1
00:00:02,188 --> 00:00:03,898
Hey, what's up, little man?
2
00:00:04,099 --> 00:00:05,492
Oh, hi, Mr. Calvin.
3
00:00:05,517 --> 00:00:07,765
Me and my dad are about
to do some hoops.
4
00:00:08,539 --> 00:00:10,921
I think you mean "shoot some hoops."
5
00:00:10,946 --> 00:00:12,484
No, he doesn't.
6
00:00:14,375 --> 00:00:17,296
Tryouts for the Walcott Academy
Hula-Hoop squad are next week,
7
00:00:17,321 --> 00:00:20,171
and Grover's got to
get his game hips on.
8
00:00:22,455 --> 00:00:24,158
- Hula-Hoop tryouts?
- Mm-hmm.
9
00:00:24,183 --> 00:00:25,226
Don't you just show up
10
00:00:25,251 --> 00:00:27,486
and any kid who has asthma is in?
11
00:00:27,924 --> 00:00:29,945
Actually, it is very competitive.
12
00:00:29,970 --> 00:00:31,768
It's the second most
popular sport at school,
13
00:00:31,793 --> 00:00:33,078
after Mathletics.
14
00:00:33,344 --> 00:00:34,890
And that one's for nerds.
15
00:00:37,695 --> 00:00:39,646
So, are you telling me that no one
16
00:00:39,671 --> 00:00:42,757
at this little hippie school
of yours plays real sports?
17
00:00:43,361 --> 00:00:45,750
How do you tell the cool
kids from the losers?
18
00:00:46,406 --> 00:00:48,976
Oh, Caleb's definitely cool.
19
00:00:49,267 --> 00:00:51,869
He can Hula-Hoop around his neck.
20
00:00:53,143 --> 00:00:55,845
And his dad won't let anyone forget it.
21
00:00:56,492 --> 00:00:58,877
Okay, listen to me, Dave.
22
00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:01,117
Look, the youth basketball team I coach
23
00:01:01,142 --> 00:01:02,523
is starting a new season.
24
00:01:02,736 --> 00:01:05,140
Do Grover a favor... let him join us.
25
00:01:11,345 --> 00:01:13,012
Like, right now.
26
00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:16,455
I don't know. You know,
Grover's never played
27
00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:18,080
organized sports before.
28
00:01:18,285 --> 00:01:20,053
Come on, Dave, it'll be good for him.
29
00:01:20,078 --> 00:01:22,007
Like... look, I don't like to brag,
30
00:01:22,032 --> 00:01:24,179
but I'm the best coach in town.
31
00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:27,742
Maybe in all of California.
32
00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:31,115
I guess it would be good for Grover
33
00:01:31,140 --> 00:01:32,716
to learn about winning and losing.
34
00:01:32,741 --> 00:01:34,117
Not on my team.
35
00:01:34,245 --> 00:01:37,070
No, we've gone undefeated
the last two seasons.
36
00:01:37,208 --> 00:01:39,914
He's gonna have to learn
that losing part from you.
37
00:01:41,186 --> 00:01:42,687
All right, what do you say, bud?
38
00:01:42,712 --> 00:01:44,882
You want to join Mr.
Calvin's basketball team?
39
00:01:45,009 --> 00:01:46,663
Sure. Sounds fun.
40
00:01:46,688 --> 00:01:50,640
Great. Practice starts
tomorrow, but for now,
41
00:01:51,358 --> 00:01:53,031
why don't you show me what you got.
42
00:01:53,056 --> 00:01:55,091
- All right, now, come on, buddy.
- All right.
43
00:01:55,411 --> 00:01:57,312
Show him those Johnson skills.
44
00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:00,054
Come on. All right.
45
00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:09,218
You know what, uh, let's
try it with this one.
46
00:02:23,204 --> 00:02:24,438
Hey, Mom..
47
00:02:24,463 --> 00:02:26,320
Hey. How was basketball practice?
48
00:02:26,345 --> 00:02:28,530
It was great! Coach Calvin made me
49
00:02:28,555 --> 00:02:31,023
the most important position on the team.
50
00:02:31,223 --> 00:02:33,281
Really? That's incredible.
51
00:02:33,306 --> 00:02:34,835
What are you, the point guard?
52
00:02:34,860 --> 00:02:35,890
Better.
53
00:02:35,915 --> 00:02:37,682
The equipment manager!
54
00:02:41,966 --> 00:02:44,467
What? You can't be the
equipment manager.
55
00:02:44,492 --> 00:02:46,388
That's the job they give the kids who...
56
00:02:46,413 --> 00:02:49,420
Who care the most about the team.
57
00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:52,931
It's so cool.
58
00:02:52,956 --> 00:02:56,038
I'm in charge of the
basketballs and towels,
59
00:02:56,063 --> 00:02:59,347
and no one gets Gatorade
without going through me.
60
00:02:59,372 --> 00:03:00,940
Mm.
61
00:03:01,199 --> 00:03:03,187
Yeah, he might not need
to wear a cup, but...
62
00:03:03,212 --> 00:03:05,562
he sure can fill one.
63
00:03:06,423 --> 00:03:09,398
I'm gonna go practice
handing out orange slices.
64
00:03:11,299 --> 00:03:13,945
If only Caleb could see me now.
65
00:03:15,073 --> 00:03:16,874
Yeah, you go get 'em, son!
66
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,991
Kid's got a heart of a champion.
67
00:03:20,397 --> 00:03:21,702
No, what the kid has got is
68
00:03:21,727 --> 00:03:23,977
the most embarrassing job on the team.
69
00:03:24,002 --> 00:03:26,291
Ugh! Being the equipment
manager is like being
70
00:03:26,316 --> 00:03:28,317
the tree in the school play.
71
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:31,171
Hey, I was the tree in the school play.
72
00:03:33,115 --> 00:03:35,339
Don't throw shade until
you've provided it.
73
00:03:35,364 --> 00:03:36,781
Oh, God.
74
00:03:38,431 --> 00:03:41,023
Seriously, how could you
let Calvin do that to him?
75
00:03:41,048 --> 00:03:42,602
Oh, well, Gemma...
76
00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:44,307
he was awful.
77
00:03:44,375 --> 00:03:46,406
I mean, he couldn't
shoot, he couldn't pass,
78
00:03:46,431 --> 00:03:49,271
and when he jumped, I
don't know, somehow...
79
00:03:49,616 --> 00:03:51,190
he got lower.
80
00:03:53,197 --> 00:03:55,070
How is that even possible?
81
00:03:55,145 --> 00:03:56,479
No one knows.
82
00:04:01,417 --> 00:04:03,682
Aw, how about this one?
83
00:04:03,707 --> 00:04:05,831
Your old hall monitor vest.
84
00:04:08,132 --> 00:04:09,592
Keep or trash it?
85
00:04:09,738 --> 00:04:12,328
Uh, trash. I don't want
to be one of those guys
86
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:13,814
that's stuck in his glory days.
87
00:04:16,591 --> 00:04:18,641
Whoa, what is going on in here?
88
00:04:18,666 --> 00:04:21,703
Looks like somebody turned a
nerd upside down and shook him.
89
00:04:23,487 --> 00:04:26,349
No, we're just clearing out a
few of Marty's old things.
90
00:04:26,374 --> 00:04:28,042
Your father was complaining
about my stuff
91
00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:29,534
crowding his side of the closet.
92
00:04:29,610 --> 00:04:31,711
Oh, so you're moving
some of your stuff here?
93
00:04:31,736 --> 00:04:33,274
No, his.
94
00:04:33,998 --> 00:04:35,526
And if he complains again,
95
00:04:35,551 --> 00:04:36,987
he's getting moved here, too.
96
00:04:38,079 --> 00:04:41,281
Hey, check it out... my
old snake terrarium.
97
00:04:41,306 --> 00:04:43,290
Oh, yeah, I remember Slinky.
98
00:04:43,391 --> 00:04:45,589
You thought you would look
cool showing up at parties
99
00:04:45,614 --> 00:04:47,014
with a snake around your neck.
100
00:04:47,311 --> 00:04:49,612
Well, I would have if he hadn't escaped.
101
00:04:49,772 --> 00:04:51,792
Or if you were ever invited to a party.
102
00:04:53,199 --> 00:04:55,414
Malcolm, stop being so
mean to your brother.
103
00:04:55,439 --> 00:04:57,056
- Yeah, thanks, Mom.
- Now, get your old,
104
00:04:57,081 --> 00:04:58,430
stupid childhood crap out of here.
105
00:04:58,455 --> 00:05:01,511
Out of here.
106
00:05:02,658 --> 00:05:05,059
I don't blame Slinky for running away.
107
00:05:05,284 --> 00:05:07,306
I would take off, too, if my owner was
108
00:05:07,331 --> 00:05:09,686
an "Official Klingon Ambassador."
109
00:05:11,135 --> 00:05:13,440
Well, actually...
110
00:05:14,017 --> 00:05:16,276
Slinky didn't exactly run away.
111
00:05:16,557 --> 00:05:17,690
What?
112
00:05:17,715 --> 00:05:19,153
Ooh, I hated that thing.
113
00:05:19,178 --> 00:05:20,712
It freaked the hell out of me.
114
00:05:21,486 --> 00:05:24,282
So, one day, you boys were in school,
115
00:05:24,307 --> 00:05:27,258
and I put it in a bag and
drove it to the woods.
116
00:05:29,565 --> 00:05:31,124
You let it go?
117
00:05:31,149 --> 00:05:32,709
Yeah, let's go with that.
118
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:36,296
I can't believe Marty never found out.
119
00:05:36,321 --> 00:05:38,130
And he never will, right?
120
00:05:38,384 --> 00:05:40,922
Hey, well, don't worry,
I did not hear a thing.
121
00:05:40,947 --> 00:05:42,548
Yeah.
122
00:05:42,573 --> 00:05:44,399
But I did!
123
00:05:51,975 --> 00:05:53,646
Calvin.
124
00:05:54,140 --> 00:05:55,974
Oh. Hey, Gemma.
125
00:05:55,999 --> 00:05:57,233
Equipment manager?
126
00:05:57,258 --> 00:05:59,470
You made my son the equipment manager?
127
00:05:59,495 --> 00:06:00,904
Hey.
128
00:06:01,262 --> 00:06:04,198
It's the most important
person on the team...
129
00:06:04,710 --> 00:06:07,118
who's not technically on the team.
130
00:06:08,881 --> 00:06:11,040
Calvin, I played varsity lacrosse,
131
00:06:11,065 --> 00:06:13,374
and we all know what happens
to equipment managers.
132
00:06:13,399 --> 00:06:16,294
They get teased and shoved into lockers.
133
00:06:16,487 --> 00:06:19,743
At least that's what we did to ours.
134
00:06:19,768 --> 00:06:22,282
Yeah, those were the
good old days, right?
135
00:06:22,456 --> 00:06:25,845
I stuffed more geeks into
lockers than I did books.
136
00:06:27,157 --> 00:06:29,493
Calvin, being on a team
made me resilient.
137
00:06:29,518 --> 00:06:30,900
It toughened me up.
138
00:06:30,925 --> 00:06:32,593
And that's what I want for Grover.
139
00:06:32,765 --> 00:06:34,311
But...
140
00:06:34,489 --> 00:06:36,980
he's the worst player I've ever coached.
141
00:06:37,454 --> 00:06:39,526
And I coached Marty.
142
00:06:41,730 --> 00:06:43,196
It was one practice.
143
00:06:43,221 --> 00:06:44,822
I'm sure he'll get better.
144
00:06:45,087 --> 00:06:46,564
Besides, I thought you told Dave
145
00:06:46,589 --> 00:06:48,724
you were the best coach in the world.
146
00:06:49,221 --> 00:06:51,161
I never said that.
147
00:06:51,186 --> 00:06:52,883
I'm not an egomaniac.
148
00:06:53,998 --> 00:06:55,707
I said California.
149
00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:58,951
Look, it was your idea
150
00:06:58,976 --> 00:07:01,046
to put him on the team in
the first place, so...
151
00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:02,631
put him on the team.
152
00:07:02,752 --> 00:07:06,386
Unless you want to be
stuffed into a locker.
153
00:07:14,731 --> 00:07:16,812
Wow.
154
00:07:16,956 --> 00:07:19,690
For a tiny little white
girl, she's kind of scary.
155
00:07:22,729 --> 00:07:24,029
I can't believe it.
156
00:07:24,128 --> 00:07:26,073
You murdered Slinky.
157
00:07:26,328 --> 00:07:28,268
Well, it was self-defense.
158
00:07:28,293 --> 00:07:30,323
As soon as he saw my snakeskin boots,
159
00:07:30,348 --> 00:07:32,082
I knew he was coming for me.
160
00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:35,503
Yeah, hey, look, come on, Marty.
161
00:07:35,528 --> 00:07:38,041
It's been almost 15 years, man.
Let it go.
162
00:07:38,066 --> 00:07:39,456
Well, it's easy for you to say.
163
00:07:39,481 --> 00:07:42,016
You're not the one who
loved him, cared for him,
164
00:07:42,150 --> 00:07:44,882
took him outside for
his nightly slithers.
165
00:07:46,650 --> 00:07:47,983
Okay, Marty,
166
00:07:48,008 --> 00:07:49,462
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have
167
00:07:49,487 --> 00:07:50,970
gotten rid of your pet like that.
168
00:07:50,995 --> 00:07:52,565
What can I do to make it up to you?
169
00:07:52,590 --> 00:07:53,690
Well, that depends.
170
00:07:53,715 --> 00:07:55,252
What else have you lied to me about?
171
00:07:55,277 --> 00:07:57,258
Did my old Space Camp
buddy Winston Chang
172
00:07:57,283 --> 00:08:00,064
really move back to China,
or did you kill him, too?
173
00:08:02,479 --> 00:08:04,776
Okay, Marty, come on.
174
00:08:04,965 --> 00:08:06,988
Let me do something to
make you feel better.
175
00:08:07,130 --> 00:08:08,330
Like what?
176
00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:09,781
Anything. Just name it.
177
00:08:10,110 --> 00:08:12,367
Well, I-I do love your
seafood jambalaya.
178
00:08:12,557 --> 00:08:14,036
Oh.
179
00:08:14,888 --> 00:08:16,372
Wow.
180
00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:19,297
I mean, with all the
shopping and the prep,
181
00:08:19,357 --> 00:08:20,948
that's gonna take all day.
182
00:08:20,983 --> 00:08:23,017
Yeah, you're right. It
does take a lot of time.
183
00:08:23,042 --> 00:08:26,048
Yeah. Although death is forever.
184
00:08:30,847 --> 00:08:33,565
Okay. Fine. I'll go to
the market right now.
185
00:08:33,666 --> 00:08:35,168
Well, hey, Ma, since you out there...
186
00:08:35,193 --> 00:08:36,725
I didn't kill your pet.
187
00:08:42,391 --> 00:08:44,799
Oh, man, I'm really surprised
how upset you are.
188
00:08:45,095 --> 00:08:47,396
I didn't realize how much
you loved that snake.
189
00:08:48,197 --> 00:08:50,190
Well, actually...
190
00:08:52,468 --> 00:08:54,269
I hated that damn thing!
191
00:08:55,073 --> 00:08:56,411
What?
192
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:57,670
Well, it was terrifying.
193
00:08:57,695 --> 00:08:59,957
Like a giant piece of
spaghetti with teeth.
194
00:09:02,213 --> 00:09:03,714
All right, well,
195
00:09:03,739 --> 00:09:05,612
then why are you giving
Mama such a hard time?
196
00:09:05,637 --> 00:09:08,715
I'll tell you why... to teach
her a lesson in honesty.
197
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,885
By lying to her?
198
00:09:12,803 --> 00:09:14,596
Well, I-I wouldn't call it lying.
199
00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:16,155
Okay, then what would you call it?
200
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:17,480
Well, I...
201
00:09:17,505 --> 00:09:19,639
Oh, give me a break, Malcolm.
I'm in mourning.
202
00:09:19,664 --> 00:09:21,015
What?
203
00:09:22,635 --> 00:09:24,744
Okay, Grover, you ever heard the phrase
204
00:09:24,769 --> 00:09:26,604
- "he got game"?
- Sure.
205
00:09:26,629 --> 00:09:28,360
Well, you ain't got none.
206
00:09:30,530 --> 00:09:33,276
But I promised your mom I'd
turn you into a player,
207
00:09:33,301 --> 00:09:34,698
and that's what I'm gonna do.
208
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:39,162
But I can't dribble, I
can't shoot, I can't pass.
209
00:09:39,353 --> 00:09:42,166
Don't forget you suck
at rebounding, too.
210
00:09:42,566 --> 00:09:44,630
I know. If I have to play,
211
00:09:44,655 --> 00:09:46,698
I'm just gonna go out there
and embarrass myself.
212
00:09:46,723 --> 00:09:49,381
Oh, oh, oh, don't worry.
Look, I got a plan.
213
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:52,490
You remember when Jorge tried to get
214
00:09:52,515 --> 00:09:54,331
the extra orange slice at practice
215
00:09:54,356 --> 00:09:56,026
and you slapped his hand away?
216
00:09:56,207 --> 00:09:57,848
Not on my watch.
217
00:10:00,526 --> 00:10:04,813
That's why I'm gonna
make you the enforcer.
218
00:10:05,268 --> 00:10:06,780
The enforcer?
219
00:10:06,908 --> 00:10:09,026
That kind of sounds like a superhero.
220
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:10,487
It is.
221
00:10:10,586 --> 00:10:13,238
But instead of saving people, your job
222
00:10:13,329 --> 00:10:14,896
is to elbow them,
223
00:10:15,113 --> 00:10:18,118
foul and scare the crap
out of other kids.
224
00:10:19,856 --> 00:10:21,223
Am I allowed to do that?
225
00:10:21,248 --> 00:10:23,458
Up to six times a game.
226
00:10:24,906 --> 00:10:26,206
Okay, so here.
227
00:10:26,281 --> 00:10:27,836
Pretend I'm on the other team
228
00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:29,463
and we're fighting for a rebound.
229
00:10:29,594 --> 00:10:30,761
Show me what you got.
230
00:10:30,786 --> 00:10:31,819
Come on.
231
00:10:36,071 --> 00:10:38,339
And your mom said I wasn't a good coach.
232
00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:49,685
Oh, look at Grover out there.
233
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:52,786
He looks so grown-up in his uniform.
234
00:10:53,116 --> 00:10:55,238
Mommy loves you, snuggle bug!
235
00:10:55,345 --> 00:10:57,199
Mommy!
236
00:10:58,687 --> 00:11:00,225
I'm so nervous for him.
237
00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:02,124
It feels like opening
night at the school play.
238
00:11:02,149 --> 00:11:03,427
My leaves were shaking so bad,
239
00:11:03,452 --> 00:11:05,210
they had to add a line
about the gusty wind.
240
00:11:07,972 --> 00:11:09,172
Come on, bring it in.
241
00:11:09,318 --> 00:11:10,796
All right, guys.
242
00:11:10,866 --> 00:11:12,999
We're gonna go out there,
we're gonna play hard,
243
00:11:13,024 --> 00:11:15,325
we're gonna have fun,
but most importantly,
244
00:11:15,462 --> 00:11:17,803
show good sportsmanship.
245
00:11:18,316 --> 00:11:20,296
- Go Lions!
- Roar!
246
00:11:20,321 --> 00:11:21,681
Let's get it.
247
00:11:21,810 --> 00:11:23,378
Whoa, whoa, hey, Grover.
248
00:11:23,403 --> 00:11:26,205
All that good sportsmanship
stuff doesn't apply to you.
249
00:11:26,230 --> 00:11:27,563
Got it.
250
00:11:27,588 --> 00:11:30,790
Hey-hey, and, uh, here's
your mouth guard.
251
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,282
Safety first.
252
00:11:32,439 --> 00:11:34,277
Yours, not theirs.
253
00:11:35,489 --> 00:11:37,424
Thanks, Coach Calvin.
254
00:11:40,384 --> 00:11:42,585
Oh, my God, Grover's starting.
255
00:11:43,084 --> 00:11:45,122
That's my son! Number 12!
256
00:11:45,147 --> 00:11:46,791
That's my snuggly son!
257
00:11:48,231 --> 00:11:50,399
Wow, yesterday Grover was the water boy.
258
00:11:50,424 --> 00:11:51,686
Today he's in the starting five.
259
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,554
I mean, at this rate,
tomorrow he's gonna be...
260
00:11:56,018 --> 00:11:57,496
Foul, number 12!
261
00:11:58,304 --> 00:12:00,263
In jail.
262
00:12:10,526 --> 00:12:12,759
- Dude.
- Yo, what's up, man?
263
00:12:13,117 --> 00:12:16,486
Don't tell me you guilted
Mom into baking you a pie?
264
00:12:16,699 --> 00:12:18,155
I sure did.
265
00:12:18,258 --> 00:12:20,992
Revenge is a dish best served à la mode.
266
00:12:22,535 --> 00:12:25,538
Okay, Marty, I'm off to
clean your apartment.
267
00:12:26,591 --> 00:12:27,831
Thanks, Mama.
268
00:12:27,898 --> 00:12:30,710
Now, you sure you're
okay doing this for me?
269
00:12:30,735 --> 00:12:32,920
Oh, anything for my baby.
270
00:12:32,945 --> 00:12:35,280
Great. Make sure you use the pine scent,
271
00:12:35,305 --> 00:12:37,175
because the lemon tickles my nose.
272
00:12:38,345 --> 00:12:40,760
Okay, let me see if I have any.
273
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:43,263
I should've took his ass to the woods.
274
00:12:45,892 --> 00:12:47,394
You know what? That's it, man.
275
00:12:47,419 --> 00:12:48,558
You're taking this too far.
276
00:12:48,583 --> 00:12:49,784
I'm telling Mama the truth.
277
00:12:49,809 --> 00:12:52,203
Well, would a piece of this
delicious blueberry pie
278
00:12:52,228 --> 00:12:53,306
change your mind?
279
00:12:53,331 --> 00:12:55,782
Do you seriously think you
can buy me off with pie?
280
00:12:56,016 --> 00:12:58,029
What about tickets to the Lakers game?
281
00:13:00,636 --> 00:13:02,825
Mama got you Laker tickets?
282
00:13:04,265 --> 00:13:07,288
Not yet, but if I can figure
out how to make myself cry,
283
00:13:07,318 --> 00:13:11,167
it'll be Jack Nicholson,
you, and me on the floor.
284
00:13:12,710 --> 00:13:14,644
Okay, I'm off.
285
00:13:15,001 --> 00:13:16,673
- Here come the tears.
- Aah!
286
00:13:16,698 --> 00:13:20,300
Oh, oh...
287
00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,441
Oh, I know.
288
00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:26,724
It's okay, baby bro.
289
00:13:26,811 --> 00:13:28,712
Slinky's in heaven now.
290
00:13:32,159 --> 00:13:33,940
What the hell is going on out there?
291
00:13:33,965 --> 00:13:35,608
Grover's out of control.
292
00:13:36,007 --> 00:13:37,485
Okay, uh...
293
00:13:37,510 --> 00:13:39,564
so we got off to a
pretty aggressive start,
294
00:13:39,589 --> 00:13:41,490
but I think he's beginning to calm down.
295
00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:44,700
I mean, he hasn't fouled
anybody in almost two minutes.
296
00:13:45,383 --> 00:13:46,869
Dave, it's a time-out.
297
00:13:49,390 --> 00:13:51,415
Okay. Come on!
298
00:13:53,005 --> 00:13:55,064
Look, maybe Calvin called the time-out
299
00:13:55,089 --> 00:13:57,071
to tell Grover to keep
his elbows to himself.
300
00:13:58,544 --> 00:14:00,382
Foul, number 12!
301
00:14:03,262 --> 00:14:04,863
That's it. I'm talking to Calvin.
302
00:14:04,888 --> 00:14:06,306
Okay, I'm coming, too.
303
00:14:06,331 --> 00:14:08,723
Even the parents on our team
look like they want to kill us.
304
00:14:09,923 --> 00:14:11,356
Come on, ref!
305
00:14:11,432 --> 00:14:12,869
That kid traveled so much,
306
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:15,565
it's like he's going to see his
real daddy for the weekend.
307
00:14:19,156 --> 00:14:20,256
Calvin?
308
00:14:20,316 --> 00:14:22,684
What the hell? Grover's
acting like an animal!
309
00:14:22,798 --> 00:14:24,232
I know, right?
310
00:14:25,278 --> 00:14:28,781
Forget California, I may be
the best coach in the world.
311
00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:32,345
I asked you to teach him
how to play basketball,
312
00:14:32,370 --> 00:14:33,784
not turn him into a goon.
313
00:14:33,809 --> 00:14:36,556
Hey, you told me to toughen him up.
314
00:14:36,581 --> 00:14:38,182
Plus, we're winning.
315
00:14:38,207 --> 00:14:41,165
He might not even have to
use his last two fouls.
316
00:14:42,865 --> 00:14:44,967
Foul, number 12!
317
00:14:47,118 --> 00:14:48,763
Okay, one foul.
318
00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:52,860
So you're not gonna do
anything about this?
319
00:14:52,885 --> 00:14:55,520
No. Not in the middle of a game.
320
00:14:55,545 --> 00:14:57,398
Fine. Then I will.
321
00:15:00,273 --> 00:15:01,525
Hey!
322
00:15:03,151 --> 00:15:04,991
Oh, God, this is my mom
at the school play
323
00:15:05,016 --> 00:15:06,574
all over again.
324
00:15:06,965 --> 00:15:09,360
You want to teach my
kid how to play dirty?
325
00:15:09,452 --> 00:15:12,580
Good luck doing it without this.
326
00:15:20,862 --> 00:15:24,924
She does know we have a whole
rack of balls right here, right?
327
00:15:29,123 --> 00:15:30,691
This pie is delicious.
328
00:15:30,716 --> 00:15:31,719
Yeah, I know.
329
00:15:31,744 --> 00:15:33,624
I always thought the secret
ingredient was love.
330
00:15:33,649 --> 00:15:36,338
Turns out, it's guilt.
331
00:15:37,775 --> 00:15:38,807
Hey, boys.
332
00:15:38,832 --> 00:15:40,009
- Hey.
- Hey, Mama.
333
00:15:40,034 --> 00:15:41,083
What's that?
334
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:43,542
A gift for you. I think I finally
335
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:45,401
figured out something that will make up
336
00:15:45,426 --> 00:15:46,830
for what I did to you.
337
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:48,502
Oh, Mom, you shouldn't have.
338
00:15:48,527 --> 00:15:49,972
Although, given your savage betrayal,
339
00:15:49,997 --> 00:15:51,493
you probably should have.
340
00:15:52,499 --> 00:15:53,749
All right, well,
341
00:15:53,774 --> 00:15:55,141
open it, baby.
342
00:15:55,166 --> 00:15:56,682
Okay, well, whatever it is,
343
00:15:56,707 --> 00:15:57,948
hopefully it'll make me forget
344
00:15:57,973 --> 00:16:01,044
the memory of my precious... snake!
345
00:16:03,173 --> 00:16:07,777
Yeah. See, I realized
that there's no amount
346
00:16:07,802 --> 00:16:10,674
of cooking and cleaning that
could replace your snake.
347
00:16:10,806 --> 00:16:14,849
But maybe one that's twice as big could.
348
00:16:15,459 --> 00:16:17,540
- Ooh-ooh!
- Ah!
349
00:16:17,565 --> 00:16:19,867
Aw! Do you love it?
350
00:16:19,892 --> 00:16:21,418
I know I do.
351
00:16:21,443 --> 00:16:22,707
Ooh.
352
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:25,910
Here, come on, let me put
him around your neck.
353
00:16:25,935 --> 00:16:29,990
Oh, look at him. Oh, look at that, aw...
354
00:16:31,096 --> 00:16:32,827
He's so cute.
355
00:16:33,805 --> 00:16:35,662
Look at him, Mama.
356
00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:38,332
He's so happy, he's about to cry.
357
00:16:40,013 --> 00:16:41,947
He gonna die.
358
00:16:42,359 --> 00:16:44,268
Get it off.
359
00:16:44,293 --> 00:16:46,691
What, wha-what'd you say, baby?
I can't hear you.
360
00:16:46,716 --> 00:16:48,394
Get the snake... get it... get it off.
361
00:16:48,419 --> 00:16:51,566
Get it off? Like, take it
off of your neck? Oh, okay.
362
00:16:51,591 --> 00:16:53,788
Let me hold... You want
me to hold him? Okay.
363
00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:00,988
And that's what you get for
messing with your mama!
364
00:17:01,013 --> 00:17:02,731
You better ask somebody!
365
00:17:05,531 --> 00:17:06,931
So you knew, huh?
366
00:17:06,956 --> 00:17:08,641
Hell yeah, I knew!
367
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,788
I heard you two talking
when I was in the kitchen.
368
00:17:11,926 --> 00:17:13,738
Um, how much did you hear?
369
00:17:13,763 --> 00:17:16,871
- Mmm, about this much!
- Aah!
370
00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:20,540
Selling out your own
mother for a Laker ticket?
371
00:17:20,565 --> 00:17:23,252
You're an even bigger
snake than this one!
372
00:17:24,519 --> 00:17:26,220
Uh-oh, where'd it go?
373
00:17:28,555 --> 00:17:30,300
Aw, hell no!
374
00:17:30,519 --> 00:17:32,761
- I'm moving! I'm moving!
- Go!
375
00:17:36,659 --> 00:17:40,066
Mom, Mom, you should've seen it!
I made the game-winning play!
376
00:17:40,161 --> 00:17:41,854
You scored a basket?
377
00:17:42,006 --> 00:17:45,629
No, I would have had to
touch the ball to do that.
378
00:17:48,483 --> 00:17:50,751
Oh, so you fouled another kid.
379
00:17:50,873 --> 00:17:52,767
Oh, no. He didn't have to.
380
00:17:52,792 --> 00:17:54,235
The best player on their team
381
00:17:54,260 --> 00:17:56,152
was about to score the
game-winning shot,
382
00:17:56,220 --> 00:17:57,687
but then, when he saw Grover,
383
00:17:57,712 --> 00:18:00,861
he threw up an airball and peed himself!
384
00:18:01,744 --> 00:18:04,696
Hey, come on, buddy. Let's go inside.
385
00:18:04,766 --> 00:18:06,876
You should probably shower, and, uh,
386
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,380
I should probably call an attorney.
387
00:18:11,759 --> 00:18:13,693
Well, Calvin, congratulations.
388
00:18:13,761 --> 00:18:15,242
You turned my son into a monster
389
00:18:15,267 --> 00:18:17,516
just so you could win a
stupid basketball game.
390
00:18:17,647 --> 00:18:19,349
I hope you're happy.
391
00:18:19,547 --> 00:18:20,868
When you say it like that,
392
00:18:20,893 --> 00:18:22,587
it sounds like I'm not supposed to be.
393
00:18:22,612 --> 00:18:23,854
Oh!
394
00:18:25,042 --> 00:18:26,776
You're unbelievable.
395
00:18:26,801 --> 00:18:28,110
Look, Gemma.
396
00:18:28,382 --> 00:18:29,939
You said that he had to play.
397
00:18:29,964 --> 00:18:31,899
Well, this is the only
way that he could do it
398
00:18:31,924 --> 00:18:33,291
without embarrassing himself.
399
00:18:33,316 --> 00:18:34,824
Oh, really?
400
00:18:34,888 --> 00:18:36,473
So this was just about protecting him
401
00:18:36,498 --> 00:18:39,285
and not your precious winning streak?
402
00:18:39,310 --> 00:18:41,205
Why can't it be both?
403
00:18:44,005 --> 00:18:45,603
Calvin, this was supposed to be
404
00:18:45,628 --> 00:18:49,235
about teaching Grover the
value of being on a team.
405
00:18:49,339 --> 00:18:50,940
I trusted you.
406
00:18:50,965 --> 00:18:52,332
Think about it.
407
00:18:52,357 --> 00:18:56,204
If Grover would've went out
there and played terrible,
408
00:18:56,315 --> 00:19:00,098
and we lost, all the other
kids would have blamed him.
409
00:19:00,267 --> 00:19:02,376
And then he would never
want to be on a team again.
410
00:19:02,401 --> 00:19:03,634
Is that what you want?
411
00:19:03,848 --> 00:19:05,521
Well, obviously not.
412
00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:07,979
But I also don't want
kids wetting their pants
413
00:19:08,004 --> 00:19:09,691
when he walks into a room.
414
00:19:11,253 --> 00:19:12,609
Look, I was just trying
415
00:19:12,634 --> 00:19:14,079
to give him a role on the team
416
00:19:14,104 --> 00:19:16,126
where he could feel good about himself.
417
00:19:16,151 --> 00:19:18,266
Yeah, but there's nothing
to feel good about
418
00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:20,285
if he's not playing the right way.
419
00:19:22,137 --> 00:19:24,497
All right. Okay.
420
00:19:24,522 --> 00:19:26,166
I hear you.
421
00:19:26,621 --> 00:19:29,169
Maybe I took it a little too far.
422
00:19:30,260 --> 00:19:31,672
I apologize.
423
00:19:31,697 --> 00:19:33,264
Thank you.
424
00:19:33,438 --> 00:19:34,872
But you got to admit,
425
00:19:34,897 --> 00:19:37,430
he was having a good time out there.
426
00:19:37,876 --> 00:19:39,790
He did have a pretty
big smile on his face.
427
00:19:39,815 --> 00:19:40,829
Yeah.
428
00:19:40,854 --> 00:19:44,032
So I guess I have to give
you credit for that.
429
00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:47,313
Well, you don't vote yourself
best coach in California
430
00:19:47,338 --> 00:19:49,397
for nothing.
431
00:19:50,833 --> 00:19:53,380
I'll tell you what, I'll
keep working with Grover
432
00:19:53,405 --> 00:19:56,040
on his fundamentals,
bring him up to speed.
433
00:19:56,147 --> 00:19:57,447
Thank you.
434
00:19:57,663 --> 00:20:00,977
And promise me, next
game, no more fouling.
435
00:20:01,002 --> 00:20:02,391
Not a problem.
436
00:20:02,416 --> 00:20:04,454
You don't have to worry
about that at all.
437
00:20:04,479 --> 00:20:06,837
He's been suspended for
the rest of the season.
438
00:20:10,970 --> 00:20:12,587
Hey, Calvin...
439
00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:18,568
I just hit 12 minutes. Personal best.
440
00:20:19,483 --> 00:20:21,804
I've been watching for five seconds.
441
00:20:21,829 --> 00:20:23,432
Personal worst.
442
00:20:24,075 --> 00:20:25,634
All right, come on.
443
00:20:25,659 --> 00:20:26,876
Why don't you give it a try?
444
00:20:26,901 --> 00:20:28,645
Absolutely not.
445
00:20:29,109 --> 00:20:31,315
Calvin, you have the wrong attitude.
446
00:20:31,424 --> 00:20:33,425
It's stop making fun of it
447
00:20:33,450 --> 00:20:34,901
and start making fun
448
00:20:35,083 --> 00:20:36,570
a-with it.
449
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,783
Fine. I'll give it a spin.
450
00:20:46,185 --> 00:20:47,705
Hey, man!
451
00:20:48,333 --> 00:20:49,701
Huh.
452
00:20:49,726 --> 00:20:51,710
That was more fun than I thought.
453
00:20:52,554 --> 00:20:53,921
Snake!
454
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:58,333
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -