1
00:00:03,181 --> 00:00:06,581
Let me guess, you're either
hiding from our neighbor Dave,
2
00:00:06,651 --> 00:00:08,921
or the Jehovah's Witnesses are back.
3
00:00:09,091 --> 00:00:11,121
Look, I just want to get my newspaper,
4
00:00:11,191 --> 00:00:12,941
but every time I go outside,
5
00:00:12,991 --> 00:00:15,821
the guy just sneaks up on
me all quiet like a Prius.
6
00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:17,161
[LAUGHS]
7
00:00:17,231 --> 00:00:18,531
You know, the other day,
8
00:00:18,541 --> 00:00:20,231
he cornered me talking about Michigan.
9
00:00:20,301 --> 00:00:24,031
I spent 30 minutes listening
to him rank the Great Lakes.
10
00:00:24,101 --> 00:00:26,931
[LAUGHS] Yup, he did
the same thing to me,
11
00:00:27,001 --> 00:00:29,871
and, ironically, Lake
Superior not number one.
12
00:00:31,511 --> 00:00:33,471
What kind of world do we live in
13
00:00:33,541 --> 00:00:35,941
where a man can't go
outside his own home
14
00:00:36,011 --> 00:00:38,181
without having to say
hello to his neighbor?
15
00:00:39,171 --> 00:00:40,461
What are you doing?
16
00:00:40,501 --> 00:00:41,871
He's hiding from Dave.
17
00:00:41,941 --> 00:00:43,861
Why? The only thing scary about him
18
00:00:43,871 --> 00:00:45,771
are the tiny shorts he jogs in.
19
00:00:45,841 --> 00:00:47,341
Tell me about it.
20
00:00:47,411 --> 00:00:49,211
The last time I saw that much white meat
21
00:00:49,231 --> 00:00:50,741
it was fried and in a bucket.
22
00:00:50,811 --> 00:00:52,781
[LAUGHTER]
23
00:00:52,851 --> 00:00:55,251
Well, I know he's not like
most folks around here,
24
00:00:55,321 --> 00:00:57,181
but I think Dave is kind of cool.
25
00:00:57,251 --> 00:00:59,451
All I know is, since they
moved into this neighborhood,
26
00:00:59,521 --> 00:01:01,751
I feel like I'm on house arrest.
27
00:01:01,821 --> 00:01:04,921
Well, I say don't you let fear
of Dave imprison you, Pop.
28
00:01:04,991 --> 00:01:06,691
Throw off the chains of your oppressor
29
00:01:06,761 --> 00:01:08,431
and go get that newspaper, my brother!
30
00:01:11,801 --> 00:01:13,561
But before you do, close your robe.
31
00:01:13,631 --> 00:01:14,871
I can see your chicken nuggets.
32
00:01:14,901 --> 00:01:16,101
Hey.
33
00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:22,571
Dad, what are you doing?
34
00:01:22,641 --> 00:01:25,241
I'm seeing if Calvin's outside.
I want to give him something.
35
00:01:25,311 --> 00:01:27,611
I was talking about your shorts.
36
00:01:29,651 --> 00:01:31,821
Well, this is what people
wear in California.
37
00:01:31,831 --> 00:01:34,051
It's so you don't overheat
when you're running.
38
00:01:34,121 --> 00:01:36,721
That's smart, 'cause if
I wore those to school
39
00:01:36,791 --> 00:01:38,661
I'd definitely get chased.
40
00:01:39,521 --> 00:01:42,731
Yeah, by all the ladies.
41
00:01:42,801 --> 00:01:44,531
Ready for school, Grover?
42
00:01:44,541 --> 00:01:46,901
Whoa, look at those sexy legs.
43
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,741
- Told you.
- Why are you still here?
44
00:01:50,751 --> 00:01:51,801
I thought you were going for a run.
45
00:01:51,821 --> 00:01:53,771
Oh, I'm about to. I was hoping
to catch Calvin outside.
46
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:55,181
I want to give him a key to our house.
47
00:01:55,211 --> 00:01:56,481
- Really?
- Yeah.
48
00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:58,121
Don't you think it's a
little too soon for that?
49
00:01:58,141 --> 00:02:00,221
Uh, well, no, he's our neighbor.
50
00:02:00,261 --> 00:02:02,061
We gave all our neighbors
keys back in Michigan.
51
00:02:02,081 --> 00:02:04,451
Grammy says people in Michigan are good,
52
00:02:04,521 --> 00:02:06,761
not like here where
they're all criminals
53
00:02:06,781 --> 00:02:08,201
and Hollywood elites.
54
00:02:10,061 --> 00:02:11,291
When did Grammy say that?
55
00:02:11,361 --> 00:02:13,661
Just now. We're texting.
56
00:02:13,731 --> 00:02:15,991
Oh, hey, guys, there's Calvin.
57
00:02:16,061 --> 00:02:18,221
Buddy, have a great day. Bye.
58
00:02:19,271 --> 00:02:22,501
Mom, what do you think of Dad's shorts?
59
00:02:22,571 --> 00:02:24,541
Honestly, I thought they were yours.
60
00:02:27,641 --> 00:02:30,641
- Hey, Calvin!
- Oh.
61
00:02:30,711 --> 00:02:31,911
Hey, Dave.
62
00:02:31,981 --> 00:02:33,241
Hey, I'm glad I ran into you.
63
00:02:33,301 --> 00:02:34,321
I want to give you something.
64
00:02:34,351 --> 00:02:35,351
Really?
65
00:02:35,361 --> 00:02:37,621
There's enough fabric
in those for pockets?
66
00:02:38,601 --> 00:02:39,821
Here you go.
67
00:02:39,891 --> 00:02:40,991
What's that?
68
00:02:41,021 --> 00:02:42,021
Well, it's a key to our house.
69
00:02:42,041 --> 00:02:43,651
I want you to have it.
70
00:02:43,721 --> 00:02:45,341
I now pronounce us neighbors.
71
00:02:46,861 --> 00:02:48,391
Nah, I'm good, man.
72
00:02:48,461 --> 00:02:49,531
[CHUCKLES]
73
00:02:49,601 --> 00:02:51,331
Wh-What do you mean you're good?
74
00:02:51,401 --> 00:02:53,011
I don't need a key to your house.
75
00:02:53,021 --> 00:02:54,061
What if there's an emergency,
76
00:02:54,071 --> 00:02:55,701
or you want to borrow
something and we're not home,
77
00:02:55,721 --> 00:02:57,161
or it's my birthday and
you want to throw me
78
00:02:57,191 --> 00:02:58,741
a surprise birthday party.
79
00:02:58,811 --> 00:03:01,741
I'm not throwing you a surprise party.
80
00:03:01,811 --> 00:03:03,451
Exactly what someone throwing me
81
00:03:03,461 --> 00:03:04,911
a surprise party would say.
82
00:03:06,481 --> 00:03:09,041
Look, Dave, I don't know what
it's like where you're from...
83
00:03:09,061 --> 00:03:10,211
Oh, it is beautiful.
84
00:03:10,281 --> 00:03:12,241
I mean, the trees,
85
00:03:12,261 --> 00:03:14,051
they go on for miles.
86
00:03:14,121 --> 00:03:16,891
Okay, look, that's-that's
not what I'm talking about.
87
00:03:16,961 --> 00:03:20,561
Around here, we don't give out
keys to people we just met.
88
00:03:20,631 --> 00:03:21,741
Well, how come?
89
00:03:21,821 --> 00:03:24,461
Simple, people are terrible.
90
00:03:25,671 --> 00:03:26,781
No, they're not, people are great.
91
00:03:26,791 --> 00:03:28,441
You should try giving them
the benefit of the doubt.
92
00:03:28,471 --> 00:03:30,401
I do. I doubt them every day.
93
00:03:31,441 --> 00:03:34,211
Okay, look, just take the key, okay?
94
00:03:34,271 --> 00:03:35,871
O-Okay, if I take this key,
95
00:03:35,881 --> 00:03:37,801
can I go read my paper in peace?
96
00:03:37,811 --> 00:03:38,941
Absolutely.
97
00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:40,081
Oh, fine.
98
00:03:40,151 --> 00:03:42,851
All right, talk to you later. See you.
99
00:03:42,921 --> 00:03:44,681
Oh, and just one more thing, um...
100
00:03:44,751 --> 00:03:47,181
Dave, we had a deal.
101
00:03:47,251 --> 00:03:49,191
I was just wondering,
102
00:03:49,261 --> 00:03:51,861
is there anything maybe that
you want to give to me?
103
00:03:51,921 --> 00:03:54,091
Yes, some advice.
104
00:03:54,161 --> 00:03:55,641
Stop jogging through the neighborhood
105
00:03:55,701 --> 00:03:57,641
in your hot pants.
106
00:03:58,461 --> 00:04:00,741
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
107
00:04:00,761 --> 00:04:02,701
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
108
00:04:04,081 --> 00:04:06,441
I thought you guys were
going to the park.
109
00:04:06,491 --> 00:04:07,591
It's kind of hot out,
110
00:04:07,661 --> 00:04:09,761
so we thought we'd just
hang out here instead.
111
00:04:09,831 --> 00:04:11,561
Dad says he doesn't want to go outside
112
00:04:11,591 --> 00:04:13,771
because Mr. Calvin
didn't give him a key.
113
00:04:16,321 --> 00:04:20,721
Grover, it's called
father/son confidentiality.
114
00:04:20,791 --> 00:04:22,591
Are you still hung up on this key thing?
115
00:04:22,661 --> 00:04:24,861
It's awkward now.
116
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,101
Like when you wave to someone
117
00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:29,301
who you thought was waving
to you, but they weren't.
118
00:04:29,371 --> 00:04:32,801
I told you to stop waving at everyone.
119
00:04:33,601 --> 00:04:36,271
I'm a waver, Gemma.
120
00:04:36,341 --> 00:04:38,341
It's what I do.
121
00:04:38,401 --> 00:04:40,281
You know I love how
enthusiastic you are,
122
00:04:40,341 --> 00:04:42,441
but sometimes it can get
a little out of hand.
123
00:04:42,511 --> 00:04:44,111
Name one time.
124
00:04:44,181 --> 00:04:46,321
You proposed to me on our third date.
125
00:04:47,641 --> 00:04:49,791
Yeah. That is because...
126
00:04:50,721 --> 00:04:52,151
we had just had sex.
127
00:04:54,231 --> 00:04:56,151
I'm just saying sometimes
you're ready for things
128
00:04:56,191 --> 00:04:57,591
before other people are.
129
00:04:57,611 --> 00:04:59,061
It might take a while for Calvin.
130
00:04:59,071 --> 00:05:02,461
Yeah, but it's been a
month, and by that time...
131
00:05:03,531 --> 00:05:05,471
... we had had a bunch of sex.
132
00:05:05,541 --> 00:05:07,091
Come on, baby, I'll take you,
133
00:05:07,101 --> 00:05:08,601
and if you want to connect to Calvin,
134
00:05:08,611 --> 00:05:09,651
maybe you should try finding something
135
00:05:09,661 --> 00:05:10,841
you guys have in common.
136
00:05:10,861 --> 00:05:13,641
I'll try, but this guy doesn't
even have a favorite lake.
137
00:05:15,351 --> 00:05:17,951
- What up! What up!
- Oh, hey, baby.
138
00:05:18,021 --> 00:05:20,081
Well, I see you brought
your laundry again.
139
00:05:20,101 --> 00:05:22,851
That's right, colors and a few whites,
140
00:05:22,921 --> 00:05:25,491
just like this neighborhood
since the Johnsons moved in.
141
00:05:26,821 --> 00:05:29,431
Well, here, let me take those for you.
142
00:05:29,491 --> 00:05:31,271
Ma, how come you still
do Marty's laundry,
143
00:05:31,301 --> 00:05:32,531
but you won't do mine?
144
00:05:32,601 --> 00:05:34,031
It's because he doesn't live here.
145
00:05:34,041 --> 00:05:36,101
It's how I make sure I see my baby boy.
146
00:05:36,171 --> 00:05:38,131
Yeah, if she wants to see you,
147
00:05:38,181 --> 00:05:39,871
all she has to do is check the couch.
148
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,111
Baby, leave him alone.
He's looking for a job.
149
00:05:44,181 --> 00:05:47,011
What job? Manager of throw pillows?
150
00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:48,661
[LAUGHING]
151
00:05:48,741 --> 00:05:51,981
Yeah, that sounds like a cushy job.
152
00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:54,121
Oh, and by the way,
153
00:05:54,191 --> 00:05:56,451
this fell out of your
pocket in the wash.
154
00:05:56,521 --> 00:05:58,321
- [GROANS]
- What's wrong?
155
00:05:58,391 --> 00:06:00,391
It's a key to Dave's house.
156
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,931
He gave it to me in
case of an emergency.
157
00:06:02,991 --> 00:06:05,831
Like I'm gonna help him in an emergency.
158
00:06:06,781 --> 00:06:08,361
I think that's nice.
159
00:06:08,391 --> 00:06:10,231
We could all learn a lesson from Dave,
160
00:06:10,301 --> 00:06:12,471
how to open our hearts
to our neighbors, right?
161
00:06:12,541 --> 00:06:14,401
That guy can't teach me anything.
162
00:06:14,471 --> 00:06:16,131
Well, you know, I'm glad he moved in.
163
00:06:16,141 --> 00:06:18,411
Giving out keys, waving at everybody.
164
00:06:18,481 --> 00:06:20,551
He is the most entertaining
thing to happen around here
165
00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,311
since Crackhead Victor found that horse.
166
00:06:22,381 --> 00:06:25,311
Remember when he tried to footrace him?
167
00:06:25,381 --> 00:06:28,321
[LAUGHTER]
168
00:06:28,391 --> 00:06:29,991
Ay, well, you might not like it, Pop,
169
00:06:30,001 --> 00:06:31,391
but, uh, Dave lives here now.
170
00:06:31,461 --> 00:06:33,191
That makes him part of our community.
171
00:06:33,261 --> 00:06:34,721
No, no, it doesn't.
172
00:06:34,791 --> 00:06:36,491
You don't let someone
into your community
173
00:06:36,511 --> 00:06:38,531
just because they give you a spare key.
174
00:06:38,601 --> 00:06:40,401
Come on now, let's go
work on this truck.
175
00:06:40,421 --> 00:06:41,511
Aw, come on, Pop.
176
00:06:41,521 --> 00:06:43,701
That truck is always
broke, and it never works.
177
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:46,131
Then you two got something
in common. Come on now.
178
00:06:49,141 --> 00:06:50,441
Hey, guys.
179
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,081
What year is that, a '64?
180
00:06:53,141 --> 00:06:55,541
Close, '65.
181
00:06:55,611 --> 00:06:57,711
Oof, should've known.
182
00:06:57,781 --> 00:07:00,561
'64 didn't have turn signals
above the headlights.
183
00:07:00,701 --> 00:07:03,621
Oh, you sound like you know a
thing or two about trucks, Dave.
184
00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:05,421
Well, you know, I am from Michigan.
185
00:07:05,581 --> 00:07:08,591
Detroit, the Motor City,
186
00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:10,661
The D.
187
00:07:12,261 --> 00:07:14,261
Dave from The D!
188
00:07:19,001 --> 00:07:20,641
See you guys got a V-8 in there
189
00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:21,721
instead of the straight six.
190
00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:23,471
That's like 50 more horses, huh?
191
00:07:23,541 --> 00:07:25,411
Yes, it is.
192
00:07:25,481 --> 00:07:27,381
So I guess you do know your stuff.
193
00:07:27,441 --> 00:07:30,781
Yeah, like I said, Dave from the D.
194
00:07:32,051 --> 00:07:34,561
Dad, I want to use the iPad.
195
00:07:34,661 --> 00:07:37,051
Are you done googling
Mr. Calvin's truck?
196
00:07:41,331 --> 00:07:43,331
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, man.
197
00:07:44,561 --> 00:07:46,501
What is wrong with you?
198
00:07:46,561 --> 00:07:48,901
Googling another man's truck?
199
00:07:48,971 --> 00:07:51,271
Bruh.
200
00:07:51,341 --> 00:07:54,171
I was just trying to find
some common ground with you.
201
00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:56,611
[SCOFFS] What, by lying to us
that you know about trucks?
202
00:07:56,671 --> 00:07:58,911
- Yeah.
- Yeah, but in a neighborly way.
203
00:07:58,981 --> 00:08:00,481
Wh-What's going on here, man?
204
00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:04,851
Uh, look, I know I don't
always show my emotions.
205
00:08:07,381 --> 00:08:10,651
But the other day when I gave you a key
206
00:08:10,721 --> 00:08:13,461
and you didn't give me one
back, it bothered me.
207
00:08:13,521 --> 00:08:15,781
Bruh.
208
00:08:16,161 --> 00:08:17,811
You know what? You want a key?
209
00:08:17,821 --> 00:08:19,151
You know what? Fine.
210
00:08:19,161 --> 00:08:20,701
Here. Here's a damn key.
211
00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:23,501
Are you sure? I don't want to impose.
212
00:08:25,521 --> 00:08:26,901
Okay.
213
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,441
I can't believe you like that guy.
214
00:08:33,511 --> 00:08:35,481
I can't believe you gave him a key.
215
00:08:35,551 --> 00:08:37,241
I gave him a key.
216
00:08:37,341 --> 00:08:39,181
I didn't give him the key.
217
00:08:39,251 --> 00:08:41,681
Okay, then what was that one to?
218
00:08:41,751 --> 00:08:43,001
Oh, that was to your Uncle Clyde's
219
00:08:43,011 --> 00:08:44,721
storage locker in West Covina.
220
00:08:45,921 --> 00:08:48,221
Yeah, if ever he needs 35 broken TVs
221
00:08:48,291 --> 00:08:50,891
or a box of autographed
Hammer pants, he all set.
222
00:08:57,461 --> 00:08:59,241
- [WHISTLING]
- [DOOR CLOSES]
223
00:08:59,311 --> 00:09:03,611
Ooh, look at you looking
all fresh and sexy.
224
00:09:03,681 --> 00:09:05,531
Girl, you treating me
like a piece of meat.
225
00:09:05,541 --> 00:09:06,551
[LAUGHS]
226
00:09:06,581 --> 00:09:08,041
And I like it.
227
00:09:10,321 --> 00:09:11,881
Mmm.
228
00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:13,891
What's got you all riled up?
229
00:09:13,951 --> 00:09:17,241
Well, Gemma told me about
how you gave Dave the key,
230
00:09:17,281 --> 00:09:19,041
and it got me to thinking what a big,
231
00:09:19,081 --> 00:09:20,771
generous man I married,
232
00:09:20,801 --> 00:09:23,781
and I guess it put me in
a generous mood, too.
233
00:09:23,801 --> 00:09:26,101
- [LAUGHING]
- Yeah, you know, baby,
234
00:09:26,121 --> 00:09:27,131
a-about the key...
235
00:09:27,201 --> 00:09:28,851
- you know, I-I was...
- No, no, listen, baby. Shh.
236
00:09:28,881 --> 00:09:30,701
Don't be embarrassed, okay?
237
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,361
I love it when you're not afraid
238
00:09:32,391 --> 00:09:35,661
to let people see past that
rough and tough exterior.
239
00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:38,931
Makes me know that you are still
that big, soft teddy bear
240
00:09:38,941 --> 00:09:41,711
that I married and I'm in love with.
241
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:43,081
[BOTH LAUGH]
242
00:09:43,121 --> 00:09:46,341
- Yeah?
- Yeah. [LAUGHS]
243
00:09:46,421 --> 00:09:48,991
And you know what bears like?
244
00:09:49,001 --> 00:09:50,381
Honey.
245
00:09:50,391 --> 00:09:54,261
[BOTH LAUGHING]
246
00:09:55,201 --> 00:09:56,661
That taste good, too.
247
00:09:56,731 --> 00:09:58,181
- Uh-huh.
- [LAUGHING]
248
00:09:58,261 --> 00:09:59,901
I made the boys go to the movies,
249
00:09:59,961 --> 00:10:03,701
so I will be waiting
for you in the cave.
250
00:10:07,371 --> 00:10:09,371
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
251
00:10:11,061 --> 00:10:13,161
Man, I know that key was fake,
252
00:10:13,281 --> 00:10:15,251
but Lord, this about to get real.
253
00:10:18,181 --> 00:10:20,571
♪ Today is a good day ♪
254
00:10:20,581 --> 00:10:21,641
[LAUGHS]
255
00:10:21,651 --> 00:10:23,621
♪ Nah, nah-nah, nah,
nah, nah, nah, nah... ♪
256
00:10:23,641 --> 00:10:25,761
My, this smells good up in here.
257
00:10:25,781 --> 00:10:28,241
Ah. I'm making banana pancakes.
258
00:10:28,281 --> 00:10:29,621
I'll fix you a plate. Sit down.
259
00:10:29,661 --> 00:10:32,321
All right. Ma, what's got
you in such a good mood?
260
00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:34,011
Well, let's just say while
you and your brother
261
00:10:34,021 --> 00:10:35,331
were out last night,
262
00:10:35,341 --> 00:10:38,501
your father and I had a...
sensual evening.
263
00:10:40,241 --> 00:10:42,281
And there goes my appetite.
264
00:10:42,321 --> 00:10:46,421
♪ Today is a good day,
today is a good day ♪
265
00:10:46,441 --> 00:10:48,191
♪ Nah, nah-nah, nah, nah, nah, nah... ♪
266
00:10:48,221 --> 00:10:50,641
- ♪ Yeah, baby. ♪
- How you doing, baby?
267
00:10:50,681 --> 00:10:51,781
- Mwah.
- [BOTH LAUGH]
268
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:53,671
I would ask for some more honey,
269
00:10:53,681 --> 00:10:54,911
but I believe we fresh out.
270
00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:56,251
Ooh. [LAUGHS]
271
00:10:56,321 --> 00:10:57,921
Hey, man.
272
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,461
That was family honey.
273
00:10:59,531 --> 00:11:02,151
You want me to make you a plate, babe?
274
00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:03,631
Yeah. You know, I'll be right back.
275
00:11:03,701 --> 00:11:05,251
- I'm-a go get my paper.
- Oh, guess what.
276
00:11:05,261 --> 00:11:07,131
- Mm-hmm.
- I'll keep it warm for you.
277
00:11:07,201 --> 00:11:08,901
[LAUGHS] You always do.
278
00:11:08,921 --> 00:11:10,071
[LAUGHS]
279
00:11:10,141 --> 00:11:11,941
Enjoy your pancakes, son.
280
00:11:13,471 --> 00:11:15,971
Your father's a good man.
281
00:11:16,041 --> 00:11:17,981
Yeah? And why do you say that?
282
00:11:18,041 --> 00:11:19,941
Well, he's finally starting
283
00:11:19,961 --> 00:11:22,561
to open up to Dave, just
like I told him to do.
284
00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:24,611
Yeah, opened up by
giving him a fake key.
285
00:11:24,621 --> 00:11:26,331
A fake key? Now what now?
286
00:11:27,841 --> 00:11:30,511
You know, look, Dave
wouldn't let it go, Ma,
287
00:11:30,521 --> 00:11:32,811
so Dad just gave him a
fake key to shut him up.
288
00:11:32,881 --> 00:11:35,841
[SIGHS] So he didn't listen to me?
289
00:11:35,911 --> 00:11:37,481
He doesn't listen to anyone.
290
00:11:37,551 --> 00:11:40,141
And to think I spent all morning
291
00:11:40,181 --> 00:11:41,781
getting honey out of my sheets!
292
00:11:45,921 --> 00:11:48,791
- Ah. Yeah.
- [DOOR RATTLING]
293
00:11:48,821 --> 00:11:50,021
What?
294
00:11:50,041 --> 00:11:51,361
Hey, baby. Tina?
295
00:11:51,431 --> 00:11:53,251
The door locked accidentally.
296
00:11:53,261 --> 00:11:54,901
[DOOR RATTLING]
297
00:11:58,301 --> 00:12:01,041
You thought you was slick.
298
00:12:01,101 --> 00:12:03,841
Lying to me about giving Dave the key?
299
00:12:03,911 --> 00:12:06,011
- Babe, let me explain.
- Oh. You're gonna explain.
300
00:12:06,021 --> 00:12:07,271
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay. Wait. What you... ?
301
00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:08,381
Who you calling?
302
00:12:08,441 --> 00:12:09,911
Hey, Dave!
303
00:12:09,981 --> 00:12:11,911
Yeah.
304
00:12:11,921 --> 00:12:14,191
Can you do me a favor? I'm at the store,
305
00:12:14,221 --> 00:12:17,181
and apparently, Calvin
locked himself outside.
306
00:12:17,251 --> 00:12:19,651
Uh-huh. [LAUGHS] Big dummy.
307
00:12:19,721 --> 00:12:21,921
Tina, come on. Baby, I'm your husband.
308
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,991
We were sensual last night.
309
00:12:24,061 --> 00:12:26,431
Oh, you will? Oh.
310
00:12:26,501 --> 00:12:27,831
Thanks so much, Dave.
311
00:12:27,841 --> 00:12:29,761
You're the best. [LAUGHS]
312
00:12:29,771 --> 00:12:31,401
And you ain't.
313
00:12:33,471 --> 00:12:34,841
Hey, Malcolm?
314
00:12:34,901 --> 00:12:36,821
Hey, Malcolm! Malcolm, come on, man.
315
00:12:36,841 --> 00:12:38,741
Your mama trippin'. Come
and unlock the door!
316
00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:42,281
I can't help you, bruh.
317
00:12:46,521 --> 00:12:48,081
[DOOR CLOSES]
318
00:12:48,151 --> 00:12:50,951
Hey, Calvin, I just got off with Tina.
319
00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:53,891
Got your keys right here.
320
00:12:53,921 --> 00:12:56,691
Malcolm! Malcolm, come on,
open the door, please.
321
00:12:56,761 --> 00:12:59,031
I love you, son.
322
00:12:59,921 --> 00:13:02,361
- I told you you wouldn't regret this.
- [LAUGHS]
323
00:13:02,431 --> 00:13:04,061
All right, let me open her up for you.
324
00:13:04,121 --> 00:13:05,591
All right.
325
00:13:05,601 --> 00:13:07,231
- Okay.
- Yeah.
326
00:13:07,301 --> 00:13:08,641
[LAUGHS]
327
00:13:08,711 --> 00:13:10,241
Here we go.
328
00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:12,671
There we go.
329
00:13:12,741 --> 00:13:14,441
Why are you blocking the door?
330
00:13:14,511 --> 00:13:16,811
- I'm not blocking the door.
- Okay.
331
00:13:16,881 --> 00:13:19,151
[LAUGHS, MUMBLES]
332
00:13:19,221 --> 00:13:22,281
Gotta change these out.
333
00:13:22,351 --> 00:13:23,951
This isn't a key to your house, is it?
334
00:13:24,021 --> 00:13:25,921
- Of course it is.
- You sure?
335
00:13:25,991 --> 00:13:27,211
Sure I'm sure.
336
00:13:27,221 --> 00:13:28,641
So if I put this key
337
00:13:28,731 --> 00:13:30,461
in that lock, that door'll open?
338
00:13:31,441 --> 00:13:33,161
It will not.
339
00:13:34,401 --> 00:13:36,501
- Unbelievable!
- Look,
340
00:13:36,571 --> 00:13:38,761
Dave, no. Let me explain
it to you, Dave.
341
00:13:38,771 --> 00:13:40,401
Don't be like that. Dave!
342
00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:42,471
Dave from the D!
343
00:13:43,911 --> 00:13:45,471
What are you making?
344
00:13:45,541 --> 00:13:46,971
Mac and cheese.
345
00:13:47,041 --> 00:13:48,441
I needed some comfort food.
346
00:13:48,941 --> 00:13:50,341
Why is it brown?
347
00:13:50,411 --> 00:13:52,681
All we had was chocolate milk.
348
00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:57,691
Sweetie, you got to get
over this Calvin thing.
349
00:13:57,751 --> 00:13:58,911
But we're neighbors.
350
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,001
We should be friends.
351
00:14:00,121 --> 00:14:02,041
I know you're upset, but you do realize
352
00:14:02,061 --> 00:14:03,521
this is kind of your fault.
353
00:14:03,591 --> 00:14:04,661
How?
354
00:14:04,731 --> 00:14:06,361
Come on, admit it.
355
00:14:06,431 --> 00:14:08,151
The real reason you gave Calvin a key
356
00:14:08,161 --> 00:14:10,011
is because you were
hoping he'd give you one.
357
00:14:10,021 --> 00:14:11,351
Like when you give me a back rub
358
00:14:11,361 --> 00:14:12,761
because you want one, too.
359
00:14:12,771 --> 00:14:15,041
Oh, that's not true. I
don't even like back rubs.
360
00:14:15,101 --> 00:14:16,941
I do it because I want to have sex.
361
00:14:18,661 --> 00:14:20,921
Exactly. You're not giving
it because you want to,
362
00:14:20,941 --> 00:14:23,141
you're giving it because you
want something in return.
363
00:14:23,211 --> 00:14:25,221
In fact, sometimes I
think the only reason
364
00:14:25,261 --> 00:14:26,881
you wave at everybody is because
365
00:14:26,951 --> 00:14:28,551
you want them to wave at you.
366
00:14:29,261 --> 00:14:30,621
How dare you?
367
00:14:30,691 --> 00:14:33,351
Just saying, maybe you
should think about it
368
00:14:33,421 --> 00:14:36,791
while you wallow in your
disgusting pity pasta.
369
00:14:39,941 --> 00:14:41,131
What are you doing here?
370
00:14:41,201 --> 00:14:42,861
I got to get my laundry back.
371
00:14:42,901 --> 00:14:44,241
Man, I'm down to my swimming trunks.
372
00:14:44,271 --> 00:14:46,241
Hey.
373
00:14:46,301 --> 00:14:47,781
Yeah, well, I don't think
you want to be here.
374
00:14:47,801 --> 00:14:49,241
Moms is still not talking to Pops,
375
00:14:49,311 --> 00:14:51,071
and he's blaming me for ratting him out.
376
00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:52,541
Okay, well, in that case,
377
00:14:52,571 --> 00:14:54,241
I'm just gonna turn these inside out.
378
00:14:54,311 --> 00:14:57,141
Well, well, well.
379
00:14:57,211 --> 00:14:58,881
If it ain't the dynamic duo:
380
00:14:58,951 --> 00:15:01,621
Laundry Boy and the Snitch.
381
00:15:03,121 --> 00:15:04,521
You know, I got a job.
382
00:15:04,591 --> 00:15:06,051
I could just buy some new underwear.
383
00:15:06,121 --> 00:15:08,121
Hey, Marty.
384
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:10,561
Mommy was just about
to fold your laundry.
385
00:15:10,621 --> 00:15:12,561
- Hmm.
- Oh, yeah, and here's yours.
386
00:15:12,631 --> 00:15:14,331
Oh. Thanks. Okay.
387
00:15:14,401 --> 00:15:16,101
All right. All right, Tina.
388
00:15:16,171 --> 00:15:19,921
Babe, I already apologized for
not being straight with you.
389
00:15:19,941 --> 00:15:21,501
I mean, what else do you want?
390
00:15:21,571 --> 00:15:24,911
I want you to apologize
to Dave for lying to him.
391
00:15:24,971 --> 00:15:27,111
But it was one little white lie.
392
00:15:27,181 --> 00:15:29,241
Yeah, to one little white guy.
393
00:15:29,311 --> 00:15:31,251
[BOTH LAUGH]
394
00:15:31,311 --> 00:15:34,951
Besides, I don't owe him an apology.
395
00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:37,551
All I wanted to do was work on my truck
396
00:15:37,621 --> 00:15:38,881
and live my life.
397
00:15:38,901 --> 00:15:40,321
But he wouldn't let it go.
398
00:15:40,391 --> 00:15:41,791
Oh, yeah, Pops, you're right.
399
00:15:41,861 --> 00:15:43,121
You the real victim here.
400
00:15:43,191 --> 00:15:45,191
- See?
- I was being sarcastic.
401
00:15:45,261 --> 00:15:47,031
I know, but it was working, right?
402
00:15:48,141 --> 00:15:51,131
Listen, I know Dave can
be a little extra,
403
00:15:51,141 --> 00:15:53,901
but he's our neighbor, and you
are a better man than that.
404
00:15:53,971 --> 00:15:55,341
- Is he?
- Not really.
405
00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:59,141
Yes, he is.
406
00:15:59,211 --> 00:16:01,211
Who built the manger for
our Christmas pageant?
407
00:16:01,281 --> 00:16:04,481
Who fixed Old Mrs. Kim's
transmission for free?
408
00:16:04,551 --> 00:16:06,081
And who held a fundraiser
409
00:16:06,091 --> 00:16:08,451
to fix all the basketball
courts in the park?
410
00:16:08,521 --> 00:16:10,781
Okay. Nice try, Tina.
411
00:16:10,851 --> 00:16:12,721
See, I see what you're doing right here.
412
00:16:12,791 --> 00:16:13,871
You're doing that thing
413
00:16:13,881 --> 00:16:15,681
where you try to make me feel bad
414
00:16:15,691 --> 00:16:17,321
for being such a good person.
415
00:16:17,381 --> 00:16:19,341
- It's working, isn't it?
- Damn right it is.
416
00:16:19,361 --> 00:16:20,961
Ugh.
417
00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:27,501
Hey, Gemma.
418
00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:28,771
Hey, Calvin.
419
00:16:28,841 --> 00:16:30,141
Is Dave here?
420
00:16:30,211 --> 00:16:31,711
Hold on, let me check.
421
00:16:35,101 --> 00:16:37,411
- He says he's not here.
- Okay.
422
00:16:37,481 --> 00:16:38,881
Dave, come on, man.
423
00:16:43,191 --> 00:16:45,991
Calvin.
424
00:16:46,061 --> 00:16:49,011
Look, I shouldn't have
done you wrong like that,
425
00:16:49,021 --> 00:16:52,491
so I brought you a real key.
426
00:16:52,561 --> 00:16:54,091
No, I don't want it anymore.
427
00:16:55,841 --> 00:16:57,261
Come on, man, take the key.
428
00:16:57,331 --> 00:16:58,341
I told you I don't want it.
429
00:16:58,361 --> 00:17:00,011
Come on, man, take the key.
430
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:01,061
- No.
- Dave, take it.
431
00:17:01,071 --> 00:17:02,771
- No, thank you.
- You know what?
432
00:17:10,951 --> 00:17:13,981
You really trying to outrun me, Calvin?
433
00:17:14,051 --> 00:17:16,521
Yeah.
434
00:17:16,591 --> 00:17:18,721
You're lucky I didn't stretch.
435
00:17:20,421 --> 00:17:22,361
Okay, look, I realize now
436
00:17:22,371 --> 00:17:24,231
that I gave you this key
for the wrong reason.
437
00:17:24,291 --> 00:17:25,961
I was trying to force
you to be my friend.
438
00:17:26,031 --> 00:17:27,831
Clearly, you're not interested.
439
00:17:27,901 --> 00:17:31,001
[SIGHS] You know, Dave,
you seem like a nice guy.
440
00:17:31,071 --> 00:17:33,301
Thank you.
441
00:17:34,701 --> 00:17:37,141
But friendship starts with trust.
442
00:17:37,211 --> 00:17:40,521
And for you, that may come
easy, but it doesn't for me.
443
00:17:40,621 --> 00:17:43,541
I mean, only trust people
that I have a history with.
444
00:17:43,611 --> 00:17:45,111
And that takes time.
445
00:17:46,621 --> 00:17:49,021
- Okay.
- All right.
446
00:17:49,091 --> 00:17:50,521
I hear you.
447
00:17:50,591 --> 00:17:51,681
I understand.
448
00:17:51,701 --> 00:17:52,881
Good. Good.
449
00:17:52,901 --> 00:17:54,941
You want to start to
make history right now.
450
00:17:57,091 --> 00:17:59,331
That's not what I meant at all.
451
00:17:59,401 --> 00:18:00,681
Okay. Okay.
452
00:18:00,721 --> 00:18:02,471
I-I've got a good idea.
Just hear me out.
453
00:18:02,501 --> 00:18:04,001
It's an old classic we use at work.
454
00:18:04,071 --> 00:18:06,001
It's called a trust fall.
455
00:18:06,071 --> 00:18:08,001
Oh, no.
456
00:18:08,041 --> 00:18:11,021
No. I'm not doing none
of that hippy-dippity
457
00:18:11,081 --> 00:18:12,871
hacky sack nonsense.
458
00:18:12,881 --> 00:18:15,161
Calvin, please just give me this.
459
00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:16,541
No. Not feeling it.
460
00:18:16,611 --> 00:18:20,081
Well, maybe what you're
feeling... is scared.
461
00:18:20,151 --> 00:18:22,921
[LAUGHS] I'm not scared.
462
00:18:22,991 --> 00:18:24,751
Prove it.
463
00:18:24,821 --> 00:18:26,251
Okay. All right.
464
00:18:26,321 --> 00:18:28,311
If I do this, we'll be done?
465
00:18:28,321 --> 00:18:29,321
I promise.
466
00:18:29,361 --> 00:18:31,131
This is what I get
467
00:18:31,191 --> 00:18:33,061
for being better than everybody else.
468
00:18:33,101 --> 00:18:34,501
Okay, this-this is gonna be great.
469
00:18:34,541 --> 00:18:36,701
Now turn around.
470
00:18:36,771 --> 00:18:38,121
- Okay. You got... turn... all right.
- I-I-I got it.
471
00:18:38,131 --> 00:18:40,131
Turn around. Turn around,
cross your arms.
472
00:18:40,201 --> 00:18:42,831
- [SIGHING]: All right.
- Okay, take a deep breath in.
473
00:18:42,841 --> 00:18:44,441
- [INHALES]
- Okay.
474
00:18:44,511 --> 00:18:47,371
And fall back into my arms.
475
00:18:49,801 --> 00:18:52,471
I can't do it, man. I can't do it.
476
00:18:52,481 --> 00:18:54,281
Okay. You're doing great.
477
00:18:54,351 --> 00:18:56,951
- Now fall back into my arms.
- Okay.
478
00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:58,591
Stop rushing my trust.
479
00:18:58,651 --> 00:18:59,901
All right?
480
00:18:59,941 --> 00:19:01,461
- I'm-I'm gonna do it.
- All right.
481
00:19:01,691 --> 00:19:03,481
All right, I'll do it.
482
00:19:03,491 --> 00:19:05,091
Here we go.
483
00:19:05,161 --> 00:19:07,131
Arms crossed, deep breath.
484
00:19:07,201 --> 00:19:09,001
And, uh...
485
00:19:09,071 --> 00:19:10,931
I'm falling.
486
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:12,971
- Oh. [CHUCKLES]
- You did it.
487
00:19:13,001 --> 00:19:14,441
- Oh, you got me. Okay.
- I got you.
488
00:19:14,501 --> 00:19:16,761
- All right.
- Okay. Okay.
489
00:19:16,821 --> 00:19:18,621
Okay, now. [GRUNTS] Upsy-daisy.
490
00:19:18,661 --> 00:19:20,221
Yeah.
491
00:19:20,241 --> 00:19:22,481
Nah, Dave, you know, it's like you said.
492
00:19:22,551 --> 00:19:25,851
You know, I'm starting to feel
something historical here.
493
00:19:25,921 --> 00:19:27,451
- You know?
- [GROANING]
494
00:19:27,521 --> 00:19:29,021
I'm starting to feel
something, too, man.
495
00:19:29,031 --> 00:19:31,421
Up we go.
496
00:19:31,491 --> 00:19:33,541
No, you know, get comfortable, Dave.
497
00:19:33,561 --> 00:19:35,231
You know, 'cause it's
like I said, you know,
498
00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:36,761
trust takes time.
499
00:19:36,831 --> 00:19:38,261
You know?
500
00:19:38,931 --> 00:19:40,991
So tell me about those lakes again.
501
00:19:41,061 --> 00:19:42,511
- You know, and where you grew up.
- [GROANING]
502
00:19:42,531 --> 00:19:43,931
I always wondered about.
503
00:19:43,941 --> 00:19:46,411
I know it's Superior, that's
the main one, everybody knows.
504
00:19:46,441 --> 00:19:48,971
- Is Ontario a lake?
- Yeah.
505
00:19:49,041 --> 00:19:50,411
How far are you from Eight Mile,
506
00:19:50,421 --> 00:19:52,161
where Eminem grew up? You... ?
507
00:19:53,741 --> 00:19:55,301
Oh, man, this is great.
508
00:19:55,321 --> 00:19:57,781
This is like a Sleep Number bed.
It's actually very nice.
509
00:20:02,681 --> 00:20:05,461
[GROANS]
510
00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:07,221
Gemma.
511
00:20:07,231 --> 00:20:10,231
Uh, can you get me another
bag of peas for my back?
512
00:20:10,241 --> 00:20:11,961
This one's all mushy.
513
00:20:11,971 --> 00:20:14,031
- I'll bring one right up.
- Okay.
514
00:20:14,041 --> 00:20:15,621
And could you bring me some aspirin?
515
00:20:17,101 --> 00:20:19,301
- Sure, honey.
- Thanks.
516
00:20:19,501 --> 00:20:22,341
And then maybe a snack. Just...
517
00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:24,701
something salty but not crunchy.
518
00:20:24,751 --> 00:20:26,741
Okay, Dave.
519
00:20:26,751 --> 00:20:28,951
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
520
00:20:31,781 --> 00:20:33,001
Hey.
521
00:20:33,011 --> 00:20:34,311
Hey, Tina.
522
00:20:34,321 --> 00:20:35,921
I just came to check on Dave.
523
00:20:35,941 --> 00:20:37,071
How's his back?
524
00:20:37,081 --> 00:20:38,081
It's killing me.
525
00:20:38,181 --> 00:20:40,401
Aw.
526
00:20:40,441 --> 00:20:41,611
Well, tell him to feel better.
527
00:20:41,621 --> 00:20:44,461
Oh, and I also wanted to bring
you a key to our house.
528
00:20:44,561 --> 00:20:46,261
Are you sure it's okay with Calvin?
529
00:20:46,841 --> 00:20:49,191
[BOTH LAUGH]
530
00:20:50,221 --> 00:20:51,921
Boys are stupid.
531
00:20:51,941 --> 00:20:54,821
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