1 00:00:07,470 --> 00:00:09,090 This coffee is so good. 2 00:00:09,290 --> 00:00:10,820 It's got a nice body, 3 00:00:11,020 --> 00:00:12,930 a lot of light, biscuity notes up front, 4 00:00:13,130 --> 00:00:14,090 but it fades to reveal 5 00:00:14,290 --> 00:00:15,590 an earthy yet creamy finish. 6 00:00:15,790 --> 00:00:17,880 Is it a shade-grown single origin? 7 00:00:19,010 --> 00:00:21,480 It's Folgers, Dave. 8 00:00:23,050 --> 00:00:24,550 That was my next guess. 9 00:00:25,990 --> 00:00:28,040 Hey-hey. Hey, Pops. 10 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:30,280 We got a package at our house addressed to you. 11 00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:31,610 Well, all right. 12 00:00:31,810 --> 00:00:33,480 And with a few days to spare, 13 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:36,550 I finally got the perfect present for Tina's birthday. 14 00:00:36,750 --> 00:00:38,750 Got to do it big for your boo. (chuckles) 15 00:00:38,950 --> 00:00:41,940 Yeah, and Dad has a bad history with Mom's birthdays. 16 00:00:42,940 --> 00:00:45,020 Yep, he is 0 for all of them. Yeah. 17 00:00:45,220 --> 00:00:47,530 Remember when he got her that fancy vacuum cleaner? 18 00:00:47,730 --> 00:00:49,400 Oh, she was so upset. 19 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:53,480 She vacuumed through every football game that season. 20 00:00:54,620 --> 00:00:56,640 Well, don't forget her 40th. 21 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:57,700 The cake. 22 00:00:57,900 --> 00:00:58,840 Mm. 23 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:00,070 Was it a carrot cake? 24 00:01:00,270 --> 00:01:01,970 You know, vegetables have no place in cakes. 25 00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:03,360 Full stop. 26 00:01:04,290 --> 00:01:05,480 I like zucchini bread. 27 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:06,660 No! 28 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,280 It turns out that she was allergic. 29 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:12,350 Her face swelled up like a blowfish. 30 00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,420 That's why the next year, I got her a car. 31 00:01:14,620 --> 00:01:17,040 And ran over her foot with said car. 32 00:01:18,410 --> 00:01:20,860 Well, I couldn't see over the big bow. 33 00:01:21,060 --> 00:01:23,050 But this year is going to be different. 34 00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:26,470 I got her the most amazing gift. 35 00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,930 A genuine Chanel jacket 36 00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:31,650 straight off the runways of Paris. 37 00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:36,130 Look like it came straight from the Guangdong Province. 38 00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:38,110 (chuckles) 39 00:01:38,310 --> 00:01:39,880 She's gonna love it, baby... 40 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:41,010 DAVE: Here we go. 41 00:01:41,210 --> 00:01:43,770 Ah, yes. Oh, no. 42 00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:48,020 Hey, man, that's too small. 43 00:01:48,220 --> 00:01:49,620 I can see that, Dave. 44 00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:53,990 Yeah, so I don't have to point out that it's spelled "channel"? 45 00:01:54,190 --> 00:01:55,430 Uh, no. 46 00:01:55,630 --> 00:01:57,730 Well, looks like your streak continues. 47 00:01:57,930 --> 00:01:59,080 (laughs) 48 00:02:02,420 --> 00:02:03,340 Hey. CALVIN: Hey. 49 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:04,840 Now, what are you boys up to? 50 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:06,570 Nothing. (laughs) 51 00:02:06,770 --> 00:02:08,340 Well, I hope you're not getting me 52 00:02:08,540 --> 00:02:10,410 anything extravagant for my birthday. 53 00:02:10,610 --> 00:02:13,510 I don't need anything. All I need is you. 54 00:02:13,710 --> 00:02:15,210 Well, you know you got that. 55 00:02:15,410 --> 00:02:17,020 You know? But I got to do 56 00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:18,680 a little something for my baby, now. 57 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:21,050 Okay, I'm just saying, when you look this good 58 00:02:21,250 --> 00:02:23,820 at my age, you can't ask for anything more, right? 59 00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:25,320 You know what I mean? You know that's right. 60 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,330 You know what I mean? Fine as hell. 61 00:02:27,530 --> 00:02:29,400 You do it, Mama. Okay. 62 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:30,960 (Malcolm chuckles) 63 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:34,080 Oh, man, she is definitely going to want more. 64 00:02:35,650 --> 00:02:38,270 Luckily, we found the perfect gift. 65 00:02:38,470 --> 00:02:39,810 Oh, yes, we did. 66 00:02:40,010 --> 00:02:41,540 The latest in ergonomic sneakers 67 00:02:41,740 --> 00:02:43,580 because she's always complaining about how her feet hurt. 68 00:02:43,780 --> 00:02:45,760 Well, they did get run over. 69 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:48,980 Okay, how much do you want for 'em? 70 00:02:49,180 --> 00:02:51,480 (chuckles) Daddy, they're not for sale. 71 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:52,790 Come on, guys. 72 00:02:52,990 --> 00:02:55,190 Look, I'll give you $300 cash right now. 73 00:02:55,390 --> 00:02:57,520 (laughs) No, my brother. 74 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:58,860 You have got to get your own. 75 00:02:59,060 --> 00:02:59,890 (laughter) 76 00:03:00,090 --> 00:03:01,230 Watch out. 77 00:03:01,430 --> 00:03:03,260 Move out the way. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, 78 00:03:03,460 --> 00:03:05,210 mm-hmm. Ooh! 79 00:03:06,250 --> 00:03:08,200 * Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood * 80 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:09,820 * Welcome to the hood. * 81 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:16,960 Oh, hey, babe. 82 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:20,310 What's going on? 83 00:03:20,510 --> 00:03:22,950 Our online fundraising auction goes live tonight, 84 00:03:23,150 --> 00:03:24,580 and our donations suck. 85 00:03:24,780 --> 00:03:27,670 What are you talking about? I just donated juggling lessons. 86 00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:30,760 Yeah. 87 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:33,830 Anyway, I'm waiting for Jerry O'Connell 88 00:03:34,030 --> 00:03:35,230 to walk by to pick up his kids. 89 00:03:35,430 --> 00:03:37,130 I'm going to "accidentally" bump into him 90 00:03:37,330 --> 00:03:39,270 and get him to donate VIP tickets to The Talk. 91 00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:42,030 Oh, finally, the day I get to chop it up with Jerry. 92 00:03:42,230 --> 00:03:43,470 Ooh, there he is. 93 00:03:43,670 --> 00:03:44,540 He's mine. Jerry. 94 00:03:44,740 --> 00:03:46,440 Jerry! Ooh! Oh! 95 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:47,940 Oh... 96 00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:50,840 Fire! Uh, false alarm. (chuckles) 97 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:51,980 Hey. 98 00:03:52,180 --> 00:03:54,050 You okay? Yeah, I'm fine. 99 00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:55,810 Hey, can I ask you a quick question? 100 00:03:56,010 --> 00:03:57,680 No, I don't know how I got 101 00:03:57,880 --> 00:03:59,400 Rebecca Romijn to marry me. 102 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:02,490 (strained laughter) 103 00:04:02,690 --> 00:04:05,290 That's funny. I-I'm her husband Dave. 104 00:04:05,490 --> 00:04:08,040 I don't know how I got her to marry me either. Oh. 105 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,960 So, anyway, our big online fundraiser 106 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:13,530 is coming up, and I was wondering 107 00:04:13,730 --> 00:04:15,800 if you might be able to donate something to auction off. 108 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,270 Of course. I'm pretty sure 109 00:04:17,470 --> 00:04:20,040 I have a Kindle that's still in the box. 110 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:21,040 Brand-new. 111 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:24,380 Oh, uh, yeah, thanks. 112 00:04:24,580 --> 00:04:27,380 I'm kidding. How many VIP tickets to The Talk do you need? 113 00:04:27,580 --> 00:04:30,780 Oh, four. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. 114 00:04:30,980 --> 00:04:32,570 Hooah. 115 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:34,690 I'm sorry? 116 00:04:34,890 --> 00:04:35,850 No, I'm-- I just-- 117 00:04:36,050 --> 00:04:37,060 I-I don't... Oh. 118 00:04:37,260 --> 00:04:38,890 I don't mean to embarrass you, 119 00:04:39,090 --> 00:04:43,330 but, uh, I just-- Scent of a Woman is my favorite movie. 120 00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:46,000 Me, too. But that was Chris O'Donnell. 121 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:47,750 I'm Jerry O'Connell. 122 00:04:53,820 --> 00:04:57,390 * * 123 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:00,650 I'll take any idea you got. 124 00:05:00,850 --> 00:05:03,320 I am desperate to find something special. 125 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,250 Well, I got her this amazing perfume 126 00:05:05,450 --> 00:05:07,320 I found on Oprah's Favorite Things list. 127 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:10,320 It's designed by her personal scent sommelier. 128 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:14,530 Perfect. I'll give you $300 cash right here, right now. 129 00:05:14,730 --> 00:05:18,200 Calvin. Come on, it's your wife's birthday. 130 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:19,670 You've got to dig deeper. 131 00:05:19,870 --> 00:05:21,670 All right, $350. 132 00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:23,070 Calvin! 133 00:05:23,270 --> 00:05:25,970 Just, whenever I ask her what she wants, 134 00:05:26,170 --> 00:05:28,170 she says, "All I need is you." 135 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:29,270 Well, yeah, that's what we all say, 136 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:32,080 but we actually want the gift. 137 00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:33,310 Well, 138 00:05:33,510 --> 00:05:34,750 you know, I got Miss Tina a present. 139 00:05:34,950 --> 00:05:37,850 I'm going to play her a song on my recorder. 140 00:05:38,050 --> 00:05:39,280 I've been practicing for weeks. 141 00:05:39,490 --> 00:05:42,890 Grover, that's really sweet and thoughtful. 142 00:05:43,090 --> 00:05:44,020 Look, say it's from me, 143 00:05:44,220 --> 00:05:45,590 I'll give you $300 cash. 144 00:05:45,790 --> 00:05:48,330 Mixed bills, tens and 20s. Ooh, money, money. 145 00:05:48,530 --> 00:05:50,500 No, no, no, no. No money. 146 00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:53,170 Come on, Calvin, don't give up. 147 00:05:53,370 --> 00:05:55,230 Why not support a good cause and get her something 148 00:05:55,430 --> 00:05:57,100 from the school auction site? 149 00:05:57,300 --> 00:06:00,070 All right, I guess it couldn't hurt. 150 00:06:00,270 --> 00:06:01,540 (groans) 151 00:06:01,740 --> 00:06:04,880 Lunch with the football coach. Boo. 152 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:06,210 Yeah. All right. 153 00:06:06,410 --> 00:06:08,080 Juggling lessons. That's got to be Dave. 154 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:09,750 (scoffs) 155 00:06:09,950 --> 00:06:11,720 A 60-pound weighted blanket? 156 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,190 How do you get out of bed? 157 00:06:13,390 --> 00:06:16,190 It's been a rough year for donations. 158 00:06:16,390 --> 00:06:17,420 Ooh, ooh, ooh. 159 00:06:17,620 --> 00:06:20,330 VIP tickets to The Talk. 160 00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:21,460 Tina loves The Talk. 161 00:06:21,660 --> 00:06:23,200 Sheryl Underwood is her girl. 162 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:24,960 All right, you know what? I'll buy those. 163 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:26,820 Great. Auction goes live tonight. 164 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:31,570 Okay, well, how about I give you $300 cash 165 00:06:31,770 --> 00:06:35,390 right now and we cut out the middleman? 166 00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:39,480 The middleman is the scholarship fund 167 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:41,110 for underprivileged kids. 168 00:06:41,310 --> 00:06:43,550 Okay, all right. $375. No. 169 00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:46,050 $400 and I take Grover for the night. 170 00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:48,690 We all know he can be a handful. 171 00:06:48,890 --> 00:06:50,440 I'm right here. 172 00:06:51,170 --> 00:06:52,890 * * 173 00:06:53,090 --> 00:06:54,590 Man, this auction is blowing up. 174 00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:57,200 I've had to up my bid, like, nine times. 175 00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:58,230 Scent of a Woman. 176 00:06:58,430 --> 00:07:00,220 How could I be so stupid? 177 00:07:00,980 --> 00:07:03,040 Okay. All right. We're down to the last minute. 178 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:04,800 Okay, here we go-- oh. 179 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:05,970 Oh... TINA: Hey. 180 00:07:06,170 --> 00:07:07,170 (clears throat) (clears throat) 181 00:07:07,370 --> 00:07:08,210 What are you boys doing out here? 182 00:07:08,410 --> 00:07:10,260 Oh, you know, uh, watching porn. 183 00:07:11,460 --> 00:07:13,050 No, we are not. 184 00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:14,680 Oh. 185 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:16,110 I get it. I get it. 186 00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:18,780 The birthday girl is going to go back inside now. 187 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:19,950 Yeah. All right. 188 00:07:20,150 --> 00:07:21,220 Bye. 189 00:07:21,420 --> 00:07:22,820 Man, that was terrible. 190 00:07:23,020 --> 00:07:25,620 You're lucky I was here. You froze up. 191 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:26,590 (computer chimes) 192 00:07:26,790 --> 00:07:29,330 Oh. Oh, man, I got to up my bid. 193 00:07:29,530 --> 00:07:31,030 Down to the final five seconds. 194 00:07:31,230 --> 00:07:32,700 Okay, here we go. Okay. 195 00:07:32,900 --> 00:07:35,670 Three, two, one. 196 00:07:35,870 --> 00:07:37,040 Yeah! Got it! 197 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:38,540 Yeah, baby! Let's go! 198 00:07:38,740 --> 00:07:39,990 You're going to the... Shh! 199 00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:44,460 Right, uh, wow, that is some pretty wild pornography. 200 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,950 * * 201 00:07:49,150 --> 00:07:52,890 (playing poorly) 202 00:07:53,090 --> 00:07:54,970 * * 203 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:01,860 Oh, wow. Aw. 204 00:08:02,060 --> 00:08:04,000 Oh, thank you, Grover. 205 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,330 Bless your little heart. 206 00:08:06,530 --> 00:08:08,130 That was beautiful. 207 00:08:08,330 --> 00:08:09,770 What was that? "Sweet Caroline"? 208 00:08:09,970 --> 00:08:12,520 I thought it was "Back That Azz Up." 209 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,410 He's been working on it all week. 210 00:08:16,610 --> 00:08:18,580 Yeah, that's easily the best that it's sounded. 211 00:08:18,780 --> 00:08:20,110 Yeah. TINA: Aw. 212 00:08:20,310 --> 00:08:23,320 Well, thank you, Johnson family, for my lovely perfume. 213 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:24,820 And the concert. 214 00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:26,950 Yeah, yeah, uh, nice effort. (laughs) 215 00:08:27,150 --> 00:08:29,240 Open ours, Mommy. Oh, oh. 216 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:33,630 Okay, let me see what my babies got me. 217 00:08:33,830 --> 00:08:35,010 Ugh. 218 00:08:38,910 --> 00:08:40,750 These are nice. 219 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,900 Is that why you said "ugh"? 220 00:08:44,100 --> 00:08:45,800 Oh, did I? No, no, I... 221 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,670 Well, they look like old lady sneakers. 222 00:08:48,870 --> 00:08:50,680 No, no, no, no, no. Th-They're not for old ladies. 223 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,180 They're just padded to relieve foot pain, 224 00:08:52,380 --> 00:08:54,930 improve posture, and prevent varicose veins. 225 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:59,120 Well, when you put it like that... 226 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:00,940 Oh, damn. 227 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:04,660 Oh, yeah. Look at that. 228 00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:06,540 They're endorsed by Marla Gibbs. 229 00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:11,080 Y'all got y'all mama some Air Gibbs? 230 00:09:13,750 --> 00:09:15,370 We have got to get Mama something else. 231 00:09:15,570 --> 00:09:16,970 Oh, yeah, y'all definitely do. 232 00:09:17,170 --> 00:09:18,570 Yeah, we know, Gemma. 233 00:09:18,770 --> 00:09:22,470 Well, babe, you're going to need someplace to wear 234 00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:24,680 your nice new Velcro kicks. 235 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,950 So here you go. Oh, that's sweet, baby. 236 00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:30,180 What'd you get me? 237 00:09:30,380 --> 00:09:31,680 Oh, my God! 238 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,420 You got me four tickets to The Talk? Yes. 239 00:09:34,620 --> 00:09:36,520 I get to see my girl Sheryl in person? 240 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:40,730 Oh, baby, this is the best gift ever. 241 00:09:40,930 --> 00:09:42,490 Hit it, Grover. I'm feeling it. 242 00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:44,330 (playing poorly) I'm feeling it. 243 00:09:44,530 --> 00:09:47,050 * * 244 00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:58,310 * * 245 00:09:58,510 --> 00:10:01,210 Baby, we are in the front row. 246 00:10:01,410 --> 00:10:03,650 I mean, Sheryl is going to be right there. 247 00:10:03,850 --> 00:10:04,920 I could touch her. 248 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:06,220 Okay, you know what? You know who's else 249 00:10:06,420 --> 00:10:07,890 gonna be right here is security. 250 00:10:08,090 --> 00:10:09,150 Don't do that, okay? 251 00:10:09,350 --> 00:10:10,620 Okay. 252 00:10:10,820 --> 00:10:12,090 So exciting. 253 00:10:12,290 --> 00:10:13,690 You know, Jerry is definitely going to see me. 254 00:10:13,890 --> 00:10:16,730 This is the last chance for me to save our friendship. 255 00:10:16,930 --> 00:10:18,330 There is no friendship. 256 00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:21,920 Well, not with that attitude, there isn't. 257 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:26,300 ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Talk. 258 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,140 - * You and me * - * You and me * 259 00:10:28,340 --> 00:10:30,280 * You know we make some real good company * 260 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:31,510 * Company... * 261 00:10:31,710 --> 00:10:33,750 Oh, my God, it's Sheryl! It's Sheryl! 262 00:10:33,950 --> 00:10:35,680 * You know we make some real good company * 263 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:37,320 Hi, Sheryl! 264 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,620 * * 265 00:10:39,820 --> 00:10:41,420 * Hoppin', we poppin', all the magic we makin' * 266 00:10:41,620 --> 00:10:44,860 * Lord knows I love conversating with you * 267 00:10:45,060 --> 00:10:47,860 (chanting): Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! 268 00:10:48,060 --> 00:10:49,090 Jerry! 269 00:10:49,290 --> 00:10:50,700 Wrong show. Wrong Jerry. Stop doing that. 270 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:51,700 Stop doing that. 271 00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:53,350 (laughing) 272 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:57,070 * * 273 00:10:57,270 --> 00:10:59,170 Okay, here's a gift idea. 274 00:10:59,370 --> 00:11:01,640 An LED light therapy rejuvenation mask. 275 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,180 Are you crazy? 276 00:11:03,380 --> 00:11:06,030 That'll be like telling Mama her face isn't juvenated. 277 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,450 See, man, look, look. Look at this. 278 00:11:11,650 --> 00:11:15,120 Ah. Things were so easy when we were little. Huh. 279 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:17,690 We made her an ugly necklace out of macaroni 280 00:11:17,890 --> 00:11:18,960 and she loved it. 281 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:22,060 Oh, man. Yeah, I remember that. 282 00:11:22,260 --> 00:11:23,500 You know, one time 283 00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:25,930 I gave her a Lando Calrissian action figure 284 00:11:26,130 --> 00:11:27,370 that she bought me, 285 00:11:27,570 --> 00:11:29,000 and she said it was her favorite gift ever. 286 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:32,690 Yeah, and then you took it right back. 287 00:11:33,490 --> 00:11:35,920 She wasn't gonna play with it. 288 00:11:36,890 --> 00:11:40,150 Well, as you know, we here on The Talk are big fans of chili. 289 00:11:40,350 --> 00:11:42,450 And today our own Sheryl Underwood 290 00:11:42,650 --> 00:11:45,050 is going to share her secret recipe. 291 00:11:45,250 --> 00:11:46,750 (cheering and applauding) 292 00:11:46,950 --> 00:11:49,390 And spoiler alert, it is good. 293 00:11:49,590 --> 00:11:50,560 So good. 294 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:52,320 Oh, you guys, stop. 295 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,660 Okay, now, I'm going to invite a few 296 00:11:54,860 --> 00:11:57,730 lucky audience members up on stage to sample it. 297 00:11:57,930 --> 00:11:59,100 Anybody hungry? 298 00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:00,330 Me! Me, me, me! Me! Oh! 299 00:12:00,530 --> 00:12:01,930 I'm starving, I'm starving! 300 00:12:02,130 --> 00:12:03,700 Hey, birthday girl. Birthday girl right here. 301 00:12:03,900 --> 00:12:05,900 Oh, yeah, a-and the birthday girl's friends. 302 00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,070 And the birthday girl's friend. 303 00:12:07,270 --> 00:12:08,440 Okay, you four. Come on. 304 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:09,610 Oh. Okay! 305 00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:11,610 Come on, baby. Come on, let's go. 306 00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:13,280 Oh, I'm so excited. 307 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:14,610 Hey. 308 00:12:14,810 --> 00:12:16,850 Come on up. 309 00:12:17,050 --> 00:12:19,550 Okay, okay. Where are you from? 310 00:12:19,750 --> 00:12:21,050 Pasadena, Sheryl. 311 00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:22,690 Uh-huh. I'm Tina and you're Sheryl. 312 00:12:22,890 --> 00:12:24,260 All day, every day. 313 00:12:24,460 --> 00:12:27,290 Sheryl is standing right here, Calvin. She's right here. 314 00:12:27,490 --> 00:12:28,690 I can see that, babe. 315 00:12:28,890 --> 00:12:30,360 Was 'cause your man finally got you 316 00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:31,630 a great birthday present. 317 00:12:31,830 --> 00:12:33,200 Yes, you did, baby... you're so sweet. 318 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:35,030 And your birthday's about to get even better 319 00:12:35,230 --> 00:12:37,170 because I'm going to make you some chili. 320 00:12:37,370 --> 00:12:38,300 GEMMA: Ooh. Ooh! 321 00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:39,910 (audience applauding) 322 00:12:40,110 --> 00:12:41,670 Hey, Jerry O'Connell. 323 00:12:41,870 --> 00:12:45,530 Why don't you come and, uh, Stand by Me? 324 00:12:46,860 --> 00:12:48,510 Yes, that was, uh, that was 325 00:12:48,710 --> 00:12:51,000 a movie I was actually in. Very good. Very good. 326 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,720 Very good. All right, let's get cooking. 327 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:56,150 Yes. Show me the chili! 328 00:12:56,350 --> 00:12:58,020 Okay. Yeah. I was also in Jerry Maguire. 329 00:12:58,220 --> 00:12:59,960 Let's move on. We're moving on. 330 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:01,160 DAVE: Got him. 331 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,200 Okay, I need an assistant chef. 332 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:05,730 Oh, oh, you got to pick my baby. 333 00:13:05,930 --> 00:13:08,530 She's been cooking me the best chili for over 30 years. 334 00:13:08,730 --> 00:13:09,670 Oh, stop it, baby. 335 00:13:09,870 --> 00:13:13,240 Oh, looks like I got some competition. 336 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:16,640 Oh, wow. Mom is on TV cooking with her hero. 337 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:18,740 DAVE: What kind of cheese are you going to use, 338 00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:24,300 Jerry O'Connell? Monterey Jack or... Kangaroo Jack? (chuckles) 339 00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:27,170 Oh, David. 340 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,260 As every great cook knows, 341 00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:32,830 the secret to chili is the spices. 342 00:13:33,030 --> 00:13:35,160 And I got my own special blend. 343 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:37,600 Cayenne. Ooh, all right, now. 344 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:40,030 Paprika. Oh, I see you. I see you. 345 00:13:40,230 --> 00:13:41,030 Mustard seed. 346 00:13:41,230 --> 00:13:43,070 AKBAR: Ooh. Huh? 347 00:13:43,270 --> 00:13:46,140 And a little something-something that they won't see coming. 348 00:13:46,340 --> 00:13:47,510 Horseradish. 349 00:13:47,710 --> 00:13:49,170 Mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. 350 00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:50,610 NATALIE: All right, everybody, 351 00:13:50,810 --> 00:13:52,880 you have Sheryl's chili in front of you, 352 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:54,510 so let's dig in. 353 00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:56,210 DAVE: All right. 354 00:13:56,410 --> 00:13:59,150 AKBAR: Okay. All right. Okay. 355 00:13:59,350 --> 00:14:01,150 (clears throat) Mmm. 356 00:14:01,350 --> 00:14:03,390 Mmm. This is good. 357 00:14:03,590 --> 00:14:04,790 This is so good, Sheryl. 358 00:14:04,990 --> 00:14:06,020 It's really good. 359 00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:07,990 Here you go, birthday girl. 360 00:14:08,190 --> 00:14:10,660 Bon appétit. All right. Okay. 361 00:14:10,860 --> 00:14:13,450 Thank you, Sheryl. 362 00:14:20,390 --> 00:14:22,340 You don't like it? 363 00:14:22,540 --> 00:14:24,490 I do. It's so good. 364 00:14:25,930 --> 00:14:27,810 This is a masterpiece. Yeah. 365 00:14:28,010 --> 00:14:31,670 You know what? All this need is a whole bunch of crackers. 366 00:14:34,070 --> 00:14:36,190 Tina doesn't like my chili. 367 00:14:36,390 --> 00:14:37,760 You all like my chili, right? 368 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,090 Oh, yeah, yeah, so, so good. It's so yummy. 369 00:14:40,290 --> 00:14:41,490 Amazing. 370 00:14:41,690 --> 00:14:43,830 I'm almost done. Yeah. Hey. This is spicy. 371 00:14:44,030 --> 00:14:46,130 So it's just you. No. 372 00:14:46,330 --> 00:14:48,430 No, no, no. Because I-I love it. 373 00:14:48,630 --> 00:14:50,270 I love it. The chili is good. 374 00:14:50,470 --> 00:14:51,900 Okay, then-then eat some more. 375 00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,010 Go ahead. 376 00:14:53,210 --> 00:14:55,710 Okay, let me... Mangia. 377 00:14:55,910 --> 00:14:58,540 ...have some more chili. (forced laugh) 378 00:14:58,740 --> 00:15:00,430 (groans) 379 00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,020 I think this segment is over. 380 00:15:09,220 --> 00:15:13,130 And I think y'all been lying about my chili this whole time. 381 00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:14,460 JERRY: You know what? 382 00:15:14,660 --> 00:15:16,490 We're going to pay some bills right now, okay? 383 00:15:16,690 --> 00:15:18,930 We'll be right back with more Talk. 384 00:15:19,130 --> 00:15:21,320 (audience applauding) 385 00:15:22,420 --> 00:15:24,300 AKBAR: Aw. 386 00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:27,810 Oh, Sheryl, don't be like that. 387 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:29,210 See what you did, Akbar? 388 00:15:29,410 --> 00:15:31,580 Sheryl! 389 00:15:31,780 --> 00:15:34,910 * * 390 00:15:35,110 --> 00:15:37,020 Hey. Gemma? 391 00:15:37,220 --> 00:15:38,680 Calvin, what are you doing here? 392 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:42,750 (sighs) Look, I need you to do me a favor. 393 00:15:42,950 --> 00:15:45,120 I need to talk to Jerry O'Connell. 394 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,360 No. Nuh-uh. 395 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:48,960 After what happened this morning? 396 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:51,130 Well, that's the thing. 397 00:15:51,330 --> 00:15:53,830 Look, I finally got Tina the perfect gift, 398 00:15:54,030 --> 00:15:56,720 and it wound up being her worst birthday ever. 399 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:01,970 She told me she wished I just ran over her feet again. 400 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:04,480 I understand. 401 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:06,210 But I can't allow you to approach 402 00:16:06,410 --> 00:16:08,010 a parent on school property 403 00:16:08,210 --> 00:16:09,580 without proper... Hey, Erica. 404 00:16:09,780 --> 00:16:11,520 Ooh, there he is. Hey, Jerry! 405 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:15,690 Jerry. Oh, sorry. Oh! Why? Why? 406 00:16:15,890 --> 00:16:17,090 (stammering) 407 00:16:17,290 --> 00:16:18,860 You okay? 408 00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:20,560 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Please, please tell me 409 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,230 that guy Dave is not with you. 410 00:16:22,430 --> 00:16:24,230 Uh... 411 00:16:24,430 --> 00:16:27,280 Oh, no, no, no, I barely know that guy, man. 412 00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:30,340 Hey, look, Jerry, um, 413 00:16:30,540 --> 00:16:32,970 my wife Tina, she loves Sheryl so much, 414 00:16:33,170 --> 00:16:37,040 and, uh, this morning, you know, it-it ruined her birthday. 415 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:38,980 Uh, I think we should move on. 416 00:16:39,180 --> 00:16:41,650 Here's the weighted blanket you won at the auction. 417 00:16:41,850 --> 00:16:44,980 (grunting) 418 00:16:45,180 --> 00:16:46,220 You okay? Oh, yeah. 419 00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:47,690 I got it, I got it. 420 00:16:47,890 --> 00:16:50,360 Look, I-I was just hoping that maybe 421 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:52,360 you could put Tina in touch with Sheryl 422 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:54,060 so that she can apologize. 423 00:16:54,260 --> 00:16:55,430 Well, I-I'd love to help you out, 424 00:16:55,630 --> 00:16:56,890 but Sheryl is not upset with your wife. 425 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,500 Sheryl's upset with us for not being 426 00:16:58,700 --> 00:17:00,600 more real with her about her chili, 427 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,130 which is not great chili. 428 00:17:02,330 --> 00:17:06,500 Yeah, I'm not sure if it was even chili. 429 00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:08,440 We were just trying to spare her feelings, 430 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:10,710 and now Sheryl's embarrassed. 431 00:17:10,910 --> 00:17:12,610 She said she's never cooking on our show again. 432 00:17:12,810 --> 00:17:16,880 O-Okay, well, maybe we can help each other out. 433 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:18,650 Come on, let me help you with that blanket. 434 00:17:18,850 --> 00:17:21,520 (grunts) You know, it just so happens 435 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:23,390 my wife makes a mean chili. 436 00:17:23,590 --> 00:17:25,290 Oh, I certainly believe the mean part. 437 00:17:25,490 --> 00:17:26,860 (chuckles) Slow your roll. 438 00:17:27,060 --> 00:17:28,960 That's my wife we talking about now. 439 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,800 * * 440 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,270 SHERYL: Tina doesn't like my chili. Pause. 441 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,950 Right there. Look at my face. 442 00:17:38,790 --> 00:17:42,310 Yeah. That's not pretty. Ugh. 443 00:17:42,510 --> 00:17:43,480 You're an attractive woman, 444 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:45,630 but that's not a good face. 445 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,110 Babe, I know your birthday is over... 446 00:17:49,310 --> 00:17:51,930 Are you day-drinking with Dave? 447 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:56,200 You know, I don't think Akbar liked me either. 448 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,120 Anyway, look, I know your birthday's over, 449 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:00,430 but I got one more gift for you, 450 00:18:00,630 --> 00:18:02,330 and it's a chance to make things right. 451 00:18:02,530 --> 00:18:04,630 I just want you... So you're just gonna leave me on the front porch 452 00:18:04,830 --> 00:18:06,510 like I'm an Amazon package? 453 00:18:08,650 --> 00:18:09,730 Hello, Tina. 454 00:18:09,930 --> 00:18:12,640 Calvin, Sheryl Underwood is in my house. 455 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:15,410 I know, babe. I brought her. 456 00:18:15,610 --> 00:18:17,610 Sheryl Underwood, 457 00:18:17,810 --> 00:18:20,380 I am so sorry about this morning. 458 00:18:20,580 --> 00:18:22,350 It's, it's just my face. You know? 459 00:18:22,550 --> 00:18:23,780 It-it won't lie. 460 00:18:23,980 --> 00:18:25,420 Girl, I know it. 461 00:18:25,620 --> 00:18:27,800 I watched it back on slow-mo. 462 00:18:29,470 --> 00:18:30,720 But I want to thank you. 463 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:33,020 You were the only one that was honest with me. 464 00:18:33,230 --> 00:18:34,460 Oh. 465 00:18:34,660 --> 00:18:37,760 I hated the chili, too. Even more than her. 466 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:41,400 Little late, Jerry O'Connell superfan. 467 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,840 Uh, so he mentioned me? 468 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,970 Nobody's talking about you, Dave. 469 00:18:47,170 --> 00:18:49,970 Tina, I brought Sheryl here so that you could teach her 470 00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:51,640 how to make chili the right way. 471 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,550 Oh, hell yeah, I will. 472 00:18:53,750 --> 00:18:56,080 Come on, girl. Let me get you a glass of wine. 473 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,120 That's all right, girl. 474 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,390 I got one. 475 00:19:00,590 --> 00:19:03,460 Calvin! Sheryl Underwood is in my kitchen. 476 00:19:03,660 --> 00:19:04,960 I can see. 477 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:08,180 This is the best birthday ever. Again. 478 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:10,800 So, what do I need to know? 479 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,130 Okay, first off, the horseradish has got to go. 480 00:19:13,330 --> 00:19:14,700 That's my mother's recipe. 481 00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:16,870 Oh, she doesn't know how to cook either, huh? 482 00:19:17,070 --> 00:19:18,050 Tina! 483 00:19:24,260 --> 00:19:25,840 Ooh, okay. Where are you taking me? No, no, 484 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,550 Keep your eyes closed. Okay. 485 00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:31,080 Okay. Almost. Almost. All right. 486 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:32,750 And open 'em. 487 00:19:32,950 --> 00:19:34,570 Ta-da! 488 00:19:35,670 --> 00:19:37,090 Wow. What's all this? 489 00:19:37,290 --> 00:19:38,290 It's your present. 490 00:19:38,490 --> 00:19:40,230 Look, Ma, we-we were trying to find 491 00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:42,160 the perfect birthday present for you, 492 00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:45,630 and we remembered that you really loved this one. 493 00:19:45,830 --> 00:19:47,030 Aw. 494 00:19:47,230 --> 00:19:49,070 We remember this day as being pretty much perfect, 495 00:19:49,270 --> 00:19:50,440 so we decided to recreate it. 496 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,740 Oh, thank you. Are those sandwiches? 497 00:19:53,940 --> 00:19:54,740 Yep. 498 00:19:54,940 --> 00:19:56,790 Tuna fish and Cheetos. 499 00:19:57,690 --> 00:19:58,980 (laughs) Yep, there's the yucky face. 500 00:19:59,180 --> 00:20:00,880 There it is. 501 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:03,050 But I love it. I will eat it. 502 00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:05,750 Thank you. Boys, this is... 503 00:20:05,950 --> 00:20:07,790 This is all I could want. 504 00:20:07,990 --> 00:20:08,950 Mwah. 505 00:20:09,150 --> 00:20:09,990 My babies. Mwah. 506 00:20:10,190 --> 00:20:11,290 Happy birthday, Mama. 507 00:20:11,490 --> 00:20:12,660 Thank you. This is... Okay, Mom, 508 00:20:12,860 --> 00:20:14,060 I need you to smile, we about take a picture. 509 00:20:14,260 --> 00:20:15,060 All right, come on. Okay. 510 00:20:15,260 --> 00:20:16,590 Let's take a picture 511 00:20:16,790 --> 00:20:18,530 with my babies. 512 00:20:18,730 --> 00:20:21,000 Here we go. 513 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:22,600 Three, two... 514 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,340 What y'all looking at? 515 00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:25,600 Dad. Come on, Pop. 516 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,970 We're trying to recreate this photo. 517 00:20:28,170 --> 00:20:29,610 Oh, but, man, I didn't know. 518 00:20:29,810 --> 00:20:31,340 That's okay, baby, why don't you just get in the picture? 519 00:20:31,540 --> 00:20:33,300 Oh, okay. All right, good. Let's do it. 520 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,480 Come on, baby. Here we go. 521 00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:37,450 And three, two-- 522 00:20:37,650 --> 00:20:39,250 Ooh, do I smell Cheetos and tuna? 523 00:20:39,450 --> 00:20:40,350 Ah, Dave. David. 524 00:20:40,550 --> 00:20:42,220 They're trying to take a photo. 525 00:20:42,420 --> 00:20:45,260 Oh, you know what? Let's just do one with everybody. All right. 526 00:20:45,460 --> 00:20:46,720 Come on. Here we go. Come on, brother. 527 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,430 CALVIN: Get in. Get in. All right. Good. 528 00:20:48,630 --> 00:20:49,530 And... 529 00:20:49,730 --> 00:20:52,000 All right, everybody say chili. 530 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:53,400 Chili! 531 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,530 Captioning sponsored by CBS 532 00:20:55,730 --> 00:20:57,650 and TOYOTA. 533 00:21:02,460 --> 00:21:05,890 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org