1
00:00:05,287 --> 00:00:09,157
Tiger Butler lines up
for his big drive.
2
00:00:09,204 --> 00:00:12,244
The gallery oohs
in anticipation.
3
00:00:12,294 --> 00:00:16,474
I said the gallery oohs
in anticipation.
4
00:00:16,515 --> 00:00:18,035
[weakly]:
Ooh.
5
00:00:20,041 --> 00:00:23,261
The gallery forgets Tiger
let him live here rent free.
6
00:00:23,305 --> 00:00:24,695
Whoo!
7
00:00:24,741 --> 00:00:26,951
Oh!
8
00:00:27,004 --> 00:00:28,964
Oh, a beautiful shot!
9
00:00:29,006 --> 00:00:30,486
400 yards.
10
00:00:30,529 --> 00:00:33,009
It bounces once,
it bounces again...
11
00:00:33,054 --> 00:00:35,054
Can you just get
to the hole in one already?
12
00:00:35,099 --> 00:00:36,799
It's your fifth one in a row.
13
00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:39,110
It's his fifth one in a row!
14
00:00:39,147 --> 00:00:41,147
He might just be
the greatest of...
15
00:00:41,192 --> 00:00:43,152
All time.Of all time!
16
00:00:44,891 --> 00:00:45,841
Yeah.
17
00:00:45,892 --> 00:00:47,712
Get in the hole!
18
00:00:48,895 --> 00:00:52,115
Ooh! That's a monster
drive, and it's...
19
00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:53,820
in the hole!
20
00:00:53,857 --> 00:00:56,117
The crowd goes wild.
21
00:00:56,164 --> 00:00:57,464
I can't believe I'm saying this,
22
00:00:57,513 --> 00:00:59,163
but why can't you be
more like Dave?
23
00:01:01,125 --> 00:01:02,905
I didn't know you
played golf, Calvin.
24
00:01:02,953 --> 00:01:04,913
Yeah, I used to, but then I had
25
00:01:04,955 --> 00:01:07,825
this one and the other one,
now I'm a two handicap.
26
00:01:09,046 --> 00:01:11,136
You know, I used to play
all the time back at home
27
00:01:11,179 --> 00:01:13,009
until a gang took
over our course.
28
00:01:13,050 --> 00:01:15,190
Oh, I didn't know they
had gangs in Kalamazoo.
29
00:01:15,226 --> 00:01:16,876
Canada geese.
30
00:01:18,273 --> 00:01:22,103
For Canadians,
incredibly vicious.
31
00:01:22,146 --> 00:01:23,716
So what's going on,
you playing soon?
32
00:01:23,756 --> 00:01:25,936
Yeah, a customer gave me
a couple of guest rounds
33
00:01:25,976 --> 00:01:27,156
at Hillmount.
34
00:01:27,195 --> 00:01:29,155
Ooh, Hillmount.
Yeah.
35
00:01:29,197 --> 00:01:31,327
That's exclusive.
Well, have fun.
36
00:01:31,373 --> 00:01:33,633
Hey, Dave, since you play,
why don't you come with me?
37
00:01:38,162 --> 00:01:39,642
Are you inviting Dave?
38
00:01:39,685 --> 00:01:43,735
Yeah... are you inviting Dave?
39
00:01:43,776 --> 00:01:44,956
Yes.
40
00:01:44,995 --> 00:01:46,695
[chuckles] Uh, this Dave?
41
00:01:46,736 --> 00:01:48,346
Yes.
42
00:01:48,390 --> 00:01:51,400
Well, in that case, Dave is in.
43
00:01:51,436 --> 00:01:54,696
Can Dave stop talking in third
person? I only have two passes.
44
00:01:54,744 --> 00:01:56,004
I'm sorry, Dave's just excited
45
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:57,449
because he's been waiting
for this moment
46
00:01:57,486 --> 00:01:58,796
for a really long time.
47
00:01:58,835 --> 00:02:01,575
And Calvin's starting
to regret it.
48
00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:03,760
Malcolm's just really confused.
49
00:02:05,363 --> 00:02:07,233
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
50
00:02:07,278 --> 00:02:08,538
♪ Welcome to the hood.
51
00:02:19,464 --> 00:02:21,374
How do I look?
52
00:02:21,423 --> 00:02:23,253
Like you're ready
to hit a golf ball,
53
00:02:23,294 --> 00:02:26,474
look for it, not find it,
and do it again for four hours.
54
00:02:28,256 --> 00:02:29,386
Can I come?
55
00:02:29,431 --> 00:02:30,731
Ooh, sorry, buddy,
56
00:02:30,780 --> 00:02:31,790
Mr. Calvin only had
one extra pass,
57
00:02:31,824 --> 00:02:32,954
and, uh...
[chuckles]
58
00:02:32,999 --> 00:02:34,879
he gave it to me.
59
00:02:36,481 --> 00:02:39,221
Sweetie, I know how excited
you are that Calvin invited you
60
00:02:39,267 --> 00:02:40,617
to do something one-on-one,
61
00:02:40,659 --> 00:02:42,799
but maybe you should try
to play it a little cool.
62
00:02:42,835 --> 00:02:44,275
I know, y-you're right,
63
00:02:44,315 --> 00:02:46,275
sometimes my enthusiasm
can get the best of me.
64
00:02:46,317 --> 00:02:47,977
The last thing
I want to do is...
65
00:02:48,014 --> 00:02:50,194
[car horn honks]Got to go.
66
00:02:50,234 --> 00:02:51,754
Don't wait up.
67
00:02:51,801 --> 00:02:54,451
Well, kiddo, I guess
it's just you and...
Bye, Mom.
68
00:02:54,499 --> 00:02:56,029
Wait, where are you going?
69
00:02:56,066 --> 00:02:59,246
Next door to play video games
with Malcolm and Marty.
70
00:02:59,287 --> 00:03:01,157
I thought you and I
were gonna hang out.
71
00:03:01,202 --> 00:03:04,242
Thanks, but I'm not really
in the mood for mom stuff.
72
00:03:04,292 --> 00:03:05,942
What, Mom stuff?
73
00:03:05,989 --> 00:03:07,389
Wait, what's that
supposed to mean?
74
00:03:07,425 --> 00:03:11,825
Well, there's mom stuff
and there's fun stuff.
75
00:03:11,864 --> 00:03:15,254
Wha...? I'm fun.
76
00:03:15,303 --> 00:03:17,173
Yeah, but not
like Dad.
77
00:03:17,218 --> 00:03:18,438
Last week
78
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:19,880
we chopped a worm in half,
79
00:03:19,916 --> 00:03:22,266
and it turned into two worms.
80
00:03:22,310 --> 00:03:26,540
Well, moms can do
fun stuff, too.
81
00:03:26,575 --> 00:03:28,835
Ooh, I know, we could go
to Color Me Mine
82
00:03:28,881 --> 00:03:33,181
and paint some ceramic swans.
You used to love that, remember?
83
00:03:33,234 --> 00:03:36,844
Oh, we can go crazy
and paint the feathers purple.
84
00:03:36,889 --> 00:03:38,809
I'll be next door.
85
00:03:41,546 --> 00:03:44,116
Oh, thank you, my good man.
86
00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:45,987
Oh, sir?
Yeah?
87
00:03:46,029 --> 00:03:47,559
I'm sorry, there's actually
no hats allowed
88
00:03:47,596 --> 00:03:48,776
inside the clubhouse.
89
00:03:48,814 --> 00:03:50,854
Good to know. All right.
90
00:03:50,903 --> 00:03:54,953
You know what?
Here's a little tip for the tip.
91
00:03:54,994 --> 00:03:56,694
Thank you.
92
00:03:56,735 --> 00:03:58,645
Calvin,
what's going on?
93
00:03:58,694 --> 00:04:00,084
You've tipped four people
94
00:04:00,130 --> 00:04:01,880
since we got out of the car,
including Michael Keaton,
95
00:04:01,914 --> 00:04:03,874
who I'm pretty sure
does not work here.
96
00:04:03,916 --> 00:04:07,706
I mean, he was
Batman and Mr. Mom.
97
00:04:07,746 --> 00:04:09,226
That guy has range.
98
00:04:11,272 --> 00:04:13,182
I'm just saying
it's not like you.
99
00:04:13,230 --> 00:04:15,240
Well, you know what else
isn't like me?
100
00:04:15,276 --> 00:04:17,716
Everyone here.
Take a look around, Dave.
101
00:04:17,756 --> 00:04:21,016
Okay, yes, we know
you're the only one
102
00:04:21,064 --> 00:04:23,024
who can pull off
matching argyle.
103
00:04:24,067 --> 00:04:27,637
No, Dave-- well, yes.
104
00:04:27,679 --> 00:04:30,689
But what I meant was
I'm the only black guy here.
105
00:04:32,554 --> 00:04:34,294
Huh.
106
00:04:36,558 --> 00:04:38,218
Well, I didn't even notice.
107
00:04:38,255 --> 00:04:40,605
That's because you don't
have to have your antenna up.
108
00:04:40,649 --> 00:04:41,739
What does that mean?
109
00:04:41,780 --> 00:04:44,220
It means that you
naturally fit in,
110
00:04:44,261 --> 00:04:45,391
but I stand out.
111
00:04:45,436 --> 00:04:47,176
That's why I have to
dress sharp, man,
112
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:49,880
and give out a bunch of tips
to people that don't deserve it.
113
00:04:49,919 --> 00:04:53,709
Okay, well, what about
Michael Keaton?
114
00:04:53,749 --> 00:04:56,279
I snuck in the movie theater
to see Beetlejuice,
115
00:04:56,317 --> 00:04:57,797
so I felt like I owed him.
116
00:05:00,146 --> 00:05:02,366
Look, as the only
black guy in the room,
117
00:05:02,410 --> 00:05:05,460
you just know that
everybody's waiting on you
118
00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:08,200
to reinforce the
negative stereotypes.
119
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:09,591
That's why I have
to represent.
120
00:05:09,634 --> 00:05:12,684
Okay, Calvin, I think
you're being ridiculous.
121
00:05:12,724 --> 00:05:14,764
No one here is seeing you
as a representative
122
00:05:14,813 --> 00:05:16,203
of all black people.
123
00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:19,129
Are you sure? Because
you're the only person
124
00:05:19,165 --> 00:05:22,515
I know from Kalamazoo, and
I assume that everyone there
125
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:25,350
is overly positive
and always smiling
126
00:05:25,389 --> 00:05:26,999
and giving babies
high fives.
127
00:05:27,043 --> 00:05:30,783
Well, yes, of course
we're positive.
128
00:05:30,829 --> 00:05:33,709
Calvin, it's the celery
capital of the world!
129
00:05:35,834 --> 00:05:38,614
I think it's so cute
that Calvin and Dave
130
00:05:38,663 --> 00:05:40,313
are on their little "man date."
131
00:05:40,361 --> 00:05:42,141
Dave was so excited
this morning,
132
00:05:42,188 --> 00:05:45,808
it took him a half hour to pick
out "the right pair of khakis."
133
00:05:45,844 --> 00:05:47,804
Calvin tried not to show it,
134
00:05:47,846 --> 00:05:49,636
but I could tell
he was excited, too.
135
00:05:49,674 --> 00:05:51,194
Oh, really? How?
136
00:05:51,241 --> 00:05:53,461
I don't know, girl, I'm just
trying to throw you a bone.
137
00:05:53,504 --> 00:05:55,024
[laughs]
138
00:05:56,768 --> 00:05:58,168
Can I ask you
a question?
139
00:05:58,204 --> 00:06:00,074
Do you think I'm fun?
140
00:06:00,119 --> 00:06:01,859
Of course. Why?
141
00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:04,074
Well, Grover didn't want
to hang out with me today
142
00:06:04,123 --> 00:06:07,083
because he says I only do
"boring mom stuff."
143
00:06:07,126 --> 00:06:09,996
[sighs] Not the ceramic swan
painting again.
144
00:06:10,042 --> 00:06:12,342
You said you loved that.
145
00:06:12,393 --> 00:06:14,433
Again, another bone.
146
00:06:14,482 --> 00:06:17,352
Look, don't
worry about it,
147
00:06:17,398 --> 00:06:20,928
Grover's just going through
a daddy phase. It's natural.
148
00:06:20,966 --> 00:06:25,446
All he and Dave do for fun
are violent and dirty things,
149
00:06:25,493 --> 00:06:27,453
mostly to worms.
150
00:06:27,495 --> 00:06:29,755
Don't worry about it,
he'll come back around.
151
00:06:29,801 --> 00:06:33,321
Now that my boys are grown,
I'm back to being number one.
152
00:06:33,370 --> 00:06:36,460
'Sup, mamas?
Mmm, Marty,
153
00:06:36,504 --> 00:06:38,024
who's cooler, me or your dad?
154
00:06:38,070 --> 00:06:39,990
Is this a trap?
155
00:06:42,031 --> 00:06:44,241
Of course not, baby,
I just want your honest opinion.
156
00:06:44,294 --> 00:06:46,424
Oh, well, "cool"
is kind of subjective...
157
00:06:46,470 --> 00:06:48,220
No, it's not!
Cool is what your mother is.
158
00:06:50,256 --> 00:06:52,386
Okay, uh, well,
it-it-it's kind of like,
159
00:06:52,433 --> 00:06:54,213
Dad is cool in dad ways,
160
00:06:54,260 --> 00:06:56,790
like when he restores old cars
or schools everybody at poker,
161
00:06:56,828 --> 00:07:00,658
and-and you're cool, you're
cool in-in mom ways, like,
162
00:07:00,702 --> 00:07:02,872
like when you cut my sandwiches
into little butterflies.
163
00:07:05,271 --> 00:07:06,791
All right.
164
00:07:09,058 --> 00:07:11,058
Welcome to the boring mom club.
165
00:07:11,103 --> 00:07:13,843
Oh, hell no.
No, that's not fair.
166
00:07:13,889 --> 00:07:15,939
Just because we have to be
the responsible ones,
167
00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:17,548
dads get to have all the fun?
168
00:07:17,588 --> 00:07:21,248
[sighs] What were you
gonna do today?
169
00:07:21,287 --> 00:07:23,117
Hello? Ceramic swans.
170
00:07:24,465 --> 00:07:26,205
No, okay?
171
00:07:26,249 --> 00:07:29,739
We're gonna show those boys that
moms can be just as fun as dads.
172
00:07:29,774 --> 00:07:31,384
Get your purse,
we're going shopping.
173
00:07:31,428 --> 00:07:33,428
For what?
174
00:07:34,562 --> 00:07:36,382
[screaming]
175
00:07:36,433 --> 00:07:38,693
It's on, suckas!
Yeah!
176
00:07:38,740 --> 00:07:42,100
We're gonna make you regret
the day we gave birth to you.
177
00:07:42,134 --> 00:07:44,134
[screams]
178
00:07:46,095 --> 00:07:49,615
I got to admit, Dave,
your golf game isn't half bad.
179
00:07:49,664 --> 00:07:51,534
You had me on my toes
there for a while.
180
00:07:51,579 --> 00:07:55,589
Yeah, until that stupid
goose attacked me.
[laughs]
181
00:07:55,626 --> 00:07:59,236
Oh, yeah, yeah,
he got you good. Look,
182
00:07:59,282 --> 00:08:01,632
there you are hiding
in the sand trap.
183
00:08:03,895 --> 00:08:05,415
And there he is
finding you.
184
00:08:05,462 --> 00:08:07,202
[laughs]
185
00:08:07,246 --> 00:08:08,946
You know, I could've
used some backup.
186
00:08:08,987 --> 00:08:10,557
Oh, street rules, Dave.
187
00:08:10,598 --> 00:08:13,038
His boys stayed out of it,
I stayed out of it.
188
00:08:13,078 --> 00:08:15,688
I'll tell you what,
189
00:08:15,733 --> 00:08:18,433
I'll make it up to you.
Lunch is on me, all right?
190
00:08:18,475 --> 00:08:22,475
Uh, maybe they got duck on the
menu, you can get some revenge.
191
00:08:22,523 --> 00:08:24,133
Sounds good. I'm gonna
go to the bathroom
192
00:08:24,176 --> 00:08:27,876
and get this, uh,
sand out of my pants.
193
00:08:27,919 --> 00:08:30,579
Hello there, um, table for two.
194
00:08:30,618 --> 00:08:32,838
Certainly. Uh, it's gonna be
about a half an hour
195
00:08:32,881 --> 00:08:34,311
to 40 minutes.
Is that all right?
196
00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:36,760
Okay, sure, um, name's Butler.
197
00:08:38,016 --> 00:08:41,366
Oh... I gave my last five
to the groundskeeper
198
00:08:41,411 --> 00:08:43,891
to sic a goose on my friend.
199
00:08:43,935 --> 00:08:45,505
We'll call your name
when your table's ready.
200
00:08:45,546 --> 00:08:48,026
I sicced a goose on my friend.
201
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:54,465
So the bathroom
attendant told me
202
00:08:54,511 --> 00:08:56,731
that it was mating season,
so apparently
203
00:08:56,774 --> 00:08:58,164
the goose was just
really into me.
204
00:08:58,210 --> 00:08:59,560
[laughs]
205
00:08:59,603 --> 00:09:00,773
Hey, did you put
our name in?
206
00:09:00,822 --> 00:09:03,172
Yeah, but he said
it's gonna be, like,
207
00:09:03,215 --> 00:09:06,525
a half an hour to 40 minutes.
You know what? You should ask.
208
00:09:06,567 --> 00:09:07,827
Why?
209
00:09:07,872 --> 00:09:10,002
Because of your
charm and good looks.
210
00:09:10,048 --> 00:09:11,658
Oh, really?
211
00:09:11,702 --> 00:09:14,962
No, Dave, because you're white.
212
00:09:15,010 --> 00:09:18,020
You really think that's gonna
help us get a table faster?
213
00:09:18,056 --> 00:09:19,446
Look, it might.
214
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,532
It's like when you're trying
to go into a nightclub,
215
00:09:21,582 --> 00:09:22,972
you get to skip the line
216
00:09:23,018 --> 00:09:24,848
if you walk in
with a beautiful lady.
217
00:09:24,889 --> 00:09:28,329
So, because I'm white,
I'm your beautiful lady?
218
00:09:28,371 --> 00:09:29,671
[chuckles]
219
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:31,380
The goose thought so.
220
00:09:31,417 --> 00:09:33,687
Okay.
[laughs]
221
00:09:33,724 --> 00:09:36,554
Calvin, it's not gonna
make any difference.
222
00:09:36,597 --> 00:09:38,387
All right, well, prove me wrong.
223
00:09:38,424 --> 00:09:40,204
Happily.
224
00:09:40,252 --> 00:09:41,862
Hi.
225
00:09:41,906 --> 00:09:44,166
Uh, yeah, excuse me, uh, can
I get a table for two, please?
226
00:09:44,213 --> 00:09:45,643
Of course,
but it's gonna be about
227
00:09:45,693 --> 00:09:48,303
a half an hour to 40 minutes.
Is that all right?
228
00:09:48,347 --> 00:09:50,347
Oh, it's great.
Uh, the name's Johnson.
229
00:09:52,395 --> 00:09:54,175
You were wrong.
230
00:09:54,223 --> 00:09:56,653
30 to 40 minutes,
just the same as you.
231
00:09:56,704 --> 00:09:59,224
I mean, well,
it was worth a try.
232
00:09:59,271 --> 00:10:01,401
Yeah, well, you're lucky
I'm not the kind of guy to say,
233
00:10:01,447 --> 00:10:02,577
"I told you so," because...
234
00:10:02,623 --> 00:10:05,053
Johnson, party of two,
your table's ready.
235
00:10:05,103 --> 00:10:08,193
[chuckles]
Ladies first.
236
00:10:16,898 --> 00:10:20,858
Great table, Dave.
Thanks for being born so pale.
237
00:10:20,902 --> 00:10:22,642
Would you stop it?
238
00:10:22,686 --> 00:10:24,866
Look, you can thank me for
my kindness, my cheerful spirit,
239
00:10:24,906 --> 00:10:27,216
or my signature guacamole,
but not this.
240
00:10:27,256 --> 00:10:30,216
Because you know this
was a mistake, right?
241
00:10:30,259 --> 00:10:31,569
No, the only mistake
was not pulling
242
00:10:31,608 --> 00:10:33,478
my "Dave card" out sooner.
243
00:10:33,523 --> 00:10:36,003
I mean, the reward points
are amazing.
244
00:10:36,047 --> 00:10:39,137
Ooh, fish tacos!
245
00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:41,051
You know, I'm sure
there's a perfectly logical
246
00:10:41,096 --> 00:10:42,486
explanation for this.
247
00:10:42,532 --> 00:10:43,702
Uh, excuse me.
248
00:10:43,751 --> 00:10:45,141
Yes? Is everything all right?
249
00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:46,887
Yeah, just a quick question, um,
250
00:10:46,928 --> 00:10:49,238
you know, my friend here put
his name down before I did,
251
00:10:49,278 --> 00:10:51,718
and-and somehow
I got a table first.
252
00:10:51,759 --> 00:10:53,549
I am so sorry.
253
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:56,156
We were totally swamped,
uh, we had a cancellation,
254
00:10:56,198 --> 00:10:57,808
you were the last person
I had spoken to...
255
00:10:57,852 --> 00:10:58,982
Look, there's no excuse.
256
00:10:59,027 --> 00:11:00,817
Please, uh,
let me comp your meal.
257
00:11:00,855 --> 00:11:03,035
Oh, thank you.Of course.
258
00:11:03,074 --> 00:11:04,904
You see that?
259
00:11:04,946 --> 00:11:08,336
A completely innocent mix-up.
Race had nothing to do with it.
260
00:11:08,384 --> 00:11:10,824
All right, think what
you want to, Dave.
261
00:11:10,865 --> 00:11:12,995
All I know is my Dave card
got me upgraded
262
00:11:13,041 --> 00:11:15,471
from fish tacos to lobster.
263
00:11:18,699 --> 00:11:22,709
Whoa, cool!
264
00:11:22,746 --> 00:11:25,316
I thought you said I
couldn't play with guns.
265
00:11:25,357 --> 00:11:27,277
Well, that was before
you said I wasn't fun.
266
00:11:27,316 --> 00:11:29,666
Besides, these aren't guns,
they're blasters.
267
00:11:29,710 --> 00:11:31,320
But don't tell your teachers.
268
00:11:32,582 --> 00:11:35,452
All right, let's do this.
What are the teams?
269
00:11:35,498 --> 00:11:38,638
Johnsons versus Butlers.
Battle for the block!
270
00:11:38,675 --> 00:11:40,325
Ooh![laughs]
271
00:11:40,372 --> 00:11:42,982
Really, Gemma?
You two versus us three?
272
00:11:43,027 --> 00:11:44,287
It's, like, a little kid
and his mom...
273
00:11:44,333 --> 00:11:46,333
MALCOLM:
Ooh.
274
00:11:49,686 --> 00:11:51,206
Oh, it's on.
275
00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:53,553
Ooh!Come on, Grover, take cover!
276
00:11:53,603 --> 00:11:56,343
Troops, take your positions![shouts]
277
00:11:58,913 --> 00:12:00,823
[shouts]
278
00:12:00,871 --> 00:12:02,741
Marty, Marty.
279
00:12:04,614 --> 00:12:07,184
What? I-I see you, Mom.
Hi. Ah...
280
00:12:07,225 --> 00:12:09,355
Malcolm, Malcolm.
281
00:12:09,401 --> 00:12:10,701
Yeah, I got you, Ma.
282
00:12:10,751 --> 00:12:12,011
Black power!
283
00:12:14,842 --> 00:12:16,792
Hey, hey, guys,
just cover me, all right?
284
00:12:16,844 --> 00:12:19,014
I'm going in.
[grunting]
285
00:12:26,027 --> 00:12:28,687
Now let me show you
how it's done.
286
00:12:29,857 --> 00:12:31,167
Wait, wait! Ow, ow!
287
00:12:31,206 --> 00:12:32,336
Ow! Ah...
288
00:12:34,513 --> 00:12:36,073
That's how it's done!
289
00:12:36,124 --> 00:12:39,384
Get him, boys,
defend your mother!
290
00:12:39,431 --> 00:12:41,171
[shouts] Come on, Grover,
retreat, retreat.
291
00:12:41,216 --> 00:12:42,396
Back to home base.
292
00:12:42,434 --> 00:12:44,434
[shouting]
293
00:12:46,134 --> 00:12:47,784
[cheers]
Boys!
294
00:12:47,831 --> 00:12:49,171
Boys, wait!
295
00:12:49,224 --> 00:12:50,924
You want us to hold
our position here?
296
00:12:50,965 --> 00:12:52,575
No. Come help me up.
297
00:12:52,618 --> 00:12:54,618
My barrel roll
ain't what it used to be.
298
00:12:56,753 --> 00:12:59,323
Just so you know, even though
they comped this meal,
299
00:12:59,364 --> 00:13:01,534
it still counts as my treat.
300
00:13:01,584 --> 00:13:04,584
Okay, you know,
Calvin, tell me this,
301
00:13:04,630 --> 00:13:07,860
if this place is so racist, why
were you willing to eat here?
302
00:13:07,895 --> 00:13:10,205
No one said it was racist.
303
00:13:10,245 --> 00:13:13,205
I just saw an opportunity
to use your white privilege.
304
00:13:13,248 --> 00:13:16,688
And it's delicious.
305
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:18,429
I got a table by mistake.
306
00:13:18,470 --> 00:13:20,780
I don't think that's exactly
white privilege.
307
00:13:20,821 --> 00:13:22,561
See? That's white privilege
right there.
308
00:13:22,605 --> 00:13:25,175
Not knowing
that you're benefiting from it.
309
00:13:25,216 --> 00:13:26,866
Okay, I-I know that
310
00:13:26,914 --> 00:13:30,044
I have certain social advantages
on occasion
311
00:13:30,091 --> 00:13:32,221
because of the color
of my skin.
312
00:13:32,267 --> 00:13:33,447
I'm woke.
313
00:13:33,485 --> 00:13:36,275
[laughs]
314
00:13:36,314 --> 00:13:38,014
Dave, you about as woke as I am
315
00:13:38,055 --> 00:13:40,235
when Tina puts on a movie
with subtitles.
316
00:13:40,275 --> 00:13:43,755
Okay, well, then,
please enlighten me.
317
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:45,200
[sighs]
318
00:13:45,236 --> 00:13:47,546
Dave, your white privilege
319
00:13:47,586 --> 00:13:49,766
isn't something that kicks in
on occasion,
320
00:13:49,806 --> 00:13:52,376
it's something you benefit
from every day.
321
00:13:52,417 --> 00:13:54,767
You play by a different
set of rules.
322
00:13:54,811 --> 00:13:57,421
It's like life is golf,
and you get to tee off
323
00:13:57,466 --> 00:14:00,126
from the women's tee,
which you did.
324
00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:04,864
Only once, and that was
after that goose dug me up
325
00:14:04,908 --> 00:14:05,868
in the sand trap.
326
00:14:07,302 --> 00:14:09,172
[chuckles]: Look, look, man,
it doesn't even matter,
327
00:14:09,217 --> 00:14:11,567
all right?
I'm not mad at youfor it.
328
00:14:11,610 --> 00:14:13,570
Okay, well,
with all due respect,
329
00:14:13,612 --> 00:14:16,392
I ju-- I think you're seeing
something that's not there.
330
00:14:16,441 --> 00:14:18,521
Really? Okay.
331
00:14:18,574 --> 00:14:20,274
Put this on.
332
00:14:20,315 --> 00:14:22,055
Yeah, well,
there's a no-hat policy.
333
00:14:22,099 --> 00:14:23,799
They made you take it off.
334
00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:27,150
Exactly. But I bet if you
put it on, nothing will happen.
335
00:14:27,191 --> 00:14:29,231
Except maybe me looking better
in it than you.
336
00:14:30,281 --> 00:14:33,581
Like I said,
nothing will happen.
337
00:14:33,632 --> 00:14:35,982
Okay, yeah, fine,
but you'll see.
338
00:14:36,026 --> 00:14:38,856
The same rules that apply to you
apply to me.
339
00:14:38,899 --> 00:14:39,899
All right.
340
00:14:43,991 --> 00:14:45,811
I just hope people notice me
in it.
341
00:14:48,691 --> 00:14:50,031
[door thuds][grunts]
342
00:14:50,084 --> 00:14:51,474
All right, soldiers, move in!
343
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:53,000
Move.
344
00:14:53,043 --> 00:14:55,693
All right, Johnsons,
we got you surrounded.
345
00:14:55,741 --> 00:14:57,691
If you don't surrender
in 30 seconds,
346
00:14:57,743 --> 00:14:59,483
we're coming in after you.
347
00:14:59,528 --> 00:15:01,268
We'll never surrender!
348
00:15:01,312 --> 00:15:03,962
Mom, I think we
have to surrender.
349
00:15:04,011 --> 00:15:07,491
Come on, Grover,
don't be such a wuss.
350
00:15:07,536 --> 00:15:08,976
Did you just call me a wuss?
351
00:15:09,016 --> 00:15:10,716
Yeah, what are you gonna do
about it, cry to your mommy?
352
00:15:12,628 --> 00:15:15,238
How could you boys ever think
I wasn't fun?
353
00:15:15,283 --> 00:15:17,453
Oh-- it's not that
you're not fun, Ma,
354
00:15:17,502 --> 00:15:19,852
it's just that Pop's
always more spontaneous.
355
00:15:19,896 --> 00:15:22,416
Oh, well, you don't think
I can be spontaneous?
356
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:24,424
Mom, it's not
your strong suit, so...
357
00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:27,516
[shouts]
God...
358
00:15:27,556 --> 00:15:31,606
What? Do I have a target
on my neck or something?
359
00:15:31,647 --> 00:15:34,177
New game. I'm going in
with the Johnsons!
360
00:15:34,215 --> 00:15:36,345
Yes! See, Grover?
361
00:15:36,391 --> 00:15:38,261
This is why you never surrender.
362
00:15:38,306 --> 00:15:39,486
You were right!
363
00:15:39,524 --> 00:15:40,824
But now you better run.
364
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:42,173
Moms against sons!
365
00:15:42,223 --> 00:15:44,183
Oh, this is the best day ever!
366
00:15:44,225 --> 00:15:46,355
Oh!No!
367
00:15:46,401 --> 00:15:47,921
Leave him! Leave him!
368
00:15:50,753 --> 00:15:53,013
Oh, sweetie, sweetie,
are you okay?
369
00:15:53,060 --> 00:15:55,720
Oh, I think I hit my funny bone.
370
00:15:55,758 --> 00:15:57,978
Oh, do you want Mommy to kiss it
and make it better?
371
00:15:58,021 --> 00:15:59,191
Yeah.
372
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:03,030
See? Sometimes mom stuff
isn't so bad, right?
373
00:16:04,027 --> 00:16:05,207
You okay now?
374
00:16:05,246 --> 00:16:07,026
Yeah, thanks, Mom.
375
00:16:07,074 --> 00:16:08,464
Good.
376
00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:10,650
Now run, wuss!You better run!
377
00:16:10,686 --> 00:16:13,256
Yeah! Go, go!You better run!
378
00:16:15,821 --> 00:16:17,381
This food was delicious.
379
00:16:17,432 --> 00:16:20,432
I, uh, tip my hat to the chef.
380
00:16:21,827 --> 00:16:23,137
But I do not take it off.
381
00:16:25,048 --> 00:16:26,788
It's been ten minutes, Dave.
382
00:16:26,832 --> 00:16:28,742
If that loud "phone call"
383
00:16:28,791 --> 00:16:30,271
thanking your hatmaker
didn't work,
384
00:16:30,314 --> 00:16:32,054
I don't think anything will.
385
00:16:32,099 --> 00:16:34,409
You're right, I'm probably
being too subtle.
386
00:16:34,449 --> 00:16:37,409
Uh, he-- excuse me,
bartender? Uh...
387
00:16:37,452 --> 00:16:41,232
I know it's only the afternoon,
but I sure could use a nightcap.
388
00:16:41,282 --> 00:16:45,112
[chuckles] Do you know
how to make a Man-hat-tan?
389
00:16:46,983 --> 00:16:48,593
[chuckles]
390
00:16:48,637 --> 00:16:50,297
I mean, do you believe me now,
391
00:16:50,334 --> 00:16:53,294
or should we both go outside
and see who can hail a cab?
392
00:16:53,337 --> 00:16:56,077
No, you, you. Perfect.
393
00:16:56,123 --> 00:16:58,253
Anything you want to
say to me? You know,
394
00:16:58,299 --> 00:17:00,439
off the top of your head?
395
00:17:00,475 --> 00:17:04,695
Um, I hope you had a pleasant
experience at Hillmount?
396
00:17:04,740 --> 00:17:07,010
How can you say that?
397
00:17:07,047 --> 00:17:09,227
Because they tell us to?
398
00:17:09,266 --> 00:17:12,396
See? I told you so.
399
00:17:12,443 --> 00:17:14,403
Huh-- do you remember
the rules now?
400
00:17:14,445 --> 00:17:16,575
You're letting him walk around
with the hat on,
401
00:17:16,621 --> 00:17:18,361
but you made me take it off.
402
00:17:18,406 --> 00:17:21,016
Uh, I'm sorry, guys,
I don't want any trouble here.
403
00:17:21,061 --> 00:17:22,401
Well, you found it,
because you're messing
404
00:17:22,453 --> 00:17:24,453
with the wrong
woke white dude.
405
00:17:26,718 --> 00:17:30,118
The rules should be
the same for everyone.
406
00:17:30,157 --> 00:17:31,987
I mean, did you see
what just happened here?
407
00:17:32,028 --> 00:17:33,288
This was a travesty!
408
00:17:33,334 --> 00:17:34,554
Okay, Dave, chill out.
409
00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:36,426
I still have
a cappuccino coming.
410
00:17:36,467 --> 00:17:38,817
No. No, Calvin,
411
00:17:38,861 --> 00:17:41,031
it's-it's not right.
412
00:17:41,081 --> 00:17:43,031
If my friend can't
wear a hat in here,
413
00:17:43,083 --> 00:17:45,433
none of us should be able
to wear a hat in here.
414
00:17:47,913 --> 00:17:51,223
Dave, that's my hat, man.
What the hell?
415
00:17:51,265 --> 00:17:55,135
Yeah, "What the hell?" is right.
Yeah-- what the hell?
416
00:17:55,182 --> 00:17:56,572
What the hell?
417
00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,838
[chanting]:
What the hell? What the hell?
418
00:17:58,881 --> 00:18:01,141
Excuse me, sir, sir, I'm gonna
have to ask you to leave.
419
00:18:01,188 --> 00:18:03,018
Why? Because he's black?
420
00:18:03,059 --> 00:18:05,149
No, because you're trying
to start a riot.
421
00:18:05,192 --> 00:18:07,142
[chuckles]
422
00:18:07,194 --> 00:18:09,584
No, I'm trying
to start a revolution.
423
00:18:12,503 --> 00:18:14,463
Uh...
424
00:18:14,505 --> 00:18:16,375
Look, I'm sorry,
I'm his first black friend.
425
00:18:24,559 --> 00:18:28,309
[exhales] You were pretty quiet
in the car. You all right?
426
00:18:28,345 --> 00:18:30,785
Yeah, just disappointed.
427
00:18:30,826 --> 00:18:32,826
I was really
looking forward to today.
428
00:18:32,871 --> 00:18:34,651
[chuckles]
I'm sorry.
429
00:18:34,699 --> 00:18:36,309
I always forget
how painful it is
430
00:18:36,353 --> 00:18:39,353
when racial inequality affects
you white dudes.
431
00:18:41,358 --> 00:18:43,188
How do you do it?
432
00:18:43,230 --> 00:18:45,630
How do you handle
all the double standards?
433
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,667
I would be angry all the ti...
434
00:18:49,714 --> 00:18:51,324
Is that why you're angry
all the time?
435
00:18:54,371 --> 00:18:57,021
Sometimes.
Sometimes it's other things,
436
00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:59,419
but most of the times it's you.
437
00:19:02,031 --> 00:19:04,681
I mean, let me tell you a story
about getting angry, man.
438
00:19:04,729 --> 00:19:06,339
You know, when I first
wanted to open
439
00:19:06,383 --> 00:19:09,993
my auto shop, I went to a local
bank here to get a loan.
440
00:19:10,039 --> 00:19:13,609
And despite my good credit
and work history,
441
00:19:13,651 --> 00:19:16,081
all they would approve me for
442
00:19:16,132 --> 00:19:18,782
was a crazy disrespectful
interest rate.
443
00:19:18,830 --> 00:19:20,710
So what'd you do?
444
00:19:20,745 --> 00:19:24,875
Well, I wanted to tell them
to kiss my...
445
00:19:24,923 --> 00:19:28,753
but instead I said thank you
446
00:19:28,797 --> 00:19:30,457
and I took the money.
447
00:19:30,494 --> 00:19:33,364
Then I rolled up my sleeves
and I worked hard
448
00:19:33,410 --> 00:19:35,200
and I built my business
449
00:19:35,238 --> 00:19:38,328
and I bought this house
and I raised my family.
450
00:19:38,372 --> 00:19:41,202
And I paid that loan off
three years early.
451
00:19:41,244 --> 00:19:44,294
If I'd have gotten angry,
none of that would've happened.
452
00:19:44,334 --> 00:19:46,594
That must have felt great.
453
00:19:46,641 --> 00:19:48,421
You know what feels better?
454
00:19:48,469 --> 00:19:53,739
Is that my shop is still here,
and that bank is long gone.
455
00:19:54,779 --> 00:19:56,259
Kind of like your hat.
456
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:00,951
Oh, yeah, you're buying me
another hat.
457
00:20:01,003 --> 00:20:03,963
[chuckles] And I hope you get
cash back on your Dave card,
458
00:20:04,006 --> 00:20:05,616
because that thing
wasn't cheap, man.
459
00:20:05,660 --> 00:20:07,270
[laughs]
460
00:20:07,314 --> 00:20:08,614
You want to come on in
for a beer?
461
00:20:08,663 --> 00:20:09,833
Yeah, sure.
462
00:20:09,881 --> 00:20:12,141
[mutters]
463
00:20:13,842 --> 00:20:15,842
No!
What?
464
00:20:18,063 --> 00:20:20,323
Sorry, I...
I thought I heard flapping.
465
00:20:20,370 --> 00:20:22,160
[laughs]
466
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:27,468
Wh-What the hell is this?
467
00:20:29,423 --> 00:20:30,853
Grover, what's going on?
468
00:20:30,902 --> 00:20:32,942
It's a trap![all shouting]
469
00:20:35,255 --> 00:20:36,425
Calvin, cover me!
470
00:20:36,473 --> 00:20:38,773
No, you cover me.
471
00:20:38,823 --> 00:20:40,523
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
472
00:20:40,564 --> 00:20:41,694
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org