1 00:00:06,070 --> 00:00:08,300 (scratching) 2 00:00:12,180 --> 00:00:13,610 Calvin. 3 00:00:14,410 --> 00:00:15,790 Calvin. 4 00:00:15,990 --> 00:00:16,800 Calvin! 5 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,530 Yeah, what? What? 6 00:00:18,730 --> 00:00:19,700 What? 7 00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:22,490 Oh, I'm sorry, baby. Did I wake you? 8 00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:27,070 You could've woke the dead, Tina. 9 00:00:27,270 --> 00:00:28,910 Do you hear that scratching? 10 00:00:29,110 --> 00:00:30,940 (scratching) What? That? 11 00:00:31,140 --> 00:00:33,210 Shh! Don't talk! 12 00:00:33,410 --> 00:00:36,420 (scratching) That. 13 00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:39,020 I don't know. M-Maybe it's a spider or something. 14 00:00:39,220 --> 00:00:41,500 Spiders don't make noise. 15 00:00:44,370 --> 00:00:46,990 All right, well, it sounds like it's coming from the kitchen. 16 00:00:47,190 --> 00:00:49,130 It's got to be Malcolm and Marty. 17 00:00:49,330 --> 00:00:50,860 At 5:00 in the morning? 18 00:00:51,060 --> 00:00:54,580 With all that legal weed out there? Absolutely. 19 00:00:55,450 --> 00:00:56,540 I don't know, Calvin. 20 00:00:56,740 --> 00:00:58,570 It-it sounds like it could be an animal. 21 00:00:58,770 --> 00:00:59,710 Could you just go look? 22 00:00:59,910 --> 00:01:01,470 Hey, I'll look when I get up, okay? 23 00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:03,310 Oh, baby, I don't... All right. 24 00:01:03,510 --> 00:01:04,980 (whimpers) 25 00:01:05,180 --> 00:01:06,810 (grunts) (sighs) 26 00:01:07,010 --> 00:01:07,910 (scratching) 27 00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:09,600 Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm, no, no. 28 00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:11,850 Baby, please. 29 00:01:12,050 --> 00:01:13,350 I cannot sleep with that. 30 00:01:13,550 --> 00:01:14,690 Just-just go check it out. 31 00:01:14,890 --> 00:01:16,490 (sighs) Fine. 32 00:01:16,690 --> 00:01:18,060 I mean, you know... 33 00:01:18,260 --> 00:01:21,040 But once I brush my teeth, that's usually it for me. 34 00:01:22,810 --> 00:01:24,060 (grumbling) 35 00:01:24,260 --> 00:01:27,700 So much for gender equality. 36 00:01:27,900 --> 00:01:29,840 Thank you, baby. 37 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:31,140 CALVIN: Whoa! (crashing) 38 00:01:31,340 --> 00:01:32,670 What?! 39 00:01:32,870 --> 00:01:34,470 Get out! Get out of here! What, what, what, what? 40 00:01:34,670 --> 00:01:35,740 Get out of here! What, what? (glass shattering) 41 00:01:35,940 --> 00:01:37,610 Oh, you picked the wrong house tonight. 42 00:01:37,810 --> 00:01:38,540 Babe? 43 00:01:38,740 --> 00:01:39,810 Babe, you good? 44 00:01:40,010 --> 00:01:42,120 (crashing) Give me back my slipper! 45 00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:43,520 Slipper? Oh. All right. 46 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,320 Well, it sounds like you got it. 47 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:47,470 (crashing) 48 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:51,390 * Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood * 49 00:01:51,590 --> 00:01:52,910 * Welcome to the hood. * 50 00:01:57,950 --> 00:01:59,700 Oh. Oh. 51 00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:00,870 Oh, my God. 52 00:02:01,070 --> 00:02:03,040 What was it? I don't know, baby. 53 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:07,360 Either it was a large raccoon or a small panda. 54 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:10,980 Well, did you have to make this big a mess? 55 00:02:11,180 --> 00:02:13,480 I didn't do it. That thing did. 56 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:15,880 Look, babe, when I came in here, that's when he saw me. 57 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:17,320 And then we squared off, right? 58 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:19,650 Now, he had eyes as red as the devil. 59 00:02:19,850 --> 00:02:23,590 So then, so then I hit him with the two-piece. Hey, hey. Hey. 60 00:02:23,790 --> 00:02:25,060 Hey. So then, but he's like, 61 00:02:25,260 --> 00:02:26,790 "Oh, what's up? What's up with that?" 62 00:02:26,990 --> 00:02:29,460 Then I was like, "Oh!" So then, so then he came at me, right? 63 00:02:29,660 --> 00:02:30,760 So then I grabbed him, I was like, ugh, 64 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,370 and I put him in a full nelson. 65 00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:33,730 And I was choking him, he's like, "Aah!" 66 00:02:33,930 --> 00:02:34,970 And I was choking him. But then, 67 00:02:35,170 --> 00:02:36,670 but then he flipped me back over. 68 00:02:36,870 --> 00:02:38,800 So then he started choking me, and I was like, "Get off me." 69 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,370 But his hands was too small to go around my whole neck 70 00:02:41,570 --> 00:02:43,980 so he couldn't get around my whole neck. 71 00:02:44,180 --> 00:02:45,340 So then I hit him with the Ice Cube, 72 00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:46,610 I was like, "Yo, we got a problem here?" 73 00:02:46,810 --> 00:02:48,110 Right? So then, 74 00:02:48,310 --> 00:02:49,480 then he came running at me. 75 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:51,080 I grabbed him, I flipped him around here, 76 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:53,220 and I field-goaled him out the front door. 77 00:02:53,420 --> 00:02:55,000 Whew. 78 00:02:57,770 --> 00:02:59,790 Oh, my God! 79 00:02:59,990 --> 00:03:03,500 There's footprints in my lasagna! 80 00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:06,100 Well, what does the pest control guy say? 81 00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:07,500 Well, nothing, babe. 82 00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:09,440 I'm still hearing the hold music, 83 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,990 but I ain't mad because they playing the Whispers. 84 00:03:15,420 --> 00:03:16,460 Calvin. 85 00:03:17,460 --> 00:03:19,040 Can you call another company? 86 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,710 Babe, I'm a half hour invested on this one. 87 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:24,320 If you can't get a pest control guy on the phone, 88 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:27,420 I'm calling a Realtor, and if he answers first, we're moving. 89 00:03:27,620 --> 00:03:29,020 (stammering): Wait, hold on. I'm not doing this. 90 00:03:29,220 --> 00:03:30,560 Whoa-whoa-whoa, bab-baby... I'm not doing... 91 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:31,720 Representative. 92 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:36,260 Representative. Representative. 93 00:03:36,460 --> 00:03:37,360 Agent. 94 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:39,870 Operator. 95 00:03:40,070 --> 00:03:41,480 Person. 96 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:43,770 Yes, English. 97 00:03:43,970 --> 00:03:46,040 Or Spanish? ¡Nosotros! 98 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:49,910 * * 99 00:03:50,110 --> 00:03:52,480 Don't mean to be pest-imistic, 100 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:53,680 but, uh... 101 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:55,150 it was definitely a raccoon. 102 00:03:55,350 --> 00:03:58,580 So we're going to put down like 16 bear traps? 103 00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:00,820 We could, if you sign a waiver saying 104 00:04:01,020 --> 00:04:04,160 we're not responsible for anybody losing a leg or a child. 105 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,380 Well, we don't have a child, so where do we sign? 106 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:09,400 Tina, what are you doing? 107 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:10,660 You're just throwing all this food away? 108 00:04:10,860 --> 00:04:13,130 I'm not eating raccoon-touched food. 109 00:04:13,330 --> 00:04:15,380 Have you ever seen a raccoon wash his hands? 110 00:04:16,220 --> 00:04:17,370 They actually do. 111 00:04:17,570 --> 00:04:18,800 There's this great video on YouTube where... 112 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,470 Oh, oh, yeah, I seen that. 113 00:04:20,670 --> 00:04:24,490 'Cause they look like little people. They like... (humming) 114 00:04:25,660 --> 00:04:26,480 (both laugh) 115 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:27,580 You mind if I check inside? 116 00:04:27,780 --> 00:04:28,980 Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead. 117 00:04:29,180 --> 00:04:30,180 Uh, look at all this food you're wasting. 118 00:04:30,380 --> 00:04:31,380 You know, Tina, 119 00:04:31,580 --> 00:04:34,520 I recently started composting. 120 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:35,720 Yeah, I know. 121 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:37,190 For a man with a job, 122 00:04:37,390 --> 00:04:39,780 you spend a lot of time digging in my garbage. 123 00:04:40,940 --> 00:04:43,600 Tina, did you get my text? 124 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:44,750 Probably. 125 00:04:45,510 --> 00:04:47,000 Child, I didn't look. What? 126 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,300 (laughs) 127 00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:50,840 School's canceled today 'cause of the fires 128 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,240 up in the mountains. 129 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:53,670 Air quality is unsafe for the kids. Oh. 130 00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:56,380 That never happened in Hickory Corners. 131 00:04:56,580 --> 00:04:59,080 We had closures for blizzards, tornadoes, frogs. 132 00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:00,610 Frogs? 133 00:05:00,810 --> 00:05:04,130 After the tornadoes, it would actually rain frogs. 134 00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:09,410 Gemma, where are you from? The Book of Leviticus? 135 00:05:11,010 --> 00:05:13,110 We had really nice Octobers. 136 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,030 I know today was the day you were going to post 137 00:05:16,230 --> 00:05:19,260 the casting decisions for the spring musical, but you'll... 138 00:05:19,470 --> 00:05:22,790 Wow, a raccoon did all of this? 139 00:05:23,750 --> 00:05:24,900 Calvin helped. 140 00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:26,310 Hey. 141 00:05:26,510 --> 00:05:28,070 PEST CONTROL GUY: Okay, it's looking like 142 00:05:28,270 --> 00:05:30,140 your point of entry is your chimney. 143 00:05:30,340 --> 00:05:32,510 We can put a mesh cap at the top to inhibit access. 144 00:05:32,710 --> 00:05:37,700 Ooh, let's put two in for safety-- and electrify it. 145 00:05:38,470 --> 00:05:41,720 So this mesh thing is gonna stop the raccoons? 146 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:42,990 And Santa Claus. 147 00:05:43,190 --> 00:05:44,190 (laughs) 148 00:05:44,390 --> 00:05:46,060 'Cause, you see, 'cause... 149 00:05:46,260 --> 00:05:48,030 the chimney is where... 150 00:05:48,230 --> 00:05:49,900 that's where Santa comes down. Yeah. 151 00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:53,370 Hilarious. I get it. 152 00:05:53,570 --> 00:05:55,430 Truth is, if they want in, 153 00:05:55,630 --> 00:05:57,370 they're gonna find another access point. 154 00:05:57,570 --> 00:05:58,700 Best thing to do is to figure out what's 155 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,540 attracting them in the first place. 156 00:06:00,740 --> 00:06:04,430 Some new food source around-- fruit trees, dumpsters? 157 00:06:07,030 --> 00:06:08,760 Dave! 158 00:06:12,270 --> 00:06:14,090 Dave? 159 00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:15,950 Do you know what your compost is doing? Ooh! 160 00:06:16,150 --> 00:06:18,170 I have been waiting for you to ask me that. 161 00:06:19,610 --> 00:06:21,190 I'm returning organic waste to the soil 162 00:06:21,390 --> 00:06:22,830 instead of letting it rot in landfills. 163 00:06:23,030 --> 00:06:24,000 Well, guess what. 164 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,530 It's attracting raccoons. 165 00:06:25,730 --> 00:06:28,200 Aw. You know, composting brings 166 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,300 all the creatures together. 167 00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:34,140 Not "aw." One of them broke into my house, 168 00:06:34,340 --> 00:06:36,380 and now I don't have a left slipper. 169 00:06:36,580 --> 00:06:38,510 What am I supposed to do with one slipper? 170 00:06:38,710 --> 00:06:39,380 Huh? 171 00:06:39,580 --> 00:06:40,880 Hello, Mr. Raccoon. 172 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:42,570 Come get your other slipper! 173 00:06:43,230 --> 00:06:45,880 * * 174 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:47,690 Mama, where's all the food? 175 00:06:47,890 --> 00:06:49,660 I'm not keeping any food in this house 176 00:06:49,860 --> 00:06:51,890 after some rodent trampled all over it. 177 00:06:52,090 --> 00:06:55,160 Well, actually, uh, raccoons are not Rodentia, 178 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:56,330 they are Carnivora. 179 00:06:56,530 --> 00:06:58,330 Which is kind of a misnomer 180 00:06:58,530 --> 00:07:00,000 because they're omnivorous, so... 181 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:01,630 (chuckling) 182 00:07:01,830 --> 00:07:04,150 Yo, Marty. Read the room. 183 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:08,690 Wait, so are you saying there is no food in this house? 184 00:07:09,390 --> 00:07:11,310 Looks like you'll have to eat at home. 185 00:07:11,510 --> 00:07:14,230 But we don't have food at home. 186 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,400 I mean, we knew this day would come. 187 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,400 You think you'll be ready for it, but you're not. 188 00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:25,890 Okay, look, we're all going to need food, all right? 189 00:07:26,090 --> 00:07:27,960 Why don't you guys go pick up some takeout? 190 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:29,230 Oh, okay. MALCOLM: Okay. 191 00:07:29,430 --> 00:07:31,830 Got you, Mama. Whatever you want. Uh... 192 00:07:32,030 --> 00:07:33,550 Credit card? 193 00:07:35,350 --> 00:07:36,330 It's our treat. 194 00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:37,720 Yeah, I'm sure. 195 00:07:39,820 --> 00:07:41,840 Hey. 196 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:43,340 About those auditions 197 00:07:43,540 --> 00:07:44,940 for the spring musical. 198 00:07:45,140 --> 00:07:47,580 You know that seventh grader Cooper Brockwell? 199 00:07:47,780 --> 00:07:49,880 You were probably wondering if he's the same Brockwell 200 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,790 as in the school's Brockwell Performing Arts Center. 201 00:07:52,990 --> 00:07:54,400 I wasn't wondering. 202 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,120 Oh, good. 203 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:00,130 But he is. 204 00:08:00,330 --> 00:08:02,530 Oh, so wait a minute. 205 00:08:02,730 --> 00:08:05,430 Are you saying that I have to cast this Brockwell kid 206 00:08:05,630 --> 00:08:07,300 because his parents paid for the theater? 207 00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:08,600 Grandparents. 208 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,720 His parents paid for the library. 209 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,540 And no, of course I'm not saying that. 210 00:08:14,740 --> 00:08:16,540 You should cast whoever's the best. 211 00:08:16,740 --> 00:08:17,760 Great. 212 00:08:19,030 --> 00:08:19,910 Was Cooper the best? 213 00:08:20,110 --> 00:08:21,710 Oh, no. 214 00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:24,280 I'm just glad you don't feel any pressure to cast him 215 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:25,950 just because, without his grandfather, 216 00:08:26,150 --> 00:08:28,600 there wouldn't be a musical at all. 217 00:08:29,940 --> 00:08:32,290 You know, now I'm feeling a little pressure. 218 00:08:32,490 --> 00:08:34,740 No, don't, don't, don't. 219 00:08:35,610 --> 00:08:37,260 It is a nice theater, though, isn't it? 220 00:08:37,460 --> 00:08:39,060 Oh, my God. 221 00:08:39,260 --> 00:08:43,400 (groans) It's always just one thing after another with you. 222 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:45,640 Remember when you installed those solar panels? 223 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,340 Yeah, I reduced my carbon footprint 224 00:08:47,540 --> 00:08:49,340 and I cut my utility bill in half. 225 00:08:49,540 --> 00:08:51,580 Wrong. You caused a blackout, 226 00:08:51,780 --> 00:08:53,850 and I had to stop a mob from beating your ass. 227 00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:56,980 And what about when you started collecting rainwater? 228 00:08:57,180 --> 00:08:58,220 We were in a drought. 229 00:08:58,420 --> 00:08:59,950 I decreased my water consumption. 230 00:09:00,150 --> 00:09:02,690 And this neighborhood was swarming with mosquitoes. 231 00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:05,390 The kid down the street got bit in his eye. 232 00:09:05,590 --> 00:09:07,330 I had to stop his daddy from beating your ass. 233 00:09:07,530 --> 00:09:09,190 Okay. Well, to be fair, 234 00:09:09,390 --> 00:09:12,460 that was the same guy from the blackout, and... 235 00:09:12,670 --> 00:09:13,970 I think he has anger issues. 236 00:09:14,170 --> 00:09:17,070 Okay. (alarms blaring) 237 00:09:17,270 --> 00:09:19,300 Oh, look, it's one of those emergency alerts. 238 00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:20,710 It says that there's a... 239 00:09:20,910 --> 00:09:22,840 mountain lion loose in the neighborhood. 240 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,110 Wait a second. You guys got an alert? 241 00:09:25,310 --> 00:09:26,240 I didn't get an alert. 242 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:27,980 (alarm blaring) 243 00:09:28,180 --> 00:09:30,600 It's telling us to shelter in place. 244 00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:32,790 You all are getting this? 245 00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:35,600 It's only my phone that doesn't care about me? 246 00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:38,660 Remain indoors until Animal Control 247 00:09:38,860 --> 00:09:41,330 can find and sedate the lion. 248 00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:42,860 Ha! You ain't got to tell me. 249 00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:44,960 Yeah, with Black people, you just need two words, 250 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,900 "mountain" and "lion," and we ain't going out there. 251 00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:49,750 * * 252 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:58,280 REPORTER: 100-year-old Bernice Truck has always had a dream. 253 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,910 There's a mountain lion loose in the neighborhood, 254 00:10:01,110 --> 00:10:02,880 and all the local news wants to talk about 255 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,420 is a 100-year-old lady who's skydiving. 256 00:10:05,620 --> 00:10:08,750 I mean, at this point, what's she really risking? 257 00:10:08,950 --> 00:10:11,560 Baby, don't say that. 258 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:12,560 Hold on. 259 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:15,130 Grover's home. 260 00:10:15,330 --> 00:10:17,300 Our son is in our house alone. 261 00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:19,930 No. What? You can't go out there, Gemma. 262 00:10:20,130 --> 00:10:22,170 There's a mountain lion. Are you crazy? 263 00:10:22,370 --> 00:10:24,620 See? That's why they need those alerts. 264 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:27,970 Okay, Gemma, look, let's not panic. 265 00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:29,310 All right, he's fine. 266 00:10:29,510 --> 00:10:30,740 He's in the house. The doors are shut. 267 00:10:30,940 --> 00:10:32,680 Grover knows not to open the door for strangers. 268 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:34,310 What about mountain lions? 269 00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:35,680 Okay, well, Gemma, if Grover doesn't know 270 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:37,080 not to open the door for a mountain lion, 271 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:38,630 we have bigger problems. 272 00:10:41,940 --> 00:10:44,170 Grover. Grover, can you hear me? 273 00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:47,130 Hey, Mom. 274 00:10:47,330 --> 00:10:48,990 There's a mountain lion on the loose. 275 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,030 I know. I got an alert on my phone. 276 00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:53,030 You got to be kidding me. 277 00:10:53,230 --> 00:10:55,980 Yeah-- my phone wants me dead. 278 00:10:57,150 --> 00:10:58,370 Grover. 279 00:10:58,570 --> 00:10:59,810 Stay inside. 280 00:11:00,010 --> 00:11:03,630 Don't open the door for any person... or animal. 281 00:11:04,590 --> 00:11:06,380 We'll be over as soon as we can. 282 00:11:06,580 --> 00:11:08,110 So, first I don't get to go 283 00:11:08,310 --> 00:11:09,650 to school because of a fire, 284 00:11:09,850 --> 00:11:11,650 and now I have to hang out in my house 285 00:11:11,850 --> 00:11:14,550 without supervision for who knows how long? 286 00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:17,140 I know, sweetie. 287 00:11:19,270 --> 00:11:21,310 Poor little thing. 288 00:11:25,350 --> 00:11:27,530 If this is the House of the Dragon, 289 00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,000 then where's the dragon? 290 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:32,020 This is nothing but ladies taking baths. 291 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,560 Mom would definitely say this is not appropriate. 292 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,530 But Mom's not here. 293 00:11:43,430 --> 00:11:47,320 And we will also have the Carolina pulled pork sandwich. 294 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:49,720 Oh, yeah, bread on the side so it doesn't get soggy. 295 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,020 Yeah, uh, bread on the side. 296 00:11:52,220 --> 00:11:53,430 Extra sauce, also on the side. 297 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:56,130 Extra sauce, please. Mm-hmm. 298 00:11:56,330 --> 00:11:58,100 On the side. On the side. 299 00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,680 Don't let it touch the bread. 300 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,300 And we will also have the full rack of ribs. 301 00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:06,370 Oh, is that more Memphis style or Texas style? 302 00:12:06,570 --> 00:12:10,510 They are pig style, Marty. Okay. 303 00:12:10,710 --> 00:12:15,400 Oh, ask if their coleslaw is more soupy or dry. 304 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:18,830 Would you hold on for one second, please? 305 00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:21,500 No, I will not ask them that. 306 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:24,620 They about to spit in our food, man. 307 00:12:24,820 --> 00:12:27,290 You cannot be this high maintenance, Marty. 308 00:12:27,490 --> 00:12:29,010 You are not pretty enough. 309 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:32,030 They don't know how pretty I am. Please. 310 00:12:32,230 --> 00:12:33,770 (phone beeping) (groans) 311 00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:35,900 Oh, great, see, now that's Mama calling. 312 00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:37,400 And she is worse than you are. 313 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:38,640 Man, I ain't got time for this. 314 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:40,010 I'm gonna just finish this order. 315 00:12:40,210 --> 00:12:42,340 Hello? Yes, that will be all, please. 316 00:12:42,540 --> 00:12:45,110 Oh, no, ooh, ask if their lemon pie 317 00:12:45,310 --> 00:12:47,700 has more whipped cream or meringue. 318 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,380 I'm so sorry. The call dropped. 319 00:12:51,580 --> 00:12:53,290 I just saw you hang up. 320 00:12:53,490 --> 00:12:55,670 That's why it dropped. 321 00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:01,060 Okay, well, please call me back when you get this, Malcolm. 322 00:13:01,260 --> 00:13:04,200 CALVIN: I mean, them mountain lions is getting close. 323 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:05,960 Look, babe, that's the Johnsons' house. 324 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,230 No. What? 325 00:13:07,430 --> 00:13:09,380 Uh, the Black Johnsons. 326 00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:12,040 I can tell because they leave 327 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:13,710 their Christmas lights up all year long. 328 00:13:13,910 --> 00:13:17,280 Mm. I kind of like it. It keeps me in the spirit. 329 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:21,430 It's March. There should not be a Santa on that roof. 330 00:13:23,930 --> 00:13:25,350 Somebody's getting hangry. 331 00:13:25,550 --> 00:13:28,190 Dave, I don't know what the hell that means, 332 00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:29,290 but I am not in the mood. 333 00:13:29,490 --> 00:13:32,410 I am hungry and I'm angry. 334 00:13:34,810 --> 00:13:35,860 I'm starving, too. 335 00:13:36,060 --> 00:13:37,800 You know what? 336 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,900 Some of those boxes you threw out were sealed. 337 00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:42,600 I'm getting some Triscuits. Ooh. What? 338 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,500 Will you see if there's anything sweet in there? 339 00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:46,870 Like a... Like a scone or an éclair? 340 00:13:47,070 --> 00:13:49,210 David, I'm going to the trash. 341 00:13:49,410 --> 00:13:51,290 I'm not popping by the bakery. 342 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:01,520 Something knocked over our trash cans. 343 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,420 Oh, no. The raccoon is back. 344 00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:06,120 Oh, no, this was way bigger than a raccoon. 345 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:09,340 Oh, my God. It's the mountain lion. 346 00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,400 Before we all die, 347 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,930 I just want to make it clear that, 348 00:14:14,130 --> 00:14:16,320 Dave, this is all your fault! That's right. 349 00:14:19,290 --> 00:14:20,210 How so? 350 00:14:20,410 --> 00:14:22,070 Because your composting 351 00:14:22,270 --> 00:14:24,410 attracted the raccoons, which made Tina 352 00:14:24,610 --> 00:14:28,210 throw out our food, which drew the mountain lion 353 00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:29,780 right to our front door. Mm-hmm. 354 00:14:29,980 --> 00:14:31,580 I should've let that man beat your ass. 355 00:14:31,780 --> 00:14:33,640 You should've. 356 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,150 I can't leave our son alone. 357 00:14:36,350 --> 00:14:38,390 I don't care what's out there. I'm going to be with my son. 358 00:14:38,590 --> 00:14:39,990 All right, honey. Wait. 359 00:14:40,190 --> 00:14:41,430 (helicopter blades whirring) 360 00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:44,350 (man speaks indistinctly over speaker) 361 00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:54,470 What were they saying? 362 00:14:54,670 --> 00:14:56,470 Whatever it was, it translates to 363 00:14:56,670 --> 00:14:58,530 "Get your butt back in the house, woman." 364 00:15:00,660 --> 00:15:02,850 Look, Grover's alone. 365 00:15:03,050 --> 00:15:05,470 He must be so scared. 366 00:15:07,170 --> 00:15:08,770 Okay. 367 00:15:09,570 --> 00:15:10,790 Now let's find out 368 00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:13,910 why I'm not allowed to watch Euphoria. 369 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,580 * * 370 00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:24,840 Yo... 371 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,270 What is with all the helicopters? 372 00:15:27,470 --> 00:15:28,970 It's got to be a police chase. 373 00:15:29,170 --> 00:15:30,940 I hope it's still on TV. 374 00:15:31,140 --> 00:15:32,180 (laughs) 375 00:15:32,380 --> 00:15:34,930 I hope it's not us. 376 00:15:38,970 --> 00:15:40,020 Yo. 377 00:15:40,220 --> 00:15:41,720 Look at all this trash. 378 00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:44,860 Uh-oh. Somebody's gonna have to clean all this up. 379 00:15:45,060 --> 00:15:46,220 Not it. 380 00:15:46,420 --> 00:15:48,330 Hold on, hey, hey, hey, hey. 381 00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:50,260 Are you really going to be that juvenile? 382 00:15:50,460 --> 00:15:51,600 (sighs) 383 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:52,600 Yes. 384 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:53,600 No! 385 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:54,780 Malcolm! 386 00:15:55,380 --> 00:15:56,970 Hey, hey. I got the food. 387 00:15:57,170 --> 00:15:58,470 Are you crazy? 388 00:15:58,670 --> 00:16:00,570 Why didn't you answer the phone when I called you? 389 00:16:00,770 --> 00:16:02,370 There's a mountain lion loose out there. 390 00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:04,180 Out where? I didn't get an alert. 391 00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:07,660 Oh, it's not just me. Yes. 392 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,120 Where's your brother? 393 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:11,450 He's out there cleaning up the garbage. 394 00:16:11,650 --> 00:16:13,320 Oh, my God. Calvin, go get my baby. 395 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:14,320 I'm on it. 396 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:15,350 I'll go with you, Pop. 397 00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:16,820 Oh, no, you won't. Uh-uh. 398 00:16:17,020 --> 00:16:18,070 You could get killed. 399 00:16:19,070 --> 00:16:20,060 I'll go. 400 00:16:20,260 --> 00:16:21,190 Yeah, go ahead, Dave. Go, go. 401 00:16:21,390 --> 00:16:23,580 Go! 402 00:16:24,710 --> 00:16:26,060 Daddy! 403 00:16:26,260 --> 00:16:27,630 Don't let me go out like this! 404 00:16:27,830 --> 00:16:29,680 Oh. 405 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,870 I've never been to Japan. I've never whitewater rafted. 406 00:16:34,070 --> 00:16:36,660 There's two or three more Avatars coming out. 407 00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:39,880 Well, what do you do with a mountain lion? 408 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,150 I think you're supposed to punch it in the nose. 409 00:16:42,350 --> 00:16:43,280 That's a shark. 410 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,220 DAVE: Okay. All right. 411 00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:47,050 Uh, stay perfectly still. 412 00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:48,690 That's a T. rex. 413 00:16:48,890 --> 00:16:50,460 Well, I'm hearing a lot of noes. 414 00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:51,890 Why don't you throw out some ideas? 415 00:16:52,090 --> 00:16:53,060 Okay, okay. 416 00:16:53,260 --> 00:16:54,830 Marty, what you got in the bag? 417 00:16:55,030 --> 00:16:57,560 It's a Carolina pulled pork sandwich. 418 00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:59,850 Bread on the side, sauce on the side. 419 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:02,930 You are your mama's son. 420 00:17:03,140 --> 00:17:05,000 All right, you know what? 421 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,810 I got this. Okay? Come on. 422 00:17:08,010 --> 00:17:11,040 All right, everybody just stay still. (growling) 423 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:12,840 Hey, big cat. 424 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,810 Hey there, Mr. Lion. 425 00:17:16,010 --> 00:17:18,320 How you doing? You want some barbecue? 426 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:19,380 (roaring) 427 00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:22,790 Whoa! (groans) Mama. Okay. 428 00:17:22,990 --> 00:17:25,820 N-Nice smile. Nice smile. I like it. Okay. 429 00:17:26,020 --> 00:17:29,260 All right. It's good barbecue. Yummy, yummy, yummy. 430 00:17:29,460 --> 00:17:31,560 Okay... You eat meat, right? 431 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:35,200 You're not one of those vegan L.A. lions, are you? 432 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:36,900 Go! Get in there! 433 00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:38,640 We haven't tried this particular place, 434 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,590 but it did get four stars on Yelp. 435 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,810 It's a mountain lion, not a food critic. 436 00:17:44,010 --> 00:17:45,960 Okay. 437 00:17:48,830 --> 00:17:50,550 Go, go, go! Shut the door, go shut it! 438 00:17:50,750 --> 00:17:51,920 Go shut the door! 439 00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:53,390 Whoo! Oh! 440 00:17:53,590 --> 00:17:54,890 Whew. 441 00:17:55,090 --> 00:17:56,520 We got him! 442 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,690 Don't mess with the dynamic duo. 443 00:17:59,890 --> 00:18:01,130 Duo? 444 00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,600 Dave, I went face to face with a mountain lion. 445 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,510 All you did was shut the door. 446 00:18:07,350 --> 00:18:09,170 Oh, my God, Daddy. 447 00:18:09,370 --> 00:18:10,640 You saved my life. 448 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:14,520 You guys are my Blackman and Robin. 449 00:18:16,890 --> 00:18:20,600 If the TV news comes by, you got to say that. 450 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:23,950 Which one am I? 451 00:18:24,150 --> 00:18:25,930 * * 452 00:18:31,470 --> 00:18:33,230 REPORTER: ...where the mountain lion was sedated 453 00:18:33,430 --> 00:18:35,790 and will be released back into the wild. 454 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,200 Coming up after the break, 455 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:41,550 a 100-year-old woman dies in a skydiving accident. 456 00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:46,170 And there you go, little bro. 457 00:18:46,370 --> 00:18:48,070 Oh. Now, just so you know, 458 00:18:48,270 --> 00:18:49,710 uh, I wanted to come out there 459 00:18:49,910 --> 00:18:51,040 and save you, but, uh, you know, 460 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:52,610 Mama wouldn't let me. 461 00:18:52,810 --> 00:18:54,410 Aw. It's okay, Malcolm. 462 00:18:54,610 --> 00:18:56,660 Sometimes fear immobilizes you. 463 00:18:59,730 --> 00:19:01,970 I said Mama wouldn't let me. 464 00:19:02,740 --> 00:19:05,120 It's okay to be afraid of lions, big brother. 465 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:06,670 I still look up to you. 466 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,630 Grover, don't you want any food? 467 00:19:12,830 --> 00:19:15,350 Thanks, Mom, but... 468 00:19:17,150 --> 00:19:18,740 I'm good. 469 00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:22,440 Poor kid must have been worried sick. Aw. 470 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:25,710 Look, I know today has been crazy, and... 471 00:19:25,910 --> 00:19:27,040 we didn't get a chance to talk 472 00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,750 about the whole school musical thing. 473 00:19:28,950 --> 00:19:31,280 Oh, it's fine. Today reminded me of what's really important. 474 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,250 Don't worry about casting that Brockwell kid. 475 00:19:34,450 --> 00:19:36,850 You're in charge. You cast whoever you want. 476 00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:38,260 Oh, thank you. 477 00:19:38,460 --> 00:19:39,960 But I totally understand, you know, 478 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:41,430 you're under a lot of pressure, 479 00:19:41,630 --> 00:19:43,930 so I will put Cooper in the musical. 480 00:19:44,130 --> 00:19:47,700 He can be townsperson number two. 481 00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:49,100 Townsperson number two? 482 00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:51,070 His only line is, "Here comes Shrek." 483 00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:53,320 But it's your call. 484 00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:55,470 (mouths) 485 00:19:55,670 --> 00:19:58,280 Hey, Dave. I know I'm hard on you sometimes, but 486 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,410 you really stepped up out there today. 487 00:20:00,610 --> 00:20:01,850 Thanks for having my back. 488 00:20:02,050 --> 00:20:04,550 That's what best friends are for. And you know what? 489 00:20:04,750 --> 00:20:07,690 I am going to share some of the fruits 490 00:20:07,890 --> 00:20:09,150 of my composting with you. 491 00:20:09,350 --> 00:20:10,590 Grew these in my garden. 492 00:20:10,790 --> 00:20:12,360 Uh... 493 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:13,360 I'm not going to eat a strawberry 494 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,630 you grew in the trash. 495 00:20:15,830 --> 00:20:17,750 You're missing out. 496 00:20:23,420 --> 00:20:25,040 It's so... It's so... 497 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:26,550 It's so good. 498 00:20:28,990 --> 00:20:30,210 (disposal crunching) 499 00:20:30,410 --> 00:20:32,310 What? You're not gonna compost that? 500 00:20:32,510 --> 00:20:34,080 Captioning sponsored by CBS 501 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:35,880 and TOYOTA. 502 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:37,700 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org