1
00:00:14,513 --> 00:00:16,646
Oh, Lord, not today.
2
00:00:16,689 --> 00:00:18,865
Hey, Calvin, greetings...
3
00:00:18,909 --> 00:00:21,172
from the future.
4
00:00:21,216 --> 00:00:23,435
Goodbye... from the now.
5
00:00:23,479 --> 00:00:25,350
Just checking out
this sweet ride
6
00:00:25,394 --> 00:00:27,309
to make sure it's
safe for Grover.
7
00:00:27,352 --> 00:00:29,746
Have you fallenon your ass yet?
8
00:00:29,789 --> 00:00:31,313
Not yet.
9
00:00:31,356 --> 00:00:33,706
Oh, well, then,
looks like I have a few minutes.
10
00:00:33,750 --> 00:00:38,189
Now, I always test out Grover's
toys before I give them to him.
11
00:00:38,233 --> 00:00:39,601
I've swallowed
every size Lego there is
12
00:00:39,625 --> 00:00:41,366
to make sure
they're not a choking hazard.
13
00:00:41,410 --> 00:00:42,715
Turns out, some of them are.
14
00:00:44,761 --> 00:00:46,608
Dave, I got to get to work,
so if you're gonna fall,
15
00:00:46,632 --> 00:00:48,112
you know, let's make it happen.
16
00:00:48,156 --> 00:00:49,766
Actually,
17
00:00:49,809 --> 00:00:52,464
I'm starting
to get the hang of this thing.
18
00:00:52,508 --> 00:00:54,466
It's a lot easier than it looks!
19
00:00:54,510 --> 00:00:56,381
Whoa, whoa!
Dave, watch out!
20
00:00:56,425 --> 00:00:58,122
Oh!
21
00:01:01,517 --> 00:01:03,475
Hey, man, are you all right?
22
00:01:03,519 --> 00:01:04,911
Yes, but...
23
00:01:04,955 --> 00:01:07,349
Did you see that
idiot out there?
24
00:01:07,392 --> 00:01:09,438
Yeah, that speeding caralmost hit him.
25
00:01:10,526 --> 00:01:12,876
Are you sure you're okay?
26
00:01:12,919 --> 00:01:14,704
Yeah, I'm-I'm fine, thanks.
27
00:01:14,747 --> 00:01:17,663
Well, good. Well, look,
I'm late for work, but, um,
28
00:01:17,707 --> 00:01:19,578
this was totally worth it.
29
00:01:21,580 --> 00:01:23,515
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
30
00:01:23,539 --> 00:01:24,670
♪ Welcome to the hood.
31
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,765
Oh, hey, Dave.
32
00:01:32,809 --> 00:01:34,637
Hey, Calvin. I need
your signature.
33
00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:36,421
I told you,
I am not autographing
34
00:01:36,465 --> 00:01:38,249
that picture of us at Benihanas.
35
00:01:38,293 --> 00:01:41,209
I'm not here for that.
36
00:01:41,252 --> 00:01:43,167
But FYI, everyone else
at the table signed it.
37
00:01:44,299 --> 00:01:45,561
Look, I'm sorry, Dave.
38
00:01:45,604 --> 00:01:47,215
I don't want Calvin
signing anything.
39
00:01:47,258 --> 00:01:49,498
I'm still trying to get him
outof that damn record club.
40
00:01:50,479 --> 00:01:51,741
Three years and 20 more CDs,
41
00:01:51,784 --> 00:01:53,177
and I'm scot-free.
42
00:01:54,831 --> 00:01:57,790
Well, you know, actually,
after yesterday,
43
00:01:57,834 --> 00:01:59,464
I decided to do something
about all the speeders.
44
00:01:59,488 --> 00:02:01,272
It turns out
there's a new navigation app
45
00:02:01,316 --> 00:02:03,511
that's sending cars downour
street to beat the traffic.
46
00:02:03,535 --> 00:02:05,537
You know, I usedone of those things once.
47
00:02:05,581 --> 00:02:07,452
The stupid thing told me
48
00:02:07,496 --> 00:02:09,976
to drive throughsomeone's backyard.
49
00:02:10,020 --> 00:02:12,805
But on the plus side,
I saved about three minutes.
50
00:02:12,849 --> 00:02:14,807
Well, you know,
51
00:02:14,851 --> 00:02:17,288
I did some research, and the
city will put in a speed bump
52
00:02:17,332 --> 00:02:19,252
if I get a signature from
everyone on the street.
53
00:02:19,290 --> 00:02:20,509
You're my first stop.
54
00:02:20,552 --> 00:02:22,554
And your last one.
55
00:02:23,860 --> 00:02:26,689
A white guy goingdoor-to-door
for signatures
56
00:02:26,732 --> 00:02:27,951
in this neighborhood?
57
00:02:27,994 --> 00:02:30,432
Nice knowing you, Dave.
58
00:02:30,475 --> 00:02:32,434
What Calvin is trying to say...
59
00:02:32,477 --> 00:02:35,480
People around here are a little
suspicious of getting scammed.
60
00:02:35,524 --> 00:02:37,613
You know? Dwayne Wilson
thought he was signing up
61
00:02:37,656 --> 00:02:39,876
for free HBO
and ended up in the Marines.
62
00:02:41,312 --> 00:02:43,358
Poor bastard just made colonel.
63
00:02:46,056 --> 00:02:47,884
Well, if door-to-door
64
00:02:47,927 --> 00:02:49,625
isn't gonna work,
what should I do?
65
00:02:49,668 --> 00:02:51,540
Well, first, if you want people
66
00:02:51,583 --> 00:02:53,019
to sign anything around here,
67
00:02:53,063 --> 00:02:55,761
you got to earn their trust.
Mm.
68
00:02:55,805 --> 00:02:57,067
Well, how do I do that?
69
00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:59,025
Well, I mean,
they're all individuals, Dave.
70
00:02:59,069 --> 00:03:02,725
For example,
Trey likes to talk about sports
71
00:03:02,768 --> 00:03:05,902
and how paternity tests
can be wrong sometimes.
72
00:03:07,817 --> 00:03:10,515
And Old Miss Kim likestalking
about Bingo, her garden
73
00:03:10,559 --> 00:03:13,562
and how her milkshakebrings
all the boys to the yard.
74
00:03:15,868 --> 00:03:17,522
And whatever you do,
75
00:03:17,566 --> 00:03:21,309
do not ask Little Hatchet
how she got her nickname.
76
00:03:21,352 --> 00:03:23,702
Or why she got a
divorce, but they're
77
00:03:23,746 --> 00:03:25,946
basically both
the same story. Basically the same story.
78
00:03:28,925 --> 00:03:31,449
Man, it sounds like I've
bit offmore than I can chew.
79
00:03:31,493 --> 00:03:34,670
This is that Lego fireman
all over again.
80
00:03:34,713 --> 00:03:36,715
Dave, just invite
everybody over,
81
00:03:36,759 --> 00:03:38,587
give them some food,
and they'll sign.
82
00:03:38,630 --> 00:03:40,763
It'll only work
if you do one thing.
83
00:03:41,459 --> 00:03:44,332
Feed 'em catfish and cornbread.
84
00:03:44,375 --> 00:03:45,768
Why that?
85
00:03:45,811 --> 00:03:47,987
Because that's
what I'm in the mood for.
86
00:03:56,561 --> 00:03:58,520
Hey, G-man,
87
00:03:58,563 --> 00:04:00,086
what are you doing?
88
00:04:00,130 --> 00:04:02,741
Just playing soccer in my head.
89
00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:04,395
Hey, I just scored!
90
00:04:05,962 --> 00:04:08,399
Well, I used to pretendlike
that in my head.
91
00:04:08,443 --> 00:04:10,096
Except instead of soccer, it was girls.
92
00:04:11,663 --> 00:04:13,491
Yeah, but you never scored.
93
00:04:14,797 --> 00:04:16,799
So, why are you just
pretending to play
94
00:04:16,842 --> 00:04:19,105
when you got this whole lawn
right here?
95
00:04:19,149 --> 00:04:20,933
Since my dad almost got hit
by a car,
96
00:04:20,977 --> 00:04:22,761
my mom won't let me play
near the street.
97
00:04:22,805 --> 00:04:24,502
She's being crazy.
98
00:04:24,546 --> 00:04:27,331
No, I just think she's
beingcautious and protective.
99
00:04:27,375 --> 00:04:28,985
No, she's being crazy. Watch.
100
00:04:31,422 --> 00:04:33,859
Grover, I told you
to stay on the porch! Whoa!
101
00:04:36,166 --> 00:04:39,082
Wow, Gemma. You got here
before your voice did.
102
00:04:39,125 --> 00:04:40,692
Sorry.
103
00:04:40,736 --> 00:04:42,564
I'm just so worried about
Grover getting hurt.
104
00:04:42,607 --> 00:04:45,131
You know, with all the cars
zipping up and down the street.
105
00:04:45,175 --> 00:04:46,655
Yeah, we get it.
106
00:04:46,698 --> 00:04:48,831
Our mom was afraid of
a lot of stuff, too.
107
00:04:48,874 --> 00:04:51,094
We spent half our childhood
locked up like Grover here
108
00:04:51,137 --> 00:04:53,139
in porch jail.
109
00:04:53,183 --> 00:04:55,446
Yeah, she put us in therefor
earthquakes, pit bulls,
110
00:04:55,490 --> 00:04:56,969
that guywith the ice cream truck
111
00:04:57,013 --> 00:04:59,015
that never hadany ice cream.
112
00:05:03,193 --> 00:05:05,935
Well, hey, we are goingto
check out the Pasadena fair.
113
00:05:05,978 --> 00:05:08,154
Why don't you let us take
Grover with us?
114
00:05:08,198 --> 00:05:10,592
Can I, Mom, please?
115
00:05:10,635 --> 00:05:12,594
I don't know.
116
00:05:12,637 --> 00:05:15,161
Do you promise notto do anything dangerous?
117
00:05:15,205 --> 00:05:16,641
Oh, absolutely.
118
00:05:16,685 --> 00:05:18,164
I guarantee we will have
119
00:05:18,208 --> 00:05:21,864
a no-fun, danger-free,
super-boring time.
120
00:05:21,907 --> 00:05:25,389
Uh, I'm not sure
I want to go anymore.
121
00:05:27,217 --> 00:05:29,654
Hey, zip it, kid, we're
trying to break you out.
122
00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:36,182
I haven't
123
00:05:36,226 --> 00:05:37,769
seen this much of
the block in one place
124
00:05:37,793 --> 00:05:39,751
since Colonel Wilson
got home from Iraq.
125
00:05:41,710 --> 00:05:43,886
And everyone isloving my food.
126
00:05:43,929 --> 00:05:47,063
No one's even noticed thatthe
catfish is actually tofu.
127
00:05:47,106 --> 00:05:49,892
Uh-uh. This ain't right.
128
00:05:53,112 --> 00:05:55,201
Calvin, you were right.
This was the perfect way
129
00:05:55,245 --> 00:05:57,769
to get the whole streeton
board for the speed bump.
130
00:05:57,813 --> 00:05:59,684
What can I say, Dave?
These are my people.
131
00:05:59,728 --> 00:06:01,077
I love them, and they love me.
132
00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:03,122
Out of the way, jackass.
133
00:06:04,907 --> 00:06:07,431
Who's that? Oh, that's Walter.
134
00:06:07,475 --> 00:06:09,520
That's the jerk that lives
on the other side of me.
135
00:06:09,564 --> 00:06:11,803
Oh, man, I've never seen him
outside of the house before.
136
00:06:11,827 --> 00:06:13,872
Yeah, because he only
comes out at night,
137
00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:16,440
like bats and vampires.
138
00:06:16,484 --> 00:06:19,487
Well, now that everybody's here, let's...
let's get started.
139
00:06:19,530 --> 00:06:24,448
Okay, uh, if I could have
everyone's attention, please.
140
00:06:24,492 --> 00:06:27,973
An easel? Is he gonna talk
abouta speed bump or paint one?
141
00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:31,063
Dave lovesgiving presentations.
142
00:06:31,107 --> 00:06:32,587
One time I asked him why,
143
00:06:32,630 --> 00:06:35,981
and he answeredwith a
ten-minute presentation.
144
00:06:36,025 --> 00:06:38,593
Okay, now, I don't want to
taketoo much of your time,
145
00:06:38,636 --> 00:06:40,159
so I'll just get right to it.
146
00:06:42,553 --> 00:06:44,120
Pasadena.
147
00:06:46,644 --> 00:06:49,517
Jewel of the San Gabriel Valley.
148
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,954
Established in 1874,
but, you know,
149
00:06:51,997 --> 00:06:53,738
oddly, not incorporated until...
150
00:06:53,782 --> 00:06:56,088
How long is this gonna take?
151
00:06:57,263 --> 00:06:59,657
I have plans
with a gentleman tonight,
152
00:06:59,701 --> 00:07:03,008
and I'm hoping
he's not gonna be a gentleman.
153
00:07:03,052 --> 00:07:05,489
Yeah.
154
00:07:05,533 --> 00:07:08,710
And I got a cable guy coming
between now and Friday.
155
00:07:10,842 --> 00:07:12,888
Hey, hey, Dave,
you-you maywant to speed this up.
156
00:07:12,931 --> 00:07:14,716
Yeah, got it. Okay, uh,
157
00:07:14,759 --> 00:07:16,848
skipping
the Industrial Revolution,
158
00:07:16,892 --> 00:07:19,895
the sinking of the Titanic,
uh, World War I...
159
00:07:22,201 --> 00:07:25,596
The automobile.
160
00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:27,119
I'm out.
161
00:07:27,163 --> 00:07:29,121
It's not worththe free food.
162
00:07:29,165 --> 00:07:30,601
I can come over earlier.
163
00:07:30,645 --> 00:07:32,298
Got to go.
164
00:07:32,342 --> 00:07:34,997
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay.
All right, hold up, everybody.
165
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:36,607
Come on now.
166
00:07:36,651 --> 00:07:39,305
I want to walk out on Dave
just as much as you do,
167
00:07:39,349 --> 00:07:42,308
but he actually has
something important to say.
168
00:07:42,352 --> 00:07:45,660
More important than this sweet
piece of meat right here?
169
00:07:49,185 --> 00:07:51,709
Okay, all right, guys.
170
00:07:51,753 --> 00:07:53,058
Look, we've all seen how fast
171
00:07:53,102 --> 00:07:55,017
these cars have beengoing down our streets.
172
00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:56,821
And I think it's timewe
do something about it.
173
00:07:56,845 --> 00:07:58,281
That's true. WOMAN:
You got a point.
174
00:07:58,324 --> 00:08:00,041
That is true. CALVIN:
Hey, come on out here, Dave.
175
00:08:00,065 --> 00:08:01,545
Come on now.
Come on now.
176
00:08:01,589 --> 00:08:02,894
Thank you, Calvin, and, look,
177
00:08:02,938 --> 00:08:05,070
I'll-I'll cut
right to the chase.
178
00:08:05,114 --> 00:08:07,551
To quote Henry Ford... Oh, you know what?
179
00:08:07,595 --> 00:08:10,162
To quote Calvin Butler,
if you sign, you can leave.
180
00:08:14,036 --> 00:08:16,168
♪
181
00:08:16,212 --> 00:08:18,344
So, how's thatdeep-fried pickle?
182
00:08:18,388 --> 00:08:21,957
It's pretty
disgusting. Um,
183
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,120
some things should not be
battered and put on a stick.
184
00:08:25,221 --> 00:08:28,616
Ooh, deep-fried butter.
185
00:08:30,748 --> 00:08:32,184
Whoa! Oh.
186
00:08:32,228 --> 00:08:34,752
Can we go
on that roller coaster?
187
00:08:34,796 --> 00:08:35,990
Uh, sorry, little man.
We promised your mom
188
00:08:36,014 --> 00:08:37,363
we wouldn't do
anything dangerous.
189
00:08:37,407 --> 00:08:39,801
And we already pushed our
luckwith the petting zoo.
190
00:08:39,844 --> 00:08:41,672
That pygmy goat triedto eat my jacket.
191
00:08:41,716 --> 00:08:44,849
Hey, how about we go
on the Ferris wheel?
192
00:08:44,893 --> 00:08:48,200
Ferris wheel?
That's the lamest ride here.
193
00:08:48,244 --> 00:08:50,202
Well, we can go back
to the bounce house.
194
00:08:50,246 --> 00:08:52,727
And if you promiseto be careful,
195
00:08:52,770 --> 00:08:55,773
this timewe'll let you jump.
196
00:08:55,817 --> 00:08:58,602
Fine, we'll go
on the stupid Ferris wheel.
197
00:08:58,646 --> 00:08:59,995
But you guys are boring.
198
00:09:02,911 --> 00:09:05,000
That kid's not as cute
as he used to be.
199
00:09:07,176 --> 00:09:08,830
Thank you.
200
00:09:08,873 --> 00:09:10,222
Oh, thank you so much.
201
00:09:10,266 --> 00:09:12,703
Yeah, good. Oh, here you go.
202
00:09:12,747 --> 00:09:14,400
Now, you surethis not for the Marines?
203
00:09:14,444 --> 00:09:16,402
Hmm.
204
00:09:16,446 --> 00:09:18,796
You'd be a lot safer
joining the Marines
205
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,885
than going over to
Miss Kim's tonight.
206
00:09:22,887 --> 00:09:25,237
I know. Pray for me.
207
00:09:28,458 --> 00:09:30,329
Hey, thanks for
backing me up, Calvin.
208
00:09:30,373 --> 00:09:32,114
Everyone's signing the petition.
209
00:09:32,157 --> 00:09:33,855
Well, nothing'smore important to me
210
00:09:33,898 --> 00:09:35,421
than the safetyof our neighborhood.
211
00:09:35,465 --> 00:09:37,423
I'll do anythingto protect these kids.
212
00:09:37,467 --> 00:09:39,121
Oh, hey, Walter.
If you could just sign
213
00:09:39,164 --> 00:09:40,426
on the last spot right there.
214
00:09:40,470 --> 00:09:43,081
Oh, yeah, I'd... I-I'd be happy to
215
00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:46,911
if Calvin finally agrees to
movehis fence off of my property.
216
00:09:47,912 --> 00:09:49,871
Well, Dave, we tried.
217
00:10:02,013 --> 00:10:04,015
Hey, Calvin, what
was that all about?
218
00:10:04,059 --> 00:10:08,237
That fool thinks my fence
issix inches onto his property.
219
00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:11,632
Is it? Whose side are you on, Dave?
220
00:10:12,937 --> 00:10:15,026
Calvin, Walter's
the last signature we need
221
00:10:15,070 --> 00:10:16,680
to get the speed bump.
222
00:10:16,724 --> 00:10:18,769
Look, that fence has been
theresince I moved in,
223
00:10:18,813 --> 00:10:20,292
and I'm not moving it now.
224
00:10:20,336 --> 00:10:23,295
Plus, if I give in to him
once, it won't stop there.
225
00:10:23,339 --> 00:10:26,995
I'm telling you, Dave,
kindness is a slippery slope.
226
00:10:28,736 --> 00:10:30,738
Well, okay, Calvin,
that's not true.
227
00:10:30,781 --> 00:10:33,305
Oh, yes, it is.
I said hello to you once,
228
00:10:33,349 --> 00:10:35,046
and look at us now.
229
00:10:37,092 --> 00:10:38,286
Okay, well, if you won't move,
230
00:10:38,310 --> 00:10:39,766
then how are we gonna get
the speed bump?
231
00:10:39,790 --> 00:10:42,967
Oh, that's easy.
Gonna wait for him to die.
232
00:10:43,011 --> 00:10:46,188
Hey, besides,
I got youall those other signatures.
233
00:10:46,231 --> 00:10:47,798
Yeah, which mean
absolutely nothing
234
00:10:47,842 --> 00:10:49,321
if we don't get Walter's.
235
00:10:49,365 --> 00:10:50,932
Well, I'm sorry, Dave.
236
00:10:50,975 --> 00:10:52,847
If it makes you feel any better,
237
00:10:52,890 --> 00:10:55,240
I'll sign the picture
of us at Benihana.
238
00:10:56,241 --> 00:10:57,460
It's too late.
239
00:10:57,503 --> 00:10:59,157
I already forged it.
240
00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:00,245
♪
241
00:11:03,901 --> 00:11:05,207
Ha-ha!
242
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:06,774
Wow! What a view!
243
00:11:06,817 --> 00:11:08,906
Yeah, check this
out, little man.
244
00:11:08,950 --> 00:11:11,213
You can see everything
from up here.
245
00:11:11,256 --> 00:11:13,519
Like how much fun
they're having over there
246
00:11:13,563 --> 00:11:15,739
on the roller coaster!
247
00:11:15,783 --> 00:11:17,219
Are you kidding?
248
00:11:17,262 --> 00:11:18,829
That doesn't looklike much fun at all.
249
00:11:20,091 --> 00:11:21,691
We are totally coming back heretomorrow.
250
00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:23,878
Whoa!
Whoa!
251
00:11:23,921 --> 00:11:25,183
Whoa! Hey, now, hey!
252
00:11:25,227 --> 00:11:26,358
What just happened?
253
00:11:26,402 --> 00:11:27,708
Uh, I don't know.
254
00:11:27,751 --> 00:11:29,840
Hey, maybe they're
just letting more riders on.
255
00:11:29,884 --> 00:11:31,102
Uh, or...
256
00:11:31,146 --> 00:11:32,546
maybe the motorjust caught on fire,
257
00:11:32,582 --> 00:11:35,150
and the operator triedto
put it out with his beer!
258
00:11:35,193 --> 00:11:36,978
Seriously?
259
00:11:37,021 --> 00:11:39,197
Hey, hey, look, it's
okay, little man.
260
00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:41,417
All right? Everything
is gonna be fine.
261
00:11:41,460 --> 00:11:42,984
It's not fine.
262
00:11:43,027 --> 00:11:44,376
It's awesome!
263
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:46,030
What? Oh! Finally, some realfun.
264
00:11:46,074 --> 00:11:48,163
Whoa! No!
265
00:11:49,164 --> 00:11:50,818
♪
266
00:11:52,167 --> 00:11:53,777
Calvin Butler.
267
00:11:53,821 --> 00:11:55,866
What is wrong with you?
268
00:11:55,910 --> 00:11:57,476
I would say nothing,
but I'm sure
269
00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:59,087
you're about
to tell me different.
270
00:12:00,305 --> 00:12:02,133
You're damn right I am.
271
00:12:02,177 --> 00:12:04,222
Dave just told mewhat happened.
272
00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:06,050
I cannot believe
after all of these years
273
00:12:06,094 --> 00:12:08,052
you're still fighting
over that stupid fence.
274
00:12:08,096 --> 00:12:11,229
Why does Walter care so much
about six inches?
275
00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:12,883
Well, why do you care so much?
276
00:12:12,927 --> 00:12:14,450
It's six inches.
277
00:12:16,017 --> 00:12:17,932
Is it about the money?
278
00:12:17,975 --> 00:12:20,412
I mean, it can't bethat
expensive to move a fence.
279
00:12:20,456 --> 00:12:22,416
No, it's not about that.
It's about the principle.
280
00:12:22,458 --> 00:12:24,199
And it's like
my father always said:
281
00:12:24,242 --> 00:12:27,028
"A man's fence is
a man's fence."
282
00:12:27,071 --> 00:12:29,595
When did your father say that?
283
00:12:29,639 --> 00:12:31,989
Whose side are you on, Tina?
284
00:12:32,033 --> 00:12:34,252
Is your pridemore important
285
00:12:34,296 --> 00:12:37,081
than the safety of the kids
in this neighborhood?
286
00:12:37,125 --> 00:12:40,084
Nah, babe. Don't try to make
this whole speed bump thing
287
00:12:40,128 --> 00:12:41,564
about safety.
288
00:12:44,219 --> 00:12:45,350
Okay...
289
00:12:45,394 --> 00:12:47,439
when Malcolm and
Marty were little,
290
00:12:47,483 --> 00:12:50,268
you did everything in your
power to keep them safe.
291
00:12:50,312 --> 00:12:52,488
You even used
to make Marty wear a helmet
292
00:12:52,531 --> 00:12:54,490
just to play hide-and-seek.
293
00:12:54,533 --> 00:12:57,188
I made him wear that thingall the time.
294
00:12:57,232 --> 00:12:59,538
The kid had no balance.
295
00:12:59,582 --> 00:13:01,323
Okay.
296
00:13:01,366 --> 00:13:03,847
When Malcolm said
that he was old enough
297
00:13:03,891 --> 00:13:06,545
to take his bike to the park,
you followed him in your car
298
00:13:06,589 --> 00:13:08,460
just to make sure
he got there safely.
299
00:13:08,504 --> 00:13:09,592
I had to.
300
00:13:09,635 --> 00:13:11,942
He was pulling Marty in a wagon.
301
00:13:11,986 --> 00:13:14,423
That boy fell out
every two blocks.
302
00:13:17,992 --> 00:13:19,210
Come on, babe.
303
00:13:19,254 --> 00:13:20,516
You love Grover.
304
00:13:21,647 --> 00:13:25,129
Doesn't he deserve to be
just as safe as our boys were?
305
00:13:26,174 --> 00:13:27,610
Yeah, I guess.
306
00:13:29,090 --> 00:13:31,135
That's my big papa bear.
307
00:13:31,179 --> 00:13:33,529
Taking careof all the little cubs.
308
00:13:35,096 --> 00:13:36,924
Yeah, you know me, huh?
309
00:13:36,967 --> 00:13:38,969
Always looking out for
the neighborhood kids.
310
00:13:39,013 --> 00:13:40,275
Mmm.
311
00:13:40,318 --> 00:13:41,624
Oh. You know what? What?
312
00:13:41,667 --> 00:13:43,278
That gives me an idea. What?
313
00:13:43,321 --> 00:13:46,107
I can underpay them
to move the fence.
314
00:13:46,150 --> 00:13:48,152
♪
315
00:13:49,937 --> 00:13:52,113
Yeah!
316
00:13:53,723 --> 00:13:56,073
Whoa, whoa, whoa! You have got
to cut that out, little man.
317
00:13:56,117 --> 00:13:57,988
You have got to stop.
318
00:13:58,032 --> 00:14:01,862
This rocking is not helpingthat
deep-fried pizza stay down.
319
00:14:03,124 --> 00:14:05,648
What? When did you eat that?
320
00:14:05,691 --> 00:14:08,172
When you guys were
in the bathroom.
321
00:14:09,217 --> 00:14:10,522
You two are no fun.
322
00:14:10,566 --> 00:14:12,524
You're just as bad as my mom.
323
00:14:12,568 --> 00:14:15,136
Hey, look, don't be
so hard on her, okay?
324
00:14:15,179 --> 00:14:17,007
She just wants to keep you safe.
325
00:14:17,051 --> 00:14:19,575
Why? I'm not a baby.
326
00:14:19,618 --> 00:14:21,316
Yeah, I know.
The only reason
327
00:14:21,359 --> 00:14:23,318
your mom is so overprotective
328
00:14:23,361 --> 00:14:25,973
is because of how much
she cares about you.
329
00:14:26,016 --> 00:14:28,192
Yeah, i-if you see a kid
having too much fun,
330
00:14:28,236 --> 00:14:30,238
that means
his mom doesn't love him.
331
00:14:31,630 --> 00:14:34,285
So, that kid
in front of the roller coaster
332
00:14:34,329 --> 00:14:36,592
with his hands up in the air...
333
00:14:36,635 --> 00:14:39,943
You mean the one eating that
corn dog with no shirt on?
334
00:14:39,987 --> 00:14:42,990
Yeah. His mama
don't even know he's here.
335
00:14:44,208 --> 00:14:46,297
Wow. That's sad.
336
00:14:46,341 --> 00:14:47,951
Exactly.
337
00:14:47,995 --> 00:14:50,954
So every time your mom
tells you, stop running,
338
00:14:50,998 --> 00:14:53,304
tie your shoes, or be careful,
339
00:14:53,348 --> 00:14:56,568
what she's really saying
is she loves you.
340
00:14:56,612 --> 00:14:59,093
I guess I'm pretty lucky.
341
00:14:59,136 --> 00:15:00,964
You sure are.
342
00:15:01,008 --> 00:15:03,967
Which means she's gonna
besuper mad when she finds out
343
00:15:04,011 --> 00:15:05,316
you got me stuck up here.
344
00:15:06,578 --> 00:15:08,537
Uh, no, she won't,
no, she won't.
345
00:15:08,580 --> 00:15:10,756
Because we're fine.
Right, Marty?
346
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,299
Yeah, yeah.
We-We're-we're totally safe.
347
00:15:12,323 --> 00:15:13,883
This kind of thing happens
all the time.
348
00:15:14,891 --> 00:15:17,111
Oh, thank you, Jesus!
Ah, we are gonna live!
349
00:15:19,243 --> 00:15:21,680
Thanks so much for
doing this, Calvin.
350
00:15:21,724 --> 00:15:23,595
Did Tina change your mind?
351
00:15:23,639 --> 00:15:26,424
No. I was alwaysgonna do it.
352
00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:28,470
I just needed to knowhow committed youwere.
353
00:15:29,775 --> 00:15:31,995
Well, you're doing
the right thing,
354
00:15:32,039 --> 00:15:34,041
and I, for one, appreciate it.
355
00:15:34,084 --> 00:15:36,086
Do youappreciate it enough
356
00:15:36,130 --> 00:15:38,480
to give me six incheson yourproperty?
357
00:15:38,523 --> 00:15:40,090
Sorry, Calvin.
358
00:15:40,134 --> 00:15:42,005
It's like my dad used to say:
359
00:15:42,049 --> 00:15:43,964
"A man's fence is
a man's fence."
360
00:15:47,402 --> 00:15:49,665
Damn. You're not Miss Kim.
361
00:15:51,319 --> 00:15:53,625
Look, Walter, I need
to talk to you.
362
00:15:53,669 --> 00:15:55,497
Oh, wha-what are you here
to steal now?
363
00:15:55,540 --> 00:15:57,151
My Wi-Fi password?
364
00:15:57,194 --> 00:15:58,500
I'll give youa hint.
365
00:15:58,543 --> 00:16:01,764
It's "Calvin"
and four other letters.
366
00:16:02,808 --> 00:16:04,506
Look, man,
367
00:16:04,549 --> 00:16:07,639
I just came over here to say
if you sign Dave's petition,
368
00:16:07,683 --> 00:16:09,598
I'll move the damn fence.
369
00:16:09,641 --> 00:16:12,340
Great. I was waiting
for you to die.
370
00:16:13,645 --> 00:16:16,039
Walter, I really appreciate it.
371
00:16:16,083 --> 00:16:20,000
Just sign right under where
Treywrote "Not joining Marines."
372
00:16:20,870 --> 00:16:22,524
Okay.
373
00:16:22,567 --> 00:16:24,656
But actually,
since it took you this long,
374
00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:27,137
maybe I should charge you
a little interest.
375
00:16:27,181 --> 00:16:29,661
How about we move that fence
a full foot?
376
00:16:29,705 --> 00:16:31,054
What?
377
00:16:31,098 --> 00:16:33,143
I got a full foot for you.
378
00:16:33,187 --> 00:16:34,686
You know... Oh, okay, all right, all right.
379
00:16:34,710 --> 00:16:36,059
Calvin, calm down.
380
00:16:36,103 --> 00:16:37,539
We need that speed bump.
Please.
381
00:16:38,801 --> 00:16:40,629
All right. But
this ain't for you.
382
00:16:40,672 --> 00:16:43,153
This is for the kids.
383
00:16:43,197 --> 00:16:45,199
Well, in that case,
let's move it two feet...
384
00:16:45,242 --> 00:16:47,505
One for me and one for the kids.
385
00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:50,204
Oh, to hell with you!
386
00:16:50,247 --> 00:16:52,771
You know what, I can't believeyou're
trying to pull this crap,
387
00:16:52,815 --> 00:16:55,209
after all the stuff I let you
slide with over the years.
388
00:16:55,252 --> 00:16:57,080
What have you let slide?
389
00:16:57,124 --> 00:16:58,299
Are you kidding me?
390
00:16:58,342 --> 00:17:01,215
Do you know how many
of your old roof tiles
391
00:17:01,258 --> 00:17:03,304
have flown over into my yard?
392
00:17:03,347 --> 00:17:06,089
And what about the
floodlights you put up?
393
00:17:06,133 --> 00:17:08,439
They're just shining bright
all night in my bedroom.
394
00:17:08,483 --> 00:17:11,181
Every time I get up
to go to the bathroom,
395
00:17:11,225 --> 00:17:13,053
it feels like a prison break.
396
00:17:15,185 --> 00:17:17,144
Not my problem.
397
00:17:17,187 --> 00:17:19,233
A-Actually, Walter, it is.
398
00:17:19,276 --> 00:17:21,191
According to the
Pasadena Zoning Manual,
399
00:17:21,235 --> 00:17:24,499
those are both residential
C-1 violations.
400
00:17:24,542 --> 00:17:25,587
So?
401
00:17:25,630 --> 00:17:27,328
So, if the city
inspector finds out,
402
00:17:27,371 --> 00:17:30,548
you're staring down the barrel
of some pretty hefty fines.
403
00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:31,723
He is?
404
00:17:31,767 --> 00:17:34,465
You are.
405
00:17:36,206 --> 00:17:39,340
Yeah, you know, and now that
I'mlooking around, there's no way
406
00:17:39,383 --> 00:17:41,733
that this half-saddle door
threshold is up to code.
407
00:17:41,777 --> 00:17:44,345
And don't even get me started
on the enclosed breezeway,
408
00:17:44,388 --> 00:17:48,131
which is clearly within fivefeet
of a multi-person dwelling.
409
00:17:50,264 --> 00:17:52,788
Do not get him started
on breezeways.
410
00:17:54,529 --> 00:17:57,140
Well, hold on, now, we don't
have to get into all of that.
411
00:17:57,184 --> 00:17:58,576
You're right, we don't.
412
00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:00,839
Because you're gonna
sign that petition,
413
00:18:00,883 --> 00:18:03,625
and we're gonna put up a speed
bump to protect these kids.
414
00:18:03,668 --> 00:18:05,453
Are we clear?
415
00:18:05,496 --> 00:18:07,411
Crystal, baby.
416
00:18:11,415 --> 00:18:13,417
Fine. You win.
417
00:18:15,941 --> 00:18:17,552
But that catfish
at your party sucked.
418
00:18:19,293 --> 00:18:21,121
Give me my pen.
419
00:18:23,384 --> 00:18:25,255
Damn, Dave, that was gangsta, man.
420
00:18:25,299 --> 00:18:28,258
Yeah, you want to hear
something even more gangsta?
421
00:18:28,302 --> 00:18:30,391
I just made all that stuff up.
422
00:18:30,434 --> 00:18:31,914
I don't even know
what a breezeway is.
423
00:18:38,834 --> 00:18:40,705
This is so great.
424
00:18:40,749 --> 00:18:43,317
That speed bump is really gonna
slow people down around here.
425
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:46,276
Yeah, and it's short enoughthat
I could just zip around it.
426
00:18:48,409 --> 00:18:50,628
Mom, does this mean
I can play outside again?
427
00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:52,761
Yes. But not near the street,
428
00:18:52,804 --> 00:18:56,199
not after dark,
and never without supervision.
429
00:18:56,243 --> 00:18:57,896
I love you, too.
430
00:18:59,942 --> 00:19:01,770
Can I go inside
and play on my iPad?
431
00:19:01,813 --> 00:19:03,511
Okay.
432
00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:07,167
What was I thinking?
He could get carpal tunnel.
433
00:19:10,344 --> 00:19:11,997
Look at that speed bump.
434
00:19:12,041 --> 00:19:13,651
Isn't she beautiful?
435
00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:16,872
Yeah. It reminds me of you.
436
00:19:16,915 --> 00:19:18,308
Mm.Black,
437
00:19:18,352 --> 00:19:19,701
curvy...
438
00:19:19,744 --> 00:19:22,356
and makes me want to slow
down and take my time.
439
00:19:22,399 --> 00:19:23,531
Oh...
440
00:19:25,272 --> 00:19:27,970
Oh, now I'm gonna feel guilty
every time I run over it.
441
00:19:29,232 --> 00:19:32,322
But, seriously, you did a
good thing for the community.
442
00:19:32,366 --> 00:19:34,237
You should be proud of yourself.
443
00:19:34,281 --> 00:19:36,326
Well, I'm glad
you feel that way.
444
00:19:36,370 --> 00:19:38,981
Because I've decided...
445
00:19:39,982 --> 00:19:41,636
I'm not stopping here.
446
00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:49,252
What do you think?
447
00:19:49,296 --> 00:19:50,732
You're running for city council?
448
00:19:50,775 --> 00:19:52,603
Yeah. You're kidding, right?
449
00:19:52,647 --> 00:19:54,257
Nope. You know,
getting this done
450
00:19:54,301 --> 00:19:55,998
really woke up
my sense of civic duty.
451
00:19:56,041 --> 00:19:58,783
Plus, I've always wanted
to seemy face on a button.
452
00:20:00,437 --> 00:20:02,396
So, if you win,
453
00:20:02,439 --> 00:20:05,312
won't that mean you'll be super
busy doing government stuff
454
00:20:05,355 --> 00:20:09,272
and won't have the time to
hang around here as much?
455
00:20:09,316 --> 00:20:10,621
I'm afraid so.
456
00:20:10,665 --> 00:20:12,667
Hmm.
Well, in
that case,
457
00:20:12,710 --> 00:20:13,972
you got myvote.
458
00:20:14,016 --> 00:20:16,975
Captioning sponsored by CBS
459
00:20:17,019 --> 00:20:19,139
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org