don't let him touch
you.

1305
01:11:44,238 --> 01:11:45,357
Okay. Not even your back.

1306
01:11:45,358 --> 01:11:46,477
If he's touching your back,

1307
01:11:46,478 --> 01:11:47,797
it means he's thinking
of touching your ass.

1308
01:11:47,798 --> 01:11:49,437
- Alright?
- Mm hm.

1309
01:11:49,438 --> 01:11:51,039
I promise.

1310
01:11:51,919 --> 01:11:54,039
- Okay.
- Trust me?

1311
01:11:55,239 --> 01:11:56,319
Yeah.

1312
01:11:57,519 --> 01:11:59,199
Go get 'em.

1313
01:12:01,759 --> 01:12:02,958
Tell me the truth,

1314
01:12:02,959 --> 01:12:04,758
did you make the compatibility
report for me and Blake

1315
01:12:04,759 --> 01:12:07,959
because you knew that one day
I'd jump into commitment-land?

1316
01:12:09,039 --> 01:12:10,399
I...

1317
01:12:11,400 --> 01:12:12,759
input your information

1318
01:12:12,760 --> 01:12:16,439
the moment I saw things start
to change between you and Blake.

1319
01:12:16,440 --> 01:12:19,800
Hell, the minute I noticed the
linger.

1320
01:12:20,440 --> 01:12:21,400
Come again?

1321
01:12:21,401 --> 01:12:24,279
The linger. You lingered.

1322
01:12:24,280 --> 01:12:26,319
You leaned.

1323
01:12:26,320 --> 01:12:28,919
Every muscle in your body tensed
when she walked into the room.

1324
01:12:28,920 --> 01:12:30,959
I've never seen you
linger like that.

1325
01:12:30,960 --> 01:12:32,441
[sighs]

1326
01:12:35,481 --> 01:12:36,560
Shit.

1327
01:12:36,561 --> 01:12:38,240
I'm a 50, David's an 87.

1328
01:12:38,241 --> 01:12:40,001
And he's with her right now.

1329
01:12:42,761 --> 01:12:43,841
I'll drive.

1330
01:12:45,961 --> 01:12:48,680
She's facing him.

1331
01:12:48,681 --> 01:12:53,162
She's not sitting across from,
but to the side.

1332
01:12:56,162 --> 01:12:58,401
Bastard may have skills
after all.

1333
01:12:58,402 --> 01:12:59,881
- You want to see?
- No.

1334
01:12:59,882 --> 01:13:01,041
The absolute last thing
I want to see

1335
01:13:01,042 --> 01:13:03,281
is how close he's sitting
to her,

1336
01:13:03,282 --> 01:13:05,001
or if he's strategically
dropping his napkin

1337
01:13:05,002 --> 01:13:07,081
so he can inch his chair closer.

1338
01:13:07,082 --> 01:13:08,362
[scoffs]

1339
01:13:13,402 --> 01:13:15,282
[phone chimes]

1340
01:13:15,283 --> 01:13:17,482
It's scary how well
you know the male gender.

1341
01:13:17,483 --> 01:13:18,602
[Blake V.O.]  Dinner is over.

1342
01:13:18,603 --> 01:13:19,922
Ordering dessert,
then I'll be home.

1343
01:13:19,923 --> 01:13:21,363
Don't worry.

1344
01:13:22,083 --> 01:13:24,042
We should go.

1345
01:13:24,043 --> 01:13:25,603
Hey, we should go.

1346
01:13:38,084 --> 01:13:39,804
[Ian V.O]  Hope you enjoyed
your dessert.

1347
01:13:41,444 --> 01:13:42,564
Get me drunk.

1348
01:13:45,524 --> 01:13:47,763
How does it feel?

1349
01:13:47,764 --> 01:13:50,483
You mean getting my heart
broken?

1350
01:13:50,484 --> 01:13:52,963
Gee, I don't know Lex.

1351
01:13:52,964 --> 01:13:53,964
It kinda tickles,

1352
01:13:53,965 --> 01:13:56,765
like getting a feather
stuck in my ass.

1353
01:13:58,405 --> 01:14:00,364
I mean being on the other side.

1354
01:14:00,365 --> 01:14:02,405
The one who gets rejected.

1355
01:14:04,725 --> 01:14:06,244
He's a better fit.

1356
01:14:06,245 --> 01:14:08,684
The numbers don't lie.

1357
01:14:08,685 --> 01:14:10,365
- The numbers. Right.
- [lan] Yeah.

1358
01:14:12,325 --> 01:14:16,725
Look, the numbers don't
take into account chemistry.

1359
01:14:16,726 --> 01:14:18,205
Computers can't do that.

1360
01:14:18,206 --> 01:14:21,125
Look. We're still technically
under contract with Blake,

1361
01:14:21,126 --> 01:14:22,325
per our agreement.

1362
01:14:22,326 --> 01:14:28,325
As long as she's gone on a date
with David, and kissed him...

1363
01:14:28,326 --> 01:14:30,285
the contract's technically done.

1364
01:14:30,286 --> 01:14:32,565
So, terminate the contract,

1365
01:14:32,566 --> 01:14:36,326
collect payment
and delete her information.

1366
01:14:37,847 --> 01:14:40,166
Think about this,

1367
01:14:40,167 --> 01:14:42,166
by ignoring her, you run the
risk that...

1368
01:14:42,167 --> 01:14:46,367
That what? That I lose her
forever?

1369
01:14:47,767 --> 01:14:49,087
She's already gone.

1370
01:14:51,247 --> 01:14:52,567
She made her decision.

1371
01:14:53,687 --> 01:14:55,327
She kissed him.

1372
01:14:56,167 --> 01:14:58,048
[doorbell rings]

1373
01:14:59,368 --> 01:15:00,568
I'm gonna get that.

1374
01:15:02,728 --> 01:15:05,967
Hey, is Ian here?
I need to talk to...

1375
01:15:05,968 --> 01:15:07,327
Blake, you should go.

1376
01:15:07,328 --> 01:15:09,607
No, I'm not leaving until I
talk to him.

1377
01:15:09,608 --> 01:15:11,727
Lex, he doesn't
understand what he saw.

1378
01:15:11,728 --> 01:15:13,247
I just need to explain.

1379
01:15:13,248 --> 01:15:14,727
Fine. Explain to me.

1380
01:15:14,728 --> 01:15:16,207
Why the hell was some other guy
kissing you?

1381
01:15:16,208 --> 01:15:18,448
I'd much rather talk to Ian
about that.

1382
01:15:18,449 --> 01:15:20,688
Tough shit. You've got me.

1383
01:15:20,689 --> 01:15:22,408
Okay. He kissed me, Lex!

1384
01:15:22,409 --> 01:15:23,848
And you kissed him back.

1385
01:15:23,849 --> 01:15:26,048
Am I missing some important
detail here,

1386
01:15:26,049 --> 01:15:28,488
where you pushed him away,
kneed him in the balls?

1387
01:15:28,489 --> 01:15:30,248
I did... push him away...

1388
01:15:30,249 --> 01:15:31,608
You hesitated.

1389
01:15:31,609 --> 01:15:34,048
You must be proud of yourself.

1390
01:15:34,049 --> 01:15:35,528
The first girl to take
down Ian Hunter

1391
01:15:35,529 --> 01:15:37,608
and you just toss him
aside the second your

1392
01:15:37,609 --> 01:15:38,848
childhood crush looks your way.

1393
01:15:38,849 --> 01:15:40,889
David and I are just friends,

1394
01:15:40,890 --> 01:15:41,610
that's it.

1395
01:15:41,611 --> 01:15:42,849
And you and Ian are what?

1396
01:15:42,850 --> 01:15:44,089
You kissed another dude.

1397
01:15:44,090 --> 01:15:46,129
Whatever you and Ian had is
over.

1398
01:15:46,130 --> 01:15:48,449
Expect the contract
termination in the morning.

1399
01:15:48,450 --> 01:15:51,250
And honestly, I think
you're a bitch.

1400
01:16:07,731 --> 01:16:09,210
You hear that?

1401
01:16:09,211 --> 01:16:11,010
Kinda hard not to.

1402
01:16:11,011 --> 01:16:12,890
I didn't mean to call
her a bitch.

1403
01:16:12,891 --> 01:16:14,290
I was just kinda caught
in the moment.

1404
01:16:14,291 --> 01:16:19,091
Hey. If she cares about you,
she's going to be back.

1405
01:16:20,051 --> 01:16:26,531
Three, two, one...

1406
01:16:26,532 --> 01:16:28,012
[doorbell rings]

1407
01:16:36,532 --> 01:16:39,211
No. Don't talk for two seconds
so I can speak.

1408
01:16:39,212 --> 01:16:40,771
Tell Ian I need to talk to him

1409
01:16:40,772 --> 01:16:43,693
and I won't stop calling
until he hears me out.

1410
01:16:45,333 --> 01:16:46,333
I love him.

1411
01:16:48,613 --> 01:16:50,333
I love him.

1412
01:16:52,773 --> 01:16:54,332
Good answer.

1413
01:16:54,333 --> 01:16:55,573
We'll be in touch.

1414
01:16:59,213 --> 01:17:02,693
[breathing heavily]

1415
01:17:02,694 --> 01:17:04,414
- [grunts]
- [man] Two more.

1416
01:17:17,734 --> 01:17:18,894
[Blake] Can I talk to you?

1417
01:17:22,694 --> 01:17:25,094
Did you get my email?
We're done.

1418
01:17:25,095 --> 01:17:26,334
No, we're not.

1419
01:17:26,335 --> 01:17:28,454
Ian, I love you.

1420
01:17:28,455 --> 01:17:32,294
I love you so much, and I'm
sorry about the kiss.

1421
01:17:32,295 --> 01:17:34,774
But I was confused.

1422
01:17:34,775 --> 01:17:36,574
It had nothing to do with you.

1423
01:17:36,575 --> 01:17:37,775
No shit.

1424
01:17:39,015 --> 01:17:40,854
Look, you did us both a favor.

1425
01:17:40,855 --> 01:17:43,574
Our projected success rate
wasn't even close to being good.

1426
01:17:43,575 --> 01:17:46,096
You should probably go
be with who you wanted
all along.

1427
01:17:47,456 --> 01:17:49,135
You know all of that's changed.

1428
01:17:49,136 --> 01:17:50,495
It was the sex.

1429
01:17:50,496 --> 01:17:52,215
A chemical reaction occurs

1430
01:17:52,216 --> 01:17:53,176
that emotionally bonds you
with someone

1431
01:17:53,177 --> 01:17:54,575
when you have sex with them.

1432
01:17:54,576 --> 01:17:57,015
Give it a few days,
it'll wear off.

1433
01:17:57,016 --> 01:17:59,015
So will I.

1434
01:17:59,016 --> 01:18:01,255
Ian, I'm telling you I love you,

1435
01:18:01,256 --> 01:18:03,095
and you're just...

1436
01:18:03,096 --> 01:18:04,535
You're gonna push me away?

1437
01:18:04,536 --> 01:18:06,296
Don't do that.

1438
01:18:06,297 --> 01:18:10,697
Don't. Don't you care
about me a tiny bit?

1439
01:18:15,617 --> 01:18:17,376
Your boyfriend's waiting.

1440
01:18:17,377 --> 01:18:19,776
My boyfriend is standing
right in front of me.

1441
01:18:19,777 --> 01:18:21,097
Not anymore.

1442
01:18:23,017 --> 01:18:24,456
Ian.

1443
01:18:24,457 --> 01:18:25,857
Be happy, okay?

1444
01:18:25,858 --> 01:18:27,538
Hey Ian, good to see you buddy.

1445
01:18:28,418 --> 01:18:29,538
How are you?

1446
01:18:31,498 --> 01:18:33,017
I'm out of here.

1447
01:18:33,018 --> 01:18:34,897
And David?
Treat her right.

1448
01:18:34,898 --> 01:18:37,497
I certainly will.
Just like I did last night.

1449
01:18:37,498 --> 01:18:39,777
What? Ian!

1450
01:18:39,778 --> 01:18:41,257
Disrespect her like that again
and I'll kill you.

1451
01:18:41,258 --> 01:18:43,257
Dude, it was a joke.

1452
01:18:43,258 --> 01:18:45,857
I'm kidding. You have said
the same stuff.

1453
01:18:45,858 --> 01:18:48,179
You said the same... Babe.

1454
01:18:52,819 --> 01:18:53,858
Ian!

1455
01:18:53,859 --> 01:18:56,258
Ian, wait.
Please let me talk.

1456
01:18:56,259 --> 01:18:59,178
Wait, Please.

1457
01:18:59,179 --> 01:19:03,218
Look, I only kissed David
to make sure of my feelings.

1458
01:19:03,219 --> 01:19:05,338
It felt wrong and horrible

1459
01:19:05,339 --> 01:19:08,379
and it just confirmed to me
that I love you.

1460
01:19:08,380 --> 01:19:10,300
Was that before or after you
screwed him?

1461
01:19:11,500 --> 01:19:13,699
Are you kidding me?

1462
01:19:13,700 --> 01:19:16,259
How does it go from kissing
to sex?

1463
01:19:16,260 --> 01:19:18,980
I basically walked you through
the steps, Blake.

1464
01:19:23,300 --> 01:19:24,860
Are we done?

1465
01:19:26,020 --> 01:19:27,460
So done.

1466
01:19:48,942 --> 01:19:52,182
[Ian V.O.] I know what you're thinking,
I played this all wrong.

1467
01:19:53,622 --> 01:19:55,421
I should call her...

1468
01:19:55,422 --> 01:19:58,701
No. She kissed David.

1469
01:19:58,702 --> 01:20:00,062
He's the right fit for her.

1470
01:20:01,182 --> 01:20:02,182
I won't call her...

1471
01:20:03,582 --> 01:20:06,142
But I miss her.

1472
01:20:07,182 --> 01:20:09,262
Fuck it, I'll text her...

1473
01:20:10,143 --> 01:20:13,182
I miss you.

1474
01:20:13,183 --> 01:20:15,702
[Blake V.O]  You rejected me
when I said I love you.

1475
01:20:15,703 --> 01:20:18,182
Go. To. Hell. Smiley face.

1476
01:20:18,183 --> 01:20:19,422
[Ian V.O.] A smiley face?

1477
01:20:19,423 --> 01:20:23,022
Well, a smiley face means
there's was still hope. Right?

1478
01:20:23,023 --> 01:20:24,942
But we all know a smiley
face does not mean

1479
01:20:24,943 --> 01:20:26,862
"I want to have sex with you";

1480
01:20:26,863 --> 01:20:30,342
sometimes a smiley face just
means "I'm happy."

1481
01:20:30,343 --> 01:20:32,463
But that mean she was happy for
me to go to hell?

1482
01:20:32,464 --> 01:20:35,344
Or just... happy?

1483
01:20:36,824 --> 01:20:39,423
Get up. Stop moping around.

1484
01:20:39,424 --> 01:20:40,703
I love you like a brother,

1485
01:20:40,704 --> 01:20:42,944
but this compatibility report
is ruining your life.

1486
01:20:44,424 --> 01:20:46,183
It says I'd break her
heart in two months.

1487
01:20:46,184 --> 01:20:49,943
And with David, on the other
hand, she'd be in bliss.

1488
01:20:49,944 --> 01:20:55,025
Yeah... well, I may have...
tweaked the numbers a bit...

1489
01:20:56,385 --> 01:20:57,305
Lex, what did you do?

1490
01:20:57,306 --> 01:20:59,024
What I had to.

1491
01:20:59,025 --> 01:21:00,624
Remember when
we first started Wingmen?

1492
01:21:00,625 --> 01:21:02,145
The oath we both took?

1493
01:21:04,545 --> 01:21:05,865
[Ian groans]

1494
01:21:06,785 --> 01:21:09,104
Never fall in love.

1495
01:21:09,105 --> 01:21:10,624
What, on the same drunken
evening,

1496
01:21:10,625 --> 01:21:11,985
what did you make me
swear to you?

1497
01:21:14,706 --> 01:21:16,225
That you wouldn't let me.

1498
01:21:16,226 --> 01:21:17,545
Mm hm.

1499
01:21:17,546 --> 01:21:18,986
And why is that?

1500
01:21:20,906 --> 01:21:23,506
Because I'm sick of losing shit.

1501
01:21:24,866 --> 01:21:27,185
Yeah.

1502
01:21:27,186 --> 01:21:28,906
Man, you were supposed to
have my back.

1503
01:21:32,026 --> 01:21:34,146
So, I did.

1504
01:21:34,147 --> 01:21:36,586
I changed the numbers, man.
Just a little.

1505
01:21:36,587 --> 01:21:37,547
But enough for you to bail.

1506
01:21:37,548 --> 01:21:40,066
Don't you get it?
It doesn't matter.

1507
01:21:40,067 --> 01:21:43,267
The numbers can be manipulated.
But the heart... can't.

1508
01:21:46,587 --> 01:21:48,026
Damn poet.

1509
01:21:48,027 --> 01:21:49,747
That's how you get so much ass.

1510
01:21:52,147 --> 01:21:53,908
I know where David is partying
tonight,

1511
01:21:55,348 --> 01:21:56,427
and word on the street is

1512
01:21:56,428 --> 01:21:59,867
he's at it alone while Gabs
hangs out with Blake.

1513
01:21:59,868 --> 01:22:00,907
Care for a drink?

1514
01:22:00,908 --> 01:22:02,347
What?

1515
01:22:02,348 --> 01:22:03,947
I wish, Mr. Goody Two-Shoes,

1516
01:22:03,948 --> 01:22:06,067
"Oh look a butterfly,
Let's hug a tree,"

1517
01:22:06,068 --> 01:22:09,347
was actually as bad
as I wish he was.

1518
01:22:09,348 --> 01:22:12,467
If that were the case, yeah.
But it's not.

1519
01:22:12,468 --> 01:22:15,228
Remember one of the most
important stats?

1520
01:22:15,229 --> 01:22:18,108
Guys typically mess up within
two weeks of a new relationship.

1521
01:22:18,109 --> 01:22:19,988
And why is that?

1522
01:22:19,989 --> 01:22:21,468
God complex.

1523
01:22:21,469 --> 01:22:26,148
God complex. Translation:
"I stole a sexy piece of ass

1524
01:22:26,149 --> 01:22:29,028
from Ian Hunter, so I
can get any chick I want,

1525
01:22:29,029 --> 01:22:29,989
so come hither, my pretties,

1526
01:22:29,990 --> 01:22:31,949
while I show you
what a real man can do."

1527
01:22:33,509 --> 01:22:35,068
You silver-tongued devil.

1528
01:22:35,069 --> 01:22:37,070
Get your shit together.
We leave in fifteen.

1529
01:23:04,791 --> 01:23:06,110
[Ian V.O]  I'm downtown
and need a ride.

1530
01:23:06,111 --> 01:23:09,231
Is it normal to see
Pinocchio after doing ‘shrooms?

1531
01:23:13,391 --> 01:23:15,150
[Blake V.O.]  I'll be right
there.

1532
01:23:15,151 --> 01:23:18,632
[Ian V.O.]  And just like that,
I'm back in the game.

1533
01:23:26,752 --> 01:23:28,431
[Blake] You don't look
high as a kite.

1534
01:23:28,432 --> 01:23:29,791
Did you want to get a drink?

1535
01:23:29,792 --> 01:23:31,911
No, I don't want to get a drink.

1536
01:23:31,912 --> 01:23:33,431
You do realize the last time
I saw you,

1537
01:23:33,432 --> 01:23:34,352
you almost killed David

1538
01:23:34,353 --> 01:23:37,031
and somehow simultaneously
broke my heart in the process.

1539
01:23:37,032 --> 01:23:38,912
And now, you're just gonna
call me drunk...

1540
01:23:38,913 --> 01:23:43,352
I'm not drunk. Okay.

1541
01:23:43,353 --> 01:23:44,512
I have a confession to make.

1542
01:23:44,513 --> 01:23:46,833
And I know it's not particularly
romantic, but...

1543
01:23:47,993 --> 01:23:49,513
I love you.

1544
01:23:51,753 --> 01:23:56,633
Did you just throw out
an "I love you"? While high?

1545
01:23:57,593 --> 01:23:59,553
I lied about being high.

1546
01:23:59,554 --> 01:24:02,474
And yeah, I did, because
it's true.

1547
01:24:04,434 --> 01:24:08,873
I've fallen ass-over-heels
in love with you.

1548
01:24:08,874 --> 01:24:10,553
I desperately want you.

1549
01:24:10,554 --> 01:24:14,273
I need you. I fuckin' crave you.

1550
01:24:14,274 --> 01:24:15,913
I was scared.

1551
01:24:15,914 --> 01:24:18,233
- You're scared?
- Yeah.

1552
01:24:18,234 --> 01:24:19,994
Ian Hunter is scared?

1553
01:24:19,995 --> 01:24:21,994
I'm scared that you'd be
settling for me,

1554
01:24:21,995 --> 01:24:24,234
when David is the one you've
wanted all along.

1555
01:24:24,235 --> 01:24:27,474
You know that I'd be settling
with him.

1556
01:24:27,475 --> 01:24:29,714
Ian, I wouldn't settling
with you.

1557
01:24:29,715 --> 01:24:31,555
You know that.

1558
01:24:36,995 --> 01:24:38,794
I promise you this.

1559
01:24:38,795 --> 01:24:42,395
It will only ever be you, Blake.

1560
01:24:42,396 --> 01:24:44,355
You're the only person I want
to wake up with...

1561
01:24:44,356 --> 01:24:46,956
the only person I want to spend
my nights with.

1562
01:24:47,956 --> 01:24:49,116
I love you.

1563
01:24:52,396 --> 01:24:53,596
I love you.

1564
01:24:56,556 --> 01:24:57,916
Just kiss him already.

1565
01:25:08,237 --> 01:25:09,916
[Ian V.O.]  So this is the part
of the story

1566
01:25:09,917 --> 01:25:10,996
where we cheer to new beginnings

1567
01:25:10,997 --> 01:25:12,636
and lots of happy endings.

1568
01:25:12,637 --> 01:25:16,076
And while I pride myself
on the success of Wingman, Inc.

1569
01:25:16,077 --> 01:25:17,796
I've learned first hand
that sometimes...

1570
01:25:17,797 --> 01:25:19,797
Are you talking in voice-over
again?

1571
01:25:20,637 --> 01:25:21,796
Sure was, sweet cheeks.

1572
01:25:21,797 --> 01:25:24,078
Do you mind?

1573
01:25:25,558 --> 01:25:26,478
As I was saying,

1574
01:25:26,479 --> 01:25:28,037
sometimes you've got
to forget all the rules

1575
01:25:28,038 --> 01:25:31,037
and follow your heart.

1576
01:25:31,038 --> 01:25:32,997
Oh that's too bad...

1577
01:25:32,998 --> 01:25:37,158
I was hoping we could do rule
number eighteen again.

1578
01:25:41,598 --> 01:25:42,758
[Ian] Alright, let's go.

1579
01:25:43,519 --> 01:25:44,519
[Blake] Ian.

1580
01:25:48,159 --> 01:25:50,518
Did Ian talk to you?

1581
01:25:50,519 --> 01:25:54,078
He talks to me everyday,
you need to be more specific.

1582
01:25:54,079 --> 01:25:56,478
Now that he's with Blake he
wants to limit his Wingmen work

1583
01:25:56,479 --> 01:25:59,438
and said I can work with you
guys.

1584
01:25:59,439 --> 01:26:00,879
Not a chance in hell.

1585
01:26:01,709 --> 01:26:04,335
Oh, there's a chance.

1586
01:26:07,520 --> 01:26:09,879
Yeah, a chance you'll
poison my Lucky Charms

1587
01:26:09,880 --> 01:26:10,920
and we'll kill each other.

1588
01:26:14,000 --> 01:26:15,042
Gabi!

1589
01:26:22,334 --> 01:26:25,360
If you were an ocean I'd dive in.

1590
01:26:25,361 --> 01:26:27,200
And grab some sand.

1591
01:26:27,201 --> 01:26:30,320
Come up for a deep breath
Hold it.

1592
01:26:30,321 --> 01:26:33,080
And take your wave again.

1593
01:26:33,081 --> 01:26:36,840
If you were a jazz song
I'd scat along.

1594
01:26:36,841 --> 01:26:38,880
To be a part of your song.

1595
01:26:38,881 --> 01:26:41,040
Play all night with you.

1596
01:26:41,041 --> 01:26:43,320
And we'd be in the groove.

1597
01:26:43,321 --> 01:26:45,841
Every time I see you
I just freeze.

1598
01:26:45,842 --> 01:26:48,281
Quietly my world turns
Upside down

1599
01:26:48,292 --> 01:26:51,121
I'm falling in
And I can barely breathe

1600
01:26:51,122 --> 01:26:53,801
I don't know what to do
When you're around.

1601
01:26:53,802 --> 01:26:56,281
Just want to get Close to you.

1602
01:26:56,282 --> 01:26:58,801
And I would know what to do.

1603
01:26:58,802 --> 01:27:01,641
Just want to get Close to you.

1604
01:27:01,642 --> 01:27:04,561
And I would know what to do.

1605
01:27:04,562 --> 01:27:07,402
If you were a smooth shot
Of whiskey

1606
01:27:07,403 --> 01:27:09,762
I'd drink you down.

1607
01:27:09,763 --> 01:27:12,642
Sip you so slowly.

1608
01:27:12,643 --> 01:27:14,882
Then have another round.

1609
01:27:14,883 --> 01:27:17,962
If you were a slow dance
I'd learn you.

1610
01:27:17,963 --> 01:27:23,402
Dip you and turn you
Past your every move.

1611
01:27:23,403 --> 01:27:25,362
Then I'd be next to you.

1612
01:27:25,363 --> 01:27:28,043
Every time I see you
I just freeze.

1613
01:27:28,044 --> 01:27:30,403
Quietly my world turns
Upside down

1614
01:27:30,404 --> 01:27:33,123
I'm falling in
And I can barely breathe

1615
01:27:33,124 --> 01:27:35,923
I don't know what to do
When you're around.

1616
01:27:35,924 --> 01:27:38,443
Just want to get Close to you.

1617
01:27:38,444 --> 01:27:40,883
And I would know what to do.

1618
01:27:40,884 --> 01:27:43,923
Just want to get Close to you.

1619
01:27:43,924 --> 01:27:46,923
And I would know what to do.

1620
01:27:46,924 --> 01:27:49,084
If you were to love me
High above me.

1621
01:27:49,085 --> 01:27:51,044
Everything I'm looking for.

1622
01:27:51,045 --> 01:27:52,324
Thinking 'bout you more and more.

1623
01:27:52,325 --> 01:27:54,404
Love me Would you love me.

1624
01:27:54,405 --> 01:27:57,004
How can I know?
I can't I be sure.

1625
01:27:57,005 --> 01:27:59,724
Every time I see you
I just freeze.

1626
01:27:59,725 --> 01:28:02,284
Quietly my world turns
Upside down

1627
01:28:02,285 --> 01:28:04,924
I'm falling in
And I can barely breathe

1628
01:28:04,925 --> 01:28:07,444
I don't know what to do
When you're around.

1629
01:28:07,445 --> 01:28:10,205
Just want to get Close to you.

1630
01:28:10,206 --> 01:28:12,605
And I would know what to do.

1631
01:28:12,606 --> 01:28:15,405
Just want to get Close to you.

1632
01:28:15,406 --> 01:28:18,005
Just want to get Close to you.

1633
01:28:18,006 --> 01:28:20,765
Just want to get Close to you.

1634
01:28:20,766 --> 01:28:23,205
And I don't know what to do.

1635
01:28:23,206 --> 01:28:25,925
Just want to get Close to you.

1636
01:28:25,926 --> 01:28:29,286
Just want to get Close to you