1
00:00:02,364 --> 00:00:04,014
Dave, slow down.
2
00:00:04,042 --> 00:00:05,062
I'm just excited.
3
00:00:05,396 --> 00:00:08,356
I know, but you're running like
you're about to miss a flight.
4
00:00:08,380 --> 00:00:11,650
Ooh, I have never missed a
flight and I never will.
5
00:00:13,852 --> 00:00:15,962
You are weirdly arrogant about that.
6
00:00:20,325 --> 00:00:21,725
Hey, Calvin.
7
00:00:21,793 --> 00:00:24,763
Hey, Dave. Gemma.
8
00:00:25,134 --> 00:00:27,784
We just wanted to swing by
and drop off one of these.
9
00:00:27,892 --> 00:00:29,312
What's this?
10
00:00:29,338 --> 00:00:31,458
It's an invitation to
our housewarming party.
11
00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:32,990
Yeah, it's gonna be awesome.
12
00:00:33,014 --> 00:00:34,584
I can see, it says it right here.
13
00:00:34,608 --> 00:00:36,218
"It's gonna be awesome."
14
00:00:36,695 --> 00:00:39,985
Yeah, well, uh, it's in all
caps so you know it's true.
15
00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:41,908
We thought a party would be a great way
16
00:00:41,933 --> 00:00:43,293
to get to know some
of our new neighbors.
17
00:00:43,324 --> 00:00:44,724
Yeah, become a part of the community,
18
00:00:44,755 --> 00:00:46,485
but in an awesome way.
19
00:00:47,333 --> 00:00:48,693
Yeah, that's great.
20
00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:50,220
Too bad I can't make it.
21
00:00:50,237 --> 00:00:51,717
Well, you haven't even
looked at when it is.
22
00:00:51,741 --> 00:00:55,051
Eh. Yep, I can't make it.
23
00:00:56,726 --> 00:00:58,086
Why not?
24
00:00:58,114 --> 00:01:00,804
Well, you know, the first
Saturday of every month
25
00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:03,628
is, uh, dart night down
at Ernie's Hot Spot.
26
00:01:03,652 --> 00:01:05,352
Can't you just skip it this one time?
27
00:01:05,376 --> 00:01:06,286
Yeah. It's gonna be a great party.
28
00:01:06,311 --> 00:01:08,581
Gemma, tell him what they used
to call me back in Michigan.
29
00:01:08,729 --> 00:01:11,209
- The Party King of Kalamazoo.
- The...
30
00:01:11,234 --> 00:01:14,744
Okay. I didn't know I was
in the presence of royalty.
31
00:01:15,130 --> 00:01:17,140
Will you tell Tina and the boys?
32
00:01:17,158 --> 00:01:18,378
Sure.
33
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,100
Hey, uh, Calvin.
34
00:01:20,406 --> 00:01:23,186
Don't go down to the
bar and throw darts.
35
00:01:23,211 --> 00:01:26,961
Come to the party and...
and throw down.
36
00:01:29,314 --> 00:01:31,364
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
37
00:01:31,393 --> 00:01:32,333
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
38
00:01:32,363 --> 00:01:36,173
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
39
00:01:36,198 --> 00:01:38,048
Do I have to go to a sleepover?
40
00:01:38,069 --> 00:01:39,569
I want to stay for the party.
41
00:01:39,638 --> 00:01:41,238
Oh, baby, you wouldn't like it.
42
00:01:41,257 --> 00:01:43,107
It's just gonna be a bunch
of boring grown-ups
43
00:01:43,132 --> 00:01:45,412
talking about boring grown-up stuff.
44
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,738
A little help with the beer pong table?
45
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:51,180
Why are you bringing that in here?
46
00:01:51,201 --> 00:01:52,741
Well, it's a party, it's
supposed to be fun.
47
00:01:52,770 --> 00:01:54,760
I know, but it's a housewarming,
48
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:57,171
not some rager that gets
you kicked off campus.
49
00:01:57,202 --> 00:01:58,112
Okay.
50
00:01:58,495 --> 00:01:59,815
That was not my fault.
51
00:01:59,836 --> 00:02:01,496
They told me those goats were trained.
52
00:02:02,510 --> 00:02:03,950
Sweetie, relax.
53
00:02:03,971 --> 00:02:05,941
This is just gonna be
a tasteful evening
54
00:02:05,973 --> 00:02:07,433
of getting to know our new neighbors.
55
00:02:07,463 --> 00:02:10,333
Ugh. But that's boring grown-up stuff.
56
00:02:10,921 --> 00:02:13,191
You're right, Mom. I'll skip this one.
57
00:02:13,778 --> 00:02:15,728
Why are you changing the
plan all of a sudden?
58
00:02:15,753 --> 00:02:17,843
- Is this because of Calvin?
- Calvin?
59
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:19,871
I didn't say anything about Calvin.
You said Calvin.
60
00:02:19,898 --> 00:02:21,988
If anyone's obsessed
with Calvin, it's you.
61
00:02:23,747 --> 00:02:25,597
He told us he already has plans.
62
00:02:25,624 --> 00:02:26,744
I know.
63
00:02:26,770 --> 00:02:28,450
To play darts.
64
00:02:28,466 --> 00:02:31,666
It's like he thinks our
party's gonna be lame.
65
00:02:31,851 --> 00:02:35,431
Why would he think that,
Party King of Kalamazoo?
66
00:02:37,860 --> 00:02:40,240
I don't get it. Every time
I try to be his friend
67
00:02:40,264 --> 00:02:42,214
he throws it back in my face.
68
00:02:42,237 --> 00:02:43,707
You know, we're next-door neighbors.
69
00:02:43,728 --> 00:02:45,388
We are supposed to get along.
70
00:02:45,691 --> 00:02:47,811
Well, instead of throwing
this party for the neighbors
71
00:02:47,838 --> 00:02:50,428
who don't want to come, maybe
you should be throwing it
72
00:02:50,453 --> 00:02:52,493
for the neighbors who do.
73
00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:54,731
I am.
74
00:02:54,956 --> 00:02:57,376
I just hope they tell Calvin about it.
75
00:03:00,338 --> 00:03:03,778
Oh, man, I can't believe you're
really not coming to this party.
76
00:03:03,798 --> 00:03:05,288
And I can't believe that
you want me to miss
77
00:03:05,309 --> 00:03:07,139
dart night at Ernie's.
78
00:03:07,165 --> 00:03:08,535
It's a beautiful tradition.
79
00:03:08,559 --> 00:03:11,479
The only reason you like going
is to hustle people at darts.
80
00:03:11,498 --> 00:03:13,118
It's a beautiful tradition.
81
00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,260
Well, I'm looking forward to the party.
82
00:03:16,277 --> 00:03:18,077
Ooh. I bet they're gonna
have a signature cocktail
83
00:03:18,102 --> 00:03:21,332
with a clever name like,
like, "Gemma and Juice."
84
00:03:21,362 --> 00:03:23,392
Or, or-or,
85
00:03:23,418 --> 00:03:26,928
- uh, "Fuzzy Davel." Yeah?
- (LAUGHS)
86
00:03:27,463 --> 00:03:29,873
Ah, baby, why don't you make
an exception this one time?
87
00:03:29,902 --> 00:03:31,982
Hey, look, I'll two-step with you.
88
00:03:32,006 --> 00:03:33,906
To what? Taylor Swift?
89
00:03:36,236 --> 00:03:37,776
So that's what it is.
90
00:03:37,802 --> 00:03:38,602
You don't want to go
'cause this is gonna
91
00:03:38,627 --> 00:03:40,307
be a white people party.
92
00:03:40,332 --> 00:03:41,712
No, I don't want to go
93
00:03:41,738 --> 00:03:43,668
because I don't want Dave using me
94
00:03:43,686 --> 00:03:45,756
like he's using all of
y'all to legitimize
95
00:03:45,784 --> 00:03:47,794
his lame-ass party.
96
00:03:48,846 --> 00:03:50,716
Come on, Pop. He's not using us.
97
00:03:50,738 --> 00:03:51,798
Y'all don't get it.
98
00:03:51,817 --> 00:03:53,867
See, the Johnsons are
like the pilgrims.
99
00:03:53,895 --> 00:03:57,145
- Uh, uh, no, hang on.
- (ALL GROANING)
100
00:03:57,982 --> 00:04:02,232
Look, they need the natives, i.e. us,
101
00:04:02,860 --> 00:04:04,760
to navigate through the cold winter,
102
00:04:04,785 --> 00:04:07,565
i.e. their corny-ass party.
103
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:10,596
They think that they can
104
00:04:10,621 --> 00:04:13,341
come onto our land, plant their flag
105
00:04:13,375 --> 00:04:15,785
and then claim this
neighborhood as their own.
106
00:04:15,807 --> 00:04:17,307
(LAUGHS) Look at you.
107
00:04:17,331 --> 00:04:19,701
You a perm away from being Al Sharpton.
108
00:04:20,964 --> 00:04:22,994
Come on, boys.
109
00:04:25,260 --> 00:04:27,270
Hey, look, you two. Unlike your father,
110
00:04:27,294 --> 00:04:29,044
we're here to have a good time,
111
00:04:29,072 --> 00:04:31,012
support our new neighbors and show them
112
00:04:31,042 --> 00:04:32,942
what this community is about, okay?
113
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:35,823
Perfect timing, you guys.
We're just getting started.
114
00:04:35,853 --> 00:04:38,683
All right. (CHUCKLES)
115
00:04:38,977 --> 00:04:41,867
♪ All right now ♪
116
00:04:41,893 --> 00:04:45,493
♪ Baby, it's all right now... ♪
117
00:04:45,524 --> 00:04:46,974
Ten minutes, and we out of here.
118
00:04:47,004 --> 00:04:48,964
Yeah.
119
00:04:49,257 --> 00:04:52,687
♪ Baby, it's all right now... ♪
120
00:04:52,854 --> 00:04:55,774
So then, I had a cortisone shot
121
00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,340
in my left hip.
122
00:04:58,695 --> 00:05:01,425
And that didn't do
nothing but make me mad.
123
00:05:02,518 --> 00:05:05,968
Well, that was a long answer for
"What time did you get here?"
124
00:05:07,243 --> 00:05:09,073
Hey, here's your drink, Ma.
125
00:05:09,101 --> 00:05:10,901
Ugh, please let this be strong.
126
00:05:10,930 --> 00:05:12,100
(CHUCKLES)
127
00:05:12,121 --> 00:05:14,071
It's nice to see you, Miss Kim.
128
00:05:14,099 --> 00:05:16,609
You too, Malcolm.
129
00:05:16,633 --> 00:05:18,273
Mm-mm!
130
00:05:18,298 --> 00:05:22,148
Haven't you grown all big and handsome?
131
00:05:23,798 --> 00:05:25,298
Yeah, I'm gonna some more of this.
132
00:05:25,324 --> 00:05:28,084
(LAUGHS) Mom, do not leave me.
133
00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:30,110
Well, you said you
wanted to meet a girl.
134
00:05:32,172 --> 00:05:33,852
Yeah, but not a Golden Girl.
135
00:05:35,700 --> 00:05:37,670
Oh, I love these cocktails, Gemma.
136
00:05:37,694 --> 00:05:39,434
Your name is Johnson,
137
00:05:39,463 --> 00:05:40,943
- Johnsangria.
- (LAUGHS)
138
00:05:40,969 --> 00:05:42,929
It was there the whole time.
139
00:05:43,533 --> 00:05:45,893
It's basically white
wine, pomegranate juice
140
00:05:45,918 --> 00:05:46,838
and fresh fruit.
141
00:05:46,863 --> 00:05:48,683
Ah, and in a mason jar.
142
00:05:48,712 --> 00:05:51,212
Ah, it's like a real-life
Pinterest post.
143
00:05:51,236 --> 00:05:53,326
(LAUGHS): Yes.
144
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,963
Uh, hey, sweetie, can I
grab you for just a second?
145
00:05:55,987 --> 00:05:57,837
Oh, go ahead, I'll just
have some of these, uh,
146
00:05:57,863 --> 00:06:00,023
cut-up veggies you've
labeled "crudité."
147
00:06:00,052 --> 00:06:02,152
(LAUGHS)
148
00:06:02,183 --> 00:06:04,033
Uh, hey, Gemma?
149
00:06:04,647 --> 00:06:06,467
This party's a disaster.
150
00:06:06,487 --> 00:06:08,327
W-Why isn't anyone here?
151
00:06:08,349 --> 00:06:10,939
Sweetie, relax. It's early still.
152
00:06:10,957 --> 00:06:13,747
And Tina told me maybe some
people are on CP time.
153
00:06:15,762 --> 00:06:17,142
What's that?
154
00:06:17,597 --> 00:06:20,757
I don't know. I think it
means cool people time.
155
00:06:24,060 --> 00:06:27,780
Well, how do we let all
the cool people know
156
00:06:27,798 --> 00:06:29,688
that the party's ready to get started?
157
00:06:31,071 --> 00:06:32,431
I got it.
158
00:06:32,463 --> 00:06:35,773
Oh, my... I'm gonna go
put a balloon outside.
159
00:06:39,363 --> 00:06:40,923
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
160
00:06:40,954 --> 00:06:43,294
Cool balloons, Dave.
161
00:06:44,989 --> 00:06:46,889
(ENGINE STARTS)
162
00:06:47,162 --> 00:06:49,482
(LAUGHS)
163
00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:54,488
Yeah, well, you'll be sorry when
all the cool people show up!
164
00:06:58,401 --> 00:07:03,891
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
165
00:07:04,482 --> 00:07:07,112
Just so muscular.
166
00:07:07,686 --> 00:07:09,046
Tell me, Malcolm,
167
00:07:09,068 --> 00:07:11,298
what are you doing for
a job these days?
168
00:07:11,322 --> 00:07:13,622
Actually, I don't have one, Miss Kim.
169
00:07:13,653 --> 00:07:16,613
Well, you can come to my house.
I'll put you to work.
170
00:07:22,198 --> 00:07:24,358
- Hey, uh, uh, Tina?
- Hmm?
171
00:07:24,385 --> 00:07:26,775
I need your help. This party is dying.
172
00:07:26,804 --> 00:07:29,364
No. Miss Kim is dying,
this party is dead.
173
00:07:31,348 --> 00:07:33,618
Well, what can I do to
get this thing going?
174
00:07:34,239 --> 00:07:36,769
Dave, you, you trying to get turnt?
175
00:07:37,766 --> 00:07:40,316
Based on context, yes, I think so.
176
00:07:41,072 --> 00:07:43,212
Okay. All right, Gemma, Marty, Malcolm,
177
00:07:43,244 --> 00:07:44,354
get over here. We're about to
178
00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:45,716
turn this party up.
179
00:07:45,736 --> 00:07:47,686
Uh, but not too much.
180
00:07:47,707 --> 00:07:49,707
I don't want Miss Kim
to feel uncomfortable.
181
00:07:49,729 --> 00:07:52,039
Yeah, I don't think that's possible.
182
00:07:54,192 --> 00:07:56,062
Okay, so how turnt are we talking?
183
00:07:56,092 --> 00:07:58,042
Well, totally turnt, all the way turnt.
184
00:07:58,069 --> 00:07:59,389
Turnt over.
185
00:08:00,248 --> 00:08:01,338
Okay, okay.
186
00:08:01,364 --> 00:08:03,404
Well, I'm gonna order some Roscoe's.
187
00:08:03,434 --> 00:08:05,014
Marty, you get on the music,
188
00:08:05,037 --> 00:08:06,647
Malcolm, you start texting folks.
189
00:08:06,675 --> 00:08:08,255
Oh, good, get some females in here
190
00:08:08,277 --> 00:08:10,117
who didn't used to babysit me.
191
00:08:11,712 --> 00:08:14,372
All right, but, uh, for the record,
192
00:08:14,404 --> 00:08:16,354
I was having a lovely time.
193
00:08:17,759 --> 00:08:18,929
Ernie. Oh!
194
00:08:18,950 --> 00:08:20,690
Give me another round
for the boys, man.
195
00:08:20,715 --> 00:08:22,145
Uh-oh.
196
00:08:22,175 --> 00:08:24,805
If you buying, that means
you lost to them younguns.
197
00:08:24,828 --> 00:08:27,218
Yeah, oh, Teddy got
me on the last throw.
198
00:08:27,242 --> 00:08:29,152
Uh-huh. So why are you smiling, then?
199
00:08:29,183 --> 00:08:30,973
Because the next game is for money,
200
00:08:31,003 --> 00:08:32,363
and I'm gonna start
throwing with my good hand.
201
00:08:32,394 --> 00:08:34,744
(LAUGHS) All right, then.
202
00:08:34,770 --> 00:08:36,150
There you go.
203
00:08:36,169 --> 00:08:38,239
Uh, how you been, Calvin?
204
00:08:38,265 --> 00:08:40,815
Eh, I can't complain.
You know, life is good.
205
00:08:40,838 --> 00:08:42,518
Good enough to finally leave me a tip?
206
00:08:42,541 --> 00:08:44,921
(chuckles) Yeah. Here's a tip:
207
00:08:44,953 --> 00:08:46,543
you're too old for tracksuits.
208
00:08:46,572 --> 00:08:48,792
(LAUGHS) Your wife like it.
209
00:08:48,816 --> 00:08:50,716
- Hey, now... Oh, no, you...
- (LAUGHS)
210
00:08:50,741 --> 00:08:52,511
No, you two-faced like that.
211
00:08:52,545 --> 00:08:54,795
Teddy, hold on. Teddy, where you going?
212
00:08:54,818 --> 00:08:56,168
- (PHONES CHIMING, VIBRATING)
- What's going on?
213
00:08:56,195 --> 00:08:57,805
- What's happening?
- Oh. Looks like
214
00:08:57,828 --> 00:09:00,018
there's a party in the neighborhood
215
00:09:00,038 --> 00:09:06,018
"Free drinks, free food and
dope beats by DJ Party Marty."
216
00:09:06,036 --> 00:09:07,696
Where are you going, Ernie?
217
00:09:07,716 --> 00:09:09,346
(EXHALES) This party sounds fly.
218
00:09:09,371 --> 00:09:12,291
I'm closing up and changing
into my velour tracksuit.
219
00:09:13,323 --> 00:09:14,983
But you still got customers.
220
00:09:15,011 --> 00:09:15,971
Good point.
221
00:09:15,999 --> 00:09:17,569
Everybody, out!
222
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:19,991
Uh, no, no, no. Everybody, stay!
223
00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:21,778
There's a party down on Evergreen,
224
00:09:21,803 --> 00:09:24,393
and the booze there is free.
225
00:09:24,601 --> 00:09:27,341
It's free here, too.
Next round's on me.
226
00:09:27,724 --> 00:09:31,924
In fact, keep that open all night.
227
00:09:32,230 --> 00:09:35,220
Hey, would you let me know
when that get around $50?
228
00:09:36,414 --> 00:09:37,844
TINA: Show me what you got.
229
00:09:37,872 --> 00:09:39,692
Show me... you ain't gonna do nothing.
230
00:09:39,724 --> 00:09:41,774
- Not enough.
- (LAUGHS)
231
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,690
This is amazing. I can't believe
how many people are here.
232
00:09:44,714 --> 00:09:46,044
Oh, I can.
233
00:09:46,068 --> 00:09:48,718
We're the Butlers. That's how we do.
234
00:09:48,736 --> 00:09:50,436
Boom!
235
00:09:50,461 --> 00:09:53,041
Drink up, sucka.
236
00:09:55,258 --> 00:09:57,478
Come on, man. If you don't
get your head in the game,
237
00:09:57,496 --> 00:10:00,776
Miss Kim is gonna start
looking like that. Let's go!
238
00:10:00,797 --> 00:10:02,247
- (CLAPS HANDS)
- Sweetie?
239
00:10:02,267 --> 00:10:04,457
I'm-I'm sorry, don't
you mean Party King?
240
00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:05,448
Hit me, Marty!
241
00:10:05,470 --> 00:10:08,130
(AIR HORN SOUND EFFECT)
242
00:10:08,151 --> 00:10:10,891
(LAUGHS SOFTLY) Don't
you think this party's
243
00:10:10,917 --> 00:10:12,047
getting a little out of hand?
244
00:10:12,072 --> 00:10:14,022
I think you've proven
your point to Calvin.
245
00:10:14,051 --> 00:10:16,251
Oh, this isn't about Calvin.
It's like you said.
246
00:10:16,284 --> 00:10:17,784
This is about meeting our neighbors.
247
00:10:17,808 --> 00:10:19,988
And I've already met
some really great ones.
248
00:10:20,008 --> 00:10:20,818
Who?
249
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:23,327
Well, Craig, Dante, Lil' Hatchet.
250
00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:25,443
"Lil' Hatchet"?
251
00:10:25,930 --> 00:10:27,050
I know.
252
00:10:27,070 --> 00:10:31,380
The name is kind of scary, but
trust me, she's really nice.
253
00:10:34,321 --> 00:10:36,461
In the time you've been
nursing that drink,
254
00:10:36,487 --> 00:10:38,697
I could've gotten five phone numbers.
255
00:10:38,719 --> 00:10:39,989
With your old ass,
256
00:10:40,010 --> 00:10:41,860
one of 'em better be Life Alert.
257
00:10:43,078 --> 00:10:44,938
You see what's happening here, right?
258
00:10:44,959 --> 00:10:47,219
Our community is being chipped away.
259
00:10:47,238 --> 00:10:48,078
Oh, boy.
260
00:10:48,103 --> 00:10:48,993
No, no, no, no.
261
00:10:49,018 --> 00:10:50,308
Now, come on now.
262
00:10:50,334 --> 00:10:52,054
Marvin's Barbecue is now
263
00:10:52,095 --> 00:10:53,175
a coffee shop.
264
00:10:53,502 --> 00:10:54,832
Norm's Hardware
265
00:10:54,860 --> 00:10:56,440
- is a juice bar.
- All right.
266
00:10:56,465 --> 00:11:00,035
And Sondra's Beauty Parlor
is a marijuana dispensary.
267
00:11:00,084 --> 00:11:01,694
She always sold weed.
268
00:11:01,721 --> 00:11:03,271
It's just legal now.
269
00:11:03,581 --> 00:11:05,021
That is true.
270
00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,385
(CHUCKLES)
271
00:11:06,634 --> 00:11:08,854
Well, no matter how much
this neighborhood changes,
272
00:11:08,882 --> 00:11:09,882
my auto shop
273
00:11:09,909 --> 00:11:11,989
and this fine drinking establishment
274
00:11:12,010 --> 00:11:13,400
will always be here.
275
00:11:13,417 --> 00:11:14,537
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
276
00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:16,209
- Yeah, yeah.
- To you and me, man.
277
00:11:16,283 --> 00:11:18,253
The last of the Mohicans.
278
00:11:18,276 --> 00:11:20,976
(CHUCKLES)
279
00:11:23,706 --> 00:11:25,556
Why you not raising your beer?
280
00:11:26,113 --> 00:11:28,253
Look, Calvin, I ain't gonna lie to you.
281
00:11:28,281 --> 00:11:29,891
I've been getting a lot of calls
282
00:11:29,919 --> 00:11:31,719
from people wanting to buy this place.
283
00:11:31,741 --> 00:11:32,881
What?
284
00:11:32,911 --> 00:11:34,091
How much?
285
00:11:34,122 --> 00:11:35,962
Enough to retire to Méjico.
286
00:11:35,991 --> 00:11:38,261
Which is Spanish for "I'm rich there!"
287
00:11:40,063 --> 00:11:41,723
Come on, man.
288
00:11:41,747 --> 00:11:44,077
Think about all the memories we had.
289
00:11:44,567 --> 00:11:45,727
You know,
290
00:11:45,746 --> 00:11:46,816
it was in that booth right there
291
00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:48,746
- that you met your wife.
- (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
292
00:11:48,772 --> 00:11:51,822
And then that booth right there
where you proposed to her.
293
00:11:51,917 --> 00:11:53,187
And then that booth
294
00:11:53,208 --> 00:11:54,588
where she caught you cheating.
295
00:11:54,615 --> 00:11:56,025
Yeah.
296
00:11:56,053 --> 00:11:57,663
Those were good times.
297
00:11:57,922 --> 00:11:59,382
Exactly.
298
00:11:59,413 --> 00:12:01,203
That's why you can't sell this place.
299
00:12:01,233 --> 00:12:03,043
(SIGHS) What can I say?
300
00:12:03,071 --> 00:12:04,631
I love the neighborhood.
301
00:12:04,662 --> 00:12:07,282
Pero I love Cancún más.
302
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:09,177
Fine.
303
00:12:09,199 --> 00:12:10,469
You want to go to the party?
304
00:12:10,490 --> 00:12:12,490
Go ahead. Be a sellout.
305
00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:15,134
Hey, hey, hold up, hold up!
You forgot to pay your tab.
306
00:12:15,158 --> 00:12:16,398
No, I didn't.
307
00:12:16,420 --> 00:12:18,490
I'm about to report that card stolen.
308
00:12:20,869 --> 00:12:23,359
♪ Go to work, that girl
go to work, work ♪
309
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:26,106
♪ Girl, go to work, that girl
go to work, hey, hey... ♪
310
00:12:26,127 --> 00:12:27,817
- Hey.
- Hey.
311
00:12:27,836 --> 00:12:29,036
We finally meet.
312
00:12:29,065 --> 00:12:30,395
- I've been trying totalk to you,
- (CHUCKLES)
313
00:12:30,423 --> 00:12:32,183
but you've been busy with
your girlfriend over there.
314
00:12:32,237 --> 00:12:34,167
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
315
00:12:40,328 --> 00:12:42,678
You know, she used to change my diaper.
316
00:12:42,699 --> 00:12:44,339
Now she wants me to get in hers.
317
00:12:44,365 --> 00:12:45,585
(LAUGHS)
318
00:12:45,858 --> 00:12:47,058
I'm Lisa.
319
00:12:47,082 --> 00:12:48,472
Hey, Lisa. I'm Malcolm.
320
00:12:48,502 --> 00:12:50,182
Oh, so this is your party.
321
00:12:50,212 --> 00:12:51,502
Chris forwarded me the invite.
322
00:12:51,541 --> 00:12:53,121
Your house is so nice.
323
00:12:53,163 --> 00:12:55,253
- You know, actually, I-I...
- It's so cool to meet a guy
324
00:12:55,281 --> 00:12:57,361
who doesn't live with
his parents for once.
325
00:12:57,386 --> 00:12:59,156
(CHUCKLES) I know, right?
326
00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:00,458
(CHUCKLES)
327
00:13:00,483 --> 00:13:02,163
Hey, Malcolm, this is amazing.
328
00:13:02,189 --> 00:13:04,519
Someone turned my room
into a VIP lounge.
329
00:13:04,539 --> 00:13:05,919
I couldn't even get in.
330
00:13:05,939 --> 00:13:06,969
(CHUCKLES)
331
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:08,377
Does he live here, too?
332
00:13:08,404 --> 00:13:10,654
Yes. Every crew's got
to have a white guy
333
00:13:10,681 --> 00:13:12,391
that they can do this to.
334
00:13:12,763 --> 00:13:14,443
Hey, yo, Dave!
335
00:13:18,657 --> 00:13:21,427
Listen up, party people!
336
00:13:21,695 --> 00:13:23,505
Big Mike's Tattoo Parlor
is open for business
337
00:13:23,533 --> 00:13:26,423
in the guest bathroom. He
specializes in cover-ups
338
00:13:26,454 --> 00:13:28,094
for all of your failed relationships.
339
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,360
- (CHUCKLES)
- (GIGGLING)
340
00:13:30,378 --> 00:13:32,168
Ooh, hey, can I say something?
341
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:34,976
Uh, he-hey, everyone.
342
00:13:35,296 --> 00:13:38,926
I just want to thank you all
for coming out tonight and...
343
00:13:39,181 --> 00:13:41,311
w-welcoming us to the neighborhood.
344
00:13:41,461 --> 00:13:44,411
(WHOOPS) Dave from the "D"!
345
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:46,600
Now let's keep this party going.
346
00:13:46,619 --> 00:13:49,619
What time is it? CP time!
347
00:13:54,418 --> 00:13:57,108
(SPEAKING QUIETLY)
348
00:14:00,645 --> 00:14:02,395
No.
349
00:14:05,275 --> 00:14:07,055
I'm-I'm so sorry about that.
350
00:14:07,082 --> 00:14:10,482
Uh, I was led to believe that
that meant something else.
351
00:14:14,192 --> 00:14:15,852
Hey, big man.
352
00:14:16,365 --> 00:14:17,535
Who are you?
353
00:14:17,556 --> 00:14:18,626
The valet.
354
00:14:18,648 --> 00:14:20,768
It's 20 bucks up front.
355
00:14:20,795 --> 00:14:22,075
How long you gonna be?
356
00:14:23,109 --> 00:14:24,849
The rest of my damn life.
357
00:14:24,869 --> 00:14:27,449
Man, get out of my driveway.
358
00:14:28,246 --> 00:14:29,776
Oh, hey! Calvin!
359
00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:33,266
Guess the balloons worked!
360
00:14:35,906 --> 00:14:39,176
♪ ♪
361
00:14:40,821 --> 00:14:43,331
I'm just gonna take these from you.
362
00:14:47,503 --> 00:14:49,043
Oh, no, no, no. Please keep making out.
363
00:14:49,070 --> 00:14:50,760
You look very much in love.
364
00:14:51,035 --> 00:14:54,205
Ooh, yeah. Hey, hey!
365
00:14:54,229 --> 00:14:56,299
Hey, girl, what you in
here doing cleaning up?
366
00:14:56,323 --> 00:14:57,513
This party ain't over.
367
00:14:57,538 --> 00:14:58,868
- No, it needs to be over now.
- Mm.
368
00:14:58,888 --> 00:15:01,258
I just saw somebody
wearing my wedding dress.
369
00:15:01,841 --> 00:15:03,721
Well, you and Dave seem happy.
370
00:15:03,749 --> 00:15:05,159
You ain't gonna need it anymore.
371
00:15:05,178 --> 00:15:06,928
(SIGHS)
372
00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:09,162
How do I shut this down?
373
00:15:09,193 --> 00:15:11,993
Do I hide the booze and
tell everyone we ran out?
374
00:15:12,106 --> 00:15:14,896
You know that burned-down
house on the corner of 22nd?
375
00:15:14,925 --> 00:15:16,235
Yeah, they hid the booze, too.
376
00:15:16,264 --> 00:15:19,114
(SIGHS) What can I do?
377
00:15:19,145 --> 00:15:21,075
- Please, Tina, I'm desperate.
- (SIGHS)
378
00:15:21,102 --> 00:15:24,462
Well, I do know one person that
will shut this party down.
379
00:15:24,495 --> 00:15:25,455
Calvin?
380
00:15:25,479 --> 00:15:28,659
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, I'd hate to do that to Dave.
381
00:15:33,770 --> 00:15:35,940
Oh, hey, Lil' Hatchet!
382
00:15:40,110 --> 00:15:42,390
- Do it. Do it now.
- I'm doing it.
383
00:15:42,411 --> 00:15:44,061
I'm doing it.
384
00:15:44,090 --> 00:15:46,180
♪ ♪
385
00:15:46,198 --> 00:15:47,638
All right!
386
00:15:47,662 --> 00:15:49,192
Party's over, people!
387
00:15:49,224 --> 00:15:51,584
If your last name not
Butler or Johnson,
388
00:15:51,607 --> 00:15:53,207
you got to go home!
389
00:15:53,449 --> 00:15:55,919
♪ Let me see you twerk... ♪
390
00:15:55,944 --> 00:15:58,484
I'm always surprised on how
many people live around here
391
00:15:58,510 --> 00:16:00,510
last name Butler or Johnson.
392
00:16:00,813 --> 00:16:02,353
Marty, turn it off.
393
00:16:02,380 --> 00:16:04,300
Everybody, come on, let's go!
394
00:16:04,316 --> 00:16:05,836
- Let's go! It's time to go now.
- (MUSIC STOPS)
395
00:16:05,861 --> 00:16:07,231
I'm not playing around here.
396
00:16:07,261 --> 00:16:08,621
Joe, what are you doing here?
397
00:16:08,653 --> 00:16:10,723
You know you on probation.
398
00:16:11,750 --> 00:16:13,950
And, Frank, you a pastor. Give me that.
399
00:16:14,750 --> 00:16:16,810
And who watching your kids, Dana?
400
00:16:16,835 --> 00:16:18,525
Huh? You just out here
to party, like...
401
00:16:18,548 --> 00:16:19,788
Oh, there they are right there.
402
00:16:19,807 --> 00:16:21,787
Hey. Hey, little man!
403
00:16:22,391 --> 00:16:24,411
Oh, my God, it's working.
404
00:16:24,443 --> 00:16:27,823
Now if only he could clear
out the garage like this.
405
00:16:29,469 --> 00:16:30,739
Can I walk you home?
406
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:31,660
I'd like that.
407
00:16:31,683 --> 00:16:33,183
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
408
00:16:33,287 --> 00:16:34,317
KIM: Hey.
409
00:16:34,344 --> 00:16:35,544
Where you going with my man?
410
00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:36,627
Yep. Better go.
411
00:16:36,852 --> 00:16:38,542
Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
412
00:16:38,583 --> 00:16:39,713
Where's everybody going?
413
00:16:39,741 --> 00:16:41,481
I finally got into the VIP room.
414
00:16:42,294 --> 00:16:43,554
Party's over, Dave.
415
00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:44,705
I'm shutting you down.
416
00:16:44,726 --> 00:16:45,996
What?
417
00:16:46,196 --> 00:16:47,896
What do you mean you're
shutting me down?
418
00:16:48,324 --> 00:16:51,444
Who are you to come into our
home and shut down our party?
419
00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:52,980
Ask your wife.
420
00:16:53,001 --> 00:16:54,871
She begged me to do it.
421
00:16:55,128 --> 00:16:57,008
What? Gemma,
422
00:16:57,027 --> 00:16:58,357
- how could you...
- Because there's a cockfight
423
00:16:58,384 --> 00:17:00,164
going on in our backyard.
424
00:17:01,141 --> 00:17:02,971
Oh. Oh, Tito and them here?
425
00:17:03,813 --> 00:17:05,623
Shoot, I'm doing you a favor.
426
00:17:05,655 --> 00:17:08,125
Okay, you know what, don't
act like some kind of hero.
427
00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:09,953
You know you're enjoying this.
The only reason you want
428
00:17:09,979 --> 00:17:12,449
this party to be over is
because you don't like me.
429
00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:14,903
Who says you can't do
things for two reasons?
430
00:17:15,517 --> 00:17:17,387
What is your problem, Calvin?
431
00:17:17,538 --> 00:17:19,738
Why don't you like me?
Everyone else here does.
432
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:21,800
- (SCOFFS) Says you.
- Okay, fine.
433
00:17:21,823 --> 00:17:24,203
You know what, let's vote. Show
of hands, who here likes me?
434
00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:27,251
Oh... You just gave them
free liquor and chicken.
435
00:17:27,283 --> 00:17:28,323
Of course they like you.
436
00:17:28,504 --> 00:17:29,934
Come on. Everybody,
437
00:17:29,964 --> 00:17:31,954
let's wrap this pilgrim party up.
Let's go now.
438
00:17:31,979 --> 00:17:34,249
Okay, no, no, no. We're not,
we're not wrapping anything up.
439
00:17:34,275 --> 00:17:36,735
You and I are gonna settle
this right now, man-to-man.
440
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:38,976
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
441
00:17:39,002 --> 00:17:41,692
Oh. Okay, big man.
442
00:17:41,718 --> 00:17:43,158
What you got to say?
443
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:45,420
Calvin, all I've done
since I've moved in here
444
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,130
was try to be a good neighbor.
445
00:17:47,155 --> 00:17:48,765
I say hi, I invite you to things,
446
00:17:48,791 --> 00:17:50,971
and all you do is reject me.
447
00:17:50,996 --> 00:17:52,496
How many times I got to tell you?
448
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:54,890
I'm not doing an escape room with you.
449
00:17:56,625 --> 00:17:59,345
I'm just saying, you're
missing out on a lot of fun.
450
00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:03,447
I don't want to be a part of
your white folk nonsense.
451
00:18:03,784 --> 00:18:05,394
There it is. The truth comes out.
452
00:18:05,423 --> 00:18:06,913
We're the first white
people to move here,
453
00:18:06,944 --> 00:18:08,364
and suddenly, we're the problem.
454
00:18:08,393 --> 00:18:10,143
You know what, man? I don't think so.
455
00:18:10,167 --> 00:18:12,067
Maybe the problem's you
because you're a jerk.
456
00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:13,750
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
457
00:18:14,381 --> 00:18:17,811
Really? Really? We
oohing at "jerk" now?
458
00:18:18,185 --> 00:18:20,195
Come on, y'all, we more hood than that.
459
00:18:20,628 --> 00:18:22,198
And for your information,
460
00:18:22,219 --> 00:18:24,229
you're not the first white
people to live here.
461
00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:27,371
Back in the day, this whole
neighborhood was white.
462
00:18:27,651 --> 00:18:29,781
But then my grandparents moved in,
463
00:18:29,810 --> 00:18:33,450
and all they heard was, "There
goes the neighborhood."
464
00:18:33,951 --> 00:18:35,141
And soon,
465
00:18:35,170 --> 00:18:37,280
all of the white people moved away,
466
00:18:37,301 --> 00:18:39,871
because they didn't want to
live next to black people.
467
00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:41,821
Okay, but that's not me.
468
00:18:41,850 --> 00:18:43,540
I want to live here.
469
00:18:43,558 --> 00:18:45,868
Sure, now you do.
470
00:18:46,243 --> 00:18:49,313
See, but when y'all left,
the community suffered,
471
00:18:49,576 --> 00:18:52,416
and-and we, we worked
hard to restore it.
472
00:18:52,445 --> 00:18:53,995
And now, you want to come back
473
00:18:54,022 --> 00:18:55,742
into our neighborhood and
reclaim it as your own.
474
00:18:55,772 --> 00:18:58,792
Okay, I am not-I am not
trying to reclaim anything.
475
00:18:59,603 --> 00:19:02,613
And I'm sorry that your family
had to go through that.
476
00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:07,110
It is wrong to make
anyone feel unwelcome
477
00:19:07,135 --> 00:19:09,065
in their own neighborhood.
478
00:19:09,134 --> 00:19:11,264
But isn't that kind of
what you're doing to me?
479
00:19:13,166 --> 00:19:15,316
(AIR HORN SOUND EFFECT)
480
00:19:15,915 --> 00:19:17,235
Oops. Uh, that's my bad.
481
00:19:17,260 --> 00:19:18,990
My finger slipped. (CHUCKLES)
482
00:19:19,012 --> 00:19:20,692
All right, that's it.
483
00:19:20,718 --> 00:19:22,998
Everybody, out.
484
00:19:23,624 --> 00:19:26,244
Oh, is this where the party's at?
485
00:19:26,267 --> 00:19:27,527
I saw the balloons.
486
00:19:27,548 --> 00:19:30,668
Ooh, crudité. Mm.
487
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:36,560
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
488
00:19:37,822 --> 00:19:40,362
Oh, hey, Gemma, good news.
489
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,690
I found your veil.
490
00:19:47,184 --> 00:19:48,574
What are you doing here?
491
00:19:48,599 --> 00:19:50,069
Oh, nothing.
492
00:19:50,368 --> 00:19:52,878
Look, uh, just thought about
what you said earlier,
493
00:19:52,898 --> 00:19:55,888
and, uh, brought you this.
494
00:19:59,987 --> 00:20:01,747
Trash bags?
495
00:20:01,772 --> 00:20:05,062
I mean, big party, you know, big mess.
496
00:20:07,234 --> 00:20:09,664
It was kind of a big party, wasn't it?
497
00:20:10,783 --> 00:20:13,243
I mean, I wouldn't call you
the Party King of Pasadena,
498
00:20:13,275 --> 00:20:15,645
but it was a'ight.
499
00:20:16,153 --> 00:20:17,643
Well, thank you.
500
00:20:17,672 --> 00:20:19,672
You're welcome.
501
00:20:20,581 --> 00:20:21,951
You hear what I said?
502
00:20:22,754 --> 00:20:24,274
I said you're welcome.
503
00:20:24,923 --> 00:20:26,453
Yeah, I heard you.
504
00:20:26,924 --> 00:20:28,354
I don't think you did.
505
00:20:28,382 --> 00:20:30,732
You are welcome.
506
00:20:31,957 --> 00:20:34,427
O-kay.
507
00:20:38,113 --> 00:20:39,913
Ah, hell, I tried. (MUMBLES)
508
00:20:40,609 --> 00:20:42,769
Why do you keep saying
"You're welcome..."
509
00:20:43,891 --> 00:20:45,161
I get it.
510
00:20:45,203 --> 00:20:48,273
I'm welcome, like, like,
in the neighborhood.
511
00:20:48,299 --> 00:20:50,399
Too late! I changed my mind.