1 00:00:00,521 --> 00:00:04,491 - Hey, Gem. - Hey, Tina. got this honey! 2 00:00:02,528 --> 00:00:06,338 Come on in. I'm almost done here. 3 00:00:04,521 --> 00:00:09,531 Wow. This is the first time I've been in the principal's office 4 00:00:06,359 --> 00:00:11,179 without being dragged in screaming, 5 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:13,020 "I didn't do it!" 6 00:00:11,198 --> 00:00:16,198 Hmm. Did you do it? 7 00:00:14,239 --> 00:00:17,589 Every time. 8 00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:20,176 So, where are we headin' to for lunch? 9 00:00:18,214 --> 00:00:21,634 Anywhere but the cafeteria. 10 00:00:20,196 --> 00:00:23,146 There was a food fight last week, 11 00:00:21,663 --> 00:00:26,473 - and I took a taco to the chest. - Ooh. 12 00:00:23,175 --> 00:00:29,945 Sorry to interrupt, Gemma, but there was an incident at lunch. 13 00:00:26,854 --> 00:00:31,634 Oh, no. How many tacos are missing, 14 00:00:29,973 --> 00:00:33,263 and how many kids were hurt? 15 00:00:31,663 --> 00:00:36,993 No, a student punched another student in the face. 16 00:00:34,123 --> 00:00:38,413 Aah. 17 00:00:37,025 --> 00:00:40,105 Please. Rookie mistake. 18 00:00:38,436 --> 00:00:43,286 Everybody knows that body blows are harder to prove. 19 00:00:40,229 --> 00:00:47,289 Okay, send him in, Lorraine. 20 00:00:45,706 --> 00:00:48,726 I'm sorry, Tina. 21 00:00:47,363 --> 00:00:50,533 - I just have to take care of this. - Ah. 22 00:00:48,755 --> 00:00:52,925 You know, most of the students here are really well-behaved, 23 00:00:50,561 --> 00:00:54,791 but there are a few bad apples. 24 00:00:52,949 --> 00:00:56,979 Hi, Mom. 25 00:00:55,318 --> 00:01:00,128 He didn't do it! 26 00:00:58,538 --> 00:01:20,158 Hey, Dave. 27 00:01:18,356 --> 00:01:23,866 Hey, Calvin. Didn't see you there. 28 00:01:21,892 --> 00:01:27,922 Hey, so I, uh, heard 29 00:01:26,428 --> 00:01:30,438 Grover got into a fight at school yesterday. 30 00:01:27,951 --> 00:01:33,821 Yeah, apparently, this kid Justin has been bullying him. 31 00:01:30,462 --> 00:01:35,762 Pushing him, making fun of his clothes, 32 00:01:33,978 --> 00:01:38,008 which makes no sense, 33 00:01:35,788 --> 00:01:41,708 because I spent a lot of time picking them out. 34 00:01:38,030 --> 00:01:45,450 Oh, wow. That's... that's rough, man. 35 00:01:42,911 --> 00:01:48,361 So, where are you taking him to celebrate? 36 00:01:45,797 --> 00:01:50,377 What? Celebrate? 37 00:01:48,939 --> 00:01:52,489 Yeah, he's one and oh! 38 00:01:50,398 --> 00:01:54,208 That's how Tyson got started. 39 00:01:52,506 --> 00:01:56,596 The kid's lucky he didn't bite his ear off. 40 00:01:54,230 --> 00:02:01,400 Okay, well, in our house, 41 00:01:59,388 --> 00:02:03,788 we don't believe that violence solves problems. 42 00:02:01,418 --> 00:02:05,858 Well, this didn't sound like violence. 43 00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:08,069 I mean, this was more like self-defense. 44 00:02:05,879 --> 00:02:10,069 Grover just did what he had to do. 45 00:02:08,233 --> 00:02:13,653 And what you have to do is stop picking out his clothes. 46 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:16,308 Look... 47 00:02:14,692 --> 00:02:18,302 Calvin, I'm not naive. When I was in the military, 48 00:02:16,326 --> 00:02:21,486 I saw what violence does to people, and it's never good. 49 00:02:18,335 --> 00:02:25,845 And please don't try to tell me that jean shorts aren't cool. 50 00:02:21,598 --> 00:02:30,598 Look, if someone pushes you too far, 51 00:02:28,028 --> 00:02:32,758 at some point, you have to push back. 52 00:02:30,624 --> 00:02:34,774 Every man has his breaking point. 53 00:02:32,784 --> 00:02:37,394 Well, I disagree... 54 00:02:35,514 --> 00:02:38,634 and let me tell you why. 55 00:02:37,419 --> 00:02:40,129 Oh, looky there. I just reached mine. 56 00:02:38,662 --> 00:02:50,452 Really? You two playing video games again? 57 00:02:47,473 --> 00:02:51,913 Yeah, we're playing Madden. 58 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:54,010 Oh. In that case, I got next. 59 00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:57,349 - Yeah, man. - What's the score? 60 00:02:55,333 --> 00:02:59,173 I'm up, 21-17. 61 00:02:57,371 --> 00:03:01,661 Oh, this game is over, man. 62 00:02:59,197 --> 00:03:04,877 Dad, there's eight minutes left, 63 00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:06,534 I'm on his ten yard line. 64 00:03:04,901 --> 00:03:08,981 Not anymore. Reset. 65 00:03:06,559 --> 00:03:14,309 Hey, did you hear that Grover beat some kid up in school? 66 00:03:11,544 --> 00:03:15,734 Yeah. 67 00:03:14,333 --> 00:03:17,833 Dave told me the kid was bullying him. 68 00:03:15,756 --> 00:03:20,496 Clearly, he didn't know Grover lives in a black neighborhood. 69 00:03:17,863 --> 00:03:24,683 I live in a black neighborhood, 70 00:03:23,313 --> 00:03:26,173 and I never stood up to my bully. 71 00:03:24,707 --> 00:03:27,467 What? You had a bully? 72 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:29,360 Yeah, for a long time. 73 00:03:27,492 --> 00:03:31,362 Well, you should have did something. 74 00:03:29,553 --> 00:03:34,093 You know, give him the old two-piece and a biscuit. 75 00:03:31,389 --> 00:03:37,469 I couldn't. He was way bigger than me. 76 00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:40,613 So? Look, if you let people push you around, 77 00:03:37,530 --> 00:03:42,380 they'll do it to you the rest of your life. 78 00:03:40,639 --> 00:03:45,299 You know what? You're right. 79 00:03:43,134 --> 00:03:48,704 Give me that! 80 00:03:46,037 --> 00:03:53,997 What the hell are you doing? 81 00:03:52,178 --> 00:03:56,458 Well, it's just what you said. 82 00:03:54,783 --> 00:03:58,543 - I'm standing up to my bully. - Me?! 83 00:03:56,483 --> 00:04:01,523 Go on, Marty. Give him the old two-piece and a biscuit. 84 00:03:58,575 --> 00:04:07,025 Look, Marty, I'm your father. 85 00:04:04,947 --> 00:04:09,837 - I'm not your bully. - Oh, really? 86 00:04:07,052 --> 00:04:11,452 What about when my friends came over 87 00:04:09,942 --> 00:04:13,422 to play Dungeons & Dragons, and you pretended 88 00:04:11,481 --> 00:04:16,221 to cast a spell of eternal virginity on us? 89 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:23,364 It wasn't right, but he wasn't wrong. 90 00:04:20,450 --> 00:04:26,560 Look, now, I did that for your benefit. 91 00:04:24,758 --> 00:04:28,518 I didn't want you to be the weird guy 92 00:04:26,584 --> 00:04:30,394 that got picked on by the other boys. 93 00:04:28,545 --> 00:04:32,095 It was last Tuesday, Dad. 94 00:04:30,424 --> 00:04:36,014 Oh, yeah, I remember, because up until then, 95 00:04:33,717 --> 00:04:40,117 I'd never seen anybody wear suspenders and a belt. 96 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:43,340 Well, all I know is, you embarrassed me 97 00:04:41,641 --> 00:04:44,461 in front of my friends. 98 00:04:43,364 --> 00:04:45,544 Okay, Marty, look... 99 00:04:44,488 --> 00:04:46,578 And-and for your information, 100 00:04:45,573 --> 00:04:48,323 it was not a belt. 101 00:04:46,602 --> 00:04:50,122 It was a sash! 102 00:04:48,385 --> 00:04:56,365 I know it's the weekend, but I feel like 103 00:04:54,334 --> 00:04:58,584 we should deal with this as soon as possible. 104 00:04:56,394 --> 00:05:01,694 Okay, then, I'll see you in my office tomorrow. 105 00:04:59,406 --> 00:05:04,286 And again, I'm sorry this happened to your son. 106 00:05:01,722 --> 00:05:08,292 Your jerk-face bully of a son! 107 00:05:05,715 --> 00:05:12,835 You okay? 108 00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:14,950 No! I'm the principal, Dave. 109 00:05:12,859 --> 00:05:17,479 My son isn't supposed to be beating up other kids! 110 00:05:14,969 --> 00:05:20,329 Even if they are a bratty little snot wad. 111 00:05:17,499 --> 00:05:23,179 Okay, yes, 112 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:25,633 clearly, Grover was provoked. 113 00:05:23,404 --> 00:05:29,474 But I think we can both agree that violence is not the answer. 114 00:05:25,663 --> 00:05:32,323 - Of course it isn't. - Okay. Good. 115 00:05:30,046 --> 00:05:34,376 But why would you buy him those stupid jean shorts?! 116 00:05:32,346 --> 00:05:36,266 Ow! 117 00:05:34,411 --> 00:05:40,461 O-O-Okay. 118 00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:43,833 Look, I know this puts you in a tough position, 119 00:05:40,494 --> 00:05:46,564 - but maybe I can help. - How? 120 00:05:43,859 --> 00:05:49,229 Let me take Grover to his house, have him apologize, 121 00:05:46,589 --> 00:05:51,639 and diffuse the situation before the meeting. 122 00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:53,770 That's a good idea. 123 00:05:52,167 --> 00:05:55,357 I'll come with you. 124 00:05:53,835 --> 00:05:57,065 That sounds great. 125 00:05:55,377 --> 00:06:00,797 That way I can slash his stupid bike tires! 126 00:05:57,925 --> 00:06:05,945 Or, you know, maybe you sit this one out. 127 00:06:03,134 --> 00:06:13,064 Tina, it's official. 128 00:06:10,490 --> 00:06:15,290 You failed as a mother. 129 00:06:13,094 --> 00:06:18,404 What are you talking about? 130 00:06:16,605 --> 00:06:20,445 Marty. You made him soft 131 00:06:18,433 --> 00:06:23,733 with all your hugs and kisses and bedtime stories. 132 00:06:20,466 --> 00:06:26,546 Well, if you want another bedtime story, 133 00:06:24,438 --> 00:06:29,358 you better think about the next thing that comes out your mouth. 134 00:06:26,568 --> 00:06:33,348 Baby, the boy just told me that I was his bully. 135 00:06:30,430 --> 00:06:35,020 Can you believe that? 136 00:06:33,367 --> 00:06:36,947 - Hell, yeah. - What?! 137 00:06:35,041 --> 00:06:38,471 Tina, you're my wife. 138 00:06:36,971 --> 00:06:41,141 It's supposed to be me and you against the kids. 139 00:06:38,497 --> 00:06:43,927 Look, babe, I know what a good father you are 140 00:06:42,155 --> 00:06:45,735 and how much you love Marty, but sometimes 141 00:06:43,955 --> 00:06:48,655 you go a little too far when you make fun of his hobbies. 142 00:06:45,763 --> 00:06:50,193 I don't know. 143 00:06:48,682 --> 00:06:52,152 These kids today... they're just weak. 144 00:06:50,224 --> 00:06:54,614 I mean, when I was coming up, it wasn't bullying 145 00:06:52,183 --> 00:06:56,773 unless something was cut, broken 146 00:06:54,643 --> 00:06:58,483 or set on fire. 147 00:06:56,802 --> 00:07:00,312 Oh, I know. 148 00:06:58,507 --> 00:07:03,257 I went to the principal's office for all three of those. 149 00:07:00,342 --> 00:07:06,322 Marty's just a little more sensitive than us. 150 00:07:04,018 --> 00:07:08,358 Yeah, I guess maybe you're right. 151 00:07:06,352 --> 00:07:11,102 But when he called me his bully, 152 00:07:08,706 --> 00:07:13,466 it just really hurt my feelings. 153 00:07:11,324 --> 00:07:21,144 Dad, do I have to apologize? 154 00:07:18,619 --> 00:07:23,719 Yes, Grover. When you do something wrong to someone, 155 00:07:21,178 --> 00:07:24,968 you owe them an apology. 156 00:07:23,745 --> 00:07:28,425 You should give me one for buying those jean shorts. 157 00:07:26,025 --> 00:07:33,175 Hi. Can I help you? 158 00:07:31,165 --> 00:07:35,445 Hi. I'm Dave Johnson, Grover's father. 159 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:37,860 Oh. 160 00:07:36,344 --> 00:07:42,134 Probably a good idea. 161 00:07:40,812 --> 00:07:44,182 It's, uh, cold and flu season. 162 00:07:42,158 --> 00:07:45,978 What are you guys doing here? 163 00:07:44,629 --> 00:07:48,419 Grover wanted to apologize to Justin. 164 00:07:46,001 --> 00:07:50,411 And you think my son wants an apology 165 00:07:48,444 --> 00:07:52,574 from the little punk who sucker-punched him? 166 00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:56,287 He's lucky Justin didn't kick his ass. 167 00:07:53,808 --> 00:08:00,898 Do I still have to apologize? 168 00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:05,731 Yes. Uh, look, man, I know that you're upset, 169 00:08:03,243 --> 00:08:07,553 but I don't think calling my son names 170 00:08:05,764 --> 00:08:09,544 is gonna make the situation any better. 171 00:08:07,580 --> 00:08:13,530 Hmm. Well, your situation's about to get a lot worse 172 00:08:09,766 --> 00:08:15,376 if you don't get out of my face. 173 00:08:13,555 --> 00:08:20,425 Okay, I... I think if we both just stay calm... 174 00:08:17,394 --> 00:08:24,824 Now there's no need to push me like that. 175 00:08:22,465 --> 00:08:28,185 Yeah? Oh, how about I push you like this? 176 00:08:24,853 --> 00:08:35,653 Fella... 177 00:08:33,556 --> 00:08:39,926 You're about this close to losing that apology. 178 00:08:37,009 --> 00:08:45,649 Hey, Marty... hold up. 179 00:08:42,929 --> 00:08:47,299 What? 180 00:08:45,865 --> 00:08:49,265 What are you doing tomorrow? 181 00:08:47,366 --> 00:08:51,736 Oh, I was going apple-picking with some friends. 182 00:08:49,335 --> 00:09:00,295 Sounds delightful. 183 00:08:58,197 --> 00:09:03,767 But, uh, maybe when you're done, 184 00:09:01,313 --> 00:09:05,673 you can come back here, and we can play some 185 00:09:03,790 --> 00:09:07,870 of that, uh, Dungeon & Dragons. 186 00:09:05,698 --> 00:09:10,998 I never tried it, and, uh, seems like fun. 187 00:09:08,193 --> 00:09:15,283 Mama, get out here! I think Daddy's having a stroke! 188 00:09:12,501 --> 00:09:19,041 I'm not having a stroke. 189 00:09:17,337 --> 00:09:22,187 I'm trying to show some interest in your stupid hobby. 190 00:09:19,397 --> 00:09:25,517 I'm sorry. That came out wrong. 191 00:09:23,061 --> 00:09:28,671 Are you serious? You really want to do this? 192 00:09:26,574 --> 00:09:29,964 Absolutely. 193 00:09:28,703 --> 00:09:32,113 Okay. Great. 194 00:09:30,350 --> 00:09:34,620 - Well, thanks, Dad. - Ah. All right. Ah. 195 00:09:32,144 --> 00:09:37,904 Prepare thee for adventure! 196 00:09:34,637 --> 00:09:50,537 Oh, my God, what happened?! 197 00:09:48,008 --> 00:09:55,008 Justin's dad got a little heated, and he punched me. 198 00:09:51,629 --> 00:09:57,669 What?! Are you okay? 199 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:59,162 Yeah, I'm-I'm fine. 200 00:09:57,694 --> 00:10:01,564 I can't believe he beat you up. 201 00:09:59,324 --> 00:10:03,144 No, Mom, he didn't! 202 00:10:01,587 --> 00:10:04,317 Dad totally kicked his butt! 203 00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:06,269 It was awesome! 204 00:10:04,343 --> 00:10:11,843 Is that true? 205 00:10:10,231 --> 00:10:13,811 It wasn't what I wanted. 206 00:10:11,867 --> 00:10:18,127 But it was pretty awesome. 207 00:10:15,826 --> 00:10:25,096 You should have seen it, Mom! 208 00:10:23,446 --> 00:10:26,536 Justin's dad punched him, 209 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:28,430 but then Dad gave him a couple of these. 210 00:10:26,565 --> 00:10:34,065 And then Justin's dad went down. 211 00:10:32,096 --> 00:10:35,146 And then Dad said... 212 00:10:34,095 --> 00:10:36,455 Grover, please, go to your room. 213 00:10:35,173 --> 00:10:38,393 No-no-no-no-no, that's not what he said. 214 00:10:36,479 --> 00:10:43,539 There were way more curse words. 215 00:10:40,778 --> 00:10:45,788 Okay, you know what? 216 00:10:44,197 --> 00:10:47,577 Grover, Mom's right. Go to your room. 217 00:10:45,809 --> 00:10:50,689 Okay. Okay, I don't want any trouble. 218 00:10:47,599 --> 00:10:55,439 I can't believe you got into a fight. 219 00:10:53,230 --> 00:10:56,990 In front of our son? 220 00:10:55,456 --> 00:10:59,176 I know. I'm sorry. 221 00:10:57,100 --> 00:11:03,560 But if someone pushes you too far, 222 00:11:00,533 --> 00:11:07,123 at some point... 223 00:11:05,170 --> 00:11:09,660 you have to push back. 224 00:11:07,936 --> 00:11:13,876 Every man has his breaking point. 225 00:11:11,359 --> 00:11:16,819 That's the most ridiculous thing I've... 226 00:11:15,015 --> 00:11:18,785 Did you get that from Calvin? 227 00:11:16,836 --> 00:11:21,146 No. 228 00:11:19,942 --> 00:11:23,212 Okay, yes. 229 00:11:21,751 --> 00:11:27,431 Dave, I'm the school principal. 230 00:11:25,004 --> 00:11:29,234 Do you know how this makes me look? 231 00:11:27,464 --> 00:11:32,024 He started it. 232 00:11:30,459 --> 00:11:37,309 Really, Dave? That's your excuse? 233 00:11:34,833 --> 00:11:42,083 Told Grover that wouldn't work. 234 00:11:40,123 --> 00:11:47,353 All right! Let's do this. 235 00:11:45,818 --> 00:11:49,138 Hold on, Malcolm's playing, too? 236 00:11:47,470 --> 00:11:50,490 I didn't know you liked this game. 237 00:11:49,161 --> 00:11:51,591 I don't. 238 00:11:50,514 --> 00:11:52,734 But I want to be here 239 00:11:51,619 --> 00:11:54,379 when you flip the table and storm out. 240 00:11:52,756 --> 00:11:58,256 Look, I don't know the rules, 241 00:11:56,758 --> 00:12:01,238 but is there any way I can feed him to a dragon? 242 00:11:58,283 --> 00:12:05,993 Well, all things are possible in the Goblin Castle of Alkobar. 243 00:12:02,363 --> 00:12:10,843 Oh, boy, here comes the table. 244 00:12:08,366 --> 00:12:15,906 So, how long is this game gon' take? 245 00:12:14,289 --> 00:12:17,269 20 minutes? Half hour? 246 00:12:15,929 --> 00:12:18,869 Oh, no. But if we hustle, 247 00:12:17,288 --> 00:12:20,568 we can do it in half a day. 248 00:12:18,887 --> 00:12:23,257 Half a day? 249 00:12:21,538 --> 00:12:26,738 Wow, that's almost like too much fun. 250 00:12:23,802 --> 00:12:30,172 Okay. So, let's get right to it. 251 00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,899 Okay. 252 00:12:30,196 --> 00:12:32,536 I already created characters for you both. 253 00:12:30,925 --> 00:12:33,685 - Malcolm. - Yes. 254 00:12:32,562 --> 00:12:35,962 You are Shadow Fang, a fighter elf. 255 00:12:33,708 --> 00:12:41,038 You're a little tiny-ass elf! 256 00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:43,828 Actually, Dad, 257 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,820 it's a common misconception that elves are little. 258 00:12:43,851 --> 00:12:47,551 They're actually known for being tall 259 00:12:45,841 --> 00:12:49,041 and lean and extremely dexterous. 260 00:12:47,576 --> 00:12:50,846 Oh. Okay. Well, in that case, 261 00:12:49,070 --> 00:12:52,650 I guess I'm an elf, too. 262 00:12:50,874 --> 00:12:55,284 It's too late. You a tiny-ass dwarf. 263 00:12:52,668 --> 00:13:00,668 And my name is Galumpkin? 264 00:12:58,587 --> 00:13:03,507 Yes! Galumpkin the Great, king of the dwarves. 265 00:13:00,695 --> 00:13:04,865 You're an eighth-level barbarian 266 00:13:03,527 --> 00:13:06,487 who fights with an enchanted battle ax. 267 00:13:04,887 --> 00:13:09,637 Well, all right! Okay. 268 00:13:06,674 --> 00:13:11,244 All right, so, who you gonna be, Marty? 269 00:13:09,657 --> 00:13:12,627 Oh, no, I'm not one of the characters. 270 00:13:11,274 --> 00:13:14,334 I am the Dungeon Master, 271 00:13:12,646 --> 00:13:15,806 the all-knowing, omnipotent guide 272 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:17,340 through your epic journey. 273 00:13:15,833 --> 00:13:19,933 And I get to wear this hat. 274 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:35,130 Hey, there. 275 00:13:33,662 --> 00:13:36,592 Oh, hi, Tina. 276 00:13:35,154 --> 00:13:38,994 Damn, Dave, what happened to you? 277 00:13:37,472 --> 00:13:41,292 Somebody whup your ass? 278 00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:43,468 No. 279 00:13:42,033 --> 00:13:46,053 I went to talk things out with Justin's dad, 280 00:13:43,492 --> 00:13:49,252 but he took a swing at me, so I had to fight back. 281 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:50,960 Wow, Dave. 282 00:13:49,459 --> 00:13:52,569 I didn't know you had it in you. 283 00:13:50,985 --> 00:13:54,545 So, you won? 284 00:13:52,588 --> 00:13:59,218 I totally kicked his ass. 285 00:13:56,721 --> 00:14:01,721 Well, good for you 286 00:14:00,071 --> 00:14:04,141 for doing something incredibly stupid. 287 00:14:01,751 --> 00:14:07,891 He hit me first. 288 00:14:06,493 --> 00:14:10,203 Oh, yeah. 289 00:14:08,810 --> 00:14:12,310 You know, that was always my excuse, too. 290 00:14:10,235 --> 00:14:13,905 Or "I didn't do it!" 291 00:14:12,331 --> 00:14:16,941 Or "Karen stuffed her own head in the toilet!" I mean... 292 00:14:13,935 --> 00:14:20,025 What was I supposed to do? Just walk away? 293 00:14:17,645 --> 00:14:23,065 Look, I feel you, Dave, but think about Gemma. 294 00:14:20,053 --> 00:14:25,513 What if this gets out to the other parents? 295 00:14:23,088 --> 00:14:27,908 This undermines her credibility at work. 296 00:14:25,538 --> 00:14:30,068 She could lose her job. 297 00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:33,048 I know. You're right. 298 00:14:30,979 --> 00:14:34,779 I-I got to fix this. 299 00:14:33,072 --> 00:14:36,822 It's all right. I'm sure you'll find a way. 300 00:14:34,797 --> 00:14:39,007 Thanks, Tina. 301 00:14:37,521 --> 00:14:40,591 Hey, so, what did Karen do 302 00:14:39,274 --> 00:14:42,334 to make you stuff her head in the toilet? 303 00:14:40,622 --> 00:14:44,782 She gave me a "C" on a test. 304 00:14:42,395 --> 00:14:50,705 Okay. You finally emerge 305 00:14:48,484 --> 00:14:53,454 from the mountain pass into a clearing, 306 00:14:50,732 --> 00:14:54,882 where you discover... 307 00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:56,296 a stone giant! 308 00:14:54,907 --> 00:14:57,987 Damn it. Malcolm, 309 00:14:56,579 --> 00:15:00,449 I told you what made those footprints. 310 00:14:58,010 --> 00:15:03,390 Well, look, Pop, there's no way we can beat a stone giant. 311 00:15:00,986 --> 00:15:05,596 Let's just backtrack and go the other way. 312 00:15:03,408 --> 00:15:07,098 Are you kidding me? 313 00:15:05,639 --> 00:15:09,629 And go back through the Swamp of Lost Souls? 314 00:15:07,165 --> 00:15:11,475 I'm not going back there. 315 00:15:09,649 --> 00:15:15,509 Look, come on, Pop. Let's just run away. 316 00:15:13,334 --> 00:15:17,594 No. No, no, man. 317 00:15:15,526 --> 00:15:20,056 We can beat this fool right here. 318 00:15:17,616 --> 00:15:21,626 You know what? 319 00:15:20,215 --> 00:15:23,225 I drink a potion of strength 320 00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:26,184 while I cast a spell of confusion 321 00:15:23,246 --> 00:15:28,726 while attacking with my enchanted battle ax! 322 00:15:26,209 --> 00:15:30,209 Yeah. 323 00:15:28,750 --> 00:15:33,840 Watch out, giant. Here come the pain! 324 00:15:30,532 --> 00:15:36,722 That's a one. You die. 325 00:15:34,947 --> 00:15:40,077 What? 326 00:15:38,574 --> 00:15:42,324 No, that can't be right, man. I'm Galumpkin. 327 00:15:40,102 --> 00:15:44,932 G-Love! The Lump Dawg! 328 00:15:42,349 --> 00:15:47,559 I'm sorry, Dad. The dice don't lie. 329 00:15:45,792 --> 00:15:49,972 Well, we not giving up. Ain't that right, Malcolm? 330 00:15:47,584 --> 00:15:51,764 Peace out, Lump Dawg. 331 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:56,230 All right, thanks for playing, Dad. 332 00:15:54,304 --> 00:15:58,234 Wh-What do you mean, "Thanks for playing"? 333 00:15:56,249 --> 00:16:00,689 You can't talk to the king of the dwarves like that. 334 00:15:58,256 --> 00:16:02,486 Come on, run it back. 335 00:16:00,706 --> 00:16:04,936 No, you don't have to. 336 00:16:03,093 --> 00:16:08,323 I know I don't have to, but I want to. 337 00:16:05,177 --> 00:16:11,777 Yeah, but you two always make fun of me for this stuff. 338 00:16:09,444 --> 00:16:14,044 Yeah, I know. 339 00:16:12,510 --> 00:16:15,690 But, uh... 340 00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:18,303 you know, sometimes I, uh... 341 00:16:15,916 --> 00:16:20,036 You know me. 342 00:16:18,705 --> 00:16:23,065 You know, I don't say things that, uh... 343 00:16:20,064 --> 00:16:28,094 You know what I'm saying? 344 00:16:26,574 --> 00:16:30,234 You know what I mean? 345 00:16:28,125 --> 00:16:34,135 Dad... 346 00:16:32,795 --> 00:16:36,695 that is the nicest thing you ever said to me. 347 00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:44,131 Well, I meant every word, son. 348 00:16:41,523 --> 00:16:47,653 Look, Marty, 349 00:16:45,513 --> 00:16:49,413 look, I don't want to be your bully. 350 00:16:47,788 --> 00:16:51,898 I'm your father, all right? And I love you. 351 00:16:49,436 --> 00:16:53,766 - I love you, too. - Come on, then. 352 00:16:51,921 --> 00:16:55,911 Come on, boy. 353 00:16:53,787 --> 00:17:02,867 I really appreciate you doing this with me. 354 00:17:00,885 --> 00:17:04,425 It means a lot. 355 00:17:02,905 --> 00:17:06,025 Good. Good. 356 00:17:04,454 --> 00:17:07,554 All right, now, sit your ass back down 357 00:17:06,053 --> 00:17:10,043 and put your stupid hat on. Let's go. 358 00:17:07,583 --> 00:17:19,073 Thank you for coming in, and please know 359 00:17:17,109 --> 00:17:21,739 I take this situation very seriously. 360 00:17:19,101 --> 00:17:24,561 You should. First, your kid assaults Justin, 361 00:17:21,756 --> 00:17:26,386 then your husband attacks me. 362 00:17:24,587 --> 00:17:30,027 Apparently, our family isn't safe at school or at home. 363 00:17:26,827 --> 00:17:32,507 I understand, but I assure you, 364 00:17:30,581 --> 00:17:34,751 Justin and you are completely safe. 365 00:17:32,530 --> 00:17:36,150 Hello. 366 00:17:34,780 --> 00:17:41,390 Dave, what are you doing here? 367 00:17:39,724 --> 00:17:42,474 I'm looking for Ed. 368 00:17:41,412 --> 00:17:43,732 I told you he was crazy. 369 00:17:42,504 --> 00:17:46,744 I just came to apologize. 370 00:17:44,780 --> 00:17:49,300 I never should have let things escalate the way that they did. 371 00:17:46,772 --> 00:17:50,802 Well, you should have thought of that 372 00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:53,119 before you beat him with his own shoe. 373 00:17:50,831 --> 00:17:57,651 Okay, clearly, mistakes were made, 374 00:17:54,838 --> 00:18:00,078 and we all have a lot of healing to do. 375 00:17:57,679 --> 00:18:04,029 Really? Is anyone else getting their stitches out on Friday? 376 00:18:00,096 --> 00:18:08,296 We didn't come here 377 00:18:06,801 --> 00:18:10,201 for an apology. 378 00:18:08,323 --> 00:18:12,803 We came here to tell you that we're contacting a lawyer. 379 00:18:10,227 --> 00:18:14,167 And after we're done, 380 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:16,550 you're not going to be able to get a job anywhere. 381 00:18:14,190 --> 00:18:17,880 Okay, wait a second. 382 00:18:16,575 --> 00:18:18,925 Dave, let me handle this. 383 00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:20,550 No. Your husband and your son 384 00:18:18,952 --> 00:18:22,532 are a couple of animals. 385 00:18:20,573 --> 00:18:24,813 "Animals"? 386 00:18:23,425 --> 00:18:26,995 You heard me. Let's go, Ed. 387 00:18:24,845 --> 00:18:28,225 Dave. 388 00:18:27,017 --> 00:18:30,487 Uh, we should hear her out. 389 00:18:28,251 --> 00:18:35,911 Here's what's gonna happen. 390 00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:38,270 Grover's going to be suspended for fighting. 391 00:18:35,942 --> 00:18:41,062 Justin's going to be suspended for bullying. 392 00:18:38,429 --> 00:18:43,159 - But... - Did I call on you? 393 00:18:41,089 --> 00:18:47,709 As a show of good will, 394 00:18:45,962 --> 00:18:49,562 Dave is not gonna press charges against Ed 395 00:18:47,735 --> 00:18:51,115 for attacking him first. 396 00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:53,857 And in return, you won't press charges against Dave 397 00:18:51,137 --> 00:18:55,937 for making Ed his bitch. 398 00:18:53,879 --> 00:19:03,049 That's it. 399 00:19:01,653 --> 00:19:04,983 I'm calling the board of trustees. 400 00:19:03,072 --> 00:19:08,582 Fine. And I'm calling the IRS to report you for tax evasion. 401 00:19:05,006 --> 00:19:10,236 What are you talking about? 402 00:19:08,609 --> 00:19:12,539 I'm talking about how your seven-year-old son 403 00:19:10,264 --> 00:19:14,654 is the registered owner of a 20-foot sailboat 404 00:19:12,557 --> 00:19:16,527 named Take it Sleazy. 405 00:19:14,683 --> 00:19:21,463 It was all her idea. 406 00:19:19,517 --> 00:19:25,957 You know what? 407 00:19:24,216 --> 00:19:27,926 Things did get out of hand, 408 00:19:25,984 --> 00:19:31,194 but it sounds like you've got the situation under control. 409 00:19:27,950 --> 00:19:34,380 Finally, we agree on something. 410 00:19:32,389 --> 00:19:35,859 C-Can we... 411 00:19:34,404 --> 00:19:37,854 You may go. 412 00:19:35,877 --> 00:19:48,467 That was amazing. 413 00:19:46,189 --> 00:19:49,779 Thank you. 414 00:19:48,495 --> 00:19:51,345 How'd you know about the boat? 415 00:19:49,797 --> 00:19:52,827 Justin's not just a bully. 416 00:19:51,367 --> 00:19:54,287 He's also a blabbermouth. 417 00:19:52,846 --> 00:19:56,826 And, word on the playground, a bedwetter. 418 00:19:54,310 --> 00:20:01,950 I can't believe how well you kept your cool. 419 00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:04,151 You know, apparently, Calvin was wrong. 420 00:20:01,969 --> 00:20:06,629 Not everyone has a breaking point. 421 00:20:04,383 --> 00:20:09,493 Oh, no. If she had said one more word about you or Grover, 422 00:20:06,650 --> 00:20:12,240 that ho would've been on the flo'. 423 00:20:09,517 --> 00:20:20,867 Congratulations adventurers. 424 00:20:18,646 --> 00:20:23,376 You found the exit to the Labyrinth of Despair. 425 00:20:20,890 --> 00:20:25,040 You emerge into the light. 426 00:20:23,404 --> 00:20:26,984 - Boom! Yeah! - Yes! 427 00:20:25,065 --> 00:20:30,085 But your path has been blocked 428 00:20:28,174 --> 00:20:31,594 by a man-eating ogre! 429 00:20:30,111 --> 00:20:33,311 - What? - Come on! 430 00:20:31,617 --> 00:20:36,677 What do you do? 431 00:20:34,663 --> 00:20:39,633 I say we try reasoning with him. 432 00:20:37,741 --> 00:20:40,771 Let's lay down our weapons 433 00:20:39,661 --> 00:20:43,231 and let him know that we come in peace. 434 00:20:40,796 --> 00:20:45,136 Good plan. 435 00:20:43,702 --> 00:20:47,092 Good plan. Like it. 436 00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:49,061 I'm gonna go ahead and kill Dave. 437 00:20:47,506 --> 00:20:53,876 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com -