1 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,030 Hey, Calvin. 2 00:00:14,230 --> 00:00:15,490 Hola, mi amor. 3 00:00:15,690 --> 00:00:18,200 Guess what I'm making. 4 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:19,650 Paella. Paella. 5 00:00:20,650 --> 00:00:24,990 Yes, the authentic recipe we learned in "Barthelona." 6 00:00:25,820 --> 00:00:28,710 Well, you know, you could say Barcelona like an American. 7 00:00:28,910 --> 00:00:30,980 No, I like saying "Barthelona" 8 00:00:31,180 --> 00:00:32,300 like a "Barthelonian." 9 00:00:33,060 --> 00:00:36,220 You know, Calvin, you don't have to make paella every day. 10 00:00:36,420 --> 00:00:39,700 I still haven't finished my lunch paella. 11 00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:45,160 Hey, you must have had a busy day. (chuckles) 12 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,410 Yeah, let's go with that. 13 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:52,070 And speaking of getting busy, 14 00:00:52,270 --> 00:00:55,730 you know, we haven't done that since this morning. 15 00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:57,040 (chuckles) 16 00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:58,700 Calvin, where's my favorite mug? 17 00:00:58,900 --> 00:01:00,890 Oh, I, uh, I threw it out. 18 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:04,380 Yeah, I was watching Jennifer Hudson this afternoon, 19 00:01:04,580 --> 00:01:06,110 and the feng shui expert said that 20 00:01:06,310 --> 00:01:09,580 you should replace any chipped or broken item. 21 00:01:09,780 --> 00:01:11,750 But my mug wasn't chipped. 22 00:01:11,950 --> 00:01:13,450 Well, I broke it 23 00:01:13,650 --> 00:01:15,340 when I was trying to feng shui the kitchen. 24 00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,120 Oh, by the way, 25 00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:20,890 Magnum, P.I. thinks we should get a reverse mortgage. 26 00:01:21,090 --> 00:01:22,450 What you think? 27 00:01:25,310 --> 00:01:26,970 Okay, Calvin, I know that you've had 28 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:30,870 a lot of time on your hands since selling the shop, but... 29 00:01:31,070 --> 00:01:34,870 you got to stop watching daytime TV. 30 00:01:35,070 --> 00:01:37,310 How about you just get out the house? 31 00:01:37,510 --> 00:01:39,150 Do something. 32 00:01:39,350 --> 00:01:41,310 Babe, I'm doing things. 33 00:01:41,510 --> 00:01:43,150 I got plenty of stuff to do. 34 00:01:43,350 --> 00:01:45,280 My schedule is jam-packed. 35 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,790 Alexa, what's on my calendar tomorrow? 36 00:01:48,990 --> 00:01:51,490 ALEXA: At 03:00 p.m., you have a haircut. 37 00:01:51,690 --> 00:01:53,690 Hmm? Didn't you get a haircut yesterday? 38 00:01:53,890 --> 00:01:56,880 Yes, Tina. I'm a very hairy man. 39 00:01:59,150 --> 00:02:02,080 Well, how about you go out and play some golf? 40 00:02:03,020 --> 00:02:04,820 Well, all my friends work. 41 00:02:06,490 --> 00:02:07,770 Are you trying to get rid of me? 42 00:02:07,970 --> 00:02:10,480 No, no, no, baby. I just... 43 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:12,210 I don't think it's very healthy 44 00:02:12,410 --> 00:02:14,580 for a man to stay at home all day, 45 00:02:14,780 --> 00:02:16,920 or his wife might kill him. 46 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:20,450 Oh! I just watched a Lifetime movie about that. 47 00:02:20,650 --> 00:02:22,210 You know, the lady got away with it, too. 48 00:02:23,540 --> 00:02:25,460 * Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood * 49 00:02:25,660 --> 00:02:27,110 * Welcome to the hood. * 50 00:02:32,450 --> 00:02:35,570 Okay. Oh, Tina, we can't take all your paella. 51 00:02:35,770 --> 00:02:38,850 Please take it. It'll really help my marriage. 52 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,610 Ooh, look, Dave wants some. He's drooling. 53 00:02:41,810 --> 00:02:43,810 (slurring): Nah, it's from the dentist. 54 00:02:44,010 --> 00:02:45,490 I'm still numb. 55 00:02:47,630 --> 00:02:49,570 Here, sweetie, clean yourself up. 56 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:55,120 So, has it been hard for Calvin having all this free time? 57 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,820 Hard for me. He's driving me crazy. 58 00:02:58,020 --> 00:02:59,190 He's always here. 59 00:02:59,390 --> 00:03:01,230 He watches my shows before I do 60 00:03:01,430 --> 00:03:03,230 and then spoils the endings. 61 00:03:03,430 --> 00:03:05,030 You know, I finally just sent him to Ernie's bar 62 00:03:05,230 --> 00:03:06,200 to give away some of this paella. 63 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,580 And there's this much left? 64 00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:11,270 You feel my pain. 65 00:03:11,470 --> 00:03:12,460 Ooh. 66 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:15,770 Mama! Oh. Hey, guys. 67 00:03:15,970 --> 00:03:18,040 TINA: Hey. Did a box come for me today? 68 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,310 Oh, yeah, it's right over there. 69 00:03:19,510 --> 00:03:21,850 Um, why did you have it sent here? 70 00:03:22,050 --> 00:03:23,680 I didn't want Malcolm to see it. 71 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,650 It's a longsword for my Arthurian groom-posal. 72 00:03:26,850 --> 00:03:28,600 It's a what for the what what? 73 00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:31,260 (chortles) 74 00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:33,130 I'm gonna ask Malcolm to be my best man. 75 00:03:33,330 --> 00:03:35,080 And then slay him? 76 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,600 Marty's doing a grooms-posal. 77 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,030 They're like prom-posals, but for your groomsmen. 78 00:03:41,230 --> 00:03:43,000 Yeah, back when I did mine, 79 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,050 society thought they were only for bridesmaids. 80 00:03:45,990 --> 00:03:48,470 Then I rode into my friend Bobby's yard 81 00:03:48,670 --> 00:03:51,090 on that horse, shirtless. 82 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:56,570 I broke barriers for groomsmen everywhere. 83 00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:58,550 I'm... 84 00:03:58,750 --> 00:04:01,040 I'm-I'm gonna go "shirt on." 85 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,590 But I do want Malcolm to be blown away. 86 00:04:04,790 --> 00:04:07,790 So, uh, Marty, got all your groomsmen picked out already? 87 00:04:07,990 --> 00:04:09,900 Yeah. Yeah. 88 00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:11,960 Well, i... It's only four of us. 89 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:13,870 It's Malcolm, my two best friends from college, 90 00:04:14,070 --> 00:04:16,250 and my play cousin Daniel. 91 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:18,670 (short chuckle) S-So he's not even 92 00:04:18,870 --> 00:04:19,940 a real cousin, huh? David... 93 00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:22,070 Dave, let it go. You're not in the wedding. 94 00:04:22,270 --> 00:04:24,160 Stop being so thirsty. 95 00:04:27,030 --> 00:04:29,280 (cheering) 96 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:33,690 Oh, shoot. Ernie's killing it at cornhole. He's undefeated. 97 00:04:33,890 --> 00:04:35,420 Hey, Calvin, 98 00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:38,120 do you want me to embarrass you next or should I 99 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:39,630 crush Trey as a warm-up? 100 00:04:39,830 --> 00:04:42,300 Also, no outside food. 101 00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:43,400 Oh. 102 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,830 It's paella. I brought you some. 103 00:04:46,030 --> 00:04:48,000 Oh, don't mind if I do. 104 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,750 Winning burns a lot of calories. 105 00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:54,670 Ernie, I haven't seen you lose in a week. 106 00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:55,840 You juicing? 107 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,140 Nah. No, man. No, no, no. 108 00:04:58,340 --> 00:04:59,580 I'm just the best holder 109 00:04:59,780 --> 00:05:02,420 anyone's seen this side of the 405. 110 00:05:02,620 --> 00:05:04,050 Probably the other side, too. 111 00:05:04,250 --> 00:05:06,170 There's just too much traffic to be sure. 112 00:05:08,340 --> 00:05:11,660 You bragging about throwing beanbags in a hole? 113 00:05:11,860 --> 00:05:14,040 (giggles) (mock giggles) 114 00:05:17,010 --> 00:05:19,160 Sound like somebody's scared. 115 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:22,470 Ooh, I'm terrified. (chuckles) 116 00:05:22,670 --> 00:05:24,670 What's the next challenge-- hopscotch? 117 00:05:24,870 --> 00:05:27,010 Or maybe Candy Land? 118 00:05:27,210 --> 00:05:29,540 Calvin, just whup his ass and shut him up. 119 00:05:29,740 --> 00:05:30,440 Man. Hey. 120 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,240 I-It's ridiculous, man. 121 00:05:32,450 --> 00:05:35,680 This requires no skills. I mean, anybody could do it. 122 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:37,400 Watch. 123 00:05:41,070 --> 00:05:42,190 Ha-ha! 124 00:05:42,390 --> 00:05:44,060 Reminds me of the time we played mini-golf 125 00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:45,770 and you hit that old lady. 126 00:05:46,540 --> 00:05:48,530 It was a bank shot off her walker. 127 00:05:48,730 --> 00:05:49,800 I still made par. 128 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,350 Ah. 129 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,080 Okay. 130 00:05:56,450 --> 00:05:57,840 ERNIE: Oh. Oh, yeah. 131 00:05:58,040 --> 00:05:59,810 Close, close, but no cigar. 132 00:06:00,010 --> 00:06:01,140 All right, this ain't over. 133 00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:03,460 All right, here we go. 134 00:06:05,630 --> 00:06:07,130 (grunts) 135 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:08,850 Yeah! 136 00:06:09,050 --> 00:06:10,180 (patrons cheering) Oh! 137 00:06:10,380 --> 00:06:12,670 Boom, baby! In your face! 138 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,820 Okay, Calvin. All right. 139 00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:18,020 If you feeling so cocky, 140 00:06:18,220 --> 00:06:19,690 then why don't you play in the tournament? 141 00:06:19,890 --> 00:06:21,160 Mm, nah, I'm good. 142 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:24,000 Uh-huh. Uh, I-I forgot-- you retired. 143 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,260 You too busy sitting on the front porch 144 00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,000 in a rocking chair. 145 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,290 ALL: Ooh! 146 00:06:31,290 --> 00:06:33,770 You know what? I'm in. 147 00:06:33,970 --> 00:06:36,880 And for your information, it's a glider! 148 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:38,080 (patrons cheering) 149 00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:40,580 All right. Well, good luck, Calvin. 150 00:06:40,780 --> 00:06:44,280 Good luck. Oh, did you see the gallery of champions? 151 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:46,670 They all look a lot like me, don't they? 152 00:06:48,740 --> 00:06:51,790 You know, I forget about the year you had the toupee. 153 00:06:51,990 --> 00:06:54,840 It's called a hair unit. 154 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:00,030 (knocking) 155 00:07:00,230 --> 00:07:01,820 Hold on. 156 00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:06,290 Oh, my God! 157 00:07:11,530 --> 00:07:13,280 Marty, what is going on? 158 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:16,550 Malcolm Langston Butler, first of his name, 159 00:07:16,750 --> 00:07:18,020 you are hereby 160 00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:19,520 commanded to pull 161 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,650 the sword from yon stone. 162 00:07:21,850 --> 00:07:25,870 Only the true best man can such a feat achieve. 163 00:07:28,940 --> 00:07:30,060 What? 164 00:07:30,260 --> 00:07:33,530 If thou wouldst be the best man, 165 00:07:33,730 --> 00:07:37,200 thou must pull the very expensive custom-engraved sword 166 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,610 from yonder stone. 167 00:07:39,810 --> 00:07:43,410 Okay, Marty, obviously I am going to be your best man. 168 00:07:43,610 --> 00:07:46,140 Uh, did you say "wouldst"? What does that even mean? 169 00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:48,180 I don't know, man. Can you just play along? 170 00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:49,680 No, I said I'm in, Marty, okay? 171 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:51,480 I-I'm doing all the best man stuff. 172 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,390 I went to the cake tasting, we went soup shopping. 173 00:07:53,590 --> 00:07:55,450 Okay, if-if you're not into this, 174 00:07:55,650 --> 00:07:57,160 maybe I'll ask somebody else. 175 00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:59,290 Marty, I'm your only brother. 176 00:07:59,490 --> 00:08:01,660 Who else would you ask to be your best man? 177 00:08:01,860 --> 00:08:02,710 Derek. 178 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,730 Derek? Derek has no personality. 179 00:08:06,930 --> 00:08:08,300 He's a board game friend. 180 00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:10,240 You have to be distracted just to hang out with him. 181 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:11,400 Well, Derek would have pulled the sword 182 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:12,540 from the stone by now, man. 183 00:08:12,740 --> 00:08:14,510 Well, 'cause Derek is a dork! 184 00:08:14,710 --> 00:08:17,340 Great. You tell him that to his face 185 00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:19,010 when he takes your role as the best man. 186 00:08:19,210 --> 00:08:20,050 Wha... 187 00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:21,480 From the shadows you come 188 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:25,270 and to the shadows I bid you return. 189 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,860 (exclaims) Almost had it. 190 00:08:32,060 --> 00:08:33,360 (scoffs) 191 00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:36,090 Don't flatter yourself. You weren't even close. 192 00:08:36,290 --> 00:08:37,730 You're pulling your left shoulder. 193 00:08:37,930 --> 00:08:39,260 Thanks a lot, Gemma. 194 00:08:39,460 --> 00:08:41,000 But a lot of those bags went in the hole 195 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:42,800 before you broke my concentration 196 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,920 by sneaking up on me. 197 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,010 Okay, you want to keep missing, 198 00:08:48,210 --> 00:08:49,240 keep doing it your way. 199 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,240 Or you could square up a bit 200 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:53,110 and add a little arc to your toss, 201 00:08:53,310 --> 00:08:54,560 like this. 202 00:08:57,430 --> 00:08:59,690 Damn, woman, you can hole. 203 00:08:59,890 --> 00:09:01,250 Where'd you learn to play like that? 204 00:09:01,450 --> 00:09:03,420 There wasn't a lot to do in Hickory Corners. 205 00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:04,690 All we had was corn. 206 00:09:04,890 --> 00:09:06,360 Either you ate it or you threw it. 207 00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:07,760 Or the crows got it. 208 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,550 On a bad day, all three could happen. 209 00:09:11,310 --> 00:09:13,870 So, you used to play with corn? 210 00:09:14,070 --> 00:09:15,300 Did you not have Barbie dolls? 211 00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:16,750 Crows got 'em. 212 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,810 That's why I became so good at cornhole. 213 00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:21,970 Uh, w-wait, wait. 214 00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:23,280 I want to learn how to play. 215 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,480 Cornhole isn't something you learn. 216 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:27,450 It's something you become. 217 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,110 When I holed, 218 00:09:29,310 --> 00:09:31,620 I gave myself fully to the game. 219 00:09:31,820 --> 00:09:33,220 I'd expect you to do the same. 220 00:09:33,420 --> 00:09:34,950 I'm ready. No. 221 00:09:35,150 --> 00:09:37,340 No, you're not. 222 00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:39,790 But you will be. 223 00:09:39,990 --> 00:09:42,490 Forget everything you think you know about cornhole. 224 00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:45,260 I literally know nothing. 225 00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:49,480 Raw clay. I like it. 226 00:09:55,690 --> 00:09:56,880 Derek? 227 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,780 Derek is gonna be your best man? Yes, Mom. 228 00:09:59,980 --> 00:10:03,570 Help me remember-- did I carry Derek in my womb? 229 00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:06,180 I think you know you did not. 230 00:10:06,380 --> 00:10:08,950 Then Derek should not be your best man. 231 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,610 Calvin, back me up. 232 00:10:11,470 --> 00:10:13,360 Listen to your mama, boy. 233 00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:15,740 Ooh! Four in a row! 234 00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:18,400 Calvin! 235 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:21,970 What? I'm folding the laundry. Thanks for noticing. 236 00:10:22,170 --> 00:10:25,640 Stop playing games and help me talk some sense into this boy. 237 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:29,340 Uh, Marty, if you want your brother to be your best man, 238 00:10:29,540 --> 00:10:31,780 you should ask him like a normal person. 239 00:10:31,980 --> 00:10:33,050 I'm sure he'll say yes. 240 00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:34,680 Well, he did say yes. 241 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:38,330 That's not the point, Daddy. He disrespected my process. 242 00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:40,590 TINA: Listen, baby, 243 00:10:40,790 --> 00:10:42,520 when you look back on your wedding 244 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:44,520 years from now... 245 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:45,740 (clang) 246 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:48,530 ...you're gonna want to have those memories 247 00:10:48,730 --> 00:10:49,860 with your brother. 248 00:10:50,060 --> 00:10:51,030 (clang) 249 00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:52,730 Calvin, what the hell are you doing?! 250 00:10:52,930 --> 00:10:55,100 I'm emptying the dishwasher. 251 00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:57,690 Apparently, I have to do everything around here. 252 00:11:01,790 --> 00:11:03,360 That was going in. 253 00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:08,410 I mean, it is nonstop, Trey. 254 00:11:08,610 --> 00:11:10,820 One ridiculous wedding event after another, 255 00:11:11,020 --> 00:11:13,220 a-and the groom-posal was insane. 256 00:11:13,420 --> 00:11:15,350 There was a rock, there was a sword, 257 00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:17,170 and then there was a suit of armor. 258 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:22,230 So, he did all that just to ask you to be his best man? 259 00:11:22,430 --> 00:11:24,130 Yes. I mean, it's ridiculous, right? 260 00:11:24,330 --> 00:11:25,230 Tell me I'm wrong. 261 00:11:25,430 --> 00:11:27,000 You're wrong. Thank you. 262 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,930 Wait, what? 263 00:11:29,130 --> 00:11:30,670 I'm just saying, Marty went through 264 00:11:30,870 --> 00:11:33,170 all that trouble to make you feel loved and appreciated, 265 00:11:33,370 --> 00:11:35,370 and you went and acted like a jackass. 266 00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,690 I did not. (knocking) 267 00:11:40,460 --> 00:11:43,300 Word on the street is you were a total jackass to Marty. 268 00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:47,190 I said yes to Marty, okay? 269 00:11:47,390 --> 00:11:49,350 Look, maybe I wasn't as nice as I could have been... Okay, 270 00:11:49,550 --> 00:11:50,910 I-I don't care. Uh... 271 00:11:52,010 --> 00:11:54,760 Are you now bumped down to regular groomsman 272 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,430 or... or are you out out, 273 00:11:56,630 --> 00:11:58,380 and now there's an opening? 274 00:11:59,150 --> 00:12:01,570 Well, I can't be completely out of the wedding, Dave. 275 00:12:01,770 --> 00:12:04,570 Uh, I mean, look, I got to do something. 276 00:12:04,770 --> 00:12:08,170 Marty's a big baby, but he is my baby brother. 277 00:12:08,370 --> 00:12:10,680 You're right. You're a good brother. 278 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,310 Damn it. 279 00:12:12,510 --> 00:12:15,400 So, what do I do? 280 00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:23,270 Malcolm, go to him. 281 00:12:25,670 --> 00:12:27,990 Yeah, but you got to do it right. 282 00:12:28,190 --> 00:12:31,660 After what you did, you need to go all the way. Yeah. 283 00:12:31,860 --> 00:12:34,200 Meaning I got to completely humiliate myself? 284 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,330 No, no, not at all. 285 00:12:36,530 --> 00:12:39,140 Now, let's talk tunics and tights. 286 00:12:39,340 --> 00:12:41,890 Oh... 287 00:12:52,430 --> 00:12:55,800 You do know there's nothing in your hand, right? 288 00:12:56,870 --> 00:12:58,420 Of course, babe. 289 00:12:58,620 --> 00:13:01,130 The tournament is tonight. I can't risk injury. 290 00:13:01,330 --> 00:13:03,660 Hey, Tina, would you do me the honor 291 00:13:03,860 --> 00:13:07,030 of shagging my bags this evening? 292 00:13:07,230 --> 00:13:08,550 Do what now? 293 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:12,970 I forgot, you don't speak hole. 294 00:13:13,170 --> 00:13:15,140 (chuckles) 295 00:13:15,340 --> 00:13:16,940 It means retrieving my bags. 296 00:13:17,140 --> 00:13:19,480 I just need to concentrate on my throwing. 297 00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:22,920 Alexa, is it windy in Pasadena tonight? 298 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:25,280 Hello, Cornhole King. 299 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:27,550 This evening in Pasadena, California, 300 00:13:27,750 --> 00:13:30,490 it's breezy at 14.2 miles per hour. 301 00:13:30,690 --> 00:13:31,790 Hmm. 302 00:13:31,990 --> 00:13:35,380 I'm gonna have to adjust my arc for the wind. 303 00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:41,670 Did you actually program Alexa to call you Cornhole King? 304 00:13:41,870 --> 00:13:45,850 Yes. And trust me, it's starting to catch on. 305 00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:50,210 Uh, you know, Calvin, 306 00:13:50,410 --> 00:13:52,140 I know I encouraged you to get out of the house 307 00:13:52,340 --> 00:13:53,580 and find something to do, 308 00:13:53,780 --> 00:13:55,350 but don't you think that maybe you're taking 309 00:13:55,550 --> 00:13:57,350 this Cornhole thing a little too seriously? 310 00:13:57,550 --> 00:13:59,430 (chuckles) Don't be ridiculous. 311 00:14:00,970 --> 00:14:02,890 Calvin, bombaye! 312 00:14:03,090 --> 00:14:05,020 Calvin, bombaye! 313 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:08,030 Calvin, bomba... 314 00:14:08,230 --> 00:14:10,680 Did you people not see Ali? 315 00:14:12,210 --> 00:14:14,430 Calvin, bombaye! 316 00:14:14,630 --> 00:14:18,590 ALL: Calvin, bombaye! Calvin, bombaye! 317 00:14:23,690 --> 00:14:25,290 Go, babe! (cheering) 318 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,450 It's all right, my man. 319 00:14:29,650 --> 00:14:30,680 You can tell your grandkids 320 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:33,120 you got beat by Calvin Butler. 321 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:34,700 Go on, now. 322 00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,510 Calvin, let's talk management. 323 00:14:41,410 --> 00:14:42,630 What are you celebrating? 324 00:14:42,830 --> 00:14:44,230 You haven't won anything yet. 325 00:14:44,430 --> 00:14:46,710 I just took the semis. 326 00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:48,920 Finish the job! 327 00:14:50,220 --> 00:14:51,700 Sorry, Calvin. 328 00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:53,740 You've had your fun, but your little lucky streak 329 00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:56,710 ends here. This is my house. 330 00:14:56,910 --> 00:14:59,080 Yeah, that's because you lost your real house 331 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:00,480 in your last divorce. 332 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:03,220 (exclaiming, chattering) 333 00:15:03,420 --> 00:15:04,680 True. 334 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:09,090 But not you or my other exes or the IRS 335 00:15:09,290 --> 00:15:10,290 can take cornhole from me. 336 00:15:10,490 --> 00:15:13,390 Don't you worry, Calvin Butler. 337 00:15:13,590 --> 00:15:14,930 I'll keep the trophy here. 338 00:15:15,130 --> 00:15:16,930 You can come see it whenever you want. 339 00:15:17,130 --> 00:15:18,400 Oh. Uh, 340 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:19,700 I'm gonna see it every night 341 00:15:19,900 --> 00:15:21,800 'cause it'll be in my bedroom. 342 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,440 The hell it will. 343 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,520 Hey, uh, shag girl, you're messing up my trash talk. 344 00:15:29,460 --> 00:15:31,690 (doorbell rings) 345 00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:39,870 Hedwig?! 346 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:49,560 "Your presence is requested in Mother and Father's yard 347 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:52,230 "at the stroke of 9:00. 348 00:15:52,430 --> 00:15:56,300 Yours, magically, Alan Dumbledore." 349 00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:58,200 (laughs) 350 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,590 It's Albus, but okay. 351 00:16:02,590 --> 00:16:04,960 (laughing) 352 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,650 Who dares approacheth my lair? 353 00:16:08,850 --> 00:16:10,980 You invited me, Dumbledore. 354 00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:12,580 Yes, right. 355 00:16:12,780 --> 00:16:15,750 Approacheth, Grayskull Legolas. 356 00:16:15,950 --> 00:16:17,960 You are mixing so many different things, 357 00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:19,640 but I love it! 358 00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:23,700 When I cast this spell, 359 00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:25,460 you will no longer remember that 360 00:16:25,660 --> 00:16:28,550 I was dickish unto thee. 361 00:16:29,850 --> 00:16:32,370 And you will once again welcome me back 362 00:16:32,570 --> 00:16:36,190 as your best friend, your best brother and... 363 00:16:37,390 --> 00:16:38,990 ...your best man. 364 00:16:41,430 --> 00:16:43,670 Kombucha! 365 00:16:45,270 --> 00:16:48,540 Yes. A thousand times yes. 366 00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:53,060 This is unbelievably tense. 367 00:16:53,260 --> 00:16:54,610 It is? 368 00:16:55,380 --> 00:16:58,900 They're tied. They've gone bag-for-bag this whole round. 369 00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:00,030 The next hole wins. 370 00:17:00,230 --> 00:17:02,020 Ooh, and then we're done? 371 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,440 Oh. Hey, hey. 372 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:07,070 You hear that, Calvin? 373 00:17:07,270 --> 00:17:09,790 That hole is calling my name. 374 00:17:12,590 --> 00:17:14,110 ALL: Ooh! 375 00:17:14,310 --> 00:17:15,410 Yeah. 376 00:17:15,610 --> 00:17:17,350 Oh, I hear it now. 377 00:17:17,550 --> 00:17:18,450 And it's saying, 378 00:17:18,650 --> 00:17:21,170 "You're in second place, sucker." 379 00:17:21,970 --> 00:17:24,020 Time out. Time out, time out. 380 00:17:24,220 --> 00:17:26,320 Calvin, his bag is teetering over the edge. 381 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:27,860 It's air mail time. 382 00:17:28,060 --> 00:17:28,990 Air mail? Yes. 383 00:17:29,190 --> 00:17:30,260 We practiced this. 384 00:17:30,460 --> 00:17:32,000 No, we didn't. 385 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,200 We didn't? Crap. 386 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:35,700 Okay. 387 00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:38,670 You've got to arc high. Crazy high. 388 00:17:38,870 --> 00:17:40,710 Higher than you've ever arced in your life. 389 00:17:40,910 --> 00:17:42,810 Your bag's got to come straight down 390 00:17:43,010 --> 00:17:45,410 through that hole without taking Ernie's bag in with it. 391 00:17:45,610 --> 00:17:47,480 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Delay of game. 392 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:49,980 Okay, hey, I'm tossing. 393 00:17:50,180 --> 00:17:51,950 I'm tossing, man. 394 00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:53,700 Okay. 395 00:17:54,470 --> 00:17:56,740 * * 396 00:18:20,630 --> 00:18:23,580 Yes! We did it! We're awesome! (exclaims) 397 00:18:23,780 --> 00:18:26,170 (laughs) Suck it, loser! 398 00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:30,890 Hey, uh, good game, Calvin. 399 00:18:31,090 --> 00:18:33,490 Yeah, that felt pretty good. Oh, 400 00:18:33,690 --> 00:18:35,290 need to take your picture for the wall. 401 00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:37,360 Oh, not without my shag girl. 402 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:38,850 Nah, I'm good. 403 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:42,430 Hey, that was, uh 404 00:18:42,630 --> 00:18:44,300 that was some fine holing, Calvin. 405 00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:46,300 Yeah. Maybe the best I've ever seen. 406 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,410 It was fun. Yeah, it was. 407 00:18:48,610 --> 00:18:51,610 Oh, it doesn't have to be over. See, there's a doubles circuit. 408 00:18:51,810 --> 00:18:53,780 We can take this act on the road as a team. 409 00:18:53,980 --> 00:18:56,780 There is a tournament next weekend in Reno. 410 00:18:56,980 --> 00:18:59,320 Now, the way I figure... Look, sorry, Ernie. 411 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:02,750 I mean, since I sold the shop, I have been looking 412 00:19:02,950 --> 00:19:05,620 for something to be passionate about, but... 413 00:19:05,820 --> 00:19:08,560 this is your thing, man. All right? 414 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:10,300 I'm still searching for mine. 415 00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:12,900 Mm. You'll find it, baby. 416 00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:16,100 Hey, you-you sure about that, Calvin? 417 00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:18,670 Very. But you-- 418 00:19:18,870 --> 00:19:20,100 you go out there and give 'em hell. 419 00:19:20,310 --> 00:19:21,440 Hey! 420 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,610 I'll do it. I'll go with you, Ernie. Reno! 421 00:19:23,810 --> 00:19:25,780 Reno! (laughs) 422 00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:26,710 Hey, 423 00:19:26,910 --> 00:19:27,880 you drive stick? Yeah. 424 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:29,350 Uh-huh. Yeah, you do. 425 00:19:29,550 --> 00:19:30,450 Hey, hey! 426 00:19:30,650 --> 00:19:31,850 You're not going to Reno. 427 00:19:32,050 --> 00:19:33,790 You're a wife, a mother and a principal. 428 00:19:33,990 --> 00:19:35,050 CALVIN: Okay, Gemma, 429 00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:37,420 uh, go home, all right? Go on, now. 430 00:19:37,620 --> 00:19:39,240 Go. 431 00:19:45,150 --> 00:19:48,020 Something is definitely wrong with her. 432 00:20:00,530 --> 00:20:02,350 David Seymour Johnson, 433 00:20:02,550 --> 00:20:04,930 first of his name, come forth. 434 00:20:11,940 --> 00:20:13,430 Oh, my God. 435 00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:15,030 Is this happening? 436 00:20:15,230 --> 00:20:17,560 The maiden Necie hath decreed 437 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:21,330 that the size of her bridal party will increase by one. 438 00:20:21,530 --> 00:20:23,070 Her cousin Keisha will be joining us 439 00:20:23,270 --> 00:20:24,720 from the Woods of Ingle. 440 00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:27,100 Huh? 441 00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:28,960 Keisha from Inglewood. 442 00:20:30,860 --> 00:20:35,280 Wilst thou do me the most high honor 443 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,350 of joining the Groom's Watch? 444 00:20:37,550 --> 00:20:39,600 Wedding is coming. 445 00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:43,840 T'would be my honor, your grace. 446 00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:48,840 With thy very knee I bendeth like Beckham. 447 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:55,030 Macchiato! 448 00:20:55,230 --> 00:20:57,020 (thunder rumbles) 449 00:21:02,890 --> 00:21:05,740 Captioning sponsored by CBS 450 00:21:05,940 --> 00:21:08,550 and TOYOTA. 451 00:21:08,750 --> 00:21:12,130 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org