1
00:00:01,827 --> 00:00:05,396
Mmm! Mmm! Baby, your pot roast
is my favorite dish.

2
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,398
So, why didn't you
eat more of it, then?

3
00:00:07,442 --> 00:00:10,662
Oh, no. No, I'm not going
into another food coma

4
00:00:10,706 --> 00:00:12,099
on family game night.

5
00:00:13,752 --> 00:00:16,755
Your casserole last week
gave me the itis.

6
00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:19,149
Yeah, you are
the only person

7
00:00:19,193 --> 00:00:22,805
I've ever known to fall asleep
playing Twister.

8
00:00:22,848 --> 00:00:24,763
It was like, left hand on blue,

9
00:00:24,807 --> 00:00:27,853
right hand on green,
drool on yellow. [laughs]

10
00:00:27,897 --> 00:00:29,899
Well, y'all are in trouble
tonight,

11
00:00:29,942 --> 00:00:31,683
because I took a nap at work.

12
00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:37,820
And I'm about to destroy
y'all butts in some Uno.

13
00:00:37,863 --> 00:00:39,648
What is it with you
and that game?

14
00:00:39,691 --> 00:00:41,998
Yeah, man, that box says
it's for seven-year-olds.

15
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:45,871
And up! Don't forget
about the "and up"!

16
00:00:45,915 --> 00:00:47,917
[doorbell rings]

17
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,701
Oh, who's that?

18
00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:52,269
It better not be
Crackhead Victor.

19
00:00:52,313 --> 00:00:56,186
I told him I don't want
to buy no life jacket.

20
00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:58,754
Oh, damn.

21
00:00:58,797 --> 00:01:00,016
Is it Victor?

22
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:03,541
No, worse.
The Johnsons.

23
00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:06,501
Did somebody say
"game night"?

24
00:01:06,544 --> 00:01:07,893
What are you
guys doing here?

25
00:01:07,937 --> 00:01:09,982
I invited them.
Come on in, guys.

26
00:01:10,026 --> 00:01:12,463
When we heard you guys
had a weekly game night,

27
00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:14,074
I got so excited.

28
00:01:15,727 --> 00:01:17,468
Dave loves games.

29
00:01:17,512 --> 00:01:18,904
Yeah, the whole
family does.

30
00:01:18,948 --> 00:01:20,558
Dave loves games.

31
00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:23,126
Okay, maybe I love them

32
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:24,736
a little bit more
than everybody else,

33
00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:26,173
but what's not to love?

34
00:01:26,216 --> 00:01:27,652
People coming together
in the spirit

35
00:01:27,696 --> 00:01:29,828
of competition,
cooperation, camaraderie.

36
00:01:29,872 --> 00:01:32,570
I usually fall asleep.

37
00:01:32,614 --> 00:01:34,181
Okay, Calvin,
what do you say?

38
00:01:34,224 --> 00:01:37,706
You ready to square off
against another OG?

39
00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:40,404
Original gamesta.

40
00:01:42,928 --> 00:01:45,235
Your turn.

41
00:01:45,279 --> 00:01:48,499
Oh. Oh. Okay.

42
00:01:48,543 --> 00:01:50,849
Uh...

43
00:01:50,893 --> 00:01:52,242
Hmm.

44
00:01:56,942 --> 00:02:00,381
Jenga. I win!

45
00:02:00,424 --> 00:02:02,209
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

46
00:02:02,252 --> 00:02:03,688
♪ Welcome to the hood.

47
00:02:09,651 --> 00:02:14,177
Which brings us to our fourth
option-- Potato Famine Farmers.

48
00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:15,874
You did this.

49
00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:17,659
Okay,

50
00:02:17,702 --> 00:02:19,661
now, the rules
are really quite simple.

51
00:02:19,704 --> 00:02:22,881
Everyone will play as farmers
during the Irish Potato Famine,

52
00:02:22,925 --> 00:02:24,796
who are trying to get
their families back to Dublin

53
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,190
so they can avoid starvation.

54
00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:29,671
Now, to get there, you'll
utilize a combination

55
00:02:29,714 --> 00:02:33,196
of victory points, agricultural
bonuses, and trail attacks.

56
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,590
Now I don't want
to get ahead of myself--

57
00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:37,635
and this is not a requirement--

58
00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:40,464
but what's everybody's basic
understanding of Gaelic?

59
00:02:40,508 --> 00:02:43,554
You're right.
I did this.

60
00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:45,643
No. Come on.
This game is a blast.

61
00:02:45,687 --> 00:02:49,212
Look, around here,
we don't play games in Gaelic.

62
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:51,171
We play in English.

63
00:02:51,214 --> 00:02:53,912
[laughs]
Yeah, that's why we play Uno.

64
00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:58,265
Well, I vote
for the potato game.

65
00:02:58,308 --> 00:03:00,963
You know, I love Riverdance,
so maybe I'll like this.

66
00:03:02,399 --> 00:03:04,358
Hey, Malcolm,
can I go play video games

67
00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:05,794
in your room instead?

68
00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:06,882
Yeah. Sure, little man.

69
00:03:06,925 --> 00:03:08,275
Whoa.
Uh, seriously, buddy?

70
00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:10,233
You... you want
to go play video games

71
00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:12,453
instead of having fun
with your family and friends?

72
00:03:12,496 --> 00:03:13,323
See ya.

73
00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:18,415
[laughs]
Yeah. I'm going with Grover.

74
00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:20,112
Whoa, hold on. I...

75
00:03:20,156 --> 00:03:21,897
Calvin, Calvin, this...

76
00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:23,290
Look, this'll give us a chance

77
00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:25,161
to all hang out
and have fun together.

78
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,554
Come on, baby.
He's our guest.

79
00:03:26,597 --> 00:03:28,599
Let's play a new game
for a change.

80
00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:32,037
Okay, but I don't want to
be a shamrock sharecropper.

81
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,476
What other games
you got in there?

82
00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:38,000
Uh, okay. You know what?

83
00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:40,089
Here's a good one.
It's called Naming Names.

84
00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:41,482
Naming Names?

85
00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:43,788
Around here, that game is called
"snitching."

86
00:03:43,832 --> 00:03:45,181
Mm-hmm.

87
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,617
I actually
like this one.

88
00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:48,097
Actually?

89
00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:49,925
Take the win,
sweetheart.

90
00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:52,623
Come on, Milton Bradley.
How do you play?

91
00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:54,973
Joke's on you.
Personal hero of mine.

92
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:57,846
Okay.

93
00:03:57,889 --> 00:04:00,196
Here's how this works. I'll read
a question from the deck like,

94
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,676
"What's your favorite hobby?"

95
00:04:01,719 --> 00:04:03,330
And then everyone will
write down their answers.

96
00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:04,722
And then I'll read the answers,

97
00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:06,071
and we'll all guess
who wrote what.

98
00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:08,248
Okay. Cool. I'll keep score.

99
00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:09,945
Well, it's not really
about keeping score.

100
00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:12,730
It's-it's more of a game of
just getting to know each other.

101
00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:15,516
Well, get to know me.

102
00:04:15,559 --> 00:04:18,432
I'm Calvin Butler
and I keep score.

103
00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:23,263
All right, after eight rounds,

104
00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:25,613
guess who has a ten-point lead.

105
00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:28,224
Me. [laughs]

106
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,879
How do you say "I'm kicking
your ass" in Gaelic?

107
00:04:30,922 --> 00:04:32,533
[laughs]
Come on, Dave.

108
00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:34,274
Hit me with
another question.

109
00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:35,753
Here's a good one.

110
00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:37,886
"What's something bad
you've done,

111
00:04:37,929 --> 00:04:39,931
but never told anyone about?"

112
00:04:39,975 --> 00:04:42,412
Damn, this is a nosy-ass game.

113
00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:47,243
Okay, while you're all writing,
I'll tell you mine.

114
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:50,246
Uh, I once asked
for a water cup

115
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:54,337
at a fast food restaurant
and filled it with lemonade.

116
00:04:55,991 --> 00:04:58,907
Wow, Dave. Thank God
you turned your life around.

117
00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:00,735
Okay. All right, all right.

118
00:05:00,778 --> 00:05:02,171
[clears
throat]

119
00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:03,912
Here we go. Here we go.
All right.

120
00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:06,523
The first answer is...

121
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:09,396
Oh, it looks like I'm not
the only bad boy in the room.

122
00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:12,094
Someone wrote,

123
00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:13,400
"I shoplifted."

124
00:05:13,443 --> 00:05:15,445
Malcolm.

125
00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:17,447
He doesn't have a job.
It's got to be him.

126
00:05:18,535 --> 00:05:21,190
Boom! Another point
for your boy!

127
00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:22,931
Whoa. So, just because
I don't have a job,

128
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:24,672
that makes me a thief?

129
00:05:24,715 --> 00:05:28,240
I'm just saying, if the shoe
fits, you probably stole it.

130
00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:31,113
Well, you can take your point
off, 'cause it wasn't me.

131
00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:34,464
It was me.

132
00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:36,640
I'm the shoplifter.

133
00:05:36,684 --> 00:05:39,077
Oh, damn.
I should've knew it.

134
00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:40,775
Malcolm was too
obvious, man.

135
00:05:40,818 --> 00:05:43,604
Damn, Gemma,
you're a thief?

136
00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:46,389
I can see that.

137
00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:48,130
You never told me
you shoplifted.

138
00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:49,958
It was a long time ago.

139
00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:52,613
Is it weird
that I'm turned on by that?

140
00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:54,092
I was in junior high.

141
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:57,095
Then the answer is yes.

142
00:05:57,139 --> 00:05:58,401
Wait. So, what'd you steal?

143
00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:00,229
A Star Trekbackpack.

144
00:06:00,272 --> 00:06:02,623
Oh, damn it.
It's sexy again.

145
00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:05,365
[laughs]

146
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:08,629
Wait. You stole
a Star Trekbackpack? Gemma,

147
00:06:08,672 --> 00:06:11,632
live long and plunder.

148
00:06:11,675 --> 00:06:15,200
Actually, I was aiming for the
Spice Girls, but I panicked.

149
00:06:15,244 --> 00:06:17,812
I wanted Sporty, but
instead I grabbed Spock.

150
00:06:17,855 --> 00:06:20,162
Hmm.
And then what?

151
00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:21,424
I ran out.

152
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:22,947
Damn!

153
00:06:22,991 --> 00:06:27,299
My girl Gemma
outrunning the po po.

154
00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:28,997
No, no, no.
No one chased me.

155
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,042
What?
What?
What?

156
00:06:33,871 --> 00:06:37,484
Yeah, I was so on edge, I
binged, like, four Cinnabons

157
00:06:37,527 --> 00:06:39,181
just to calm down.
Ooh.

158
00:06:39,224 --> 00:06:41,444
Girl, if you was black,
you'd still be sitting in jail

159
00:06:41,488 --> 00:06:45,361
with type 2 diabetes.

160
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,711
Wait. You think I got away
with it because I'm white?

161
00:06:47,755 --> 00:06:49,887
Yes, definitely.
Yeah.
Of course.

162
00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:53,456
Shoot, I was in the store
the other day.

163
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:57,242
Security followed me so long,
I thought I didsteal something.

164
00:06:58,766 --> 00:07:01,159
That still happens?Are you kidding?

165
00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:02,509
I have more followers
in a department store

166
00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:04,336
than I do on Twitter.

167
00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:07,514
Yeah, it's profiling, man.

168
00:07:07,557 --> 00:07:09,472
It's still an everyday thing
for us.

169
00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:12,040
Yeah, tell me about it.
You just did it to me.

170
00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:13,476
What are you talking about?

171
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:14,782
You just accused me
of shoplifting

172
00:07:14,825 --> 00:07:16,044
and called me a thief.

173
00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:17,437
I was playing a game.

174
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:18,655
Stop being so sensitive.

175
00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:20,962
Oh, so now
you're calling me soft?

176
00:07:21,005 --> 00:07:22,180
All right, you two.

177
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:24,966
Yeah, um, you know what?
Let's do another question.

178
00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:26,402
[laughs]
Here's a good one.

179
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,186
"Who's your favorite Smurf?"

180
00:07:29,231 --> 00:07:31,146
No, you know what, Dave?
I don't want

181
00:07:31,189 --> 00:07:33,148
to play with somebody
who keeps disrespecting me.

182
00:07:33,191 --> 00:07:35,890
Boy, sit down.
Ain't nobody disrespecting you.

183
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:38,240
Yes, you are, Pop.
You do it all the time.

184
00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:39,894
Well, maybe I wouldn't have to

185
00:07:39,937 --> 00:07:42,113
if you did something worthy
of my respect.

186
00:07:42,157 --> 00:07:44,942
Forget this, man.
I'm out of here.

187
00:07:44,986 --> 00:07:46,814
Malcolm?

188
00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:49,338
[door slams shut]Oh, I'm so sorry.

189
00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:51,035
I didn't mean
to start a fight

190
00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:52,863
just because I stole
a stupid backpack.

191
00:07:52,907 --> 00:07:54,822
You stole a backpack?

192
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:06,268
The point is, I felt so bad
for stealing that backpack,

193
00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:11,229
I realized the right thing to do
was to return it and apologize.

194
00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:13,580
Good job, Mom.
I'm proud of you.

195
00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:15,538
Aw, thanks, baby.

196
00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:16,931
All right, buddy. Now
go put on your pajamas

197
00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:18,367
and brush your teeth.

198
00:08:18,410 --> 00:08:20,761
I'll be up to tuck you in
in a minute.

199
00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:22,458
Wow. You handled
that really well,

200
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:23,851
but why didn't you tell
everybody else

201
00:08:23,894 --> 00:08:25,287
you returned the backpack?

202
00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:26,854
Because I didn't.
I'm a thief and a liar

203
00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:28,464
and a terrible mother.

204
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,901
That-That's not true.

205
00:08:30,945 --> 00:08:33,295
You're not a terrible mother.

206
00:08:33,338 --> 00:08:36,559
Yes, I am. I just lied
to my son's face.

207
00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:38,300
Yes, I know,
but that's only because

208
00:08:38,343 --> 00:08:41,129
you don't want him
to grow up to be like you.

209
00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:43,958
I'm serious. What do
you think I should do?

210
00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:45,873
Return the backpack?

211
00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:47,396
Wait. You still have it?

212
00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:49,485
Gemma, that's sick.

213
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,748
And, again, sexy.

214
00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,925
Ugh! I feel terrible.

215
00:08:54,969 --> 00:08:56,884
Well, how do you think
I feel?

216
00:08:56,927 --> 00:09:00,278
I just drove a wedge
between Calvin and Malcolm.

217
00:09:00,322 --> 00:09:02,150
I tore their entire
relationship apart.

218
00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:04,326
I think you're being a
little dramatic, Dave.

219
00:09:04,369 --> 00:09:07,634
Dramatic? I'm a home-wrecker.

220
00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:11,507
Whatever. I never want to
play this stupid game again.

221
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,814
Well, it's not
the game's fault.

222
00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:16,381
Hate the players, not the game.

223
00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:23,998
What are you
still doing here?

224
00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:26,522
Have you been
up all night?

225
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:29,003
Oh. [laughs] Well, Dave left
behind Potato Famine Farmers.

226
00:09:29,046 --> 00:09:31,005
At first
I started playing it ironically,

227
00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:32,528
and then I got hooked.

228
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,878
[laughs]

229
00:09:34,922 --> 00:09:36,750
Daddy, my family is starving!

230
00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:39,317
[knocking]

231
00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:43,017
Hey, Calvin.
Hey, Dave.

232
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:45,715
I just wanted to come over and
make sure everything was okay.

233
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:47,369
I feel really bad
about last night.

234
00:09:47,412 --> 00:09:50,285
Why? Because I won?
[laughs]

235
00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:53,201
Don't hate the player,
hate the game.

236
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:55,377
I think you're
saying that wrong.

237
00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:58,859
Hey, what's up, Dave?
You ready to go, Pop?

238
00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:01,601
Wait. So, you
guys are okay?

239
00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:03,603
Yeah, why wouldn't we be?Yeah.

240
00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:04,908
Come on, let's go.

241
00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:08,564
Oh!

242
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,697
Would you get that
game out of here

243
00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:12,960
before Marty turns
into a potato head?

244
00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:21,098
Hey, uh, Marty, can
I ask you something?

245
00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:23,057
Now is not a good time, Dave.

246
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,711
My wagon is stuck in a ditch,

247
00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:26,800
and my wife
Lorelei's water just broke.

248
00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:29,890
Well, it's just

249
00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:32,893
that your dad and Malcolm got
into a huge fight last night,

250
00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:35,156
and now they seem
completely fine.

251
00:10:35,199 --> 00:10:36,940
Yeah, that's what they do.
Things blow up,

252
00:10:36,984 --> 00:10:39,595
they ignore it and pretend
like it never happened.

253
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,249
Well, has it always been
like that?

254
00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:43,643
No, it started when Malcolm
stopped playing baseball.

255
00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:45,819
I didn't know he
played baseball.

256
00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:50,040
Yeah, well, I didn't know
wolves could eat my baby.

257
00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:54,131
Why'd he stop?

258
00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:57,091
Uh, he, um, he got injured
in the minors.

259
00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:59,093
It kept him from making it
to the big leagues.

260
00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:00,747
Oh, man,
he must have been crushed.

261
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:02,662
Yeah, so was my dad.

262
00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,359
Baseball was their thing.

263
00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:10,234
You know, maybe since they can't
connect over baseball anymore,

264
00:11:10,278 --> 00:11:13,281
I can get them to connect
over a different game.

265
00:11:13,324 --> 00:11:16,676
[laughs]
Well, it can't be this one,

266
00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:19,243
because it is ruining my life!

267
00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:23,378
Thank you so much
for coming with me.

268
00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:24,814
Are you kidding?

269
00:11:24,858 --> 00:11:27,948
White girl returning a bag
she stole 20 years ago--

270
00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:29,732
nothing on TV
better than this.

271
00:11:29,776 --> 00:11:33,649
I just want to set a good
example for Grover, you know?

272
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,390
I don't want him thinking
I'm a hypocrite.

273
00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:37,087
Eh, all good parents
are hypocrites.

274
00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:38,785
My boys think
I'm at church right now.

275
00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:43,615
I have kind of a
weird situation,

276
00:11:43,659 --> 00:11:45,574
and I know it's gonna
sound a little crazy,

277
00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:47,881
but I need to return
a backpack I stole

278
00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:50,622
from one of your
stores in 1998.

279
00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:53,321
I get it.
When my uncle got sober,

280
00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:55,366
he had to make amends, too.

281
00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:57,760
Oh, no, no, no, I'm
not getting sober.

282
00:11:57,804 --> 00:12:00,720
Mama needs her wine.

283
00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:03,635
I'm just trying to
return this backpack.

284
00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:05,681
Okay, maybe you should
take it back

285
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,727
to the store
that you stole it from.

286
00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:09,859
[laughs] Well, to do that,

287
00:12:09,903 --> 00:12:13,167
I'd need Marty, Doc Brown,
and a DeLorean.

288
00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:15,473
I don't know
what any of those things are.

289
00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:17,693
Listen, Meadow, I have
a six-year-old son,

290
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,390
and I lied to his face.

291
00:12:19,434 --> 00:12:22,045
I need to return this backpack
so I'm not a liar anymore.

292
00:12:22,089 --> 00:12:25,527
Because if a kid can't trust
his mom, he can't trust anyone.

293
00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:27,790
So you are gonna take
this damn backpack

294
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:30,010
and help me save my baby boy.

295
00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:31,359
Okay, let me, uh,

296
00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:33,883
handle this. Hi, Meadow.

297
00:12:33,927 --> 00:12:36,712
All my friend here needs
to do is return that bag,

298
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,584
so what is the best way
to resolve this situation?

299
00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:42,718
I'm sorry. I can't
resolve anything for you.

300
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,546
Well, I hear you say that,

301
00:12:44,589 --> 00:12:47,767
but I don't feel like
you really tried.

302
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:50,900
[chuckles]Whoa, there's no need
to be aggressive.

303
00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:53,990
I'm not being aggressive.

304
00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:56,079
I don't appreciate your tone.

305
00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:58,995
My tone? Th-Th-There's
nothing wrong with my tone.

306
00:12:59,039 --> 00:13:00,388
I was just trying
to help my friend.

307
00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:02,999
Security? I've got a situation

308
00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:04,740
with a very angry woman

309
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,786
and her blonde friend
from the '90s.

310
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:09,614
Oh, my God,
she just called you angry.[scoffs]

311
00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:12,400
Tina, I don't know
if you realize this,

312
00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:14,924
but you are being profiled.

313
00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:16,708
Oh, my God, Gemma.

314
00:13:16,752 --> 00:13:18,406
I think you might be right.

315
00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:20,538
Well, I am not
just gonna stand here

316
00:13:20,582 --> 00:13:22,453
and watch you be disrespected.

317
00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:25,892
See, now you're
upsetting my customer.

318
00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:29,286
Oh, you want upsetting?
I will show you upsetting.

319
00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:31,680
Okay. All right,
let's go, Angela Davis.

320
00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:34,639
You're gonna get me arrested.You may not realize it,

321
00:13:34,683 --> 00:13:36,076
but you should be ashamed
of yourself.

322
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:37,425
Y-You need to get woke!

323
00:13:37,468 --> 00:13:38,992
She's black, and I'm proud!

324
00:13:39,035 --> 00:13:40,036
Okay.

325
00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:42,560
Okay.

326
00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:44,867
Hey, guys.

327
00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:47,522
Who's up for some cornhole?

328
00:13:47,565 --> 00:13:49,741
Did you get beat
up a lot as a kid?

329
00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:51,047
Not as much as everybody thinks.

330
00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:52,440
[chuckles]

331
00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:54,790
Wait, wait, guys, hold on.

332
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,010
You guys should really talk
about your issues.

333
00:13:57,053 --> 00:13:59,490
If you don't want
to do it for yourselves,

334
00:13:59,534 --> 00:14:01,144
do it for me.

335
00:14:01,188 --> 00:14:05,366
That is the least
compelling reason to do it.

336
00:14:05,409 --> 00:14:06,454
Hey, Dave, look,

337
00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:08,282
it's cool, man. We're fine.

338
00:14:08,325 --> 00:14:11,111
Yeah.Look, I-I know, as a man,

339
00:14:11,154 --> 00:14:13,809
how hard it is to talk
about our feelings.

340
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,290
I wish it was harder for you.

341
00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:19,206
Marty told me
about how your problems started

342
00:14:19,249 --> 00:14:21,077
when Malcolm stopped
playing baseball,

343
00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:23,471
and I think maybe it's because

344
00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:26,778
alpha males, like us...

345
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,914
...sometimes use sports
to connect emotionally.

346
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:33,655
Guys, it's not healthy

347
00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:35,048
to keep having these blowups

348
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:36,832
and pretend
like they never happened.

349
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,834
You know, you're suppressing
your feelings.

350
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,618
Suppressing our feelings? No.

351
00:14:40,662 --> 00:14:43,143
We don't suppress anything
around here. Right, Malcolm?

352
00:14:43,186 --> 00:14:44,796
I...See, I told you.

353
00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:48,191
I think Dave is right.What?

354
00:14:49,192 --> 00:14:50,846
I think Dave's
right. We should...

355
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,630
play the game and talk.

356
00:14:52,674 --> 00:14:54,632
About what?

357
00:14:54,676 --> 00:14:56,330
About how you talk to me.

358
00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:58,158
How you disrespect me.

359
00:14:58,201 --> 00:15:00,160
Look, I-I'm sick of it, man.

360
00:15:00,203 --> 00:15:03,337
Oh. Oh, so you're the one
sick of something?

361
00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:04,904
Yeah, Pop, I'm sick of it.

362
00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:07,907
Huh.Okay. Okay.

363
00:15:10,431 --> 00:15:13,869
See, now we're communicating.

364
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,958
Who wants to throw
the first beanbag?

365
00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:17,438
If you don't get your ass
out of here,

366
00:15:17,481 --> 00:15:18,787
you're gonna be
the first beanbag.

367
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:21,572
Let the healing begin.

368
00:15:22,573 --> 00:15:24,445
You feeling better now?

369
00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:26,795
Yes.

370
00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:29,754
I just can't believe
she treated you like that.

371
00:15:29,798 --> 00:15:32,975
I told you, it happens
all the time. But...

372
00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:35,282
maybe this time we can
use it to our advantage.

373
00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:37,240
How?Follow my lead.

374
00:15:37,284 --> 00:15:39,373
You drop the goods, and
I'll handle the rest.

375
00:15:39,416 --> 00:15:42,593
Okay. I'm just gonna have
this other Cinnabon first.

376
00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:46,249
How do you not have an ass?

377
00:15:48,425 --> 00:15:51,428
♪

378
00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:16,236
♪

379
00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:39,824
Ka-kaw! Ka-kaw!

380
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:43,002
[laughs] You followed
the wrong one.

381
00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:45,743
And you couldn't handle
the '90s.

382
00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:53,099
All right. Go ahead, big man.

383
00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:54,622
Say what you got to say.

384
00:16:54,665 --> 00:16:58,104
Well, Dave said playing the game
will help us to do it.

385
00:16:58,147 --> 00:16:59,757
[sighs] Fine.

386
00:16:59,801 --> 00:17:02,543
Yeah.There. Go.
We're playing.

387
00:17:02,586 --> 00:17:05,328
Oh, damn, I made it.

388
00:17:07,504 --> 00:17:09,289
You know what,
just forget about it, Pop,

389
00:17:09,332 --> 00:17:10,986
'cause you're not gonna
listen to me, anyway.

390
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,814
There you go.

391
00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:15,686
Quitting 'cause you lost.
Classic Malcolm.

392
00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:18,167
Had enough of you
talking to me like that.Mm.

393
00:17:18,211 --> 00:17:19,603
Ever since I stopped
playing baseball,

394
00:17:19,647 --> 00:17:21,040
you treat me like I'm a bum.

395
00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:23,259
Well, ever since you
stopped playing baseball,

396
00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:25,131
you been acting like a bum.

397
00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:26,828
What am I supposed to do, Pop?

398
00:17:26,871 --> 00:17:28,482
J-Just get some job

399
00:17:28,525 --> 00:17:30,875
and forget that I was
ever good at baseball?

400
00:17:30,919 --> 00:17:33,313
I did 6:00 a.m. workouts
every day,

401
00:17:33,356 --> 00:17:36,011
took batting practice
till my hands bled.

402
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:39,145
I gave everything I had
to baseball.

403
00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:43,105
Worked my ass off
chasing my dream and...

404
00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:45,890
just for my arm
to go out on me, Pop.

405
00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:49,329
You have any idea
how unfair that is?

406
00:17:49,372 --> 00:17:52,027
What you want me
to say, Malcolm?

407
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,029
Life is unfair.

408
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,683
But what are you gonna do?

409
00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:57,859
Just sit in the
living room all day

410
00:17:57,902 --> 00:17:59,208
and guard the damn furniture?

411
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,348
Do you see what
I'm saying, Pop?

412
00:18:08,391 --> 00:18:10,437
Why do you have to
come at me like that?

413
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,439
I'm trying to get you
to fight, son.

414
00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:13,701
I don't want to
fight with you.

415
00:18:13,744 --> 00:18:15,355
I don't want you
to fight with me.

416
00:18:15,398 --> 00:18:16,834
I want you to fight back.

417
00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:17,966
Fight back at what?

418
00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:19,750
At life.

419
00:18:19,794 --> 00:18:21,448
I'm trying to motivate you, son.

420
00:18:21,491 --> 00:18:23,145
Pop, when you tear
me down like that,

421
00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:25,060
it doesn't motivate me.

422
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:28,281
It just makes me feel like...

423
00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:30,283
like I'm worthless.

424
00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:35,201
Worthless?

425
00:18:35,244 --> 00:18:37,725
You're my son.

426
00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:39,596
There's nothing worthless
about you.

427
00:18:40,728 --> 00:18:43,078
Malcolm, I loved
watching you play baseball.

428
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:46,168
And you know why?
Because you were fearless.

429
00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:47,865
You dove for every ball,

430
00:18:47,909 --> 00:18:50,390
you always took
that extra base,

431
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:53,349
and you never struck out
without swinging at the pitch.

432
00:18:53,393 --> 00:18:56,047
You always went down swinging.

433
00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:59,312
That's because when I
was a kid, you told me

434
00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:02,184
if I didn't try my hardest,
I would have to walk home.

435
00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:05,579
Yeah, you remember that time
you had to walk home

436
00:19:05,622 --> 00:19:07,146
in a thunderstorm?[chuckles]

437
00:19:08,799 --> 00:19:11,759
How can I forget?
It was an away game.

438
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,197
Look, son,

439
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:17,199
but these last couple
of years,

440
00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:19,201
you've been caught looking.

441
00:19:21,072 --> 00:19:23,205
You need to start
swinging again.

442
00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:25,729
I know, Pop.

443
00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:27,731
But at what?

444
00:19:27,775 --> 00:19:30,734
Anything. I mean,
a swing and a miss

445
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:33,650
is always better
than no swing at all.

446
00:19:35,739 --> 00:19:38,742
Well, maybe you're right.

447
00:19:38,786 --> 00:19:41,223
It is time for me
to start swinging again.

448
00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:44,095
Yeah. And, look,
I may be tough,

449
00:19:44,139 --> 00:19:46,272
but I always got your back.

450
00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:50,363
Well, I would appreciate it,
Pop, if you would just...

451
00:19:50,406 --> 00:19:53,279
cut down on the
jabs a little bit.

452
00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:55,977
[chuckles] Okay.
All right, I can do that.

453
00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:58,545
So what you thinking,
like five jabs a week?

454
00:19:58,588 --> 00:20:00,242
[laughs]

455
00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:01,983
How about two, Pop?

456
00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:03,376
Okay, three it is.

457
00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:05,639
Deal.

458
00:20:05,682 --> 00:20:08,511
I'm-a do you one better.
Come here, man.

459
00:20:11,601 --> 00:20:13,647
Love you, boy.

460
00:20:13,690 --> 00:20:16,084
Love you.

461
00:20:16,127 --> 00:20:18,260
Oh, damn.What?

462
00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:21,785
Did Dave's little cornhole plan
work on us?

463
00:20:21,829 --> 00:20:23,047
It sure did.

464
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:34,058
Well, all right.
So, y'all are starving,

465
00:20:34,102 --> 00:20:36,147
but my oxen are yoked.

466
00:20:37,410 --> 00:20:39,325
My sheep are shorn.

467
00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:42,197
And Uncle Seamus's amputation
went off without a hitch.

468
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,678
Dublin, here I come.

469
00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:47,071
Oh!

470
00:20:47,115 --> 00:20:49,552
Boom! Bumper crop. [laughs]

471
00:20:51,075 --> 00:20:54,383
Where you gonna get your
french fries from now, huh? Me!

472
00:20:54,427 --> 00:20:57,908
After tonight, this
goes in the trash, too.Yeah.

473
00:20:57,952 --> 00:20:58,909
[laughing]

474
00:20:58,953 --> 00:21:00,520
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

475
00:21:04,088 --> 00:21:06,090
Captioned by
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