1 00:00:03,438 --> 00:00:04,917 All right, fellas, come on now. 2 00:00:04,961 --> 00:00:06,223 Let's go down to the barbershop. 3 00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:08,008 Babe, we'll see you later.Okay, baby. 4 00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:10,880 Come here and give me some of that sugar, girl.Uh-uh. 5 00:00:10,923 --> 00:00:12,490 No! What you doing? 6 00:00:12,534 --> 00:00:14,057 Not with all that gray stubble. 7 00:00:14,101 --> 00:00:16,973 I'm too young and hot to be messing with some old man. 8 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,628 [chuckles] I might be gray in the face, Mm-hmm. 9 00:00:19,671 --> 00:00:21,325 but I'm young below the waist, girl. Uh-uh. 10 00:00:21,369 --> 00:00:23,240 Uh-uh, uh-uh, get it, get it.Come on. Come on now. 11 00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:24,807 Oh! Ah! 12 00:00:29,072 --> 00:00:32,032 Can't believe I still live here. 13 00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:34,556 Yeah, I can't believe there's only two of us. 14 00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:39,517 CALVIN: Oh, damn. There's Dave. 15 00:00:39,561 --> 00:00:41,476 Shh. Let's sneak to the truck. Nobody say anything-- 16 00:00:41,519 --> 00:00:43,521 Hi, Dave! 17 00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:45,741 Hey, guys. 18 00:00:45,784 --> 00:00:47,873 If I knew you were gonna be like this, 19 00:00:47,917 --> 00:00:49,875 it wouldn'tbe two of you. 20 00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:52,139 Hey, what's up, Dave? Where are you headed? 21 00:00:52,182 --> 00:00:53,966 Oh, man, all over the place. 22 00:00:54,010 --> 00:00:56,752 Gemma gave me a big honey-do list to take care of. 23 00:00:56,795 --> 00:01:00,060 Grocery shopping, dry cleaners, The Container Store. 24 00:01:02,105 --> 00:01:03,411 That last one's just for me. 25 00:01:05,369 --> 00:01:07,197 How about you guys? Where are you off to? 26 00:01:07,241 --> 00:01:08,764 We are headed to the barbershop. 27 00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:11,071 Ooh, can I come? I've been meaning to get my ears lowered. 28 00:01:13,290 --> 00:01:14,683 You've been meaning to what? 29 00:01:14,726 --> 00:01:16,815 Dave, I work with a lot of white people, 30 00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:19,079 and even I don't know what that means. 31 00:01:19,122 --> 00:01:21,820 "Getting your ears lowered" means getting a haircut, 32 00:01:21,864 --> 00:01:24,649 'cause afterwards your shorter hair looks higher in relation 33 00:01:24,693 --> 00:01:28,740 to your ears, so your ears look lower by comparison. 34 00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:34,094 Uh, no, you can't come. 35 00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:36,052 Okay, why-why not? 36 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:40,100 Dave, it's a black barbershop. It's not Supercuts. 37 00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:41,579 Okay. 38 00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:43,407 Hey, look, don't take it personally, Dave. 39 00:01:43,451 --> 00:01:45,235 It's just, our barbershop 40 00:01:45,279 --> 00:01:47,498 is not the friendliest place when you're new. 41 00:01:47,542 --> 00:01:49,457 Yeah, it's barely friendly when you're not new. 42 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,676 [laughs] It's so... it's so true. 43 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,200 One time when he was six, 44 00:01:53,243 --> 00:01:55,158 he ate a bad bean pie in there, 45 00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:57,943 and ever since then, they've been calling him Farty Marty. 46 00:01:57,987 --> 00:01:59,945 [laughter] 47 00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:02,165 Look, I'm just saying, Dave, if-if you walked in there, 48 00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:04,254 they would roast you pretty hard. Yeah. 49 00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:06,691 Well, it's cool. I can take it. You know, back in Michigan, 50 00:02:06,735 --> 00:02:09,390 me and the 'Zoo Crew used to bag on each other all the time. 51 00:02:09,433 --> 00:02:13,307 Again, work with white people. No clue. 52 00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:17,180 Yeah, uh, what's the 'Zoo Crew? 53 00:02:17,224 --> 00:02:19,269 'Zoo Crew! 54 00:02:19,313 --> 00:02:22,142 That's what me and my boys used to call ourselves, you know. 55 00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:24,144 Oh, we did everything together. 56 00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:26,102 We even had our own anthem. 57 00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:30,062 ♪ Four best friends from Kalamazoo ♪ 58 00:02:30,106 --> 00:02:33,414 ♪ Logan, Brad and Dave and Logan Number Two. ♪ 59 00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:38,854 Wait. So-so, your four-man 'Zoo Crew 60 00:02:38,897 --> 00:02:41,552 had not one but two Logans? 61 00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:43,424 Yeah, man, those are my bro-gans. 62 00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:49,299 No, you can't go. 63 00:02:49,343 --> 00:02:51,345 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 64 00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:52,563 ♪ Welcome to the hood. 65 00:02:58,352 --> 00:02:59,788 Hey, hey, now, what's going on? 66 00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:01,398 What's happening?Que, chair open? 67 00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:03,444 It is now. Get up, Trey. 68 00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:05,533 But I'm next. 69 00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:09,101 Well, look at it this way: you still are. 70 00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:11,234 [laughs] 71 00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:13,367 Hey, Harold, turn that TV on, man. 72 00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:15,238 They're replaying the Rams game from Thursday night. 73 00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:16,500 MALCOLM: Oh, wait. 74 00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:18,502 Come on, Pop. Black people are not supposed 75 00:03:18,546 --> 00:03:20,243 to be supporting football right now. 76 00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:22,158 I'm not supposed to be having milk, either, 77 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,681 but it ain't stop me 78 00:03:23,725 --> 00:03:26,423 from eating two bowls of Cap'n Crunch today. 79 00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:28,469 So you're really not watching football, Malcolm? 80 00:03:28,512 --> 00:03:30,558 Not until Kaepernick is back on the field. 81 00:03:30,601 --> 00:03:33,430 Well, you better start liking soccer, 82 00:03:33,474 --> 00:03:35,867 'cause the only football you're gonna see is, 83 00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:40,176 "Goal! Barcelona!" 84 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,786 [laughter] Really? 85 00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:45,442 Hey, what's up, everybody? 86 00:03:45,486 --> 00:03:47,270 [others greeting]What's up, Jeremiah? 87 00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:50,491 Look, I got socks, belts and Spanx for sale. 88 00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,493 Keeping it tight ain't just for the ladies. 89 00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:54,669 Am I right, fellas? 90 00:03:54,712 --> 00:03:58,063 Jeremiah, no self-respecting man in here wants to buy any Spanx. 91 00:03:58,107 --> 00:04:01,284 Speak for yourself. That Cap'n Crunch is sitting on me. 92 00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:05,375 Hey, Calvin! 93 00:04:07,464 --> 00:04:10,075 Oh, man, can you believe this? 94 00:04:10,119 --> 00:04:11,599 No. 95 00:04:11,642 --> 00:04:13,035 Tell me the truth, man. 96 00:04:13,078 --> 00:04:15,429 Do you have a LoJack on me or something? 97 00:04:15,472 --> 00:04:17,735 No, I was just picking up my dry cleaning next door. 98 00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:19,433 Hey, everyone, I'm Dave. 99 00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:21,348 Oh. 100 00:04:21,391 --> 00:04:23,306 So this the neighbor we've been hearing about? 101 00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,569 Calvin, you told them about me? 102 00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:28,746 Only good things, I hope. 103 00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:30,270 Well, keep hope alive. 104 00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:32,837 [laughter]Well, since I'm here, 105 00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:34,448 why don't I hang out for a while, get a haircut? 106 00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:36,798 Sorry, man. We only use clippers here. 107 00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:38,539 We ain't got no mousse. 108 00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:40,018 [laughter] 109 00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:41,498 Actually, I don't use mousse. 110 00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:43,195 This is natural volume. 111 00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:45,459 Okay. 112 00:04:45,502 --> 00:04:46,808 Hey, who does he remind you of? 113 00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:48,549 Well, you know, a lot of people say Tom Cruise. 114 00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:50,507 Nah, nah, that ain't it. 115 00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:52,248 I got it. Rachel Maddow. 116 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,425 [laughter] 117 00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:57,862 I told you, man, it was gonna get rough around here. 118 00:04:57,906 --> 00:04:59,908 You should have just went to The Container Store. 119 00:04:59,951 --> 00:05:01,649 Somebody say containers? 120 00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:08,525 Wow. So, all these socks for just four dollars? 121 00:05:08,569 --> 00:05:10,005 That's right. 122 00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:11,441 That's cheap. Where'd you get 'em? 123 00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:15,097 OTHERS: Whoa. Whoa. 124 00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:17,142 Oh. Are they... are they stolen? 125 00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:18,405 Dave![others groaning, murmuring] 126 00:05:19,623 --> 00:05:21,233 Uh-uh, I don't like this. 127 00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:22,713 Calvin, your neighbor's a cop. 128 00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:25,237 Relax, Jeremiah. He's not a cop. 129 00:05:25,281 --> 00:05:26,326 How you know? 130 00:05:26,369 --> 00:05:28,719 Dave, are you a cop? No. 131 00:05:28,763 --> 00:05:32,767 See? I don't know what he is, but he's not a cop. 132 00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:35,900 And if he were, by law, he would have to tell you, so... 133 00:05:35,944 --> 00:05:37,598 Oh, actually, that's not true. 134 00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:39,600 What? Oh, of course it is. 135 00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:42,907 Most people think it is because they see it on TV all the time, 136 00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:45,257 but truth is, totally false. 137 00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:47,259 No, it's not. 138 00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:48,609 Well, how do you know? 139 00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:50,698 'Cause I see it on TV all the time! 140 00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:53,614 [chuckles] Actually, uh, Dave is right. 141 00:05:53,657 --> 00:05:55,616 Pop, I just looked it up. 142 00:05:55,659 --> 00:05:56,617 Mm-hmm. 143 00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:58,575 Look at your boy Dave. 144 00:05:58,619 --> 00:06:02,362 He knows what he's talking about morethan Calvin. 145 00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:03,711 [others murmuring] 146 00:06:03,754 --> 00:06:06,061 Look, so what, he knew that. 147 00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:09,412 Uh, even a blind squirrel sometimes finds a nut. 148 00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:10,848 [chuckles] 149 00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:13,634 How would a blind squirrel find a nut? 150 00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:14,939 Probably their sense of smell. 151 00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:18,290 It's highly-developed in squirrels. 152 00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:20,380 Why are y'all even listening to this guy? 153 00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:22,120 He just walked in here. 154 00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:23,948 Yeah, but he seems smart. 155 00:06:23,992 --> 00:06:25,863 Yo, Dave, I got a question. 156 00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:28,562 Is global warming racist? Calvin says it is. 157 00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:30,433 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hold on. 158 00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:33,262 I said the concept of global warming is racist. 159 00:06:33,305 --> 00:06:34,872 I mean, think about it. 160 00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:38,049 Africa been hot all this time, and nobody cared. 161 00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:40,704 But soon as it get hot in Boston, 162 00:06:40,748 --> 00:06:43,925 ha, all of a sudden, we got global warming. 163 00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:47,537 You know why? 164 00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:49,191 It's because they're worried about Tom Brady. 165 00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:51,062 [others groaning, murmuring] 166 00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:52,673 I'm telling you, they're worried about him. 167 00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:55,719 Well, you know, I-I did hear on NPR the other day 168 00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:57,678 that seven of the ten countries most affected 169 00:06:57,721 --> 00:07:00,158 by climate change are in sub-Saharan Africa. 170 00:07:00,202 --> 00:07:04,249 And wealthier nations do cause most of the world's pollution. 171 00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:06,643 So it isracist! 172 00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:08,732 I just said that. 173 00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:11,866 Yeah, but when Dave says it, it sounds true, though. 174 00:07:11,909 --> 00:07:13,824 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 175 00:07:13,868 --> 00:07:16,827 Maybe that's because I look like Rachel Maddow. 176 00:07:16,871 --> 00:07:19,177 [laughter] 177 00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:21,441 I can't believe y'all. 178 00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:25,445 He heard it on NPR? So what? I heard it on Steve Harvey. 179 00:07:27,359 --> 00:07:30,754 Yo, Dave, is Steve Harvey a reliable source? 180 00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:33,322 All I know is he's killing it 181 00:07:33,365 --> 00:07:35,498 on the Family Feud! Yeah. 182 00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:37,631 Yeah. Just like Dave is killing it 183 00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:39,197 in the barbershop, right, Dad? 184 00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:41,461 No. Am I right? 185 00:07:41,504 --> 00:07:43,071 [laughs] Survey says! 186 00:07:43,114 --> 00:07:44,594 [imitates buzzer] 187 00:07:44,638 --> 00:07:46,901 [laughs] 188 00:07:48,946 --> 00:07:50,470 Who's the first white guy 189 00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:52,123 to hold his own in Que's barbershop? 190 00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:53,647 Me? 191 00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:55,649 [excited chatter] 192 00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:58,042 Good answer. Good answer. 193 00:07:58,086 --> 00:08:01,263 Hey, Dave, can I ask you for some advice?Yeah, sure. 194 00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:03,395 Well, first off, my girl Keisha's trippin'. 195 00:08:03,439 --> 00:08:05,310 Well, why is she trippin'?Because we be beefin'. 196 00:08:05,354 --> 00:08:07,530 Why do you think you're beefin'?'Cause she be trippin'! 197 00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,706 CALVIN: Listen, Trey, 198 00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:11,534 I told you, what you need to do with Keisha... 199 00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:13,797 Shh. I want to hear what he has to say. 200 00:08:13,841 --> 00:08:15,799 Did you just shush me?! 201 00:08:15,843 --> 00:08:18,585 Shh. Calvin, let the man talk. 202 00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:21,370 Well, hold on. Did youjust shush me?! 203 00:08:23,024 --> 00:08:26,549 Well, since she seems to be the one that's trippin', 204 00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,595 I'd sit her down and let her know 205 00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:30,684 how it makes you feel when she trips, 206 00:08:30,727 --> 00:08:32,860 and subsequently beefs. 207 00:08:34,209 --> 00:08:37,473 That's it. That is it! 208 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,736 I'm not gonna sit here and let y'all shush me 209 00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:42,391 while y'all sit around and listen to that guy. 210 00:08:42,434 --> 00:08:43,958 But, Daddy, you...Shh! 211 00:08:45,089 --> 00:08:46,830 But, Calvin, what...? Shh! 212 00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:49,050 Shh! Shh! 213 00:08:49,093 --> 00:08:51,269 Shh...! 214 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,534 Shh! 215 00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:05,588 Hey. There you are. 216 00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:08,417 Oh. I just got your text about being at the barbershop. 217 00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:09,766 Have you been there this whole time? 218 00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:11,507 Gemma, you should have seen it. 219 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,465 It was amazing. At one point, 220 00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:16,033 the owner brought out drinks and cigars for everyone. 221 00:09:16,077 --> 00:09:17,600 People started gambling. 222 00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:20,777 It was like being below deck on the Titanic. 223 00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:24,259 That's great, but why does your hair look exactly the same? 224 00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:28,350 I was having so much fun, I forgot to get it cut. 225 00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:30,613 Oh. Well, I'm happy for you. 226 00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:32,615 I know you've been missing your friends. 227 00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:34,312 Ugh. Tell me about it. 228 00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:35,618 All I've had for a social life 229 00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:37,881 since we moved here has been you and Grover. 230 00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,625 Which I love. 231 00:09:42,669 --> 00:09:45,497 [laughs] It's okay. I get it. 232 00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:47,282 Men need other men to hang out with 233 00:09:47,325 --> 00:09:50,938 so you can get out all your stupid testosterone. 234 00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:54,071 Just felt good to hang out with guys again. 235 00:09:54,115 --> 00:09:55,725 Can I ask you a question? 236 00:09:55,769 --> 00:09:58,075 Do I look like Rachel Maddow to you? 237 00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:05,648 [laughs]: You do now. 238 00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:09,739 Hey, Tea Cup. Morning, baby. 239 00:10:09,783 --> 00:10:12,133 Don't "morning, baby" me, Calvin. 240 00:10:12,176 --> 00:10:14,048 I had a dream last night 241 00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:16,354 that a wolverine was attacking my shoulder, 242 00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:18,487 and when I woke up, it was your beard. 243 00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:21,098 Really? Mm-hmm. 244 00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:23,100 Man, I was thinking about keeping it, babe. 245 00:10:23,144 --> 00:10:25,668 You know, I... I look like a young Barry White. 246 00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:30,368 [imitating White]: Oh, yeah, baby. 247 00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:33,545 Ah, no, baby. [groans] 248 00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:36,418 You need to go back to that shop today and get a shave. 249 00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:37,941 I don't want people thinking I'm married 250 00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:39,682 to Frederick Douglass. 251 00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:42,076 [laughs] 252 00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:44,078 I'm not going back down in there, Tina. 253 00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:45,340 They shushed me. 254 00:10:45,383 --> 00:10:47,124 Like I was some kind of kid. 255 00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:49,649 Well, you know, Pop, the rea...Shh, Malcolm. I'm talking. 256 00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:53,609 I've been going to that shop for 30 years. 257 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,872 I mean, Dave comes in there for one hour, 258 00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:58,483 now everybody's started listening to him instead of me. 259 00:10:58,527 --> 00:11:00,094 It was disrespectful. 260 00:11:00,137 --> 00:11:01,704 I'll show you something disrespectful. 261 00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,227 What's that? 262 00:11:03,271 --> 00:11:05,316 [woman laughing, siren wailing]What is that? 263 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:08,363 Keisha burning all of Trey's clothes. 264 00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:10,582 She's live-streaming it right now. 265 00:11:10,626 --> 00:11:13,498 Ooh, when she starts trippin', 266 00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:17,067 she sure means it, doesn't she? 267 00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:19,461 Oh, damn, she couldn't wait to exhale. 268 00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:21,419 Mm-mm. 269 00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:23,987 Well, that's what Trey gets for listening to Dave. 270 00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:25,554 Like. 271 00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:29,036 Well, what's he doing listening to Dave? 272 00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:31,038 He doesn't know him like you do. 273 00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:33,475 Right. You are Calvin Butler. 274 00:11:33,518 --> 00:11:35,695 Nobody knows this community better than you do. 275 00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:37,522 That's what I keep saying. 276 00:11:37,566 --> 00:11:40,438 Well, that's why you need to go to that shop 277 00:11:40,482 --> 00:11:42,876 and remind people who you are. 278 00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:44,442 You damn right. 279 00:11:44,486 --> 00:11:46,575 That's exactly what I'm gonna do, too. 280 00:11:46,618 --> 00:11:48,185 And then you go get a shave. 281 00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:53,756 Come on, boys, come and watch your daddy go to work down here. 282 00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:57,891 All right, y'all be good. 283 00:11:57,934 --> 00:12:00,850 Ooh, I sure do miss burning clothes. 284 00:12:02,547 --> 00:12:05,333 Well, if you ask me, the fairest compromise is 285 00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:07,770 you cut the grass one week, and then you have your roommate 286 00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,903 cut it the next.That's a good idea, Dave. 287 00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:13,167 I'm gonna go home and tell my mama that's how it's gonna be. 288 00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:16,953 Hey, hey, people.OTHERS: Hey! 289 00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:19,260 Oh! Calvin, you're back. How you doing, man? 290 00:12:19,303 --> 00:12:21,653 I'm doing better than Trey, that's for sure. 291 00:12:21,697 --> 00:12:22,829 What happened to Trey? 292 00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:25,135 Oh. Show him the video, Marty. 293 00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:28,182 Oh, is that Keisha burning all his stuff? 294 00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:30,184 [siren wailing on video] 295 00:12:30,227 --> 00:12:31,228 Yes. 296 00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:32,621 And that's what happens 297 00:12:32,664 --> 00:12:34,971 around here when you don't listen to me. 298 00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,843 You get roasted. 299 00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:38,801 That's crazy that Keisha would do that. 300 00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:41,586 No, it's not. 'Cause Keisha's crazy. 301 00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:46,069 But, see, y'all must've forgot who knows you 302 00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:48,463 and always tries to steer you right. 303 00:12:48,506 --> 00:12:49,594 I mean, like you, Jeremiah. 304 00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:51,596 I mean, you up in here 305 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:55,992 selling belts and socks like some common barbershop hustler. 306 00:12:56,036 --> 00:12:58,212 Who the one told you that the real money 307 00:12:58,255 --> 00:13:00,736 was in men's compression undergarments? 308 00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:03,695 Calvin, that's not fair. 309 00:13:03,739 --> 00:13:05,523 I'm gonna tell you what's not fair. 310 00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,134 You making your mama cut the grass 311 00:13:07,177 --> 00:13:09,310 when she got asthma and a push mower. 312 00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:10,746 OTHERS: Oh! Ooh! 313 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,487 Que, you hear that? 314 00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:14,532 Dave, see, you don't hear nothing. 315 00:13:14,576 --> 00:13:16,491 You're just out here giving out advice, 316 00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:18,493 when you don't know the whole story. 317 00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:20,538 See this right here? This is myshop. 318 00:13:20,582 --> 00:13:22,279 Actually, Pop, this is Que's shop. 319 00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:24,760 Boy, do you want to get shushed again? 320 00:13:26,762 --> 00:13:28,808 Okay, you know what, uh, Calvin? 321 00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:31,071 I really don't think that...You know what, Dave? 322 00:13:31,114 --> 00:13:34,335 I think you need to stop giving out advice and start listening. 323 00:13:34,378 --> 00:13:35,771 I mean, that's your problem. 324 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,860 You're in here, you're sitting in my chair, 325 00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,601 and you're overstepping. 326 00:13:39,644 --> 00:13:41,429 Come on, Pop. 327 00:13:41,472 --> 00:13:43,170 Now, get up and get out. 328 00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:46,521 Okay. 329 00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:48,436 I hear you. I'll go. 330 00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:50,307 Uh, Que, thanks for the cut. 331 00:13:50,351 --> 00:13:51,918 Jeremiah, I'll see you later. 332 00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:54,964 I'll call Trey and tell him that I'm sorry. 333 00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:58,794 You can't. His phone got thrown in the fire. Ha! 334 00:14:01,623 --> 00:14:02,537 Hi, guys. 335 00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:03,668 Oh, hey, Gemma. 336 00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:06,236 Hey, Calvin, you shaved your beard. 337 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:09,283 Uh, yeah. Tina likes it better this way. 338 00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:12,852 Oh, I know. She is not shy about her opinions. 339 00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:16,507 She told me I looked like I was going to a hoedown. 340 00:14:16,551 --> 00:14:18,814 So, is Dave still down at the shop? 341 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:22,731 No. N-No, he left a while ago. 342 00:14:22,774 --> 00:14:24,080 That's weird. He hasn't come home. 343 00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,908 Did he say where he was going? 344 00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:29,651 He did not, no. 345 00:14:29,694 --> 00:14:31,740 He must be doing all the things 346 00:14:31,783 --> 00:14:34,525 on his honey-do list he forgot to do yesterday. 347 00:14:34,569 --> 00:14:36,788 Or he's crying in the corner at The Container Store. 348 00:14:39,052 --> 00:14:41,663 Well, I just want to thank you guys. 349 00:14:41,706 --> 00:14:43,534 For what?Since we moved here, 350 00:14:43,578 --> 00:14:46,146 Dave's been having a really hard time missing his friends. 351 00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:47,756 I just really appreciate you 352 00:14:47,799 --> 00:14:50,280 being so willing to welcome him down at the barbershop. 353 00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:53,196 We are so lucky to have you guys as our neighbors. 354 00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:56,069 See ya. 355 00:14:56,112 --> 00:14:59,376 Why the hell they have to move here? 356 00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:05,992 [chuckles]: Ooh-hoo-hoo! 357 00:15:06,035 --> 00:15:10,779 Look at that smooth baby skin, yes! 358 00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:13,825 Let me sit right here 359 00:15:13,869 --> 00:15:16,045 and kiss that baby face! Mwa!Mmm. 360 00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:18,221 Mwa! Mwa! [laughs] 361 00:15:19,657 --> 00:15:20,963 What's the matter, baby? 362 00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:22,834 Eh, I'm just thinking. 363 00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:24,358 You ain't missing that hedgehog 364 00:15:24,401 --> 00:15:26,316 that was on your face, are you? 365 00:15:27,839 --> 00:15:29,798 No, babe, it's nothing like that. 366 00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:33,845 I just... I think I went too hard on Dave today 367 00:15:33,889 --> 00:15:35,978 down at the barbershop. 368 00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:38,850 Oh, you know, you did warn him that... 369 00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:41,375 joking around can be pretty rough down there. 370 00:15:41,418 --> 00:15:43,986 Yeah, I know, but this was different. 371 00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:45,988 You know what, baby, I would not worry about it. 372 00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:48,512 Dave is, like, the happiest guy I ever met. 373 00:15:48,556 --> 00:15:51,037 You know, the other day, I saw him high-five himself. 374 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,386 [chuckles] 375 00:15:52,429 --> 00:15:53,648 Who does that? 376 00:15:53,691 --> 00:15:56,259 Yeah, one day, I saw him miss. 377 00:15:56,303 --> 00:15:58,305 [laughs] 378 00:16:00,742 --> 00:16:02,787 You're right, you're right. 379 00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:06,269 You know what? He's a big boy. I'm sure he'll be fine. 380 00:16:06,313 --> 00:16:08,837 It's cool. He'll be fine, but in the meantime, 381 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,753 let me get that... that sugar. 382 00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:14,408 [guitar strums] 383 00:16:14,451 --> 00:16:17,063 DAVE: ♪ Four best friends from Kalamazoo ♪ 384 00:16:17,106 --> 00:16:19,848 What's that? 385 00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:23,808 It's... Dave singing the 'Zoo Crew anthem. 386 00:16:23,852 --> 00:16:25,027 [guitar strums] 387 00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:26,986 DAVE: ♪ Logan, Brad and Dave 388 00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:28,988 ♪ And Logan Number Two 389 00:16:31,207 --> 00:16:33,079 ♪ Need a good time? 390 00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:34,732 ♪ Whatcha gonna do? 391 00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:36,517 ♪ Gonna kick it hard-core 392 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,694 ♪ With the 'Zoo... 393 00:16:39,737 --> 00:16:42,044 ♪ Crew. 394 00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:43,828 Hey, Dave. 395 00:16:43,872 --> 00:16:45,917 Hey, Calvin. 396 00:16:45,961 --> 00:16:48,311 [sighs] So, you're missing your friends back home, huh? 397 00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:50,183 Yeah. What gave it away? Was it the song? 398 00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:52,011 [sighs] 399 00:16:52,054 --> 00:16:53,969 Look, man, I know I came down on you 400 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,927 kind of hard at the barbershop today, man. 401 00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:58,321 I'm surprised at how much it's affected me. 402 00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:00,323 You know, I'm usually pretty tough. 403 00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:03,152 Look, but I told you what it was like down there, man. 404 00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:05,850 We-we laugh, we snap on each other, 405 00:17:05,894 --> 00:17:09,506 we buy wholesale items of questionable origin. 406 00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:11,639 Yeah, but... 407 00:17:11,682 --> 00:17:14,555 it feels like what you did to me was different. 408 00:17:14,598 --> 00:17:16,557 Look, I tried to tell you, man, 409 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,776 you don't belong in the barbershop. 410 00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:20,300 Man, you just... 411 00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:21,953 you're a little too sensitive for it. 412 00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:23,651 No, that's not true. 413 00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:26,306 I have no problem with jokes about my awesome hair 414 00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:29,309 or how I look like numerous celebrities, 415 00:17:29,352 --> 00:17:31,267 both male and female. 416 00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:35,967 But what you did wasn't cool. 417 00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:37,882 But think about my position. 418 00:17:37,926 --> 00:17:40,755 I mean, I've been going to that barbershop for 30 years. 419 00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:43,758 I know all those people in there-- I know their history 420 00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:45,847 and their circumstance-- and then you come in 421 00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:49,981 with your NPR and obscure animal facts... 422 00:17:50,025 --> 00:17:53,811 and everybody starts listening to you instead of me. 423 00:17:53,855 --> 00:17:56,162 I mean, how you think that makes me feel? 424 00:17:56,205 --> 00:17:58,729 Like they forgot about you?Exactly. 425 00:17:58,773 --> 00:18:00,775 Yeah, I know how that feels. 426 00:18:00,818 --> 00:18:02,385 Check that out. 427 00:18:02,429 --> 00:18:05,997 Why-why are you showing me a picture of a dude's butt? 428 00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:08,652 Look at the tattoo. 429 00:18:08,696 --> 00:18:12,003 Everyone in the 'Zoo Crew got these last week without me. 430 00:18:12,047 --> 00:18:15,268 I've only been gone two months, and it already feels like 431 00:18:15,311 --> 00:18:17,879 it doesn't matter that I'm not there. 432 00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:21,404 So you feel leftbehind... 433 00:18:21,448 --> 00:18:24,842 by a bunch of dudes that got tattoos ontheir behind? 434 00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:30,848 It's just been really tough making friends 435 00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:32,285 since I moved here, Calvin. 436 00:18:32,328 --> 00:18:33,938 [sighs] 437 00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:40,423 You know, back at home, I mean, I used to be the coolest. 438 00:18:42,077 --> 00:18:44,732 I mean, you know, you're... 439 00:18:44,775 --> 00:18:47,648 you're cool, you know? 440 00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:49,911 I mean, Dave, come on, man. 441 00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:53,871 You walked into Que's barbershop and you held your own. 442 00:18:53,915 --> 00:18:56,004 It was pretty cool that I did that. 443 00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,181 Won $200 playing dice. 444 00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:01,749 [chuckles] You might want to check those twenties 445 00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:04,273 and make sure Obama's face is not on them. 446 00:19:04,317 --> 00:19:07,363 [laughs] 447 00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:10,497 Hey, look, I'm sorry I messed things up for you down at Que's. 448 00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:12,281 I promise I won't come back. 449 00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:14,979 Oh, man, no, it's cool. I mean, you're welcome in there 450 00:19:15,023 --> 00:19:17,852 anytime you want to... get your ears lowered. 451 00:19:18,896 --> 00:19:20,942 Well, good, 452 00:19:20,985 --> 00:19:23,510 'cause I don't anybody else who's gonna take my Obama bucks. 453 00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:25,599 [laughs] 454 00:19:25,642 --> 00:19:27,992 All right, man, I'll see you down there next Saturday? 455 00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:30,865 Next Saturday? That's in a week. 456 00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:32,736 Yo, how often you get your hair cut? 457 00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:34,390 I don't know, like, every two months. 458 00:19:34,434 --> 00:19:36,349 Two months? 459 00:19:36,392 --> 00:19:38,220 How often do you get your hair cut? 460 00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:40,048 Once a week. 461 00:19:40,091 --> 00:19:41,789 Seriously? 462 00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:44,052 Wouldn't have guessed you were so high-maintenance. 463 00:19:44,095 --> 00:19:48,230 I know. I only make looking this good seemeffortless. 464 00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:54,889 ♪ Two best friends... I'm not your best friend, Dave. 465 00:20:02,679 --> 00:20:05,378 Hey, everybody.[others greeting] 466 00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:06,988 Hey, we were just in the neighborhood. 467 00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:08,772 I wanted to introduce you all to my wife. 468 00:20:08,816 --> 00:20:09,860 Everyone, this is Gemma. 469 00:20:09,904 --> 00:20:11,210 Gemma, these are all my new friends. 470 00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:13,037 Hi. Hey. Nice to meet you.OTHERS: Hey, Gemma. Hey. 471 00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:13,995 Damn, Dave, 472 00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:15,736 if my wife was that fine, 473 00:20:15,779 --> 00:20:17,390 I wouldn't need no friends. 474 00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:19,000 [laughter] 475 00:20:19,043 --> 00:20:21,568 Really, Que? 'Cause... you live with your mama. 476 00:20:21,611 --> 00:20:24,310 Seems like you need all the friends you can get. 477 00:20:24,353 --> 00:20:26,573 OTHERS: Oh![laughter] 478 00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:30,011 Ooh, hey, uh, this is Jeremiah. 479 00:20:30,054 --> 00:20:32,143 Oh, you're the one who sold him the Spanx. 480 00:20:32,187 --> 00:20:33,928 I'm wearing them right now. 481 00:20:33,971 --> 00:20:35,799 So is Que. 482 00:20:35,843 --> 00:20:38,759 [laughter] 483 00:20:38,802 --> 00:20:40,151 Well, look, if you like those Spanx, 484 00:20:40,195 --> 00:20:41,675 you're gonna love these cashmere scarves. 485 00:20:41,718 --> 00:20:43,764 Just ten dollars each.Really? 486 00:20:43,807 --> 00:20:46,114 Mm-hmm. That's so cheap. Where did you get them? 487 00:20:46,157 --> 00:20:47,463 OTHERS: Whoa! Whoa! 488 00:20:48,812 --> 00:20:50,205 What? 489 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,381 Oh, are they stolen? 490 00:20:52,425 --> 00:20:54,427 OTHERS: Oh! 491 00:20:58,822 --> 00:21:02,783 Captioning sponsored by CBS 492 00:21:02,826 --> 00:21:06,917 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org