1
00:00:00,521 --> 00:00:04,491
- Hey, Gem.
- Hey, Tina. got this honey!
2
00:00:02,528 --> 00:00:06,338
Come on in. I'm almost done here.
3
00:00:04,521 --> 00:00:09,531
Wow. This is the first time I've
been in the principal's office
4
00:00:06,359 --> 00:00:11,179
without being dragged in screaming,
5
00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:13,020
"I didn't do it!"
6
00:00:11,198 --> 00:00:16,198
Hmm. Did you do it?
7
00:00:14,239 --> 00:00:17,589
Every time.
8
00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:20,176
So, where are we headin' to for lunch?
9
00:00:18,214 --> 00:00:21,634
Anywhere but the cafeteria.
10
00:00:20,196 --> 00:00:23,146
There was a food fight last week,
11
00:00:21,663 --> 00:00:26,473
- and I took a taco to the chest.
- Ooh.
12
00:00:23,175 --> 00:00:29,945
Sorry to interrupt, Gemma, but
there was an incident at lunch.
13
00:00:26,854 --> 00:00:31,634
Oh, no. How many tacos are missing,
14
00:00:29,973 --> 00:00:33,263
and how many kids were hurt?
15
00:00:31,663 --> 00:00:36,993
No, a student punched another
student in the face.
16
00:00:34,123 --> 00:00:38,413
Aah.
17
00:00:37,025 --> 00:00:40,105
Please. Rookie mistake.
18
00:00:38,436 --> 00:00:43,286
Everybody knows that body
blows are harder to prove.
19
00:00:40,229 --> 00:00:47,289
Okay, send him in, Lorraine.
20
00:00:45,706 --> 00:00:48,726
I'm sorry, Tina.
21
00:00:47,363 --> 00:00:50,533
- I just have to take care of this.
- Ah.
22
00:00:48,755 --> 00:00:52,925
You know, most of the students
here are really well-behaved,
23
00:00:50,561 --> 00:00:54,791
but there are a few bad apples.
24
00:00:52,949 --> 00:00:56,979
Hi, Mom.
25
00:00:55,318 --> 00:01:00,128
He didn't do it!
26
00:00:58,538 --> 00:01:20,158
Hey, Dave.
27
00:01:18,356 --> 00:01:23,866
Hey, Calvin. Didn't see you there.
28
00:01:21,892 --> 00:01:27,922
Hey, so I, uh, heard
29
00:01:26,428 --> 00:01:30,438
Grover got into a fight
at school yesterday.
30
00:01:27,951 --> 00:01:33,821
Yeah, apparently, this kid
Justin has been bullying him.
31
00:01:30,462 --> 00:01:35,762
Pushing him, making fun of his clothes,
32
00:01:33,978 --> 00:01:38,008
which makes no sense,
33
00:01:35,788 --> 00:01:41,708
because I spent a lot of
time picking them out.
34
00:01:38,030 --> 00:01:45,450
Oh, wow. That's... that's rough, man.
35
00:01:42,911 --> 00:01:48,361
So, where are you taking
him to celebrate?
36
00:01:45,797 --> 00:01:50,377
What? Celebrate?
37
00:01:48,939 --> 00:01:52,489
Yeah, he's one and oh!
38
00:01:50,398 --> 00:01:54,208
That's how Tyson got started.
39
00:01:52,506 --> 00:01:56,596
The kid's lucky he
didn't bite his ear off.
40
00:01:54,230 --> 00:02:01,400
Okay, well, in our house,
41
00:01:59,388 --> 00:02:03,788
we don't believe that
violence solves problems.
42
00:02:01,418 --> 00:02:05,858
Well, this didn't sound like violence.
43
00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:08,069
I mean, this was more
like self-defense.
44
00:02:05,879 --> 00:02:10,069
Grover just did what he had to do.
45
00:02:08,233 --> 00:02:13,653
And what you have to do is
stop picking out his clothes.
46
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:16,308
Look...
47
00:02:14,692 --> 00:02:18,302
Calvin, I'm not naive. When
I was in the military,
48
00:02:16,326 --> 00:02:21,486
I saw what violence does to
people, and it's never good.
49
00:02:18,335 --> 00:02:25,845
And please don't try to tell me
that jean shorts aren't cool.
50
00:02:21,598 --> 00:02:30,598
Look, if someone pushes you too far,
51
00:02:28,028 --> 00:02:32,758
at some point, you have to push back.
52
00:02:30,624 --> 00:02:34,774
Every man has his breaking point.
53
00:02:32,784 --> 00:02:37,394
Well, I disagree...
54
00:02:35,514 --> 00:02:38,634
and let me tell you why.
55
00:02:37,419 --> 00:02:40,129
Oh, looky there. I just reached mine.
56
00:02:38,662 --> 00:02:50,452
Really? You two playing
video games again?
57
00:02:47,473 --> 00:02:51,913
Yeah, we're playing Madden.
58
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:54,010
Oh. In that case, I got next.
59
00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:57,349
- Yeah, man.
- What's the score?
60
00:02:55,333 --> 00:02:59,173
I'm up, 21-17.
61
00:02:57,371 --> 00:03:01,661
Oh, this game is over, man.
62
00:02:59,197 --> 00:03:04,877
Dad, there's eight minutes left,
63
00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:06,534
I'm on his ten yard line.
64
00:03:04,901 --> 00:03:08,981
Not anymore. Reset.
65
00:03:06,559 --> 00:03:14,309
Hey, did you hear that Grover
beat some kid up in school?
66
00:03:11,544 --> 00:03:15,734
Yeah.
67
00:03:14,333 --> 00:03:17,833
Dave told me the kid was bullying him.
68
00:03:15,756 --> 00:03:20,496
Clearly, he didn't know Grover
lives in a black neighborhood.
69
00:03:17,863 --> 00:03:24,683
I live in a black neighborhood,
70
00:03:23,313 --> 00:03:26,173
and I never stood up to my bully.
71
00:03:24,707 --> 00:03:27,467
What? You had a bully?
72
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:29,360
Yeah, for a long time.
73
00:03:27,492 --> 00:03:31,362
Well, you should have did something.
74
00:03:29,553 --> 00:03:34,093
You know, give him the old
two-piece and a biscuit.
75
00:03:31,389 --> 00:03:37,469
I couldn't. He was way bigger than me.
76
00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:40,613
So? Look, if you let
people push you around,
77
00:03:37,530 --> 00:03:42,380
they'll do it to you
the rest of your life.
78
00:03:40,639 --> 00:03:45,299
You know what? You're right.
79
00:03:43,134 --> 00:03:48,704
Give me that!
80
00:03:46,037 --> 00:03:53,997
What the hell are you doing?
81
00:03:52,178 --> 00:03:56,458
Well, it's just what you said.
82
00:03:54,783 --> 00:03:58,543
- I'm standing up to my bully.
- Me?!
83
00:03:56,483 --> 00:04:01,523
Go on, Marty. Give him the
old two-piece and a biscuit.
84
00:03:58,575 --> 00:04:07,025
Look, Marty, I'm your father.
85
00:04:04,947 --> 00:04:09,837
- I'm not your bully.
- Oh, really?
86
00:04:07,052 --> 00:04:11,452
What about when my friends came over
87
00:04:09,942 --> 00:04:13,422
to play Dungeons &
Dragons, and you pretended
88
00:04:11,481 --> 00:04:16,221
to cast a spell of
eternal virginity on us?
89
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:23,364
It wasn't right, but he wasn't wrong.
90
00:04:20,450 --> 00:04:26,560
Look, now, I did that for your benefit.
91
00:04:24,758 --> 00:04:28,518
I didn't want you to be the weird guy
92
00:04:26,584 --> 00:04:30,394
that got picked on by the other boys.
93
00:04:28,545 --> 00:04:32,095
It was last Tuesday, Dad.
94
00:04:30,424 --> 00:04:36,014
Oh, yeah, I remember,
because up until then,
95
00:04:33,717 --> 00:04:40,117
I'd never seen anybody wear
suspenders and a belt.
96
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:43,340
Well, all I know is, you embarrassed me
97
00:04:41,641 --> 00:04:44,461
in front of my friends.
98
00:04:43,364 --> 00:04:45,544
Okay, Marty, look...
99
00:04:44,488 --> 00:04:46,578
And-and for your information,
100
00:04:45,573 --> 00:04:48,323
it was not a belt.
101
00:04:46,602 --> 00:04:50,122
It was a sash!
102
00:04:48,385 --> 00:04:56,365
I know it's the weekend,
but I feel like
103
00:04:54,334 --> 00:04:58,584
we should deal with this
as soon as possible.
104
00:04:56,394 --> 00:05:01,694
Okay, then, I'll see you
in my office tomorrow.
105
00:04:59,406 --> 00:05:04,286
And again, I'm sorry this
happened to your son.
106
00:05:01,722 --> 00:05:08,292
Your jerk-face bully of a son!
107
00:05:05,715 --> 00:05:12,835
You okay?
108
00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:14,950
No! I'm the principal, Dave.
109
00:05:12,859 --> 00:05:17,479
My son isn't supposed to
be beating up other kids!
110
00:05:14,969 --> 00:05:20,329
Even if they are a
bratty little snot wad.
111
00:05:17,499 --> 00:05:23,179
Okay, yes,
112
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:25,633
clearly, Grover was provoked.
113
00:05:23,404 --> 00:05:29,474
But I think we can both agree
that violence is not the answer.
114
00:05:25,663 --> 00:05:32,323
- Of course it isn't.
- Okay. Good.
115
00:05:30,046 --> 00:05:34,376
But why would you buy him
those stupid jean shorts?!
116
00:05:32,346 --> 00:05:36,266
Ow!
117
00:05:34,411 --> 00:05:40,461
O-O-Okay.
118
00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:43,833
Look, I know this puts
you in a tough position,
119
00:05:40,494 --> 00:05:46,564
- but maybe I can help.
- How?
120
00:05:43,859 --> 00:05:49,229
Let me take Grover to his
house, have him apologize,
121
00:05:46,589 --> 00:05:51,639
and diffuse the situation
before the meeting.
122
00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:53,770
That's a good idea.
123
00:05:52,167 --> 00:05:55,357
I'll come with you.
124
00:05:53,835 --> 00:05:57,065
That sounds great.
125
00:05:55,377 --> 00:06:00,797
That way I can slash
his stupid bike tires!
126
00:05:57,925 --> 00:06:05,945
Or, you know, maybe
you sit this one out.
127
00:06:03,134 --> 00:06:13,064
Tina, it's official.
128
00:06:10,490 --> 00:06:15,290
You failed as a mother.
129
00:06:13,094 --> 00:06:18,404
What are you talking about?
130
00:06:16,605 --> 00:06:20,445
Marty. You made him soft
131
00:06:18,433 --> 00:06:23,733
with all your hugs and
kisses and bedtime stories.
132
00:06:20,466 --> 00:06:26,546
Well, if you want
another bedtime story,
133
00:06:24,438 --> 00:06:29,358
you better think about the next
thing that comes out your mouth.
134
00:06:26,568 --> 00:06:33,348
Baby, the boy just told
me that I was his bully.
135
00:06:30,430 --> 00:06:35,020
Can you believe that?
136
00:06:33,367 --> 00:06:36,947
- Hell, yeah.
- What?!
137
00:06:35,041 --> 00:06:38,471
Tina, you're my wife.
138
00:06:36,971 --> 00:06:41,141
It's supposed to be me and
you against the kids.
139
00:06:38,497 --> 00:06:43,927
Look, babe, I know what
a good father you are
140
00:06:42,155 --> 00:06:45,735
and how much you love
Marty, but sometimes
141
00:06:43,955 --> 00:06:48,655
you go a little too far when
you make fun of his hobbies.
142
00:06:45,763 --> 00:06:50,193
I don't know.
143
00:06:48,682 --> 00:06:52,152
These kids today... they're just weak.
144
00:06:50,224 --> 00:06:54,614
I mean, when I was coming
up, it wasn't bullying
145
00:06:52,183 --> 00:06:56,773
unless something was cut, broken
146
00:06:54,643 --> 00:06:58,483
or set on fire.
147
00:06:56,802 --> 00:07:00,312
Oh, I know.
148
00:06:58,507 --> 00:07:03,257
I went to the principal's
office for all three of those.
149
00:07:00,342 --> 00:07:06,322
Marty's just a little
more sensitive than us.
150
00:07:04,018 --> 00:07:08,358
Yeah, I guess maybe you're right.
151
00:07:06,352 --> 00:07:11,102
But when he called me his bully,
152
00:07:08,706 --> 00:07:13,466
it just really hurt my feelings.
153
00:07:11,324 --> 00:07:21,144
Dad, do I have to apologize?
154
00:07:18,619 --> 00:07:23,719
Yes, Grover. When you do
something wrong to someone,
155
00:07:21,178 --> 00:07:24,968
you owe them an apology.
156
00:07:23,745 --> 00:07:28,425
You should give me one for
buying those jean shorts.
157
00:07:26,025 --> 00:07:33,175
Hi. Can I help you?
158
00:07:31,165 --> 00:07:35,445
Hi. I'm Dave Johnson, Grover's father.
159
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:37,860
Oh.
160
00:07:36,344 --> 00:07:42,134
Probably a good idea.
161
00:07:40,812 --> 00:07:44,182
It's, uh, cold and flu season.
162
00:07:42,158 --> 00:07:45,978
What are you guys doing here?
163
00:07:44,629 --> 00:07:48,419
Grover wanted to apologize to Justin.
164
00:07:46,001 --> 00:07:50,411
And you think my son wants an apology
165
00:07:48,444 --> 00:07:52,574
from the little punk who
sucker-punched him?
166
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:56,287
He's lucky Justin didn't kick his ass.
167
00:07:53,808 --> 00:08:00,898
Do I still have to apologize?
168
00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:05,731
Yes. Uh, look, man, I
know that you're upset,
169
00:08:03,243 --> 00:08:07,553
but I don't think calling my son names
170
00:08:05,764 --> 00:08:09,544
is gonna make the situation any better.
171
00:08:07,580 --> 00:08:13,530
Hmm. Well, your situation's
about to get a lot worse
172
00:08:09,766 --> 00:08:15,376
if you don't get out of my face.
173
00:08:13,555 --> 00:08:20,425
Okay, I... I think if we
both just stay calm...
174
00:08:17,394 --> 00:08:24,824
Now there's no need
to push me like that.
175
00:08:22,465 --> 00:08:28,185
Yeah? Oh, how about I
push you like this?
176
00:08:24,853 --> 00:08:35,653
Fella...
177
00:08:33,556 --> 00:08:39,926
You're about this close
to losing that apology.
178
00:08:37,009 --> 00:08:45,649
Hey, Marty... hold up.
179
00:08:42,929 --> 00:08:47,299
What?
180
00:08:45,865 --> 00:08:49,265
What are you doing tomorrow?
181
00:08:47,366 --> 00:08:51,736
Oh, I was going apple-picking
with some friends.
182
00:08:49,335 --> 00:09:00,295
Sounds delightful.
183
00:08:58,197 --> 00:09:03,767
But, uh, maybe when you're done,
184
00:09:01,313 --> 00:09:05,673
you can come back here,
and we can play some
185
00:09:03,790 --> 00:09:07,870
of that, uh, Dungeon & Dragons.
186
00:09:05,698 --> 00:09:10,998
I never tried it, and,
uh, seems like fun.
187
00:09:08,193 --> 00:09:15,283
Mama, get out here! I think
Daddy's having a stroke!
188
00:09:12,501 --> 00:09:19,041
I'm not having a stroke.
189
00:09:17,337 --> 00:09:22,187
I'm trying to show some
interest in your stupid hobby.
190
00:09:19,397 --> 00:09:25,517
I'm sorry. That came out wrong.
191
00:09:23,061 --> 00:09:28,671
Are you serious? You
really want to do this?
192
00:09:26,574 --> 00:09:29,964
Absolutely.
193
00:09:28,703 --> 00:09:32,113
Okay. Great.
194
00:09:30,350 --> 00:09:34,620
- Well, thanks, Dad.
- Ah. All right. Ah.
195
00:09:32,144 --> 00:09:37,904
Prepare thee for adventure!
196
00:09:34,637 --> 00:09:50,537
Oh, my God, what happened?!
197
00:09:48,008 --> 00:09:55,008
Justin's dad got a little
heated, and he punched me.
198
00:09:51,629 --> 00:09:57,669
What?! Are you okay?
199
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:59,162
Yeah, I'm-I'm fine.
200
00:09:57,694 --> 00:10:01,564
I can't believe he beat you up.
201
00:09:59,324 --> 00:10:03,144
No, Mom, he didn't!
202
00:10:01,587 --> 00:10:04,317
Dad totally kicked his butt!
203
00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:06,269
It was awesome!
204
00:10:04,343 --> 00:10:11,843
Is that true?
205
00:10:10,231 --> 00:10:13,811
It wasn't what I wanted.
206
00:10:11,867 --> 00:10:18,127
But it was pretty awesome.
207
00:10:15,826 --> 00:10:25,096
You should have seen it, Mom!
208
00:10:23,446 --> 00:10:26,536
Justin's dad punched him,
209
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:28,430
but then Dad gave him
a couple of these.
210
00:10:26,565 --> 00:10:34,065
And then Justin's dad went down.
211
00:10:32,096 --> 00:10:35,146
And then Dad said...
212
00:10:34,095 --> 00:10:36,455
Grover, please, go to your room.
213
00:10:35,173 --> 00:10:38,393
No-no-no-no-no, that's
not what he said.
214
00:10:36,479 --> 00:10:43,539
There were way more curse words.
215
00:10:40,778 --> 00:10:45,788
Okay, you know what?
216
00:10:44,197 --> 00:10:47,577
Grover, Mom's right. Go to your room.
217
00:10:45,809 --> 00:10:50,689
Okay. Okay, I don't want any trouble.
218
00:10:47,599 --> 00:10:55,439
I can't believe you got into a fight.
219
00:10:53,230 --> 00:10:56,990
In front of our son?
220
00:10:55,456 --> 00:10:59,176
I know. I'm sorry.
221
00:10:57,100 --> 00:11:03,560
But if someone pushes you too far,
222
00:11:00,533 --> 00:11:07,123
at some point...
223
00:11:05,170 --> 00:11:09,660
you have to push back.
224
00:11:07,936 --> 00:11:13,876
Every man has his breaking point.
225
00:11:11,359 --> 00:11:16,819
That's the most
ridiculous thing I've...
226
00:11:15,015 --> 00:11:18,785
Did you get that from Calvin?
227
00:11:16,836 --> 00:11:21,146
No.
228
00:11:19,942 --> 00:11:23,212
Okay, yes.
229
00:11:21,751 --> 00:11:27,431
Dave, I'm the school principal.
230
00:11:25,004 --> 00:11:29,234
Do you know how this makes me look?
231
00:11:27,464 --> 00:11:32,024
He started it.
232
00:11:30,459 --> 00:11:37,309
Really, Dave? That's your excuse?
233
00:11:34,833 --> 00:11:42,083
Told Grover that wouldn't work.
234
00:11:40,123 --> 00:11:47,353
All right! Let's do this.
235
00:11:45,818 --> 00:11:49,138
Hold on, Malcolm's playing, too?
236
00:11:47,470 --> 00:11:50,490
I didn't know you liked this game.
237
00:11:49,161 --> 00:11:51,591
I don't.
238
00:11:50,514 --> 00:11:52,734
But I want to be here
239
00:11:51,619 --> 00:11:54,379
when you flip the table and storm out.
240
00:11:52,756 --> 00:11:58,256
Look, I don't know the rules,
241
00:11:56,758 --> 00:12:01,238
but is there any way I can
feed him to a dragon?
242
00:11:58,283 --> 00:12:05,993
Well, all things are possible in
the Goblin Castle of Alkobar.
243
00:12:02,363 --> 00:12:10,843
Oh, boy, here comes the table.
244
00:12:08,366 --> 00:12:15,906
So, how long is this game gon' take?
245
00:12:14,289 --> 00:12:17,269
20 minutes? Half hour?
246
00:12:15,929 --> 00:12:18,869
Oh, no. But if we hustle,
247
00:12:17,288 --> 00:12:20,568
we can do it in half a day.
248
00:12:18,887 --> 00:12:23,257
Half a day?
249
00:12:21,538 --> 00:12:26,738
Wow, that's almost like too much fun.
250
00:12:23,802 --> 00:12:30,172
Okay. So, let's get right to it.
251
00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,899
Okay.
252
00:12:30,196 --> 00:12:32,536
I already created
characters for you both.
253
00:12:30,925 --> 00:12:33,685
- Malcolm.
- Yes.
254
00:12:32,562 --> 00:12:35,962
You are Shadow Fang, a fighter elf.
255
00:12:33,708 --> 00:12:41,038
You're a little tiny-ass elf!
256
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:43,828
Actually, Dad,
257
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,820
it's a common misconception
that elves are little.
258
00:12:43,851 --> 00:12:47,551
They're actually known for being tall
259
00:12:45,841 --> 00:12:49,041
and lean and extremely dexterous.
260
00:12:47,576 --> 00:12:50,846
Oh. Okay. Well, in that case,
261
00:12:49,070 --> 00:12:52,650
I guess I'm an elf, too.
262
00:12:50,874 --> 00:12:55,284
It's too late. You a tiny-ass dwarf.
263
00:12:52,668 --> 00:13:00,668
And my name is Galumpkin?
264
00:12:58,587 --> 00:13:03,507
Yes! Galumpkin the Great,
king of the dwarves.
265
00:13:00,695 --> 00:13:04,865
You're an eighth-level barbarian
266
00:13:03,527 --> 00:13:06,487
who fights with an enchanted battle ax.
267
00:13:04,887 --> 00:13:09,637
Well, all right! Okay.
268
00:13:06,674 --> 00:13:11,244
All right, so, who you gonna be, Marty?
269
00:13:09,657 --> 00:13:12,627
Oh, no, I'm not one of the characters.
270
00:13:11,274 --> 00:13:14,334
I am the Dungeon Master,
271
00:13:12,646 --> 00:13:15,806
the all-knowing, omnipotent guide
272
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:17,340
through your epic journey.
273
00:13:15,833 --> 00:13:19,933
And I get to wear this hat.
274
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:35,130
Hey, there.
275
00:13:33,662 --> 00:13:36,592
Oh, hi, Tina.
276
00:13:35,154 --> 00:13:38,994
Damn, Dave, what happened to you?
277
00:13:37,472 --> 00:13:41,292
Somebody whup your ass?
278
00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:43,468
No.
279
00:13:42,033 --> 00:13:46,053
I went to talk things
out with Justin's dad,
280
00:13:43,492 --> 00:13:49,252
but he took a swing at me,
so I had to fight back.
281
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:50,960
Wow, Dave.
282
00:13:49,459 --> 00:13:52,569
I didn't know you had it in you.
283
00:13:50,985 --> 00:13:54,545
So, you won?
284
00:13:52,588 --> 00:13:59,218
I totally kicked his ass.
285
00:13:56,721 --> 00:14:01,721
Well, good for you
286
00:14:00,071 --> 00:14:04,141
for doing something incredibly stupid.
287
00:14:01,751 --> 00:14:07,891
He hit me first.
288
00:14:06,493 --> 00:14:10,203
Oh, yeah.
289
00:14:08,810 --> 00:14:12,310
You know, that was
always my excuse, too.
290
00:14:10,235 --> 00:14:13,905
Or "I didn't do it!"
291
00:14:12,331 --> 00:14:16,941
Or "Karen stuffed her own head
in the toilet!" I mean...
292
00:14:13,935 --> 00:14:20,025
What was I supposed to do?
Just walk away?
293
00:14:17,645 --> 00:14:23,065
Look, I feel you,
Dave, but think about Gemma.
294
00:14:20,053 --> 00:14:25,513
What if this gets out
to the other parents?
295
00:14:23,088 --> 00:14:27,908
This undermines her
credibility at work.
296
00:14:25,538 --> 00:14:30,068
She could lose her job.
297
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:33,048
I know. You're right.
298
00:14:30,979 --> 00:14:34,779
I-I got to fix this.
299
00:14:33,072 --> 00:14:36,822
It's all right. I'm
sure you'll find a way.
300
00:14:34,797 --> 00:14:39,007
Thanks, Tina.
301
00:14:37,521 --> 00:14:40,591
Hey, so, what did Karen do
302
00:14:39,274 --> 00:14:42,334
to make you stuff her
head in the toilet?
303
00:14:40,622 --> 00:14:44,782
She gave me a "C" on a test.
304
00:14:42,395 --> 00:14:50,705
Okay. You finally emerge
305
00:14:48,484 --> 00:14:53,454
from the mountain pass into a clearing,
306
00:14:50,732 --> 00:14:54,882
where you discover...
307
00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:56,296
a stone giant!
308
00:14:54,907 --> 00:14:57,987
Damn it. Malcolm,
309
00:14:56,579 --> 00:15:00,449
I told you what made those footprints.
310
00:14:58,010 --> 00:15:03,390
Well, look, Pop, there's no way
we can beat a stone giant.
311
00:15:00,986 --> 00:15:05,596
Let's just backtrack
and go the other way.
312
00:15:03,408 --> 00:15:07,098
Are you kidding me?
313
00:15:05,639 --> 00:15:09,629
And go back through the
Swamp of Lost Souls?
314
00:15:07,165 --> 00:15:11,475
I'm not going back there.
315
00:15:09,649 --> 00:15:15,509
Look, come on, Pop.
Let's just run away.
316
00:15:13,334 --> 00:15:17,594
No. No, no, man.
317
00:15:15,526 --> 00:15:20,056
We can beat this fool right here.
318
00:15:17,616 --> 00:15:21,626
You know what?
319
00:15:20,215 --> 00:15:23,225
I drink a potion of strength
320
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:26,184
while I cast a spell of confusion
321
00:15:23,246 --> 00:15:28,726
while attacking with
my enchanted battle ax!
322
00:15:26,209 --> 00:15:30,209
Yeah.
323
00:15:28,750 --> 00:15:33,840
Watch out, giant. Here come the pain!
324
00:15:30,532 --> 00:15:36,722
That's a one. You die.
325
00:15:34,947 --> 00:15:40,077
What?
326
00:15:38,574 --> 00:15:42,324
No, that can't be right, man.
I'm Galumpkin.
327
00:15:40,102 --> 00:15:44,932
G-Love! The Lump Dawg!
328
00:15:42,349 --> 00:15:47,559
I'm sorry, Dad. The dice don't lie.
329
00:15:45,792 --> 00:15:49,972
Well, we not giving up.
Ain't that right, Malcolm?
330
00:15:47,584 --> 00:15:51,764
Peace out, Lump Dawg.
331
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:56,230
All right, thanks for playing, Dad.
332
00:15:54,304 --> 00:15:58,234
Wh-What do you mean,
"Thanks for playing"?
333
00:15:56,249 --> 00:16:00,689
You can't talk to the king
of the dwarves like that.
334
00:15:58,256 --> 00:16:02,486
Come on, run it back.
335
00:16:00,706 --> 00:16:04,936
No, you don't have to.
336
00:16:03,093 --> 00:16:08,323
I know I don't have to, but I want to.
337
00:16:05,177 --> 00:16:11,777
Yeah, but you two always make
fun of me for this stuff.
338
00:16:09,444 --> 00:16:14,044
Yeah, I know.
339
00:16:12,510 --> 00:16:15,690
But, uh...
340
00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:18,303
you know, sometimes I, uh...
341
00:16:15,916 --> 00:16:20,036
You know me.
342
00:16:18,705 --> 00:16:23,065
You know, I don't say
things that, uh...
343
00:16:20,064 --> 00:16:28,094
You know what I'm saying?
344
00:16:26,574 --> 00:16:30,234
You know what I mean?
345
00:16:28,125 --> 00:16:34,135
Dad...
346
00:16:32,795 --> 00:16:36,695
that is the nicest thing
you ever said to me.
347
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:44,131
Well, I meant every word, son.
348
00:16:41,523 --> 00:16:47,653
Look, Marty,
349
00:16:45,513 --> 00:16:49,413
look, I don't want to be your bully.
350
00:16:47,788 --> 00:16:51,898
I'm your father, all right?
And I love you.
351
00:16:49,436 --> 00:16:53,766
- I love you, too.
- Come on, then.
352
00:16:51,921 --> 00:16:55,911
Come on, boy.
353
00:16:53,787 --> 00:17:02,867
I really appreciate you
doing this with me.
354
00:17:00,885 --> 00:17:04,425
It means a lot.
355
00:17:02,905 --> 00:17:06,025
Good. Good.
356
00:17:04,454 --> 00:17:07,554
All right, now, sit your ass back down
357
00:17:06,053 --> 00:17:10,043
and put your stupid hat on. Let's go.
358
00:17:07,583 --> 00:17:19,073
Thank you for coming
in, and please know
359
00:17:17,109 --> 00:17:21,739
I take this situation very seriously.
360
00:17:19,101 --> 00:17:24,561
You should. First, your
kid assaults Justin,
361
00:17:21,756 --> 00:17:26,386
then your husband attacks me.
362
00:17:24,587 --> 00:17:30,027
Apparently, our family isn't
safe at school or at home.
363
00:17:26,827 --> 00:17:32,507
I understand, but I assure you,
364
00:17:30,581 --> 00:17:34,751
Justin and you are completely safe.
365
00:17:32,530 --> 00:17:36,150
Hello.
366
00:17:34,780 --> 00:17:41,390
Dave, what are you doing here?
367
00:17:39,724 --> 00:17:42,474
I'm looking for Ed.
368
00:17:41,412 --> 00:17:43,732
I told you he was crazy.
369
00:17:42,504 --> 00:17:46,744
I just came to apologize.
370
00:17:44,780 --> 00:17:49,300
I never should have let things
escalate the way that they did.
371
00:17:46,772 --> 00:17:50,802
Well, you should have thought of that
372
00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:53,119
before you beat him with his own shoe.
373
00:17:50,831 --> 00:17:57,651
Okay, clearly, mistakes were made,
374
00:17:54,838 --> 00:18:00,078
and we all have a lot of healing to do.
375
00:17:57,679 --> 00:18:04,029
Really? Is anyone else getting
their stitches out on Friday?
376
00:18:00,096 --> 00:18:08,296
We didn't come here
377
00:18:06,801 --> 00:18:10,201
for an apology.
378
00:18:08,323 --> 00:18:12,803
We came here to tell you that
we're contacting a lawyer.
379
00:18:10,227 --> 00:18:14,167
And after we're done,
380
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:16,550
you're not going to be able
to get a job anywhere.
381
00:18:14,190 --> 00:18:17,880
Okay, wait a second.
382
00:18:16,575 --> 00:18:18,925
Dave, let me handle this.
383
00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:20,550
No. Your husband and your son
384
00:18:18,952 --> 00:18:22,532
are a couple of animals.
385
00:18:20,573 --> 00:18:24,813
"Animals"?
386
00:18:23,425 --> 00:18:26,995
You heard me. Let's go, Ed.
387
00:18:24,845 --> 00:18:28,225
Dave.
388
00:18:27,017 --> 00:18:30,487
Uh, we should hear her out.
389
00:18:28,251 --> 00:18:35,911
Here's what's gonna happen.
390
00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:38,270
Grover's going to be
suspended for fighting.
391
00:18:35,942 --> 00:18:41,062
Justin's going to be
suspended for bullying.
392
00:18:38,429 --> 00:18:43,159
- But...
- Did I call on you?
393
00:18:41,089 --> 00:18:47,709
As a show of good will,
394
00:18:45,962 --> 00:18:49,562
Dave is not gonna press
charges against Ed
395
00:18:47,735 --> 00:18:51,115
for attacking him first.
396
00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:53,857
And in return, you won't
press charges against Dave
397
00:18:51,137 --> 00:18:55,937
for making Ed his bitch.
398
00:18:53,879 --> 00:19:03,049
That's it.
399
00:19:01,653 --> 00:19:04,983
I'm calling the board of trustees.
400
00:19:03,072 --> 00:19:08,582
Fine. And I'm calling the IRS
to report you for tax evasion.
401
00:19:05,006 --> 00:19:10,236
What are you talking about?
402
00:19:08,609 --> 00:19:12,539
I'm talking about how
your seven-year-old son
403
00:19:10,264 --> 00:19:14,654
is the registered owner
of a 20-foot sailboat
404
00:19:12,557 --> 00:19:16,527
named Take it Sleazy.
405
00:19:14,683 --> 00:19:21,463
It was all her idea.
406
00:19:19,517 --> 00:19:25,957
You know what?
407
00:19:24,216 --> 00:19:27,926
Things did get out of hand,
408
00:19:25,984 --> 00:19:31,194
but it sounds like you've got
the situation under control.
409
00:19:27,950 --> 00:19:34,380
Finally, we agree on something.
410
00:19:32,389 --> 00:19:35,859
C-Can we...
411
00:19:34,404 --> 00:19:37,854
You may go.
412
00:19:35,877 --> 00:19:48,467
That was amazing.
413
00:19:46,189 --> 00:19:49,779
Thank you.
414
00:19:48,495 --> 00:19:51,345
How'd you know about the boat?
415
00:19:49,797 --> 00:19:52,827
Justin's not just a bully.
416
00:19:51,367 --> 00:19:54,287
He's also a blabbermouth.
417
00:19:52,846 --> 00:19:56,826
And, word on the
playground, a bedwetter.
418
00:19:54,310 --> 00:20:01,950
I can't believe how well
you kept your cool.
419
00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:04,151
You know, apparently, Calvin was wrong.
420
00:20:01,969 --> 00:20:06,629
Not everyone has a breaking point.
421
00:20:04,383 --> 00:20:09,493
Oh, no. If she had said one
more word about you or Grover,
422
00:20:06,650 --> 00:20:12,240
that ho would've been on the flo'.
423
00:20:09,517 --> 00:20:20,867
Congratulations adventurers.
424
00:20:18,646 --> 00:20:23,376
You found the exit to the
Labyrinth of Despair.
425
00:20:20,890 --> 00:20:25,040
You emerge into the light.
426
00:20:23,404 --> 00:20:26,984
- Boom! Yeah!
- Yes!
427
00:20:25,065 --> 00:20:30,085
But your path has been blocked
428
00:20:28,174 --> 00:20:31,594
by a man-eating ogre!
429
00:20:30,111 --> 00:20:33,311
- What?
- Come on!
430
00:20:31,617 --> 00:20:36,677
What do you do?
431
00:20:34,663 --> 00:20:39,633
I say we try reasoning with him.
432
00:20:37,741 --> 00:20:40,771
Let's lay down our weapons
433
00:20:39,661 --> 00:20:43,231
and let him know that we come in peace.
434
00:20:40,796 --> 00:20:45,136
Good plan.
435
00:20:43,702 --> 00:20:47,092
Good plan. Like it.
436
00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:49,061
I'm gonna go ahead and kill Dave.
437
00:20:47,506 --> 00:20:53,876
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