1
00:00:08,130 --> 00:00:10,611
What?

2
00:00:11,131 --> 00:00:13,395
Baby, are you watching Real Housewives?

3
00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:17,821
I was gonna change the
channel, but then somebody

4
00:00:17,846 --> 00:00:20,632
threw a glass of wine and
somebody flipped a table

5
00:00:20,657 --> 00:00:23,133
and two hours later, I'm Team Teresa.

6
00:00:23,552 --> 00:00:25,423
Well, I'm Team Brandi.

7
00:00:25,448 --> 00:00:28,146
She could get hit by a table
and keep on drinking.

8
00:00:30,166 --> 00:00:31,297
Where's Malcolm?

9
00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:33,063
Oh, he's on a date with Sofia.

10
00:00:33,485 --> 00:00:34,876
Again?

11
00:00:34,963 --> 00:00:36,661
Wow, this is getting serious.

12
00:00:36,686 --> 00:00:38,626
I can't believe I still
haven't met that girl.

13
00:00:40,586 --> 00:00:42,545
And I can't believe
Teresa thinks she can

14
00:00:42,570 --> 00:00:44,136
flip over that giant...

15
00:00:44,390 --> 00:00:46,032
Oh, no, she did it.

16
00:00:48,648 --> 00:00:50,040
Oh, hey, guys.

17
00:00:50,065 --> 00:00:51,588
Tina, did we order two white people?

18
00:00:53,391 --> 00:00:55,719
Uh, no, uh, I did.

19
00:00:55,744 --> 00:00:57,508
But don't worry, I'll take 'em to go.

20
00:00:58,101 --> 00:00:59,727
So what's going on?

21
00:00:59,752 --> 00:01:01,486
Marty invited us to trivia night

22
00:01:01,511 --> 00:01:03,295
down at Ernie's Hot Spot.

23
00:01:03,470 --> 00:01:06,343
These Pasadena peeps can't wait to play.

24
00:01:07,194 --> 00:01:09,875
Who are the Johnsons?

25
00:01:10,166 --> 00:01:11,733
Let me grab my jacket and we'll go.

26
00:01:11,758 --> 00:01:13,654
Well, how about you guys?
You want to join us?

27
00:01:13,679 --> 00:01:15,790
Uh, thanks, but I'm gonna stay in.

28
00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:17,852
I already took my bra off.

29
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:22,194
- Calvin, you want to come?
- Are you kidding me?

30
00:01:22,219 --> 00:01:24,233
The last thing I want
to do is sit around

31
00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:25,546
with a bunch of eggheads

32
00:01:25,571 --> 00:01:28,374
racing to answer "what's the
biggest lake in Africa?"

33
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:30,108
Lake Victoria.

34
00:01:31,150 --> 00:01:33,195
Trivia isn't exactly my dad's thing.

35
00:01:33,254 --> 00:01:35,507
The only facts he knows are
the ones that he makes up.

36
00:01:35,918 --> 00:01:38,491
And a lot of the times
he's wrong about those.

37
00:01:38,877 --> 00:01:42,507
Ho, ho. So y'all think
y'all smarter than me?

38
00:01:42,676 --> 00:01:45,405
Ha. Smart enough not to answer
that question out loud.

39
00:01:46,055 --> 00:01:48,187
Well, you don't know what I know.

40
00:01:48,347 --> 00:01:51,108
I know stuff that I don't
know that I know I know.

41
00:01:51,599 --> 00:01:52,904
Well, so you're in?

42
00:01:52,929 --> 00:01:54,191
Hell yeah I'm in.

43
00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:56,999
And, uh, for your information, Tina,

44
00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:58,857
penguins can fly.

45
00:01:59,127 --> 00:02:01,172
They just cool where they at.

46
00:02:08,171 --> 00:02:12,397
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -

47
00:02:12,788 --> 00:02:15,921
Come on, Dad, think.
We need your answer.

48
00:02:15,946 --> 00:02:17,554
Okay, hold on, hold on, now.

49
00:02:17,701 --> 00:02:19,944
You want to get this right, don't you?

50
00:02:22,301 --> 00:02:25,000
I'm gonna order the buffalo wings.

51
00:02:28,464 --> 00:02:29,710
I'm guessing this is a slightly

52
00:02:29,735 --> 00:02:31,694
different crowd than your dart night.

53
00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:34,069
Sure is. A lot younger.

54
00:02:34,134 --> 00:02:35,788
More man buns.

55
00:02:36,241 --> 00:02:38,483
And I heard some clown
order a gin and juice

56
00:02:38,508 --> 00:02:40,062
with no gin.

57
00:02:41,043 --> 00:02:44,312
Where is my juice? I ordered
it ten minutes ago.

58
00:02:45,230 --> 00:02:48,858
All right! Welcome to trivia
night at Ernie's Hot Spot,

59
00:02:48,883 --> 00:02:50,972
sponsored by Carla's Fluff and Fold.

60
00:02:51,060 --> 00:02:53,812
Tell her I sent you and
get one free fluff.

61
00:02:54,820 --> 00:02:57,083
Okay, y'all know how it works.

62
00:02:57,268 --> 00:02:59,574
I spin the wheel and read the questions,

63
00:02:59,696 --> 00:03:03,187
you write down the answers and
order at least three drinks.

64
00:03:04,558 --> 00:03:08,083
"Astronomy." "Shakespeare."
"Foreign Films."

65
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:10,233
Shouldn't those all
be under one category

66
00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:11,694
called "Who Cares?"

67
00:03:12,699 --> 00:03:14,745
Dad, I like all those things.

68
00:03:14,874 --> 00:03:16,796
I know. Who cares?

69
00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:18,515
Okay,

70
00:03:18,540 --> 00:03:20,542
first category is...

71
00:03:23,679 --> 00:03:25,768
Ooh, "World Flags."

72
00:03:25,811 --> 00:03:27,073
Okay, here we go.

73
00:03:27,445 --> 00:03:29,530
What is the only country

74
00:03:29,555 --> 00:03:32,147
whose flag has five sides?

75
00:03:32,172 --> 00:03:34,921
I got this one.

76
00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:36,870
Stop sign.

77
00:03:39,096 --> 00:03:41,999
Uh, Dad, that's an octagon.

78
00:03:42,162 --> 00:03:45,140
I don't care what kind
of government it is.

79
00:03:46,689 --> 00:03:48,256
Okay, I know this one.

80
00:03:48,281 --> 00:03:49,460
It's on the tip of my tongue.

81
00:03:49,485 --> 00:03:51,483
I know it definitely starts with an "L".

82
00:03:51,508 --> 00:03:53,460
It's Nepal. Or ends with an "L".

83
00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:57,793
Don't worry, sweetie, you
were about to get it.

84
00:03:57,930 --> 00:03:59,640
You weren't.

85
00:04:00,070 --> 00:04:02,028
Okay, everybody, boards up.

86
00:04:02,502 --> 00:04:03,938
The correct answer

87
00:04:03,963 --> 00:04:05,992
- is Nepal.
- Yes!

88
00:04:06,017 --> 00:04:07,374
And for everybody who got that right,

89
00:04:07,399 --> 00:04:11,358
hike your way to the bar and
buy yourself a Fuzzy Nepal.

90
00:04:12,271 --> 00:04:14,304
Okay, good warm-up. Just got to focus.

91
00:04:14,329 --> 00:04:15,499
Which would be so much easier

92
00:04:15,524 --> 00:04:17,093
if I had my juice!

93
00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:18,683
Okay...

94
00:04:21,878 --> 00:04:22,923
Ooh!

95
00:04:22,948 --> 00:04:24,515
- Chemistry.
- Yes!

96
00:04:24,849 --> 00:04:28,187
Pb is the chemical symbol

97
00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:30,312
for what common element?

98
00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:31,947
Ah, I know this one.

99
00:04:32,434 --> 00:04:34,218
Plubonium.

100
00:04:34,449 --> 00:04:35,827
Final answer.

101
00:04:36,123 --> 00:04:37,671
Seriously, Dad? That's not even a...

102
00:04:37,696 --> 00:04:39,288
I said final answer.

103
00:04:39,444 --> 00:04:42,116
Gu-Guys, this is all me.
Just give me a second.

104
00:04:42,178 --> 00:04:44,390
Pb. Pb.

105
00:04:44,670 --> 00:04:47,020
PB and J. Aw, great.

106
00:04:47,045 --> 00:04:49,425
Now I'm hungry, too.

107
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:51,680
It's lead.

108
00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:53,226
Boards up.

109
00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:56,460
The correct answer is lead.

110
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,085
- Yeah.
- Nice, Marty.

111
00:04:58,110 --> 00:04:59,921
- All right. You and me got this.
- Yeah.

112
00:05:00,109 --> 00:05:01,726
Hey, we're here, too.

113
00:05:01,751 --> 00:05:04,351
Yeah, I know, but I
still think we can win.

114
00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:09,895
Hey, Ma.

115
00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:12,554
Hey. Did you have a
good time with Sofia?

116
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:14,538
Yes, I did. It was great.

117
00:05:14,663 --> 00:05:17,491
Oh. How long have you two
been seeing each other?

118
00:05:17,516 --> 00:05:19,512
Uh, I don't know. Maybe like two...

119
00:05:19,537 --> 00:05:22,107
73 days!

120
00:05:25,139 --> 00:05:27,679
When am I gonna finally meet this girl?

121
00:05:27,704 --> 00:05:29,771
Look, I don't know, Ma. Uh, soon, okay?

122
00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:30,921
Well, what's the problem?

123
00:05:30,946 --> 00:05:33,569
You act like you're afraid
to introduce her to me.

124
00:05:33,730 --> 00:05:35,950
I'm sorry if I wasn't clear on that, Ma.

125
00:05:36,219 --> 00:05:37,699
I am terrified.

126
00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:39,390
Oh, uh...

127
00:05:39,415 --> 00:05:40,694
Malcolm, why?

128
00:05:40,719 --> 00:05:43,015
Because every time I bring a girl home,

129
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,351
you grill her like she
knows who shot Tupac.

130
00:05:45,675 --> 00:05:47,107
Oh, please.

131
00:05:47,132 --> 00:05:48,780
All moms ask questions.

132
00:05:48,959 --> 00:05:51,397
Oh, really? Do all moms open with,

133
00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:53,183
"Hey, I'm Tina. Do you want

134
00:05:53,208 --> 00:05:55,123
and are you able to have kids?"

135
00:05:56,643 --> 00:05:59,820
Well, what can I say?
I'm a people person.

136
00:06:00,551 --> 00:06:03,075
I want her to make me more people.

137
00:06:07,294 --> 00:06:08,569
Hey, Dave.

138
00:06:09,182 --> 00:06:10,601
Hey, Calvin.

139
00:06:11,994 --> 00:06:14,616
Congrats on the, uh, big
trivia win last night.

140
00:06:14,771 --> 00:06:16,929
Yeah. You too.

141
00:06:18,927 --> 00:06:20,522
Marty was on fire.

142
00:06:21,245 --> 00:06:23,437
- So was Gemma.
- Yeah.

143
00:06:23,866 --> 00:06:26,694
- Did you see how smug he was?
- She was being such a show-off!

144
00:06:27,405 --> 00:06:29,626
I mean, just because I
didn't go to college,

145
00:06:29,651 --> 00:06:31,131
he thinks he's smarter than me?

146
00:06:31,156 --> 00:06:33,346
Well, technically, it's
not "smarter than me,"

147
00:06:33,371 --> 00:06:35,623
it's "smarter than I."

148
00:06:36,475 --> 00:06:38,772
But yours sounds way more right.

149
00:06:39,353 --> 00:06:41,137
All I know is that game wasn't fair.

150
00:06:41,162 --> 00:06:44,022
It was rigged for book-smart
nerds like Marty.

151
00:06:44,591 --> 00:06:46,834
- I regret the day he learned to read.
- Yeah.

152
00:06:47,017 --> 00:06:50,414
You know, the only reason that
Gemma beat me to those answers

153
00:06:50,439 --> 00:06:52,748
is because I always overthink things.

154
00:06:53,633 --> 00:06:55,264
Or do I?

155
00:06:56,047 --> 00:06:57,695
I mean, they may have book smarts,

156
00:06:57,720 --> 00:06:59,155
but we've got street smarts.

157
00:06:59,180 --> 00:07:00,978
Yeah, you know what, of
we had another chance,

158
00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:03,092
we would bust a cat in their ass.

159
00:07:06,515 --> 00:07:09,127
It's-it's a "cap," Dave, not a cat.

160
00:07:12,086 --> 00:07:14,181
That does seem a lot easier.

161
00:07:16,034 --> 00:07:17,658
But like you said,

162
00:07:17,903 --> 00:07:19,861
what if we had another chance?

163
00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:21,634
You mean go back to Ernie's next week?

164
00:07:21,659 --> 00:07:23,009
No. No, no, no.

165
00:07:23,034 --> 00:07:24,353
I got a better idea.

166
00:07:24,390 --> 00:07:26,218
We're gonna level the playing field.

167
00:07:27,017 --> 00:07:29,618
- Oh, I see where you're going.
- You do?

168
00:07:29,643 --> 00:07:31,732
Not at all, but I trust you.

169
00:07:34,881 --> 00:07:37,572
- So, do you eat sushi a lot?
- Not often.

170
00:07:37,597 --> 00:07:41,095
But I did once swallow
Marty's goldfish on a dare.

171
00:07:42,898 --> 00:07:44,415
Oh, my...

172
00:07:45,902 --> 00:07:48,063
Oh, my goodness.

173
00:07:48,088 --> 00:07:50,264
Malcolm, what are you doing here?

174
00:07:50,308 --> 00:07:53,462
You mean eating at the place
I told you I would be?

175
00:07:53,685 --> 00:07:56,383
You did?

176
00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:59,095
That must be why I'm
in the mood for sushi.

177
00:08:02,197 --> 00:08:04,267
Ah... So, uh,

178
00:08:04,539 --> 00:08:07,009
aren't you gonna introduce me?

179
00:08:07,455 --> 00:08:09,986
Mom, this is Sofia. Sofia...

180
00:08:10,118 --> 00:08:11,837
prepare yourself.

181
00:08:13,438 --> 00:08:15,298
It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Butler.

182
00:08:15,323 --> 00:08:17,126
So nice to meet you, too.

183
00:08:17,151 --> 00:08:18,611
Scoot over, Malcolm.

184
00:08:21,173 --> 00:08:24,095
Uh, Ma, this is awkward.

185
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:25,935
Ew, so is eating with sticks.

186
00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:28,056
A sister's gonna need a fork up in here.

187
00:08:31,212 --> 00:08:32,978
Thanks for helping us, Marty.

188
00:08:33,102 --> 00:08:34,930
Yeah, us two dummies,

189
00:08:34,966 --> 00:08:36,316
we tried everything,

190
00:08:36,374 --> 00:08:38,806
but we couldn't get the Wi-Fi to work.

191
00:08:40,609 --> 00:08:43,481
Routers can be pretty
complicated, especially when

192
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,486
you haven't plugged them in.

193
00:08:46,634 --> 00:08:49,540
Oh. Hey, guys.

194
00:08:49,583 --> 00:08:50,758
What are you all doing?

195
00:08:50,783 --> 00:08:52,516
Well, one of us is
plugging in your router

196
00:08:52,541 --> 00:08:55,007
and the other two are
acting super sketchy.

197
00:08:56,983 --> 00:08:58,507
Dave, what's going on?

198
00:08:58,638 --> 00:09:00,538
It's rematch time!

199
00:09:01,945 --> 00:09:04,468
You two are going down.

200
00:09:05,033 --> 00:09:09,116
Welcome to Trivia Night, Home Edition.

201
00:09:11,398 --> 00:09:13,054
Sponsored by

202
00:09:13,079 --> 00:09:15,304
Calvin made me do it.

203
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:25,116
All right, it is game time.

204
00:09:25,141 --> 00:09:27,093
Calvin and Dave versus

205
00:09:27,143 --> 00:09:28,546
Gemma and Marty.

206
00:09:28,571 --> 00:09:30,341
Tonight's drink specials are

207
00:09:30,366 --> 00:09:32,382
make it yourself. This ain't my house.

208
00:09:33,553 --> 00:09:34,530
Dad,

209
00:09:34,714 --> 00:09:36,349
why are you doing this?

210
00:09:36,374 --> 00:09:39,429
To prove that me and Dave are
just as smart as you two.

211
00:09:39,554 --> 00:09:42,765
Oh, so you two actually
think you can beat us?

212
00:09:42,912 --> 00:09:44,515
Yeah, the guys who were both convinced

213
00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:47,716
the tallest peak in California
was Space Mountain.

214
00:09:48,429 --> 00:09:50,340
Uh, hello?

215
00:09:50,501 --> 00:09:53,866
You start on land and end in space.

216
00:09:55,965 --> 00:09:58,335
All right, then. You asked for it.

217
00:09:58,491 --> 00:09:59,785
Let's do this.

218
00:09:59,828 --> 00:10:01,874
Ha. Okay.

219
00:10:01,917 --> 00:10:03,679
Before you get too cocky,

220
00:10:03,726 --> 00:10:05,857
we added a couple of new categories

221
00:10:05,882 --> 00:10:07,923
about some actual important knowledge.

222
00:10:07,967 --> 00:10:10,562
- Yeah.
- Okay. Uh...

223
00:10:10,601 --> 00:10:12,812
"Making Ends Meet."

224
00:10:13,343 --> 00:10:15,890
"Tools and Their Uses."

225
00:10:16,009 --> 00:10:17,640
"Famous Daves"?

226
00:10:18,039 --> 00:10:19,519
And I'll be one

227
00:10:19,544 --> 00:10:22,101
after I lay the snackdown.

228
00:10:23,287 --> 00:10:25,289
Dave, it's "smackdown."

229
00:10:25,314 --> 00:10:26,533
No, no, no, I know.

230
00:10:26,558 --> 00:10:28,124
I was just gonna put some food out.

231
00:10:30,198 --> 00:10:32,148
So, Sofia, you're a teacher.

232
00:10:32,208 --> 00:10:33,788
That means you must like children.

233
00:10:33,827 --> 00:10:35,435
Oh, yes, I love 'em.

234
00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:37,263
They're like little gifts from God.

235
00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:40,476
Ooh, a two-for-one answer.

236
00:10:40,687 --> 00:10:43,482
Oh. You got to keep this
one around, Malcolm.

237
00:10:45,339 --> 00:10:46,993
I'm trying to.

238
00:10:48,571 --> 00:10:51,062
So tell me about your family.
Do they live in town?

239
00:10:51,093 --> 00:10:52,446
Yes. Boyle Heights.

240
00:10:52,490 --> 00:10:54,874
Oh. It must be nice to have them nearby.

241
00:10:54,905 --> 00:10:56,116
Do you see them a lot?

242
00:10:56,273 --> 00:10:58,219
All the time. In fact, Malcolm and I

243
00:10:58,244 --> 00:11:00,028
just had dinner with them last week.

244
00:11:02,799 --> 00:11:04,640
Is that right?

245
00:11:06,155 --> 00:11:08,051
So you all just met last week?

246
00:11:08,076 --> 00:11:10,835
Can a brother get some sake up in here?

247
00:11:11,742 --> 00:11:13,562
Oh, no, that's not when they met.

248
00:11:13,621 --> 00:11:15,702
We all went to a Lakers game last month.

249
00:11:18,353 --> 00:11:21,312
Well, isn't that nice?

250
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:23,851
You know, everybody just
meeting and greeting

251
00:11:23,913 --> 00:11:25,368
and going to games.

252
00:11:25,911 --> 00:11:27,898
Ain't nobody met my ass.

253
00:11:29,675 --> 00:11:31,452
All right, look, Ma, I can explain.

254
00:11:31,507 --> 00:11:33,710
No, no, no, no. Don't bother.

255
00:11:33,796 --> 00:11:35,116
I've heard plenty.

256
00:11:35,184 --> 00:11:38,343
Sofia, enjoy the rest of
your evening, and Malcolm,

257
00:11:38,395 --> 00:11:40,015
you're dead to me.

258
00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:46,015
Okay, the category is
"Making Ends Meet."

259
00:11:47,297 --> 00:11:49,061
"You just moved,

260
00:11:49,198 --> 00:11:51,780
"you're trying to get your lights on,

261
00:11:51,835 --> 00:11:54,179
"but you got bad credit.

262
00:11:56,093 --> 00:11:57,355
What do you do?"

263
00:11:58,630 --> 00:12:00,530
Put the bill in your baby's name.

264
00:12:01,581 --> 00:12:02,648
Correct!

265
00:12:02,673 --> 00:12:03,976
- Yes!
- Yes.

266
00:12:04,554 --> 00:12:06,694
What kind of trivia question is that?

267
00:12:06,738 --> 00:12:08,000
A good one.

268
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,452
One that someone might

269
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,542
actually use in their life.

270
00:12:13,171 --> 00:12:15,058
Wait a minute, is that
why my credit history

271
00:12:15,083 --> 00:12:17,210
goes back to when I was five?

272
00:12:19,538 --> 00:12:21,155
Okay.

273
00:12:21,181 --> 00:12:24,077
So the score is Calvin and Dave: eight,

274
00:12:24,347 --> 00:12:26,349
Gemma and Marty: three.

275
00:12:26,374 --> 00:12:30,101
And still zero dollars in my tip jar.

276
00:12:31,202 --> 00:12:33,800
Okay. Dave, can I talk to you
in the kitchen for a second?

277
00:12:33,825 --> 00:12:35,028
Yeah, but we're right in the middle...

278
00:12:35,053 --> 00:12:36,637
Wrong answer.

279
00:12:40,685 --> 00:12:42,333
I can't believe you.

280
00:12:42,358 --> 00:12:44,862
I know. I totally pulled "Davy Crockett"

281
00:12:44,887 --> 00:12:46,708
out of my butt back there.

282
00:12:47,081 --> 00:12:48,747
That's not what I'm talking about.

283
00:12:48,874 --> 00:12:50,976
I'm talking about how important it is

284
00:12:51,001 --> 00:12:52,887
for you to prove that
you're smarter than me.

285
00:12:52,912 --> 00:12:54,653
No, it's not. And...

286
00:12:54,953 --> 00:12:57,973
technically, it's "smarter than I."

287
00:12:59,932 --> 00:13:02,450
Maybe, when you're using
"than" as a conjunction

288
00:13:02,475 --> 00:13:03,708
with an implied "am."

289
00:13:03,733 --> 00:13:06,278
But I just used it as a preposition.

290
00:13:09,527 --> 00:13:11,887
Okay, I owe Calvin an apology.

291
00:13:12,850 --> 00:13:15,942
So I'm better at trivia than you.
Big deal.

292
00:13:15,967 --> 00:13:17,762
Why are you being so insecure?

293
00:13:17,846 --> 00:13:20,321
I'm not insecure. I'm the most secure.

294
00:13:20,346 --> 00:13:22,794
I-I'm the securest.

295
00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:24,191
Ugh.

296
00:13:24,232 --> 00:13:26,091
And I know that's not a word.

297
00:13:26,253 --> 00:13:28,429
That's just how secure I am.

298
00:13:30,522 --> 00:13:33,481
Fine, don't admit it to me, but
at least admit it to yourself:

299
00:13:33,506 --> 00:13:35,317
you're being a giant baby.

300
00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:39,735
Well, you see, that's why you're losing.

301
00:13:39,910 --> 00:13:42,260
A giant baby is just a
normal-sized adult.

302
00:13:51,662 --> 00:13:52,739
Hey.

303
00:13:52,812 --> 00:13:55,466
Ah. Look who's home early.

304
00:13:55,655 --> 00:13:58,102
I thought maybe you'd be out
getting a family portrait

305
00:13:58,127 --> 00:13:59,868
with Sofia's parents.

306
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,637
Ma, will you stop?

307
00:14:03,670 --> 00:14:05,747
You met her parents, Malcolm.

308
00:14:05,777 --> 00:14:09,059
More than once, but you
wouldn't let her meet me?

309
00:14:09,143 --> 00:14:11,169
Your father I get, but me?

310
00:14:12,758 --> 00:14:14,770
Do I really embarrass you that much?

311
00:14:14,795 --> 00:14:16,835
Ma, you asked Sofia if
she'll be wearing white

312
00:14:16,860 --> 00:14:18,356
on her wedding day.

313
00:14:19,677 --> 00:14:22,161
Malcolm, I'm sorry
that you feel the need

314
00:14:22,186 --> 00:14:23,755
to protect your girlfriends from me.

315
00:14:23,826 --> 00:14:26,176
I didn't realize I was
such a horrible mother.

316
00:14:28,698 --> 00:14:31,434
Look, Ma, I'm not just protecting them.

317
00:14:31,614 --> 00:14:33,573
I'm also protecting you.

318
00:14:33,703 --> 00:14:35,096
From what?

319
00:14:35,232 --> 00:14:37,184
Every time I introduce you to a girl,

320
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:38,645
you get so invested.

321
00:14:38,670 --> 00:14:40,895
You get to know them,
you get close to them,

322
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:43,091
and when it doesn't work
out, it breaks your heart.

323
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:45,864
That is not true.

324
00:14:46,251 --> 00:14:47,687
Oh, really?

325
00:14:47,712 --> 00:14:49,758
When I broke up with Jessica, you kept

326
00:14:49,783 --> 00:14:52,309
sneaking out to see her
for three more weeks.

327
00:14:52,981 --> 00:14:55,528
I just needed more time, okay?

328
00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:59,598
Look, Ma, you know I love you.

329
00:14:59,623 --> 00:15:01,778
But it's hard enough for
me to get over a girl.

330
00:15:01,803 --> 00:15:04,528
I don't want to have to worry
about you getting over her, too.

331
00:15:04,950 --> 00:15:07,648
I guess I just keep hoping
every girl you bring home

332
00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:09,145
is gonna be the one.

333
00:15:09,170 --> 00:15:11,653
Ah, don't worry about it.
One of them will be.

334
00:15:12,806 --> 00:15:15,036
Hey, maybe Sofia. We'll see.

335
00:15:16,656 --> 00:15:18,005
Okay.

336
00:15:18,544 --> 00:15:21,098
Well, as long as it's not that Jessica.

337
00:15:21,123 --> 00:15:24,387
No, that bougie skank
totally ghosted me.

338
00:15:26,478 --> 00:15:29,395
Okay, we are neck and neck

339
00:15:29,420 --> 00:15:33,450
after an epic collapse
from Calvin and Dave.

340
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:36,278
What the hell is with you?

341
00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:38,392
You just blew four answers in a row.

342
00:15:38,557 --> 00:15:40,473
In a question about "Famous Daves,"

343
00:15:40,498 --> 00:15:42,841
you answered Stephen King.

344
00:15:43,499 --> 00:15:44,997
Well, I'm sorry, Calvin.

345
00:15:45,022 --> 00:15:46,942
I guess I'm just not that smart.

346
00:15:47,153 --> 00:15:50,548
And I'm totally okay with it.

347
00:15:51,021 --> 00:15:52,278
You're an idiot.

348
00:15:52,303 --> 00:15:54,044
Exactly.

349
00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:55,778
Okay, am I missing something?

350
00:15:55,803 --> 00:15:58,387
I am. Tips in my jar.

351
00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:01,536
Here's a quarter.

352
00:16:02,126 --> 00:16:03,489
Spin the damn wheel.

353
00:16:03,927 --> 00:16:07,200
Okay, we are all tied up,

354
00:16:07,225 --> 00:16:10,286
and apparently, since I'm
doing this for a quarter,

355
00:16:10,950 --> 00:16:12,140
this will be

356
00:16:12,165 --> 00:16:13,692
our last question.

357
00:16:17,201 --> 00:16:18,715
Ooh. "Auto Parts."

358
00:16:18,966 --> 00:16:21,091
Come on. That's not fair.

359
00:16:21,134 --> 00:16:22,216
He's a mechanic.

360
00:16:22,276 --> 00:16:24,496
Ah, guys, do you want to call it now,

361
00:16:24,521 --> 00:16:27,278
or do you want to go
through the humiliation?

362
00:16:28,306 --> 00:16:31,270
I'm just kidding. I want
to see the humiliation.

363
00:16:32,397 --> 00:16:36,357
Okay. "In a car's engine's cylinders,

364
00:16:36,527 --> 00:16:38,552
the valves..."

365
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:41,841
Lets the fuel in and the exhaust out.

366
00:16:41,887 --> 00:16:42,932
Final answer.

367
00:16:42,957 --> 00:16:45,020
- Incorrect.
- What?

368
00:16:46,610 --> 00:16:49,270
I did not finish asking the question.

369
00:16:49,514 --> 00:16:51,677
"In a car engine's cylinders,

370
00:16:51,891 --> 00:16:55,373
"the valves let the fuel
in and the exhaust out.

371
00:16:55,534 --> 00:16:58,494
This part moves the valves."

372
00:16:58,763 --> 00:17:00,223
Okay, okay, okay.

373
00:17:00,248 --> 00:17:01,684
Okay. I can figure this out.

374
00:17:01,709 --> 00:17:05,190
Um, the spark plugs ignite the fuel,

375
00:17:05,271 --> 00:17:07,958
which fires the pistons, which turns

376
00:17:07,983 --> 00:17:10,809
the crankshaft, which is
attached to the timing belt,

377
00:17:10,834 --> 00:17:13,583
which turns the camshaft.

378
00:17:13,643 --> 00:17:16,239
Correct! Yes!

379
00:17:17,725 --> 00:17:21,731
Marty and Gemma win,
and I am out of here.

380
00:17:25,653 --> 00:17:28,395
Well, looks like you were wrong.

381
00:17:28,420 --> 00:17:30,341
Clearly, I have nothing to prove.

382
00:17:30,366 --> 00:17:34,075
Which, if you think about
it, proves I was right.

383
00:17:34,625 --> 00:17:36,262
You know what it proves to me?

384
00:17:36,367 --> 00:17:38,238
That you're sleeping alone tonight.

385
00:17:40,076 --> 00:17:41,637
Wait. I take it back.

386
00:17:41,662 --> 00:17:43,622
I was wrong about being right.

387
00:17:44,921 --> 00:17:47,856
Well, Dad, I guess I win again.

388
00:17:48,028 --> 00:17:50,177
Well, that's only 'cause I
hit the buzzer too fast.

389
00:17:50,202 --> 00:17:51,639
You know what I mean?

390
00:17:51,664 --> 00:17:54,231
The problem is my cat-like reflexes.

391
00:17:54,777 --> 00:17:56,489
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

392
00:17:56,514 --> 00:17:59,168
- Heads up.
- Hey... Oh, hey...

393
00:18:00,532 --> 00:18:03,641
You saw how I blocked that, right?
I blocked that.

394
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:05,997
Come on, Dad, what's
really going on here?

395
00:18:06,194 --> 00:18:10,083
Look, son, just because you
know a few random facts

396
00:18:10,108 --> 00:18:14,330
and have a degree, I-it's not
all the smart that you need.

397
00:18:14,355 --> 00:18:15,574
What are you talking about?

398
00:18:15,663 --> 00:18:17,926
Not everybody gets to go to college.

399
00:18:17,951 --> 00:18:19,387
I mean, I was gonna go,

400
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:21,207
but then your grandfather got sick

401
00:18:21,232 --> 00:18:24,458
and I had to go to work at his shop.

402
00:18:25,247 --> 00:18:27,118
I-Is that what this is about?

403
00:18:27,302 --> 00:18:29,716
Dad, I-I don't think
I'm smarter than you.

404
00:18:29,905 --> 00:18:31,005
You don't?

405
00:18:31,030 --> 00:18:32,184
No.

406
00:18:32,515 --> 00:18:34,604
How do you think I knew
all that car stuff?

407
00:18:34,629 --> 00:18:36,457
When I was a kid, I followed you around,

408
00:18:36,482 --> 00:18:37,934
soaking up everything you said.

409
00:18:37,959 --> 00:18:39,364
And then, because of all your hard work,

410
00:18:39,389 --> 00:18:40,427
I got to go to college,

411
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:42,958
where I learned half of it was wrong.

412
00:18:45,712 --> 00:18:47,231
Well,

413
00:18:47,713 --> 00:18:49,668
thanks to me, you got
out of kindergarten

414
00:18:49,693 --> 00:18:52,005
with an 800 credit score, so...

415
00:18:54,089 --> 00:18:57,645
Seriously, Dad, I'm only
where I am because of you.

416
00:18:57,862 --> 00:18:59,809
So thanks.

417
00:19:00,251 --> 00:19:02,210
You're welcome, son.

418
00:19:04,022 --> 00:19:05,719
Well, would you look at that?

419
00:19:06,169 --> 00:19:08,583
Looks like there are no losers tonight.

420
00:19:10,796 --> 00:19:13,716
Well, looks like I'm
sleeping on the couch.

421
00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:17,325
I stand corrected.

422
00:19:27,205 --> 00:19:28,467
Hey.

423
00:19:33,023 --> 00:19:34,997
I thought of another trivia question.

424
00:19:35,379 --> 00:19:38,583
"Which famous Dave acted
like a total idiot tonight?"

425
00:19:42,394 --> 00:19:43,621
Me.

426
00:19:45,798 --> 00:19:47,185
Or I.

427
00:19:47,210 --> 00:19:49,255
I honestly don't know.

428
00:19:50,009 --> 00:19:52,965
Can you please just tell
me why it was so important

429
00:19:52,990 --> 00:19:54,403
to prove you're smarter than me?

430
00:19:54,428 --> 00:19:56,341
Gemma, don't pretend
like you don't know.

431
00:19:56,366 --> 00:19:57,622
Know what?

432
00:19:57,647 --> 00:19:58,966
Well, that everyone thinks

433
00:19:58,991 --> 00:20:01,776
that you're so accomplished
and smart and...

434
00:20:03,134 --> 00:20:05,552
I'm just some hot trophy husband.

435
00:20:07,976 --> 00:20:09,935
What are you talking about?

436
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:13,567
Sweetie, you're the most
amazing man I know.

437
00:20:13,723 --> 00:20:14,986
Really?

438
00:20:15,011 --> 00:20:18,067
Yeah. You've got this great big heart,

439
00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:20,122
you make me laugh all the time,

440
00:20:20,147 --> 00:20:21,919
and how can you not think you're smart,

441
00:20:21,944 --> 00:20:25,137
Mr. Treasurer of the
Kalamazoo juggling team?

442
00:20:26,637 --> 00:20:28,943
I kept the budget low and
the juggling clubs high.

443
00:20:31,381 --> 00:20:33,887
You know, you may have lost trivia,

444
00:20:33,912 --> 00:20:36,653
but if you go light some
candles in the bedroom,

445
00:20:36,678 --> 00:20:39,309
you might win something else instead.

446
00:20:40,335 --> 00:20:43,091
Are you talking about what I
think you're talking about?

447
00:20:44,687 --> 00:20:46,341
Correct.

448
00:20:47,796 --> 00:20:49,286
All right.

449
00:20:51,140 --> 00:20:52,786
Uh, uh...

450
00:20:53,091 --> 00:20:55,684
We are talking about sex, right?

451
00:20:56,382 --> 00:20:57,906
Yes.

452
00:21:00,282 --> 00:21:03,020
It's a good thing he's hot.

453
00:21:05,092 --> 00:21:08,138
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -