1
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,741
TV HOST:
...what detectives found
in that trunk

2
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:09,577
may have looked like hamburger,

3
00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:12,413
but it wasn't even from a cow.

4
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:13,981
It's a body.

5
00:00:14,082 --> 00:00:16,084
Everybody knows it's a body.

6
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:19,920
Nobody puts loose meat
in the trunk.

7
00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:22,590
Hey, Calvin.

8
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,558
We just wanted to stop in
and see how you're feeling.

9
00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:27,228
Ah, you know,
I'm a little sore...

10
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:29,597
(gasps) Oh, are you watching
Murder On Trial?

11
00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:32,299
I love this show. I bet
you think it's the husband.

12
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,435
Of course it's the husband.
It's always the husband.

13
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:36,404
Nope. It's the deacon.

14
00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:37,738
I should've known

15
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:39,473
you couldn't trust no deacon
in leather pants.

16
00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:41,909
Mm-mm.
All right.

17
00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:43,644
Calvin, it's time
you take a break

18
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:45,113
from this TV
and start to take in

19
00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:46,480
the wonders of nature.

20
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,982
Might I suggest bird-watching?

21
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:50,418
You may not.

22
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:54,955
I like my birds dead,
breaded and with a biscuit.

23
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:57,925
Which you will not be having.

24
00:00:58,025 --> 00:01:00,228
You heard what
the doctor said.

25
00:01:00,328 --> 00:01:01,495
You got to cut down
on the sodium

26
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:02,863
while you're on these meds.

27
00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:04,165
Oh, yeah,
and sodium's in everything.

28
00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:05,366
You know what?
Let me go to the kitchen

29
00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:06,900
and clear out
all the salty snacks.

30
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,436
(imitates screeching tires)

31
00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:12,406
Go, go. Go, go.
All right. Hey.

32
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:15,743
Thank you, Dave,
but Calvin's got it.

33
00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:17,745
He's gonna be
eating leafy greens,

34
00:01:17,845 --> 00:01:19,747
while I'm getting my hair done,
and staying off that leg.

35
00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:20,748
Right, Calvin?

36
00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:21,849
Yes, babe.

37
00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:23,251
All right.
Take care, Calvin.

38
00:01:23,351 --> 00:01:25,186
Yeah. If you need me,
I'm just a phone call away.

39
00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:27,054
Okay.
All right.
(door opens)

40
00:01:27,155 --> 00:01:28,656
Calvin, don't forget,

41
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:30,491
they're delivering
our new towel warmer.

42
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:31,592
I know.

43
00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:32,993
You have to sign for it.

44
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,828
Yes, you told me.

45
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,530
Do you have a pen?

46
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:39,733
Babe, I'm sure
the deliveryman will have a pen.

47
00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:42,336
Mm-mm. See, that's
the kind of assumption

48
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,905
that will lead me
to not getting my towel warmer.

49
00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:48,209
Here's a black and a blue pen.

50
00:01:48,309 --> 00:01:49,543
Okay.

51
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,279
Bye, sweetie.

52
00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:53,113
(door opens, closes)

53
00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:55,716
TV HOST:
Coming up after Murder On Trial,

54
00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:57,084
it's Dead in Wyoming,

55
00:01:57,185 --> 00:01:59,687
followed by an all-new Stabbed.

56
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:03,090
How can there be
this much murder?

57
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,527
I mean, soon enough, there won't
be anybody left alive

58
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:07,661
to watch these shows.

59
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:11,265
* Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood *

60
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:12,600
* Welcome to the hood. *

61
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:22,910
Man, I can't believe
I'm doing this stupid Dave idea.

62
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:28,282
Oh, look, a brown bird.

63
00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:34,855
Oh, wow, a black bird.

64
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:39,227
Hey, man, what are you doing?

65
00:02:39,327 --> 00:02:42,162
Either walk or run, pick one.

66
00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:46,234
Well, hello.

67
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:50,671
Who's your new friend,
Old Man Beasley?

68
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:54,107
Is that the walk of shame
I'm seeing?

69
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,245
Mm-mm-mm.

70
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,381
Oh, look at you.

71
00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:03,317
Picking up after your dog.
(chuckles)

72
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:05,152
Now that's a good neighbor.

73
00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:08,188
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hold on!

74
00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:11,124
Oh, hell no!

75
00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:14,628
Don't be throwing your trash
in my trash!

76
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:17,197
Daddy!
Hell!

77
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:19,166
(laughs)

78
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,169
Hey, Pop, you hungry?

79
00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:25,038
Hey, hey, Malcolm, you know that
empty house across the street?

80
00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:27,275
Well, last week,
somebody moved in.

81
00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:28,776
Okay.

82
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:32,280
Get this, they just had
six bags of groceries

83
00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:34,781
and three bags of ice delivered.

84
00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:41,054
I think they're turning into one
of those Airbnb party houses.

85
00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:42,756
Because of some groceries?

86
00:03:42,856 --> 00:03:46,527
No. Because they also got
a karaoke machine.

87
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:48,796
Oh. Okay.

88
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,698
Uh, Pop, you are sounding
like a Karen.

89
00:03:50,798 --> 00:03:53,301
Karens be right sometimes.

90
00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:55,102
(mouthing)

91
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:57,271
Look, uh, I'm just saying,
you're gonna be trying to sleep,

92
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:58,805
and all you're gonna hear is...

93
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,275
(imitates dance beat)

94
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:04,645
(imitates woman): "Oh, my God,
I can't find my shoes."

95
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:09,817
On the off chance you are
hallucinating from hunger,

96
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:10,951
let's get some food in you,
okay?

97
00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:12,019
What do you feel like eating?

98
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:13,487
Oh, oh, oh, you know what?

99
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,956
I want that, uh,
pulled pork sandwich

100
00:04:16,055 --> 00:04:18,024
from the place on Cresthaven.
Yeah.

101
00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:19,026
No.

102
00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:20,560
Come on.

103
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,195
I am under strict orders
from Mama.

104
00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:23,631
Healthy and low sodium.

105
00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:25,999
Well, your mama's not here
right now, all right?

106
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,701
Man...
She's at the salon
getting her hair done,

107
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,069
so she doesn't have a say.

108
00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:31,071
But-but just in case,

109
00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:33,507
stop at that salad place
on the way home.

110
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,108
You want a salad, too?

111
00:04:35,207 --> 00:04:37,110
No, I just want the bag.

112
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,348
Your mama might check the trash.

113
00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:41,815
You know what I'm saying?

114
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:43,683
Here.

115
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,653
And pay cash for the sandwich.

116
00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:46,987
Go on, now.

117
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,759
(cell phone rings)

118
00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:53,226
Yeah. (grunts softly)

119
00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:54,227
Calvin?

120
00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:55,529
Oh, hey, babe.

121
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,498
I didn't order no sandwich.

122
00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:59,433
No, I got an alert on my phone

123
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,835
saying they tried to deliver
my towel warmer,

124
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:03,404
but nobody was home.

125
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:05,773
No, babe, I've been right here
the whole time.

126
00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:08,642
Well, I'm gonna request
a redelivery.

127
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:11,244
Oh, I got to go,
the purse guy is here.

128
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:12,279
Excuse me.

129
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:14,314
How much is that Gucci?

130
00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:15,916
Tina, don't get that, it's fake!

131
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,418
Oh, bye.

132
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,456
Why you got your blinds closed?

133
00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:26,427
What you trying to hide?

134
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:30,464
Dad, what are you doing?

135
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:32,265
I'm trying to figure out

136
00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:36,136
why this degenerate across the
street has his blinds closed.

137
00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:37,405
He's probably
one of those crazy people

138
00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:38,739
who thinks he's being watched.

139
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,541
Exactly.

140
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,845
Dad, you asked me to come home
right away

141
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,947
to help you
with a computer problem.

142
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,449
Marty, I need you
to find out

143
00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:50,984
what's going on with that house
across the street.

144
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,753
That's not a computer problem.

145
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,822
Son, there's nothing
more important

146
00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:56,890
than shutting down
a party house.

147
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:59,460
Those things are popping up
everywhere.

148
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:03,631
Causing parking problems,
noise at all types of hours,

149
00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:08,235
strangers coming and going,
and all-night karaoke orgies.

150
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:14,107
I won't have that
in my neighborhood.

151
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:17,778
It's situations like this
that makes me want an HOA,

152
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,380
except I don't want to pay
$45 a month

153
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:23,584
to have somebody tell me
I can't have a purple door.

154
00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:24,918
You don't have a purple door.

155
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:27,721
No, but I want the option.

156
00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:31,659
Come on, Marty. Come on,
you got to help me figure out

157
00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:34,094
who owns that house
across the street,

158
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:35,763
see if it's on a rental site.

159
00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:37,798
You know, hey,
check the dark web.

160
00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:41,435
Daddy, all of that is
on the regular web.

161
00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:44,304
(phone rings)
Okay, okay.

162
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,473
Hey, baby.

163
00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:47,541
(dryer whirring)
Calvin, the app says

164
00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:49,610
that the package
is out for redelivery.

165
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:51,745
Please don't miss it this time!

166
00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:53,581
Are you in a helicopter?

167
00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,148
I'm under the dryer!

168
00:06:55,248 --> 00:07:00,220
Tina, it is some crazy stuff
going on in our neighborhood.

169
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,522
Nefarious.

170
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:02,656
It's what?

171
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:03,891
Nefarious!

172
00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:05,926
Who's Darius?

173
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:08,061
Why are we talking about Darius?

174
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:10,731
I don't know!
You brought him up!

175
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:12,332
Look, I got to go, baby. Okay.

176
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,302
Hey, would you grab me
some water?

177
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:17,170
I need to take my pills.
Yeah, I got you.

178
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,839
(knocking at door)

179
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,508
Ooh, ooh, that's probably
your mama's package.

180
00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:22,142
G-Get the door for me.
On it.

181
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,411
Stay right there!
Okay.

182
00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:26,614
Not you. Get the door.

183
00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:28,682
(knocking)
Don't move.

184
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,718
Make up your mind!

185
00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:33,353
(vehicle departing)

186
00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:36,023
Oh, damn it. He's gone.

187
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,525
You see what you did?

188
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:39,159
Actually, I don't.

189
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:47,134
Find anything yet, Marty?
No.

190
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:51,772
I've checked Airbnb, VRBO,
and karaoke-orgies-dot-com,

191
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:54,307
which... which does exist,

192
00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:56,043
but you do not want to go there.

193
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,178
Well, keep looking, son.

194
00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:01,682
The truth is out there.

195
00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:04,151
All we got to do...

196
00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:06,353
(gasps) God, Dave!

197
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,259
Hey, neighbor.

198
00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:14,194
Uh, found this
in the front door.

199
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:16,129
Oh, thanks, Dave.
(door closes)

200
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:18,599
Damn delivery driver thinks
he's Usain Bolt.

201
00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:22,402
So, is there anything
I can help you with?

202
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,072
Dave, you know what?
I got a question for you.

203
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:27,474
How do you feel about
living across the street

204
00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:30,177
from an Airbnb party house?

205
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:33,013
Not good at all!

206
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:35,347
We got to nip this thing
in the bud.

207
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:38,318
For the record, I'm not seeing
a listing for that house.

208
00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:39,787
Are you on the dark web?

209
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,390
Yeah, sure.

210
00:08:44,592 --> 00:08:45,926
Good. Good.

211
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:48,796
Good, good.
Now, Dave, make yourself useful

212
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:50,664
and go and get that guy's name.

213
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:53,433
O-Okay, well, how do I do that?

214
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,135
(chuckles):
It's a piece of cake.

215
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:57,137
Just go through his mailbox.

216
00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,773
Calvin, that's a federal crime.

217
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,208
Since when?

218
00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:02,710
Since mail.

219
00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:07,748
Okay. Well, Dave, I'm not
telling you to commit a crime.

220
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,683
I'm just saying,

221
00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:12,820
if you innocently walked
past the mailbox

222
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:16,690
and accidentally rammed into it,

223
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:20,360
and the mail
inadvertently fell out,

224
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,663
and you mistakenly
shuffle through it...

225
00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:29,402
...and by happenstance
saw the guy's name,

226
00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,071
that's not on you.

227
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:34,407
That's on the inquisitive nature
of universe.

228
00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:40,080
Gemma, if I go down for this,

229
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,015
wait for me.

230
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:45,318
So, what's this
guy done, anyway?

231
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:46,754
Oh, uh...
Oh. Oh!

232
00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:48,055
Brace yourself, Gemma.

233
00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:50,824
He's purchased food
and been nothing but quiet.

234
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,059
Hmm.

235
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:53,927
Oh, that's not good.

236
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,562
It's always the quiet ones.

237
00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:57,798
Who's always the quiet ones?

238
00:09:57,898 --> 00:09:59,867
The murderers.

239
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,070
Murderers?

240
00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:05,739
Gemma, listen to yourself.

241
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:09,076
You've been watching those shows
so long, you're seeing things.

242
00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:10,310
Thank you.

243
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,412
Things the rest of us
are missing.

244
00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:13,947
Right?

245
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:25,358
Ah.

246
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,896
That mailbox just hit me.

247
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:40,640
Gosh!

248
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:42,242
Forget it.

249
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:44,978
MAILMAN:
Dave!

250
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:46,113
(chuckles)

251
00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:48,548
You okay, man?

252
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:49,983
Yeah, no, I'm great.
I was just...

253
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,518
trying to pay our new neighbor
a visit.

254
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:52,986
What's his name, again?
I'm so terrible with names.

255
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:54,988
Save me the embarrassment.
Uh...

256
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:56,656
Huey? Dewey? Louie?

257
00:10:57,758 --> 00:10:59,326
It's on the tip of my tongue.

258
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:02,896
(chuckles)

259
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:06,233
It's on the-- It's on the tip
of my tongue.

260
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:10,437
Well, when someone says that,

261
00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:11,604
you're supposed
to give me the name.

262
00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:13,941
I don't know.

263
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:16,576
Hey, have you ever
actually met this guy?

264
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,846
I'm not answering that
without a lawyer present.

265
00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:25,585
Okay, look, Randall,
I just need this guy's name.

266
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,721
I'm trying to save
this neighborhood.

267
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:30,590
All right, Dave.

268
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,425
You know I'm not supposed
to let you look at the mail,

269
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,561
but you are the only person
on this entire route

270
00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:36,730
that tips me for Christmas.

271
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,498
You buy me birthday cards.
Well...

272
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:42,635
And, uh, you were there
for me in my dark times.

273
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:45,605
Look at it.

274
00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:50,610
Thanks, Randall.

275
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,512
And you know what?
Don't worry about it.

276
00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:53,981
She's gonna come back.

277
00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:56,516
She ain't.
She, uh,

278
00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:58,485
she married
a FedEx guy, and, uh...

279
00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:01,288
I can't compete
with that.

280
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:07,560
All right.
Here you go, Pop, lunch.

281
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:10,831
Aw, that's what
I'm talking about.

282
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:12,665
It's been a full day
of solving crimes.

283
00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:15,302
I am starving.
(Gemma chuckles)

284
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:18,071
Ooh, did you see the 48 Hours

285
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,807
about the quiet neighbor,
but it turned out

286
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,675
he fed his wife to piranhas?

287
00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:24,677
Where'd they get the piranhas?

288
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:26,546
I think you can just
get piranhas.

289
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:29,549
Calvin!

290
00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:34,187
Uh, Malcolm,

291
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:35,889
there's bread on this salad.

292
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,293
Really?
The fake bag trick?

293
00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:41,428
I was bullied, Mama.

294
00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:43,130
I know, baby, I know.

295
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:46,566
Look, babe, in my defense,
you're not supposed to be here.

296
00:12:46,665 --> 00:12:48,401
Since when do you get
your hair done

297
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:49,803
in less than eight hours?

298
00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:52,139
Well, it was a slow gossip week,
you know?

299
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:54,040
Nobody got cheated on,
nobody got fat.

300
00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:56,376
Everybody's thriving.

301
00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:01,114
Okay, I got the guy's name.

302
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:02,649
I feel so dirty about it.

303
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:04,184
But also exhilarated.

304
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,819
I don't know
how to feel.

305
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,955
Is this a gateway crime?
Am I becoming a career criminal

306
00:13:08,055 --> 00:13:10,290
like my father?
Am I okay with that?

307
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:13,026
Dave, just...
just tell us the name.

308
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:16,663
(sighs)
His name is Simon Throckmorton.

309
00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:17,664
I knew it!

310
00:13:17,764 --> 00:13:19,466
(gasps) You did?

311
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:21,634
Well, not that name
specifically.

312
00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:23,103
I just knew he had a name.

313
00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:26,806
What? Wait a minute,
what is going on here?

314
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:29,809
Babe, I'm not gonna
sugarcoat it for you.

315
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:32,279
We got a murderer
living across the street.

316
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:33,380
What?

317
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:34,982
All the signs are there.
CALVIN: Yeah.

318
00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:37,684
Like what?
Like, there are no signs,

319
00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:39,920
which is the biggest sign.

320
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,256
Okay, no, no, no.
Y'all are tripping.

321
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,692
Y'all been cooped up
watching these murder shows.

322
00:13:45,792 --> 00:13:47,227
Y'all are losing
your damn minds.

323
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,029
Yeah, I agree, Mama.

324
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,497
You two watch
so much true crime

325
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:52,232
you see murder everywhere.
Ooh!

326
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,833
Calvin, did you see
the second season

327
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:54,834
of Murder Everywhere?

328
00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:56,069
It's self-contained.

329
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,204
You don't have to
watch season one.

330
00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:59,239
Wait, what--
Wait a minute.

331
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,674
You just can't go around
accusing people

332
00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:03,243
when they've done nothing wrong.

333
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,477
Actually...

334
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:06,746
Ooh, ooh, the dark web.
What you got?

335
00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:10,583
That name Dave found,
Simon Throckmorton?

336
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,920
It's a weird name
so I searched it on Facebook,

337
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:14,888
Linked In, Instagram.

338
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:16,589
All of his profiles were
created last Thursday.

339
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,291
(gasps)
The day he moved in.

340
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:19,927
MARTY:
Yeah. That's not even
the weird part.

341
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:23,796
The weirdest part is
no friends, no posts.

342
00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:25,065
Not even a profile picture.

343
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:26,599
I knew it.

344
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,836
I knew that guy was suspect.
All right, well,

345
00:14:29,937 --> 00:14:31,838
how do we find out
who this guy really is?

346
00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:33,140
The dumpster.

347
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,842
He's been tossing his crap
in my dumpster.

348
00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:37,310
Maybe there's something
in there

349
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,312
that'll let us know
who he really is.

350
00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:41,481
Can you dig through
another man's trash?

351
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:44,751
Hey, once it's in my dumpster,
it's my trash.

352
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:49,389
Okay, I'll go out there
and dig around.

353
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:51,158
All right.
All right.

354
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,064
Dave, are you really
gonna let your wife

355
00:14:57,164 --> 00:14:58,898
dig through a filthy dumpster?

356
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:01,268
Oh, well, I don't know.
You seemed so excited about it.

357
00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:02,769
Dave!

358
00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:05,305
All right. Malcolm,
you want to come?

359
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,207
Uh, yeah. Hell no.

360
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:17,917
CALVIN:
Is he putting on hand sanitizer

361
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:20,720
before he goes in the dumpster?
Yeah.

362
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:28,195
There's Throckmorton.
(all gasp)

363
00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:31,164
Boy, he looks familiar.

364
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,633
Maybe because y'all been
staring at him all day.

365
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,837
GEMMA:
Oh, my God.

366
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:38,871
I know where I know him from.

367
00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:40,673
It was on that 48 Hours

368
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,110
about the mob murder
in Kansas City.

369
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:45,645
Oh, you know what,
I saw that one, too.

370
00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:48,015
Throckmorton is actually

371
00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:51,418
Salvatore "Big Sal" Molisani.
Yes! Yes!

372
00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:53,153
Isn't that name
a bit of a stereotype?

373
00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:55,722
I didn't name him, Marty.

374
00:15:55,822 --> 00:16:00,260
But that guy is a button man
for the mob.
Mm-hmm.

375
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,928
MALCOLM:
What's he doing with that rug?

376
00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:03,396
GEMMA: Uh-oh.
MARTY: I don't know,
There's something in it.

377
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,398
Oh, snap, you guys
might be right.

378
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,067
There's something heavy
in there.

379
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:09,402
Mm-hmm. And it ain't
a standing, oscillating fan,

380
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:12,139
I can tell you that much.

381
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:14,474
No, that's a corpse.
(Gemma gasps)

382
00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:15,808
And he's gonna throw it
in my dumpster.

383
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,877
But Dave's in the dumpster.

384
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,079
CALVIN:
Ooh.

385
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,680
(phone ringing)

386
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:24,284
Hello?
Dave, you gotta get out
of there.

387
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:25,785
Gemma, I can't right now.

388
00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:28,088
Some maniac
threw batteries away.

389
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:30,757
You know,
that's hazardous waste.

390
00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:32,292
Dave, forget the batteries.

391
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:33,826
I won't do it, Gemma.

392
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:35,995
This is the only planet
we've got.

393
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:38,665
Dave, you are in real danger.

394
00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:41,701
Oh, I know.
I also just touched raw chicken.

395
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,609
Hey! Occupied!

396
00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:51,144
What the hell?

397
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:52,445
Dave, run!

398
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,186
Oh!

399
00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:00,620
What are you doing?

400
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,622
What are you doing?

401
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,723
I'm throwing trash
in a dumpster.

402
00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:06,226
Why are you in there?

403
00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:09,162
Hey, man, don't try
to put this on me.

404
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,332
Dave, get in here!

405
00:17:15,068 --> 00:17:16,269
Have a seat.

406
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:18,003
What the hell?

407
00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:22,509
(cries out)

408
00:17:25,444 --> 00:17:26,878
I'm gonna call 911.
Lock the door.

409
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:28,548
Do not let Molisani in.

410
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:30,550
Who's Molisani?
Big Sal.

411
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,419
Who's Big Sal?
Throckmorton.

412
00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:34,421
Somebody tell me
what's going on here!

413
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:36,423
They have all lost their minds,

414
00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:39,226
and my towel warmer
is God knows where.

415
00:17:39,326 --> 00:17:43,230
Uh, 911? We're at
1170 Evergreen Drive.

416
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:44,964
There is a murderer outside.

417
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,699
Oh, and we got
white people here.

418
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:48,301
Scream, Gemma.
(screams)

419
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,237
See?
(knock at door)

420
00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:51,804
(Dave and Gemma shriek)

421
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,107
They sure come fast
when you say "white folks."

422
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,178
It's not the police,
it's the delivery guy.

423
00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:00,012
No, no!
Don't do it baby. Don't.

424
00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:04,217
Finally. Okay.
Thank you so much.

425
00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:07,354
All right. I'm gonna
plug this bad boy in

426
00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:09,556
and warm some towels.

427
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:11,258
(all scream)

428
00:18:11,358 --> 00:18:14,761
Who are you people,
and what are you doing?

429
00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:16,996
Who are we?
We live here.

430
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:17,997
Who the hell are you?

431
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,899
Okay, now, Tina,
Tina, back away.

432
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:23,470
We've called 911, and they know
there's white people here.

433
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:26,038
Don't try anything.

434
00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:28,441
I have pepper spray
in my purse next door!

435
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:32,679
And I have raw chicken literally
all over my hands right now,

436
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:33,846
so come get some.

437
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,415
I don't know what's
going on here,

438
00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:37,317
but you better get
your ass out my house.

439
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:38,385
Baby, get back.

440
00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:40,019
Big Sal's gonna kill us.
What?

441
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,688
With this?

442
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:45,658
I'm having a panic attack.

443
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,896
Why are you calling me
Big Sal?

444
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:51,898
Oh, we saw you on 48 Hours.

445
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:53,633
We know you're a mob hit man.

446
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:56,135
And we don't say that
about all Italian-Americans.

447
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:58,971
We know the vast majority
are upstanding citizens.

448
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:03,810
You idiots!
I'm not Salvatore Molisani.

449
00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:06,313
I'm the one who testified
against him.

450
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:08,981
Oh, you're...

451
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:11,251
Giuseppe Zabarino.

452
00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:15,488
So you're not a murderer?
No.

453
00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:17,957
Okay. Well, then, why
did you change your name?

454
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:19,326
So I don't get killed.

455
00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:22,595
I'm in a program...

456
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,765
...that protects...

457
00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,534
you know, witnesses.

458
00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:29,101
Oh...

459
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,472
The Witness Protection Program?
(cries out)

460
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:37,644
We're not supposed to say it,
but yes.

461
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,979
I've been setting up
so my family can join me.

462
00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:42,349
So that house is
not even a party house?

463
00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:43,816
No. It's a safe house.

464
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:45,818
Well, it was a safe house.

465
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:48,821
Ooh, that's our bad.

466
00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:52,158
Now I gotta move
my family again.

467
00:19:52,259 --> 00:19:54,026
We all gotta get
new fake names.

468
00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:58,164
Oh, my kid, he just learned
to spell Throckmorton.

469
00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:01,200
I mean, it's kinda spelled
like it sounds.

470
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:05,204
Gosh, I-I feel terrible.

471
00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:06,539
You know,
send me your new address.

472
00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:09,742
We'll send you a plant
or something.

473
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:12,679
You have no idea
how Witness Protection works.

474
00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:18,551
You know, Gemma, I think
we've learned something.

475
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,253
Stop watching
those murder shows

476
00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:21,954
and stay out of
people's business?

477
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:23,956
No.

478
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:26,726
To always listen
to our guts.

479
00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:28,728
We knew there was
something up over there.

480
00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:33,533
Yeah, we just prevented
a known associate of the mob

481
00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:34,834
from moving onto our street.

482
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:36,669
Hey, way to go, partner.

483
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:38,571
Keeping our neighborhood safe.

484
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,440
(knock on door)

485
00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:42,842
Pasadena police.
We had a report

486
00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:44,877
of a white woman screaming.

487
00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:49,349
Yeah, that-that would be me.

488
00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:51,217
It-it was a false alarm.

489
00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:53,786
I thought I saw a spider.

490
00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:55,087
Blondes.

491
00:21:02,529 --> 00:21:04,431
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

492
00:21:04,531 --> 00:21:06,433
and TOYOTA.

493
00:21:06,533 --> 00:21:07,734
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org