1
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,341
Hey, Mrs. B. Wow.

2
00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:09,176
You look great.

3
00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:10,678
Oh, do I?

4
00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:12,512
Yeah. What's the occasion?

5
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:13,881
Well, the occasion

6
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,517
was your makeup
and hair test for the wedding.

7
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:17,951
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

8
00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:20,454
I... I don't know
how I missed it.

9
00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:21,955
Mm.

10
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,192
Hey, Mama.

11
00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:25,858
Whoa, you look amazing.

12
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,495
Yeah, what's the occasion?

13
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,264
I didn't miss
our anniversary, did I?

14
00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:33,601
I missed the hair
and makeup test.

15
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,902
I texted you about it twice.

16
00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:38,371
Oh, uh, Mama, you texted

17
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,874
the "Butler Fam" group.
Courtney's not in that one.

18
00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:42,576
Yes.

19
00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:43,544
I'm sorry.

20
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:44,945
CALVIN:
I see it here,

21
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,213
I see the "Butler Boys" on here,
is that not a...

22
00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:47,381
No, Butler Boys is just us.

23
00:00:47,515 --> 00:00:49,917
(talking over each other)

24
00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:53,854
Okay, so which group has the-the
little Yoda driving a car?

25
00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:56,224
Oh, that's
the "Daphne Drivers" group.

26
00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:57,557
That's where we talk about

27
00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:58,726
pickup and drop-offs
for daycare.

28
00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:00,227
Oh, and for the record,

29
00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:02,895
it's Grogu on a landspeeder,
but yes.

30
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,698
(laughs)

31
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:05,733
Change that.

32
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,000
Yeah.

33
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:10,538
Okay, the makeup test
may have been my oversight,

34
00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:12,072
but I am very busy, okay?

35
00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:14,408
I've got the florist,
the rentals,

36
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:15,743
the caterers.

37
00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:17,578
I mean, if we
take our eyes off the ball,

38
00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:19,746
we're gonna be
standing around the reception

39
00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:20,914
eating Gravy Jack's.

40
00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:23,251
I ain't be mad at that.

41
00:01:23,351 --> 00:01:25,319
Them jacked fries be fire, boy.

42
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,587
(laughs)

43
00:01:27,388 --> 00:01:28,889
Marty, come on,

44
00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:30,590
get your head in the game, man.

45
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,360
Be better.

46
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,162
<i>♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪</i>

47
00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:35,796
<i>♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪</i>

48
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:41,435
That flight was a nightmare.

49
00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:42,903
Because one passenger
is allergic,

50
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:45,305
nobody gets peanuts?

51
00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:48,941
Mom, it seems like a small
sacrifice to save a life.

52
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,179
(scoffs) Snowflakes.

53
00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:52,979
Oh, look. (laughs)

54
00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:54,282
It's your buddy Calvin.

55
00:01:54,382 --> 00:01:55,816
Well, well, Paula.

56
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,318
- Welcome back.
- Thank you.

57
00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:58,452
How was your flight?

58
00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:00,154
Doesn't anybody dress up

59
00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:01,655
to get on an airplane anymore?

60
00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:03,591
I mean, the girl
sitting next to me,

61
00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:05,459
she was wearing pajamas.

62
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:07,060
(laughs)

63
00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:08,262
Nothing's sacred.

64
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:09,997
But the flight
was surprisingly smooth.

65
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:14,702
I was a little worried when
I saw that we had a DEI pilot.

66
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,504
Oh, I bet you were.

67
00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:18,972
- Yeah.
- Dave, get your mama.

68
00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:20,474
I-- M-Mom, Mom,

69
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:22,710
you really shouldn't
say things like that.

70
00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,845
What? I said it was smooth.

71
00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:27,181
I mean,
are compliments illegal now?

72
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:30,818
Hey, Paula. How was your--

73
00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:32,586
- Don't. Don't ask.
- No, don't ask.

74
00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:36,857
I better call Chip
and tell him I landed safely.

75
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,491
I'm sure he's been worried sick

76
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:41,729
since I told him
about the lady pilot.

77
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:43,864
Oh, okay.

78
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:46,033
So she just don't like nobody.

79
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,201
Chip is her new boyfriend.

80
00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:49,203
- Oh.
- He owns a chain

81
00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:50,538
of car dealerships back home.

82
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:53,207
It's all she talked about
on the way here.

83
00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:55,376
"Chip was the
Phantom of the Opera

84
00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:56,777
"at the Great Lakes Supper Club.

85
00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:59,247
And Chip has
the hips of a salsa dancer."

86
00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:01,849
He doesn't sound so bad.

87
00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:03,651
"Chip is a very generous lover.

88
00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:05,185
He does things
your father would never--"

89
00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:07,087
Okay. Okay, that's enough.

90
00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:12,192
MARTY:
Oh, I couldn't possibly

91
00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:13,661
take another bite of cake.

92
00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:15,228
I cannot believe

93
00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:17,231
y'all are complaining
about having to taste cake.

94
00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:21,034
Uh, excuse me,

95
00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:22,536
but who told your mother

96
00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:25,072
that you didn't need her help
with the tablecloths?

97
00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:29,410
I was just trying to take
something off her plate.

98
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,078
See, that's just it.

99
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,213
She doesn't want
things off her plate.

100
00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:35,214
She wants
everything on her plate.

101
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,684
She lives for this.

102
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:38,552
Yeah, but she's
been so stressed out,

103
00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:40,921
running all over town. We don't
want our wedding to kill her.

104
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,090
Okay, okay.

105
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:45,425
I see what's going on here.
You think this is

106
00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:46,594
your wedding.

107
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,162
No, no, no, no.
This is her wedding.

108
00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:50,831
Yeah, she told me that.

109
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:53,100
Yeah, you know,
and if we survive this,

110
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,868
we're still not out the woods.

111
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,570
Because two weeks later,

112
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:57,938
it's Malcolm's wedding,

113
00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,473
which is actually...

114
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,442
- Mama's wedding.
- Mama's wedding.
- Your mama's wedding.

115
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:02,909
And don't forget it.

116
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,077
I mean, the slightest thing
could set her off.

117
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,079
You know what I call her
when she gets like this?

118
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,916
- TN-Tina.
- TN-Tina.

119
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,284
Ba-boom.

120
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:12,286
Ouch.

121
00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:13,887
Does she know
you all call her that?

122
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,290
Oh, hell no.

123
00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:18,258
You're not gonna
flip on us, are you?

124
00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:21,629
Never.

125
00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:24,565
Listen, y'all
let me handle this.

126
00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:26,265
I am the only one...

127
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,101
- Oh, uh...
- ...that knows how to deal

128
00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:29,770
with her
when she gets like this.

129
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,940
So for the next month,

130
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,775
everything runs through me.

131
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:35,943
Are we clear?

132
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:37,778
- Crystal clear. Yeah.
- Roger that.

133
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:39,947
We're here!

134
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,181
Oh, hey, Mama.

135
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:44,618
- Hey, Daphne. Oh, hi!
- Hi, baby.

136
00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:47,119
Mrs. B, thank you so much

137
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,522
for doing the afternoon pickups,

138
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,659
and all the wedding errands.

139
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,927
Is there anything you can't do?

140
00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,929
- Oh, stop it! (laughs)
- There you go.

141
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,130
There it is.

142
00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:58,265
TINA:
Oh, man,

143
00:04:58,366 --> 00:04:59,400
I just love going to daycare.

144
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:00,434
But that little Connor,

145
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:01,802
he's a piece of work, though.

146
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:02,936
Really?

147
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:04,405
He's usually so sweet.

148
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,306
Well, Tina says he's not sweet,

149
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:08,476
so, you know, drop it.

150
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,013
You know, I caught him
pulling Daphne's hair.

151
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:14,982
- Mm-mm.
- Oh, no.

152
00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:16,315
Did you talk to Ms. Doris?

153
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,518
Ms. Doris?

154
00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:19,052
I talked to Connor.

155
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,457
Mama, he's two.

156
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:25,025
(stammers)

157
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,660
We usually let the teachers
handle this kind of stuff.

158
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,096
Well, that little boy
needed to be told,

159
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:32,032
"Hey, hey, hey!
You do not pull hair."

160
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:39,372
<i>Jeopardy's</i> supposed
to be on channel four,

161
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:41,909
but-but no, here it's on seven.

162
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:44,511
Did your crazy governor do that?

163
00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:48,181
Yes, Mom. It's all part
of his radical agenda.

164
00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:50,017
I knew it.

165
00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:52,351
What's with the lamp?

166
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,555
It's a Himalayan rock salt lamp.

167
00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:56,223
Some doctors believe

168
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,893
it helps with stress relief,
fat burning, improved sleep.

169
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:02,630
(scoffs)
Sounds like a load of crap.

170
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:06,033
I agree, but, you know,

171
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:08,034
the telehealth company
I work for

172
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:11,572
wants me to encourage
my therapy clients to buy them.

173
00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:13,974
So you're selling lamps now?

174
00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:16,610
Let me talk to Chip.

175
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,512
I mean, his business
is going crazy.

176
00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:19,913
I'm sure he could
find a job for you.

177
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,215
Mom, wouldn't that job
be in Michigan?

178
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:24,818
Well, I didn't say there
wouldn't be adjustments.

179
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:28,556
Please. Mom, we moved here

180
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,524
for a reason.

181
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:31,659
To hurt me.

182
00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:33,326
No.

183
00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:37,564
Gemma got a very
impressive job here.

184
00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:38,899
(laughs) Oh, yeah.

185
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:41,234
But she was
telling me that she's over it.

186
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:42,235
Right, Gemma?

187
00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:45,105
I-I didn't say "over it."

188
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,540
No, I don't blame you.

189
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:49,075
Who wants to work for
some fancy private school

190
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,111
where everyone gets a gold star?

191
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,613
Even the slow kids.

192
00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:54,748
- Whoa.
- (groans)

193
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,249
Definitely
didn't say "slow kids."

194
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:59,853
Mom, please,
I know that you love Michigan,

195
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:02,089
but our lives are here.

196
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,024
Plus, Grover just started
a new high school.

197
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:06,594
Oh, yeah, where he's
covering himself with tattoos.

198
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,462
One tattoo, Mom.

199
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:11,298
Well, in Kalamazoo,
kids don't get tattoos.

200
00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:13,233
Because they're not in gangs.

201
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:14,967
Grover is not in a gang.

202
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:17,471
We can't even
get him to join a club.

203
00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:20,272
Well, I'm just glad
you're all so happy here.

204
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,808
I mean,

205
00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:24,777
if you're choosing
to pay these California taxes,

206
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,614
it must be worth it.

207
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,117
It is worth it.

208
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:31,451
We have beautiful beaches.

209
00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:33,120
Yeah. We never go to them,

210
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,454
but we could.

211
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:42,362
Daphne's finally down, and we
are never giving her cake again.

212
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,532
Marty, we've got problems.

213
00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:46,934
Look at your phone.

214
00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:49,002
Connor's mom is in
the parents group chat

215
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:50,804
complaining that
your mom overstepped

216
00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:52,305
and disciplined her child.

217
00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:54,174
Yeah, well, her child
pulled Daphne's hair.

218
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,844
A-ha! Wha--

219
00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:58,979
Hey, man, where did
all the cake go?

220
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:01,314
- (phone ringing)
- Uh-oh. It's Doris.

221
00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:02,783
What, the daycare director?

222
00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:04,484
- Decline. Just decline.
- Yeah, don't answer it.

223
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:06,353
- Courtney, you can decline it.
- Don't answer! Courtney!

224
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:09,321
Hello? Hi!

225
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,824
Ms. Doris.

226
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,525
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

227
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:13,661
Sure.

228
00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:14,695
Uh-huh.

229
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,564
Uh-huh, I understand.

230
00:08:16,664 --> 00:08:18,566
Thank you.

231
00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:22,369
Well, that was a lot of
"uh-huhs."

232
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,005
Your mom...

233
00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:26,907
- Uh-huh?
- Uh-huh?

234
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,342
...has been banned from daycare.

235
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:30,343
Oh, damn.

236
00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:32,045
What are we gonna do?

237
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,013
We can't tell her,
it'll destroy her.

238
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,515
We have to tell her something.

239
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:37,851
Oh, no, we don't. Listen,

240
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,219
you heard Pop.

241
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,754
When she gets
stressed out like this,

242
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,722
everything goes through him.

243
00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:44,692
- Yes. Yes.
- Yes. Yes.

244
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,525
Okay, uh,

245
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:49,863
"Daddy, we have a problem."

246
00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:53,233
Why does everything in this town
have to be vegan?

247
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,867
DAVE:
It doesn't.

248
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:55,869
GEMMA:
And froyo

249
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,236
isn't vegan.

250
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:59,238
PAULA:
I-I just want to know

251
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:01,108
who canceled ice cream.

252
00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:04,211
Calvin!

253
00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:05,646
Come here.

254
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:07,414
Can I ask you a question?

255
00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:09,082
Of course.

256
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,918
Why does this keep happening?

257
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:14,922
Everybody in L.A.
thinks my name is Karen.

258
00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:20,327
You know, because
you be "carin' so much."

259
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:23,997
That is definitely the reason.

260
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:26,900
- (phone chimes)
- Oh, goodness.

261
00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:28,836
- Uh-oh.
- What?

262
00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:31,237
I got a text from Marty.

263
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,607
Says Tina's been
banned from daycare.

264
00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:34,942
What? Why?

265
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:37,044
This is all I have right there.

266
00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:38,445
Oh, my God.

267
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,547
She's gonna be so upset.

268
00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:41,849
Not on my watch.

269
00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:44,785
Let me text the boys back
in the group text

270
00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:47,420
and just let them know,
"stay out of this."

271
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:52,092
"I will keep TN-Tina
from blowing her top."

272
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,461
Did you hear that?

273
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:58,331
Oh, that is so
the perfect nickname.

274
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:01,368
Isn't that right? Ba-boom!

275
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:03,070
(phones chime)

276
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,506
Okay, good.
Dad says he's handling it.

277
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,807
Oh, damn.

278
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:10,142
Pop sent the text
to the "Butler Fam" chat.

279
00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:12,345
Your mom is in that one.

280
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,114
We are all gonna die!

281
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,383
(shouting)

282
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:21,855
Daddy, what have you done?

283
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:22,856
What are you talking about?

284
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:23,990
That text.

285
00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:25,826
About TN-Tina blowing her top?

286
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:28,194
You sent it to the group
with Mama in it.

287
00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:29,262
No, I didn't.

288
00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:30,630
- Yes, you did.
- Yes, you did.

289
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:33,166
- Look, look...
- (talking over each other)

290
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:35,703
We are in this one.
You want the one she's not in.

291
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:37,437
Oh, damn, I did.

292
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:39,339
You did.

293
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,174
Look, it is a group chat.

294
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:43,076
You check and double-check,

295
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:45,178
and if all else fails,
you unsend.

296
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:47,614
But it's too late now.

297
00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:49,216
The die has been cast.

298
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:50,650
Hey, Marty, Marty!

299
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:52,986
Get ahold of yourself.

300
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,022
All right, look,

301
00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:56,456
I'll just say that

302
00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:58,691
you didn't like the cake
that your mama picked out,

303
00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:00,193
and that you want coconut,

304
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,062
and you thought
she would be mad.

305
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:04,331
So, that's it.
Say it with me. Coconut.

306
00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:05,899
- Coconut.
- Coconut.

307
00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:07,399
- Coconut.
- Coconut. That's it.

308
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,870
How do you explain
calling her "TN-Tina"?

309
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:13,306
(groans)

310
00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:16,408
Okay, you know what?

311
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:20,547
I'll just say that
she's hot like a firecracker.

312
00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:22,015
- Oh, oh.
- Huh?

313
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,717
- Yeah, man. That is...
- Come on.

314
00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:25,218
- It just came from nowhere.
- From nowhere.

315
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:26,720
I landed the plane
with that one.

316
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:29,322
- (imitates beeping)
- You see me? (shouts)

317
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,557
She gonna love that.
She gonna love it.

318
00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:34,127
And she is not here
screaming at us,

319
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:36,029
so maybe she hasn't seen it yet.

320
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:37,697
- That's a good point.
- Yeah.

321
00:11:37,798 --> 00:11:39,499
We still got time
to smash her phone.

322
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,235
<i>PAULA:
Oh, Chip.</i>

323
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,371
No,

324
00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:48,108
Tom Selleck hasn't stolen me
away from you yet.

325
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:51,845
He's so funny.

326
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:55,048
Okay, good night, honey.

327
00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:57,751
No.

328
00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:00,453
No, I can't.

329
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,089
They're right here.

330
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,957
Oh.

331
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,826
Yeah, we're right here, Chip!

332
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,596
- Bye.
- So, how's Chip?

333
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,264
Besides horny?

334
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,601
He's fine. Oh, and guess what?

335
00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:17,303
He has a job for you.

336
00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:19,039
(sighs)
Mom, I told you,

337
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:21,308
I don't want to sell cars.

338
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,710
Your passion is selling lamps?

339
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:27,613
They're making you
sell lamps now?

340
00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:28,949
Oh, honey.

341
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,316
Okay.

342
00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:32,820
And the job
wouldn't even be in sales.

343
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:36,123
Mom, I told you,
I don't want the job.

344
00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:38,291
Because you'd be a nepo baby?

345
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:42,996
Nobody has to know
he's rocking your mommy's world.

346
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,531
Oh, my God.

347
00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:48,334
That wasn't the issue,

348
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:50,804
although now,
it will haunt me forever.

349
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:52,239
Mom,

350
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:54,307
for the hundredth time,

351
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:57,010
we live in Los Angeles.

352
00:12:57,945 --> 00:12:59,379
All right.

353
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,915
I get it.

354
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,185
I had to try.

355
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:07,720
And you know I only do this

356
00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:09,322
because I love you
and I miss you,

357
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:13,026
and I just wish
you weren't so far away.

358
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,898
That's actually sweet.

359
00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:20,267
Rocking her world?

360
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:22,569
(groans)

361
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:27,007
Okay.

362
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,542
Looks like the coast is clear.

363
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:31,043
Her phone's right there.

364
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,012
Okay, what's her password?

365
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,546
Don't worry about that.

366
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,349
Everybody, just clear...
watch out for shrapnel.

367
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:39,051
- No, Daddy, you don't have to--
- Oh, no, no!

368
00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:40,053
- Hey!
- Hey!

369
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,854
What's up? How y'all doing?

370
00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:44,324
Good, we good. How you doing?

371
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:45,725
That's the real question.

372
00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:47,060
Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

373
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:48,695
That's-- Where did my phone go?

374
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:50,931
- That's what I'm looking for...
- You know, I don't know.

375
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:52,165
You know,
how about we go to the store

376
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:53,300
and get you a new one.

377
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:54,868
MARTY:
Yeah, yeah. That's good.

378
00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:56,803
You know, I hear the cameras
are so much better now.

379
00:13:56,904 --> 00:13:59,372
Oh. Okay, fine,
but before we go,

380
00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:00,540
a quick question.

381
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:01,808
Who's "TN-Tina"?

382
00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:04,044
- Damn it! This is bad.
- I should've run.

383
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,078
So, who is TN-Tina?

384
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:07,714
Yeah, that's the question.

385
00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:09,016
- That is the question.
- That's the question
right there.

386
00:14:09,116 --> 00:14:11,618
You know, TN-Tina is you, babe.

387
00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:13,886
- Mm.
- 'Cause you hot
like a firecracker.

388
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:16,456
(chuckles)
You like that, don't you?

389
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,125
I do not.

390
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:22,629
That's all I got.

391
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:23,896
Daddy, come on, what happened

392
00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:25,132
to flying the plane?

393
00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:26,566
You were flying the plane.

394
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,435
Wait. Wait a minute.
Why are you so worried

395
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:29,736
I'm gonna blow my top?

396
00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:31,403
It's-it's about the cake.

397
00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:33,406
We have decided we want coconut.

398
00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:35,008
- Coconut.
- Oh.

399
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:37,310
Okay, that makes sense,
'cause you're allergic,

400
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:38,445
so you want your whole chest

401
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:40,380
to break out in a big itchy rash

402
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:41,814
on your wedding day.

403
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,250
Daddy made us lie!

404
00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:44,751
Uh-huh. I knew it.

405
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:45,752
He don't know!

406
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,520
It's not my fault that y'all

407
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:50,290
sent our grandbaby
to a little punk-ass preschool.

408
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:52,591
Wait, wait a minute.

409
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:54,293
What are y'all talking about?

410
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,663
Ma, it's... it's about that
little boy that you yelled at.

411
00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:59,466
I did not yell
at that little boy.

412
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:01,568
When do I yell at kids?!

413
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:03,937
Regardless, Doris has...

414
00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:05,505
Go on.

415
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:12,479
...banned you from daycare.

416
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,114
Banned?

417
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,183
Mm-mm.

418
00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:19,119
Oh. I see.

419
00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:21,989
Well, I would love to tell Doris

420
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:24,823
my side of the story, so

421
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:26,393
I'll stop by and say hi.

422
00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:28,528
(all stammering)

423
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,363
I don't think
that's a good idea.

424
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:34,166
Now, now, do not
worry about me, okay?

425
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:35,768
I'll just have a quick
chat with Doris

426
00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:38,371
and maybe take away
something she loves.

427
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:40,840
- No, Mama.
- Oh, no, she's gonna blow!
She's gonna blow!

428
00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:42,475
Get the keys!
Somebody get the keys!

429
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:43,676
- Move out of my way!
- Mama...

430
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,645
(shouting)

431
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,981
(Calvin stammering)

432
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:50,783
(grunting)

433
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,386
(shouting)

434
00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:01,528
Hey, how was dropping
your mom off at the airport?

435
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:04,363
Well, she very helpfully
alerted security

436
00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:07,467
to three possible terrorists
at the bag drop.

437
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,138
O for three, by the way.

438
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:14,706
Well, now she's Chip's problem.

439
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:16,676
I gotta say,
he's kind of good for her.

440
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,645
Yeah, she did seem happy.

441
00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:20,879
It's just so insulting that
she would think that I would

442
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:24,217
drop everything and go work
for the great and powerful Chip.

443
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,518
(imitating Chip): Oh, I'm
the Phantom. I sell cars.

444
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,021
(chuckles)

445
00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:29,722
Although I checked out
his website,

446
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,291
it's actually pretty impressive.

447
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:32,692
Yeah, I looked at it.

448
00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:34,361
Seems snazzy enough.

449
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:35,595
(phone chimes)

450
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:39,232
Somebody's texting me
from Kalamazoo.

451
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:41,134
(scoffs) It's Chip.

452
00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:42,835
"Hey, sport."

453
00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:44,671
You're not my dad, Chip.

454
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,706
It's okay, Dave.

455
00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:49,376
"Just wanted to give you
a few deets on the job."

456
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:53,280
Not fooling anyone
with the "deets," grandpa.

457
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:55,482
Huh.

458
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,518
"VP of Human Resources"?

459
00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:00,220
Isn't that kind of good?

460
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,255
I mean, it is.

461
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:05,525
In a different world, that would
be right up my alley, but

462
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:07,827
it's in Kalamazoo
and we live in L.A.

463
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:09,129
(scoffs) Yeah, we do.

464
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:10,863
We could go to the beach
right now.

465
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:12,332
You want to go right now?

466
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:14,234
I don't know. Traffic.

467
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,572
Look, babe, I'm sorry

468
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:21,441
that you're having
to deal with all of this.

469
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:22,908
I mean,

470
00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:24,177
you got enough on your plate

471
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:25,545
with the wedding
coming up in two weeks,

472
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:28,181
and all these
super-sensitive parents

473
00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:31,118
snitching you out
basically over nothing.

474
00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:35,222
I'm not mad at them, Calvin.
I'm mad at you.

475
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:37,624
Me?

476
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:38,891
Yes.

477
00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:40,592
After all our years
we've been together,

478
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:43,629
I don't want you thinking
that you have to manage me.

479
00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:45,298
I was just trying
to protect your feelings.

480
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:49,536
Why, 'cause you didn't want
TN-Tina to go off?

481
00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:51,971
I didn't make up that nickname.

482
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:54,807
Well, who did?

483
00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:56,309
Okay, I did.

484
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,779
But it was
actually kind of funny

485
00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:01,681
before you found out about it.

486
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:03,616
Calvin, you're always saying

487
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:06,319
people should
talk things out, be more direct.

488
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,621
Maybe you could
show me the same respect,

489
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:11,958
instead of going around,
texting behind my back.

490
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,360
Okay.

491
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:15,562
I mean, you're right. My bad.

492
00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:16,963
But, just for the record,

493
00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:18,665
I'm not the only one
in this marriage

494
00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:20,467
who isn't always direct.

495
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,135
What are you talking about?

496
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:25,504
(chuckles)
My favorite Adidas tracksuit?

497
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:28,641
The one I accidentally
spilled bleach on?

498
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,613
I mean, come on.
It was older than Malcolm.

499
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:35,648
You insisted on going out in it.

500
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:38,385
You wore the "A" off.
It just said "didas."

501
00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:40,520
Well, you don't need the words

502
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:43,290
if you got the stripes.
The people know.

503
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:46,826
Okay, fine.

504
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,861
I could have been more direct,
just like you could have been.

505
00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:52,165
- And I will be.
- Thank you.

506
00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:54,501
Come here, girl. Come on.

507
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:56,869
I mean,

508
00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:59,038
you really didn't like

509
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,708
when I said you were
hot like a firecracker?

510
00:19:02,509 --> 00:19:04,844
I kind of liked it.

511
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,712
In that case,

512
00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:09,516
it's about to be the
Fourth of July up in here, girl.

513
00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:11,017
(laughs)

514
00:19:11,117 --> 00:19:13,186
Well, all right!

515
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:15,054
♪ ♪

516
00:19:22,529 --> 00:19:25,898
I don't know, it could be
therapeutic for you, Jerry.

517
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,700
The heat of the lightbulb

518
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,736
releases the negative ions

519
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,603
in the Himalayan salt.

520
00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:34,341
<i>JERRY: Will this help me with
my online shopping addiction?</i>

521
00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:39,946
No. Uh...

522
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:41,447
No, J-Jerry,

523
00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:43,149
it's a lamp made out of salt.

524
00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:44,851
It won't
do anything for anybody.

525
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:47,654
<i>Well, I guess I'll try it.</i>

526
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:50,623
No-no, Jerry.

527
00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:52,459
Stop buying garbage
on the Internet,

528
00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,126
and go see a real therapist,

529
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:55,962
which is what I used to be.

530
00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:58,465
<i>So, is the shipping free?</i>

531
00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:02,869
Goodbye, Jerry.

532
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:11,010
♪ ♪

533
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:30,530
"Gemma...

534
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,332
I've been thinking."

535
00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:33,600
(phone whooshes)

536
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:35,302
(phone chimes)

537
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,672
Whoa.

538
00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:41,508
No, no, no, no, no. Dave.

539
00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:44,043
You put this in the group chat.

540
00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:46,545
(phones chime)

541
00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:51,584
BOTH:
"Maybe going to Kalamazoo
is not so crazy."

542
00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:03,696
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

543
00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:06,499
and TOYOTA.

544
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:10,036
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org