1 00:00:01,923 --> 00:00:03,553 All right, so we replaced your pads, 2 00:00:03,625 --> 00:00:06,355 resurfaced your rotors, and adjusted your calipers. 3 00:00:06,428 --> 00:00:09,468 Great. Please tell me that means you fixed my brakes. 4 00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:12,961 (chuckles) Well, let's just say I don't expect your car 5 00:00:13,035 --> 00:00:13,965 on my lawn again. 6 00:00:14,036 --> 00:00:15,436 (chuckles) 7 00:00:15,504 --> 00:00:17,974 You can go and settle this up with Tina in the office. 8 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:19,710 Your car's in the back getting washed. 9 00:00:19,775 --> 00:00:22,105 Ooh, your shop is so fancy. 10 00:00:22,177 --> 00:00:24,647 Well, you also get a complimentary air freshener. 11 00:00:24,713 --> 00:00:27,043 Pine tree, cinnamon vanilla, 12 00:00:27,115 --> 00:00:30,285 or my personal favorite, "New Calvin Smell." 13 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:34,060 Is that like "new car smell"? 14 00:00:34,122 --> 00:00:37,052 Yeah, but with notes of cocoa butter and swagger. 15 00:00:37,125 --> 00:00:38,395 (both chuckle) 16 00:00:40,128 --> 00:00:42,928 Ooh, I've never seen you at work before. 17 00:00:42,998 --> 00:00:45,268 Look at you, Mrs. Businesswoman. 18 00:00:45,333 --> 00:00:47,803 Balancing the books, invoicing suppliers... 19 00:00:47,869 --> 00:00:49,269 Girl, I'm on Facebook. 20 00:00:51,506 --> 00:00:53,676 My cousin just changed her relationship status 21 00:00:53,742 --> 00:00:56,402 to "it's complicated," and we know what that means. 22 00:00:56,478 --> 00:00:59,018 Here comes the Bible quotes and the bikini pictures. 23 00:00:59,081 --> 00:01:01,781 (chuckles) Calvin told me to give you this. 24 00:01:01,850 --> 00:01:03,750 Oh, no, no. Don't be ridiculous. 25 00:01:03,819 --> 00:01:05,259 We're not charging you. 26 00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:07,830 What are you talking about? It's $300. 27 00:01:07,889 --> 00:01:12,029 Calvin rotored my caterpillars and padded my surfaces. 28 00:01:13,095 --> 00:01:14,425 Gemma, we're friends, okay? 29 00:01:14,496 --> 00:01:15,926 Don't worry about it. 30 00:01:15,997 --> 00:01:18,197 No. Really, Tina, I appreciate the thought, 31 00:01:18,266 --> 00:01:19,436 but I have to pay you. 32 00:01:19,501 --> 00:01:20,661 Gemma Johnson, 33 00:01:20,735 --> 00:01:22,435 I just called you a friend. 34 00:01:22,504 --> 00:01:24,204 And friends do things for each other, 35 00:01:24,272 --> 00:01:27,532 so don't insult me when I'm trying to show you some love. 36 00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:29,849 Are you sure? 37 00:01:29,911 --> 00:01:32,311 Girl, don't make me cut your brake lines. 38 00:01:32,380 --> 00:01:35,020 Have you actually ever done that? 39 00:01:36,118 --> 00:01:38,218 No. 40 00:01:39,354 --> 00:01:41,824 Well, in that case, thank you. 41 00:01:41,890 --> 00:01:43,360 You're welcome. 42 00:01:43,425 --> 00:01:45,725 Now come help me find a Bible verse that says 43 00:01:45,794 --> 00:01:46,894 "Stick to a one-piece." 44 00:01:46,962 --> 00:01:48,892 (speaks indistinctly) 45 00:01:50,432 --> 00:01:51,662 Hey, Calvin. 46 00:01:51,733 --> 00:01:53,893 Oh. Thanks for taking care of our car. 47 00:01:53,969 --> 00:01:55,069 Not a problem, Dave. 48 00:01:55,137 --> 00:01:56,667 You guys did a great job. 49 00:01:56,738 --> 00:01:58,178 We try. 50 00:01:58,240 --> 00:01:59,880 Oh, and thanks so much for comping the bill. 51 00:01:59,941 --> 00:02:02,301 Oh, what's that, now? 52 00:02:02,377 --> 00:02:04,577 You know how you hooked us up with the car. 53 00:02:04,646 --> 00:02:05,876 Who knew you were so generous? 54 00:02:05,947 --> 00:02:08,747 Not me. 55 00:02:08,817 --> 00:02:10,387 Well, I owe you one. 56 00:02:10,452 --> 00:02:12,882 You owe me a lot more than one. 57 00:02:12,954 --> 00:02:14,254 What's that, buddy? 58 00:02:14,322 --> 00:02:16,082 Oh, nothing, buddy. 59 00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:21,330 Tina! 60 00:02:21,396 --> 00:02:23,496 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 61 00:02:23,565 --> 00:02:24,495 ♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪ 62 00:02:28,037 --> 00:02:30,577 Tina! Tina! 63 00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:34,449 Ooh, Dad seems pissed. We should go. 64 00:02:34,510 --> 00:02:37,920 Yeah, Dad seems pissed. We should stay. 65 00:02:37,980 --> 00:02:39,280 What are you yelling about? 66 00:02:39,348 --> 00:02:42,588 Is Leon selling meat out of the back of his van again? 67 00:02:42,651 --> 00:02:45,611 Did you tell the Johnsons they didn't have to pay their bill? 68 00:02:45,688 --> 00:02:46,718 Yeah. Why? 69 00:02:46,789 --> 00:02:48,289 Why? 70 00:02:48,357 --> 00:02:51,297 Because 300 bucks is a lot of money. 71 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,830 That's like 60 rib eyes. 72 00:02:53,896 --> 00:02:55,966 Wait, so those steaks are five bucks apiece? 73 00:02:56,031 --> 00:02:57,831 Yeah, Pop, that's not real meat. 74 00:03:00,803 --> 00:03:02,263 Gemma's my friend. 75 00:03:02,338 --> 00:03:03,608 It's not like we're hurting for money. 76 00:03:03,672 --> 00:03:05,632 It's not about the money. 77 00:03:05,708 --> 00:03:07,748 It's about that you didn't ask me. 78 00:03:09,745 --> 00:03:11,145 Why do I have to ask you? 79 00:03:11,213 --> 00:03:12,743 Because I'm the boss. 80 00:03:14,049 --> 00:03:16,519 Yep, Mom is pissed. We should go. 81 00:03:17,653 --> 00:03:19,853 Yeah. This time I agree. 82 00:03:21,390 --> 00:03:24,030 Calvin, I didn't realize I had a boss. 83 00:03:24,093 --> 00:03:25,793 I thought I had a business partner. 84 00:03:25,861 --> 00:03:27,421 Babe, you know what I'm saying. 85 00:03:27,496 --> 00:03:29,626 All right? It, it's a division of labor. 86 00:03:29,698 --> 00:03:31,168 Mm-hmm. I'm the boss at the shop. 87 00:03:31,233 --> 00:03:33,533 You're the boss here at home. 88 00:03:33,602 --> 00:03:36,162 (laughs) 89 00:03:36,238 --> 00:03:38,178 (both laughing) 90 00:03:44,780 --> 00:03:46,380 Wha-- Why-why are we laughing? 91 00:03:46,448 --> 00:03:47,888 Oh... 92 00:03:47,950 --> 00:03:50,560 'Cause you thought I would buy that nonsense. 93 00:03:52,521 --> 00:03:58,291 Calvin Butler, love of my life, partner at home and at work... 94 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:00,630 I made a decision 95 00:04:00,696 --> 00:04:04,066 and I expect for you to respect that. 96 00:04:04,133 --> 00:04:05,833 (knocking on door) 97 00:04:07,736 --> 00:04:09,536 Okay, so was that a "I love you" kiss 98 00:04:09,605 --> 00:04:11,505 or a "you need to let this go" kiss? 99 00:04:11,574 --> 00:04:13,234 We'll go with both. 100 00:04:14,610 --> 00:04:15,550 Hey, guys. 101 00:04:15,611 --> 00:04:17,071 Hi. Hey. 102 00:04:17,146 --> 00:04:19,016 We just wanted to stop by and say thanks again 103 00:04:19,081 --> 00:04:21,141 for taking such good care of us down at the shop. 104 00:04:21,217 --> 00:04:23,187 Aw, don't be ridiculous. 105 00:04:23,252 --> 00:04:24,982 It's our pleasure. Right, Calvin? 106 00:04:27,323 --> 00:04:28,853 300%. 107 00:04:31,093 --> 00:04:33,193 But, you know, we talked about it, 108 00:04:33,262 --> 00:04:35,562 and it just feels wrong to let you do it for free. 109 00:04:35,631 --> 00:04:36,891 (quietly): All right. 110 00:04:36,966 --> 00:04:41,036 Which is why we want to have you over for dinner tomorrow. 111 00:04:43,339 --> 00:04:46,179 Well, that's wonderful. 112 00:04:46,242 --> 00:04:48,202 We'll bring the wine. You want to pick one out? 113 00:04:48,277 --> 00:04:51,277 Ooh, I don't know. We might have to taste it first. 114 00:04:51,347 --> 00:04:53,247 I might need to taste it twice. 115 00:04:53,315 --> 00:04:55,945 (chuckling) 116 00:04:56,018 --> 00:04:57,018 (Calvin chuckles) 117 00:04:58,621 --> 00:05:00,011 I want that money, Dave. 118 00:05:02,858 --> 00:05:03,928 What? 119 00:05:03,993 --> 00:05:06,253 And don't tell our wives. 120 00:05:06,328 --> 00:05:07,628 I tell Gemma everything. 121 00:05:07,696 --> 00:05:09,466 Even when she asks me not to. 122 00:05:09,531 --> 00:05:13,131 Well, on behalf of both of us, keep your mouth shut. 123 00:05:15,838 --> 00:05:18,208 So, if the chicken had six eggs, 124 00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:19,874 and the farmer took away five, 125 00:05:19,942 --> 00:05:21,642 what did the chicken have left? 126 00:05:21,710 --> 00:05:24,820 Where do chicken babies come from? 127 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:30,090 Oh. Well, that's an interesting question. 128 00:05:30,152 --> 00:05:32,382 You see, instead of genitals... 129 00:05:34,390 --> 00:05:40,460 ...hens and roosters have a special hole called a cloaca... 130 00:05:40,529 --> 00:05:44,799 that's used for both going to the bathroom and making babies. 131 00:05:44,867 --> 00:05:46,937 If you don't know, just say so. 132 00:05:51,307 --> 00:05:54,747 Did he just trick me into finishing his homework? 133 00:05:58,347 --> 00:05:59,417 Hey, Gemma. 134 00:05:59,481 --> 00:06:00,981 Hey, sweetie. 135 00:06:01,050 --> 00:06:03,950 Uh, I was thinking. 136 00:06:04,019 --> 00:06:06,019 You know, maybe we pay Calvin 137 00:06:06,088 --> 00:06:07,588 for the work that he did on the car. 138 00:06:07,656 --> 00:06:08,926 I asked, 139 00:06:08,991 --> 00:06:10,621 but Tina threatened to cut my brake lines. 140 00:06:12,061 --> 00:06:13,921 I think, playfully. 141 00:06:16,365 --> 00:06:18,995 I know, it's just-- it's the principle of the thing. 142 00:06:19,068 --> 00:06:20,668 You know, where I come from, a man gets paid 143 00:06:20,736 --> 00:06:22,136 for the work that he does. 144 00:06:22,204 --> 00:06:25,474 First of all, we come from the same place. 145 00:06:27,009 --> 00:06:29,279 (chuckles) Uh, hello. 146 00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:32,845 East Kalamazoo is an entirely different world 147 00:06:32,915 --> 00:06:36,115 from Hickory Corners. 148 00:06:36,185 --> 00:06:38,215 And second, it would be rude. 149 00:06:38,287 --> 00:06:40,617 Tina explicitly said she didn't want us to pay. 150 00:06:40,689 --> 00:06:42,059 I know, but people say things 151 00:06:42,124 --> 00:06:43,484 that they don't mean all the time. 152 00:06:43,559 --> 00:06:46,029 Like, when I floated the idea of becoming an amateur beekeeper, 153 00:06:46,095 --> 00:06:48,365 and you told me to do what I want. 154 00:06:48,430 --> 00:06:50,530 You're right. I definitely didn't mean that. 155 00:06:51,967 --> 00:06:52,967 See? 156 00:06:53,035 --> 00:06:54,635 And how many times did you get stung? 157 00:06:56,538 --> 00:06:59,038 We still don't know that those were my bees. 158 00:07:00,709 --> 00:07:03,579 So we agree. We're not paying them, right? 159 00:07:03,645 --> 00:07:04,975 (sighs) 160 00:07:05,047 --> 00:07:06,077 Okay. 161 00:07:06,148 --> 00:07:08,218 Good. Now I'm gonna go tuck in Grover, 162 00:07:08,283 --> 00:07:10,083 before he starts looking for his cloaca. 163 00:07:11,954 --> 00:07:15,154 Yeah, Malcolm and Marty. 164 00:07:15,224 --> 00:07:18,324 What do the Butler boys got crackalackin' tonight? 165 00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:20,654 Well, Marty and I are checking out this new dating app. 166 00:07:20,729 --> 00:07:23,729 You would not believe all the fine women on here. 167 00:07:23,799 --> 00:07:24,939 Ooh-ooh! 168 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,010 Excuse me. Are these seats taken? 169 00:07:28,070 --> 00:07:29,910 Yeah, I think there was some guy here or something. 170 00:07:31,473 --> 00:07:35,073 What? What? 171 00:07:35,144 --> 00:07:37,514 What the hell is wrong with you two? 172 00:07:38,814 --> 00:07:40,674 You online shopping when 173 00:07:40,749 --> 00:07:43,249 you already in the mall. 174 00:07:43,318 --> 00:07:44,758 Look, the game has changed, Ernie. 175 00:07:44,820 --> 00:07:47,260 We would have to have a whole conversation with those girls 176 00:07:47,322 --> 00:07:48,882 to find out if we were a match. 177 00:07:48,924 --> 00:07:50,894 Yeah, but with the app, we already know, 178 00:07:50,959 --> 00:07:52,599 and we just swipe right. Mmm. 179 00:07:52,661 --> 00:07:55,591 Well, back in my day, if a woman didn't like you, 180 00:07:55,664 --> 00:07:57,694 she literally swiped you away. 181 00:07:57,766 --> 00:08:00,936 Once, I got swiped off a boat. 182 00:08:01,003 --> 00:08:04,033 (phone buzzes and dings) Oh! I got my first match. 183 00:08:04,106 --> 00:08:06,536 Oh, she is fine. She likes baseball, 184 00:08:06,608 --> 00:08:09,148 she's into poetry, and her name is Ebony. 185 00:08:09,211 --> 00:08:10,241 (phone buzzes and beeps) 186 00:08:10,312 --> 00:08:12,872 Ha-ha! Houston, we have liftoff. 187 00:08:12,948 --> 00:08:13,978 I got a match, too. 188 00:08:14,049 --> 00:08:17,049 Yeah, her name is... Ebony. 189 00:08:21,490 --> 00:08:22,490 Oh... 190 00:08:22,558 --> 00:08:24,558 let the games begin. 191 00:08:28,297 --> 00:08:30,797 Dave. 192 00:08:30,866 --> 00:08:33,096 Dave. Where are you? 193 00:08:33,168 --> 00:08:34,838 I'm right here. What? (muttering) 194 00:08:39,908 --> 00:08:41,248 Why you scaring me like that? 195 00:08:41,310 --> 00:08:42,750 Sorry. Sorry. 196 00:08:42,811 --> 00:08:44,571 I'm on the down-low. 197 00:08:47,649 --> 00:08:49,949 Just so you know, 198 00:08:50,018 --> 00:08:52,318 in this neighborhood, that doesn't mean what you think. 199 00:08:54,223 --> 00:08:55,653 Whatever. Look... 200 00:08:55,724 --> 00:08:57,284 Got your money. Great. 201 00:08:57,359 --> 00:08:58,759 But I can't give it to you. 202 00:08:58,827 --> 00:09:00,757 Why not? 203 00:09:00,829 --> 00:09:03,269 Because Gemma wants to respect Tina's decision. 204 00:09:03,332 --> 00:09:04,332 So you see my situation. 205 00:09:04,399 --> 00:09:05,369 I want to pay you. 206 00:09:06,702 --> 00:09:09,302 But I can't. 207 00:09:09,371 --> 00:09:12,031 Dave, why are you wasting my time right now? 208 00:09:12,107 --> 00:09:14,677 Because I believe that paying you is the right thing to do. 209 00:09:14,743 --> 00:09:16,673 A man deserves to be paid for the work that he does. 210 00:09:16,745 --> 00:09:18,875 Okay, so give me the money. 211 00:09:18,947 --> 00:09:22,217 But, then I'd be going behind my wife's back, 212 00:09:22,284 --> 00:09:24,314 and I don't think that's the right thing to do, either. 213 00:09:24,386 --> 00:09:26,486 Oh... okay. 214 00:09:26,555 --> 00:09:29,285 I see, you one of those kind of dudes. 215 00:09:29,358 --> 00:09:30,628 What do you mean? 216 00:09:30,692 --> 00:09:34,522 Oh, you know, the kind that's afraid to do the right thing, 217 00:09:34,596 --> 00:09:36,696 so you hide behind your wife. 218 00:09:42,070 --> 00:09:45,540 Are you calling me a Hickory Corners kind of man? 219 00:09:52,047 --> 00:09:56,547 That is as confusing to me as "the down-low" is to you. 220 00:09:58,487 --> 00:09:59,887 Okay, you know what? Fine. Here. 221 00:09:59,955 --> 00:10:01,425 Look. Take the money. Cool. 222 00:10:01,490 --> 00:10:03,330 But just so you know, I feel super guilty, 223 00:10:03,392 --> 00:10:04,822 because I've never lied to Gemma before. 224 00:10:04,893 --> 00:10:06,193 Plus... 225 00:10:06,261 --> 00:10:07,521 I'm a terrible liar. 226 00:10:07,596 --> 00:10:08,996 What are you guys doing? 227 00:10:09,064 --> 00:10:12,164 W-We're just having a late night meeting for our recycling club. 228 00:10:13,268 --> 00:10:15,938 Oh. Cool. 229 00:10:17,906 --> 00:10:20,176 I just lied to my son! 230 00:10:20,242 --> 00:10:21,572 I feel horrible. 231 00:10:21,643 --> 00:10:22,573 Yeah. 232 00:10:22,644 --> 00:10:24,544 So do I. Really? 233 00:10:24,613 --> 00:10:26,413 No. 234 00:10:26,481 --> 00:10:28,711 See? That's how you lie. 235 00:10:36,710 --> 00:10:37,710 Oh! 236 00:10:40,113 --> 00:10:42,443 We've done a horrible thing. 237 00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:45,086 I need to put a bell on you. 238 00:10:45,152 --> 00:10:48,412 I feel so guilty about lying to Gemma, sneaking around 239 00:10:48,488 --> 00:10:51,658 on her on the down-low. 240 00:10:51,725 --> 00:10:53,795 Okay, you've got to stop saying that, 241 00:10:53,860 --> 00:10:55,800 or look up what it means. 242 00:10:57,798 --> 00:10:59,398 I can't even look her in the eye. 243 00:10:59,466 --> 00:11:02,596 I spent all breakfast focusing on her left nostril. 244 00:11:02,669 --> 00:11:04,169 I can't do this anymore, Calvin. 245 00:11:04,237 --> 00:11:06,007 I have to tell her 246 00:11:06,072 --> 00:11:09,572 about this and that stray nose hair. 247 00:11:09,643 --> 00:11:11,743 Look, you've already committed the crime. 248 00:11:11,812 --> 00:11:13,512 There's no way you can undo it. 249 00:11:13,580 --> 00:11:15,520 You could give me back the money. 250 00:11:15,582 --> 00:11:18,642 Like I said, there's no way you can undo it. 251 00:11:18,718 --> 00:11:21,318 But... Look, Dave, 252 00:11:21,388 --> 00:11:23,858 how will knowing the truth make Gemma feel? 253 00:11:23,924 --> 00:11:26,324 I don't know, hurt, angry, betrayed. 254 00:11:26,393 --> 00:11:30,293 Exactly, so by you telling her, all you'll be doing 255 00:11:30,363 --> 00:11:33,033 is making yourself feel better. 256 00:11:33,099 --> 00:11:35,139 I guess. 257 00:11:35,202 --> 00:11:38,862 Be a good husband, Dave. Keep lying to your wife. 258 00:11:40,507 --> 00:11:42,707 I just wish that lying came easier to me. 259 00:11:42,776 --> 00:11:44,146 Oh, hey, Dave, what are you doing here? 260 00:11:44,211 --> 00:11:45,841 Calvin and I are gonna donate blood. 261 00:11:48,014 --> 00:11:49,714 Oh, really? That's great. 262 00:11:49,783 --> 00:11:52,043 I've been trying to get him to go for years. 263 00:11:52,118 --> 00:11:53,188 So what's your secret, Dave? 264 00:11:53,253 --> 00:11:54,413 My secret? I don't have a secret. 265 00:11:54,488 --> 00:11:56,188 I'm not feeling too well. Anybody else feel dizzy? 266 00:11:59,292 --> 00:12:01,552 Well, it sounds like you shouldn't be giving blood. 267 00:12:01,628 --> 00:12:03,468 Calvin, looks like you got to go without him. 268 00:12:03,530 --> 00:12:04,730 (laughing): Okay. 269 00:12:04,798 --> 00:12:06,338 All right. 270 00:12:06,399 --> 00:12:07,339 I'll make sure 271 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:09,070 he gives some later. 272 00:12:12,105 --> 00:12:14,675 You've been on that phone since I got home from work. 273 00:12:14,741 --> 00:12:16,071 What's going on? 274 00:12:16,142 --> 00:12:18,242 Just asking out this girl I met on this app last night. 275 00:12:18,311 --> 00:12:20,311 Oh, nice. What's her name? 276 00:12:20,380 --> 00:12:21,680 Ebony. 277 00:12:21,748 --> 00:12:24,888 Good. You just answered my next question. 278 00:12:28,255 --> 00:12:29,925 (vocalizing) 279 00:12:29,990 --> 00:12:31,530 Hey, guys. 280 00:12:31,591 --> 00:12:34,191 Hey, baby. I just finished folding your laundry. 281 00:12:34,261 --> 00:12:36,261 Oh, good, 'cause I think my lucky shirt's in there, 282 00:12:36,329 --> 00:12:38,899 and I'm-a need it for my date with Ebony. (chuckles) 283 00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:42,564 Huh. 284 00:12:42,636 --> 00:12:46,206 What are the odds of you both talking to girls named Eb...? 285 00:12:49,576 --> 00:12:50,946 Aw, hell no. 286 00:12:53,079 --> 00:12:55,349 You both got my hopes up for nothing. 287 00:12:55,415 --> 00:12:56,685 That girl's a ho. 288 00:12:56,750 --> 00:12:58,790 No, she's not. 289 00:12:58,852 --> 00:13:00,782 Oh, yeah? What kind of girl 290 00:13:00,854 --> 00:13:02,784 dates two brothers at the same time? 291 00:13:02,856 --> 00:13:04,226 She doesn't know we're brothers. 292 00:13:04,291 --> 00:13:07,051 Yeah, Mom, that would be weird. 293 00:13:09,129 --> 00:13:11,199 You know, I-I-I can't believe you two. 294 00:13:11,264 --> 00:13:13,734 You mean to tell me that, in a world full of women, 295 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,870 you'll seriously risk your relationship 296 00:13:15,936 --> 00:13:17,306 fighting over the same girl? 297 00:13:18,438 --> 00:13:19,408 Definitely. Yes. 298 00:13:19,472 --> 00:13:20,902 Yes. Absolutely. 299 00:13:22,509 --> 00:13:24,979 So, how you holding up, man? 300 00:13:25,045 --> 00:13:26,545 Terrible. 301 00:13:26,613 --> 00:13:28,413 I still can't look Gemma in the eye. 302 00:13:28,481 --> 00:13:29,811 I feel like she's gonna know. 303 00:13:29,883 --> 00:13:31,643 Don't you go Hickory Corners on me. 304 00:13:34,788 --> 00:13:37,658 This is so nice. Thanks again for having us. 305 00:13:37,724 --> 00:13:39,894 Oh, please. It's our pleasure. Right, Dave? 306 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,160 (chuckles): Yeah. 307 00:13:49,069 --> 00:13:51,169 What are you looking at, Dave? 308 00:13:51,237 --> 00:13:52,737 There's a bug. 309 00:13:53,740 --> 00:13:55,080 Oh-oh, yeah, 310 00:13:55,141 --> 00:13:57,441 yeah, I see it, too. It's, uh... Oh! 311 00:13:57,510 --> 00:13:58,580 There. Got it. 312 00:13:58,645 --> 00:14:01,445 Calvin. What? 313 00:14:01,514 --> 00:14:03,584 It looked like the bitey kind. 314 00:14:03,650 --> 00:14:05,590 West Nile is in these streets. 315 00:14:07,654 --> 00:14:09,784 You know what, we should toast. 316 00:14:09,856 --> 00:14:11,856 Dave, why don't you pour everyone some more wine? 317 00:14:11,925 --> 00:14:14,025 Yeah, that's a great idea. 318 00:14:15,428 --> 00:14:16,598 Okay. 319 00:14:16,663 --> 00:14:18,323 Calvin, here you go. 320 00:14:18,398 --> 00:14:20,698 Tina. Thank you. 321 00:14:20,767 --> 00:14:21,797 Dear... 322 00:14:21,868 --> 00:14:23,808 (gasps) Dave! Oh, no! 323 00:14:23,870 --> 00:14:25,010 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.. 324 00:14:25,071 --> 00:14:26,771 I got to go clean this up. Oh, my goodness. 325 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:29,040 I'm so sorry. It got all over your couch-- Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! 326 00:14:29,075 --> 00:14:30,145 Wrong wife, Dave. 327 00:14:36,383 --> 00:14:37,613 Dude. 328 00:14:37,684 --> 00:14:39,784 What is wrong with you, man? 329 00:14:39,853 --> 00:14:41,883 You got to pull it together. I can't! 330 00:14:41,955 --> 00:14:45,625 My hands are all sweaty, my heart is pounding in my throat. 331 00:14:45,692 --> 00:14:49,622 Oh, you mean like the way I felt when I had to give blood today? 332 00:14:52,399 --> 00:14:53,539 Huh? 333 00:14:55,135 --> 00:14:57,735 It took her four stabs to find a vein. 334 00:14:59,706 --> 00:15:03,376 What is up with Dave? He's been acting so weird. 335 00:15:03,443 --> 00:15:05,573 Yeah, even for him. 336 00:15:05,645 --> 00:15:08,875 You know, Calvin's been acting funny, too. 337 00:15:08,948 --> 00:15:10,188 How? 338 00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:12,920 Well, if a mosquito was gonna give Dave West Nile, 339 00:15:12,986 --> 00:15:14,516 I don't think Calvin would stop it. 340 00:15:16,656 --> 00:15:18,656 Maybe it's because they're in the same club. 341 00:15:18,725 --> 00:15:20,155 What club? 342 00:15:20,226 --> 00:15:22,496 The recycling club. 343 00:15:22,562 --> 00:15:24,722 I saw them outside last night whispering about it. 344 00:15:26,833 --> 00:15:28,663 Oh, really? 345 00:15:28,735 --> 00:15:31,705 Yeah, then Dad gave Mr. Calvin some money. 346 00:15:35,341 --> 00:15:36,701 How much money? 347 00:15:36,776 --> 00:15:40,416 I don't know, probably like a million dollars. 348 00:15:41,981 --> 00:15:43,241 Hmm. 349 00:15:43,316 --> 00:15:45,246 Okay, sweetie, why don't you run off to bed? 350 00:15:45,318 --> 00:15:48,618 Okay... but save that empty bottle for me. 351 00:15:48,688 --> 00:15:51,228 I want to join that club and get paid. 352 00:15:55,428 --> 00:15:58,028 You know, that little boy is getting blacker and blacker. 353 00:15:59,299 --> 00:16:01,799 I can't believe Dave gave Calvin that money. 354 00:16:01,868 --> 00:16:04,868 I specifically told him I was trying to honor our friendship. 355 00:16:04,938 --> 00:16:06,538 I told Calvin the same thing, 356 00:16:06,606 --> 00:16:08,706 but apparently their egos are more important. 357 00:16:08,775 --> 00:16:10,575 This could have gotten really ugly. 358 00:16:10,643 --> 00:16:12,443 If you'd found out about Dave paying Calvin 359 00:16:12,512 --> 00:16:14,112 and thought that I was okay with it... 360 00:16:14,180 --> 00:16:15,320 I would've been pissed. 361 00:16:15,381 --> 00:16:17,041 Yeah, and then we would've been in a fight. 362 00:16:17,117 --> 00:16:20,217 (chuckles) Not a real one. 363 00:16:20,286 --> 00:16:22,386 You don't want to catch these hands. 364 00:16:23,456 --> 00:16:25,086 And all because of them. 365 00:16:25,158 --> 00:16:26,628 They should be taught a lesson. 366 00:16:26,693 --> 00:16:27,953 How? 367 00:16:28,027 --> 00:16:30,127 Maybe we should get into a fight. 368 00:16:30,196 --> 00:16:34,096 Okay. But I don't want to catch those hands. 369 00:16:37,570 --> 00:16:40,410 Come on, man, look, we just have to make it through dinner 370 00:16:40,473 --> 00:16:42,273 and we never have to see each other again. 371 00:16:46,379 --> 00:16:48,449 How is that gonna fix my problem? 372 00:16:48,515 --> 00:16:51,785 It doesn't. It fixes mine. 373 00:16:51,851 --> 00:16:54,681 You know, I cannot believe you, Gemma Johnson! 374 00:16:54,754 --> 00:16:56,584 We're supposed to be friends, but you're... 375 00:16:56,656 --> 00:16:58,326 you're just the liar next door. 376 00:16:59,692 --> 00:17:01,522 We are friends, Tina. 377 00:17:01,594 --> 00:17:03,924 You have to believe me, I didn't know. 378 00:17:03,997 --> 00:17:05,267 Okay, what is going on? 379 00:17:05,331 --> 00:17:07,691 I found out the truth that Dave gave you the money. 380 00:17:07,767 --> 00:17:10,967 Oh, okay. Oh, God. 381 00:17:11,037 --> 00:17:14,537 And that Gemma was the one who forced you both to do it. 382 00:17:14,607 --> 00:17:15,977 Yes. What? 383 00:17:16,042 --> 00:17:17,602 Yes, it was her. 384 00:17:18,678 --> 00:17:20,218 You know what, Tina? 385 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:22,880 I am sick of you and your false accusations. 386 00:17:22,949 --> 00:17:25,449 Disrespect me one more time and see what happens. 387 00:17:28,621 --> 00:17:32,351 Oh, really, you little fake-ass Barbie? 388 00:17:32,425 --> 00:17:33,795 (gasps) 389 00:17:33,860 --> 00:17:36,130 What you gonna do? 390 00:17:36,196 --> 00:17:37,366 Tell me what you gonna do. 391 00:17:37,430 --> 00:17:39,170 Oh, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. 392 00:17:39,232 --> 00:17:40,892 I'm gonna make you catch these hands. 393 00:17:40,967 --> 00:17:42,797 Whoa, whoa, whoa! (overlapping shouting) 394 00:17:42,869 --> 00:17:44,369 Did you hear what she said to me?! 395 00:17:44,437 --> 00:17:45,667 Tina, please. 396 00:17:45,738 --> 00:17:49,078 Gemma had nothing to do with this. 397 00:17:49,142 --> 00:17:50,902 She didn't? 398 00:17:50,977 --> 00:17:52,047 No. 399 00:17:52,111 --> 00:17:54,211 Is this true, Calvin? 400 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:56,650 Yeah, he's right, babe. 401 00:17:56,716 --> 00:17:57,886 It was all Dave. 402 00:18:02,288 --> 00:18:04,888 Seriously, Calvin? 403 00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:07,558 Look, fine, it was both of us. 404 00:18:07,627 --> 00:18:09,097 We're really sorry. 405 00:18:14,901 --> 00:18:17,531 Yay! (laughs) We got you! 406 00:18:17,604 --> 00:18:19,104 We were just pretending to fight. 407 00:18:19,172 --> 00:18:21,532 Oh, my God! You were so good. 408 00:18:21,608 --> 00:18:23,278 Oh, my God, no, you were so good. 409 00:18:23,343 --> 00:18:24,843 "The liar next door." 410 00:18:24,911 --> 00:18:27,371 You know, that just came to me in the moment. 411 00:18:27,447 --> 00:18:29,017 Oh, my God, you're so good. Now, hold on. 412 00:18:29,082 --> 00:18:32,512 This whole thing was fake just to make us look like fools? 413 00:18:32,585 --> 00:18:34,285 Yeah, and it worked. (laughs) 414 00:18:36,656 --> 00:18:38,956 My heart is racing. 415 00:18:39,025 --> 00:18:41,195 Oh, my God, I'm pumped. Let's go out. 416 00:18:41,261 --> 00:18:43,961 Yeah, maybe get into a real fight. 417 00:18:44,030 --> 00:18:45,600 Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow your roll, Gemma. 418 00:18:46,933 --> 00:18:48,063 Hold up, 419 00:18:48,134 --> 00:18:49,564 y'all just gonna leave us? 420 00:18:49,636 --> 00:18:52,736 Hell yeah. You two totally went behind our backs 421 00:18:52,805 --> 00:18:55,405 when we were supposed to be partners. 422 00:18:55,475 --> 00:18:57,745 Yeah, Dave, if I wanted to marry a liar, 423 00:18:57,810 --> 00:18:59,610 I would have stayed in Hickory Corners. 424 00:19:04,651 --> 00:19:07,251 Damn, dude, how bad is that place? 425 00:19:13,192 --> 00:19:15,222 So, um, how was your date with Ebony? I bet it sucked. 426 00:19:15,294 --> 00:19:17,064 Au contraire, mon frère. 427 00:19:17,130 --> 00:19:18,930 It was like something out of a movie, okay? 428 00:19:18,998 --> 00:19:21,868 Think Romeo and Juliet meets Lady and the Tramp. 429 00:19:21,934 --> 00:19:24,204 Oh, so you guys had spaghetti 430 00:19:24,270 --> 00:19:26,540 and then she killed herself? 431 00:19:27,874 --> 00:19:29,104 No. 432 00:19:29,175 --> 00:19:30,545 We went to the park with her dogs, 433 00:19:30,610 --> 00:19:33,050 and their names are Romeo and Juliet. 434 00:19:33,112 --> 00:19:35,642 That sounds super lame. (laughs) 435 00:19:35,715 --> 00:19:37,985 Well, that long hug I got at the end wasn't. 436 00:19:38,050 --> 00:19:39,220 What'd you guys do? 437 00:19:39,285 --> 00:19:41,385 Well... (clears throat) I picked her up... 438 00:19:41,454 --> 00:19:43,884 On the bus. 439 00:19:43,956 --> 00:19:45,626 We went to a poetry reading... 440 00:19:45,691 --> 00:19:47,091 That was free. 441 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:48,960 And then I dropped her off at her place... 442 00:19:49,028 --> 00:19:50,328 Because you don't have your own. 443 00:19:50,396 --> 00:19:51,496 (chuckles) 444 00:19:51,531 --> 00:19:53,661 (overlapping arguing) 445 00:19:53,733 --> 00:19:56,193 Malcolm? Marty? 446 00:19:56,235 --> 00:19:57,835 Ebony? Hey. 447 00:19:57,904 --> 00:20:00,274 You guys know each other? Uh, yeah. 448 00:20:00,339 --> 00:20:01,339 How? 449 00:20:01,407 --> 00:20:03,277 Well... Well, uh... 450 00:20:03,342 --> 00:20:04,572 We-we-we... 451 00:20:04,644 --> 00:20:05,904 Oh, they brothers. 452 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,420 Are you ready, beautiful? 453 00:20:09,482 --> 00:20:12,242 What? Now-now, wait-wait-wait, wait a second. 454 00:20:12,318 --> 00:20:13,618 How do you two know each other? 455 00:20:13,686 --> 00:20:16,016 Oh, we're a match. Yeah. 456 00:20:16,088 --> 00:20:18,088 Turns out I do like online shopping. 457 00:20:18,157 --> 00:20:20,157 (chuckles) 458 00:20:22,428 --> 00:20:24,268 Wow. 459 00:20:24,330 --> 00:20:26,530 (sighs) 460 00:20:26,599 --> 00:20:28,639 Well, maybe that's for the best. 461 00:20:28,701 --> 00:20:31,201 You know what? Yeah, you're right. I mean, we're brothers. 462 00:20:31,270 --> 00:20:32,670 Right. (both laugh) 463 00:20:32,738 --> 00:20:35,178 (phones chime) Oh, please, not again. 464 00:20:35,241 --> 00:20:36,371 Okay, 465 00:20:36,442 --> 00:20:38,942 let's just look and say the names on three. 466 00:20:39,011 --> 00:20:40,841 Ready? Okay. 467 00:20:40,913 --> 00:20:42,273 BOTH: One... two... three. 468 00:20:42,348 --> 00:20:44,288 Laura! (sighs) Tracey! Oh, God, thank you. 469 00:20:44,350 --> 00:20:46,020 Captioning sponsored by CBS