1 00:00:10,466 --> 00:00:12,726 Wine country, here we come. Yes. 2 00:00:12,772 --> 00:00:16,072 The car is loaded, and in a few hours we will be, too. 3 00:00:16,124 --> 00:00:19,164 Ooh, this is gonna be the best girls' trip ever. 4 00:00:19,214 --> 00:00:23,174 Gemma, I love America, but there is no country like wine country. 5 00:00:23,218 --> 00:00:27,048 Okay, so one last decision before we hit the road: 6 00:00:27,091 --> 00:00:29,831 Which one pairs best with chardonnay, 7 00:00:29,876 --> 00:00:33,576 Jeanette or Tamika? Ooh. 8 00:00:33,619 --> 00:00:35,449 Oh, what about that curly black one 9 00:00:35,491 --> 00:00:37,571 that got us kicked out of that club in Vegas? 10 00:00:37,623 --> 00:00:40,233 Dominique? Oh, no, no, she's on the wagon. 11 00:00:40,278 --> 00:00:41,678 Oh. 12 00:00:41,714 --> 00:00:44,674 Uh-oh, Jeanette and Tamika. 13 00:00:44,717 --> 00:00:48,117 You can take one or the other, but you can't take both. 14 00:00:48,156 --> 00:00:50,156 I'm not bailing you three out again. 15 00:00:50,201 --> 00:00:53,681 Well, it looks like I'm gonna have to go with Tamika, 16 00:00:53,726 --> 00:00:56,206 so you better behave. 17 00:00:56,251 --> 00:00:58,551 So you want to come watch the transformation? 18 00:00:58,601 --> 00:01:01,211 Does my Aunt Mayvene dress up her cats for the holidays? 19 00:01:01,256 --> 00:01:04,646 I was hoping no, but sounds like yes. 20 00:01:04,694 --> 00:01:06,214 Yes. 21 00:01:06,261 --> 00:01:08,741 I'm just glad she's not taking Dominique. 22 00:01:08,785 --> 00:01:11,135 That hair is trifling. 23 00:01:11,179 --> 00:01:13,789 What it do, C-Dawg? 24 00:01:13,833 --> 00:01:17,313 Oh, and I thought my biggest problem was gonna be the wig. 25 00:01:17,359 --> 00:01:19,929 So, since the ladies are gonna be gone, 26 00:01:19,970 --> 00:01:21,450 I got a little surprise for us-- 27 00:01:21,493 --> 00:01:24,883 front row tickets to tonight's game. 28 00:01:24,931 --> 00:01:28,321 Seriously? Courtside to the Laker game? 29 00:01:28,370 --> 00:01:31,290 C-Dawg is in. 30 00:01:31,329 --> 00:01:32,809 Well, actually, 31 00:01:32,852 --> 00:01:35,502 it's to the hockey game. 32 00:01:37,422 --> 00:01:40,252 Hockey? C-Dawg don't bark for hockey. 33 00:01:40,295 --> 00:01:42,685 Well, come on, it's gonna be great. 34 00:01:42,732 --> 00:01:45,162 Kings are playing the Red Wings-- it's an epic rivalry. 35 00:01:45,213 --> 00:01:46,163 Why don't you want to go? 36 00:01:46,214 --> 00:01:49,564 Well, for starters, I'm black. 37 00:01:49,608 --> 00:01:53,048 I know that's what everybody thinks about hockey, 38 00:01:53,090 --> 00:01:55,180 but the truth is, there's a lot of black players now. 39 00:01:55,223 --> 00:01:58,523 Yeah, but they're probably all Canadian, so that doesn't count. 40 00:01:58,574 --> 00:02:01,924 Come on, Calvin, don't be such a Negative Nancy. 41 00:02:01,968 --> 00:02:03,408 I'll tell you what, if at any point 42 00:02:03,448 --> 00:02:05,798 you're not having a good time, you can leave. 43 00:02:05,842 --> 00:02:07,452 Great. Bye-bye. 44 00:02:09,541 --> 00:02:11,451 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 45 00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:12,770 ♪ Welcome to the hood. 46 00:02:17,941 --> 00:02:19,151 Here's your beer. 47 00:02:19,203 --> 00:02:21,373 What'd I miss? Nothing. 48 00:02:21,423 --> 00:02:23,903 Just a bunch of guys with no vowels in their names 49 00:02:23,947 --> 00:02:25,167 skating in circles. 50 00:02:26,558 --> 00:02:28,168 I mean, the least they could do 51 00:02:28,212 --> 00:02:30,432 is light the puck on fire or something. 52 00:02:30,475 --> 00:02:33,175 Come on, Calvin, you're missing 53 00:02:33,217 --> 00:02:34,737 the finer points of the game here. 54 00:02:34,784 --> 00:02:37,694 I mean, look at these guys, they're incredible athletes, 55 00:02:37,743 --> 00:02:40,963 skating 20 miles an hour on a quarter-inch of steel. 56 00:02:41,007 --> 00:02:44,097 I don't know, man, I-I'm just not seeing it. 57 00:02:44,141 --> 00:02:45,271 Oh! Oh! 58 00:02:45,316 --> 00:02:46,276 Oh, I saw that. 59 00:02:46,317 --> 00:02:48,717 CROWD: Oh!Oh, and that! 60 00:02:48,754 --> 00:02:50,104 Oh! 61 00:02:50,147 --> 00:02:52,147 With hits like that, who needs vowels? 62 00:02:52,193 --> 00:02:54,713 Yeah! Get him! 63 00:02:56,284 --> 00:02:59,244 Wow, this place is beautiful. 64 00:02:59,287 --> 00:03:01,287 Now where's the wine? 65 00:03:01,332 --> 00:03:04,852 Ooh, there it is. Thank you. 66 00:03:04,901 --> 00:03:06,421 I don't work here. 67 00:03:09,210 --> 00:03:11,480 Oh, well, this is good stuff, you should get another one. 68 00:03:13,779 --> 00:03:15,259 Hello. 69 00:03:15,303 --> 00:03:17,653 Welcome to Coastal Breeze Winery. 70 00:03:17,696 --> 00:03:20,046 Hi. We have a reservation under Johnson. 71 00:03:20,090 --> 00:03:21,440 Hmm. If possible, 72 00:03:21,483 --> 00:03:23,263 no balcony. We may get crazy, 73 00:03:23,311 --> 00:03:25,871 and it's safer if we're in a room we can't fall out of. 74 00:03:25,922 --> 00:03:27,872 Oh, and, um, 75 00:03:27,924 --> 00:03:29,834 also nothing near the elevator. 76 00:03:29,882 --> 00:03:32,442 We don't want to be bothered by obnoxious drunks. 77 00:03:32,494 --> 00:03:33,844 GEMMA: Oh, yeah. 78 00:03:35,105 --> 00:03:37,585 Fill 'er up. 79 00:03:37,629 --> 00:03:39,769 Oh, my God, I can't believe it. 80 00:03:39,805 --> 00:03:42,855 You're Mary J. Blige. 81 00:03:42,895 --> 00:03:44,335 What? 82 00:03:44,375 --> 00:03:47,375 Oh, no, honey, it's the wig. 83 00:03:49,728 --> 00:03:51,778 My name is Tina Butler. 84 00:03:51,817 --> 00:03:55,827 Oh, I get it. Keeping things on the down low. 85 00:03:55,865 --> 00:03:57,125 Like me. 86 00:03:59,129 --> 00:04:02,219 Sorry to disappoint you, but she really is Tina Butler. 87 00:04:02,263 --> 00:04:05,393 Well, for "Tina Butler's" privacy, 88 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,750 I'm going to upgrade you to the penthouse suite. 89 00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:12,141 You can call me Mary J. 90 00:04:23,980 --> 00:04:25,990 Man, there are two things you don't want to be 91 00:04:26,025 --> 00:04:28,985 in a horror movie-- having sex or black. 92 00:04:34,033 --> 00:04:37,813 I mean, you, uh, you're not scared, are you? 93 00:04:37,863 --> 00:04:40,343 Please, Malcolm, I'm a grown man. 94 00:04:40,388 --> 00:04:42,048 I know scary movies aren't real. 95 00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:57,408 What the hell is wrong with you guys? 96 00:04:57,448 --> 00:04:59,538 Us? Nothing. 97 00:04:59,581 --> 00:05:02,231 Can't-can't two brothers scream together? 98 00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:04,719 MALCOLM: Yeah, uh, 99 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:07,070 Pop, what's with the outfits? 100 00:05:07,110 --> 00:05:08,720 Oh, we went to the hockey game together. 101 00:05:08,764 --> 00:05:12,114 Yeah, and it was awesome. Give me some. 102 00:05:16,902 --> 00:05:19,072 Hey, so we on for tomorrow night? 103 00:05:19,122 --> 00:05:21,472 Pink Floyd laser show at the planetarium? 104 00:05:21,516 --> 00:05:23,086 Oh, you can "planet" on it. 105 00:05:23,126 --> 00:05:24,346 Okay, see you tomorrow, buddy. 106 00:05:24,388 --> 00:05:26,088 Bye, guys. See you, Dave. 107 00:05:26,129 --> 00:05:27,399 Yeah. 108 00:05:33,571 --> 00:05:34,831 What? 109 00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:36,877 Uh, you're wearing a hockey jersey, 110 00:05:36,922 --> 00:05:39,142 you're going to a Pink Floyd laser show, 111 00:05:39,185 --> 00:05:41,185 and you just made a pun about planets. 112 00:05:41,231 --> 00:05:43,531 Come on, man, I thought it was "punny." 113 00:05:45,714 --> 00:05:47,194 Okay, it's official, 114 00:05:47,237 --> 00:05:49,897 you are turning into a very tan Dave. 115 00:05:49,935 --> 00:05:53,065 I am not turning into Dave. 116 00:05:53,112 --> 00:05:55,502 So you're saying you're a Pink Floyd fan? 117 00:05:55,550 --> 00:05:58,340 Yeah, all his new stuff is great. 118 00:06:00,555 --> 00:06:03,515 I don't know, Pop, ever since you and Dave became friends, 119 00:06:03,558 --> 00:06:05,298 you are kind of a different person. 120 00:06:05,342 --> 00:06:06,772 MARTY: Yeah, you don't go to 121 00:06:06,822 --> 00:06:09,082 Ernie's anymore, you don't play dominoes with the boys, 122 00:06:09,128 --> 00:06:11,438 and just the other day I saw you put a quarter 123 00:06:11,479 --> 00:06:13,399 in someone else's parking meter. 124 00:06:13,437 --> 00:06:15,437 It's called paying it forward, 125 00:06:15,483 --> 00:06:18,613 which also happens to be an excellent movie. 126 00:06:18,660 --> 00:06:21,540 Okay, who are you, and what have you done with our father? 127 00:06:23,142 --> 00:06:24,572 Man, y'all tripping. 128 00:06:24,622 --> 00:06:26,792 You're just being a couple of Negative Nancys. 129 00:06:28,060 --> 00:06:30,240 Who said that? 130 00:06:31,629 --> 00:06:33,459 Did you see the bathroom? 131 00:06:33,501 --> 00:06:36,451 I mean, if this isn't the nicest hotel I've ever seen, 132 00:06:36,504 --> 00:06:38,284 then my name isn't Mary J. Blige. 133 00:06:39,681 --> 00:06:41,981 Your name isn't Mary J. Blige. 134 00:06:43,075 --> 00:06:44,685 It's Tina J. Liar. 135 00:06:46,514 --> 00:06:49,254 Oh, come on, Gemma, we're not hurting anyone. 136 00:06:49,299 --> 00:06:52,049 I know, but aren't you worried about getting caught? 137 00:06:52,084 --> 00:06:53,474 A little, 138 00:06:53,521 --> 00:06:56,741 but I think those free massages they're sending up 139 00:06:56,785 --> 00:06:58,965 will melt those worries away. 140 00:06:59,004 --> 00:07:01,354 Wait, when did you arrange that? 141 00:07:01,398 --> 00:07:04,318 I didn't, my publicist did. 142 00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:06,277 And if anyone asks you, you're my publicist. 143 00:07:06,316 --> 00:07:09,146 No. Tina, 144 00:07:09,188 --> 00:07:11,188 we are never gonna be able to pull this off. 145 00:07:11,234 --> 00:07:13,584 Just because one guy thought you were Mary J. Blige 146 00:07:13,628 --> 00:07:15,418 doesn't mean you can fool a whole hotel. 147 00:07:15,456 --> 00:07:17,236 Of white people? 148 00:07:18,589 --> 00:07:20,329 Honey, I could tell them I was Martin Luther King, 149 00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:21,593 and they'd believe it. 150 00:07:23,202 --> 00:07:25,072 All this free stuff just doesn't 151 00:07:25,117 --> 00:07:26,727 seem like it's worth the risk. 152 00:07:26,771 --> 00:07:29,641 Gemma, this is not about free stuff. 153 00:07:29,687 --> 00:07:30,867 Then what is it? 154 00:07:30,906 --> 00:07:33,086 Well, I know this may sound silly, 155 00:07:33,125 --> 00:07:34,825 but ever since I was a little girl, 156 00:07:34,866 --> 00:07:37,176 I always wanted to be a famous singer, 157 00:07:37,216 --> 00:07:40,306 and now for the next couple of days, I can be. 158 00:07:40,350 --> 00:07:41,960 I mean, didn't you ever dream like that? 159 00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:44,394 Yes. 160 00:07:45,660 --> 00:07:47,620 Back when I was growing up in Hickory Corners, 161 00:07:47,662 --> 00:07:51,222 I always dreamed of being the Fall Festival Hog Queen. 162 00:07:53,319 --> 00:07:55,279 What is that and why? 163 00:07:55,321 --> 00:07:57,541 It is the biggest honor in town. 164 00:07:57,585 --> 00:08:00,805 You get a sash, a tiara, and you get to ride down Main Street 165 00:08:00,849 --> 00:08:04,989 on a float pulled by a team of pigs. 166 00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:07,247 What a relatable story. 167 00:08:07,290 --> 00:08:09,170 I would've won, too. 168 00:08:09,205 --> 00:08:11,685 I crushed the bacon-eating contest, 169 00:08:11,729 --> 00:08:15,869 but that damn greased pig got away from me every time. 170 00:08:15,907 --> 00:08:18,087 Gemma, I never thought I would say this, 171 00:08:18,127 --> 00:08:21,177 but being Mary J. Blige... 172 00:08:22,827 --> 00:08:25,137 ...is my greased pig. 173 00:08:32,228 --> 00:08:35,448 BOTH: Morning. 174 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,590 Hey, look at that. 175 00:08:44,632 --> 00:08:48,372 Great minds dress alike.We're not dressed alike. 176 00:08:48,418 --> 00:08:50,688 My shirt has little blue squares, and yours has, um, 177 00:08:50,725 --> 00:08:53,425 little blue boxes. 178 00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:55,906 I don't know. 179 00:08:55,947 --> 00:08:57,387 Looks pretty similar to me. 180 00:08:57,427 --> 00:08:59,297 Yeah, well, no one else would think that. 181 00:08:59,342 --> 00:09:03,562 Look at you two, twinsies! 182 00:09:11,006 --> 00:09:14,836 Hey, what's up, boys? 183 00:09:14,879 --> 00:09:16,319 Well, what is up with you, 184 00:09:16,359 --> 00:09:19,239 Run-DMC, you're having a midlife crisis? 185 00:09:19,275 --> 00:09:22,665 Very funny. For your information, 186 00:09:22,713 --> 00:09:25,063 I'm kicking it with my old dance crew tonight. 187 00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:27,847 Your old dance crew? 188 00:09:27,892 --> 00:09:29,892 Didn't Keith just have hip surgery? 189 00:09:29,938 --> 00:09:33,118 Yeah. You know, he's still got his handicap placard, 190 00:09:33,158 --> 00:09:36,078 so we get to park right in front of the club. 191 00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:37,558 But I thought you were supposed to go 192 00:09:37,598 --> 00:09:38,988 to the planetarium tonight? 193 00:09:39,034 --> 00:09:41,424 Yeah, man, but those planets gonna be there forever. 194 00:09:41,471 --> 00:09:44,251 Keith's handicap placard, it expires next week. 195 00:09:46,084 --> 00:09:49,474 Come on, Pop, is this because we teased you about becoming Dave? 196 00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:54,132 No. This is about me getting back in touch with my roots, 197 00:09:54,179 --> 00:09:55,839 about not forgetting who I am. 198 00:09:55,877 --> 00:09:57,877 And who exactly is that? 199 00:09:57,922 --> 00:10:01,222 Calvi-tronic, the Bionic Breaking Machine. 200 00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:12,243 Oh. 201 00:10:12,284 --> 00:10:13,984 I don't know about a breaking machine, 202 00:10:14,025 --> 00:10:15,985 but something just broke inside of me. 203 00:10:17,899 --> 00:10:21,729 Uh-oh, there's Dave. What you gonna tell him? 204 00:10:21,772 --> 00:10:24,552 I'm a grown-ass man. 205 00:10:24,601 --> 00:10:25,991 I'm not afraid 206 00:10:26,037 --> 00:10:28,347 to tell him what's what. 207 00:10:28,387 --> 00:10:30,387 I'm gonna tell him I'm sick. 208 00:10:32,827 --> 00:10:36,177 Hey, Calvin. You ready to roll? 209 00:10:36,221 --> 00:10:38,521 Nice blanket. I have one just like it. 210 00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:41,131 Can't go tonight, man. I'm sick. 211 00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:42,483 Oh, no. 212 00:10:42,532 --> 00:10:44,312 Got sick at the hockey game. 213 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,540 It was really cold in there, man. 214 00:10:52,847 --> 00:10:53,937 Really? You know, 215 00:10:53,978 --> 00:10:55,588 they keep the rink at 65 degrees. 216 00:10:55,632 --> 00:10:58,152 I know, but for black people, that's like 32. 217 00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:01,950 Okay, well, feel better, buddy.Yeah. 218 00:11:01,986 --> 00:11:05,296 Bye, guys. Okay... 219 00:11:05,337 --> 00:11:07,427 Damn, Pop, that was cold. 220 00:11:07,470 --> 00:11:09,390 I know. 221 00:11:09,428 --> 00:11:11,258 32 degrees, baby. 222 00:11:17,045 --> 00:11:21,265 Ooh, that was an amazing massage. 223 00:11:21,310 --> 00:11:22,400 Not as good as the one yesterday, 224 00:11:22,441 --> 00:11:24,791 but better than the one this morning. 225 00:11:24,835 --> 00:11:27,445 It was pretty great. 226 00:11:27,490 --> 00:11:29,710 But do you feel like we're taking advantage? 227 00:11:30,972 --> 00:11:33,232 Ooh, yay! That must be our second lobsters. 228 00:11:33,278 --> 00:11:35,548 Hi, Jeffrey. 229 00:11:35,585 --> 00:11:37,235 Hi. This is awkward, but... 230 00:11:37,282 --> 00:11:39,672 We can explain. I wanted to be Hog Queen. 231 00:11:41,069 --> 00:11:44,729 Don't... don't mind my publicist. 232 00:11:44,768 --> 00:11:46,428 She has a pill problem. 233 00:11:48,206 --> 00:11:49,816 So what can we do for you? 234 00:11:49,860 --> 00:11:52,650 Well, one of our guests is celebrating her birthday 235 00:11:52,689 --> 00:11:55,349 later tonight in the lounge, and I was hoping... 236 00:11:55,387 --> 00:11:58,307 that Ms. Blige could pop by for a quick hello. 237 00:11:58,347 --> 00:12:00,347 Okay, honey, 238 00:12:00,392 --> 00:12:02,952 that sounds like fun.Oh, and you know 239 00:12:03,004 --> 00:12:05,484 what would be even more fun? If she sings "Happy Birthday." 240 00:12:05,528 --> 00:12:06,878 Oh, yeah, that'd be real... 241 00:12:06,921 --> 00:12:08,091 Wait, what?! 242 00:12:09,184 --> 00:12:12,054 Oh, that is so amazing. Thank you. 243 00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:13,980 I am much obliged. 244 00:12:14,015 --> 00:12:15,185 You see what I did there? 245 00:12:15,233 --> 00:12:16,193 Did you see it? Fun. 246 00:12:16,234 --> 00:12:18,624 Okay. 247 00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:20,541 What the hell, Gemma? 248 00:12:20,586 --> 00:12:22,286 How tight is that towel? 249 00:12:23,459 --> 00:12:25,159 Tina. Don't you see? 250 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:26,470 This is your dream. 251 00:12:26,505 --> 00:12:28,245 Tonight's your night to be famous. 252 00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:30,170 Yeah, but as soon as I open my mouth, 253 00:12:30,205 --> 00:12:32,645 they're gonna know that I'm not Mary J. Blige. 254 00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:35,995 No, they won't. You have an amazing voice. 255 00:12:36,037 --> 00:12:38,607 Yeah. But still! 256 00:12:38,648 --> 00:12:42,258 Besides, it's like you said, this is a winery. 257 00:12:42,304 --> 00:12:44,824 Everyone here is whiter than the chardonnay. 258 00:12:44,872 --> 00:12:48,262 Well, it does sound kind of fun. 259 00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:50,190 Now you're talking. 260 00:12:50,225 --> 00:12:52,405 And, hey, maybe I could be your backup singer. 261 00:12:52,444 --> 00:12:54,444 Stay in your lane, pig girl. 262 00:12:57,885 --> 00:13:00,455 Oh, hey, uh, Dave. 263 00:13:00,496 --> 00:13:03,196 I thought you were going to the planetarium. 264 00:13:03,238 --> 00:13:05,418 Well, I was, but I realized it wouldn't be as much fun 265 00:13:05,457 --> 00:13:07,287 without Calvin, so I decided to stay home 266 00:13:07,329 --> 00:13:08,549 and make him some soup. 267 00:13:08,591 --> 00:13:09,541 How's he doing? 268 00:13:09,592 --> 00:13:12,112 Better.Worse. 269 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:13,560 Well, which is it? 270 00:13:13,596 --> 00:13:15,376 Worse.Better. 271 00:13:16,904 --> 00:13:19,864 Okay, well, uh, maybe the soup will help.Yeah. 272 00:13:19,907 --> 00:13:22,297 Just tell him I'll check in on him tomorrow. 273 00:13:27,131 --> 00:13:28,341 Yeah. 274 00:13:30,265 --> 00:13:31,655 Hey. 275 00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:37,097 Calvin, what are you doing out of bed, 276 00:13:37,141 --> 00:13:38,791 and why are you dressed so funky fresh? 277 00:13:38,839 --> 00:13:40,979 Uh, 278 00:13:41,015 --> 00:13:42,755 I went to the drugstore to get some medicine. 279 00:13:42,799 --> 00:13:44,329 Where is it? 280 00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:46,626 Damn it, I knew I forgot something. 281 00:13:47,673 --> 00:13:49,373 Hold on. 282 00:13:49,414 --> 00:13:52,194 Calvin, did you lie to me about being sick? 283 00:13:52,243 --> 00:13:54,983 No. Because I amsick. 284 00:13:55,029 --> 00:13:56,559 I let down my defenses 285 00:13:56,595 --> 00:14:00,035 and got all infected with your Dave-ness. 286 00:14:01,513 --> 00:14:03,033 Wh-- Infected? 287 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:05,350 Yeah, I mean, you got me going to hockey. 288 00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:07,437 I mean, you and I are dressing alike. 289 00:14:07,476 --> 00:14:09,526 The other day a Taylor Swift song came on, 290 00:14:09,565 --> 00:14:11,435 and I didn't even turn it off. 291 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:14,440 Actually, he turned it up. 292 00:14:17,268 --> 00:14:20,278 I didn't know having things in common was being infected. 293 00:14:20,315 --> 00:14:22,275 I thought that was being friends. 294 00:14:22,317 --> 00:14:24,447 Uh... 295 00:14:24,493 --> 00:14:25,843 Dave.No, you know what, Calvin? 296 00:14:25,886 --> 00:14:27,456 You said your piece. Enjoy the soup. 297 00:14:27,496 --> 00:14:30,496 It's infected, too. With love! 298 00:14:34,982 --> 00:14:37,892 Ooh... thank you for making me do this, Gemma. 299 00:14:37,941 --> 00:14:39,891 I'm feeling kind of hyped. 300 00:14:39,943 --> 00:14:42,463 Oh, good. You're here. 301 00:14:42,511 --> 00:14:44,551 Thank you again for doing this, Ms. Blige. 302 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,080 Okay. So the birthday girl's name 303 00:14:46,123 --> 00:14:47,603 is Cynthia, and she is sitting 304 00:14:47,646 --> 00:14:48,516 right over there. 305 00:14:51,912 --> 00:14:54,432 She is not going to believe this! 306 00:14:54,479 --> 00:14:57,139 No, she is not. 307 00:14:57,178 --> 00:15:01,228 Okay, so I'm gonna go introduce you. Showtime! 308 00:15:02,618 --> 00:15:04,488 Tina, they're not white! 309 00:15:04,533 --> 00:15:05,533 They're gonna know. 310 00:15:05,577 --> 00:15:07,757 Okay. All right. Gemma... 311 00:15:07,797 --> 00:15:09,017 let's get the hell out of here. 312 00:15:09,059 --> 00:15:11,069 Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only 313 00:15:11,105 --> 00:15:12,585 Mary J. Blige! 314 00:15:12,628 --> 00:15:15,288 Oh... Gemma. 315 00:15:17,285 --> 00:15:18,585 How you doing? 316 00:15:18,634 --> 00:15:20,674 Oh, what the hell are we gonna do? 317 00:15:20,723 --> 00:15:22,983 Okay. Okay. It's gonna be fine. 318 00:15:23,030 --> 00:15:24,040 You're gonna go up there, 319 00:15:24,074 --> 00:15:25,684 you're gonna sing your heart out, 320 00:15:25,728 --> 00:15:27,998 and you're gonna live your dream. Okay? 321 00:15:28,035 --> 00:15:29,425 You're right. You're right. 322 00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:30,421 This is my chance. Yes. 323 00:15:30,472 --> 00:15:31,602 I got this. 324 00:15:31,647 --> 00:15:32,907 But just in case... 325 00:15:34,606 --> 00:15:37,476 It'll be harder to describe me to the police. 326 00:15:40,090 --> 00:15:41,840 Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. 327 00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:44,314 Hey, how you doing? 328 00:15:44,355 --> 00:15:46,485 Well, this song goes out 329 00:15:46,531 --> 00:15:48,091 to my girl Cynthia. 330 00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:55,844 ♪ Happy birthday 331 00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:57,848 ♪ To you 332 00:16:00,719 --> 00:16:01,809 ♪ Happy 333 00:16:01,851 --> 00:16:04,721 ♪ Birthday to 334 00:16:04,767 --> 00:16:07,117 ♪ You 335 00:16:07,161 --> 00:16:10,551 ♪ Happy birthday 336 00:16:10,599 --> 00:16:12,779 ♪ Dear Cynthia 337 00:16:14,385 --> 00:16:18,085 ♪ Happy birthday 338 00:16:18,128 --> 00:16:20,738 ♪ To 339 00:16:20,783 --> 00:16:23,213 ♪ You. 340 00:16:27,094 --> 00:16:28,314 Thank you. 341 00:16:28,356 --> 00:16:30,486 Thank you so much, Ms. Blige. 342 00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:32,142 That was simply beautiful. 343 00:16:32,186 --> 00:16:33,576 Awesome. I'm not done yet. 344 00:16:33,622 --> 00:16:37,362 "Family Affair," hit it! 345 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:42,550 ♪ Yeah, yeah 346 00:16:42,587 --> 00:16:44,377 ♪ Oh, yeah 347 00:16:44,415 --> 00:16:47,545 ♪ Come on, everybody! 348 00:16:47,592 --> 00:16:48,542 Isn't she amazing? 349 00:16:48,593 --> 00:16:50,553 She is. 350 00:16:50,595 --> 00:16:52,855 But she sure as hell ain't Mary J. Blige. 351 00:16:54,991 --> 00:16:57,121 Okay, look. She's my best friend, 352 00:16:57,167 --> 00:16:58,777 and she's up there living her dream. 353 00:16:58,821 --> 00:16:59,821 So? 354 00:16:59,865 --> 00:17:01,735 So, if you don't rat us out, 355 00:17:01,780 --> 00:17:03,400 you can have our penthouse suite, 356 00:17:03,434 --> 00:17:05,264 all the massages we have scheduled for tomorrow, 357 00:17:05,306 --> 00:17:06,486 and... 358 00:17:07,612 --> 00:17:08,652 68 bucks. 359 00:17:12,139 --> 00:17:15,359 ALL: Go, Mary! Go, Mary! Go, Mary! 360 00:17:15,403 --> 00:17:17,923 ♪ Let's get it crunk upon 361 00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:20,370 ♪ Have fun upon up in this dancery ♪ 362 00:17:20,408 --> 00:17:23,718 ♪ We got ya open, now you're floatin' ♪ 363 00:17:23,759 --> 00:17:25,849 ♪ So you gots to dance for me 364 00:17:25,891 --> 00:17:28,371 ♪ Don't need no hateration 365 00:17:28,416 --> 00:17:30,986 ♪ Holleration in this dancery 366 00:17:31,027 --> 00:17:33,507 ♪ Let's get it percolatin', while you're... ♪ 367 00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:37,648 Hey, Dave. 368 00:17:37,686 --> 00:17:38,946 Yeah, careful, Calvin. 369 00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:40,511 You don't want to catch anything else. 370 00:17:40,558 --> 00:17:43,388 I've been told my laugh is pretty contagious. 371 00:17:43,431 --> 00:17:45,341 Look, man... 372 00:17:45,389 --> 00:17:46,959 I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, 373 00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:49,399 but I just felt like your Dave-ness 374 00:17:49,437 --> 00:17:51,527 was rubbing off on me too much. 375 00:17:51,569 --> 00:17:53,099 Well, what's wrong with that? 376 00:17:53,136 --> 00:17:55,396 Why can't friends rub off on each other? 377 00:17:57,358 --> 00:18:00,448 Rubbing off on people is completely natural. 378 00:18:00,491 --> 00:18:02,491 I welcome people rubbing off on me. 379 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:08,160 If anybody's listening, we're just neighbors! 380 00:18:08,195 --> 00:18:10,765 I just don't understand why it's such a bad thing 381 00:18:10,806 --> 00:18:13,196 for friends to influence each other. 382 00:18:13,243 --> 00:18:15,073 You don't think that I've changed because of you? 383 00:18:15,115 --> 00:18:16,765 How have youchanged? 384 00:18:16,812 --> 00:18:18,592 I'm more assertive, like you, 385 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,390 I'm more confident, like you, 386 00:18:20,424 --> 00:18:22,294 and if someone's being a jackass, I now tell them 387 00:18:22,339 --> 00:18:23,689 they're being a jackass... 388 00:18:23,732 --> 00:18:25,902 jackass. 389 00:18:25,951 --> 00:18:27,601 One more compliment like that, 390 00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:29,049 and we're gonna have a problem. 391 00:18:29,085 --> 00:18:31,825 Calvin, we already do have a problem. 392 00:18:31,870 --> 00:18:33,440 Why would I want to be friends with someone 393 00:18:33,481 --> 00:18:36,221 who thinks being me is such a bad thing? 394 00:18:36,266 --> 00:18:37,576 'Cause I'm dope. 395 00:18:37,615 --> 00:18:41,315 And your attitude-- it's... wickity-wack. 396 00:18:42,751 --> 00:18:47,491 Look, Dave, I don't think being you is a bad thing. 397 00:18:47,538 --> 00:18:49,198 All right, you're a good dude. 398 00:18:49,236 --> 00:18:51,416 But Calvin Butler has an edge. 399 00:18:51,455 --> 00:18:53,935 And around here, people see me a certain way, 400 00:18:53,979 --> 00:18:55,509 and I don't want to lose that. 401 00:18:55,546 --> 00:18:56,896 Fine, but don't blame me 402 00:18:56,939 --> 00:18:59,899 because Taylor Swift sang her way into your heart. 403 00:18:59,942 --> 00:19:02,502 I don't know what it is, she just gets me. 404 00:19:04,947 --> 00:19:06,467 But you're right. 405 00:19:06,514 --> 00:19:11,174 I shouldn't have done that, and, uh... I'm sorry. 406 00:19:12,389 --> 00:19:15,529 You know what? It, it's okay. 407 00:19:15,566 --> 00:19:17,616 You know what's better than okay? 408 00:19:17,655 --> 00:19:19,355 That soup you made. 409 00:19:21,572 --> 00:19:23,662 I knewyou'd like it. 410 00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:25,615 I used the parsnips we got from the farmers market. 411 00:19:25,663 --> 00:19:27,223 Oh, yeah, right. From the lady... 412 00:19:27,274 --> 00:19:30,184 BOTH: With the yellow overalls. 413 00:19:30,233 --> 00:19:32,663 No, that's too much.Yeah, this is getting weird. Okay. 414 00:19:42,158 --> 00:19:44,248 Hey, man. We were in the middle of a game. 415 00:19:44,291 --> 00:19:45,461 Not anymore. 416 00:19:45,509 --> 00:19:48,469 It's been canceled on the account of dance. 417 00:19:49,470 --> 00:19:51,560 Oh, come on, Dad. We don't want to see 418 00:19:51,602 --> 00:19:53,212 your tired old dance moves. 419 00:19:53,256 --> 00:19:56,346 Yeah. And I'm not helping you up this time. 420 00:19:56,390 --> 00:19:59,530 Nah, man. What you're about to see is all new. 421 00:19:59,567 --> 00:20:00,747 Yo, D-Money! 422 00:20:10,491 --> 00:20:12,921 Let's get stupid. 423 00:20:14,059 --> 00:20:15,059 ♪ Uh! 424 00:20:17,976 --> 00:20:18,976 ♪ Uh! 425 00:20:21,632 --> 00:20:23,762 ♪ Uh! 426 00:20:26,333 --> 00:20:27,283 ♪ Uh! 427 00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:31,251 ♪ Uh! 428 00:20:37,344 --> 00:20:39,864 Are-are we gonna sit here and watch this? 429 00:20:39,911 --> 00:20:41,691 Hell no. 430 00:20:41,739 --> 00:20:43,479 Let's battle these fools. 431 00:20:43,524 --> 00:20:45,524 ♪ Uh! 432 00:20:47,876 --> 00:20:49,446 ♪ Uh! 433 00:20:53,011 --> 00:20:54,491 ♪ Uh! 434 00:20:56,232 --> 00:20:57,712 ♪ Uh! 435 00:20:58,713 --> 00:20:59,713 ♪ Uh! 436 00:21:02,107 --> 00:21:03,587 ♪ Uh! 437 00:21:03,631 --> 00:21:05,581 Captioning sponsored by CBS 438 00:21:05,633 --> 00:21:08,723 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org