1 00:00:06,148 --> 00:00:07,714 Whoo! All right, man, 2 00:00:07,739 --> 00:00:09,156 make that one. 3 00:00:09,181 --> 00:00:11,145 Easy. What's the score again? 4 00:00:11,170 --> 00:00:14,704 You have letters H-O-R-S, and I have none. 5 00:00:18,312 --> 00:00:19,645 All right. 6 00:00:20,242 --> 00:00:21,875 I'm-a head home. You done, too? 7 00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:23,412 No, I'm-a hang around for a little bit. 8 00:00:23,437 --> 00:00:25,137 All right. Hit me up for one last shot. 9 00:00:25,162 --> 00:00:26,891 Splash time. 10 00:00:34,445 --> 00:00:35,678 Hey, what's up, little man? 11 00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,036 Yo, what's up? 12 00:00:37,061 --> 00:00:38,195 Want to shoot around? 13 00:00:38,220 --> 00:00:39,488 Nah, man. 14 00:00:39,513 --> 00:00:41,652 But I do want those shoes. 15 00:00:42,944 --> 00:00:46,160 Okay, well, put them on your Christmas list, 16 00:00:46,185 --> 00:00:48,606 and maybe Santa Claus will you bring you some. 17 00:00:49,637 --> 00:00:51,736 I don't believe in no Santa. 18 00:00:51,761 --> 00:00:54,584 But I do believe you're gonna give me those shoes. 19 00:00:57,981 --> 00:01:00,294 I'm not giving you my shoes. 20 00:01:00,363 --> 00:01:03,434 Plus, I outweigh you by a hundred pounds. 21 00:01:06,389 --> 00:01:09,515 Well, you're a little big-boned, so it's starting to even out. 22 00:01:11,685 --> 00:01:13,451 Now... 23 00:01:13,614 --> 00:01:15,228 you ready to give me those shoes? 24 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:18,540 You know what? 25 00:01:19,002 --> 00:01:20,438 Fine. 26 00:01:21,829 --> 00:01:23,963 I can't believe this bunch of... 27 00:01:23,988 --> 00:01:26,149 Oh, my God, is that Santa Claus? 28 00:01:30,071 --> 00:01:33,151 Okay, it's time to turn up the intensity. 29 00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:35,738 Squat down and up. 30 00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,192 Work those glutes. 31 00:01:37,217 --> 00:01:39,258 Push that butt back. Push those... 32 00:01:39,283 --> 00:01:42,725 Aw, come on, Calvin. You know, get up. 33 00:01:42,750 --> 00:01:44,553 You promised you would exercise with me. 34 00:01:45,248 --> 00:01:49,359 Believe you me, baby, you got my heart rate up plenty. 35 00:01:50,788 --> 00:01:52,481 Oh, hey, Malcolm. 36 00:01:52,506 --> 00:01:54,296 You just getting back from the park with Dave? 37 00:01:54,321 --> 00:01:55,887 Uh, yeah, yeah. 38 00:01:55,912 --> 00:01:58,045 If he ever beats you in basketball, 39 00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:00,872 we're gonna have to put you up for adoption. 40 00:02:01,842 --> 00:02:03,624 Well, you don't have to worry about that. 41 00:02:03,649 --> 00:02:05,131 So I'm-a go take a shower. 42 00:02:05,156 --> 00:02:07,775 Hold on, hold on. What happened to your shoes? 43 00:02:10,286 --> 00:02:11,871 You know, I lost them. 44 00:02:11,896 --> 00:02:14,548 Don't tell me you lost them in a game to Dave. 45 00:02:15,004 --> 00:02:16,936 We're gonna have to lie about this as a family. 46 00:02:16,961 --> 00:02:17,842 Yeah. 47 00:02:17,867 --> 00:02:20,588 All right, look, it's no big deal... relax... but... 48 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,373 - I just got robbed down at the park. - Whoa, whoa. 49 00:02:22,398 --> 00:02:24,242 - What?! - You got robbed? 50 00:02:24,267 --> 00:02:26,311 Look, guys, calm down. I'm fine. 51 00:02:26,336 --> 00:02:28,137 Oh, my God, thank God you're okay. 52 00:02:28,162 --> 00:02:29,772 Hey, it's cool, Ma. Okay. 53 00:02:29,797 --> 00:02:31,296 Who did this, man? 54 00:02:31,321 --> 00:02:32,442 Who attacked you? 55 00:02:32,467 --> 00:02:33,937 Hey, look, it's no big deal. 56 00:02:33,962 --> 00:02:36,249 It was just some punks down at the park. 57 00:02:36,274 --> 00:02:38,516 What you mean it's no big deal? 58 00:02:38,541 --> 00:02:41,338 We're Butlers, right? You mess with one of us, 59 00:02:41,363 --> 00:02:43,051 - you mess with all of us. - That's right. 60 00:02:43,076 --> 00:02:45,655 You know what, Tina? Where you keep my fighting shirt? 61 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:48,075 - No, hold on. - 'Cause I'll beat up this whole town. 62 00:02:48,100 --> 00:02:49,985 - I know you will. I know you will. - You know I will. 63 00:02:50,010 --> 00:02:53,283 Just relax, okay? There's no need to fight. I will take care of it. 64 00:02:53,308 --> 00:02:54,170 You will? 65 00:02:54,195 --> 00:02:56,150 Yeah. 'Cause-'cause-'cause I'm a Butler. 66 00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:58,100 - That's right. - A-And Butlersdon't play. 67 00:02:58,125 --> 00:02:58,787 Damn right. 68 00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:00,092 You damn right. Now... 69 00:03:00,117 --> 00:03:02,271 Yeah. Give it to me. 70 00:03:02,296 --> 00:03:03,681 Yeah! 71 00:03:03,706 --> 00:03:05,061 That's right. 72 00:03:06,151 --> 00:03:07,941 Was he messing with me? 73 00:03:12,685 --> 00:03:17,060 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 74 00:03:17,592 --> 00:03:19,577 Thanks for helping us install these cameras. 75 00:03:19,602 --> 00:03:22,244 After what happened to Malcolm, we're gonna feel so much safer. 76 00:03:22,269 --> 00:03:24,834 Yeah, well, these babies are top of the line. 77 00:03:24,859 --> 00:03:26,449 You can monitor them from your phone. 78 00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:29,039 They have night vision and zoom. 79 00:03:29,130 --> 00:03:31,730 You know... between this tool belt 80 00:03:31,755 --> 00:03:33,822 and all these new high-tech gadgets, 81 00:03:34,286 --> 00:03:35,790 I kind of feel like Batman. 82 00:03:36,805 --> 00:03:38,214 Really? 83 00:03:38,239 --> 00:03:40,109 'Cause you look like one of the Village People. 84 00:03:41,959 --> 00:03:43,585 No, no. 85 00:03:43,650 --> 00:03:45,337 I'm Batman. 86 00:03:47,378 --> 00:03:48,760 Dad. 87 00:03:48,935 --> 00:03:51,459 Why are you wearing your fighting shirt? 88 00:03:51,989 --> 00:03:53,389 I'm going down to that park, 89 00:03:53,414 --> 00:03:55,347 and I'm-a find out who jacked Malcolm. 90 00:03:55,372 --> 00:03:56,805 Well, h-hold on. 91 00:03:56,830 --> 00:03:58,864 I'm-a come with you. I can help. 92 00:03:59,060 --> 00:04:00,319 How are you gonna help? 93 00:04:00,344 --> 00:04:02,543 Back home I was part of the Neighborhood Watch. 94 00:04:02,568 --> 00:04:05,467 Now, I don't want to brag, but... 95 00:04:05,838 --> 00:04:07,898 a couple years ago, I single-handedly caught 96 00:04:07,923 --> 00:04:10,494 the elusive Kalamazoo Basil Bandit. 97 00:04:10,916 --> 00:04:12,522 Spoiler alert: 98 00:04:12,773 --> 00:04:13,947 it was a deer. 99 00:04:14,447 --> 00:04:16,013 What? 100 00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:18,104 Spoiler alert: I don't care. 101 00:04:18,262 --> 00:04:19,789 Look, besides, 102 00:04:19,814 --> 00:04:21,780 I don't need you... I got Abe and Tommy. 103 00:04:21,805 --> 00:04:23,727 - Who are they? - A couple of real OGs 104 00:04:23,752 --> 00:04:25,747 that keep their ears to the streets. 105 00:04:25,772 --> 00:04:28,437 OGs? They're a couple of old farts 106 00:04:28,462 --> 00:04:30,511 that play chess in the park all day. 107 00:04:31,260 --> 00:04:33,238 They also do tai chi. 108 00:04:34,231 --> 00:04:36,832 O-Okay, well, I-I'm-a, I'm-a come with you. 109 00:04:36,857 --> 00:04:37,684 Why? 110 00:04:37,709 --> 00:04:38,908 As backup. 111 00:04:39,255 --> 00:04:41,055 Look, we're a couple of fathers 112 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:43,157 who both want to keep this neighborhood safe. 113 00:04:43,322 --> 00:04:44,555 Also... 114 00:04:44,580 --> 00:04:46,035 I'm Batman. 115 00:04:49,273 --> 00:04:50,439 Hey, are the cameras working? 116 00:04:50,475 --> 00:04:51,566 - Mm-hmm. - Yep. We can see everything 117 00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:52,739 right here on the TV. 118 00:04:52,764 --> 00:04:54,030 Oh, thank you, Marty. 119 00:04:54,055 --> 00:04:55,831 No, no problem. I love electronics. 120 00:04:55,856 --> 00:04:56,785 You know, I like to pretend like 121 00:04:56,810 --> 00:04:58,572 I'm the tech guy on a covert team 122 00:04:58,597 --> 00:05:00,530 with a cool nickname like Virus 123 00:05:00,555 --> 00:05:02,425 or... Firewall. 124 00:05:03,892 --> 00:05:05,563 How about Nerd Man? 125 00:05:07,311 --> 00:05:09,652 Okay, Captain Bed Wetter. 126 00:05:11,153 --> 00:05:12,434 That was our secret. 127 00:05:12,459 --> 00:05:14,693 Hey, man, don't mess with Firewall. 128 00:05:14,718 --> 00:05:16,347 I won't. 129 00:05:16,697 --> 00:05:18,401 Mm, now I got to pee. 130 00:05:20,215 --> 00:05:22,325 So, now do you feel safer? 131 00:05:22,350 --> 00:05:23,962 Here, yeah. 132 00:05:23,987 --> 00:05:25,840 But I'm still worried about walking around the neighborhood 133 00:05:25,865 --> 00:05:27,765 or taking Grover to the park. 134 00:05:27,790 --> 00:05:29,339 Oh, you should take a self-defense class. 135 00:05:29,364 --> 00:05:31,198 Oh, please. She doesn't need that. 136 00:05:31,223 --> 00:05:33,662 I got you. See, back in the '90s, 137 00:05:33,687 --> 00:05:35,649 when this area was a little rougher, 138 00:05:35,674 --> 00:05:38,074 I developed my own self-defense system. 139 00:05:38,099 --> 00:05:39,406 Oh, no. 140 00:05:39,847 --> 00:05:42,254 No, not "Tina kwon do" again. 141 00:05:42,512 --> 00:05:44,203 Please. You loved it. 142 00:05:44,228 --> 00:05:46,062 We used to train together all the time. 143 00:05:46,087 --> 00:05:47,929 We did not train together! 144 00:05:48,861 --> 00:05:50,697 I put on homemade protective gear, 145 00:05:50,722 --> 00:05:52,236 and you beat the crap out of me. 146 00:05:53,170 --> 00:05:55,607 It was a bonding experience. 147 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:59,489 See, I figured out a way to defend myself 148 00:05:59,514 --> 00:06:01,856 using things that I just had in my purse. 149 00:06:01,881 --> 00:06:03,020 Will you teach me? 150 00:06:03,049 --> 00:06:04,872 Of course I will. 151 00:06:05,668 --> 00:06:07,005 Marty, suit up. 152 00:06:07,030 --> 00:06:09,764 No, no, Mama. I just ate. 153 00:06:09,789 --> 00:06:12,379 Well, if you want, I could demonstrate without the pads. 154 00:06:12,404 --> 00:06:13,626 All right, fine. 155 00:06:13,722 --> 00:06:15,441 Okay. Oh, oh, and, uh, 156 00:06:15,466 --> 00:06:18,657 wear a extra pillow, 'cause we're going hard. 157 00:06:20,081 --> 00:06:21,434 This is exciting. 158 00:06:21,458 --> 00:06:23,297 You know, I've never done anything like this before. 159 00:06:23,323 --> 00:06:25,107 On that deer case, I worked solo. 160 00:06:26,364 --> 00:06:27,923 Must've been nice. 161 00:06:29,020 --> 00:06:30,466 Hey, hey, fellas. 162 00:06:30,535 --> 00:06:31,801 Calvin. 163 00:06:31,909 --> 00:06:33,995 Ain't seen you down here in a minute. 164 00:06:34,482 --> 00:06:36,614 Hey, guys, I'm Calvin's friend Dave. 165 00:06:36,768 --> 00:06:38,604 Didn't nobody ask who you were. 166 00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:41,552 And don't nobody care. 167 00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:44,335 He's right, Dave. 168 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:45,807 They really don't. 169 00:06:47,192 --> 00:06:49,535 Look, fellas, I don't know if you heard, 170 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,870 but Malcolm got mugged down here the other day. 171 00:06:51,895 --> 00:06:53,516 Yeah, we saw it. 172 00:06:53,541 --> 00:06:55,516 - Check. - You did? 173 00:06:55,541 --> 00:06:57,141 W-Well, who did it? 174 00:06:57,513 --> 00:06:59,637 It was Jamaal and them. 175 00:07:00,335 --> 00:07:02,329 You mean those little kids over there? 176 00:07:02,769 --> 00:07:05,020 Are you kidding me? This is embarrassing. 177 00:07:05,045 --> 00:07:07,708 Malcolm got rolled by a bunch of little kids? 178 00:07:08,005 --> 00:07:10,201 Well, it looks like I'm-a have to go over there 179 00:07:10,226 --> 00:07:12,056 and teach those little kids a lesson. 180 00:07:12,831 --> 00:07:14,998 I didn't even have to wear my fighting shirt. 181 00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:17,455 O-Okay, well... just, Calvin, 182 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,501 don't do something you're gonna regret. 183 00:07:19,675 --> 00:07:21,521 Eh, it's too late for that, Dave. 184 00:07:21,546 --> 00:07:23,085 I already brought you. 185 00:07:23,546 --> 00:07:25,497 Yo, Jamaal! 186 00:07:29,936 --> 00:07:33,121 I can't believe those little kids jumped me like that. 187 00:07:33,146 --> 00:07:35,098 It was like watching a bunch of baby lions 188 00:07:35,123 --> 00:07:37,113 take down a wildebeest. 189 00:07:37,777 --> 00:07:40,247 Where were you, anyway? You were supposed to have my back. 190 00:07:40,272 --> 00:07:41,549 Well, I was right there. 191 00:07:41,574 --> 00:07:43,582 I was offering them my shoes instead of yours. 192 00:07:44,580 --> 00:07:46,606 No one wants your Skechers, Dave. 193 00:07:47,841 --> 00:07:49,874 I'm letting you know something... this ain't over. 194 00:07:49,899 --> 00:07:51,989 We need to teach those little kids a lesson. 195 00:07:52,014 --> 00:07:54,991 'Cause around here, nobody messes with Calvin Butler. 196 00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:56,292 Aah! 197 00:07:57,795 --> 00:07:59,062 I stepped on a acorn. 198 00:07:59,572 --> 00:08:00,914 Come-come over here. 199 00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:02,089 Give me your shoulder, your shoulder. 200 00:08:02,114 --> 00:08:03,822 Okay. All right. 201 00:08:08,808 --> 00:08:10,509 What the hell, son? 202 00:08:13,011 --> 00:08:14,878 How'd you let yourself get robbed 203 00:08:14,903 --> 00:08:16,689 by a bunch of little kids? 204 00:08:18,676 --> 00:08:20,367 Why do you only got one shoe on? 205 00:08:20,392 --> 00:08:23,114 Because I got robbed by a bunch of little kids! 206 00:08:25,252 --> 00:08:27,020 But at least I fought back. 207 00:08:27,045 --> 00:08:29,648 Yeah, and look what it got you... no shoes, just like me. 208 00:08:29,673 --> 00:08:31,027 Look... 209 00:08:31,604 --> 00:08:33,632 you might want to count again, Malcolm. 210 00:08:33,657 --> 00:08:34,907 I kept one. 211 00:08:36,162 --> 00:08:37,737 I'm going over to Jamaal's house 212 00:08:37,762 --> 00:08:39,648 and I'm giving his parents a piece of my mind. 213 00:08:39,673 --> 00:08:42,507 Oh, no, no, please don't do that, Pop. That never works out. 214 00:08:42,603 --> 00:08:45,332 - What are you talking about? - Fifth grade basketball. 215 00:08:45,357 --> 00:08:46,963 When I wasn't getting enough playing time, 216 00:08:46,988 --> 00:08:48,842 you went and gave my coach "a piece of your mind." 217 00:08:48,867 --> 00:08:50,333 I ended up benched for the whole season. 218 00:08:50,419 --> 00:08:52,043 Well, that's 'cause Sister Mary Agnes 219 00:08:52,068 --> 00:08:53,242 couldn't see talent. 220 00:08:54,793 --> 00:08:57,398 Look, Pop, when you go talk to people, 221 00:08:57,423 --> 00:08:59,796 it somehow always turns into a fight. 222 00:09:00,875 --> 00:09:02,340 Look, son, 223 00:09:02,365 --> 00:09:05,332 sometimes a man has to fight for his family. 224 00:09:05,667 --> 00:09:08,625 See, you wouldn't know that because you don't have kids. 225 00:09:08,964 --> 00:09:10,764 Trust me, Malcolm... 226 00:09:11,091 --> 00:09:13,511 this is what good parenting is. 227 00:09:13,642 --> 00:09:15,575 Now, you might not see it now, 228 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:17,544 but I-I'm really trying to help this kid. 229 00:09:17,678 --> 00:09:19,462 You know, the proof is in the pudding. 230 00:09:19,487 --> 00:09:21,070 I raised a son 231 00:09:21,095 --> 00:09:22,828 with a good head on his shoulders. 232 00:09:23,441 --> 00:09:25,784 Hey, thank you, Pop. 233 00:09:25,809 --> 00:09:27,499 I was talking about Marty. 234 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,234 Okay, so I'm-a show you how we protect ourselves 235 00:09:33,259 --> 00:09:34,491 in the hood. 236 00:09:34,516 --> 00:09:35,982 Marty, get in here! 237 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:44,974 Okay, so, 238 00:09:44,999 --> 00:09:46,365 whenever I'm in the streets, 239 00:09:46,390 --> 00:09:50,287 I always carry three self-defense essentials. 240 00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:53,150 Weapon number one. 241 00:09:53,219 --> 00:09:54,769 A comb? 242 00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:58,216 It may look like a comb... 243 00:09:59,072 --> 00:10:01,365 because it is a comb, but... 244 00:10:02,639 --> 00:10:04,037 in the right hands, 245 00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:07,192 stab, stab, stab, stab, stab! 246 00:10:10,396 --> 00:10:11,628 See? 247 00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:13,987 I'm safer, and, bonus... 248 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,790 I look fresh. 249 00:10:16,502 --> 00:10:17,746 Eh? 250 00:10:17,893 --> 00:10:19,589 Marty, are you okay? 251 00:10:19,614 --> 00:10:21,626 Aw, he's fine. Okay, so... 252 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,816 weapon number two. 253 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:26,659 Seasoning salt? 254 00:10:26,684 --> 00:10:29,997 Cheaper than pepper spray and really good on chicken. 255 00:10:30,774 --> 00:10:32,608 - Close your eyes, baby. - Huh? 256 00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:34,894 Shake! Shake, shake, shake, shake! 257 00:10:35,193 --> 00:10:36,275 Oh! 258 00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:37,466 Aah! That burns! 259 00:10:37,491 --> 00:10:39,271 It burns so bad. 260 00:10:45,792 --> 00:10:48,808 Now, third and most lethal weapon. 261 00:10:49,189 --> 00:10:50,822 A whiskey bag? 262 00:10:50,906 --> 00:10:53,531 Full of spare change. 263 00:10:54,457 --> 00:10:56,590 Now, to the untrained eye, you know, 264 00:10:56,615 --> 00:10:58,818 I'm just an alcoholic 265 00:10:59,387 --> 00:11:01,887 - on my way to the Coinstar. - Mm-hmm. 266 00:11:03,465 --> 00:11:05,675 But to the unsuspecting predator? 267 00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:07,520 Ka-ching! Ka-ching, ka-ching! 268 00:11:07,545 --> 00:11:09,864 Ka-ching! 269 00:11:17,246 --> 00:11:18,895 You ready to try? 270 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:19,872 Uh, I think so. 271 00:11:19,897 --> 00:11:21,530 Okay, girl. All right. 272 00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:24,489 So, you're walking down the street. 273 00:11:30,455 --> 00:11:33,389 Okay, and an assailant approaches you. 274 00:11:33,710 --> 00:11:35,275 What do you do? 275 00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:37,082 - Uh, I guess I would whack him - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 276 00:11:37,107 --> 00:11:40,657 - A couple times here - Mm-hmm. 277 00:11:40,682 --> 00:11:42,160 And then maybe a... 278 00:11:42,185 --> 00:11:45,230 a tappity-tap-tap here. 279 00:11:46,134 --> 00:11:48,487 I'm so sorry, Marty. Are you okay? 280 00:11:48,512 --> 00:11:50,446 Honestly, anything's better than the salt. 281 00:11:50,471 --> 00:11:51,637 Oh. 282 00:11:51,662 --> 00:11:53,285 - Come on, Gemma. - Okay. 283 00:11:53,310 --> 00:11:55,918 - This is street warfare, okay? - Okay. 284 00:11:55,943 --> 00:12:00,028 Like, just imagine this man has stolen your purse! 285 00:12:01,444 --> 00:12:02,964 What do you do? 286 00:12:06,068 --> 00:12:08,846 Now give me back my purse, please. 287 00:12:08,871 --> 00:12:10,441 - "Please"? - "Please"? 288 00:12:11,722 --> 00:12:13,879 Yeah, yeah, we... we got a lot of work to do, 289 00:12:13,904 --> 00:12:15,322 or you gonna die. 290 00:12:17,198 --> 00:12:18,559 Thanks for asking me to come along 291 00:12:18,584 --> 00:12:20,251 to talk to Jamaal's parents. 292 00:12:20,276 --> 00:12:22,081 I didn't ask you to come along. 293 00:12:25,349 --> 00:12:28,127 Okay, now, Calvin, remember, 294 00:12:28,156 --> 00:12:30,429 we're talking about someone's child, 295 00:12:30,454 --> 00:12:34,104 so we need to be reasonable, keep our voices at an even tone, 296 00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:36,543 and, no matter what, never be aggressive. 297 00:12:39,157 --> 00:12:41,090 Come on out! I want to talk to you 298 00:12:41,115 --> 00:12:43,432 about your little punk-ass son! 299 00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:47,448 Hey, check it out. 300 00:12:48,008 --> 00:12:50,414 Looks like Gramps got another shoe, huh? 301 00:12:50,439 --> 00:12:54,429 "Gramps"? That's all you got? 302 00:12:54,454 --> 00:12:55,607 - Boy, I'll kill you! - Okay. 303 00:12:55,632 --> 00:12:57,434 Calvin, Calvin. 304 00:12:57,459 --> 00:12:59,058 He's a child. Calm down. 305 00:12:59,181 --> 00:13:01,782 Yeah, man, you better listen to your nurse. 306 00:13:01,807 --> 00:13:02,995 Hmm. 307 00:13:03,890 --> 00:13:06,276 You said that like it hurt my feelings. 308 00:13:06,301 --> 00:13:08,119 My aunt is a nurse. 309 00:13:09,097 --> 00:13:12,675 - Jamaal, where are your parents? - They ain't here. 310 00:13:12,716 --> 00:13:14,667 - Well, where are they? - None of your business. 311 00:13:14,692 --> 00:13:16,258 - Oh, I'll make it my business! You... - Okay. 312 00:13:16,283 --> 00:13:17,893 - Okay, Calvin. - I want the door open. 313 00:13:17,918 --> 00:13:20,721 Careful, old man. You gonna hurt yourself. 314 00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:25,037 This was fun, but I'm gonna go back inside 315 00:13:25,062 --> 00:13:27,971 and watch TV. Night-night, Gramps. 316 00:13:27,996 --> 00:13:30,962 And, nurse, make sure he takes his medicine. 317 00:13:32,338 --> 00:13:34,045 Yeah, well, joke's on you. 318 00:13:34,070 --> 00:13:36,351 My aunt's saved hundreds of lives! 319 00:13:38,715 --> 00:13:40,609 That kid is disrespectful. 320 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:43,719 That's because clearly his parents aren't around. 321 00:13:43,797 --> 00:13:46,810 Which is why it's up to us to teach him a lesson. 322 00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:51,589 H-Hold on, b-by stealing his bike? 323 00:13:51,927 --> 00:13:53,948 It's called good parenting, Dave. 324 00:13:54,603 --> 00:13:56,172 Hey, Jamaal! 325 00:13:56,197 --> 00:13:58,797 If you want your bike back, come find me! 326 00:13:58,822 --> 00:14:00,704 You getting on or what? 327 00:14:00,729 --> 00:14:02,105 Well, just for the record, I do not approve 328 00:14:02,130 --> 00:14:04,227 of this method of conflict resolution. 329 00:14:06,233 --> 00:14:07,718 All right, how do you want to do this? 330 00:14:07,751 --> 00:14:08,918 What, do I grab a hold of your waist? 331 00:14:08,943 --> 00:14:10,442 Shoulders. Shoulders. 332 00:14:17,947 --> 00:14:21,846 Listen, Gemma, I know that you are a sweetheart. 333 00:14:22,294 --> 00:14:24,289 But this is not Kalamazoo! 334 00:14:24,314 --> 00:14:25,576 Okay. Okay. 335 00:14:25,601 --> 00:14:26,892 - Okay?! - Okay. 336 00:14:26,917 --> 00:14:29,413 When someone comes after you, 337 00:14:29,767 --> 00:14:31,478 - you got to go there. - Yeah. 338 00:14:31,503 --> 00:14:32,856 I don't want to hurt Marty. 339 00:14:32,881 --> 00:14:33,888 Screw Marty! 340 00:14:34,824 --> 00:14:36,351 Mama! 341 00:14:36,598 --> 00:14:38,528 He's not Marty. 342 00:14:38,553 --> 00:14:41,242 - He is a bad guy, okay? - Yeah. Okay. 343 00:14:41,267 --> 00:14:43,866 You need to channel your inner anger! 344 00:14:43,891 --> 00:14:44,843 Okay. 345 00:14:44,868 --> 00:14:46,359 What is it gonna take 346 00:14:46,384 --> 00:14:47,982 for you to release 347 00:14:48,007 --> 00:14:50,622 and unleash that inner beast 348 00:14:50,647 --> 00:14:54,405 - and go after this monster? - Uh... 349 00:14:54,430 --> 00:14:56,619 Uh, uh... 350 00:14:56,644 --> 00:14:59,175 I guess if somebody was really trying to hurt Grover. 351 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:00,008 - Good. - Yeah. 352 00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:02,419 - Use that, okay? - Okay. Okay 353 00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:03,542 This sicko... 354 00:15:03,567 --> 00:15:05,107 - Whoa, whoa. - Mm-hmm. 355 00:15:05,132 --> 00:15:06,848 - Is going after your kid. - Yeah. 356 00:15:06,873 --> 00:15:10,007 What are you gonna do to protect your little boy? 357 00:15:10,032 --> 00:15:10,819 Yeah. 358 00:15:10,992 --> 00:15:13,398 Mama, I am your little boy. 359 00:15:14,192 --> 00:15:16,779 Not today, sicko! 360 00:15:16,804 --> 00:15:18,194 Get him! 361 00:15:18,219 --> 00:15:21,038 - Don't hurt my little boy! - Get him! 362 00:15:21,063 --> 00:15:23,492 Yeah! Yeah! 363 00:15:24,110 --> 00:15:27,078 - Yeah! - Gemma, it's me, Marty! 364 00:15:33,658 --> 00:15:35,288 Cool! 365 00:15:35,313 --> 00:15:37,242 Mom knocked out Firewall. 366 00:15:42,956 --> 00:15:44,277 Like that. 367 00:15:46,335 --> 00:15:49,513 That's right. A bike for a shoe. 368 00:15:49,538 --> 00:15:51,966 Holla at ya boy. 369 00:15:52,591 --> 00:15:54,090 You stole his bike? 370 00:15:54,147 --> 00:15:56,827 That's right. Because I care. 371 00:15:58,061 --> 00:16:01,982 Look, the boy's got to learn that actions have consequences. 372 00:16:02,007 --> 00:16:03,440 An eye for an eye. 373 00:16:03,465 --> 00:16:05,615 Yeah, well, Gandhi said, "An eye for an eye 374 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,064 makes the whole world blind." 375 00:16:07,089 --> 00:16:09,788 Well, Gandhi didn't wear $300 sneakers. 376 00:16:12,252 --> 00:16:13,862 Look at you, Pop. 377 00:16:15,276 --> 00:16:18,518 Look who I found outside about to tag your truck. 378 00:16:18,543 --> 00:16:20,009 About to tag my truck? 379 00:16:20,276 --> 00:16:22,345 Malcolm, go get some bail money. I'm going to jail. 380 00:16:22,370 --> 00:16:24,944 - Whoa, no, no, no, no. - No, Pop. No. No, stop. 381 00:16:24,969 --> 00:16:26,491 Calm down. Pop. 382 00:16:27,723 --> 00:16:30,291 Now, just let me talk to him for a minute. 383 00:16:30,434 --> 00:16:32,778 Fine. But after that, he's mine. 384 00:16:33,115 --> 00:16:34,927 Hey, you need backup? 385 00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:36,602 I've been on this case since the beginning. 386 00:16:36,998 --> 00:16:38,520 That was today, Dave. 387 00:16:38,545 --> 00:16:40,966 Yeah, I know. And look, we already caught the perp. 388 00:16:44,433 --> 00:16:46,262 Man, here we go. 389 00:16:46,294 --> 00:16:48,325 Now you're gonna give me a lecture on stealing, right? 390 00:16:48,350 --> 00:16:49,460 No. 391 00:16:49,539 --> 00:16:51,536 I wasn't gonna give you a lecture. 392 00:16:51,561 --> 00:16:53,297 I was gonna tell you I'll go in there 393 00:16:53,322 --> 00:16:54,520 and get your bike back. 394 00:16:54,728 --> 00:16:56,160 What's the catch? 395 00:16:56,185 --> 00:16:57,896 Well, you got to listen to my lecture. 396 00:16:58,791 --> 00:17:00,639 Jamaal, 397 00:17:00,664 --> 00:17:02,547 I know what it's like to be your age. 398 00:17:02,696 --> 00:17:04,711 You're trying to figure out how to be a man. 399 00:17:04,818 --> 00:17:06,476 But in this neighborhood... 400 00:17:06,706 --> 00:17:08,530 well, some people have a different idea 401 00:17:08,555 --> 00:17:10,119 of what that means. 402 00:17:10,399 --> 00:17:12,786 I know what it means. I am a man. 403 00:17:12,811 --> 00:17:14,410 Don't tell me what a man you are. 404 00:17:14,435 --> 00:17:16,168 Your bicycle still has a bell on it. 405 00:17:17,522 --> 00:17:19,096 But, hey, 406 00:17:19,251 --> 00:17:21,072 Jamaal, that's a good thing. 407 00:17:21,097 --> 00:17:22,761 Because it means you still get to choose 408 00:17:22,786 --> 00:17:24,322 what kind of man you want to be. 409 00:17:24,862 --> 00:17:27,274 Now, do you want to be a weak one or a strong one? 410 00:17:27,299 --> 00:17:29,421 I was strong enough to take your shoes. 411 00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:32,850 Oh, you think so? Because the way I remember it, 412 00:17:33,046 --> 00:17:35,380 after half a block I stopped running, 413 00:17:35,405 --> 00:17:37,772 turned around, and gave you my shoes. 414 00:17:38,065 --> 00:17:40,020 That's 'cause you were afraid. 415 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:45,278 Jamaal, I am a grown man, and if I wanted to, 416 00:17:45,303 --> 00:17:48,374 I could've beat the black off of you and your tiny crew. 417 00:17:49,574 --> 00:17:51,140 But I didn't. 418 00:17:51,553 --> 00:17:53,512 Because when I was your age, my father taught me 419 00:17:53,537 --> 00:17:57,005 what makes a man truly strong is helping other people. 420 00:17:57,751 --> 00:17:59,258 You mean Gramps in there? 421 00:17:59,283 --> 00:18:01,526 Yeah. 422 00:18:01,675 --> 00:18:05,577 I know his methods may seem a little old-school, 423 00:18:05,896 --> 00:18:08,370 but my father is the strongest man that I know. 424 00:18:15,490 --> 00:18:16,924 I wonder what Malcolm's saying 425 00:18:16,949 --> 00:18:18,849 to that little thuglet out there. 426 00:18:21,237 --> 00:18:22,912 You know what? We can watch 'em 427 00:18:22,937 --> 00:18:24,973 on the security cam feed on my phone. 428 00:18:26,435 --> 00:18:29,048 Unless you think spying on them would be unethical. 429 00:18:29,968 --> 00:18:33,022 Dave, we stole a kid's bike. 430 00:18:33,474 --> 00:18:35,143 Oh, that ship has sailed. 431 00:18:37,844 --> 00:18:40,478 Jamaal, what my father taught me is that strength doesn't mean 432 00:18:40,503 --> 00:18:42,636 being able to take things from other people. 433 00:18:42,982 --> 00:18:45,056 It means being able to earn them for yourself. 434 00:18:45,469 --> 00:18:47,135 It means doing the right thing 435 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,126 even when the wrong thing looks easier. 436 00:18:49,593 --> 00:18:51,171 And most important, 437 00:18:51,510 --> 00:18:54,903 real strength doesn't come from pushing other people down. 438 00:18:55,157 --> 00:18:56,942 It comes from lifting 'em up. 439 00:18:58,132 --> 00:18:59,389 You give me some speech, 440 00:18:59,414 --> 00:19:01,447 and it's supposed to change my life? 441 00:19:02,678 --> 00:19:04,332 Brother, I wish it could. 442 00:19:05,066 --> 00:19:06,462 But how about this? 443 00:19:06,689 --> 00:19:08,426 I'll meet you at the park every Saturday. 444 00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:10,563 We shoot hoops and we talk 445 00:19:10,588 --> 00:19:12,161 about whatever you want. 446 00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:15,550 That's it. Now, you show up if you like. 447 00:19:16,672 --> 00:19:17,942 Maybe. 448 00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:21,505 All right, cool. Now, like I promised, 449 00:19:21,530 --> 00:19:23,253 I'll go get your bike back. 450 00:19:24,013 --> 00:19:26,178 That's not necessary, son. 451 00:19:27,158 --> 00:19:31,003 Looks like my plan to lure Jamaal over here 452 00:19:31,028 --> 00:19:32,960 so that you could have a talk with him... 453 00:19:32,985 --> 00:19:34,892 has worked. 454 00:19:37,161 --> 00:19:39,262 You can have your bike back. 455 00:19:40,130 --> 00:19:42,872 Um, Dave, are you crying? 456 00:19:46,180 --> 00:19:48,913 It takes a strong man to show his emotions. 457 00:19:49,464 --> 00:19:51,909 Oh, oh, no tears on the fighting shirt. 458 00:19:54,977 --> 00:19:57,218 - Come and get it, boy. - Pop, come on, man. 459 00:19:59,886 --> 00:20:02,034 Gonna dunk on you. 460 00:20:02,059 --> 00:20:02,813 Yeah, right. 461 00:20:02,838 --> 00:20:03,725 You're getting ready to get punked right... 462 00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:05,828 - Man, just shoot... - Aah! 463 00:20:05,853 --> 00:20:08,104 Oh. 464 00:20:08,129 --> 00:20:10,040 Look who's here. The kid showed up. 465 00:20:10,064 --> 00:20:11,384 - Hey, what's up, little man? - Hey, man. 466 00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:13,711 You know what, now we can play a little two-on-two. 467 00:20:13,736 --> 00:20:15,423 - Yeah. - Okay. 468 00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:20,359 All right, Malcolm and I are captains. I choose first. 469 00:20:20,384 --> 00:20:22,130 I'm just saying, I sunk my last three buckets. 470 00:20:22,155 --> 00:20:23,670 I'll take Jamaal. 471 00:20:23,953 --> 00:20:25,488 - My man. - All right, little man, 472 00:20:25,513 --> 00:20:27,899 - you shoot for first. - Got it. 473 00:20:32,623 --> 00:20:35,952 What? Not all black people play basketball. 474 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:40,435 Bet you wish you had chosen me, huh? 475 00:20:43,555 --> 00:20:44,164 Not at all.