1 00:00:03,181 --> 00:00:06,581 Let me guess, you're either hiding from our neighbor Dave, 2 00:00:06,651 --> 00:00:08,921 or the Jehovah's Witnesses are back. 3 00:00:09,091 --> 00:00:11,121 Look, I just want to get my newspaper, 4 00:00:11,191 --> 00:00:12,941 but every time I go outside, 5 00:00:12,991 --> 00:00:15,821 the guy just sneaks up on me all quiet like a Prius. 6 00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:17,161 [LAUGHS] 7 00:00:17,231 --> 00:00:18,531 You know, the other day, 8 00:00:18,541 --> 00:00:20,231 he cornered me talking about Michigan. 9 00:00:20,301 --> 00:00:24,031 I spent 30 minutes listening to him rank the Great Lakes. 10 00:00:24,101 --> 00:00:26,931 [LAUGHS] Yup, he did the same thing to me, 11 00:00:27,001 --> 00:00:29,871 and, ironically, Lake Superior not number one. 12 00:00:31,511 --> 00:00:33,471 What kind of world do we live in 13 00:00:33,541 --> 00:00:35,941 where a man can't go outside his own home 14 00:00:36,011 --> 00:00:38,181 without having to say hello to his neighbor? 15 00:00:39,171 --> 00:00:40,461 What are you doing? 16 00:00:40,501 --> 00:00:41,871 He's hiding from Dave. 17 00:00:41,941 --> 00:00:43,861 Why? The only thing scary about him 18 00:00:43,871 --> 00:00:45,771 are the tiny shorts he jogs in. 19 00:00:45,841 --> 00:00:47,341 Tell me about it. 20 00:00:47,411 --> 00:00:49,211 The last time I saw that much white meat 21 00:00:49,231 --> 00:00:50,741 it was fried and in a bucket. 22 00:00:50,811 --> 00:00:52,781 [LAUGHTER] 23 00:00:52,851 --> 00:00:55,251 Well, I know he's not like most folks around here, 24 00:00:55,321 --> 00:00:57,181 but I think Dave is kind of cool. 25 00:00:57,251 --> 00:00:59,451 All I know is, since they moved into this neighborhood, 26 00:00:59,521 --> 00:01:01,751 I feel like I'm on house arrest. 27 00:01:01,821 --> 00:01:04,921 Well, I say don't you let fear of Dave imprison you, Pop. 28 00:01:04,991 --> 00:01:06,691 Throw off the chains of your oppressor 29 00:01:06,761 --> 00:01:08,431 and go get that newspaper, my brother! 30 00:01:11,801 --> 00:01:13,561 But before you do, close your robe. 31 00:01:13,631 --> 00:01:14,871 I can see your chicken nuggets. 32 00:01:14,901 --> 00:01:16,101 Hey. 33 00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:22,571 Dad, what are you doing? 34 00:01:22,641 --> 00:01:25,241 I'm seeing if Calvin's outside. I want to give him something. 35 00:01:25,311 --> 00:01:27,611 I was talking about your shorts. 36 00:01:29,651 --> 00:01:31,821 Well, this is what people wear in California. 37 00:01:31,831 --> 00:01:34,051 It's so you don't overheat when you're running. 38 00:01:34,121 --> 00:01:36,721 That's smart, 'cause if I wore those to school 39 00:01:36,791 --> 00:01:38,661 I'd definitely get chased. 40 00:01:39,521 --> 00:01:42,731 Yeah, by all the ladies. 41 00:01:42,801 --> 00:01:44,531 Ready for school, Grover? 42 00:01:44,541 --> 00:01:46,901 Whoa, look at those sexy legs. 43 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,741 - Told you. - Why are you still here? 44 00:01:50,751 --> 00:01:51,801 I thought you were going for a run. 45 00:01:51,821 --> 00:01:53,771 Oh, I'm about to. I was hoping to catch Calvin outside. 46 00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:55,181 I want to give him a key to our house. 47 00:01:55,211 --> 00:01:56,481 - Really? - Yeah. 48 00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:58,121 Don't you think it's a little too soon for that? 49 00:01:58,141 --> 00:02:00,221 Uh, well, no, he's our neighbor. 50 00:02:00,261 --> 00:02:02,061 We gave all our neighbors keys back in Michigan. 51 00:02:02,081 --> 00:02:04,451 Grammy says people in Michigan are good, 52 00:02:04,521 --> 00:02:06,761 not like here where they're all criminals 53 00:02:06,781 --> 00:02:08,201 and Hollywood elites. 54 00:02:10,061 --> 00:02:11,291 When did Grammy say that? 55 00:02:11,361 --> 00:02:13,661 Just now. We're texting. 56 00:02:13,731 --> 00:02:15,991 Oh, hey, guys, there's Calvin. 57 00:02:16,061 --> 00:02:18,221 Buddy, have a great day. Bye. 58 00:02:19,271 --> 00:02:22,501 Mom, what do you think of Dad's shorts? 59 00:02:22,571 --> 00:02:24,541 Honestly, I thought they were yours. 60 00:02:27,641 --> 00:02:30,641 - Hey, Calvin! - Oh. 61 00:02:30,711 --> 00:02:31,911 Hey, Dave. 62 00:02:31,981 --> 00:02:33,241 Hey, I'm glad I ran into you. 63 00:02:33,301 --> 00:02:34,321 I want to give you something. 64 00:02:34,351 --> 00:02:35,351 Really? 65 00:02:35,361 --> 00:02:37,621 There's enough fabric in those for pockets? 66 00:02:38,601 --> 00:02:39,821 Here you go. 67 00:02:39,891 --> 00:02:40,991 What's that? 68 00:02:41,021 --> 00:02:42,021 Well, it's a key to our house. 69 00:02:42,041 --> 00:02:43,651 I want you to have it. 70 00:02:43,721 --> 00:02:45,341 I now pronounce us neighbors. 71 00:02:46,861 --> 00:02:48,391 Nah, I'm good, man. 72 00:02:48,461 --> 00:02:49,531 [CHUCKLES] 73 00:02:49,601 --> 00:02:51,331 Wh-What do you mean you're good? 74 00:02:51,401 --> 00:02:53,011 I don't need a key to your house. 75 00:02:53,021 --> 00:02:54,061 What if there's an emergency, 76 00:02:54,071 --> 00:02:55,701 or you want to borrow something and we're not home, 77 00:02:55,721 --> 00:02:57,161 or it's my birthday and you want to throw me 78 00:02:57,191 --> 00:02:58,741 a surprise birthday party. 79 00:02:58,811 --> 00:03:01,741 I'm not throwing you a surprise party. 80 00:03:01,811 --> 00:03:03,451 Exactly what someone throwing me 81 00:03:03,461 --> 00:03:04,911 a surprise party would say. 82 00:03:06,481 --> 00:03:09,041 Look, Dave, I don't know what it's like where you're from... 83 00:03:09,061 --> 00:03:10,211 Oh, it is beautiful. 84 00:03:10,281 --> 00:03:12,241 I mean, the trees, 85 00:03:12,261 --> 00:03:14,051 they go on for miles. 86 00:03:14,121 --> 00:03:16,891 Okay, look, that's-that's not what I'm talking about. 87 00:03:16,961 --> 00:03:20,561 Around here, we don't give out keys to people we just met. 88 00:03:20,631 --> 00:03:21,741 Well, how come? 89 00:03:21,821 --> 00:03:24,461 Simple, people are terrible. 90 00:03:25,671 --> 00:03:26,781 No, they're not, people are great. 91 00:03:26,791 --> 00:03:28,441 You should try giving them the benefit of the doubt. 92 00:03:28,471 --> 00:03:30,401 I do. I doubt them every day. 93 00:03:31,441 --> 00:03:34,211 Okay, look, just take the key, okay? 94 00:03:34,271 --> 00:03:35,871 O-Okay, if I take this key, 95 00:03:35,881 --> 00:03:37,801 can I go read my paper in peace? 96 00:03:37,811 --> 00:03:38,941 Absolutely. 97 00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:40,081 Oh, fine. 98 00:03:40,151 --> 00:03:42,851 All right, talk to you later. See you. 99 00:03:42,921 --> 00:03:44,681 Oh, and just one more thing, um... 100 00:03:44,751 --> 00:03:47,181 Dave, we had a deal. 101 00:03:47,251 --> 00:03:49,191 I was just wondering, 102 00:03:49,261 --> 00:03:51,861 is there anything maybe that you want to give to me? 103 00:03:51,921 --> 00:03:54,091 Yes, some advice. 104 00:03:54,161 --> 00:03:55,641 Stop jogging through the neighborhood 105 00:03:55,701 --> 00:03:57,641 in your hot pants. 106 00:03:58,461 --> 00:04:00,741 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 107 00:04:00,761 --> 00:04:02,701 ♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪ 108 00:04:04,081 --> 00:04:06,441 I thought you guys were going to the park. 109 00:04:06,491 --> 00:04:07,591 It's kind of hot out, 110 00:04:07,661 --> 00:04:09,761 so we thought we'd just hang out here instead. 111 00:04:09,831 --> 00:04:11,561 Dad says he doesn't want to go outside 112 00:04:11,591 --> 00:04:13,771 because Mr. Calvin didn't give him a key. 113 00:04:16,321 --> 00:04:20,721 Grover, it's called father/son confidentiality. 114 00:04:20,791 --> 00:04:22,591 Are you still hung up on this key thing? 115 00:04:22,661 --> 00:04:24,861 It's awkward now. 116 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,101 Like when you wave to someone 117 00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:29,301 who you thought was waving to you, but they weren't. 118 00:04:29,371 --> 00:04:32,801 I told you to stop waving at everyone. 119 00:04:33,601 --> 00:04:36,271 I'm a waver, Gemma. 120 00:04:36,341 --> 00:04:38,341 It's what I do. 121 00:04:38,401 --> 00:04:40,281 You know I love how enthusiastic you are, 122 00:04:40,341 --> 00:04:42,441 but sometimes it can get a little out of hand. 123 00:04:42,511 --> 00:04:44,111 Name one time. 124 00:04:44,181 --> 00:04:46,321 You proposed to me on our third date. 125 00:04:47,641 --> 00:04:49,791 Yeah. That is because... 126 00:04:50,721 --> 00:04:52,151 we had just had sex. 127 00:04:54,231 --> 00:04:56,151 I'm just saying sometimes you're ready for things 128 00:04:56,191 --> 00:04:57,591 before other people are. 129 00:04:57,611 --> 00:04:59,061 It might take a while for Calvin. 130 00:04:59,071 --> 00:05:02,461 Yeah, but it's been a month, and by that time... 131 00:05:03,531 --> 00:05:05,471 ... we had had a bunch of sex. 132 00:05:05,541 --> 00:05:07,091 Come on, baby, I'll take you, 133 00:05:07,101 --> 00:05:08,601 and if you want to connect to Calvin, 134 00:05:08,611 --> 00:05:09,651 maybe you should try finding something 135 00:05:09,661 --> 00:05:10,841 you guys have in common. 136 00:05:10,861 --> 00:05:13,641 I'll try, but this guy doesn't even have a favorite lake. 137 00:05:15,351 --> 00:05:17,951 - What up! What up! - Oh, hey, baby. 138 00:05:18,021 --> 00:05:20,081 Well, I see you brought your laundry again. 139 00:05:20,101 --> 00:05:22,851 That's right, colors and a few whites, 140 00:05:22,921 --> 00:05:25,491 just like this neighborhood since the Johnsons moved in. 141 00:05:26,821 --> 00:05:29,431 Well, here, let me take those for you. 142 00:05:29,491 --> 00:05:31,271 Ma, how come you still do Marty's laundry, 143 00:05:31,301 --> 00:05:32,531 but you won't do mine? 144 00:05:32,601 --> 00:05:34,031 It's because he doesn't live here. 145 00:05:34,041 --> 00:05:36,101 It's how I make sure I see my baby boy. 146 00:05:36,171 --> 00:05:38,131 Yeah, if she wants to see you, 147 00:05:38,181 --> 00:05:39,871 all she has to do is check the couch. 148 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,111 Baby, leave him alone. He's looking for a job. 149 00:05:44,181 --> 00:05:47,011 What job? Manager of throw pillows? 150 00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:48,661 [LAUGHING] 151 00:05:48,741 --> 00:05:51,981 Yeah, that sounds like a cushy job. 152 00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:54,121 Oh, and by the way, 153 00:05:54,191 --> 00:05:56,451 this fell out of your pocket in the wash. 154 00:05:56,521 --> 00:05:58,321 - [GROANS] - What's wrong? 155 00:05:58,391 --> 00:06:00,391 It's a key to Dave's house. 156 00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,931 He gave it to me in case of an emergency. 157 00:06:02,991 --> 00:06:05,831 Like I'm gonna help him in an emergency. 158 00:06:06,781 --> 00:06:08,361 I think that's nice. 159 00:06:08,391 --> 00:06:10,231 We could all learn a lesson from Dave, 160 00:06:10,301 --> 00:06:12,471 how to open our hearts to our neighbors, right? 161 00:06:12,541 --> 00:06:14,401 That guy can't teach me anything. 162 00:06:14,471 --> 00:06:16,131 Well, you know, I'm glad he moved in. 163 00:06:16,141 --> 00:06:18,411 Giving out keys, waving at everybody. 164 00:06:18,481 --> 00:06:20,551 He is the most entertaining thing to happen around here 165 00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,311 since Crackhead Victor found that horse. 166 00:06:22,381 --> 00:06:25,311 Remember when he tried to footrace him? 167 00:06:25,381 --> 00:06:28,321 [LAUGHTER] 168 00:06:28,391 --> 00:06:29,991 Ay, well, you might not like it, Pop, 169 00:06:30,001 --> 00:06:31,391 but, uh, Dave lives here now. 170 00:06:31,461 --> 00:06:33,191 That makes him part of our community. 171 00:06:33,261 --> 00:06:34,721 No, no, it doesn't. 172 00:06:34,791 --> 00:06:36,491 You don't let someone into your community 173 00:06:36,511 --> 00:06:38,531 just because they give you a spare key. 174 00:06:38,601 --> 00:06:40,401 Come on now, let's go work on this truck. 175 00:06:40,421 --> 00:06:41,511 Aw, come on, Pop. 176 00:06:41,521 --> 00:06:43,701 That truck is always broke, and it never works. 177 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:46,131 Then you two got something in common. Come on now. 178 00:06:49,141 --> 00:06:50,441 Hey, guys. 179 00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,081 What year is that, a '64? 180 00:06:53,141 --> 00:06:55,541 Close, '65. 181 00:06:55,611 --> 00:06:57,711 Oof, should've known. 182 00:06:57,781 --> 00:07:00,561 '64 didn't have turn signals above the headlights. 183 00:07:00,701 --> 00:07:03,621 Oh, you sound like you know a thing or two about trucks, Dave. 184 00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:05,421 Well, you know, I am from Michigan. 185 00:07:05,581 --> 00:07:08,591 Detroit, the Motor City, 186 00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:10,661 The D. 187 00:07:12,261 --> 00:07:14,261 Dave from The D! 188 00:07:19,001 --> 00:07:20,641 See you guys got a V-8 in there 189 00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:21,721 instead of the straight six. 190 00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:23,471 That's like 50 more horses, huh? 191 00:07:23,541 --> 00:07:25,411 Yes, it is. 192 00:07:25,481 --> 00:07:27,381 So I guess you do know your stuff. 193 00:07:27,441 --> 00:07:30,781 Yeah, like I said, Dave from the D. 194 00:07:32,051 --> 00:07:34,561 Dad, I want to use the iPad. 195 00:07:34,661 --> 00:07:37,051 Are you done googling Mr. Calvin's truck? 196 00:07:41,331 --> 00:07:43,331 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, man. 197 00:07:44,561 --> 00:07:46,501 What is wrong with you? 198 00:07:46,561 --> 00:07:48,901 Googling another man's truck? 199 00:07:48,971 --> 00:07:51,271 Bruh. 200 00:07:51,341 --> 00:07:54,171 I was just trying to find some common ground with you. 201 00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:56,611 [SCOFFS] What, by lying to us that you know about trucks? 202 00:07:56,671 --> 00:07:58,911 - Yeah. - Yeah, but in a neighborly way. 203 00:07:58,981 --> 00:08:00,481 Wh-What's going on here, man? 204 00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:04,851 Uh, look, I know I don't always show my emotions. 205 00:08:07,381 --> 00:08:10,651 But the other day when I gave you a key 206 00:08:10,721 --> 00:08:13,461 and you didn't give me one back, it bothered me. 207 00:08:13,521 --> 00:08:15,781 Bruh. 208 00:08:16,161 --> 00:08:17,811 You know what? You want a key? 209 00:08:17,821 --> 00:08:19,151 You know what? Fine. 210 00:08:19,161 --> 00:08:20,701 Here. Here's a damn key. 211 00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:23,501 Are you sure? I don't want to impose. 212 00:08:25,521 --> 00:08:26,901 Okay. 213 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,441 I can't believe you like that guy. 214 00:08:33,511 --> 00:08:35,481 I can't believe you gave him a key. 215 00:08:35,551 --> 00:08:37,241 I gave him a key. 216 00:08:37,341 --> 00:08:39,181 I didn't give him the key. 217 00:08:39,251 --> 00:08:41,681 Okay, then what was that one to? 218 00:08:41,751 --> 00:08:43,001 Oh, that was to your Uncle Clyde's 219 00:08:43,011 --> 00:08:44,721 storage locker in West Covina. 220 00:08:45,921 --> 00:08:48,221 Yeah, if ever he needs 35 broken TVs 221 00:08:48,291 --> 00:08:50,891 or a box of autographed Hammer pants, he all set. 222 00:08:57,461 --> 00:08:59,241 - [WHISTLING] - [DOOR CLOSES] 223 00:08:59,311 --> 00:09:03,611 Ooh, look at you looking all fresh and sexy. 224 00:09:03,681 --> 00:09:05,531 Girl, you treating me like a piece of meat. 225 00:09:05,541 --> 00:09:06,551 [LAUGHS] 226 00:09:06,581 --> 00:09:08,041 And I like it. 227 00:09:10,321 --> 00:09:11,881 Mmm. 228 00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:13,891 What's got you all riled up? 229 00:09:13,951 --> 00:09:17,241 Well, Gemma told me about how you gave Dave the key, 230 00:09:17,281 --> 00:09:19,041 and it got me to thinking what a big, 231 00:09:19,081 --> 00:09:20,771 generous man I married, 232 00:09:20,801 --> 00:09:23,781 and I guess it put me in a generous mood, too. 233 00:09:23,801 --> 00:09:26,101 - [LAUGHING] - Yeah, you know, baby, 234 00:09:26,121 --> 00:09:27,131 a-about the key... 235 00:09:27,201 --> 00:09:28,851 - you know, I-I was... - No, no, listen, baby. Shh. 236 00:09:28,881 --> 00:09:30,701 Don't be embarrassed, okay? 237 00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,361 I love it when you're not afraid 238 00:09:32,391 --> 00:09:35,661 to let people see past that rough and tough exterior. 239 00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:38,931 Makes me know that you are still that big, soft teddy bear 240 00:09:38,941 --> 00:09:41,711 that I married and I'm in love with. 241 00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:43,081 [BOTH LAUGH] 242 00:09:43,121 --> 00:09:46,341 - Yeah? - Yeah. [LAUGHS] 243 00:09:46,421 --> 00:09:48,991 And you know what bears like? 244 00:09:49,001 --> 00:09:50,381 Honey. 245 00:09:50,391 --> 00:09:54,261 [BOTH LAUGHING] 246 00:09:55,201 --> 00:09:56,661 That taste good, too. 247 00:09:56,731 --> 00:09:58,181 - Uh-huh. - [LAUGHING] 248 00:09:58,261 --> 00:09:59,901 I made the boys go to the movies, 249 00:09:59,961 --> 00:10:03,701 so I will be waiting for you in the cave. 250 00:10:07,371 --> 00:10:09,371 [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] 251 00:10:11,061 --> 00:10:13,161 Man, I know that key was fake, 252 00:10:13,281 --> 00:10:15,251 but Lord, this about to get real. 253 00:10:18,181 --> 00:10:20,571 ♪ Today is a good day ♪ 254 00:10:20,581 --> 00:10:21,641 [LAUGHS] 255 00:10:21,651 --> 00:10:23,621 ♪ Nah, nah-nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah... ♪ 256 00:10:23,641 --> 00:10:25,761 My, this smells good up in here. 257 00:10:25,781 --> 00:10:28,241 Ah. I'm making banana pancakes. 258 00:10:28,281 --> 00:10:29,621 I'll fix you a plate. Sit down. 259 00:10:29,661 --> 00:10:32,321 All right. Ma, what's got you in such a good mood? 260 00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:34,011 Well, let's just say while you and your brother 261 00:10:34,021 --> 00:10:35,331 were out last night, 262 00:10:35,341 --> 00:10:38,501 your father and I had a... sensual evening. 263 00:10:40,241 --> 00:10:42,281 And there goes my appetite. 264 00:10:42,321 --> 00:10:46,421 ♪ Today is a good day, today is a good day ♪ 265 00:10:46,441 --> 00:10:48,191 ♪ Nah, nah-nah, nah, nah, nah, nah... ♪ 266 00:10:48,221 --> 00:10:50,641 - ♪ Yeah, baby. ♪ - How you doing, baby? 267 00:10:50,681 --> 00:10:51,781 - Mwah. - [BOTH LAUGH] 268 00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:53,671 I would ask for some more honey, 269 00:10:53,681 --> 00:10:54,911 but I believe we fresh out. 270 00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:56,251 Ooh. [LAUGHS] 271 00:10:56,321 --> 00:10:57,921 Hey, man. 272 00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,461 That was family honey. 273 00:10:59,531 --> 00:11:02,151 You want me to make you a plate, babe? 274 00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:03,631 Yeah. You know, I'll be right back. 275 00:11:03,701 --> 00:11:05,251 - I'm-a go get my paper. - Oh, guess what. 276 00:11:05,261 --> 00:11:07,131 - Mm-hmm. - I'll keep it warm for you. 277 00:11:07,201 --> 00:11:08,901 [LAUGHS] You always do. 278 00:11:08,921 --> 00:11:10,071 [LAUGHS] 279 00:11:10,141 --> 00:11:11,941 Enjoy your pancakes, son. 280 00:11:13,471 --> 00:11:15,971 Your father's a good man. 281 00:11:16,041 --> 00:11:17,981 Yeah? And why do you say that? 282 00:11:18,041 --> 00:11:19,941 Well, he's finally starting 283 00:11:19,961 --> 00:11:22,561 to open up to Dave, just like I told him to do. 284 00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:24,611 Yeah, opened up by giving him a fake key. 285 00:11:24,621 --> 00:11:26,331 A fake key? Now what now? 286 00:11:27,841 --> 00:11:30,511 You know, look, Dave wouldn't let it go, Ma, 287 00:11:30,521 --> 00:11:32,811 so Dad just gave him a fake key to shut him up. 288 00:11:32,881 --> 00:11:35,841 [SIGHS] So he didn't listen to me? 289 00:11:35,911 --> 00:11:37,481 He doesn't listen to anyone. 290 00:11:37,551 --> 00:11:40,141 And to think I spent all morning 291 00:11:40,181 --> 00:11:41,781 getting honey out of my sheets! 292 00:11:45,921 --> 00:11:48,791 - Ah. Yeah. - [DOOR RATTLING] 293 00:11:48,821 --> 00:11:50,021 What? 294 00:11:50,041 --> 00:11:51,361 Hey, baby. Tina? 295 00:11:51,431 --> 00:11:53,251 The door locked accidentally. 296 00:11:53,261 --> 00:11:54,901 [DOOR RATTLING] 297 00:11:58,301 --> 00:12:01,041 You thought you was slick. 298 00:12:01,101 --> 00:12:03,841 Lying to me about giving Dave the key? 299 00:12:03,911 --> 00:12:06,011 - Babe, let me explain. - Oh. You're gonna explain. 300 00:12:06,021 --> 00:12:07,271 - Mm-hmm. - Okay. Wait. What you... ? 301 00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:08,381 Who you calling? 302 00:12:08,441 --> 00:12:09,911 Hey, Dave! 303 00:12:09,981 --> 00:12:11,911 Yeah. 304 00:12:11,921 --> 00:12:14,191 Can you do me a favor? I'm at the store, 305 00:12:14,221 --> 00:12:17,181 and apparently, Calvin locked himself outside. 306 00:12:17,251 --> 00:12:19,651 Uh-huh. [LAUGHS] Big dummy. 307 00:12:19,721 --> 00:12:21,921 Tina, come on. Baby, I'm your husband. 308 00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,991 We were sensual last night. 309 00:12:24,061 --> 00:12:26,431 Oh, you will? Oh. 310 00:12:26,501 --> 00:12:27,831 Thanks so much, Dave. 311 00:12:27,841 --> 00:12:29,761 You're the best. [LAUGHS] 312 00:12:29,771 --> 00:12:31,401 And you ain't. 313 00:12:33,471 --> 00:12:34,841 Hey, Malcolm? 314 00:12:34,901 --> 00:12:36,821 Hey, Malcolm! Malcolm, come on, man. 315 00:12:36,841 --> 00:12:38,741 Your mama trippin'. Come and unlock the door! 316 00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:42,281 I can't help you, bruh. 317 00:12:46,521 --> 00:12:48,081 [DOOR CLOSES] 318 00:12:48,151 --> 00:12:50,951 Hey, Calvin, I just got off with Tina. 319 00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:53,891 Got your keys right here. 320 00:12:53,921 --> 00:12:56,691 Malcolm! Malcolm, come on, open the door, please. 321 00:12:56,761 --> 00:12:59,031 I love you, son. 322 00:12:59,921 --> 00:13:02,361 - I told you you wouldn't regret this. - [LAUGHS] 323 00:13:02,431 --> 00:13:04,061 All right, let me open her up for you. 324 00:13:04,121 --> 00:13:05,591 All right. 325 00:13:05,601 --> 00:13:07,231 - Okay. - Yeah. 326 00:13:07,301 --> 00:13:08,641 [LAUGHS] 327 00:13:08,711 --> 00:13:10,241 Here we go. 328 00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:12,671 There we go. 329 00:13:12,741 --> 00:13:14,441 Why are you blocking the door? 330 00:13:14,511 --> 00:13:16,811 - I'm not blocking the door. - Okay. 331 00:13:16,881 --> 00:13:19,151 [LAUGHS, MUMBLES] 332 00:13:19,221 --> 00:13:22,281 Gotta change these out. 333 00:13:22,351 --> 00:13:23,951 This isn't a key to your house, is it? 334 00:13:24,021 --> 00:13:25,921 - Of course it is. - You sure? 335 00:13:25,991 --> 00:13:27,211 Sure I'm sure. 336 00:13:27,221 --> 00:13:28,641 So if I put this key 337 00:13:28,731 --> 00:13:30,461 in that lock, that door'll open? 338 00:13:31,441 --> 00:13:33,161 It will not. 339 00:13:34,401 --> 00:13:36,501 - Unbelievable! - Look, 340 00:13:36,571 --> 00:13:38,761 Dave, no. Let me explain it to you, Dave. 341 00:13:38,771 --> 00:13:40,401 Don't be like that. Dave! 342 00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:42,471 Dave from the D! 343 00:13:43,911 --> 00:13:45,471 What are you making? 344 00:13:45,541 --> 00:13:46,971 Mac and cheese. 345 00:13:47,041 --> 00:13:48,441 I needed some comfort food. 346 00:13:48,941 --> 00:13:50,341 Why is it brown? 347 00:13:50,411 --> 00:13:52,681 All we had was chocolate milk. 348 00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:57,691 Sweetie, you got to get over this Calvin thing. 349 00:13:57,751 --> 00:13:58,911 But we're neighbors. 350 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,001 We should be friends. 351 00:14:00,121 --> 00:14:02,041 I know you're upset, but you do realize 352 00:14:02,061 --> 00:14:03,521 this is kind of your fault. 353 00:14:03,591 --> 00:14:04,661 How? 354 00:14:04,731 --> 00:14:06,361 Come on, admit it. 355 00:14:06,431 --> 00:14:08,151 The real reason you gave Calvin a key 356 00:14:08,161 --> 00:14:10,011 is because you were hoping he'd give you one. 357 00:14:10,021 --> 00:14:11,351 Like when you give me a back rub 358 00:14:11,361 --> 00:14:12,761 because you want one, too. 359 00:14:12,771 --> 00:14:15,041 Oh, that's not true. I don't even like back rubs. 360 00:14:15,101 --> 00:14:16,941 I do it because I want to have sex. 361 00:14:18,661 --> 00:14:20,921 Exactly. You're not giving it because you want to, 362 00:14:20,941 --> 00:14:23,141 you're giving it because you want something in return. 363 00:14:23,211 --> 00:14:25,221 In fact, sometimes I think the only reason 364 00:14:25,261 --> 00:14:26,881 you wave at everybody is because 365 00:14:26,951 --> 00:14:28,551 you want them to wave at you. 366 00:14:29,261 --> 00:14:30,621 How dare you? 367 00:14:30,691 --> 00:14:33,351 Just saying, maybe you should think about it 368 00:14:33,421 --> 00:14:36,791 while you wallow in your disgusting pity pasta. 369 00:14:39,941 --> 00:14:41,131 What are you doing here? 370 00:14:41,201 --> 00:14:42,861 I got to get my laundry back. 371 00:14:42,901 --> 00:14:44,241 Man, I'm down to my swimming trunks. 372 00:14:44,271 --> 00:14:46,241 Hey. 373 00:14:46,301 --> 00:14:47,781 Yeah, well, I don't think you want to be here. 374 00:14:47,801 --> 00:14:49,241 Moms is still not talking to Pops, 375 00:14:49,311 --> 00:14:51,071 and he's blaming me for ratting him out. 376 00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:52,541 Okay, well, in that case, 377 00:14:52,571 --> 00:14:54,241 I'm just gonna turn these inside out. 378 00:14:54,311 --> 00:14:57,141 Well, well, well. 379 00:14:57,211 --> 00:14:58,881 If it ain't the dynamic duo: 380 00:14:58,951 --> 00:15:01,621 Laundry Boy and the Snitch. 381 00:15:03,121 --> 00:15:04,521 You know, I got a job. 382 00:15:04,591 --> 00:15:06,051 I could just buy some new underwear. 383 00:15:06,121 --> 00:15:08,121 Hey, Marty. 384 00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:10,561 Mommy was just about to fold your laundry. 385 00:15:10,621 --> 00:15:12,561 - Hmm. - Oh, yeah, and here's yours. 386 00:15:12,631 --> 00:15:14,331 Oh. Thanks. Okay. 387 00:15:14,401 --> 00:15:16,101 All right. All right, Tina. 388 00:15:16,171 --> 00:15:19,921 Babe, I already apologized for not being straight with you. 389 00:15:19,941 --> 00:15:21,501 I mean, what else do you want? 390 00:15:21,571 --> 00:15:24,911 I want you to apologize to Dave for lying to him. 391 00:15:24,971 --> 00:15:27,111 But it was one little white lie. 392 00:15:27,181 --> 00:15:29,241 Yeah, to one little white guy. 393 00:15:29,311 --> 00:15:31,251 [BOTH LAUGH] 394 00:15:31,311 --> 00:15:34,951 Besides, I don't owe him an apology. 395 00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:37,551 All I wanted to do was work on my truck 396 00:15:37,621 --> 00:15:38,881 and live my life. 397 00:15:38,901 --> 00:15:40,321 But he wouldn't let it go. 398 00:15:40,391 --> 00:15:41,791 Oh, yeah, Pops, you're right. 399 00:15:41,861 --> 00:15:43,121 You the real victim here. 400 00:15:43,191 --> 00:15:45,191 - See? - I was being sarcastic. 401 00:15:45,261 --> 00:15:47,031 I know, but it was working, right? 402 00:15:48,141 --> 00:15:51,131 Listen, I know Dave can be a little extra, 403 00:15:51,141 --> 00:15:53,901 but he's our neighbor, and you are a better man than that. 404 00:15:53,971 --> 00:15:55,341 - Is he? - Not really. 405 00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:59,141 Yes, he is. 406 00:15:59,211 --> 00:16:01,211 Who built the manger for our Christmas pageant? 407 00:16:01,281 --> 00:16:04,481 Who fixed Old Mrs. Kim's transmission for free? 408 00:16:04,551 --> 00:16:06,081 And who held a fundraiser 409 00:16:06,091 --> 00:16:08,451 to fix all the basketball courts in the park? 410 00:16:08,521 --> 00:16:10,781 Okay. Nice try, Tina. 411 00:16:10,851 --> 00:16:12,721 See, I see what you're doing right here. 412 00:16:12,791 --> 00:16:13,871 You're doing that thing 413 00:16:13,881 --> 00:16:15,681 where you try to make me feel bad 414 00:16:15,691 --> 00:16:17,321 for being such a good person. 415 00:16:17,381 --> 00:16:19,341 - It's working, isn't it? - Damn right it is. 416 00:16:19,361 --> 00:16:20,961 Ugh. 417 00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:27,501 Hey, Gemma. 418 00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:28,771 Hey, Calvin. 419 00:16:28,841 --> 00:16:30,141 Is Dave here? 420 00:16:30,211 --> 00:16:31,711 Hold on, let me check. 421 00:16:35,101 --> 00:16:37,411 - He says he's not here. - Okay. 422 00:16:37,481 --> 00:16:38,881 Dave, come on, man. 423 00:16:43,191 --> 00:16:45,991 Calvin. 424 00:16:46,061 --> 00:16:49,011 Look, I shouldn't have done you wrong like that, 425 00:16:49,021 --> 00:16:52,491 so I brought you a real key. 426 00:16:52,561 --> 00:16:54,091 No, I don't want it anymore. 427 00:16:55,841 --> 00:16:57,261 Come on, man, take the key. 428 00:16:57,331 --> 00:16:58,341 I told you I don't want it. 429 00:16:58,361 --> 00:17:00,011 Come on, man, take the key. 430 00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:01,061 - No. - Dave, take it. 431 00:17:01,071 --> 00:17:02,771 - No, thank you. - You know what? 432 00:17:10,951 --> 00:17:13,981 You really trying to outrun me, Calvin? 433 00:17:14,051 --> 00:17:16,521 Yeah. 434 00:17:16,591 --> 00:17:18,721 You're lucky I didn't stretch. 435 00:17:20,421 --> 00:17:22,361 Okay, look, I realize now 436 00:17:22,371 --> 00:17:24,231 that I gave you this key for the wrong reason. 437 00:17:24,291 --> 00:17:25,961 I was trying to force you to be my friend. 438 00:17:26,031 --> 00:17:27,831 Clearly, you're not interested. 439 00:17:27,901 --> 00:17:31,001 [SIGHS] You know, Dave, you seem like a nice guy. 440 00:17:31,071 --> 00:17:33,301 Thank you. 441 00:17:34,701 --> 00:17:37,141 But friendship starts with trust. 442 00:17:37,211 --> 00:17:40,521 And for you, that may come easy, but it doesn't for me. 443 00:17:40,621 --> 00:17:43,541 I mean, only trust people that I have a history with. 444 00:17:43,611 --> 00:17:45,111 And that takes time. 445 00:17:46,621 --> 00:17:49,021 - Okay. - All right. 446 00:17:49,091 --> 00:17:50,521 I hear you. 447 00:17:50,591 --> 00:17:51,681 I understand. 448 00:17:51,701 --> 00:17:52,881 Good. Good. 449 00:17:52,901 --> 00:17:54,941 You want to start to make history right now. 450 00:17:57,091 --> 00:17:59,331 That's not what I meant at all. 451 00:17:59,401 --> 00:18:00,681 Okay. Okay. 452 00:18:00,721 --> 00:18:02,471 I-I've got a good idea. Just hear me out. 453 00:18:02,501 --> 00:18:04,001 It's an old classic we use at work. 454 00:18:04,071 --> 00:18:06,001 It's called a trust fall. 455 00:18:06,071 --> 00:18:08,001 Oh, no. 456 00:18:08,041 --> 00:18:11,021 No. I'm not doing none of that hippy-dippity 457 00:18:11,081 --> 00:18:12,871 hacky sack nonsense. 458 00:18:12,881 --> 00:18:15,161 Calvin, please just give me this. 459 00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:16,541 No. Not feeling it. 460 00:18:16,611 --> 00:18:20,081 Well, maybe what you're feeling... is scared. 461 00:18:20,151 --> 00:18:22,921 [LAUGHS] I'm not scared. 462 00:18:22,991 --> 00:18:24,751 Prove it. 463 00:18:24,821 --> 00:18:26,251 Okay. All right. 464 00:18:26,321 --> 00:18:28,311 If I do this, we'll be done? 465 00:18:28,321 --> 00:18:29,321 I promise. 466 00:18:29,361 --> 00:18:31,131 This is what I get 467 00:18:31,191 --> 00:18:33,061 for being better than everybody else. 468 00:18:33,101 --> 00:18:34,501 Okay, this-this is gonna be great. 469 00:18:34,541 --> 00:18:36,701 Now turn around. 470 00:18:36,771 --> 00:18:38,121 - Okay. You got... turn... all right. - I-I-I got it. 471 00:18:38,131 --> 00:18:40,131 Turn around. Turn around, cross your arms. 472 00:18:40,201 --> 00:18:42,831 - [SIGHING]: All right. - Okay, take a deep breath in. 473 00:18:42,841 --> 00:18:44,441 - [INHALES] - Okay. 474 00:18:44,511 --> 00:18:47,371 And fall back into my arms. 475 00:18:49,801 --> 00:18:52,471 I can't do it, man. I can't do it. 476 00:18:52,481 --> 00:18:54,281 Okay. You're doing great. 477 00:18:54,351 --> 00:18:56,951 - Now fall back into my arms. - Okay. 478 00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:58,591 Stop rushing my trust. 479 00:18:58,651 --> 00:18:59,901 All right? 480 00:18:59,941 --> 00:19:01,461 - I'm-I'm gonna do it. - All right. 481 00:19:01,691 --> 00:19:03,481 All right, I'll do it. 482 00:19:03,491 --> 00:19:05,091 Here we go. 483 00:19:05,161 --> 00:19:07,131 Arms crossed, deep breath. 484 00:19:07,201 --> 00:19:09,001 And, uh... 485 00:19:09,071 --> 00:19:10,931 I'm falling. 486 00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:12,971 - Oh. [CHUCKLES] - You did it. 487 00:19:13,001 --> 00:19:14,441 - Oh, you got me. Okay. - I got you. 488 00:19:14,501 --> 00:19:16,761 - All right. - Okay. Okay. 489 00:19:16,821 --> 00:19:18,621 Okay, now. [GRUNTS] Upsy-daisy. 490 00:19:18,661 --> 00:19:20,221 Yeah. 491 00:19:20,241 --> 00:19:22,481 Nah, Dave, you know, it's like you said. 492 00:19:22,551 --> 00:19:25,851 You know, I'm starting to feel something historical here. 493 00:19:25,921 --> 00:19:27,451 - You know? - [GROANING] 494 00:19:27,521 --> 00:19:29,021 I'm starting to feel something, too, man. 495 00:19:29,031 --> 00:19:31,421 Up we go. 496 00:19:31,491 --> 00:19:33,541 No, you know, get comfortable, Dave. 497 00:19:33,561 --> 00:19:35,231 You know, 'cause it's like I said, you know, 498 00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:36,761 trust takes time. 499 00:19:36,831 --> 00:19:38,261 You know? 500 00:19:38,931 --> 00:19:40,991 So tell me about those lakes again. 501 00:19:41,061 --> 00:19:42,511 - You know, and where you grew up. - [GROANING] 502 00:19:42,531 --> 00:19:43,931 I always wondered about. 503 00:19:43,941 --> 00:19:46,411 I know it's Superior, that's the main one, everybody knows. 504 00:19:46,441 --> 00:19:48,971 - Is Ontario a lake? - Yeah. 505 00:19:49,041 --> 00:19:50,411 How far are you from Eight Mile, 506 00:19:50,421 --> 00:19:52,161 where Eminem grew up? You... ? 507 00:19:53,741 --> 00:19:55,301 Oh, man, this is great. 508 00:19:55,321 --> 00:19:57,781 This is like a Sleep Number bed. It's actually very nice. 509 00:20:02,681 --> 00:20:05,461 [GROANS] 510 00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:07,221 Gemma. 511 00:20:07,231 --> 00:20:10,231 Uh, can you get me another bag of peas for my back? 512 00:20:10,241 --> 00:20:11,961 This one's all mushy. 513 00:20:11,971 --> 00:20:14,031 - I'll bring one right up. - Okay. 514 00:20:14,041 --> 00:20:15,621 And could you bring me some aspirin? 515 00:20:17,101 --> 00:20:19,301 - Sure, honey. - Thanks. 516 00:20:19,501 --> 00:20:22,341 And then maybe a snack. Just... 517 00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:24,701 something salty but not crunchy. 518 00:20:24,751 --> 00:20:26,741 Okay, Dave. 519 00:20:26,751 --> 00:20:28,951 [KNOCKING AT DOOR] 520 00:20:31,781 --> 00:20:33,001 Hey. 521 00:20:33,011 --> 00:20:34,311 Hey, Tina. 522 00:20:34,321 --> 00:20:35,921 I just came to check on Dave. 523 00:20:35,941 --> 00:20:37,071 How's his back? 524 00:20:37,081 --> 00:20:38,081 It's killing me. 525 00:20:38,181 --> 00:20:40,401 Aw. 526 00:20:40,441 --> 00:20:41,611 Well, tell him to feel better. 527 00:20:41,621 --> 00:20:44,461 Oh, and I also wanted to bring you a key to our house. 528 00:20:44,561 --> 00:20:46,261 Are you sure it's okay with Calvin? 529 00:20:46,841 --> 00:20:49,191 [BOTH LAUGH] 530 00:20:50,221 --> 00:20:51,921 Boys are stupid. 531 00:20:51,941 --> 00:20:54,821 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --