1
00:00:09,204 --> 00:00:11,032
Hey, what's up,
little man?
2
00:00:11,075 --> 00:00:12,772
Oh, hi, Mr. Calvin.
3
00:00:12,816 --> 00:00:15,079
Me and my dad are about
to do some hoops.
4
00:00:15,123 --> 00:00:18,082
I think you mean
"shoot some hoops."
5
00:00:18,126 --> 00:00:19,518
No, he doesn't.
6
00:00:21,346 --> 00:00:24,654
Tryouts for the Walcott Academy
Hula-Hoop squad are next week,
7
00:00:24,697 --> 00:00:27,657
and Grover's got to
get his game hips on.
8
00:00:29,746 --> 00:00:31,661
Hula-Hoop tryouts?
Mm-hmm.
9
00:00:31,704 --> 00:00:32,836
Don't you just show up
10
00:00:32,879 --> 00:00:35,186
and any kid who has asthma
is in?
11
00:00:35,230 --> 00:00:37,014
Actually, it is
very competitive.
12
00:00:37,058 --> 00:00:38,711
It's the second most
popular sport at school,
13
00:00:38,755 --> 00:00:40,539
after Mathletics.
14
00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:42,498
And that one's for nerds.
15
00:00:43,934 --> 00:00:46,197
So, are you telling me
that no one
16
00:00:46,241 --> 00:00:50,593
at this little hippie school
of yours plays real sports?
17
00:00:50,636 --> 00:00:53,770
How do you tell the cool kids
from the losers?
18
00:00:53,813 --> 00:00:56,164
Oh, Caleb's definitely cool.
19
00:00:56,207 --> 00:00:58,731
He can Hula-Hoop
around his neck.
20
00:01:00,298 --> 00:01:02,996
And his dad won't let
anyone forget it.
21
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:05,608
Okay, listen to me, Dave.
22
00:01:05,651 --> 00:01:08,089
Look, the youth basketball team
I coach
23
00:01:08,132 --> 00:01:09,699
is starting a new season.
24
00:01:09,742 --> 00:01:11,788
Do Grover a favor--
let him join us.
25
00:01:18,055 --> 00:01:19,622
Like, right now.
26
00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:23,539
I don't know. You know,
Grover's never played
27
00:01:23,582 --> 00:01:25,367
organized sports before.
28
00:01:25,410 --> 00:01:27,151
Come on, Dave,
it'll be good for him.
29
00:01:27,195 --> 00:01:29,110
Like... look,
I don't like to brag,
30
00:01:29,153 --> 00:01:31,068
but I'm the best coach in town.
31
00:01:32,417 --> 00:01:34,985
Maybe in all of California.
32
00:01:36,856 --> 00:01:38,597
I guess it would be
good for Grover
33
00:01:38,641 --> 00:01:39,685
to learn about
winning and losing.
34
00:01:39,729 --> 00:01:41,426
Not on my team.
35
00:01:41,470 --> 00:01:44,168
No, we've gone undefeated
the last two seasons.
36
00:01:44,212 --> 00:01:46,605
He's gonna have to learn
that losing part from you.
37
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:50,000
All right, what do you say, bud?
38
00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:52,002
You want to join
Mr. Calvin's basketball team?
39
00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:53,786
Sure. Sounds fun.
40
00:01:53,830 --> 00:01:58,051
Great. Practice starts
tomorrow, but for now,
41
00:01:58,095 --> 00:02:00,184
why don't you show me
what you got.
42
00:02:00,228 --> 00:02:02,317
All right, now, come on, buddy.All right.
43
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,232
Show him those Johnson skills.
44
00:02:05,276 --> 00:02:07,278
CALVIN:
Come on. All right.
45
00:02:08,497 --> 00:02:10,499
[grunts]
46
00:02:12,979 --> 00:02:15,982
You know what, uh,
let's try it with this one.
47
00:02:17,636 --> 00:02:19,508
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
48
00:02:19,551 --> 00:02:20,857
♪ Welcome to the hood.
49
00:02:26,602 --> 00:02:27,690
Hey, Mom.
50
00:02:27,733 --> 00:02:29,909
Hey. How was
basketball practice?
51
00:02:29,953 --> 00:02:32,260
It was great!
Coach Calvin made me
52
00:02:32,303 --> 00:02:34,697
the most important position
on the team.
53
00:02:34,740 --> 00:02:36,438
Really? That's incredible.
54
00:02:36,481 --> 00:02:38,266
What are you, the point guard?
55
00:02:38,309 --> 00:02:39,441
Better.
56
00:02:39,484 --> 00:02:41,182
The equipment manager!
57
00:02:45,534 --> 00:02:47,666
What? You can't be
the equipment manager.
58
00:02:47,710 --> 00:02:49,451
That's the job
they give the kids who...
59
00:02:49,494 --> 00:02:53,411
Who care the most
about the team.
60
00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:56,458
It's so cool.
61
00:02:56,501 --> 00:02:59,504
I'm in charge of
the basketballs and towels,
62
00:02:59,548 --> 00:03:02,725
and no one gets Gatorade
without going through me.
63
00:03:02,768 --> 00:03:04,509
Mm.
64
00:03:04,553 --> 00:03:06,555
Yeah, he might not need
to wear a cup, but...
65
00:03:06,598 --> 00:03:09,514
[chuckles] he sure
can fill one.
66
00:03:09,558 --> 00:03:12,648
I'm gonna go practice
handing out orange slices.
67
00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:17,479
If only Caleb could see me now.
68
00:03:18,523 --> 00:03:20,264
Yeah, you go get 'em, son!
69
00:03:21,613 --> 00:03:24,094
Kid's got a heart of a champion.
70
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:25,704
No, what the kid has got is
71
00:03:25,748 --> 00:03:27,271
the most embarrassing job
on the team.
72
00:03:27,315 --> 00:03:29,752
Ugh! Being the equipment manager
is like being
73
00:03:29,795 --> 00:03:31,841
the tree in the school play.
74
00:03:31,884 --> 00:03:34,409
Hey, I was the tree
in the school play.
75
00:03:36,541 --> 00:03:38,413
Don't throw shade
until you've provided it.
76
00:03:38,456 --> 00:03:40,328
Oh, God.
77
00:03:41,894 --> 00:03:44,593
Seriously, how could you
let Calvin do that to him?
78
00:03:44,636 --> 00:03:46,290
Oh, well, Gemma...
[sighs]
79
00:03:46,334 --> 00:03:47,552
he was awful.
80
00:03:47,596 --> 00:03:49,989
I mean, he couldn't shoot,
he couldn't pass,
81
00:03:50,033 --> 00:03:53,079
and when he jumped,
I don't know, somehow...
82
00:03:53,123 --> 00:03:55,125
he got lower.
83
00:03:56,605 --> 00:03:58,520
How is that even possible?
84
00:03:58,563 --> 00:03:59,782
No one knows.
85
00:03:59,825 --> 00:04:02,872
♪
86
00:04:04,961 --> 00:04:07,224
Aw, how about this one?
87
00:04:07,268 --> 00:04:09,574
Your old hall monitor vest.
88
00:04:11,272 --> 00:04:13,578
Keep or trash it?
89
00:04:13,622 --> 00:04:16,364
Uh, trash. I don't want
to be one of those guys
90
00:04:16,407 --> 00:04:17,713
that's stuck
in his glory days.
91
00:04:17,756 --> 00:04:19,280
[chuckles]
92
00:04:20,368 --> 00:04:22,239
Whoa, what is
going on in here?
93
00:04:22,283 --> 00:04:25,155
Looks like somebody turned a
nerd upside down and shook him.
94
00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:26,896
[laughs]
95
00:04:26,939 --> 00:04:30,029
No, we're just clearing out
a few of Marty's old things.
96
00:04:30,073 --> 00:04:31,727
Your father was complaining
about my stuff
97
00:04:31,770 --> 00:04:33,163
crowding his side of the closet.
98
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:35,339
Oh, so you're moving
some of your stuff here?
99
00:04:35,383 --> 00:04:36,688
No, his.
100
00:04:37,733 --> 00:04:39,169
And if he complains again,
101
00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:40,649
he's getting moved here, too.
102
00:04:42,477 --> 00:04:44,827
Hey, check it out--
my old snake terrarium.
103
00:04:44,870 --> 00:04:47,220
Oh, yeah,
I remember Slinky.
104
00:04:47,264 --> 00:04:49,266
You thought you would look cool
showing up at parties
105
00:04:49,310 --> 00:04:50,572
with a snake around your neck.
106
00:04:50,615 --> 00:04:53,052
Well, I would have
if he hadn't escaped.
107
00:04:53,096 --> 00:04:55,403
Or if you were ever invited
to a party.
108
00:04:55,446 --> 00:04:57,274
[chuckling]
109
00:04:57,318 --> 00:04:58,841
Malcolm, stop being so
mean to your brother.
110
00:04:58,884 --> 00:05:00,625
Yeah, thanks, Mom.Now, get your old,
111
00:05:00,669 --> 00:05:02,061
stupid childhood
crap out of here.
112
00:05:02,105 --> 00:05:04,499
[chuckling]:
Out of here.
113
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:08,590
I don't blame Slinky
for running away.
114
00:05:08,633 --> 00:05:11,157
I would take off, too,
if my owner was
115
00:05:11,201 --> 00:05:14,247
an "Official Klingon
Ambassador."
116
00:05:14,291 --> 00:05:17,468
Well, actually...
117
00:05:17,512 --> 00:05:20,297
Slinky didn't exactly run away.
118
00:05:20,341 --> 00:05:21,516
What?
119
00:05:21,559 --> 00:05:22,604
Ooh, I hated that thing.
120
00:05:22,647 --> 00:05:24,388
It freaked the hell out of me.
121
00:05:24,432 --> 00:05:27,609
So, one day, you
boys were in school,
122
00:05:27,652 --> 00:05:30,612
and I put it in a bag and
drove it to the woods.
123
00:05:33,441 --> 00:05:34,485
You let it go?
124
00:05:34,529 --> 00:05:36,182
Yeah, let's go with that.
125
00:05:37,706 --> 00:05:39,925
I can't believe
Marty never found out.
126
00:05:39,969 --> 00:05:41,492
And he never will, right?
127
00:05:41,536 --> 00:05:44,669
Hey, well, don't worry,
I did not hear a thing.
128
00:05:44,713 --> 00:05:46,279
Yeah.
[chuckles]
129
00:05:46,323 --> 00:05:47,759
But I did!
130
00:05:48,804 --> 00:05:50,762
[sobbing]
131
00:05:50,806 --> 00:05:53,330
♪
132
00:05:55,463 --> 00:05:57,552
Calvin.
133
00:05:57,595 --> 00:05:59,684
Oh. Hey, Gemma.
134
00:05:59,728 --> 00:06:00,816
Equipment manager?
135
00:06:00,859 --> 00:06:03,122
You made my son
the equipment manager?
136
00:06:03,166 --> 00:06:04,994
Hey.
137
00:06:05,037 --> 00:06:08,519
It's the most important person
on the team...
138
00:06:08,563 --> 00:06:11,261
who's not technically
on the team.
139
00:06:12,784 --> 00:06:14,743
Calvin, I played
varsity lacrosse,
140
00:06:14,786 --> 00:06:17,136
and we all know what happens
to equipment managers.
141
00:06:17,180 --> 00:06:19,748
They get teased and
shoved into lockers.
142
00:06:19,791 --> 00:06:22,751
At least that's what
we did to ours.
[chuckles]
143
00:06:22,794 --> 00:06:25,667
Yeah, those were
the good old days, right?
144
00:06:25,710 --> 00:06:29,061
I stuffed more geeks
into lockers than I did books.
145
00:06:30,715 --> 00:06:32,891
Calvin, being on a team
made me resilient.
146
00:06:32,935 --> 00:06:34,632
It toughened me up.
147
00:06:34,676 --> 00:06:36,329
And that's what I
want for Grover.
148
00:06:36,373 --> 00:06:38,244
But... [sighs]
149
00:06:38,288 --> 00:06:41,117
he's the worst player
I've ever coached.
150
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,380
And I coached Marty.
151
00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:46,601
It was one practice.
152
00:06:46,644 --> 00:06:48,472
I'm sure he'll get better.
153
00:06:48,516 --> 00:06:50,169
Besides, I thought
you told Dave
154
00:06:50,213 --> 00:06:52,433
you were the best
coach in the world.
155
00:06:52,476 --> 00:06:54,739
I never said that.
156
00:06:54,783 --> 00:06:56,393
I'm not an egomaniac.
157
00:06:56,437 --> 00:06:57,829
[scoffs]
158
00:06:57,873 --> 00:06:59,396
I said California.
159
00:07:00,789 --> 00:07:02,399
Look, it was your idea
160
00:07:02,443 --> 00:07:04,749
to put him on the team
in the first place, so...
161
00:07:04,793 --> 00:07:06,142
put him on the team.
162
00:07:06,185 --> 00:07:09,885
Unless you want to be
stuffed into a locker.
163
00:07:16,282 --> 00:07:18,546
[footsteps stomping up steps]
164
00:07:18,589 --> 00:07:20,548
[door slams shut]Wow.
165
00:07:20,591 --> 00:07:23,464
For a tiny little white girl,
she's kind of scary.
166
00:07:23,507 --> 00:07:26,467
♪
167
00:07:26,510 --> 00:07:27,642
I can't believe it.
168
00:07:27,685 --> 00:07:30,035
You murdered Slinky.
169
00:07:30,079 --> 00:07:31,733
Well, it was self-defense.
170
00:07:31,776 --> 00:07:33,735
As soon as he saw
my snakeskin boots,
171
00:07:33,778 --> 00:07:35,693
I knew he was coming for me.
172
00:07:37,565 --> 00:07:39,088
Yeah, hey, look, come on, Marty.
173
00:07:39,131 --> 00:07:41,656
It's been almost 15 years, man.
Let it go.
174
00:07:41,699 --> 00:07:43,396
Well, it's easy
for you to say.
175
00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:45,877
You're not the one
who loved him, cared for him,
176
00:07:45,921 --> 00:07:48,619
took him outside
for his nightly slithers.
177
00:07:50,316 --> 00:07:51,753
Okay, Marty,
178
00:07:51,796 --> 00:07:52,841
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have
179
00:07:52,884 --> 00:07:54,320
gotten rid of your
pet like that.
180
00:07:54,364 --> 00:07:56,192
What can I do to
make it up to you?
181
00:07:56,235 --> 00:07:57,410
Well, that depends.
182
00:07:57,454 --> 00:07:58,977
What else have you
lied to me about?
183
00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:00,849
Did my old Space Camp buddy
Winston Chang
184
00:08:00,892 --> 00:08:03,460
really move back to China,
or did you kill him, too?
185
00:08:06,115 --> 00:08:08,596
Okay, Marty, come on.
186
00:08:08,639 --> 00:08:10,815
Let me do something
to make you feel better.
187
00:08:10,859 --> 00:08:12,164
Like what?
188
00:08:12,208 --> 00:08:13,601
Anything. Just name it.
189
00:08:13,644 --> 00:08:16,299
Well, I-I do love
your seafood jambalaya.
190
00:08:16,342 --> 00:08:18,040
Oh.
191
00:08:18,083 --> 00:08:20,042
Wow.
192
00:08:20,085 --> 00:08:22,784
I mean, with all the shopping
and the prep,
193
00:08:22,827 --> 00:08:24,873
that's gonna take all day.
194
00:08:24,916 --> 00:08:26,744
Yeah, you're right.
It does take a lot of time.
195
00:08:26,788 --> 00:08:30,052
Yeah.Although death is forever.
196
00:08:34,491 --> 00:08:37,581
Okay. Fine.
I'll go to the market right now.
197
00:08:37,625 --> 00:08:38,843
Well, hey, Ma, since
you out there...
198
00:08:38,887 --> 00:08:40,105
I didn't kill your pet.
199
00:08:46,068 --> 00:08:48,461
Oh, man, I'm really
surprised how upset you are.
200
00:08:48,505 --> 00:08:50,855
I didn't realize how much
you loved that snake.
201
00:08:51,813 --> 00:08:53,554
Well, actually...
202
00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:58,254
I hated that damn thing!
203
00:08:58,297 --> 00:09:00,125
What?
204
00:09:00,169 --> 00:09:01,518
Well, it was terrifying.
205
00:09:01,562 --> 00:09:03,476
Like a giant piece
of spaghetti with teeth.
206
00:09:06,001 --> 00:09:07,437
[scoffs]
All right, well,
207
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,570
then why are you giving
Mama such a hard time?
208
00:09:09,613 --> 00:09:12,573
I'll tell you why-- to teach her
a lesson in honesty.
209
00:09:12,616 --> 00:09:14,923
By lying to her?
210
00:09:16,185 --> 00:09:18,448
Well, I-I wouldn't
call it lying.
211
00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:19,928
Okay, then what
would you call it?
212
00:09:19,971 --> 00:09:21,407
Well, I...
213
00:09:21,451 --> 00:09:23,627
Oh, give me a break, Malcolm.
I'm in mourning.
214
00:09:23,671 --> 00:09:25,455
What?
215
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:28,327
Okay, Grover, you ever
heard the phrase
216
00:09:28,371 --> 00:09:30,460
"he got game"?Sure.
217
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:31,983
Well, you ain't got none.
218
00:09:34,159 --> 00:09:36,945
But I promised your mom
I'd turn you into a player,
219
00:09:36,988 --> 00:09:38,642
and that's what I'm gonna do.
220
00:09:38,686 --> 00:09:43,168
But I can't dribble,
I can't shoot, I can't pass.
221
00:09:43,212 --> 00:09:46,476
Don't forget you suck
at rebounding, too.
222
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:48,173
I know.
If I have to play,
223
00:09:48,217 --> 00:09:50,393
I'm just gonna go out there
and embarrass myself.
224
00:09:50,436 --> 00:09:53,222
Oh, oh, oh, don't worry.
Look, I got a plan.
225
00:09:53,265 --> 00:09:55,833
You remember when
Jorge tried to get
226
00:09:55,877 --> 00:09:57,835
the extra orange
slice at practice
227
00:09:57,879 --> 00:09:59,968
and you slapped his hand away?
228
00:10:00,011 --> 00:10:01,317
Not on my watch.
229
00:10:03,798 --> 00:10:08,890
That's why I'm gonna
make you the enforcer.
230
00:10:08,933 --> 00:10:10,239
The enforcer?
231
00:10:10,282 --> 00:10:12,981
That kind of sounds
like a superhero.
232
00:10:13,024 --> 00:10:14,286
It is.
233
00:10:14,330 --> 00:10:17,246
But instead of saving people,
your job
234
00:10:17,289 --> 00:10:19,030
is to elbow them,
235
00:10:19,074 --> 00:10:22,077
foul and scare the crap
out of other kids.
236
00:10:23,731 --> 00:10:24,949
Am I allowed to do that?
237
00:10:24,993 --> 00:10:27,038
Up to six times a game.
238
00:10:28,518 --> 00:10:29,911
Okay, so here.
239
00:10:29,954 --> 00:10:31,913
Pretend I'm on
the other team
240
00:10:31,956 --> 00:10:33,088
and we're fighting
for a rebound.
241
00:10:33,131 --> 00:10:34,393
Show me what you got.
242
00:10:34,437 --> 00:10:35,525
Come on.
243
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:36,744
[grunts fiercely][groans]
244
00:10:40,095 --> 00:10:42,227
[straining]: And your mom
said I wasn't a good coach.
245
00:10:42,271 --> 00:10:43,664
[blows whistle]
246
00:10:51,584 --> 00:10:54,936
Oh, look at Grover
out there.
247
00:10:54,979 --> 00:10:58,243
He looks so grown-up
in his uniform.
248
00:10:58,287 --> 00:11:00,419
Mommy loves you,
snuggle bug!
249
00:11:00,463 --> 00:11:01,943
Mommy!
250
00:11:03,553 --> 00:11:05,120
I'm so nervous for him.
251
00:11:05,163 --> 00:11:06,861
It feels like opening
night at the school play.
252
00:11:06,904 --> 00:11:08,514
My leaves were
shaking so bad,
253
00:11:08,558 --> 00:11:10,995
they had to add a line
about the gusty wind.[chuckles]
254
00:11:12,257 --> 00:11:13,302
[buzzer sounds]
255
00:11:13,345 --> 00:11:14,651
Come on,
bring it in.
256
00:11:14,695 --> 00:11:16,305
All right, guys.
257
00:11:16,348 --> 00:11:17,959
We're gonna go out there,
we're gonna play hard,
258
00:11:18,002 --> 00:11:20,439
we're gonna have fun,
but most importantly,
259
00:11:20,483 --> 00:11:23,442
show good sportsmanship.
260
00:11:23,486 --> 00:11:25,314
Go Lions!TEAM: Roar!
261
00:11:25,357 --> 00:11:26,924
Let's get it.
262
00:11:26,968 --> 00:11:28,752
Whoa, whoa, hey, Grover.
263
00:11:28,796 --> 00:11:31,581
All that good sportsmanship
stuff doesn't apply to you.
264
00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:32,800
Got it.
265
00:11:32,843 --> 00:11:35,890
Hey-hey, and, uh,
here's your mouth guard.
266
00:11:35,933 --> 00:11:37,587
Safety first.
267
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:39,023
Yours, not theirs.
268
00:11:40,677 --> 00:11:42,592
Thanks, Coach Calvin.
269
00:11:43,811 --> 00:11:45,116
[whistle blows]
270
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,423
Oh, my God,
Grover's starting.
271
00:11:48,206 --> 00:11:50,687
That's my son!
Number 12!
272
00:11:50,731 --> 00:11:52,080
That's my
snuggly son!
273
00:11:53,385 --> 00:11:55,648
Wow, yesterday Grover
was the water boy.
274
00:11:55,692 --> 00:11:57,041
Today he's in
the starting five.
275
00:11:57,085 --> 00:11:58,826
I mean, at this rate,
tomorrow he's gonna be...
276
00:11:58,869 --> 00:12:00,044
[boy grunts][thud]
277
00:12:00,088 --> 00:12:01,176
[whistle blows]
278
00:12:01,219 --> 00:12:03,221
Foul, number 12!
279
00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:05,310
...in jail.
280
00:12:15,494 --> 00:12:17,670
Dude.Yo, what's up, man?
281
00:12:17,714 --> 00:12:21,370
Don't tell me you guilted Mom
into baking you a pie?
282
00:12:21,413 --> 00:12:23,546
I sure did.
283
00:12:23,589 --> 00:12:26,157
Revenge is a dish
best served à la mode.
284
00:12:27,768 --> 00:12:31,119
Okay, Marty, I'm off
to clean your apartment.
285
00:12:31,989 --> 00:12:33,251
Thanks, Mama.
286
00:12:33,295 --> 00:12:35,863
Now, you sure you're okay
doing this for me?
287
00:12:35,906 --> 00:12:38,082
Oh, anything for my baby.
288
00:12:38,126 --> 00:12:40,606
Great. Make sure you use
the pine scent,
289
00:12:40,650 --> 00:12:42,391
because the lemon
tickles my nose.
290
00:12:42,434 --> 00:12:46,134
Okay, let me see if I have any.
291
00:12:46,177 --> 00:12:49,180
I should've took hisass
to the woods.
292
00:12:50,791 --> 00:12:52,793
You know what?
That's it, man.
293
00:12:52,836 --> 00:12:53,881
You're taking
this too far.
294
00:12:53,924 --> 00:12:55,317
I'm telling Mama the truth.
295
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,145
Well, would a piece
of this delicious blueberry pie
296
00:12:57,188 --> 00:12:58,581
change your mind?
297
00:12:58,624 --> 00:13:00,975
Do you seriously think
you can buy me off with pie?
298
00:13:01,018 --> 00:13:03,194
What about tickets
to the Lakers game?
299
00:13:05,544 --> 00:13:07,329
Mama got you Laker tickets?
300
00:13:09,635 --> 00:13:12,508
Not yet, but if I can figure
out how to make myself cry,
301
00:13:12,551 --> 00:13:16,033
it'll be Jack Nicholson,
you, and me on the floor.
302
00:13:17,643 --> 00:13:19,602
Okay, I'm off.
303
00:13:19,645 --> 00:13:22,083
Here come the tears.Aah!
304
00:13:22,126 --> 00:13:26,043
[groans]Oh, oh...
305
00:13:26,087 --> 00:13:27,653
Oh, I know.
306
00:13:27,697 --> 00:13:29,307
[Marty crying]
307
00:13:29,351 --> 00:13:32,093
It's okay, baby bro.[crying]
308
00:13:32,136 --> 00:13:34,051
Slinky's in heaven now.
309
00:13:34,095 --> 00:13:35,357
[Marty crying]
310
00:13:37,228 --> 00:13:39,100
What the hell is going on
out there?
311
00:13:39,143 --> 00:13:41,189
Grover's
out of control.
312
00:13:41,232 --> 00:13:43,147
Okay, uh...
313
00:13:43,191 --> 00:13:45,062
so we got off to a pretty
aggressive start,
314
00:13:45,106 --> 00:13:47,021
but I think he's
beginning to calm down.
315
00:13:47,064 --> 00:13:50,502
I mean, he hasn't fouled
anybody in almost two minutes.
316
00:13:50,546 --> 00:13:52,461
Dave,
it's a time-out.
317
00:13:52,504 --> 00:13:54,898
[buzzer sounds]
318
00:13:54,942 --> 00:13:56,813
Okay. Come on!
319
00:13:58,293 --> 00:14:00,208
Look, maybe Calvin
called the time-out
320
00:14:00,251 --> 00:14:02,123
to tell Grover
to keep his elbows to himself.
321
00:14:02,166 --> 00:14:03,515
[boy grunts][thud]
322
00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:05,082
[whistle blows]REFEREE:
Foul, number 12!
323
00:14:08,694 --> 00:14:10,218
That's it.
I'm talking to Calvin.
324
00:14:10,261 --> 00:14:11,915
Okay, I'm coming, too.
325
00:14:11,959 --> 00:14:14,004
Even the parents on our team
look like they want to kill us.
326
00:14:15,179 --> 00:14:16,789
Come on, ref!
327
00:14:16,833 --> 00:14:18,400
That kid traveled so much,
328
00:14:18,443 --> 00:14:21,011
it's like he's going to see
his real daddy for the weekend.
329
00:14:24,449 --> 00:14:25,711
Calvin?
330
00:14:25,755 --> 00:14:28,149
What the hell?
Grover's acting like an animal!
331
00:14:28,192 --> 00:14:29,498
I know, right?
332
00:14:31,195 --> 00:14:34,633
Forget California, I may be
the best coach in the world.
333
00:14:34,677 --> 00:14:37,332
I asked you to teach him
how to play basketball,
334
00:14:37,375 --> 00:14:39,290
not turn him
into a goon.
335
00:14:39,334 --> 00:14:42,163
Hey, you told me
to toughen him up.
336
00:14:42,206 --> 00:14:43,773
Plus, we're winning.
337
00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:46,907
He might not even have
to use his last two fouls.
338
00:14:46,950 --> 00:14:48,169
[thud][whistle blows]
339
00:14:48,212 --> 00:14:50,345
REFEREE:
Foul, number 12!
340
00:14:52,347 --> 00:14:54,915
Okay, one foul.
341
00:14:56,264 --> 00:14:58,222
So you're not gonna do
anything about this?
342
00:14:58,266 --> 00:15:00,964
No. Not in the
middle of a game.
343
00:15:01,008 --> 00:15:02,618
Fine. Then I will.
344
00:15:05,055 --> 00:15:06,317
Hey!
345
00:15:08,232 --> 00:15:10,321
Oh, God, this is my mom
at the school play
346
00:15:10,365 --> 00:15:12,280
all over again.
347
00:15:12,323 --> 00:15:14,586
You want to teach my kid
how to play dirty?
348
00:15:14,630 --> 00:15:17,328
Good luck doing it without this.
349
00:15:26,511 --> 00:15:30,385
She does know we have a whole
rack of balls right here, right?
350
00:15:34,432 --> 00:15:36,173
This pie
is delicious.
351
00:15:36,217 --> 00:15:37,522
Yeah, I know.
352
00:15:37,566 --> 00:15:39,176
I always thought the
secret ingredient was love.
353
00:15:39,220 --> 00:15:42,745
Turns out, it's guilt.[chuckles]
354
00:15:42,788 --> 00:15:45,313
Hey, boys.
Hey.
Hey, Mama.
355
00:15:45,356 --> 00:15:46,357
What's that?
356
00:15:46,401 --> 00:15:48,969
A gift for you.
I think I finally
357
00:15:49,012 --> 00:15:50,840
figured out something
that will make up
358
00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:52,537
for what I
did to you.
359
00:15:52,581 --> 00:15:54,017
Oh, Mom,
you shouldn't have.
360
00:15:54,061 --> 00:15:55,714
Although, given
your savage betrayal,
361
00:15:55,758 --> 00:15:56,846
you probably should have.
362
00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:59,153
All right, well,
363
00:15:59,196 --> 00:16:00,719
open it, baby.
364
00:16:00,763 --> 00:16:02,199
Okay, well, whatever it is,
365
00:16:02,243 --> 00:16:03,374
hopefully it'll make me forget
366
00:16:03,418 --> 00:16:06,856
the memory of
my precious-- snake!
367
00:16:08,858 --> 00:16:13,384
Yeah. See, I realized
that there's no amount
368
00:16:13,428 --> 00:16:16,213
of cooking and cleaning
that could replace your snake.
369
00:16:16,257 --> 00:16:20,304
But maybe one that's
twice as big could.
370
00:16:20,348 --> 00:16:22,872
Ooh-ooh!Ah!
371
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:25,309
Aw! Do you love it?
372
00:16:25,353 --> 00:16:26,658
[chuckling]:
I know Ido.
373
00:16:26,702 --> 00:16:28,356
Ooh.
[laughs]
374
00:16:28,399 --> 00:16:31,359
Here, come on, let me
put him around your neck.
375
00:16:31,402 --> 00:16:34,884
Oh, look at him. Oh,
look at that, aw...
376
00:16:37,104 --> 00:16:39,236
He's so cute.
377
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:41,499
Look at him, Mama.
378
00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:43,414
He's so happy,
he's about to cry.
379
00:16:43,458 --> 00:16:45,329
[Malcolm and Tina chuckle]
380
00:16:45,373 --> 00:16:47,331
He gonna die.
381
00:16:47,375 --> 00:16:49,551
[whispering]:
Get it off.
382
00:16:49,594 --> 00:16:52,249
What, wha-what'd you say, baby?
I can't hear you.
383
00:16:52,293 --> 00:16:54,643
Get the snake--
get it-- get it off.Get it off?
384
00:16:54,686 --> 00:16:56,775
Like, take it off of your neck?
Oh, okay.
385
00:16:56,819 --> 00:16:58,777
Let me hold... You want
me to hold him? Okay.
386
00:16:58,821 --> 00:17:00,823
[screaming]
387
00:17:03,608 --> 00:17:06,350
And that's what you get
for messing with your mama!
388
00:17:06,394 --> 00:17:07,917
You better ask somebody!
389
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,224
[chuckles]
390
00:17:10,267 --> 00:17:12,400
So you knew, huh?
391
00:17:12,443 --> 00:17:14,837
Hell yeah, I knew!
392
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:17,231
I heard you two talking
when I was in the kitchen.
393
00:17:17,274 --> 00:17:19,450
Um, how much did you hear?
394
00:17:19,494 --> 00:17:22,366
Mmm, about this much!Aah!
395
00:17:23,498 --> 00:17:26,196
Selling out your own
mother for a Laker ticket?
396
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,503
You're an even bigger
snake than this one!
397
00:17:29,678 --> 00:17:31,288
Uh-oh,
where'd it go?
398
00:17:34,378 --> 00:17:36,119
Aw, hell no!
399
00:17:36,163 --> 00:17:38,295
I'm moving!
I'm moving!Go!
400
00:17:38,339 --> 00:17:40,341
[Tina yelling]
401
00:17:42,169 --> 00:17:45,302
Mom, Mom, you should've seen it!
I made the game-winning play!
402
00:17:45,346 --> 00:17:47,478
You scored a basket?
403
00:17:47,522 --> 00:17:50,742
No, I would have had to touch
the ball to do that.
404
00:17:53,876 --> 00:17:56,008
Oh, so you fouled another kid.
405
00:17:56,052 --> 00:17:58,141
Oh, no. He
didn't have to.
406
00:17:58,185 --> 00:17:59,751
The best player
on their team
407
00:17:59,795 --> 00:18:01,318
was about to score
the game-winning shot,
408
00:18:01,362 --> 00:18:03,015
but then, when
he saw Grover,
409
00:18:03,059 --> 00:18:05,453
he threw up an airball
and peed himself! [chuckles]
410
00:18:07,672 --> 00:18:10,022
Hey, come on, buddy.
Let's go inside.
411
00:18:10,066 --> 00:18:11,807
You should probably shower,
and, uh,
412
00:18:11,850 --> 00:18:14,201
I should probably
call an attorney.
413
00:18:17,204 --> 00:18:19,162
Well, Calvin,
congratulations.
414
00:18:19,206 --> 00:18:20,555
You turned my son into a monster
415
00:18:20,598 --> 00:18:23,035
just so you could win
a stupid basketball game.
416
00:18:23,079 --> 00:18:24,167
I hope you're happy.
417
00:18:25,212 --> 00:18:26,735
When you say it like that,
418
00:18:26,778 --> 00:18:28,171
it sounds like
I'm not supposed to be.
419
00:18:28,215 --> 00:18:30,304
Oh!
420
00:18:30,347 --> 00:18:32,088
You're unbelievable.
421
00:18:32,132 --> 00:18:33,307
Look, Gemma.
422
00:18:33,350 --> 00:18:35,178
You said that he had to play.
423
00:18:35,222 --> 00:18:37,180
Well, this is the only way
that he could do it
424
00:18:37,224 --> 00:18:38,747
without embarrassing himself.
425
00:18:38,790 --> 00:18:40,618
Oh, really?
426
00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:42,142
So this was just
about protecting him
427
00:18:42,185 --> 00:18:44,666
and not your precious
winning streak?
428
00:18:44,709 --> 00:18:46,146
Why can't it be both?
429
00:18:49,323 --> 00:18:50,759
Calvin, this was
supposed to be
430
00:18:50,802 --> 00:18:54,632
about teaching Grover
the value of being on a team.
431
00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:56,199
I trusted you.
432
00:18:56,243 --> 00:18:57,766
Think about it.
433
00:18:57,809 --> 00:19:01,465
If Grover would've went out
there and played terrible,
434
00:19:01,509 --> 00:19:05,556
and we lost, all the other kids
would have blamed him.
435
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,906
And then he would never
want to be on a team again.
436
00:19:07,950 --> 00:19:09,212
Is that
what you want?
437
00:19:09,256 --> 00:19:11,301
Well, obviously not.
438
00:19:11,345 --> 00:19:13,434
But I also don't want kids
wetting their pants
439
00:19:13,477 --> 00:19:14,609
when he walks into a room.
440
00:19:17,002 --> 00:19:18,221
Look, I was just trying
441
00:19:18,265 --> 00:19:19,831
to give him
a role on the team
442
00:19:19,875 --> 00:19:21,529
where he could feel good
about himself.
443
00:19:21,572 --> 00:19:23,792
Yeah, but there's nothing
to feel good about
444
00:19:23,835 --> 00:19:27,230
if he's not playing
the right way.
445
00:19:27,274 --> 00:19:30,015
All right. Okay.
446
00:19:30,059 --> 00:19:32,235
I hear you.
447
00:19:32,279 --> 00:19:36,021
Maybe I took it
a little too far.
448
00:19:36,065 --> 00:19:37,240
I apologize.
449
00:19:37,284 --> 00:19:38,763
Thank you.
450
00:19:38,807 --> 00:19:40,156
But you got
to admit,
451
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,637
he was having a good time
out there.
452
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:46,162
He did have a pretty
big smile on his face.Yeah.
453
00:19:46,206 --> 00:19:49,296
So I guess I have to
give you credit for that.
454
00:19:49,339 --> 00:19:52,864
Well, you don't vote yourself
best coach in California
455
00:19:52,908 --> 00:19:54,431
for nothing.[chuckling]
456
00:19:56,390 --> 00:19:58,827
I'll tell you what,
I'll keep working with Grover
457
00:19:58,870 --> 00:20:01,438
on his fundamentals,
bring him up to speed.
458
00:20:01,482 --> 00:20:02,918
Thank you.
459
00:20:02,961 --> 00:20:06,269
And promise me, next
game, no more fouling.
460
00:20:06,313 --> 00:20:07,705
Not a problem.
461
00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:10,317
You don't have to worry
about that at all.
462
00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:12,319
He's been suspended
for the rest of the season.
463
00:20:18,629 --> 00:20:20,327
Hey, Calvin...
464
00:20:22,416 --> 00:20:25,288
I just hit 12 minutes.
Personal best.
465
00:20:25,332 --> 00:20:28,509
I've been watching
for five seconds.
466
00:20:28,552 --> 00:20:30,162
Personal worst.
467
00:20:30,206 --> 00:20:32,252
[chuckling]:
All right, come on.
468
00:20:32,295 --> 00:20:33,731
Why don't you
give it a try?
469
00:20:33,775 --> 00:20:35,603
Absolutely not.
470
00:20:35,646 --> 00:20:38,083
Calvin, you have
the wrong attitude.
471
00:20:38,127 --> 00:20:40,172
It's stop making fun ofit
472
00:20:40,216 --> 00:20:41,435
and start making fun
473
00:20:41,478 --> 00:20:43,785
a-withit.
474
00:20:45,439 --> 00:20:49,356
Fine.
I'll give it a spin.
475
00:20:52,446 --> 00:20:53,795
Hey, man!
476
00:20:54,883 --> 00:20:56,363
Huh.
477
00:20:56,406 --> 00:20:58,626
That was more fun
than I thought.
478
00:20:58,669 --> 00:21:00,671
Snake!
479
00:21:00,715 --> 00:21:02,891
Captioning sponsored by
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480
00:21:02,934 --> 00:21:04,936
Captioned by
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