1
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,794
Oh, Lord, not today.

2
00:00:16,668 --> 00:00:18,585
Hey, Calvin, greetings...

3
00:00:18,771 --> 00:00:20,085
from the future.

4
00:00:20,656 --> 00:00:22,875
Goodbye... from the now.

5
00:00:23,585 --> 00:00:25,287
Just checking out this sweet ride

6
00:00:25,312 --> 00:00:26,989
to make sure it's safe for Grover.

7
00:00:27,325 --> 00:00:29,335
Have you fallen on your ass yet?

8
00:00:29,722 --> 00:00:31,085
Not yet.

9
00:00:31,110 --> 00:00:33,232
Oh, well, then, looks like
I have a few minutes.

10
00:00:34,419 --> 00:00:37,638
Now, I always test out Grover's
toys before I give them to him.

11
00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:39,271
I've swallowed every size Lego there is

12
00:00:39,296 --> 00:00:40,958
to make sure they're
not a choking hazard.

13
00:00:40,983 --> 00:00:43,060
Turns out, some of them are.

14
00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:46,472
Dave, I got to get to work,
so if you're gonna fall,

15
00:00:46,497 --> 00:00:48,114
you know, let's make it happen.

16
00:00:48,591 --> 00:00:49,800
Actually,

17
00:00:49,825 --> 00:00:51,771
I'm starting to get the
hang of this thing.

18
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:54,010
It's a lot easier than it looks!

19
00:00:54,035 --> 00:00:56,138
Whoa, whoa! Dave, watch out!

20
00:00:56,163 --> 00:00:57,841
Oh!

21
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,302
Hey, man, are you all right?

22
00:01:03,384 --> 00:01:04,880
Yes, but...

23
00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:06,950
Did you see that idiot out there?

24
00:01:06,975 --> 00:01:09,271
Yeah, that speeding car almost hit him.

25
00:01:11,043 --> 00:01:12,615
Are you sure you're okay?

26
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,425
Yeah, I'm-I'm fine, thanks.

27
00:01:14,495 --> 00:01:17,810
Well, good. Well, look, I'm
late for work, but, um,

28
00:01:17,853 --> 00:01:19,490
this was totally worth it.

29
00:01:25,170 --> 00:01:30,348
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -

30
00:01:30,585 --> 00:01:31,864
Oh, hey, Dave.

31
00:01:31,889 --> 00:01:33,717
Hey, Calvin. I need your signature.

32
00:01:33,742 --> 00:01:35,263
I told you, I am not autographing

33
00:01:35,288 --> 00:01:37,372
that picture of us at Benihanas.

34
00:01:38,536 --> 00:01:40,060
I'm not here for that.

35
00:01:40,085 --> 00:01:42,252
But FYI, everyone else
at the table signed it.

36
00:01:43,194 --> 00:01:44,456
Look, I'm sorry, Dave.

37
00:01:44,481 --> 00:01:45,982
I don't want Calvin signing anything.

38
00:01:46,007 --> 00:01:48,763
I'm still trying to get him
out of that damn record club.

39
00:01:49,171 --> 00:01:50,775
Three years and 20 more CDs,

40
00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:52,377
and I'm Scot-free.

41
00:01:54,445 --> 00:01:56,481
Well, you know, actually,
after yesterday,

42
00:01:56,506 --> 00:01:58,503
I decided to do something
about all the speeders.

43
00:01:58,528 --> 00:02:00,312
It turns out there's
a new navigation app

44
00:02:00,337 --> 00:02:02,632
that's sending cars down our
street to beat the traffic.

45
00:02:02,782 --> 00:02:04,591
You know, I use done
of those things once.

46
00:02:04,616 --> 00:02:06,146
The stupid thing told me

47
00:02:06,171 --> 00:02:08,497
to drive through someone’s backyard.

48
00:02:09,204 --> 00:02:11,989
But on the plus side, I
saved about three minutes.

49
00:02:12,489 --> 00:02:13,700
Well, you know,

50
00:02:13,725 --> 00:02:16,169
I did some research, and the
city will put in a speed bump

51
00:02:16,194 --> 00:02:18,371
if I get a signature from
everyone on the street.

52
00:02:18,396 --> 00:02:19,615
You're my first stop.

53
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,958
And your last one.

54
00:02:23,459 --> 00:02:25,802
A white guy going
door-to-door for signatures

55
00:02:25,827 --> 00:02:27,046
in this neighborhood?

56
00:02:27,217 --> 00:02:28,966
Nice knowing you, Dave.

57
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:31,318
What Calvin is trying to say...

58
00:02:31,343 --> 00:02:34,458
People around here are a little
suspicious of getting scammed.

59
00:02:34,552 --> 00:02:36,771
You know? Dwayne Wilson
thought he was signing up

60
00:02:36,796 --> 00:02:39,335
for free HBO and ended
up in the Marines.

61
00:02:40,387 --> 00:02:42,433
Poor bastard just made colonel.

62
00:02:45,099 --> 00:02:46,927
Well, if door-to-door

63
00:02:46,952 --> 00:02:48,521
isn't gonna work, what should I do?

64
00:02:48,546 --> 00:02:50,138
Well, first, if you want people

65
00:02:50,163 --> 00:02:52,705
to sign anything around here,

66
00:02:52,730 --> 00:02:54,769
- you got to earn their trust.
- Mm.

67
00:02:54,794 --> 00:02:55,989
Well, how do I do that?

68
00:02:56,014 --> 00:02:58,302
Well, I mean, they're
all individuals, Dave.

69
00:02:58,464 --> 00:03:01,638
For example, Trey likes
to talk about sports

70
00:03:01,663 --> 00:03:05,122
and how paternity tests
can be wrong sometimes.

71
00:03:06,314 --> 00:03:09,656
And Old Miss Kim like stalking
about Bingo, her garden

72
00:03:09,681 --> 00:03:12,622
and how her milkshake brings
all the boys to the yard.

73
00:03:14,349 --> 00:03:15,957
And whatever you do,

74
00:03:15,982 --> 00:03:19,725
do not ask Little Hatchet
how she got her nickname.

75
00:03:20,044 --> 00:03:22,452
Or why she got a divorce, but they're

76
00:03:22,477 --> 00:03:24,888
- basically the same story.
- Basically the same story.

77
00:03:28,016 --> 00:03:30,497
Man, it sounds like I've bit
off more than I can chew.

78
00:03:30,522 --> 00:03:32,997
This is that Lego
fireman all over again.

79
00:03:33,804 --> 00:03:35,716
Dave, just invite everybody over,

80
00:03:35,741 --> 00:03:37,569
give them some food, and they'll sign.

81
00:03:37,659 --> 00:03:39,792
It'll only work if you do one thing.

82
00:03:40,542 --> 00:03:42,955
Feed 'em catfish and cornbread.

83
00:03:43,333 --> 00:03:44,726
Why that?

84
00:03:44,751 --> 00:03:46,955
Because that's what I'm in the mood for.

85
00:03:56,426 --> 00:03:57,705
Hey, G-man,

86
00:03:57,730 --> 00:03:59,253
what are you doing?

87
00:03:59,278 --> 00:04:01,454
Just playing soccer in my head.

88
00:04:01,806 --> 00:04:03,705
Hey, I just scored!

89
00:04:05,256 --> 00:04:07,341
Well, I used to pretend
like that in my head.

90
00:04:07,366 --> 00:04:09,151
Except instead of soccer, it was girls.

91
00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:12,599
Yeah, but you never scored.

92
00:04:14,130 --> 00:04:16,005
So, why are you just pretending to play

93
00:04:16,030 --> 00:04:17,788
when you got this whole lawn right here?

94
00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:20,063
Since my dad almost got hit by a car,

95
00:04:20,088 --> 00:04:22,037
my mom won't let me
play near the street.

96
00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:23,419
She's being crazy.

97
00:04:23,504 --> 00:04:25,989
No, I just think she's being
cautious and protective.

98
00:04:26,076 --> 00:04:28,331
No, she's being crazy. Watch.

99
00:04:29,622 --> 00:04:30,762
- Whoa!
- Grover,

100
00:04:30,787 --> 00:04:33,205
I told you to stay on the porch!

101
00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:37,455
Wow, Gemma. You got here
before your voice did.

102
00:04:38,427 --> 00:04:39,690
Sorry.

103
00:04:39,715 --> 00:04:41,778
I'm just so worried about
Grover getting hurt.

104
00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:44,247
You know, with all the cars
zipping up and down the street.

105
00:04:44,272 --> 00:04:45,458
Yeah, we get it.

106
00:04:45,483 --> 00:04:47,616
Our mom was afraid of
a lot of stuff, too.

107
00:04:47,641 --> 00:04:49,861
We spent half our childhood
locked up like Grover here

108
00:04:49,886 --> 00:04:51,896
in porch jail.

109
00:04:52,110 --> 00:04:54,636
Yeah, she put us in there
for earthquakes, pit bulls,

110
00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:56,068
that guy with the ice cream truck

111
00:04:56,093 --> 00:04:58,095
that never had any ice cream.

112
00:05:02,673 --> 00:05:05,415
Well, hey, we are going to
check out the Pasadena fair.

113
00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,292
Why don't you let us
take Grover with us?

114
00:05:07,317 --> 00:05:09,372
Can I, Mom, please?

115
00:05:09,562 --> 00:05:11,372
I don't know.

116
00:05:11,397 --> 00:05:13,622
Do you promise not to
do anything dangerous?

117
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,083
Oh, absolutely.

118
00:05:15,108 --> 00:05:16,633
I guarantee we will have

119
00:05:16,658 --> 00:05:19,839
a no-fun, danger-free,
super-boring time.

120
00:05:21,318 --> 00:05:24,580
Uh, I'm not sure I want to go anymore.

121
00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,830
Hey, zip it, kid, we're
trying to break you out.

122
00:05:34,114 --> 00:05:36,501
I haven't seen this much
of the block in one place

123
00:05:36,526 --> 00:05:39,122
since Colonel Wilson got home from Iraq.

124
00:05:40,519 --> 00:05:42,695
And everyone is loving my food.

125
00:05:42,747 --> 00:05:46,122
No one's even noticed that the
catfish is actually tofu.

126
00:05:46,384 --> 00:05:48,809
Uh-uh. This ain't right.

127
00:05:52,179 --> 00:05:54,268
Calvin, you were right.
This was the perfect way

128
00:05:54,293 --> 00:05:56,528
to get the whole street on
board for the speed bump.

129
00:05:56,553 --> 00:05:58,424
What can I say, Dave?
These are my people.

130
00:05:58,624 --> 00:06:00,178
I love them, and they love me.

131
00:06:00,203 --> 00:06:02,205
Out of the way, jackass.

132
00:06:04,123 --> 00:06:06,068
- Who's that?
- Oh, that's Walter.

133
00:06:06,093 --> 00:06:08,264
That's the jerk that lives
on the other side of me.

134
00:06:08,289 --> 00:06:10,756
Oh, man, I've never seen him
outside of the house before.

135
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,700
Yeah, because he only
comes out at night,

136
00:06:12,725 --> 00:06:14,788
like bats and vampires.

137
00:06:15,130 --> 00:06:18,538
Well, now that everybody's here,
let's... let's get started.

138
00:06:18,563 --> 00:06:22,288
Okay, uh, if I could have
everyone's attention, please.

139
00:06:23,169 --> 00:06:26,873
An easel? Is he gonna talk about
a speed bump or paint one?

140
00:06:28,289 --> 00:06:29,812
Dave loves giving presentations.

141
00:06:29,947 --> 00:06:31,427
One time I asked him why,

142
00:06:31,452 --> 00:06:33,663
and he answered with a
ten-minute presentation.

143
00:06:34,773 --> 00:06:37,412
Okay, now, I don't want to
take too much of your time,

144
00:06:37,437 --> 00:06:39,163
so I'll just get right to it.

145
00:06:41,925 --> 00:06:43,492
Pasadena.

146
00:06:45,555 --> 00:06:48,428
Jewel of the San Gabriel Valley.

147
00:06:48,565 --> 00:06:50,717
Established in 1874, but, you know,

148
00:06:50,742 --> 00:06:52,623
oddly, not incorporated until...

149
00:06:52,648 --> 00:06:55,163
How long is this gonna take?

150
00:06:55,901 --> 00:06:58,400
I have plans with a gentleman tonight,

151
00:06:58,425 --> 00:07:01,663
and I'm hoping he's not
gonna be a gentleman.

152
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,131
Yeah.

153
00:07:04,156 --> 00:07:07,693
And I got a cable guy coming
between now and Friday.

154
00:07:08,793 --> 00:07:11,205
Hey, hey, Dave, you-you may
want to speed this up.

155
00:07:11,311 --> 00:07:13,096
Yeah, got it. Okay, uh,

156
00:07:13,186 --> 00:07:15,275
skipping the Industrial Revolution,

157
00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:18,705
the sinking of the Titanic,
uh, World War I...

158
00:07:21,769 --> 00:07:23,205
The automobile.

159
00:07:24,426 --> 00:07:25,905
I'm out.

160
00:07:25,930 --> 00:07:27,705
It's not worth the free food.

161
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:29,356
I can come over earlier.

162
00:07:29,732 --> 00:07:31,092
Got to go.

163
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:34,163
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. All
right, hold up, everybody.

164
00:07:34,188 --> 00:07:35,358
Come on now.

165
00:07:35,383 --> 00:07:38,037
I want to walk out on Dave
just as much as you do,

166
00:07:38,612 --> 00:07:41,084
but he actually has
something important to say.

167
00:07:41,109 --> 00:07:44,417
More important than this sweet
piece of meat right here?

168
00:07:47,502 --> 00:07:49,621
Okay, all right, guys.

169
00:07:50,016 --> 00:07:51,434
Look, we've all seen how fast

170
00:07:51,459 --> 00:07:53,670
these cars have been
going down our streets.

171
00:07:53,695 --> 00:07:55,547
And I think it's time we
do something about it.

172
00:07:55,572 --> 00:07:56,976
- That's true.
- You got a point.

173
00:07:57,001 --> 00:07:58,983
- That is true.
- Hey, come on out here, Dave.

174
00:07:59,008 --> 00:08:00,047
Come on now. Come on now.

175
00:08:00,072 --> 00:08:01,359
Thank you, Calvin, and, look,

176
00:08:01,384 --> 00:08:02,829
I'll-I'll cut right to the chase.

177
00:08:03,752 --> 00:08:06,110
- To quote Henry Ford...
- Oh, you know what?

178
00:08:06,135 --> 00:08:08,702
To quote Calvin Butler, if
you sign, you can leave.

179
00:08:14,670 --> 00:08:17,162
So, how's that deep-fried pickle?

180
00:08:17,487 --> 00:08:19,913
- It's pretty disgusting.
- Um,

181
00:08:20,425 --> 00:08:22,707
some things should not be
battered and put on a stick.

182
00:08:24,163 --> 00:08:26,113
Ooh, deep-fried butter.

183
00:08:29,508 --> 00:08:30,754
- Whoa!
- Oh.

184
00:08:30,779 --> 00:08:32,964
Can we go on that roller coaster?

185
00:08:32,989 --> 00:08:34,619
Uh, sorry, little man.
We promised your mom

186
00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:35,993
we wouldn't do anything dangerous.

187
00:08:36,018 --> 00:08:38,412
And we already pushed our
luck with the petting zoo.

188
00:08:38,437 --> 00:08:40,265
That pygmy goat tried to eat my jacket.

189
00:08:41,510 --> 00:08:43,582
Hey, how about we go
on the Ferris wheel?

190
00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:46,914
Ferris wheel? That's
the lamest ride here.

191
00:08:46,939 --> 00:08:48,839
Well, we can go back
to the bounce house.

192
00:08:48,864 --> 00:08:51,222
And if you promise to be careful,

193
00:08:51,247 --> 00:08:53,580
this time we’ll let you jump.

194
00:08:54,306 --> 00:08:57,091
Fine, we'll go on the
stupid Ferris wheel.

195
00:08:57,116 --> 00:08:59,080
But you guys are boring.

196
00:09:01,447 --> 00:09:03,830
That kid's not as cute as he used to be.

197
00:09:05,688 --> 00:09:07,342
Thank you.

198
00:09:07,367 --> 00:09:08,910
Oh, thank you so much.

199
00:09:08,966 --> 00:09:10,580
- Yeah, good.
- Oh, here you go.

200
00:09:10,949 --> 00:09:12,830
Now, you sure this not for the Marines?

201
00:09:13,167 --> 00:09:14,785
Hmm.

202
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,387
You'd be a lot safer joining the Marines

203
00:09:17,412 --> 00:09:19,574
than going over to Miss Kim's tonight.

204
00:09:21,377 --> 00:09:23,727
I know. Pray for me.

205
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:29,146
Hey, thanks for backing me up, Calvin.

206
00:09:29,171 --> 00:09:30,839
Everyone's signing the petition.

207
00:09:30,864 --> 00:09:32,402
Well, nothing’s more important to me

208
00:09:32,427 --> 00:09:34,081
than the safety of our neighborhood.

209
00:09:34,106 --> 00:09:36,064
I'll do anything to protect these kids.

210
00:09:36,089 --> 00:09:37,743
Oh, hey, Walter. If you could just sign

211
00:09:37,768 --> 00:09:39,161
on the last spot right there.

212
00:09:39,186 --> 00:09:41,582
Oh, yeah, I'd... I-I'd be happy to

213
00:09:41,607 --> 00:09:45,652
if Calvin finally agrees to move
his fence off of my property.

214
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:48,823
Well, Dave, we tried.

215
00:10:01,069 --> 00:10:03,071
Hey, Calvin, what was that all about?

216
00:10:03,337 --> 00:10:06,872
That fool thinks my fence is
six inches onto his property.

217
00:10:07,402 --> 00:10:10,496
- I s it?
- Whose side are you on, Dave?

218
00:10:12,184 --> 00:10:14,273
Calvin, Walter's the
last signature we need

219
00:10:14,298 --> 00:10:15,683
to get the speed bump.

220
00:10:15,708 --> 00:10:17,839
Look, that fence has been
there since I moved in,

221
00:10:17,864 --> 00:10:19,343
and I'm not moving it now.

222
00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:22,667
Plus, if I give in to him
once, it won't stop there.

223
00:10:22,867 --> 00:10:26,523
I'm telling you, Dave,
kindness is a slippery slope.

224
00:10:27,483 --> 00:10:29,872
Well, okay, Calvin, that's not true.

225
00:10:29,897 --> 00:10:32,837
Oh, yes, it is. I said
hello to you once,

226
00:10:32,862 --> 00:10:34,559
and look at us now.

227
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,182
Okay, well, if you won't move,

228
00:10:37,207 --> 00:10:38,955
then how are we gonna
get the speed bump?

229
00:10:38,980 --> 00:10:42,157
Oh, that's easy. Gonna
wait for him to die.

230
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:45,308
Hey, besides, I got you’ll
those other signatures.

231
00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:46,988
Yeah, which mean absolutely nothing

232
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:48,822
if we don't get Walter's.

233
00:10:49,026 --> 00:10:50,593
Well, I'm sorry, Dave.

234
00:10:50,633 --> 00:10:52,291
If it makes you feel any better,

235
00:10:52,316 --> 00:10:54,666
I'll sign the picture of us at Benihana.

236
00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:56,958
It's too late.

237
00:10:56,983 --> 00:10:58,291
I already forged it.

238
00:11:02,906 --> 00:11:04,212
Ha-ha!

239
00:11:04,403 --> 00:11:06,510
Wow! What a view!

240
00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:08,439
Yeah, check this out, little man.

241
00:11:08,464 --> 00:11:10,455
You can see everything from up here.

242
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,743
Like how much fun they're
having over there

243
00:11:12,842 --> 00:11:14,455
on the roller coaster!

244
00:11:14,733 --> 00:11:16,169
Are you kidding?

245
00:11:16,194 --> 00:11:18,079
That doesn't lookalike much fun at all.

246
00:11:19,230 --> 00:11:21,150
We are totally coming
back here tomorrow.

247
00:11:21,427 --> 00:11:23,049
- Whoa!
- Whoa!

248
00:11:23,074 --> 00:11:24,416
- Whoa!
- Hey, now, hey!

249
00:11:24,441 --> 00:11:25,572
What just happened?

250
00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:27,064
Uh, I don't know.

251
00:11:27,089 --> 00:11:29,178
Hey, maybe they're just
letting more riders on.

252
00:11:29,203 --> 00:11:30,421
Uh, or...

253
00:11:30,446 --> 00:11:31,992
maybe the motor just caught on fire,

254
00:11:32,017 --> 00:11:34,268
and the operator tried to
put it out with his beer!

255
00:11:34,979 --> 00:11:36,400
Seriously?

256
00:11:36,425 --> 00:11:38,713
Hey, hey, look, it's okay, little man.

257
00:11:38,738 --> 00:11:40,752
All right? Everything is gonna be fine.

258
00:11:40,777 --> 00:11:42,182
It's not fine.

259
00:11:42,207 --> 00:11:43,439
It's awesome!

260
00:11:43,464 --> 00:11:45,734
- What? Oh!
- Finally, some real fun.

261
00:11:45,759 --> 00:11:47,848
- Whoa!
- No!

262
00:11:51,539 --> 00:11:52,986
Calvin Butler.

263
00:11:53,443 --> 00:11:54,997
What is wrong with you?

264
00:11:55,022 --> 00:11:56,588
I would say nothing, but I'm sure

265
00:11:56,613 --> 00:11:58,248
you're about to tell me different.

266
00:11:59,810 --> 00:12:01,638
You're damn right I am.

267
00:12:01,663 --> 00:12:03,081
Dave just told me what happened.

268
00:12:03,106 --> 00:12:04,775
I cannot believe after
all of these years

269
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,198
you're still fighting
over that stupid fence.

270
00:12:07,444 --> 00:12:10,198
Why does Walter care so
much about six inches?

271
00:12:10,223 --> 00:12:12,034
Well, why do you care so much?

272
00:12:12,059 --> 00:12:13,705
It's six inches.

273
00:12:15,413 --> 00:12:16,932
Is it about the money?

274
00:12:16,957 --> 00:12:19,596
I mean, it can't be that
expensive to move a fence.

275
00:12:19,621 --> 00:12:21,557
No, it's not about that.
It's about the principle.

276
00:12:21,582 --> 00:12:23,041
And it's like my father always said:

277
00:12:23,066 --> 00:12:25,838
"A man's fence is a man's fence."

278
00:12:26,936 --> 00:12:28,666
When did your father say that?

279
00:12:28,691 --> 00:12:30,870
Whose side are you on, Tina?

280
00:12:31,811 --> 00:12:33,494
Is your pride more important

281
00:12:33,519 --> 00:12:36,189
than the safety of the
kids in this neighborhood?

282
00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:39,338
Nah, babe. Don't try to make
this whole speed bump thing

283
00:12:39,363 --> 00:12:40,949
about safety.

284
00:12:43,443 --> 00:12:44,574
Okay...

285
00:12:45,071 --> 00:12:46,549
when Malcolm and Marty were little,

286
00:12:46,574 --> 00:12:49,359
you did everything in your
power to keep them safe.

287
00:12:49,676 --> 00:12:51,852
You even used to make
Marty wear a helmet

288
00:12:51,877 --> 00:12:53,700
just to play hide-and-seek.

289
00:12:54,054 --> 00:12:56,245
I made him wear that thing all the time.

290
00:12:56,270 --> 00:12:58,284
The kid had no balance.

291
00:12:58,309 --> 00:12:59,916
Okay.

292
00:12:59,941 --> 00:13:02,422
When Malcolm said that he was old enough

293
00:13:02,447 --> 00:13:05,491
to take his bike to the park,
you followed him in your car

294
00:13:05,516 --> 00:13:07,387
just to make sure he got there safely.

295
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:08,729
I had to.

296
00:13:08,754 --> 00:13:10,947
He was pulling Marty in a wagon.

297
00:13:11,187 --> 00:13:13,575
That boy fell out every two blocks.

298
00:13:16,848 --> 00:13:18,066
Come on, babe.

299
00:13:18,283 --> 00:13:19,545
You love Grover.

300
00:13:20,808 --> 00:13:23,575
Doesn't he deserve to be just
as safe as our boys were?

301
00:13:25,369 --> 00:13:26,824
Yeah, I guess.

302
00:13:28,191 --> 00:13:30,236
That's my big papa bear.

303
00:13:30,261 --> 00:13:33,075
Taking care of all the little cubs.

304
00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:35,640
Yeah, you know me, huh?

305
00:13:35,665 --> 00:13:37,825
Always looking out for
the neighborhood kids.

306
00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:39,112
Mmm.

307
00:13:39,137 --> 00:13:40,624
- Oh. You know what?
- What?

308
00:13:40,649 --> 00:13:42,260
That gives me an idea. What?

309
00:13:42,285 --> 00:13:45,182
I can underpay them to move the fence.

310
00:13:48,621 --> 00:13:51,076
Yeah!

311
00:13:52,488 --> 00:13:54,860
Whoa, whoa, whoa! You have got
to cut that out, little man.

312
00:13:54,885 --> 00:13:57,228
You have got to stop.

313
00:13:57,584 --> 00:14:00,866
This rocking is not helping that
deep-fried pizza stay down.

314
00:14:02,364 --> 00:14:04,721
What? When did you eat that?

315
00:14:04,746 --> 00:14:06,991
When you guys were in the bathroom.

316
00:14:07,964 --> 00:14:09,269
You two are no fun.

317
00:14:09,294 --> 00:14:11,492
You're just as bad as my mom.

318
00:14:11,674 --> 00:14:14,103
Hey, look, don't be
so hard on her, okay?

319
00:14:14,128 --> 00:14:15,956
She just wants to keep you safe.

320
00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:18,505
Why? I'm not a baby.

321
00:14:18,530 --> 00:14:20,416
Yeah, I know. The only reason

322
00:14:20,441 --> 00:14:22,525
your mom is so overprotective

323
00:14:22,624 --> 00:14:24,932
is because of how much
she cares about you.

324
00:14:24,957 --> 00:14:27,307
Yeah, I-if you see a kid
having too much fun,

325
00:14:27,332 --> 00:14:29,367
that means his mom doesn't love him.

326
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:33,627
So, that kid in front
of the roller coaster

327
00:14:33,652 --> 00:14:35,617
with his hands up in the air...

328
00:14:35,765 --> 00:14:38,617
You mean the one eating that
corn dog with no shirt on?

329
00:14:38,695 --> 00:14:41,617
Yeah. His mama don't
even know he's here.

330
00:14:43,002 --> 00:14:45,617
Wow. That's sad.

331
00:14:45,682 --> 00:14:46,939
Exactly.

332
00:14:47,008 --> 00:14:50,213
So every time your mom
tells you, stop running,

333
00:14:50,238 --> 00:14:52,455
tie your shoes, or be careful,

334
00:14:52,569 --> 00:14:55,643
what she's really saying
is she loves you.

335
00:14:56,477 --> 00:14:58,367
I guess I'm pretty lucky.

336
00:14:58,392 --> 00:15:00,064
You sure are.

337
00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:02,799
Which means she's gonna be
super mad when she finds out

338
00:15:02,824 --> 00:15:04,534
you got me stuck up here.

339
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,549
Uh, no, she won't, no, she won't.

340
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,682
Because we're fine. Right, Marty?

341
00:15:09,707 --> 00:15:11,187
Yeah, yeah. We-We're-we're totally safe.

342
00:15:11,212 --> 00:15:12,474
This kind of thing happens all the time.

343
00:15:13,895 --> 00:15:16,518
- Oh, thank you, Jesus!
- Ah, we are gonna live!

344
00:15:18,873 --> 00:15:21,002
Thanks so much for doing this, Calvin.

345
00:15:21,027 --> 00:15:22,635
Did Tina change your mind?

346
00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:25,158
No. I was always gonna do it.

347
00:15:25,183 --> 00:15:27,367
I just needed to know
how committed you were.

348
00:15:29,342 --> 00:15:31,002
Well, you're doing the right thing,

349
00:15:31,027 --> 00:15:33,029
and I, for one, appreciate it.

350
00:15:33,237 --> 00:15:34,885
Do you appreciate it enough

351
00:15:34,910 --> 00:15:37,117
to give me six inches on your property?

352
00:15:37,653 --> 00:15:39,220
Sorry, Calvin.

353
00:15:39,245 --> 00:15:40,846
It's like my dad used to say:

354
00:15:40,945 --> 00:15:43,367
"A man's fence is a man's fence."

355
00:15:46,594 --> 00:15:49,159
Damn. You're not Miss Kim.

356
00:15:50,644 --> 00:15:52,510
Look, Walter, I need to talk to you.

357
00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:54,363
Oh, wha-what are you here to steal now?

358
00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:55,999
My Wi-Fi password?

359
00:15:56,024 --> 00:15:57,573
I'll give you a hint.

360
00:15:57,598 --> 00:16:00,159
It's "Calvin" and four other letters.

361
00:16:02,172 --> 00:16:03,604
Look, man,

362
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,719
I just came over here to say
if you sign Dave's petition,

363
00:16:06,744 --> 00:16:08,401
I'll move the damn fence.

364
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:11,409
Great. I was waiting for you to die.

365
00:16:12,641 --> 00:16:14,581
Walter, I really appreciate it.

366
00:16:14,606 --> 00:16:18,784
Just sign right under where Trey
wrote "Not joining Marines."

367
00:16:19,735 --> 00:16:21,389
Okay.

368
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:24,024
But actually, since it
took you this long,

369
00:16:24,049 --> 00:16:26,117
maybe I should charge
you a little interest.

370
00:16:26,142 --> 00:16:28,456
How about we move that
fence a full foot?

371
00:16:28,481 --> 00:16:29,996
What?

372
00:16:30,021 --> 00:16:31,987
I got a full foot for you.

373
00:16:32,012 --> 00:16:33,867
You know... Oh, okay,
all right, all right.

374
00:16:33,892 --> 00:16:35,151
Calvin, calm down.

375
00:16:35,176 --> 00:16:36,612
We need that speed bump. Please.

376
00:16:37,676 --> 00:16:39,745
All right. But this ain't for you.

377
00:16:39,770 --> 00:16:41,659
This is for the kids.

378
00:16:41,725 --> 00:16:43,854
Well, in that case, let's
move it two feet...

379
00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:45,940
One for me and one for the kids.

380
00:16:47,148 --> 00:16:48,617
Oh, to hell with you!

381
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,284
You know what, I can't believe
you’re trying to pull this crap,

382
00:16:51,309 --> 00:16:54,117
after all the stuff I let you
slide with over the years.

383
00:16:54,142 --> 00:16:55,706
What have you let slide?

384
00:16:55,731 --> 00:16:57,136
Are you kidding me?

385
00:16:57,363 --> 00:17:00,456
Do you know how many
of your old roof tiles

386
00:17:00,481 --> 00:17:02,393
have flown over into my yard?

387
00:17:02,418 --> 00:17:04,791
And what about the
floodlights you put up?

388
00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:08,017
They're just shining bright
all night in my bedroom.

389
00:17:08,042 --> 00:17:09,862
Every time I get up to
go to the bathroom,

390
00:17:09,887 --> 00:17:11,868
it feels like a prison break.

391
00:17:13,924 --> 00:17:15,651
Not my problem.

392
00:17:15,676 --> 00:17:17,846
A-Actually, Walter, it is.

393
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:19,918
According to the Pasadena Zoning Manual,

394
00:17:19,943 --> 00:17:23,207
those are both residential
C-1 violations.

395
00:17:23,232 --> 00:17:24,277
So?

396
00:17:24,302 --> 00:17:26,000
So, if the city inspector finds out,

397
00:17:26,025 --> 00:17:29,202
you're staring down the barrel
of some pretty hefty fines.

398
00:17:29,683 --> 00:17:30,814
He is?

399
00:17:31,131 --> 00:17:32,824
You are.

400
00:17:34,477 --> 00:17:37,611
Yeah, you know, and now that I’m
looking around, there's no way

401
00:17:37,636 --> 00:17:40,077
that this half-saddle door
threshold is up to code.

402
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:43,461
And don't even get me started
on the enclosed breezeway,

403
00:17:43,486 --> 00:17:46,565
which is clearly within five
feet of a multi-person dwelling.

404
00:17:48,660 --> 00:17:51,492
Do not get him started on breezeways.

405
00:17:52,933 --> 00:17:55,679
Well, hold on, now, we don't
have to get into all of that.

406
00:17:55,704 --> 00:17:57,589
You're right, we don't.

407
00:17:57,614 --> 00:17:59,651
Because you're gonna sign that petition,

408
00:17:59,676 --> 00:18:02,418
and we're gonna put up a speed
bump to protect these kids.

409
00:18:02,443 --> 00:18:04,228
Are we clear?

410
00:18:04,282 --> 00:18:06,367
Crystal, baby.

411
00:18:10,412 --> 00:18:12,414
Fine. You win.

412
00:18:14,289 --> 00:18:16,604
But that catfish at your party sucked.

413
00:18:18,095 --> 00:18:20,284
Give me my pen.

414
00:18:22,327 --> 00:18:24,740
Damn, Dave, that was gangsta, man.

415
00:18:24,765 --> 00:18:27,003
Yeah, you want to hear
something even more gangsta?

416
00:18:27,028 --> 00:18:28,948
I just made all that stuff up.

417
00:18:29,188 --> 00:18:31,163
I don't even know what a breezeway is.

418
00:18:38,386 --> 00:18:39,961
This is so great.

419
00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:42,926
That speed bump is really gonna
slow people down around here.

420
00:18:42,951 --> 00:18:46,200
Yeah, and it's short enough that
I could just zip around it.

421
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,949
Mom, does this mean I
can play outside again?

422
00:18:49,974 --> 00:18:52,063
Yes. But not near the street,

423
00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:55,493
not after dark, and never
without supervision.

424
00:18:55,740 --> 00:18:57,393
I love you, too.

425
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,063
Can I go inside and play on my iPad?

426
00:19:01,088 --> 00:19:02,703
Okay.

427
00:19:04,225 --> 00:19:06,950
What was I thinking? He
could get carpal tunnel.

428
00:19:09,592 --> 00:19:11,245
Look at that speed bump.

429
00:19:11,452 --> 00:19:13,062
Isn't she beautiful?

430
00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:16,094
Yeah. It reminds me of you.

431
00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:17,512
- Mm.
- Black,

432
00:19:17,537 --> 00:19:18,766
curvy...

433
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:21,742
and makes me want to slow
down and take my time.

434
00:19:21,767 --> 00:19:23,242
Oh...

435
00:19:24,269 --> 00:19:27,242
Oh, now I'm gonna feel guilty
every time I run over it.

436
00:19:28,252 --> 00:19:32,008
But, seriously, you did a
good thing for the community.

437
00:19:32,033 --> 00:19:33,641
You should be proud of yourself.

438
00:19:33,666 --> 00:19:35,547
Well, I'm glad you feel that way.

439
00:19:35,572 --> 00:19:37,492
Because I've decided...

440
00:19:39,690 --> 00:19:41,492
I'm not stopping here.

441
00:19:46,718 --> 00:19:48,241
What do you think?

442
00:19:48,266 --> 00:19:50,367
You're running for city council?

443
00:19:50,466 --> 00:19:51,773
- Yeah.
- You're kidding, right?

444
00:19:51,798 --> 00:19:53,408
Nope. You know, getting this done

445
00:19:53,433 --> 00:19:55,130
really woke up my sense of civic duty.

446
00:19:55,256 --> 00:19:58,325
Plus, I've always wanted to
see my face on a button.

447
00:19:59,739 --> 00:20:01,698
So, if you win,

448
00:20:01,723 --> 00:20:04,843
won't that mean you'll be super
busy doing government stuff

449
00:20:04,868 --> 00:20:08,445
and won't have the time to
hang around here as much?

450
00:20:08,602 --> 00:20:10,075
I'm afraid so.

451
00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:11,915
- Hmm.
- Well, in that case,

452
00:20:11,940 --> 00:20:13,273
you got my vote.

453
00:20:13,862 --> 00:20:19,313
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -