1
00:00:01,923 --> 00:00:03,553
All right,
so we replaced your pads,
2
00:00:03,625 --> 00:00:06,355
resurfaced your rotors,
and adjusted your calipers.
3
00:00:06,428 --> 00:00:09,468
Great. Please tell me that
means you fixed my brakes.
4
00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:12,961
(chuckles) Well, let's just say
I don't expect your car
5
00:00:13,035 --> 00:00:13,965
on my lawn again.
6
00:00:14,036 --> 00:00:15,436
(chuckles)
7
00:00:15,504 --> 00:00:17,974
You can go and settle this up
with Tina in the office.
8
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:19,710
Your car's in the back
getting washed.
9
00:00:19,775 --> 00:00:22,105
Ooh, your shop
is so fancy.
10
00:00:22,177 --> 00:00:24,647
Well, you also get a
complimentary air freshener.
11
00:00:24,713 --> 00:00:27,043
Pine tree,
cinnamon vanilla,
12
00:00:27,115 --> 00:00:30,285
or my personal favorite,
"New Calvin Smell."
13
00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:34,060
Is that like
"new car smell"?
14
00:00:34,122 --> 00:00:37,052
Yeah, but with notes
of cocoa butter and swagger.
15
00:00:37,125 --> 00:00:38,395
(both chuckle)
16
00:00:40,128 --> 00:00:42,928
Ooh, I've never seen
you at work before.
17
00:00:42,998 --> 00:00:45,268
Look at you,
Mrs. Businesswoman.
18
00:00:45,333 --> 00:00:47,803
Balancing the books,
invoicing suppliers...
19
00:00:47,869 --> 00:00:49,269
Girl, I'm on Facebook.
20
00:00:51,506 --> 00:00:53,676
My cousin just changed
her relationship status
21
00:00:53,742 --> 00:00:56,402
to "it's complicated,"
and we know what that means.
22
00:00:56,478 --> 00:00:59,018
Here comes the Bible quotes
and the bikini pictures.
23
00:00:59,081 --> 00:01:01,781
(chuckles) Calvin told
me to give you this.
24
00:01:01,850 --> 00:01:03,750
Oh, no, no.
Don't be ridiculous.
25
00:01:03,819 --> 00:01:05,259
We're not charging you.
26
00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:07,830
What are you talking
about? It's $300.
27
00:01:07,889 --> 00:01:12,029
Calvin rotored my caterpillars
and padded my surfaces.
28
00:01:13,095 --> 00:01:14,425
Gemma, we're friends, okay?
29
00:01:14,496 --> 00:01:15,926
Don't worry about it.
30
00:01:15,997 --> 00:01:18,197
No. Really, Tina,
I appreciate the thought,
31
00:01:18,266 --> 00:01:19,436
but I have to pay you.
32
00:01:19,501 --> 00:01:20,661
Gemma Johnson,
33
00:01:20,735 --> 00:01:22,435
I just called you a friend.
34
00:01:22,504 --> 00:01:24,204
And friends do things
for each other,
35
00:01:24,272 --> 00:01:27,532
so don't insult me when I'm
trying to show you some love.
36
00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:29,849
Are you sure?
37
00:01:29,911 --> 00:01:32,311
Girl, don't make me cut
your brake lines.
38
00:01:32,380 --> 00:01:35,020
Have you actually
ever done that?
39
00:01:36,118 --> 00:01:38,218
No.
40
00:01:39,354 --> 00:01:41,824
Well, in that case, thank you.
41
00:01:41,890 --> 00:01:43,360
You're welcome.
42
00:01:43,425 --> 00:01:45,725
Now come help me find
a Bible verse that says
43
00:01:45,794 --> 00:01:46,894
"Stick to a one-piece."
44
00:01:46,962 --> 00:01:48,892
(speaks indistinctly)
45
00:01:50,432 --> 00:01:51,662
Hey, Calvin.
46
00:01:51,733 --> 00:01:53,893
Oh. Thanks for taking
care of our car.
47
00:01:53,969 --> 00:01:55,069
Not a problem, Dave.
48
00:01:55,137 --> 00:01:56,667
You guys did a great job.
49
00:01:56,738 --> 00:01:58,178
We try.
50
00:01:58,240 --> 00:01:59,880
Oh, and thanks so much
for comping the bill.
51
00:01:59,941 --> 00:02:02,301
Oh, what's that, now?
52
00:02:02,377 --> 00:02:04,577
You know how you hooked us up
with the car.
53
00:02:04,646 --> 00:02:05,876
Who knew you were so generous?
54
00:02:05,947 --> 00:02:08,747
Not me.
55
00:02:08,817 --> 00:02:10,387
Well, I owe you one.
56
00:02:10,452 --> 00:02:12,882
You owe me a lot more than one.
57
00:02:12,954 --> 00:02:14,254
What's that, buddy?
58
00:02:14,322 --> 00:02:16,082
Oh, nothing, buddy.
59
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:21,330
Tina!
60
00:02:21,396 --> 00:02:23,496
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
61
00:02:23,565 --> 00:02:24,495
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
62
00:02:28,037 --> 00:02:30,577
Tina! Tina!
63
00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:34,449
Ooh, Dad seems
pissed. We should go.
64
00:02:34,510 --> 00:02:37,920
Yeah, Dad seems pissed.
We should stay.
65
00:02:37,980 --> 00:02:39,280
What are you yelling about?
66
00:02:39,348 --> 00:02:42,588
Is Leon selling meat out
of the back of his van again?
67
00:02:42,651 --> 00:02:45,611
Did you tell the Johnsons they
didn't have to pay their bill?
68
00:02:45,688 --> 00:02:46,718
Yeah. Why?
69
00:02:46,789 --> 00:02:48,289
Why?
70
00:02:48,357 --> 00:02:51,297
Because 300 bucks
is a lot of money.
71
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,830
That's like 60 rib eyes.
72
00:02:53,896 --> 00:02:55,966
Wait, so those steaks
are five bucks apiece?
73
00:02:56,031 --> 00:02:57,831
Yeah, Pop, that's
not real meat.
74
00:03:00,803 --> 00:03:02,263
Gemma's my friend.
75
00:03:02,338 --> 00:03:03,608
It's not like we're
hurting for money.
76
00:03:03,672 --> 00:03:05,632
It's not about the money.
77
00:03:05,708 --> 00:03:07,748
It's about that
you didn't ask me.
78
00:03:09,745 --> 00:03:11,145
Why do I have to ask you?
79
00:03:11,213 --> 00:03:12,743
Because I'm the boss.
80
00:03:14,049 --> 00:03:16,519
Yep, Mom is pissed.
We should go.
81
00:03:17,653 --> 00:03:19,853
Yeah.
This time I agree.
82
00:03:21,390 --> 00:03:24,030
Calvin, I didn't realize
I had a boss.
83
00:03:24,093 --> 00:03:25,793
I thought I had
a business partner.
84
00:03:25,861 --> 00:03:27,421
Babe, you know
what I'm saying.
85
00:03:27,496 --> 00:03:29,626
All right? It, it's
a division of labor.
86
00:03:29,698 --> 00:03:31,168
Mm-hmm.
I'm the boss at the shop.
87
00:03:31,233 --> 00:03:33,533
You're the boss
here at home.
88
00:03:33,602 --> 00:03:36,162
(laughs)
89
00:03:36,238 --> 00:03:38,178
(both laughing)
90
00:03:44,780 --> 00:03:46,380
Wha-- Why-why
are we laughing?
91
00:03:46,448 --> 00:03:47,888
Oh...
92
00:03:47,950 --> 00:03:50,560
'Cause you thought
I would buy that nonsense.
93
00:03:52,521 --> 00:03:58,291
Calvin Butler, love of my life,
partner at home and at work...
94
00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:00,630
I made a decision
95
00:04:00,696 --> 00:04:04,066
and I expect for you
to respect that.
96
00:04:04,133 --> 00:04:05,833
(knocking on door)
97
00:04:07,736 --> 00:04:09,536
Okay, so was that
a "I love you" kiss
98
00:04:09,605 --> 00:04:11,505
or a "you need
to let this go" kiss?
99
00:04:11,574 --> 00:04:13,234
We'll go with both.
100
00:04:14,610 --> 00:04:15,550
Hey, guys.
101
00:04:15,611 --> 00:04:17,071
Hi.
Hey.
102
00:04:17,146 --> 00:04:19,016
We just wanted to stop by
and say thanks again
103
00:04:19,081 --> 00:04:21,141
for taking such good care
of us down at the shop.
104
00:04:21,217 --> 00:04:23,187
Aw, don't be ridiculous.
105
00:04:23,252 --> 00:04:24,982
It's our pleasure.
Right, Calvin?
106
00:04:27,323 --> 00:04:28,853
300%.
107
00:04:31,093 --> 00:04:33,193
But, you know, we
talked about it,
108
00:04:33,262 --> 00:04:35,562
and it just feels wrong
to let you do it for free.
109
00:04:35,631 --> 00:04:36,891
(quietly):
All right.
110
00:04:36,966 --> 00:04:41,036
Which is why we want to have you
over for dinner tomorrow.
111
00:04:43,339 --> 00:04:46,179
Well, that's
wonderful.
112
00:04:46,242 --> 00:04:48,202
We'll bring the wine.
You want to pick one out?
113
00:04:48,277 --> 00:04:51,277
Ooh, I don't know. We
might have to taste it first.
114
00:04:51,347 --> 00:04:53,247
I might need to taste it twice.
115
00:04:53,315 --> 00:04:55,945
(chuckling)
116
00:04:56,018 --> 00:04:57,018
(Calvin chuckles)
117
00:04:58,621 --> 00:05:00,011
I want that money, Dave.
118
00:05:02,858 --> 00:05:03,928
What?
119
00:05:03,993 --> 00:05:06,253
And don't tell our wives.
120
00:05:06,328 --> 00:05:07,628
I tell Gemma everything.
121
00:05:07,696 --> 00:05:09,466
Even when she asks me not to.
122
00:05:09,531 --> 00:05:13,131
Well, on behalf of both of us,
keep your mouth shut.
123
00:05:15,838 --> 00:05:18,208
So, if the chicken
had six eggs,
124
00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:19,874
and the farmer
took away five,
125
00:05:19,942 --> 00:05:21,642
what did the
chicken have left?
126
00:05:21,710 --> 00:05:24,820
Where do chicken babies
come from?
127
00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:30,090
Oh. Well, that's
an interesting question.
128
00:05:30,152 --> 00:05:32,382
You see, instead of genitals...
129
00:05:34,390 --> 00:05:40,460
...hens and roosters have a
special hole called a cloaca...
130
00:05:40,529 --> 00:05:44,799
that's used for both going to
the bathroom and making babies.
131
00:05:44,867 --> 00:05:46,937
If you don't know, just say so.
132
00:05:51,307 --> 00:05:54,747
Did he just trick me
into finishing his homework?
133
00:05:58,347 --> 00:05:59,417
Hey, Gemma.
134
00:05:59,481 --> 00:06:00,981
Hey, sweetie.
135
00:06:01,050 --> 00:06:03,950
Uh, I was thinking.
136
00:06:04,019 --> 00:06:06,019
You know, maybe we pay Calvin
137
00:06:06,088 --> 00:06:07,588
for the work
that he did on the car.
138
00:06:07,656 --> 00:06:08,926
I asked,
139
00:06:08,991 --> 00:06:10,621
but Tina threatened
to cut my brake lines.
140
00:06:12,061 --> 00:06:13,921
I think, playfully.
141
00:06:16,365 --> 00:06:18,995
I know, it's just--
it's the principle of the thing.
142
00:06:19,068 --> 00:06:20,668
You know, where I come from,
a man gets paid
143
00:06:20,736 --> 00:06:22,136
for the work that he does.
144
00:06:22,204 --> 00:06:25,474
First of all, we come
from the same place.
145
00:06:27,009 --> 00:06:29,279
(chuckles)
Uh, hello.
146
00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:32,845
East Kalamazoo is an entirely
different world
147
00:06:32,915 --> 00:06:36,115
from Hickory Corners.
148
00:06:36,185 --> 00:06:38,215
And second, it would be rude.
149
00:06:38,287 --> 00:06:40,617
Tina explicitly said she didn't
want us to pay.
150
00:06:40,689 --> 00:06:42,059
I know, but people say things
151
00:06:42,124 --> 00:06:43,484
that they don't mean
all the time.
152
00:06:43,559 --> 00:06:46,029
Like, when I floated the idea of
becoming an amateur beekeeper,
153
00:06:46,095 --> 00:06:48,365
and you told me to do
what I want.
154
00:06:48,430 --> 00:06:50,530
You're right.
I definitely didn't mean that.
155
00:06:51,967 --> 00:06:52,967
See?
156
00:06:53,035 --> 00:06:54,635
And how many times
did you get stung?
157
00:06:56,538 --> 00:06:59,038
We still don't know
that those were my bees.
158
00:07:00,709 --> 00:07:03,579
So we agree.
We're not paying them, right?
159
00:07:03,645 --> 00:07:04,975
(sighs)
160
00:07:05,047 --> 00:07:06,077
Okay.
161
00:07:06,148 --> 00:07:08,218
Good. Now I'm gonna
go tuck in Grover,
162
00:07:08,283 --> 00:07:10,083
before he starts looking
for his cloaca.
163
00:07:11,954 --> 00:07:15,154
Yeah, Malcolm and Marty.
164
00:07:15,224 --> 00:07:18,324
What do the Butler boys got
crackalackin' tonight?
165
00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:20,654
Well, Marty and I are checking
out this new dating app.
166
00:07:20,729 --> 00:07:23,729
You would not believe all
the fine women on here.
167
00:07:23,799 --> 00:07:24,939
Ooh-ooh!
168
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,010
Excuse me.
Are these seats taken?
169
00:07:28,070 --> 00:07:29,910
Yeah, I think there was
some guy here or something.
170
00:07:31,473 --> 00:07:35,073
What? What?
171
00:07:35,144 --> 00:07:37,514
What the hell is
wrong with you two?
172
00:07:38,814 --> 00:07:40,674
You online shopping when
173
00:07:40,749 --> 00:07:43,249
you already in the mall.
174
00:07:43,318 --> 00:07:44,758
Look, the game has
changed, Ernie.
175
00:07:44,820 --> 00:07:47,260
We would have to have a whole
conversation with those girls
176
00:07:47,322 --> 00:07:48,882
to find out if
we were a match.
177
00:07:48,924 --> 00:07:50,894
Yeah, but with the app,
we already know,
178
00:07:50,959 --> 00:07:52,599
and we just swipe right.
Mmm.
179
00:07:52,661 --> 00:07:55,591
Well, back in my day, if
a woman didn't like you,
180
00:07:55,664 --> 00:07:57,694
she literally
swiped you away.
181
00:07:57,766 --> 00:08:00,936
Once, I got swiped off a boat.
182
00:08:01,003 --> 00:08:04,033
(phone buzzes and dings)
Oh! I got my first match.
183
00:08:04,106 --> 00:08:06,536
Oh, she is fine.
She likes baseball,
184
00:08:06,608 --> 00:08:09,148
she's into poetry,
and her name is Ebony.
185
00:08:09,211 --> 00:08:10,241
(phone buzzes and beeps)
186
00:08:10,312 --> 00:08:12,872
Ha-ha! Houston,
we have liftoff.
187
00:08:12,948 --> 00:08:13,978
I got a match, too.
188
00:08:14,049 --> 00:08:17,049
Yeah, her name
is... Ebony.
189
00:08:21,490 --> 00:08:22,490
Oh...
190
00:08:22,558 --> 00:08:24,558
let the games begin.
191
00:08:28,297 --> 00:08:30,797
Dave.
192
00:08:30,866 --> 00:08:33,096
Dave.
Where are you?
193
00:08:33,168 --> 00:08:34,838
I'm right here.
What?
(muttering)
194
00:08:39,908 --> 00:08:41,248
Why you scaring me
like that?
195
00:08:41,310 --> 00:08:42,750
Sorry. Sorry.
196
00:08:42,811 --> 00:08:44,571
I'm on the down-low.
197
00:08:47,649 --> 00:08:49,949
Just so you know,
198
00:08:50,018 --> 00:08:52,318
in this neighborhood, that
doesn't mean what you think.
199
00:08:54,223 --> 00:08:55,653
Whatever. Look...
200
00:08:55,724 --> 00:08:57,284
Got your money.
Great.
201
00:08:57,359 --> 00:08:58,759
But I can't give
it to you.
202
00:08:58,827 --> 00:09:00,757
Why not?
203
00:09:00,829 --> 00:09:03,269
Because Gemma wants to
respect Tina's decision.
204
00:09:03,332 --> 00:09:04,332
So you see
my situation.
205
00:09:04,399 --> 00:09:05,369
I want to pay you.
206
00:09:06,702 --> 00:09:09,302
But I can't.
207
00:09:09,371 --> 00:09:12,031
Dave, why are you
wasting my time right now?
208
00:09:12,107 --> 00:09:14,677
Because I believe that paying
you is the right thing to do.
209
00:09:14,743 --> 00:09:16,673
A man deserves to be paid
for the work that he does.
210
00:09:16,745 --> 00:09:18,875
Okay, so give me the money.
211
00:09:18,947 --> 00:09:22,217
But, then I'd be going
behind my wife's back,
212
00:09:22,284 --> 00:09:24,314
and I don't think that's the
right thing to do, either.
213
00:09:24,386 --> 00:09:26,486
Oh... okay.
214
00:09:26,555 --> 00:09:29,285
I see, you one
of those kind of dudes.
215
00:09:29,358 --> 00:09:30,628
What do you mean?
216
00:09:30,692 --> 00:09:34,522
Oh, you know, the kind that's
afraid to do the right thing,
217
00:09:34,596 --> 00:09:36,696
so you hide behind your wife.
218
00:09:42,070 --> 00:09:45,540
Are you calling me a
Hickory Corners kind of man?
219
00:09:52,047 --> 00:09:56,547
That is as confusing to me
as "the down-low" is to you.
220
00:09:58,487 --> 00:09:59,887
Okay, you know what?
Fine. Here.
221
00:09:59,955 --> 00:10:01,425
Look. Take the money.
Cool.
222
00:10:01,490 --> 00:10:03,330
But just so you know,
I feel super guilty,
223
00:10:03,392 --> 00:10:04,822
because I've never
lied to Gemma before.
224
00:10:04,893 --> 00:10:06,193
Plus...
225
00:10:06,261 --> 00:10:07,521
I'm a terrible liar.
226
00:10:07,596 --> 00:10:08,996
What are you
guys doing?
227
00:10:09,064 --> 00:10:12,164
W-We're just having a late night
meeting for our recycling club.
228
00:10:13,268 --> 00:10:15,938
Oh. Cool.
229
00:10:17,906 --> 00:10:20,176
I just lied to my son!
230
00:10:20,242 --> 00:10:21,572
I feel horrible.
231
00:10:21,643 --> 00:10:22,573
Yeah.
232
00:10:22,644 --> 00:10:24,544
So do I.
Really?
233
00:10:24,613 --> 00:10:26,413
No.
234
00:10:26,481 --> 00:10:28,711
See? That's how you lie.
235
00:10:36,710 --> 00:10:37,710
Oh!
236
00:10:40,113 --> 00:10:42,443
We've done
a horrible thing.
237
00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:45,086
I need to put
a bell on you.
238
00:10:45,152 --> 00:10:48,412
I feel so guilty about lying
to Gemma, sneaking around
239
00:10:48,488 --> 00:10:51,658
on her
on the down-low.
240
00:10:51,725 --> 00:10:53,795
Okay, you've got to
stop saying that,
241
00:10:53,860 --> 00:10:55,800
or look up what it means.
242
00:10:57,798 --> 00:10:59,398
I can't even look her
in the eye.
243
00:10:59,466 --> 00:11:02,596
I spent all breakfast
focusing on her left nostril.
244
00:11:02,669 --> 00:11:04,169
I can't do this
anymore, Calvin.
245
00:11:04,237 --> 00:11:06,007
I have to tell her
246
00:11:06,072 --> 00:11:09,572
about this and that
stray nose hair.
247
00:11:09,643 --> 00:11:11,743
Look, you've already
committed the crime.
248
00:11:11,812 --> 00:11:13,512
There's no way
you can undo it.
249
00:11:13,580 --> 00:11:15,520
You could give me
back the money.
250
00:11:15,582 --> 00:11:18,642
Like I said, there's
no way you can undo it.
251
00:11:18,718 --> 00:11:21,318
But...
Look, Dave,
252
00:11:21,388 --> 00:11:23,858
how will knowing the truth
make Gemma feel?
253
00:11:23,924 --> 00:11:26,324
I don't know, hurt,
angry, betrayed.
254
00:11:26,393 --> 00:11:30,293
Exactly, so by you telling her,
all you'll be doing
255
00:11:30,363 --> 00:11:33,033
is making yourself
feel better.
256
00:11:33,099 --> 00:11:35,139
I guess.
257
00:11:35,202 --> 00:11:38,862
Be a good husband, Dave.
Keep lying to your wife.
258
00:11:40,507 --> 00:11:42,707
I just wish that lying
came easier to me.
259
00:11:42,776 --> 00:11:44,146
Oh, hey, Dave,
what are you doing here?
260
00:11:44,211 --> 00:11:45,841
Calvin and I are gonna
donate blood.
261
00:11:48,014 --> 00:11:49,714
Oh, really?
That's great.
262
00:11:49,783 --> 00:11:52,043
I've been trying to get him
to go for years.
263
00:11:52,118 --> 00:11:53,188
So what's your secret, Dave?
264
00:11:53,253 --> 00:11:54,413
My secret?
I don't have a secret.
265
00:11:54,488 --> 00:11:56,188
I'm not feeling too well.
Anybody else feel dizzy?
266
00:11:59,292 --> 00:12:01,552
Well, it sounds like you
shouldn't be giving blood.
267
00:12:01,628 --> 00:12:03,468
Calvin, looks like you
got to go without him.
268
00:12:03,530 --> 00:12:04,730
(laughing):
Okay.
269
00:12:04,798 --> 00:12:06,338
All right.
270
00:12:06,399 --> 00:12:07,339
I'll make sure
271
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:09,070
he gives some later.
272
00:12:12,105 --> 00:12:14,675
You've been on that phone
since I got home from work.
273
00:12:14,741 --> 00:12:16,071
What's going on?
274
00:12:16,142 --> 00:12:18,242
Just asking out this girl
I met on this app last night.
275
00:12:18,311 --> 00:12:20,311
Oh, nice.
What's her name?
276
00:12:20,380 --> 00:12:21,680
Ebony.
277
00:12:21,748 --> 00:12:24,888
Good. You just answered
my next question.
278
00:12:28,255 --> 00:12:29,925
(vocalizing)
279
00:12:29,990 --> 00:12:31,530
Hey, guys.
280
00:12:31,591 --> 00:12:34,191
Hey, baby. I just finished
folding your laundry.
281
00:12:34,261 --> 00:12:36,261
Oh, good, 'cause I think
my lucky shirt's in there,
282
00:12:36,329 --> 00:12:38,899
and I'm-a need it for my date
with Ebony. (chuckles)
283
00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:42,564
Huh.
284
00:12:42,636 --> 00:12:46,206
What are the odds of you both
talking to girls named Eb...?
285
00:12:49,576 --> 00:12:50,946
Aw, hell no.
286
00:12:53,079 --> 00:12:55,349
You both got my hopes up
for nothing.
287
00:12:55,415 --> 00:12:56,685
That girl's a ho.
288
00:12:56,750 --> 00:12:58,790
No, she's not.
289
00:12:58,852 --> 00:13:00,782
Oh, yeah? What kind of girl
290
00:13:00,854 --> 00:13:02,784
dates two brothers
at the same time?
291
00:13:02,856 --> 00:13:04,226
She doesn't know
we're brothers.
292
00:13:04,291 --> 00:13:07,051
Yeah, Mom, that
would be weird.
293
00:13:09,129 --> 00:13:11,199
You know, I-I-I can't
believe you two.
294
00:13:11,264 --> 00:13:13,734
You mean to tell me that,
in a world full of women,
295
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,870
you'll seriously risk
your relationship
296
00:13:15,936 --> 00:13:17,306
fighting over the same girl?
297
00:13:18,438 --> 00:13:19,408
Definitely.
Yes.
298
00:13:19,472 --> 00:13:20,902
Yes.
Absolutely.
299
00:13:22,509 --> 00:13:24,979
So, how you
holding up, man?
300
00:13:25,045 --> 00:13:26,545
Terrible.
301
00:13:26,613 --> 00:13:28,413
I still can't look
Gemma in the eye.
302
00:13:28,481 --> 00:13:29,811
I feel like she's gonna know.
303
00:13:29,883 --> 00:13:31,643
Don't you go
Hickory Corners on me.
304
00:13:34,788 --> 00:13:37,658
This is so nice.
Thanks again for having us.
305
00:13:37,724 --> 00:13:39,894
Oh, please. It's our pleasure.
Right, Dave?
306
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,160
(chuckles):
Yeah.
307
00:13:49,069 --> 00:13:51,169
What are you
looking at, Dave?
308
00:13:51,237 --> 00:13:52,737
There's a bug.
309
00:13:53,740 --> 00:13:55,080
Oh-oh, yeah,
310
00:13:55,141 --> 00:13:57,441
yeah, I see it, too.
It's, uh... Oh!
311
00:13:57,510 --> 00:13:58,580
There. Got it.
312
00:13:58,645 --> 00:14:01,445
Calvin.
What?
313
00:14:01,514 --> 00:14:03,584
It looked like the bitey kind.
314
00:14:03,650 --> 00:14:05,590
West Nile is in these streets.
315
00:14:07,654 --> 00:14:09,784
You know what,
we should toast.
316
00:14:09,856 --> 00:14:11,856
Dave, why don't you pour
everyone some more wine?
317
00:14:11,925 --> 00:14:14,025
Yeah, that's a great idea.
318
00:14:15,428 --> 00:14:16,598
Okay.
319
00:14:16,663 --> 00:14:18,323
Calvin, here you go.
320
00:14:18,398 --> 00:14:20,698
Tina.
Thank you.
321
00:14:20,767 --> 00:14:21,797
Dear...
322
00:14:21,868 --> 00:14:23,808
(gasps) Dave!
Oh, no!
323
00:14:23,870 --> 00:14:25,010
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm so sorry..
324
00:14:25,071 --> 00:14:26,771
I got to go
clean this up.
Oh, my goodness.
325
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:29,040
I'm so sorry.
It got all over your couch--
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa!
326
00:14:29,075 --> 00:14:30,145
Wrong wife, Dave.
327
00:14:36,383 --> 00:14:37,613
Dude.
328
00:14:37,684 --> 00:14:39,784
What is wrong
with you, man?
329
00:14:39,853 --> 00:14:41,883
You got to pull
it together.
I can't!
330
00:14:41,955 --> 00:14:45,625
My hands are all sweaty, my
heart is pounding in my throat.
331
00:14:45,692 --> 00:14:49,622
Oh, you mean like the way I felt
when I had to give blood today?
332
00:14:52,399 --> 00:14:53,539
Huh?
333
00:14:55,135 --> 00:14:57,735
It took her four stabs
to find a vein.
334
00:14:59,706 --> 00:15:03,376
What is up with Dave?
He's been acting so weird.
335
00:15:03,443 --> 00:15:05,573
Yeah, even for him.
336
00:15:05,645 --> 00:15:08,875
You know, Calvin's
been acting funny, too.
337
00:15:08,948 --> 00:15:10,188
How?
338
00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:12,920
Well, if a mosquito
was gonna give Dave West Nile,
339
00:15:12,986 --> 00:15:14,516
I don't think Calvin
would stop it.
340
00:15:16,656 --> 00:15:18,656
Maybe it's because
they're in the same club.
341
00:15:18,725 --> 00:15:20,155
What club?
342
00:15:20,226 --> 00:15:22,496
The recycling club.
343
00:15:22,562 --> 00:15:24,722
I saw them outside last night
whispering about it.
344
00:15:26,833 --> 00:15:28,663
Oh, really?
345
00:15:28,735 --> 00:15:31,705
Yeah, then Dad gave
Mr. Calvin some money.
346
00:15:35,341 --> 00:15:36,701
How much money?
347
00:15:36,776 --> 00:15:40,416
I don't know, probably like
a million dollars.
348
00:15:41,981 --> 00:15:43,241
Hmm.
349
00:15:43,316 --> 00:15:45,246
Okay, sweetie, why don't you
run off to bed?
350
00:15:45,318 --> 00:15:48,618
Okay... but save that
empty bottle for me.
351
00:15:48,688 --> 00:15:51,228
I want to join that club
and get paid.
352
00:15:55,428 --> 00:15:58,028
You know, that little boy is
getting blacker and blacker.
353
00:15:59,299 --> 00:16:01,799
I can't believe
Dave gave Calvin that money.
354
00:16:01,868 --> 00:16:04,868
I specifically told him I was
trying to honor our friendship.
355
00:16:04,938 --> 00:16:06,538
I told Calvin the same thing,
356
00:16:06,606 --> 00:16:08,706
but apparently their egos
are more important.
357
00:16:08,775 --> 00:16:10,575
This could have gotten
really ugly.
358
00:16:10,643 --> 00:16:12,443
If you'd found out
about Dave paying Calvin
359
00:16:12,512 --> 00:16:14,112
and thought that
I was okay with it...
360
00:16:14,180 --> 00:16:15,320
I would've been pissed.
361
00:16:15,381 --> 00:16:17,041
Yeah, and then we would've
been in a fight.
362
00:16:17,117 --> 00:16:20,217
(chuckles)
Not a real one.
363
00:16:20,286 --> 00:16:22,386
You don't want
to catch these hands.
364
00:16:23,456 --> 00:16:25,086
And all because of them.
365
00:16:25,158 --> 00:16:26,628
They should be taught a lesson.
366
00:16:26,693 --> 00:16:27,953
How?
367
00:16:28,027 --> 00:16:30,127
Maybe we should get
into a fight.
368
00:16:30,196 --> 00:16:34,096
Okay. But I don't want
to catch those hands.
369
00:16:37,570 --> 00:16:40,410
Come on, man, look, we just
have to make it through dinner
370
00:16:40,473 --> 00:16:42,273
and we never have to
see each other again.
371
00:16:46,379 --> 00:16:48,449
How is that gonna
fix my problem?
372
00:16:48,515 --> 00:16:51,785
It doesn't.
It fixes mine.
373
00:16:51,851 --> 00:16:54,681
You know, I cannot believe you,
Gemma Johnson!
374
00:16:54,754 --> 00:16:56,584
We're supposed to be
friends, but you're...
375
00:16:56,656 --> 00:16:58,326
you're just the liar next door.
376
00:16:59,692 --> 00:17:01,522
We are friends, Tina.
377
00:17:01,594 --> 00:17:03,924
You have to believe me,
I didn't know.
378
00:17:03,997 --> 00:17:05,267
Okay, what is going on?
379
00:17:05,331 --> 00:17:07,691
I found out the truth
that Dave gave you the money.
380
00:17:07,767 --> 00:17:10,967
Oh, okay.
Oh, God.
381
00:17:11,037 --> 00:17:14,537
And that Gemma was the one
who forced you both to do it.
382
00:17:14,607 --> 00:17:15,977
Yes.
What?
383
00:17:16,042 --> 00:17:17,602
Yes, it was her.
384
00:17:18,678 --> 00:17:20,218
You know what, Tina?
385
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:22,880
I am sick of you
and your false accusations.
386
00:17:22,949 --> 00:17:25,449
Disrespect me one more time
and see what happens.
387
00:17:28,621 --> 00:17:32,351
Oh, really, you little
fake-ass Barbie?
388
00:17:32,425 --> 00:17:33,795
(gasps)
389
00:17:33,860 --> 00:17:36,130
What you gonna do?
390
00:17:36,196 --> 00:17:37,366
Tell me what you gonna do.
391
00:17:37,430 --> 00:17:39,170
Oh, I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do.
392
00:17:39,232 --> 00:17:40,892
I'm gonna make you
catch these hands.
393
00:17:40,967 --> 00:17:42,797
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
(overlapping shouting)
394
00:17:42,869 --> 00:17:44,369
Did you hear what
she said to me?!
395
00:17:44,437 --> 00:17:45,667
Tina, please.
396
00:17:45,738 --> 00:17:49,078
Gemma had nothing
to do with this.
397
00:17:49,142 --> 00:17:50,902
She didn't?
398
00:17:50,977 --> 00:17:52,047
No.
399
00:17:52,111 --> 00:17:54,211
Is this true, Calvin?
400
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:56,650
Yeah, he's right, babe.
401
00:17:56,716 --> 00:17:57,886
It was all Dave.
402
00:18:02,288 --> 00:18:04,888
Seriously, Calvin?
403
00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:07,558
Look, fine,
it was both of us.
404
00:18:07,627 --> 00:18:09,097
We're really sorry.
405
00:18:14,901 --> 00:18:17,531
Yay! (laughs)
We got you!
406
00:18:17,604 --> 00:18:19,104
We were just pretending
to fight.
407
00:18:19,172 --> 00:18:21,532
Oh, my God!
You were so good.
408
00:18:21,608 --> 00:18:23,278
Oh, my God, no,
you were so good.
409
00:18:23,343 --> 00:18:24,843
"The liar next door."
410
00:18:24,911 --> 00:18:27,371
You know, that just came
to me in the moment.
411
00:18:27,447 --> 00:18:29,017
Oh, my God,
you're so good.
Now, hold on.
412
00:18:29,082 --> 00:18:32,512
This whole thing was fake just
to make us look like fools?
413
00:18:32,585 --> 00:18:34,285
Yeah, and it worked.
(laughs)
414
00:18:36,656 --> 00:18:38,956
My heart is racing.
415
00:18:39,025 --> 00:18:41,195
Oh, my God, I'm pumped.
Let's go out.
416
00:18:41,261 --> 00:18:43,961
Yeah, maybe get
into a real fight.
417
00:18:44,030 --> 00:18:45,600
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
slow your roll, Gemma.
418
00:18:46,933 --> 00:18:48,063
Hold up,
419
00:18:48,134 --> 00:18:49,564
y'all just
gonna leave us?
420
00:18:49,636 --> 00:18:52,736
Hell yeah. You two totally
went behind our backs
421
00:18:52,805 --> 00:18:55,405
when we were supposed
to be partners.
422
00:18:55,475 --> 00:18:57,745
Yeah, Dave, if I wanted
to marry a liar,
423
00:18:57,810 --> 00:18:59,610
I would have stayed
in Hickory Corners.
424
00:19:04,651 --> 00:19:07,251
Damn, dude, how
bad is that place?
425
00:19:13,192 --> 00:19:15,222
So, um, how was your date
with Ebony? I bet it sucked.
426
00:19:15,294 --> 00:19:17,064
Au contraire, mon frère.
427
00:19:17,130 --> 00:19:18,930
It was like something
out of a movie, okay?
428
00:19:18,998 --> 00:19:21,868
Think Romeo and Juliet
meets Lady and the Tramp.
429
00:19:21,934 --> 00:19:24,204
Oh, so you guys
had spaghetti
430
00:19:24,270 --> 00:19:26,540
and then she killed herself?
431
00:19:27,874 --> 00:19:29,104
No.
432
00:19:29,175 --> 00:19:30,545
We went to the park
with her dogs,
433
00:19:30,610 --> 00:19:33,050
and their names
are Romeo and Juliet.
434
00:19:33,112 --> 00:19:35,642
That sounds super lame.
(laughs)
435
00:19:35,715 --> 00:19:37,985
Well, that long hug
I got at the end wasn't.
436
00:19:38,050 --> 00:19:39,220
What'd you guys do?
437
00:19:39,285 --> 00:19:41,385
Well... (clears throat)
I picked her up...
438
00:19:41,454 --> 00:19:43,884
On the bus.
439
00:19:43,956 --> 00:19:45,626
We went to a poetry reading...
440
00:19:45,691 --> 00:19:47,091
That was free.
441
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:48,960
And then I dropped her off
at her place...
442
00:19:49,028 --> 00:19:50,328
Because you don't have your own.
443
00:19:50,396 --> 00:19:51,496
(chuckles)
444
00:19:51,531 --> 00:19:53,661
(overlapping arguing)
445
00:19:53,733 --> 00:19:56,193
Malcolm? Marty?
446
00:19:56,235 --> 00:19:57,835
Ebony?
Hey.
447
00:19:57,904 --> 00:20:00,274
You guys know
each other?
Uh, yeah.
448
00:20:00,339 --> 00:20:01,339
How?
449
00:20:01,407 --> 00:20:03,277
Well...
Well, uh...
450
00:20:03,342 --> 00:20:04,572
We-we-we...
451
00:20:04,644 --> 00:20:05,904
Oh, they brothers.
452
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,420
Are you ready,
beautiful?
453
00:20:09,482 --> 00:20:12,242
What?
Now-now, wait-wait-wait,
wait a second.
454
00:20:12,318 --> 00:20:13,618
How do you two know each other?
455
00:20:13,686 --> 00:20:16,016
Oh, we're a match. Yeah.
456
00:20:16,088 --> 00:20:18,088
Turns out I do like
online shopping.
457
00:20:18,157 --> 00:20:20,157
(chuckles)
458
00:20:22,428 --> 00:20:24,268
Wow.
459
00:20:24,330 --> 00:20:26,530
(sighs)
460
00:20:26,599 --> 00:20:28,639
Well, maybe that's
for the best.
461
00:20:28,701 --> 00:20:31,201
You know what? Yeah, you're
right. I mean, we're brothers.
462
00:20:31,270 --> 00:20:32,670
Right.
(both laugh)
463
00:20:32,738 --> 00:20:35,178
(phones chime)
Oh, please, not again.
464
00:20:35,241 --> 00:20:36,371
Okay,
465
00:20:36,442 --> 00:20:38,942
let's just look
and say the names on three.
466
00:20:39,011 --> 00:20:40,841
Ready?
Okay.
467
00:20:40,913 --> 00:20:42,273
BOTH:
One... two... three.
468
00:20:42,348 --> 00:20:44,288
Laura!
(sighs)
Tracey! Oh, God,
thank you.
469
00:20:44,350 --> 00:20:46,020
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