1
00:00:01,968 --> 00:00:03,871
Okay, Grover, this is it.
2
00:00:03,896 --> 00:00:06,014
If the kicker misses, we stay alive,
3
00:00:06,039 --> 00:00:07,675
and those losers go home.
4
00:00:08,072 --> 00:00:10,921
But... if he misses, won't he feel sad?
5
00:00:10,946 --> 00:00:12,638
Yeah, he'll be devastated.
6
00:00:13,690 --> 00:00:15,683
It's my favorite part of football.
7
00:00:16,330 --> 00:00:18,185
Okay, here comes the kick.
8
00:00:21,150 --> 00:00:22,518
Yes! No good!
9
00:00:22,543 --> 00:00:24,179
No good!
10
00:00:24,204 --> 00:00:25,663
Ha! That's so good!
11
00:00:25,688 --> 00:00:27,424
Look at his... look at his face.
12
00:00:27,449 --> 00:00:28,679
Oh, what happened?
13
00:00:28,704 --> 00:00:30,122
The kicker missed the field goal.
14
00:00:30,147 --> 00:00:32,243
Aw. He must feel so sad.
15
00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:35,085
Is Tina still at church?
16
00:00:35,110 --> 00:00:36,469
It's getting kind of late.
17
00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:38,623
Yeah, she's on the selection committee
18
00:00:38,648 --> 00:00:39,969
to choose a new pastor.
19
00:00:40,047 --> 00:00:41,916
She really likes this latest candidate.
20
00:00:41,941 --> 00:00:44,414
Ooh, is he the "fire
and brimstone" type,
21
00:00:44,439 --> 00:00:46,689
or more of a hip, guitar-playing dude
22
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,509
who's down with the G-O-D?
23
00:00:49,747 --> 00:00:51,475
I haven't met him.
24
00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:54,031
But Tina spending Sundays at church
25
00:00:54,056 --> 00:00:56,688
lets this dude be down with the NFL.
26
00:00:56,713 --> 00:00:59,115
And if that's not the Lord's work,
27
00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:00,828
I don't know what is.
28
00:01:03,157 --> 00:01:04,157
Oh.
29
00:01:04,182 --> 00:01:05,203
Hey, guys.
30
00:01:05,228 --> 00:01:06,930
This is Pastor Don.
31
00:01:07,161 --> 00:01:10,078
Pastor Don, this is my
lovely husband, Calvin,
32
00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:12,241
our neighbor Dave and his son Grover.
33
00:01:12,266 --> 00:01:13,273
- Hi. How are you?
- Hi.
34
00:01:13,298 --> 00:01:14,785
It's nice to meet you all.
35
00:01:15,006 --> 00:01:16,452
So, uh...
36
00:01:17,087 --> 00:01:19,623
what brings you by, Pastor,
37
00:01:19,926 --> 00:01:22,249
just before the late game starts?
38
00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:26,257
Well, I invited him to
join us for Sunday dinner.
39
00:01:26,282 --> 00:01:28,109
There.
40
00:01:28,134 --> 00:01:30,250
Whoa, whoa, Tina, what are you doing?
41
00:01:30,275 --> 00:01:33,102
I didn't invite the pastor
over here to watch football.
42
00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:35,195
I brought him here to
get to know us better.
43
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:38,256
Well, let me start by letting you know
44
00:01:38,281 --> 00:01:41,219
how much I love football.
45
00:01:42,213 --> 00:01:44,320
Calvin.
46
00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:46,719
Fine.
47
00:01:46,744 --> 00:01:48,234
Hey.
48
00:01:48,259 --> 00:01:49,969
That's the same face the kicker made.
49
00:01:55,525 --> 00:01:57,785
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
50
00:01:58,256 --> 00:02:00,033
So, Pastor Don, congratulations
51
00:02:00,058 --> 00:02:01,361
on your new job.
52
00:02:01,386 --> 00:02:02,494
Or should I say...
53
00:02:02,525 --> 00:02:03,916
"Job."
54
00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:07,838
So, uh,
55
00:02:07,863 --> 00:02:11,382
blasphemy's okay, but I
can't watch football?
56
00:02:11,955 --> 00:02:14,260
You know, the truth is, I-I
don't have the job yet.
57
00:02:14,285 --> 00:02:16,041
I'm still on a trial run.
58
00:02:16,096 --> 00:02:18,353
All right, everyone, dinner is served.
59
00:02:18,431 --> 00:02:21,813
All right. You know, if we
cut down on the chitchat,
60
00:02:21,838 --> 00:02:23,854
we can be done by halftime.
61
00:02:23,971 --> 00:02:27,460
Okay, so, Pastor, why don't you sit here
62
00:02:27,485 --> 00:02:29,693
at the head of the table? Right, Calvin?
63
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,737
Of course.
64
00:02:34,509 --> 00:02:36,931
Well, here, take my seat. I
left it nice and warm for you.
65
00:02:39,815 --> 00:02:41,775
Okay, so, Pastor Don,
66
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,668
would you do the honor of saying grace?
67
00:02:43,693 --> 00:02:45,464
- My pleasure.
- Ah.
68
00:02:47,275 --> 00:02:49,516
Father God, we ask that
you bless this meal,
69
00:02:49,541 --> 00:02:51,150
everyone here,
70
00:02:51,175 --> 00:02:52,736
and especially bless
71
00:02:52,761 --> 00:02:53,830
- Sister Tina,
- Mm-hmm.
72
00:02:53,854 --> 00:02:56,593
The one who made it.
73
00:02:59,423 --> 00:03:02,224
Can you throw in something about
my spelling test tomorrow?
74
00:03:04,222 --> 00:03:05,260
Grover.
75
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:06,854
No, it's okay. I like the boy's spirit.
76
00:03:06,879 --> 00:03:09,232
Hey, you all should join
us at church on Sunday.
77
00:03:09,257 --> 00:03:10,681
We'd love to!
78
00:03:10,838 --> 00:03:12,174
Ooh, I've always wanted to wear
79
00:03:12,199 --> 00:03:14,025
one of those big fancy church hats.
80
00:03:14,050 --> 00:03:16,531
And now I finally have
a big fancy chance.
81
00:03:18,104 --> 00:03:19,806
Ah, look at that, table neighbor.
82
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:22,202
The Lord just keeps
bringing us together.
83
00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:24,998
God is good.
84
00:03:26,517 --> 00:03:28,150
Yes, He is.
85
00:03:28,339 --> 00:03:30,985
No matter what Sister Rose
said about Him at Bible study.
86
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,716
Hey, what-what'd she say?
87
00:03:35,398 --> 00:03:37,164
Oh, it's a long story.
88
00:03:37,189 --> 00:03:38,525
You had to be there.
89
00:03:38,994 --> 00:03:41,236
But your comeback was hilarious.
90
00:03:42,824 --> 00:03:44,659
Wha... What was your comeback?
91
00:03:44,684 --> 00:03:46,644
Oh...
92
00:03:47,808 --> 00:03:49,947
Baby, you had to be there for that, too.
93
00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:52,547
Well, I'm glad I was.
94
00:03:52,572 --> 00:03:54,385
Sister Rose was so embarrassed,
95
00:03:54,410 --> 00:03:56,931
she pretended she was
speaking in tongues.
96
00:03:57,435 --> 00:03:59,065
That... that's funny.
97
00:03:59,090 --> 00:04:01,354
You know what it reminds me of,
98
00:04:01,379 --> 00:04:04,133
is last week in the supermarket
when the checkout guy said,
99
00:04:04,158 --> 00:04:05,297
"ketchup sauce."
100
00:04:05,322 --> 00:04:06,815
Remember that, Tina?
101
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,916
Uh-huh. That was funny, too.
102
00:04:10,511 --> 00:04:12,443
Man, I wish I was there.
103
00:04:12,468 --> 00:04:14,290
Ah, "ketchup sauce."
104
00:04:14,315 --> 00:04:16,096
That sounds hysterical.
105
00:04:17,493 --> 00:04:20,080
You know, you all have
such a lovely home.
106
00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,502
How would you feel about
hosting Bible study here
107
00:04:22,527 --> 00:04:23,908
this Thursday night?
108
00:04:23,933 --> 00:04:26,385
- We'd love to!
- We would?
109
00:04:28,245 --> 00:04:31,105
Yeah. I mean, yeah, we would. Yeah.
110
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:36,658
Oh-ho-ho!
111
00:04:36,683 --> 00:04:38,736
- Ha-ha!
- Damn it!
112
00:04:38,761 --> 00:04:41,086
It's like you knew I was
gonna do a fake punt.
113
00:04:41,111 --> 00:04:44,715
I did. You literally just
said, "Watch this fake punt."
114
00:04:45,755 --> 00:04:48,956
I was talking to my team.
Quit listening to my huddle!
115
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:52,427
Uh, what was that?
116
00:04:52,452 --> 00:04:54,388
That's my new upstairs neighbor.
117
00:04:55,709 --> 00:04:57,200
Man, that has got to be annoying.
118
00:04:57,225 --> 00:04:58,575
Yeah, that's not all.
119
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,396
Yesterday he parked his pickup truck
120
00:05:00,421 --> 00:05:02,856
so close to my car, I had to
climb out through the trunk.
121
00:05:03,262 --> 00:05:06,067
Oh, man. Wait, do you have
security cameras in your garage?
122
00:05:06,092 --> 00:05:07,583
Oh, you mean so I could
show the landlord?
123
00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:10,304
No. So I can watch you squeeze
your nerdy ass out of that trunk.
124
00:05:13,915 --> 00:05:15,050
Hey, Calvin.
125
00:05:15,075 --> 00:05:16,762
Oh, hey, Gemma.
126
00:05:17,035 --> 00:05:19,838
It was so nice getting to
know Pastor Don last night.
127
00:05:19,863 --> 00:05:21,699
He's very charming.
128
00:05:21,733 --> 00:05:23,240
Yeah, he's fine.
129
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:27,687
Uh-oh. That's the same
"fine" Dave's mom gave me
130
00:05:27,712 --> 00:05:30,248
when I asked her how I
looked in my wedding dress.
131
00:05:30,965 --> 00:05:33,936
You know, I just don't like
how chummy he is with Tina.
132
00:05:34,265 --> 00:05:36,630
Did you see him hold her hand at dinner?
133
00:05:36,767 --> 00:05:38,840
Calvin, we were saying grace.
134
00:05:39,591 --> 00:05:41,786
Well, did you see what
he did after dinner?
135
00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:44,595
What kind of pastor drinks scotch?
136
00:05:44,950 --> 00:05:46,910
You offered it to him.
137
00:05:47,261 --> 00:05:49,893
As a test... which he failed.
138
00:05:51,590 --> 00:05:52,910
I don't know,
139
00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:54,661
this guy's up to no good.
140
00:05:54,858 --> 00:05:57,061
Well, to be honest, I know how you feel.
141
00:05:57,086 --> 00:05:58,825
- You do?
- Yeah.
142
00:05:58,850 --> 00:06:01,695
Women are always throwing
themselves at Dave.
143
00:06:03,275 --> 00:06:06,158
Did you date another
Dave before this one?
144
00:06:07,527 --> 00:06:10,663
I'm just saying, if your gut's
telling you something, trust it.
145
00:06:10,994 --> 00:06:12,208
Yeah, you're right.
146
00:06:12,356 --> 00:06:14,265
I need to keep an eye on him.
147
00:06:14,702 --> 00:06:17,138
Hmm. It's not easy, but
it's the price we pay
148
00:06:17,163 --> 00:06:19,714
for falling in love with hotties.
149
00:06:22,070 --> 00:06:23,388
All right.
150
00:06:23,413 --> 00:06:26,262
Now, if I can trap him
into taking my bishop,
151
00:06:26,425 --> 00:06:28,036
I can take his queen.
152
00:06:28,061 --> 00:06:30,892
Ha! Now you're talking to yourself.
153
00:06:31,843 --> 00:06:33,302
Actually, I was talking to you.
154
00:06:33,327 --> 00:06:35,630
Ha. Checkmate.
155
00:06:37,833 --> 00:06:39,302
Yo, seriously,
156
00:06:39,327 --> 00:06:41,059
you haven't taken care
of this cowboy yet?
157
00:06:41,099 --> 00:06:43,167
I sure did. I confronted the guy
158
00:06:43,192 --> 00:06:44,192
and told him what's what.
159
00:06:44,224 --> 00:06:46,036
- Oh, you did?
- Yes.
160
00:06:46,061 --> 00:06:48,715
Via a friendly note I
slid under his door.
161
00:06:49,074 --> 00:06:50,371
But I think
162
00:06:50,396 --> 00:06:53,239
the Starbucks gift card
sent quite a message.
163
00:06:53,598 --> 00:06:56,185
Marty, you have backed down
from stuff your whole life.
164
00:06:56,210 --> 00:06:58,778
Remember your first day at USC
when one of your professors
165
00:06:58,803 --> 00:07:00,963
called you Morty, and you
never corrected him?
166
00:07:01,114 --> 00:07:02,505
It wasn't that big a deal.
167
00:07:02,530 --> 00:07:04,551
Your diploma says Morton Butler!
168
00:07:13,050 --> 00:07:14,753
Okay, Marty, I could go upstairs
169
00:07:14,778 --> 00:07:16,347
and take care of this
for your sorry ass.
170
00:07:16,372 --> 00:07:17,966
Yes, that'd be great.
171
00:07:19,181 --> 00:07:20,249
Come on, little bro,
172
00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:22,411
you can't keep running from
your problems forever.
173
00:07:22,624 --> 00:07:25,661
Think about it... what
would Yoda tell you to do?
174
00:07:25,807 --> 00:07:28,020
I guess he'd say...
175
00:07:28,311 --> 00:07:30,827
Confront him, you should.
176
00:07:31,528 --> 00:07:32,917
Exactly.
177
00:07:32,942 --> 00:07:34,637
Then why are you still standing here?
178
00:07:34,859 --> 00:07:37,000
Because stalling, I am.
179
00:07:41,226 --> 00:07:42,888
All right, everyone,
let's dig in and see
180
00:07:42,913 --> 00:07:45,364
what the Lord has to say
about helping those in need.
181
00:07:45,389 --> 00:07:47,012
But first, what I need is another piece
182
00:07:47,037 --> 00:07:49,060
of Sister Tina's
delicious peach cobbler.
183
00:07:49,715 --> 00:07:52,128
Aw. Thank you, Pastor.
184
00:07:52,153 --> 00:07:53,926
Ask and you shall receive.
185
00:07:53,951 --> 00:07:56,333
Oh, thank you.
186
00:07:56,358 --> 00:07:58,730
Hey, everybody. Sorry I'm late.
187
00:07:58,755 --> 00:08:00,457
Oh, baby, what are you doing here?
188
00:08:00,482 --> 00:08:02,324
I thought you were playing
poker with the guys.
189
00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:03,914
I changed my mind.
190
00:08:04,034 --> 00:08:06,325
Tonight I'm betting it all on God.
191
00:08:06,350 --> 00:08:08,516
Well, Brother Calvin,
192
00:08:08,541 --> 00:08:10,070
you came to the right place.
193
00:08:10,611 --> 00:08:13,628
And you're sitting in the wrong one.
Okay, come on.
194
00:08:13,653 --> 00:08:15,570
Oh. Sorry.
195
00:08:16,165 --> 00:08:19,333
Now, to quote Jesus after
he rose from the dead:
196
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:21,586
"What'd I miss?"
197
00:08:29,115 --> 00:08:31,435
I want to thank you both so
much for hosting tonight.
198
00:08:31,450 --> 00:08:32,490
No. Thank you.
199
00:08:32,515 --> 00:08:34,857
- Your words were so inspiring.
- Oh, thank you.
200
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:37,226
Good stuff, now. All right.
201
00:08:38,613 --> 00:08:40,214
Thank you, Brother Calvin.
202
00:08:40,239 --> 00:08:41,965
Sister Tina, I'll see
you Sunday morning.
203
00:08:41,990 --> 00:08:43,425
Ooh, she'll be there.
204
00:08:43,473 --> 00:08:46,737
My wife... 30 years, two kids!
205
00:08:47,107 --> 00:08:48,342
Hmm.
206
00:08:48,367 --> 00:08:50,448
We might even have another one!
207
00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,192
Calvin, what is wrong with you?
208
00:08:54,217 --> 00:08:57,329
You were acting so weird
during Bible study.
209
00:08:57,448 --> 00:08:58,664
Weird how?
210
00:08:59,231 --> 00:09:02,335
Well, first of all, you
were at Bible study.
211
00:09:03,493 --> 00:09:05,171
All right, you want to know the truth?
212
00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:07,506
I don't like this Pastor Don guy.
213
00:09:07,771 --> 00:09:10,238
You know, I think he
got his eyes on you.
214
00:09:10,263 --> 00:09:12,289
Oh, please, Calvin.
215
00:09:12,314 --> 00:09:13,653
He's just trying to butter me up
216
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,431
because I'm on the selection committee.
217
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:18,018
Nah, Tina. It's more than that.
218
00:09:18,145 --> 00:09:20,185
This guy's a snake in our garden,
219
00:09:20,210 --> 00:09:23,063
and he's trying to take
a bite of your apple.
220
00:09:24,354 --> 00:09:26,996
You said that about our dry cleaner,
221
00:09:27,021 --> 00:09:28,890
the guy at the gas station,
222
00:09:28,915 --> 00:09:30,530
and our dentist.
223
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:34,825
Well, he never told me I
had a beautiful smile.
224
00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:38,871
You know, Calvin, I don't have
time for this, all right?
225
00:09:38,896 --> 00:09:41,790
And for your information,
our dentist is gay.
226
00:09:42,824 --> 00:09:45,544
His husband thinks you
have a beautiful smile.
227
00:09:47,225 --> 00:09:49,695
You got this, okay? You are the man,
228
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,217
and you are about to
shut this chump down.
229
00:09:53,935 --> 00:09:56,190
Hello?
230
00:09:59,293 --> 00:10:00,824
Hello.
231
00:10:01,112 --> 00:10:03,146
Oh. Uh...
232
00:10:04,083 --> 00:10:05,668
H-Hi. Hi.
233
00:10:05,892 --> 00:10:07,121
I-I-I'm...
234
00:10:07,146 --> 00:10:08,414
I'm-I'm Morton. I mean Morty.
235
00:10:08,439 --> 00:10:10,742
I-I mean, I am, um,
236
00:10:10,767 --> 00:10:13,012
Marty, your downstairs neighbor.
237
00:10:13,037 --> 00:10:14,386
I'm Keira.
238
00:10:14,535 --> 00:10:15,585
Oh.
239
00:10:15,610 --> 00:10:17,551
You're the guy who left
me that gift card.
240
00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:19,254
That was so thoughtful.
241
00:10:19,279 --> 00:10:21,059
Oh, it's no big deal.
You know, I would do it
242
00:10:21,084 --> 00:10:22,403
for anyone who was on top of me.
243
00:10:22,428 --> 00:10:23,551
I mean, uh,
244
00:10:23,576 --> 00:10:25,746
I mean, under-underneath you. I mean...
245
00:10:25,771 --> 00:10:27,740
Ah... welcome to the building.
246
00:10:29,433 --> 00:10:30,543
Thanks.
247
00:10:30,568 --> 00:10:31,988
Hey, uh, actually,
248
00:10:32,013 --> 00:10:33,613
if it's not too weird, would you mind
249
00:10:33,638 --> 00:10:34,879
helping me with something?
250
00:10:34,904 --> 00:10:36,039
What? Are you kidding?
251
00:10:36,064 --> 00:10:37,348
If it's weird, I'm into it.
252
00:10:37,373 --> 00:10:39,043
I mean, uh,
253
00:10:39,068 --> 00:10:42,496
uh, I would be... I'd be happy to help.
254
00:10:43,222 --> 00:10:45,707
I've been trying to move
furniture by myself.
255
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,324
Sorry if I was a little loud.
256
00:10:47,349 --> 00:10:49,136
Oh, not at all. In
fact, it was so quiet,
257
00:10:49,161 --> 00:10:51,278
I thought maybe a mouse had moved in.
258
00:10:51,431 --> 00:10:53,168
Are you calling me short?
259
00:10:53,299 --> 00:10:55,676
What? No! No, I didn't
even notice your body.
260
00:10:55,701 --> 00:10:57,660
Well, I mean, I noticed your body.
261
00:10:59,810 --> 00:11:01,402
So, you needed some help with something?
262
00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:02,504
Yeah.
263
00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:04,598
Can you help me slide this
couch against the wall?
264
00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:06,004
- It's too heavy to lift.
- Oh...
265
00:11:06,029 --> 00:11:07,550
Maybe it's too heavy for you, but...
266
00:11:07,575 --> 00:11:08,575
Also for me.
267
00:11:13,973 --> 00:11:16,231
Oh! I'm coming, baby bro, I'm coming!
268
00:11:16,256 --> 00:11:18,220
But I'm coming strapped!
269
00:11:20,599 --> 00:11:23,637
♪ I'm gonna lay down my burden ♪
270
00:11:23,662 --> 00:11:25,764
♪ Down by the riverside... ♪
271
00:11:25,798 --> 00:11:27,090
What are you doing?
272
00:11:27,115 --> 00:11:28,941
I'm prepping for church
with Calvin and Tina.
273
00:11:28,966 --> 00:11:31,053
♪ Down by the riverside... ♪
274
00:11:31,078 --> 00:11:32,379
Why?
275
00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:34,828
Well, because it's gonna be different
276
00:11:34,853 --> 00:11:36,481
from the church that we go to,
277
00:11:36,506 --> 00:11:37,980
and I want to be respectful.
278
00:11:38,225 --> 00:11:40,887
Which is why I watched a
bunch of YouTube videos,
279
00:11:40,912 --> 00:11:43,788
Sister Act, and eight Madea movies.
280
00:11:45,391 --> 00:11:46,793
Whoa!
281
00:11:47,009 --> 00:11:50,480
Are you gonna do backflips
down the aisle like that nun?
282
00:11:52,113 --> 00:11:54,257
Grover, don't be silly.
283
00:11:54,282 --> 00:11:56,863
She's 80. I'm gonna get
way more air than her.
284
00:12:01,899 --> 00:12:03,200
Oh, hey, Calvin.
285
00:12:03,225 --> 00:12:05,043
Hey. Dave, is Gemma here?
286
00:12:05,068 --> 00:12:07,215
I need her to talk some sense into Tina.
287
00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:09,800
Actually, she's at a PTA meeting.
What's going on?
288
00:12:10,165 --> 00:12:13,738
I'm pretty sure that Pastor
Don is making moves on Tina.
289
00:12:13,763 --> 00:12:14,879
What?
290
00:12:15,010 --> 00:12:16,418
Did something happen?
291
00:12:16,615 --> 00:12:17,840
I mean, not exactly,
292
00:12:17,865 --> 00:12:22,284
but he's made excuses to see
her every night this week.
293
00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:25,121
"Let's go visit the elderly."
294
00:12:26,859 --> 00:12:30,001
"Oh, come help me feed the homeless."
295
00:12:31,218 --> 00:12:33,787
I'm telling you, he's a bad dude.
296
00:12:34,697 --> 00:12:36,168
Okay.
297
00:12:36,193 --> 00:12:40,130
Uh, or is it possible what
you're actually upset about
298
00:12:40,155 --> 00:12:42,258
is that Pastor Don is
connecting with Tina
299
00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:43,793
in a way that you're not?
300
00:12:43,818 --> 00:12:45,488
That's crazy.
301
00:12:45,513 --> 00:12:49,644
Is it? Look, Tina's church life
is obviously important to her,
302
00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:52,480
and maybe Pastor Don
is just filling a void
303
00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:54,275
that you choose not to.
304
00:12:55,602 --> 00:12:56,870
I don't know.
305
00:12:57,176 --> 00:12:58,513
Maybe.
306
00:12:59,197 --> 00:13:00,632
Remember, Calvin.
307
00:13:00,657 --> 00:13:03,366
"Don't judge or you will be judged."
308
00:13:04,711 --> 00:13:06,020
Wow, Dave.
309
00:13:06,045 --> 00:13:07,982
I didn't know you knew
scripture so well.
310
00:13:08,199 --> 00:13:11,332
Actually, I-I got that
from Whoopi Goldberg.
311
00:13:14,362 --> 00:13:15,856
I'm so sorry.
312
00:13:15,881 --> 00:13:17,832
Is your foot okay? Oh, it's fine.
313
00:13:17,857 --> 00:13:19,559
Pinky toes are totally cosmetic.
314
00:13:22,117 --> 00:13:24,679
Get your damn hands off
my brother, you...
315
00:13:26,817 --> 00:13:29,246
surprisingly tiny lady.
316
00:13:29,793 --> 00:13:31,348
Uh, Keira, this is
317
00:13:31,373 --> 00:13:34,019
my brother, Malcolm.
Malcolm, this is Keira.
318
00:13:34,044 --> 00:13:35,636
Hey. Oh,
319
00:13:35,661 --> 00:13:36,715
so you're the one who's...
320
00:13:36,740 --> 00:13:39,529
Drives the really cool truck
I've been telling you about.
321
00:13:41,032 --> 00:13:42,465
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
322
00:13:42,490 --> 00:13:43,840
What's with the rocket?
323
00:13:43,912 --> 00:13:45,992
Oh. Um, it's a, uh...
324
00:13:46,251 --> 00:13:48,887
a housewarming gift.
325
00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:50,395
Right, Marty?
326
00:13:50,420 --> 00:13:51,621
Uh, yep.
327
00:13:51,646 --> 00:13:55,019
Yep. Uh, signed by Buzz
Aldrin and everything.
328
00:13:55,044 --> 00:13:57,420
Well, thank you.
329
00:13:58,086 --> 00:14:01,056
Hey, you guys are my first houseguests.
330
00:14:01,081 --> 00:14:03,582
- Let me get some beers to celebrate.
- Okay.
331
00:14:06,184 --> 00:14:07,816
She is cute.
332
00:14:07,841 --> 00:14:08,979
Yeah, I know.
333
00:14:09,004 --> 00:14:10,535
Thank you for making me come up here.
334
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:12,738
Yeah, you see what happens when
you stand up for yourself?
335
00:14:12,771 --> 00:14:15,809
Yeah, man. In fact, I'm gonna do it now.
336
00:14:15,834 --> 00:14:17,524
Get the hell out of here.
337
00:14:20,357 --> 00:14:25,199
♪ I need thee ♪
338
00:14:26,774 --> 00:14:32,546
♪ Every hour... ♪
339
00:14:33,241 --> 00:14:35,246
All right, buddy. Now,
remember, we're guests here,
340
00:14:35,271 --> 00:14:39,714
so let's be respectful and
just try to blend in.
341
00:14:46,411 --> 00:14:48,627
Oh, my God. Look at all these hats.
342
00:14:48,652 --> 00:14:51,017
I knew I shouldn't have
gotten the small one.
343
00:14:52,863 --> 00:14:54,728
Okay, I'm warning you, Calvin.
344
00:14:54,753 --> 00:14:57,072
You better not embarrass
me in front of Pastor Don.
345
00:14:58,122 --> 00:15:00,567
Don't worry, I won't.
346
00:15:01,412 --> 00:15:03,529
I think maybe I was...
347
00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:05,089
wrong about him.
348
00:15:05,351 --> 00:15:08,491
Wait, did you just admit to being wrong?
349
00:15:08,935 --> 00:15:11,283
Okay, God, a deal's a deal.
I'm-a stop cursing.
350
00:15:13,589 --> 00:15:14,955
Hey, uh,
351
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:16,615
I'm-a catch up with you in a second.
352
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,502
- Okay, baby.
- Brother Calvin, good to see you.
353
00:15:19,798 --> 00:15:22,088
Are the Rams not playing today?
354
00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:26,213
Well, I decided that
this was more important.
355
00:15:26,472 --> 00:15:28,119
Plus, it's a night game.
356
00:15:28,910 --> 00:15:30,166
Listen,
357
00:15:30,191 --> 00:15:32,432
I... I just wanted to apologize
358
00:15:32,457 --> 00:15:34,426
about my behavior at Bible study.
359
00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:38,447
The truth is is that I
had this crazy idea
360
00:15:38,472 --> 00:15:41,260
that you was making moves on my wife.
361
00:15:41,285 --> 00:15:42,520
You did?
362
00:15:42,678 --> 00:15:44,822
Yeah, you know how us guys can be.
363
00:15:44,847 --> 00:15:47,393
Yeah. Well, you have
nothing to apologize for.
364
00:15:47,418 --> 00:15:49,020
I completely understand.
365
00:15:49,061 --> 00:15:50,189
Thanks, Pastor.
366
00:15:50,214 --> 00:15:53,328
After all, Sister Tina's
a very attractive woman.
367
00:15:57,215 --> 00:15:58,667
Excuse me?
368
00:15:58,692 --> 00:16:00,251
As scripture says,
369
00:16:00,317 --> 00:16:03,464
"He who finds a good wife
finds a good thing."
370
00:16:03,489 --> 00:16:05,841
Obviously, Tina's a good wife,
371
00:16:06,325 --> 00:16:09,552
but I'm more interested in the bad ones.
372
00:16:16,359 --> 00:16:18,632
You heard that, right?
373
00:16:24,454 --> 00:16:27,453
♪ Bless ♪
374
00:16:27,478 --> 00:16:29,225
♪ Me now ♪
375
00:16:29,710 --> 00:16:34,897
♪ My savior... ♪
376
00:16:37,649 --> 00:16:39,052
Calvin.
377
00:16:39,725 --> 00:16:41,382
What is wrong with you?
378
00:16:41,407 --> 00:16:42,577
I'm talking to God.
379
00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:43,904
I got a complaint about one
380
00:16:43,929 --> 00:16:46,257
of his employees.
381
00:16:46,969 --> 00:16:49,677
♪ To ♪
382
00:16:49,702 --> 00:16:54,702
♪ Thee. ♪
383
00:16:55,032 --> 00:16:56,462
Good morning, church.
384
00:16:56,487 --> 00:16:58,790
- Morning.
- Is it?
385
00:17:00,482 --> 00:17:03,866
Today's message comes from
the Book of Revelations.
386
00:17:03,891 --> 00:17:05,601
You got that right.
387
00:17:06,455 --> 00:17:10,906
Now, everyone in here knows
that God sees everything.
388
00:17:10,931 --> 00:17:13,492
- Mm-hmm. Amen.
- I see your ass.
389
00:17:16,161 --> 00:17:19,873
Which is why we must stay
vigilant against temptation.
390
00:17:19,898 --> 00:17:21,100
That's right.
391
00:17:21,125 --> 00:17:24,812
Walk the righteous path and cast out
392
00:17:24,837 --> 00:17:26,375
those who lead us astray.
393
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:27,945
No way. I heard enough.
394
00:17:27,970 --> 00:17:29,884
I need to testify.
395
00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:32,762
Let Him use you, Calvin!
396
00:17:36,912 --> 00:17:39,483
Brother Calvin, I
appreciate your enthusiasm,
397
00:17:39,508 --> 00:17:42,265
but we normally don't testify
until the end of the service.
398
00:17:42,290 --> 00:17:44,577
Yeah, well, today is different,
399
00:17:45,001 --> 00:17:47,852
'cause there is a devil among us.
400
00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:51,173
Thank you, Brother Calvin.
401
00:17:51,198 --> 00:17:53,483
We'll look into that. Now, if
you open your Bibles to...
402
00:17:53,508 --> 00:17:56,242
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, I'm not done.
403
00:17:56,865 --> 00:17:59,968
We are in the presence
of a false prophet.
404
00:18:00,577 --> 00:18:03,417
A wolf in sheep's clothing.
405
00:18:03,771 --> 00:18:07,588
A man who covets other men's wives.
406
00:18:07,613 --> 00:18:09,671
And I know that commandment is important
407
00:18:09,696 --> 00:18:11,801
'cause it made the top ten list.
408
00:18:14,032 --> 00:18:16,389
And that man's name...
409
00:18:20,509 --> 00:18:22,044
is Pastor Don.
410
00:18:23,414 --> 00:18:26,101
Let your light shine, Calvin!
411
00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:30,693
Did you watch Sister Act again?
412
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:34,825
If loving Whoopi is wrong,
I don't want to be right.
413
00:18:35,843 --> 00:18:37,334
Forgive Brother Calvin.
414
00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:39,171
He knows not what he says.
415
00:18:39,421 --> 00:18:41,132
I'm a man of deep faith
416
00:18:41,157 --> 00:18:44,230
who respects the sanctity of marriage.
I would never...
417
00:18:44,255 --> 00:18:45,570
Hold up!
418
00:18:45,595 --> 00:18:47,843
You got other women on the side?
419
00:18:49,674 --> 00:18:53,187
You told me I was the only
woman you were checking for.
420
00:18:54,316 --> 00:18:57,136
Oh, so you just laying
hands on everybody?
421
00:18:57,983 --> 00:18:59,805
Uh...
422
00:19:00,398 --> 00:19:02,562
Unless you ready to meet the Lord,
423
00:19:02,587 --> 00:19:04,585
I suggest you get out of here right now.
424
00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:06,492
Because, uh, this ain't the first fight
425
00:19:06,517 --> 00:19:08,335
Wanda's had at church.
426
00:19:09,140 --> 00:19:11,194
I-I'm-a... I'm-a...
427
00:19:11,219 --> 00:19:12,952
Oh-ho.
428
00:19:12,977 --> 00:19:14,738
Uh-oh!
429
00:19:15,026 --> 00:19:17,394
Only God can save him now.
430
00:19:17,419 --> 00:19:19,155
Amen.
431
00:19:23,804 --> 00:19:25,406
♪ Victory is mine ♪
432
00:19:25,431 --> 00:19:28,341
♪ Victory is mine ♪
433
00:19:28,366 --> 00:19:32,427
♪ Victory today is mine ♪
434
00:19:32,452 --> 00:19:34,271
♪ I told Satan... ♪
435
00:19:34,296 --> 00:19:36,257
- This church is awesome.
- I know.
436
00:19:36,282 --> 00:19:38,388
As soon as we get home,
I'm going hat shopping.
437
00:19:38,517 --> 00:19:40,031
And this time,
438
00:19:40,056 --> 00:19:42,349
I'm going big.
439
00:19:43,336 --> 00:19:45,866
Speaking of going big,
give me some room.
440
00:19:45,891 --> 00:19:47,605
It's backflipping time.
441
00:19:47,630 --> 00:19:49,773
Uh... Oh.
442
00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:52,014
Babe, you doing okay?
443
00:19:52,187 --> 00:19:53,622
Are you kidding?
444
00:19:53,647 --> 00:19:54,952
Look at all of these good people
445
00:19:54,977 --> 00:19:56,708
rejoicing in the Lord, Calvin.
446
00:19:56,733 --> 00:19:58,484
That is church.
447
00:19:58,509 --> 00:20:01,117
Amen to that.
448
00:20:01,142 --> 00:20:03,358
Hey, you got to admit, though.
449
00:20:03,383 --> 00:20:06,226
I was the only one that knew
that Pastor Don was a snake.
450
00:20:06,251 --> 00:20:08,420
Baby, you sure were.
451
00:20:08,445 --> 00:20:10,656
Which is why you're the newest member
452
00:20:10,681 --> 00:20:12,132
of our pastor selection committee.
453
00:20:12,157 --> 00:20:13,732
- Yeah.
- Huh?
454
00:20:13,757 --> 00:20:17,050
We meet on, uh, Sundays,
Mondays and Thursdays.
455
00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:21,155
Those are all my football days.
456
00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:22,913
Take it up with God.
457
00:20:23,157 --> 00:20:24,993
♪ Victory ♪
458
00:20:25,018 --> 00:20:26,601
♪ Today is mine ♪
459
00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:31,773
Oh! Oh!
460
00:20:34,053 --> 00:20:37,446
It's okay. I'm all... I'm all right.
461
00:20:37,629 --> 00:20:39,233
The drums broke my fall.
462
00:20:41,238 --> 00:20:42,907
♪ Victory is mine ♪
463
00:20:42,932 --> 00:20:45,796
- ♪ Victory is mine ♪
- ♪ Victory ♪
464
00:20:45,821 --> 00:20:48,343
♪ Victory today is mine. ♪
465
00:20:48,483 --> 00:20:53,093
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -