1
00:00:07,898 --> 00:00:09,338
[knocking]
2
00:00:13,382 --> 00:00:14,732
Oh, hey, Calvin.
What's up?
3
00:00:14,774 --> 00:00:17,084
Hey, can I borrow some milk
for my cereal?
4
00:00:17,125 --> 00:00:19,215
Malcolm used up all of ours.
5
00:00:19,257 --> 00:00:20,777
But your bowl's empty.
6
00:00:20,824 --> 00:00:22,954
Yeah, he finished
all the cereal, too.
7
00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:26,357
Do you have anything
that's magically delicious?
8
00:00:27,874 --> 00:00:30,484
Yeah, sure. Let me get you
some of Grover's good stuff.
9
00:00:30,529 --> 00:00:32,139
You want
the sugar-free quinoa flakes
10
00:00:32,183 --> 00:00:34,403
or the date-sweetened
fiber puffs?
11
00:00:35,447 --> 00:00:36,967
I'll take a banana.
12
00:00:38,146 --> 00:00:40,106
Oh, yeah, L.A. is way different
13
00:00:40,148 --> 00:00:41,938
than Hickory Corners--
it's always sunny,
14
00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:44,025
there's tons of culture,
15
00:00:44,065 --> 00:00:47,765
and nobody grocery shops
shirtless.
16
00:00:47,807 --> 00:00:49,807
[quietly]:
Honey, who is that?My sister.
17
00:00:49,853 --> 00:00:51,503
Brittany?
18
00:00:51,550 --> 00:00:53,300
Do not give her money,
19
00:00:53,335 --> 00:00:55,165
and do not invite her here.
20
00:00:55,206 --> 00:00:57,336
Of course! We'd love
for you to visit.
21
00:00:57,382 --> 00:00:59,292
No! N...
22
00:00:59,341 --> 00:01:00,771
[loudly]:
Hey, uh, Gemma,
23
00:01:00,820 --> 00:01:02,960
did you read this article
on California earthquakes?
24
00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:05,996
They say the big one
is coming any day now.
25
00:01:07,349 --> 00:01:09,089
[loudly]: I wouldn't
worry about that.
26
00:01:10,178 --> 00:01:12,268
I've lived in California
my whole life.
27
00:01:12,310 --> 00:01:14,620
Never been hurt
in an earthquake.
28
00:01:14,660 --> 00:01:16,140
[quietly]:
What are you doing?
29
00:01:16,184 --> 00:01:17,884
That's for your sucky cereal.
30
00:01:19,056 --> 00:01:21,846
All right, well,
love you, too. Bye.
31
00:01:21,885 --> 00:01:23,975
Wow, Dave, there's
actually someone out there
32
00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:25,107
you don't like?
33
00:01:25,149 --> 00:01:27,069
What's her secret?
34
00:01:27,108 --> 00:01:29,108
Calvin, you don't understand.
35
00:01:30,589 --> 00:01:32,509
Gemma's sister is
a total disaster.
36
00:01:32,548 --> 00:01:34,948
She flakes on everything,
nothing's ever her fault,
37
00:01:34,985 --> 00:01:37,905
and the only time
we ever hear from her is
when she needs something.
38
00:01:37,944 --> 00:01:40,074
That's not true.Oh, yeah?
What about the time
39
00:01:40,121 --> 00:01:41,201
she asked you for a kidney?
40
00:01:41,252 --> 00:01:43,512
That's not fair.
It wasn't even for her.
41
00:01:44,995 --> 00:01:47,955
O-Okay, okay, so she's
still figuring her life out.
42
00:01:47,998 --> 00:01:50,528
But she's got a good heart.Yeah, which she probably
43
00:01:50,566 --> 00:01:52,046
suckered someone
into giving her.
44
00:01:53,830 --> 00:01:56,180
You know, she sounds like
Tina's cousin Lamar,
45
00:01:56,224 --> 00:01:58,184
who she found out
wasn't her cousin,
46
00:01:58,226 --> 00:01:59,796
or named Lamar.
47
00:01:59,836 --> 00:02:01,446
[doorbell rings]
48
00:02:01,490 --> 00:02:03,320
Well, then you know
what I'm talking about
49
00:02:03,361 --> 00:02:05,361
and why the last person
I want here
50
00:02:05,407 --> 00:02:07,057
is... Oh, Brittany.
51
00:02:07,104 --> 00:02:08,234
Surprise!
52
00:02:08,279 --> 00:02:09,419
Brittany!
53
00:02:09,454 --> 00:02:10,494
Oh, my God!
54
00:02:11,587 --> 00:02:13,027
Forget the banana.
55
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:16,116
Thisis magically delicious.
56
00:02:16,157 --> 00:02:18,077
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
57
00:02:18,115 --> 00:02:19,115
♪ Welcome to the hood.
58
00:02:23,947 --> 00:02:25,997
I can't believe
you're really here.
59
00:02:26,036 --> 00:02:27,426
Thought it'd be
a fun surprise.
60
00:02:27,472 --> 00:02:30,212
[chuckles] Like when you
showed up on our honeymoon.
61
00:02:30,258 --> 00:02:32,218
That was the best
two weeks ever.
62
00:02:32,260 --> 00:02:34,270
Thanks again for
bailing me out.
63
00:02:35,611 --> 00:02:38,431
Mexican jails are no bueno.
64
00:02:38,483 --> 00:02:41,223
Uh, so, Brittany,
what brings you here?
65
00:02:41,269 --> 00:02:44,229
I know it wasn't Greyhound,
because they banned you.
66
00:02:44,272 --> 00:02:46,222
I've always wanted to
come to California,
67
00:02:46,274 --> 00:02:48,494
and I finally finished
dental hygiene school.[gasps]
68
00:02:48,537 --> 00:02:51,667
You graduated?
Congratulations!
69
00:02:51,714 --> 00:02:53,064
Oh, no, I didn't
say I graduated.
70
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:54,196
I just stopped going.
71
00:02:56,066 --> 00:02:59,026
Uh, uh, what about the money
we gave you for tuition?
72
00:02:59,069 --> 00:03:00,379
Oh, don't worry,
I used it,
73
00:03:00,418 --> 00:03:01,898
and I enrolled in
a cosmetology course.
74
00:03:01,941 --> 00:03:03,681
Oh, that's great.
How's it going?
75
00:03:03,726 --> 00:03:04,816
Oh, I quit that, too.
76
00:03:04,857 --> 00:03:06,947
They wanted me to go
four days a week,
77
00:03:06,990 --> 00:03:09,130
and it's, like, I want
to be a cosmetologist,
78
00:03:09,166 --> 00:03:10,736
not a doctor.
79
00:03:10,776 --> 00:03:14,126
Okay, well, it was great
of you to stop by on your way
80
00:03:14,171 --> 00:03:15,381
to somewhere else.
81
00:03:17,087 --> 00:03:18,527
Actually, I was kind of
hoping I could hang here
82
00:03:18,567 --> 00:03:19,957
until I figured out
my next move?
83
00:03:20,003 --> 00:03:21,393
Of course.
You're my little sister.
84
00:03:21,439 --> 00:03:23,529
You can stay
as long as you want.
85
00:03:23,572 --> 00:03:26,222
Cool. So, where am I crashing?
86
00:03:26,270 --> 00:03:28,540
You can sleep in my room.
I have bunk beds.
87
00:03:28,577 --> 00:03:30,577
Ha-ha! It'll be like
we're cellmates.
88
00:03:33,016 --> 00:03:35,236
[sighs]
Hey, Dave.
89
00:03:35,279 --> 00:03:38,199
How's the new roommate
working out?
90
00:03:38,239 --> 00:03:41,249
Are you as miserable as I hope?
91
00:03:41,285 --> 00:03:43,245
Even worse.
92
00:03:43,287 --> 00:03:46,157
She has been here one day,
and she already broke the oven,
93
00:03:46,203 --> 00:03:48,593
erased our DVR,
and this morning...
94
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:52,260
[sighs] she used my
karate gi as a bathrobe.
95
00:03:52,296 --> 00:03:55,736
Dave, you got yourself
a freeloader on your hands.
96
00:03:55,778 --> 00:03:58,438
And it's your own fault
for putting up with it.
97
00:03:58,476 --> 00:04:00,216
What am I supposed to do?
She's Gemma's sister.
98
00:04:00,261 --> 00:04:01,871
Family doesn't get a pass.
99
00:04:01,914 --> 00:04:04,224
I don't care
if she was my mama.
100
00:04:04,265 --> 00:04:06,965
Calvin Butler would nip
that nonsense in the bud.
101
00:04:07,006 --> 00:04:08,316
Kee-ya!
102
00:04:08,356 --> 00:04:09,396
Ha!
103
00:04:09,444 --> 00:04:11,444
Hey, guys.
104
00:04:11,489 --> 00:04:12,929
Oh, Pop, just a heads-up.
105
00:04:12,969 --> 00:04:14,409
I went over
the family data limit,
106
00:04:14,449 --> 00:04:16,459
so the phone bill's gonna be
a little bit high.
107
00:04:16,494 --> 00:04:19,844
[chuckles]: Lot of great fights
on YouTube this month.
108
00:04:19,889 --> 00:04:22,239
Well, good thing you...
109
00:04:22,283 --> 00:04:24,453
nipped thatnonsense
in the bud.
110
00:04:24,502 --> 00:04:26,282
Oh, and,
111
00:04:26,330 --> 00:04:29,120
uh, for the
record, it's...
112
00:04:29,159 --> 00:04:30,379
Kee-ya!
113
00:04:36,514 --> 00:04:38,864
Hey, Ma, is it cool if I
borrow your car tonight?
114
00:04:38,908 --> 00:04:41,308
Oh, sure, baby.
But it's just about out of gas.
115
00:04:41,345 --> 00:04:42,785
Oh, don't worry,
I got you.
116
00:04:42,825 --> 00:04:44,395
Where's your gas card?
117
00:04:45,393 --> 00:04:47,303
Hergas card?
118
00:04:47,351 --> 00:04:51,181
You do know
they take yourcash?
119
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:54,444
Yeah, Pop, but then Mom
wouldn't get herpoints.
120
00:04:54,489 --> 00:04:56,799
Yeah, Calvin-- why are you
trying to take my points?
121
00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:59,189
What are they even for?
122
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:01,142
I don't know,
but they're mine
and I want 'em.
123
00:05:01,191 --> 00:05:02,971
Yeah.
124
00:05:03,019 --> 00:05:04,679
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
125
00:05:04,716 --> 00:05:06,026
Uh, what are you doing?
126
00:05:06,065 --> 00:05:07,975
I'm getting a piece
of garlic bread.
127
00:05:08,024 --> 00:05:10,194
Yeah, but the middle piece?
128
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,413
That's the one with the best
crust-to-butter ratio.
129
00:05:13,421 --> 00:05:15,201
Fine. What's the big deal, man?
130
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:16,168
It's just bread.
131
00:05:16,206 --> 00:05:17,816
Oh, "it's just bread."
132
00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:20,210
Bread that you didn't buy
or that you didn't cook.
133
00:05:21,429 --> 00:05:23,169
Well, Calvin,
you didn't cook it, either.
134
00:05:23,213 --> 00:05:25,173
I'm trying
to make a point, Tina.
135
00:05:25,215 --> 00:05:27,395
Oh. So now you want your
points?
136
00:05:27,435 --> 00:05:29,215
[sighs]:
Uh, look...
137
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,262
he's had a job for a while now,
138
00:05:31,308 --> 00:05:33,838
and it's just time for him
to stop being a freeloader.
139
00:05:34,659 --> 00:05:36,009
A freeloader?
140
00:05:36,052 --> 00:05:38,572
Yeah. You know, I'm tired
of him not chipping in,
141
00:05:38,620 --> 00:05:41,710
so I'm nipping it in the bud
right now. Kee-ya!
142
00:05:43,059 --> 00:05:44,329
Calvin,
143
00:05:44,365 --> 00:05:45,405
Malcolm is not a freeloader.
144
00:05:45,453 --> 00:05:47,233
He's just trying
to get on his feet.
145
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,160
Well, what he needs to do
is go in his wallet
146
00:05:49,195 --> 00:05:50,585
and give me some bread
for this bread.
147
00:05:50,632 --> 00:05:52,632
You know what? Fine.
148
00:05:52,677 --> 00:05:54,287
If that's the way you want it.
149
00:05:54,331 --> 00:05:55,981
Look. Here you go.
150
00:05:57,378 --> 00:05:59,428
Five dollars?
151
00:05:59,467 --> 00:06:01,297
That's all I have on me.
152
00:06:01,338 --> 00:06:03,128
Oh. Well, in that case...
153
00:06:04,428 --> 00:06:05,868
Enjoy your salad.
154
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:11,693
[door opens]
155
00:06:11,740 --> 00:06:14,270
Oh. Hey.
I didn't think you were home.
156
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:15,837
Your car isn't out front.
157
00:06:15,874 --> 00:06:18,264
Oh, yeah. Brittany took it
to go get coffee.
158
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:19,961
You let her borrow your car?
159
00:06:20,009 --> 00:06:21,799
That is so nice.
160
00:06:21,837 --> 00:06:24,317
Oh, I didn't say "borrow."
I said "took."
161
00:06:25,536 --> 00:06:28,496
Along with $20
and my favorite sunglasses.
162
00:06:28,539 --> 00:06:30,719
Dave, she's my
little sister.
163
00:06:30,759 --> 00:06:31,979
What do you want me to do?
164
00:06:32,021 --> 00:06:35,371
I want you
to stop enabling her.
165
00:06:35,416 --> 00:06:37,026
The reason she quits
everything that she does
166
00:06:37,069 --> 00:06:39,769
is she knows that you'll be
right there to bail her out.
167
00:06:39,811 --> 00:06:42,461
Sometimes literally.
168
00:06:42,510 --> 00:06:44,390
Dave, I'm not
enabling here.
169
00:06:44,425 --> 00:06:46,035
I'm being supportive.
170
00:06:46,078 --> 00:06:48,388
Things just don't come
as easily to her.
171
00:06:48,429 --> 00:06:49,959
Okay. Well,
just so you know,
172
00:06:49,995 --> 00:06:52,215
Grover said her Ouija
board spelled out
173
00:06:52,258 --> 00:06:54,308
"lend Brittany money"
last night.
174
00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:59,230
Look, it's not like
she's staying forever.
175
00:06:59,265 --> 00:07:01,175
We both know
in a few days
176
00:07:01,224 --> 00:07:02,574
she'll get bored and take off
177
00:07:02,617 --> 00:07:04,447
right after she asks
for a clean urine sample.
178
00:07:06,534 --> 00:07:08,274
Hey, guys. Guess what?
179
00:07:08,318 --> 00:07:09,538
You lost my sunglasses?
180
00:07:09,580 --> 00:07:10,670
Yep, that, too.
181
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,500
What I meant was,
I finally figured out
182
00:07:13,541 --> 00:07:15,321
what I'm gonna do with my life.
183
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:17,509
I'm gonna be an actor.
184
00:07:21,940 --> 00:07:23,860
What?
[laughs awkwardly]
185
00:07:23,899 --> 00:07:25,379
I was in the
coffee shop
186
00:07:25,422 --> 00:07:26,942
and I was arguing
with the barista
187
00:07:26,989 --> 00:07:29,079
of whether or not
I brought the tip jar with me,
188
00:07:29,121 --> 00:07:31,161
when...
189
00:07:31,210 --> 00:07:32,960
this talent agent comes up,
and he says
190
00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:35,515
he's going to make me...
a star.
191
00:07:35,563 --> 00:07:36,733
Oh.
192
00:07:36,781 --> 00:07:38,951
Oh, sweetie,
I know that sounds exciting,
193
00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:41,561
but I'm not sure that
that's the way it works.
194
00:07:41,612 --> 00:07:43,872
Oh, uh, she's right.
It's a scam.
195
00:07:43,919 --> 00:07:46,489
Con artists preying
on naive dreamers.
196
00:07:46,530 --> 00:07:48,970
I was devastated.
197
00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:50,921
No, this guy's totally legit.
198
00:07:50,969 --> 00:07:53,539
He already got me an audition
for a commercial tomorrow.
199
00:07:53,581 --> 00:07:54,751
Really?
200
00:07:54,799 --> 00:07:56,019
Yeah.
[giggles]
201
00:07:56,061 --> 00:07:57,491
So looks like I'm here to stay.
202
00:07:58,586 --> 00:07:59,896
Huh.
203
00:07:59,935 --> 00:08:01,415
You hear that?
204
00:08:01,458 --> 00:08:02,858
She's here to stay.
205
00:08:04,243 --> 00:08:05,543
Whew!
206
00:08:05,593 --> 00:08:08,333
And we are here
to be supportive.
207
00:08:10,641 --> 00:08:12,591
BRITTANY:
This is so exciting!
208
00:08:12,643 --> 00:08:15,033
I'm gonna go practice my lines
up in my room.
209
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,000
Now, that'sa
juicy burger.
210
00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:19,569
[affected]:
Now, that's a juicy burger!
211
00:08:19,607 --> 00:08:21,397
That's a juicy...
212
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:23,614
This is a disaster.
213
00:08:23,654 --> 00:08:25,434
Dave, it's not as bad
as it seems.
214
00:08:25,482 --> 00:08:28,482
Yes, it is.
Those were my sunglasses!
215
00:08:29,704 --> 00:08:30,924
It should've been me!
216
00:08:34,491 --> 00:08:35,921
Oh, that looks tasty.
217
00:08:35,971 --> 00:08:37,401
Salami and cheese?
218
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,590
Oh, yeah,
and all the fixings.
219
00:08:39,627 --> 00:08:41,677
Great. That'll be seven bucks.
220
00:08:41,716 --> 00:08:42,896
[chuckles]
221
00:08:42,934 --> 00:08:45,584
You can make it a combo
for a dollar more.
222
00:08:45,633 --> 00:08:47,113
[both chuckle]
223
00:08:47,156 --> 00:08:49,856
You know, actually, Pop,
what you said last night
224
00:08:49,898 --> 00:08:51,818
made a whole lot of sense.
225
00:08:51,856 --> 00:08:53,596
I shouldn't be eating your food.
226
00:08:53,641 --> 00:08:55,591
So I went out
and I bought my own.
227
00:08:55,643 --> 00:08:58,033
Okay. Steppin' up, like I asked.
228
00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:01,130
You know what?
Fix me one of those, and, um,
229
00:09:01,170 --> 00:09:02,390
make it a combo.
230
00:09:02,432 --> 00:09:03,862
[chuckles]
231
00:09:03,912 --> 00:09:05,562
You know, I would, Pop,
232
00:09:05,609 --> 00:09:09,009
but this is all stuff
I bought myself. You see?
233
00:09:09,047 --> 00:09:11,617
I put my name on it.
[chuckles]
234
00:09:11,659 --> 00:09:13,059
Okay.
235
00:09:13,095 --> 00:09:15,405
You're putting your
name on meat now?
236
00:09:15,445 --> 00:09:17,485
Who are you, Oscar Mayer?
237
00:09:18,796 --> 00:09:21,016
Yeah, well, this way,
you eat yourfood
238
00:09:21,059 --> 00:09:23,149
and I eat mine.
Mm-hmm!
239
00:09:23,192 --> 00:09:25,542
You know what?
That is a good idea.
240
00:09:25,586 --> 00:09:27,636
Mm.Maybe I should start putting
241
00:09:27,675 --> 00:09:30,505
my name on stuff
I paid for.
242
00:09:30,547 --> 00:09:31,637
Okay.
[chuckles]
243
00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:33,599
Look at that-- looks like
244
00:09:33,637 --> 00:09:34,767
your sandwich
245
00:09:34,812 --> 00:09:36,112
is on my plate.
246
00:09:37,598 --> 00:09:39,598
Well, lucky for me,
247
00:09:39,643 --> 00:09:41,383
this meal is handheld.
248
00:09:41,427 --> 00:09:44,087
That islucky for you.
249
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:47,046
But what is not lucky for you
is that your food...
250
00:09:47,085 --> 00:09:49,085
is in my fridge.
251
00:09:51,568 --> 00:09:53,788
Not a problem.
I'll get a mini fridge
252
00:09:53,831 --> 00:09:55,261
for my room.
253
00:09:55,311 --> 00:09:57,391
Yes. A problem.
254
00:09:57,443 --> 00:09:59,053
Because...
255
00:09:59,097 --> 00:10:03,447
your room is in my house.
256
00:10:03,493 --> 00:10:06,493
Well, in that case,
maybe I need a place of my own.
257
00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:08,679
Maybe you do.
258
00:10:08,716 --> 00:10:10,456
Well, maybe I should go look
for one right now.
259
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:12,810
Maybe you should.
260
00:10:12,850 --> 00:10:14,730
You know what? Fine.
261
00:10:17,812 --> 00:10:20,332
[ringtone playing]
262
00:10:20,379 --> 00:10:21,689
Hello?
263
00:10:21,729 --> 00:10:24,299
CALVIN:
I just wanted to remind you...
264
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,388
...that's my phone.
265
00:10:37,266 --> 00:10:39,226
Well, I hope you're happy.[TV turns off]
266
00:10:39,268 --> 00:10:41,618
I just got off the
phone with Malcolm.
267
00:10:41,662 --> 00:10:43,572
He already found a place.
268
00:10:43,620 --> 00:10:46,500
So he's still using my phone?
269
00:10:46,536 --> 00:10:48,976
Calvin, your son is moving
into a one bedroom
270
00:10:49,017 --> 00:10:50,717
with four strangers
271
00:10:50,758 --> 00:10:53,588
all because the both of you
are too stubborn to back down.
272
00:10:53,630 --> 00:10:55,380
Me? Stubborn?
273
00:10:55,414 --> 00:10:57,674
I'll sit here all day
and argue that.
274
00:10:58,940 --> 00:11:00,820
Come on, Tina.
275
00:11:00,855 --> 00:11:02,945
Moving out is gonna
be good for him.
276
00:11:02,987 --> 00:11:04,907
How?
Well, for starters,
277
00:11:04,946 --> 00:11:06,206
with him out of the house,
278
00:11:06,251 --> 00:11:08,421
I don't have
to wear pants anymore.
279
00:11:08,471 --> 00:11:12,251
That's not good for him,
that's good for you.
280
00:11:12,301 --> 00:11:16,041
Well, actually,
it's good for you.
281
00:11:21,310 --> 00:11:24,750
You need to apologize
to your son and tell him
282
00:11:24,792 --> 00:11:26,832
he can stay, or
things are gonna
283
00:11:26,881 --> 00:11:28,271
get ugly around here.
284
00:11:28,317 --> 00:11:30,407
How ugly?
285
00:11:30,449 --> 00:11:32,669
Remember the Valentine's Day
you bought me a toaster?
286
00:11:32,713 --> 00:11:34,063
Uglier than that.
287
00:11:36,151 --> 00:11:37,891
[yawns]:
Good morning.
288
00:11:37,935 --> 00:11:41,855
Seriously? For the last time,
stop wearing my gi.
289
00:11:41,896 --> 00:11:45,376
It's a slap in the face
to Sensei Chad.
290
00:11:46,596 --> 00:11:48,376
So, how are you feeling?
291
00:11:48,424 --> 00:11:49,854
Are you ready
for your big audition?
292
00:11:49,904 --> 00:11:51,944
Oh, yeah, Grover and I
rehearsed all night.
293
00:11:51,993 --> 00:11:53,213
Check it out.
294
00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:57,175
Now, that's a tasty burger.
295
00:11:57,215 --> 00:11:59,435
I thought it was
a "juicy" burger?
296
00:11:59,478 --> 00:12:00,698
Yeah, but I decided "juicy"
297
00:12:00,741 --> 00:12:03,871
isn't a word
my character would use.
298
00:12:03,918 --> 00:12:07,798
And yet, you have it tattooed
on your lower back.
299
00:12:07,835 --> 00:12:09,615
So, what time
do you have to be there?
300
00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:10,532
Not until 9:00.
301
00:12:10,576 --> 00:12:12,886
Brittany! It's 8:45.
302
00:12:12,927 --> 00:12:14,977
Oh, my God, you're right.
Okay, I'm just gonna eat
303
00:12:15,016 --> 00:12:16,666
something really quick
and then we'll go.
304
00:12:16,713 --> 00:12:18,453
Where's your pancake mix?What? No! No, no, no.
305
00:12:18,497 --> 00:12:20,677
No, no, no, no.
No pancakes.
306
00:12:20,717 --> 00:12:23,677
Go put on some clothes. If we
hurry, we can still make it.
307
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:26,070
Fine. I'll meet you in the car.
308
00:12:26,114 --> 00:12:28,374
We'll just hit up a
drive-through on the way there.
309
00:12:33,904 --> 00:12:34,904
Hey.
310
00:12:34,949 --> 00:12:36,349
Hey.
311
00:12:36,385 --> 00:12:37,825
I got some boxes,
312
00:12:37,865 --> 00:12:39,695
so I'll be out of your way
by tonight.
313
00:12:39,736 --> 00:12:43,656
Look, about that, um,
314
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:45,656
things got a little
out of hand yesterday,
315
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:48,918
so you don't have to move out
if you don't want to.
316
00:12:48,963 --> 00:12:51,093
Oh, thank you, Pop. You know,
I've been feeling bad
317
00:12:51,139 --> 00:12:53,579
about the way things
went down, too.
318
00:12:53,619 --> 00:12:57,669
Great. Well, go tell your mom
I said all that sensitive crap.
319
00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:59,850
And, uh,
320
00:12:59,887 --> 00:13:01,677
you know, tell her we hugged.
[chuckles]
321
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:03,754
She'll eat that stuff up
right there.
322
00:13:05,544 --> 00:13:07,584
Wait, so you're only
saying you want me to stay
323
00:13:07,633 --> 00:13:09,023
because Mom made you?
324
00:13:09,070 --> 00:13:11,860
Yeah.
325
00:13:11,899 --> 00:13:14,989
You expect me to wear pants
the rest of my life?
326
00:13:16,251 --> 00:13:17,771
You know what?
Do whatever you want,
327
00:13:17,818 --> 00:13:19,818
because I'm not gonna
be here to see it.
328
00:13:19,863 --> 00:13:21,993
Really? You gonna act like that
329
00:13:22,039 --> 00:13:25,219
after I said everything
your mama made me say?
330
00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:28,399
I-I expected more from you.
331
00:13:28,437 --> 00:13:31,047
And this is exactly
what I expected from you.
332
00:13:31,092 --> 00:13:33,002
What is that supposed to mean?
333
00:13:33,050 --> 00:13:34,800
I don't know, ask Mom.
334
00:13:34,835 --> 00:13:37,835
Ha! Well, the joke's on you,
335
00:13:37,881 --> 00:13:40,011
because she's not talking to me.
336
00:13:43,713 --> 00:13:45,673
Oh, you're back.
337
00:13:45,715 --> 00:13:47,415
How'd the audition go?
338
00:13:47,456 --> 00:13:49,026
Not great.
339
00:13:49,066 --> 00:13:52,896
Brittany "accidentally" spilled
coffee on another actress
340
00:13:52,940 --> 00:13:56,250
and then asked the casting
director when the baby was due.
341
00:13:56,291 --> 00:13:59,161
Huh. She wasn't pregnant?
342
00:13:59,207 --> 00:14:01,207
No, hewasn't.
343
00:14:01,252 --> 00:14:02,862
Oh.
344
00:14:02,906 --> 00:14:04,776
Now that's a juicy burger.
345
00:14:07,302 --> 00:14:09,912
Dave, when she comes down,
please be nice to her.
346
00:14:09,957 --> 00:14:11,877
She's in a very fragile state
right now.
347
00:14:11,915 --> 00:14:13,875
Oh, I don't care
what state she's in,
348
00:14:13,917 --> 00:14:15,917
as long as it's not California.
349
00:14:15,963 --> 00:14:16,913
Dave.
350
00:14:16,964 --> 00:14:19,614
But I will be nice.
351
00:14:19,662 --> 00:14:21,752
Well, my agent just called.
352
00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:23,314
I'm sorry, sweetie.
353
00:14:23,361 --> 00:14:25,051
I know how much you wanted this.[sighs] Yeah.
354
00:14:25,102 --> 00:14:26,582
Don't be too hard on yourself.
355
00:14:26,625 --> 00:14:28,105
What are you guys talking about?
356
00:14:28,149 --> 00:14:29,419
I got the part.
357
00:14:29,454 --> 00:14:32,324
What?!
Of course.
358
00:14:32,370 --> 00:14:35,200
Yeah, they said they loved my
"spunky, unpredictable energy,"
359
00:14:35,243 --> 00:14:36,763
which is funny,
'cause that's exactly
360
00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:39,729
what my parole officer hated.
[chuckles]
361
00:14:39,769 --> 00:14:42,949
Wow. Uh, you did it.
Congratulations.
362
00:14:42,990 --> 00:14:46,040
Thanks. Too bad I had
to turn it down.
363
00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:47,960
What?Of course.
364
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:52,220
Why would you turn it down?
365
00:14:52,260 --> 00:14:54,010
Well, think about it.
366
00:14:54,044 --> 00:14:59,094
If I booked my first audition,
I am clearly a great actor.
367
00:14:59,136 --> 00:15:02,096
And great actors
don't do commercials.
368
00:15:04,054 --> 00:15:06,574
But this is a huge opportunity.
369
00:15:06,622 --> 00:15:08,232
You're just gonna throw it away?
370
00:15:08,276 --> 00:15:10,756
Yeah. Plus, they said
it was gonna air in Mexico,
371
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,550
and I've got
muchowarrants down there.
372
00:15:13,934 --> 00:15:15,894
You know what?
373
00:15:15,936 --> 00:15:17,026
Dave is right.
374
00:15:17,067 --> 00:15:19,507
I do enable you.
[laughs]
375
00:15:19,548 --> 00:15:22,028
I have given you
so many chances
376
00:15:22,072 --> 00:15:24,552
and made so many excuses
for you,
377
00:15:24,596 --> 00:15:26,556
and all you do is screw it up.
378
00:15:26,598 --> 00:15:28,078
But I am done.
379
00:15:28,122 --> 00:15:31,292
You need to get your stuff
and go home, now.
380
00:15:34,911 --> 00:15:37,471
I know. You're right.
381
00:15:37,522 --> 00:15:39,002
I'm a disaster.
382
00:15:39,046 --> 00:15:41,356
And the worst part is,
383
00:15:41,396 --> 00:15:42,966
I don't even know why.
384
00:15:43,006 --> 00:15:46,056
I-I quit anything I start,
385
00:15:46,096 --> 00:15:48,926
anything good in my life
I find a way to ruin.
386
00:15:48,969 --> 00:15:50,319
Even our relationship.
387
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:55,500
You're the best big sister
anybody could have,
388
00:15:55,540 --> 00:15:57,980
and all I do is I-I just
take advantage of you.
389
00:15:59,283 --> 00:16:04,673
I don't know what else to say,
but I'm... I'm sorry.
390
00:16:04,723 --> 00:16:06,943
I'm gonna go pack my things.
391
00:16:08,814 --> 00:16:10,034
Uh, Brittany, wait.
392
00:16:10,077 --> 00:16:11,037
I'm sorry I said that.
393
00:16:11,078 --> 00:16:12,948
Please, please, please don't go.
394
00:16:12,993 --> 00:16:14,423
Are you sure?
395
00:16:14,472 --> 00:16:17,032
Of course.
You're my little sister.
396
00:16:17,084 --> 00:16:19,124
And scene.
397
00:16:23,177 --> 00:16:25,047
Wait, what?
398
00:16:25,092 --> 00:16:26,612
[giggles]
399
00:16:26,658 --> 00:16:29,098
I told you. I am a great actor.
[giggles]
400
00:16:30,140 --> 00:16:31,800
You just made
all that up?
401
00:16:31,837 --> 00:16:34,707
Not all. I stole a few lines
from Gossip Girl.
402
00:16:34,753 --> 00:16:37,053
Oh, my God.Oh, my God.
403
00:16:37,104 --> 00:16:39,064
All right.
404
00:16:39,106 --> 00:16:42,066
That's it. You need
to leave... now.What?
405
00:16:42,109 --> 00:16:43,159
You heard me.Okay, but...
406
00:16:43,197 --> 00:16:44,987
No, I'm not giving you my pee.
407
00:16:46,069 --> 00:16:49,639
Fine. Haters gonna hate.
[grunts]
408
00:16:56,166 --> 00:16:57,476
You did it.
409
00:16:57,515 --> 00:16:59,085
You finally
stood up to her.
410
00:16:59,126 --> 00:17:00,646
I know, but
I was so harsh.
411
00:17:00,692 --> 00:17:02,082
Do you think
she'll get over it?
412
00:17:02,129 --> 00:17:04,139
Of course she's gonna
get over it.
413
00:17:04,174 --> 00:17:06,084
I'll tell you
what I'll never get over.
414
00:17:06,133 --> 00:17:08,743
She is a way better actor
than I'll ever be.
415
00:17:12,052 --> 00:17:14,092
Well, that's everything.
416
00:17:14,141 --> 00:17:16,351
You know, I can't believe
you and your father
417
00:17:16,404 --> 00:17:18,104
are being so stubborn
about this.
418
00:17:18,145 --> 00:17:19,365
He's the stubborn one.
419
00:17:19,407 --> 00:17:20,927
I just refuse to give in.
420
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:25,845
Calvin, Malcolm's leaving!
421
00:17:27,676 --> 00:17:29,856
Don't you have anything
to say to him?
422
00:17:29,895 --> 00:17:31,855
Fine.
423
00:17:35,945 --> 00:17:37,815
Seriously?
424
00:17:37,860 --> 00:17:40,130
You two have nothing
to say to each other?
425
00:17:40,167 --> 00:17:43,037
Nope.Nope.
426
00:17:43,083 --> 00:17:45,823
See, that's what your problem
is-- you're too much alike.
427
00:17:45,868 --> 00:17:47,398
No, we're not.No, we're not.
428
00:17:47,435 --> 00:17:48,955
You know what?
429
00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:51,391
Maybe you're right.
Maybe this is a good idea.
430
00:17:51,439 --> 00:17:53,049
With Malcolm gone,
431
00:17:53,093 --> 00:17:55,393
you can finally watch
football all by yourself
432
00:17:55,443 --> 00:17:56,963
without anyone to debate
433
00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:59,969
about who's the best player,
or argue over calls.
434
00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:02,012
Sounds good to me.
435
00:18:02,058 --> 00:18:05,068
And, Malcolm, you won't be stuck
playing cards with your dad.
436
00:18:05,105 --> 00:18:06,545
You know,
talking about politics
437
00:18:06,584 --> 00:18:08,064
and what's going on
in the world.
438
00:18:08,108 --> 00:18:10,068
That's right. I can do
that with my roommates.
439
00:18:10,110 --> 00:18:12,330
Yeah, and since two of you
sleep in the living room,
440
00:18:12,373 --> 00:18:14,983
y'all can chitchat
all night long.
441
00:18:16,116 --> 00:18:18,726
Yeah, that's...
that's gonna be fun.
442
00:18:20,163 --> 00:18:22,203
And, Calvin, you don't
have to remind Malcolm
443
00:18:22,252 --> 00:18:23,862
about taking the
trash out anymore,
444
00:18:23,906 --> 00:18:26,126
because you'll be doing it!That's right.
445
00:18:26,909 --> 00:18:28,569
Uh-huh.
446
00:18:30,130 --> 00:18:32,880
Well, now that we all agree
this is for the best--
447
00:18:32,915 --> 00:18:34,785
Calvin, tomorrow's
trash day.
448
00:18:34,830 --> 00:18:36,790
Malcolm, don't let
the doorknob hit ya
449
00:18:36,832 --> 00:18:38,092
where the good Lord
split ya.
450
00:18:42,794 --> 00:18:44,794
So, uh...
451
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:47,020
really? Two of y'all sleep
in the living room?
452
00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:48,889
It's not as bad
as it sounds.
453
00:18:48,931 --> 00:18:51,281
We got a line of
tape down the middle.
454
00:18:53,109 --> 00:18:54,679
Well, fine.
455
00:18:54,719 --> 00:18:56,549
I hope you enjoy
watching football with him.
456
00:18:56,591 --> 00:18:59,071
Well, actually,
we don't have cable,
457
00:18:59,115 --> 00:19:01,505
which would be useless
anyway, because...
458
00:19:01,552 --> 00:19:03,162
we don't have a TV.
459
00:19:03,206 --> 00:19:04,986
What?!
460
00:19:05,034 --> 00:19:06,684
Man, that's crazy.
461
00:19:06,731 --> 00:19:08,901
Every man deserves
to watch football.
462
00:19:08,951 --> 00:19:10,731
I think
that's in the Constitution.
463
00:19:12,389 --> 00:19:14,349
I'll tell you what.
464
00:19:14,391 --> 00:19:18,081
Why don't you come over Sunday
and watch one of the games?
465
00:19:18,134 --> 00:19:20,574
Okay, that'd be cool.
466
00:19:20,615 --> 00:19:24,185
Of course... there's also
Monday Night Football.
467
00:19:25,707 --> 00:19:28,627
And Thursday.
468
00:19:28,666 --> 00:19:31,146
That would be a lot of
driving back and forth.
469
00:19:31,191 --> 00:19:33,011
Especially
without your mama's gas card.
470
00:19:33,062 --> 00:19:35,012
[laughs]
471
00:19:35,064 --> 00:19:37,064
Well, maybe...
472
00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:39,639
you should finish out
the season here.
473
00:19:39,677 --> 00:19:42,817
That does seem like
the logical solution.
474
00:19:42,854 --> 00:19:44,684
Yeah, all right.
475
00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:47,946
Well, uh, maybe you should
just stay for a little while.
476
00:19:47,990 --> 00:19:50,040
Yeah, for a little while.
477
00:19:50,079 --> 00:19:51,519
All right.
Well, good. Come on.
478
00:19:51,559 --> 00:19:53,699
Let me help you get
these boxes in, son.
479
00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:54,995
Hey, you know what, Pop?
480
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:57,440
If I am gonna stay
here for a little while,
481
00:19:57,478 --> 00:19:59,608
I think I should
start paying rent.
482
00:19:59,654 --> 00:20:01,224
You damn straight you are.
483
00:20:02,526 --> 00:20:04,096
And I'm talking market rate.
484
00:20:04,136 --> 00:20:05,966
I don't play
that rent control.
485
00:20:12,319 --> 00:20:15,409
Hey, Dave. You take Brittany
to the airport?
486
00:20:15,452 --> 00:20:17,322
Actually, the train station.
487
00:20:17,367 --> 00:20:20,197
She says the airport is
"bounty hunter central."
488
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:21,460
[chuckles]
489
00:20:21,502 --> 00:20:22,982
Well, congratulations.
490
00:20:23,025 --> 00:20:24,545
You got rid of your freeloader.
491
00:20:24,592 --> 00:20:26,892
Oh, not me.
It was all Gemma.
492
00:20:26,942 --> 00:20:28,722
What about you?
493
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,080
Uh, you and Malcolm
figure everything out?
494
00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:35,170
Yeah. You know, um, he and Tina
begged me not to kick him out,
495
00:20:35,211 --> 00:20:38,161
so, what are you gonna do,
you know?
496
00:20:39,302 --> 00:20:40,732
Dave, we got to go.
497
00:20:40,782 --> 00:20:42,132
Where?
498
00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:43,654
The train station
just called.
499
00:20:43,698 --> 00:20:45,308
Apparently,
they have a jail.
500
00:20:45,352 --> 00:20:46,872
[Malcolm laughs]
501
00:20:46,918 --> 00:20:48,578
Oh, check out
this crazy white girl
502
00:20:48,616 --> 00:20:50,186
fighting on YouTube.
503
00:20:50,226 --> 00:20:51,836
Brittany?!
504
00:20:52,924 --> 00:20:55,094
Damn!
505
00:20:55,144 --> 00:20:57,014
She put that conductor
to sleep.
506
00:20:59,061 --> 00:21:00,361
And look at that.
507
00:21:00,410 --> 00:21:02,290
She's wearing my sunglasses!
508
00:21:06,634 --> 00:21:09,674
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
509
00:21:09,724 --> 00:21:13,294
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org