1
00:00:14,144 --> 00:00:16,146
Dad, can we go back inside?

2
00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:17,669
It's hot out here.

3
00:00:17,713 --> 00:00:19,671
Aw, come on, buddy,
it's not that bad.

4
00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:21,934
It's just a little
fall heat wave.

5
00:00:21,978 --> 00:00:26,678
Besides, it's cooled down
to a comfy... 102.

6
00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:30,117
Then can I at least have a turn?

7
00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:32,336
What are you talking about?

8
00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:34,338
I let you open the box.

9
00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:36,166
[engine approaches]

10
00:00:40,431 --> 00:00:41,302
Hey, Calvin.

11
00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:44,783
Hey, Dave.

12
00:00:45,871 --> 00:00:47,743
Why are you sitting
in your truck?

13
00:00:47,786 --> 00:00:52,052
Just trying to soak in some AC
for my run into the house.

14
00:00:53,662 --> 00:00:55,838
Okay. All right.

15
00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:58,710
Here I go.
[inhales]

16
00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:04,803
Calvin, wait.

17
00:01:04,847 --> 00:01:07,415
What?
[shouts]

18
00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:09,112
Damn it, you just made me
breathe out

19
00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:10,940
all my air conditioning.

20
00:01:10,983 --> 00:01:12,724
Hey, before you go inside,

21
00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:15,858
check out this sick loop
into a barrel roll.

22
00:01:15,901 --> 00:01:17,860
Now, first you lean
on the throttle,

23
00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:19,209
and then you pull back on the...

24
00:01:19,253 --> 00:01:20,819
Whoa, whoa, watch out
for the power line.

25
00:01:20,863 --> 00:01:22,865
[electricity crackles]Oh...

26
00:01:26,912 --> 00:01:29,828
Guess now I get to put it
back in the box.

27
00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:33,745
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

28
00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:35,095
♪ Welcome to the hood.

29
00:01:40,230 --> 00:01:44,060
Dave knocks out our power,
but his power stays on.

30
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:47,542
If that's not white privilege,
I don't know what to tell you.

31
00:01:49,065 --> 00:01:50,806
Hey, you know, Pop,

32
00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:53,200
it could take the city
a couple of days to fix it.

33
00:01:53,243 --> 00:01:55,115
You sure you don't want
to go with me to Marty's?

34
00:01:55,158 --> 00:01:57,117
No, this is Dave's fault.

35
00:01:57,160 --> 00:02:01,295
I'm staying at his place, eating
his food, and cranking his air.

36
00:02:01,338 --> 00:02:04,950
I'm thinking somewhere
between meat locker and igloo.

37
00:02:04,994 --> 00:02:06,952
[Tina shouts]

38
00:02:06,996 --> 00:02:09,738
Lord, it's like an oven in here.

39
00:02:09,781 --> 00:02:12,567
My nooks are starting
to stick to my crannies.

40
00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:16,136
If this is what hell feels like,

41
00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:18,225
I'm-a start going to church
more often. [chuckles]

42
00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:20,096
Even during football season?

43
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,315
It's not that hot.

44
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:28,104
[sighs] I feel so bad
that Calvin and Tina

45
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,758
have to spend
the night here.

46
00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:31,281
It was an accident.

47
00:02:31,325 --> 00:02:33,240
It wasan accident, right?

48
00:02:34,589 --> 00:02:36,112
Of course it was an accident.

49
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:40,203
I told you. Grover took it
out of the box wrong.

50
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,770
[banging on door]

51
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:46,253
Let us in! It's hot out here!

52
00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:49,560
TINA:
Yeah, I'm starting to sweat
my eyebrows off!

53
00:02:49,604 --> 00:02:51,736
Oh, hey, guys, come on in...Out of the way.

54
00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,999
[whoops]I'm looking for a vent.

55
00:02:54,043 --> 00:02:56,263
Oh, yeah, there it is. Okay.

56
00:02:56,306 --> 00:02:58,352
[whoops]
Get all over me. Yeah.

57
00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:01,137
Get in where you fit in,
right there.

58
00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:04,923
Yeah, uh, thanks again
for letting us stay here.

59
00:03:04,967 --> 00:03:06,882
Are you kidding?
We're so glad to have you.

60
00:03:06,925 --> 00:03:09,058
Oh, no! You don't want
any part of this.

61
00:03:09,101 --> 00:03:10,625
I'm funky as hell.

62
00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:13,236
And, guys, while you're here,

63
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,238
please consider
our home your home.

64
00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:17,501
Well, in that case, you're
Malcolm. Go get me a beer.

65
00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:22,419
Perfect. One pumpkin
spice lager coming up.

66
00:03:22,463 --> 00:03:26,380
Thanks, and, uh,
don't forget the beer.

67
00:03:26,423 --> 00:03:29,209
Okay, we've got you
all set up in our bedroom.

68
00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:31,994
Fresh towels, clean sheets,
and a bunch of little bottles

69
00:03:32,037 --> 00:03:34,257
of shampoo I stole
from a hotel.

70
00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:37,042
Ooh. Gemma, you didn't
have to do that.

71
00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:38,609
I know, but it was
such a rush.

72
00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:42,222
Okay, since you weren't
into the pumpkin spice,

73
00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:45,834
I got you something
a little more traditional.

74
00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:48,402
Is any part of
the name a fruit?

75
00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:52,710
I'm gonna run to the store.

76
00:03:52,754 --> 00:03:54,495
No, no, no, don't-- Dave.
Don't bother.

77
00:03:54,538 --> 00:03:56,888
We'll just go freshen up
and then come down for dinner.

78
00:03:56,932 --> 00:03:59,282
Oh, cool. Well, then, maybe
after that we can watch a movie,

79
00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:01,850
play a game, or, I don't know,
just kick it.

80
00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:04,200
Good night, everybody.

81
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,289
Good night. Oh...

82
00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:10,250
[knocking on door]

83
00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,472
Hey. What's up, man?[laughs]: Hey.

84
00:04:15,516 --> 00:04:16,995
Come on in, brother.

85
00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:19,259
Oh, wow, Marty,
your place looks great.

86
00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:20,738
I see you redecorated.

87
00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:22,958
Yeah. I like to call
my new aesthetic

88
00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:25,569
"Mid-Century Marty."[chuckles]:
Oh.

89
00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:30,182
Well, that's a nice change of
pace from "Last Century Calvin."

90
00:04:30,226 --> 00:04:31,749
It's good to have you, man.

91
00:04:31,793 --> 00:04:34,186
Take a load off,
make yourself comfortable.

92
00:04:34,230 --> 00:04:36,232
Thank you. Don't mind if I do.

93
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,755
Ah.

94
00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:39,191
Maybe not that comfortable.

95
00:04:39,235 --> 00:04:40,715
[laughs]:
Oh.

96
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:43,326
Okay. My bad.No, you know, it's just--

97
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:44,849
this is a coffee table,
not an ottoman.Right.

98
00:04:44,893 --> 00:04:46,416
Totally different
pieces of furniture.

99
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:49,593
Okay, I get it, man. Thank you.

100
00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:51,508
What is this?Wh-Wh-Whoa, whoa, whoa!

101
00:04:51,552 --> 00:04:54,032
Whoa, whoa!What, man, what?

102
00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:55,338
What do you think you're doing?

103
00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:57,514
Marty, I'm just checking out
your new toys.

104
00:04:57,558 --> 00:05:02,084
Toys? M-Malcolm, these are
scale models of the Saturn V,

105
00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:05,522
the Atlantisshuttle,
and the Apollo 11Lunar Module.

106
00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:07,350
Okay? These are some
of the most important examples

107
00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:10,919
of mankind's ascent into space.Right.

108
00:05:10,962 --> 00:05:13,487
Now, is that where they met
the Green Power Ranger?

109
00:05:14,749 --> 00:05:17,273
No, man.

110
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,362
He's there to protect them.

111
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:22,496
Hey, Marty, look, this
is all just stuff, bro.

112
00:05:22,539 --> 00:05:24,324
Don't be such a nerd.

113
00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:27,196
Oh, man, you know,
I'm not a nerd.

114
00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:30,895
You know, I'm not a nerd. Just,
uh, I like things a certain way.

115
00:05:30,939 --> 00:05:33,202
Yeah, I know you do. You used
to eat your alphabet soup

116
00:05:33,245 --> 00:05:35,378
in alphabetical order.

117
00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:37,249
Uh, hello?
That's called a system.

118
00:05:38,686 --> 00:05:40,383
And it's that kind
of attention to detail

119
00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:42,646
that makes JPL
hire a person like me.

120
00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:44,996
Yeah, well, I work at JPL, too.

121
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:48,304
[chuckles]:
Well, you know...

122
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,698
You know... No disrespect,
but-but you're a security guard.

123
00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:52,439
I-I'm an engineer.

124
00:05:52,482 --> 00:05:55,964
That's all disrespect.

125
00:05:56,007 --> 00:05:58,488
No, I-I'm just saying, man, like
i-if you press the wrong button,

126
00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:00,316
somebody gets off
on the wrong floor.

127
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,580
If I press the wrong button,
goodbye, Moon.

128
00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:05,321
Wait a minute,
you can blow up the moon?

129
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,844
You heard nothing.

130
00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:11,196
Listen, Malcolm, this is,
this is my place, you know?

131
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,981
So-so, while you're here,

132
00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:15,418
why don't we just keep things
the way that I like them?

133
00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:16,985
All right, man, fine.All right.

134
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:18,290
I'm-a go take a shower.

135
00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:20,815
Unless you're uncomfortable
with that, too.

136
00:06:20,858 --> 00:06:22,120
Don't be silly.

137
00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:24,035
[chuckles]:
All right.

138
00:06:24,079 --> 00:06:25,559
Just don't take your cell phone
in there.

139
00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:27,604
I don't like the radiation
near my Q-tips.

140
00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:35,917
Oh, hey, Gem. I was
just coming down

141
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,180
to get a glass of wine!

142
00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:42,271
Oh, my God.

143
00:06:42,314 --> 00:06:46,144
It's okay. It's just
a hydrating sheet mask.

144
00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:47,494
Well, are you sure?
Because it looks like

145
00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:49,800
you're wearing
your victim's face.

146
00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:52,455
Oh, like, Hannibal Lecter?

147
00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:54,805
[English accent]:
"I enjoyed his liver

148
00:06:54,849 --> 00:06:57,417
with some fava beans
and a nice Chia..."

149
00:06:57,460 --> 00:07:00,071
[gagging]

150
00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:02,073
[regular accent]: I think I just
swallowed some of my mask.

151
00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:03,335
Oh...

152
00:07:03,379 --> 00:07:04,815
[coughs]

153
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:07,470
So, do you do
one of those every night?

154
00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:09,341
Oh, no. Just once a week.

155
00:07:09,385 --> 00:07:11,343
What do you do for your skin?

156
00:07:11,387 --> 00:07:12,910
Well, I have
this complex regimen

157
00:07:12,954 --> 00:07:14,695
that I do seven nights a week.

158
00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:17,219
[gasps]
Ooh, what is it?

159
00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:18,438
It's called being black.

160
00:07:24,835 --> 00:07:27,447
Damn. Gemma wasn't joking.

161
00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:30,841
She jacked, like,
50 hotels' worth of shampoo.

162
00:07:30,885 --> 00:07:33,017
You know,

163
00:07:33,061 --> 00:07:35,411
I'm keeping my eye on her the
next time she uses our bathroom.

164
00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:39,807
Well, I know I ain't getting
a good night's sleep tonight.

165
00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:42,810
These sheets are grabbing me
like Velcro.

166
00:07:42,853 --> 00:07:45,421
They feel good to me.
They feel smooth.

167
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:49,860
Not smooth enough. You know
how I like to slip around.

168
00:07:54,299 --> 00:07:58,652
Stop complaining
and just, just put on the TV.

169
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:02,656
Fine. But I'm buying a movie
whether we watch it or not.

170
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:05,006
Where's the remote?

171
00:08:05,049 --> 00:08:07,312
I don't know.
Check Dave's nightstand.

172
00:08:07,356 --> 00:08:09,967
Oh... Yeah.

173
00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:12,840
Ain't nothing in here but
a bunch of self-help books.

174
00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:15,625
Building Connections
with Kindness.

175
00:08:15,669 --> 00:08:19,586
Even his books are annoying.

176
00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:21,501
Calvin, stop snooping around.

177
00:08:21,544 --> 00:08:23,503
White people got cameras.

178
00:08:27,898 --> 00:08:30,422
[laughs]
Look at this, Tina.

179
00:08:30,466 --> 00:08:31,946
Dave has a Bible, too.

180
00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:34,078
You know what? Maybe
we should invite him

181
00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:35,602
to our church sometime.

182
00:08:35,645 --> 00:08:37,604
[laughs]

183
00:08:37,647 --> 00:08:40,128
Could you imagine
Dave at a black church?

184
00:08:40,171 --> 00:08:42,130
What?
That tambourine
would never recover.

185
00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:43,435
[laughs]

186
00:08:44,915 --> 00:08:46,613
Oh, hold on, this ain't a Bible.

187
00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:49,920
Oh, no, baby,
that must be Dave's journal.

188
00:08:49,964 --> 00:08:51,574
Put that back. That's not right.

189
00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:53,576
Oh, no, it's okay, Tina.

190
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:56,666
He already tells me
everything anyway. You know?

191
00:08:56,710 --> 00:09:01,541
Oh, ooh, this is good, too,
right here. Check this out.

192
00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:05,414
"Old Miss Kim made me
uncomfortable again today.

193
00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:08,373
Why would she want
to drink my bathwater?"

194
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:16,468
Hey, Dave, if you're watching,
I'm not in this.

195
00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:19,036
[laughs]: Oh.
Here's another one right here.

196
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,561
"Came up with
my own cool handshake.

197
00:09:21,604 --> 00:09:24,041
Gonna try it out
on Malcolm tomorrow."

198
00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:25,652
Look, he even drew pictures
and everything.

199
00:09:25,695 --> 00:09:27,523
Look at this...

200
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,830
Calvin, Calvin, look,
that's enough.

201
00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:32,659
Okay? Enough with the journal.[stammers] Just one more, okay?

202
00:09:32,702 --> 00:09:34,574
Oh, my God.[laughs]

203
00:09:34,617 --> 00:09:36,227
Wait, wait a minute.
What the hell?

204
00:09:36,271 --> 00:09:38,447
What?

205
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:39,927
L-Let me see
your reading glasses.

206
00:09:39,970 --> 00:09:43,234
Oh, uh, here. Here, here.

207
00:09:43,278 --> 00:09:46,020
Mmm.

208
00:09:46,063 --> 00:09:50,546
"Calvin Butler thinks
he's such a big shot,

209
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,679
"but the truth is
he's a ridiculous,

210
00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:55,116
insecure little man."

211
00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:59,555
Damn, Dave, that's cold.

212
00:10:07,476 --> 00:10:09,434
Who the hell does
Dave think he is,

213
00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:11,872
calling me insecure
and ridiculous?

214
00:10:11,915 --> 00:10:13,656
I'll tell you what's ridiculous.

215
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,745
This handshake.
That's ridiculous.

216
00:10:15,789 --> 00:10:19,183
It's got a pinkie swear in it.

217
00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:20,663
Calvin, stop reading that.

218
00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:22,273
It's just hurting
your feelings, baby.

219
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:23,753
Feelings?
Yeah.

220
00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:26,103
Tina, I'm a man.
I don't have feelings.

221
00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:30,455
Besides, I don't give a damn
what Dave thinks of me.

222
00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:33,807
Okay. Well, in that case,
let's go to sleep.

223
00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:35,852
Yeah, let's go to sleep.

224
00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,201
Okay.

225
00:10:39,508 --> 00:10:41,031
CALVIN:
I can't sleep![Tina grunts]

226
00:10:42,511 --> 00:10:44,426
I need to get this off
my chest right now.

227
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,169
Damn these Velcro sheets.

228
00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:51,476
Calvin, Calvin, stop.

229
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:54,262
You cannot talk to Dave.Why not?

230
00:10:54,305 --> 00:10:55,959
Because he'll know
that you read his journal,

231
00:10:56,003 --> 00:10:59,615
and no matter what he wrote,
baby, that was wrong.

232
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,269
I don't care.

233
00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:05,012
Well, do you care that it's 105
degrees in our house right now?

234
00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:08,102
Sleep well, Tina.

235
00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:12,149
Good morning, Malcolm.

236
00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:15,413
[shrieks]

237
00:11:15,457 --> 00:11:18,982
Good morning, Martin.
Are you ready to go to work?

238
00:11:19,026 --> 00:11:20,941
What-what happened?

239
00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:24,988
Well, I don't know.
I'm just a security guard.

240
00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:30,341
You probably need a fancy
engineer to figure this out.

241
00:11:30,385 --> 00:11:32,953
Okay. This isn't funny.

242
00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:34,781
Oh, I strongly disagree.

243
00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:36,608
[laughs]
All right.

244
00:11:36,652 --> 00:11:38,872
All right, you made your point.
Now help me put everything back.

245
00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:41,744
This chair goes here. Okay?

246
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:43,833
These stools go
right over here and...

247
00:11:43,877 --> 00:11:46,923
[gasps]
Ooh!

248
00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:51,972
Why is Spock holding hands
with Optimus Prime?

249
00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:53,930
Wait a minute.
Don't judge, Marty.

250
00:11:53,974 --> 00:11:55,758
Love is love, brother.

251
00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:57,151
[laughs]

252
00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:58,674
"Love is love." No.

253
00:11:58,718 --> 00:11:59,936
Spock can't love.

254
00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,895
He doesn't have emotions!

255
00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:09,641
Are we having chocolate chip
pancakes for breakfast?

256
00:12:09,685 --> 00:12:12,514
Yeah. We wanted to do something
special for the Butlers.

257
00:12:12,557 --> 00:12:14,777
I'm so glad
we broke their house.

258
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:17,040
[chuckles]

259
00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:18,738
Good morning.

260
00:12:18,781 --> 00:12:20,478
Oh, hey, how'd you guys sleep?

261
00:12:20,522 --> 00:12:23,307
[quietly]:
Like he cares.
[mouths]

262
00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:25,570
I hope you're hungry.

263
00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:27,268
We made chocolate chip pancakes.

264
00:12:27,311 --> 00:12:29,009
Yeah, I remembered
they're your favorite.

265
00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:32,099
[chuckles]
You don't know me, Dave.

266
00:12:33,535 --> 00:12:35,319
Are you still mad
about the drone?

267
00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:38,540
Oh, no. No, that was
a blessing in disguise.

268
00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:41,761
I totally agree.

269
00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:44,894
Okay, then, uh,
what's bothering you?

270
00:12:44,938 --> 00:12:46,896
I'll tell you
what's bothering me...Calvin.

271
00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:48,158
No, Tina.

272
00:12:48,202 --> 00:12:50,682
Look, I am too upset.
I got to speak my mind.

273
00:12:50,726 --> 00:12:52,859
It's all the shampoo I stole,
isn't it?

274
00:12:52,902 --> 00:12:55,209
I have a problem.

275
00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:58,299
What-what-- no, no, no, no.

276
00:12:58,342 --> 00:13:00,562
Actually, this is between
Calvin and Dave.

277
00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:03,565
So why don't we go into the
living room and watch cartoons?

278
00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:07,612
And we'll talk about getting you
into a program.

279
00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:12,226
Okay, Calvin, what's going on?

280
00:13:12,269 --> 00:13:14,228
I'll tell you what's going on.

281
00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:18,014
You called me a ridiculous,
insecure little man.

282
00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:21,061
When did I say that?

283
00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:23,019
August 3.

284
00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:27,894
Right after Old Miss Kim
tried to get busy with you.

285
00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:30,853
What are you...?

286
00:13:33,508 --> 00:13:35,510
Calvin, did you read my journal?

287
00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:39,122
Maybe.

288
00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:42,822
That is a total violation
of my privacy.

289
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,040
How could you do that?

290
00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:45,912
Look, if you didn't want
anybody to read it,

291
00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:47,174
you shouldn't have
left it buried

292
00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:49,524
in the back of your nightstand.

293
00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:51,047
I can't believe you did this.

294
00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:53,223
I-I thought we were friends.And so did I,

295
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:56,444
until I went behind your back
and read your journal.

296
00:13:56,487 --> 00:14:00,274
You know, based on the way
that you are acting,

297
00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:02,754
I was right on about August 3.

298
00:14:02,798 --> 00:14:05,714
And September 15.

299
00:14:07,716 --> 00:14:09,283
What'd you say then?

300
00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:11,154
You'll never know.

301
00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:12,808
You know what? Forget this.

302
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,027
I'm out of here.

303
00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:16,899
A-And for your information,

304
00:14:16,943 --> 00:14:21,034
Old Miss Kim beentrying
to drink my bathwater.

305
00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:25,603
You ain't special, Dave.

306
00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:31,261
Hey, I was told
I need to escort

307
00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:33,089
a terminated employee
out of the building?

308
00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:35,004
He's right in here
packing up.

309
00:14:35,048 --> 00:14:36,397
All right.

310
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:39,182
Oh, wait. Uh...

311
00:14:39,226 --> 00:14:41,184
Marty, you're not the one
who's fired, are you?

312
00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:43,099
Yeah. I transposed
some coordinates,

313
00:14:43,143 --> 00:14:45,145
and now our GPS satellite
is sending everybody

314
00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:47,234
to a Starbucks in Wyoming.

315
00:14:47,277 --> 00:14:50,193
Wh-- how'd you do that?

316
00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:52,674
I'll tell you how.
You messed up my stuff.

317
00:14:52,717 --> 00:14:55,198
I was too stressed to focus
and now I'm fired.

318
00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:57,766
Oh, wait.
Hey, look-look, uh, uh, Bill,

319
00:14:57,809 --> 00:14:59,289
this is all my fault, all right?

320
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:00,595
Just tell me
what the damages are

321
00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:02,075
and you can take it
out of my paycheck.

322
00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:04,207
He lost a multimillion-dollar
satellite.

323
00:15:04,251 --> 00:15:06,209
Okay, I'm-a need
to work some overtime.

324
00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:10,257
It's too late, Malcolm.
There's nothing you can do.

325
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:13,303
Hey, look. Come on, man.

326
00:15:13,347 --> 00:15:15,566
You cannot fire Marty,
all right?

327
00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:17,046
You should see his apartment.

328
00:15:17,090 --> 00:15:19,309
It is practically
a shrine to all this...

329
00:15:19,353 --> 00:15:22,138
nerd stuff that y'all do here.

330
00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:24,488
Uh, sorry, but it's
out of my hands.

331
00:15:24,532 --> 00:15:26,534
Yeah, but this job
is his life, man.

332
00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:28,536
He can't lose it because of me.

333
00:15:28,579 --> 00:15:29,972
Well, maybe you should have
thought about that

334
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:31,278
before you pulled
your stupid prank.

335
00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:32,975
Look, I know.
Y-You're right, Marty.

336
00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:35,717
I just, I thought
it would be funny.

337
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,110
But it wasn't, was it?

338
00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:40,287
[sighs]
No.

339
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:42,942
You want you know what is?What?

340
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:45,118
The fact that I'm pranking you
right now!

341
00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:47,685
[laughter]
Yeah.

342
00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:49,600
[whooping]

343
00:15:49,644 --> 00:15:50,906
Yeah!

344
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,908
Wait, wait, wait, wait, so...

345
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,562
all of you were in on this?

346
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:57,521
That's right.
I've never felt so cool.

347
00:15:57,565 --> 00:16:00,481
You should've seen
your face.

348
00:16:00,524 --> 00:16:03,963
"But this job is his life.
He can't lose it 'cause of me."

349
00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:05,965
[laughter]

350
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:07,967
Okay, well,
what can I say, Marty?

351
00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:10,621
You got me good.Oh, I did, didn't I?

352
00:16:10,665 --> 00:16:12,101
It was pretty funny, right?

353
00:16:12,145 --> 00:16:14,669
That was really funny.

354
00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:16,714
Can I have a head start?

355
00:16:16,758 --> 00:16:18,716
Five, four...

356
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,240
Save me, Bill!...three...

357
00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:22,938
Bill's not gonna save you.

358
00:16:24,331 --> 00:16:26,333
[knocking on door]

359
00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:31,512
Oh. Hello, Calvin.

360
00:16:31,555 --> 00:16:36,343
Or should I say Snoop Dogg?

361
00:16:36,386 --> 00:16:39,085
Do you even know who that is?

362
00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:40,390
Of course I do.

363
00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:42,697
He hosts a cooking show
with Martha Stewart.

364
00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:48,181
Well, I'm just here because Tina
forgot her overnight bag.

365
00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:50,400
Well, it's probably still up
in the bedroom. Go ahead.

366
00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:53,099
All right. Cool. Uh...

367
00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:54,448
Dave isn't here, is he?

368
00:16:54,491 --> 00:16:57,190
No, he's out buying
a journal with a lock.

369
00:16:59,757 --> 00:17:03,239
I'll just go upstairs
and get Tina's stuff.

370
00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:05,372
Oh, and, uh,

371
00:17:05,415 --> 00:17:08,505
she told me that, uh,
I'm supposed to give you this.

372
00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:10,333
Five dollars?

373
00:17:10,377 --> 00:17:12,292
Yeah, I accidentally knocked
Dave's toothbrush

374
00:17:12,335 --> 00:17:14,294
into the toilet.

375
00:17:14,337 --> 00:17:16,035
How did that happen?

376
00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:17,601
Just take the money.

377
00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:30,049
The hell are you doing here?

378
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:32,312
What the hell happened
to the rest of your robe?

379
00:17:34,879 --> 00:17:36,446
Gemma let you in here?

380
00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:38,579
She sure did.

381
00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:42,061
Hold up. Did Tina leave
her bag here on purpose?

382
00:17:42,104 --> 00:17:44,628
She sure did.

383
00:17:44,672 --> 00:17:47,762
The two of you are gonna stay
here until you work this out.

384
00:17:47,805 --> 00:17:49,851
Oh. [scoffs]
The hell I am.

385
00:17:51,287 --> 00:17:53,028
You know you can't
stop me, right?

386
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,725
Bring it.

387
00:17:58,164 --> 00:18:00,470
Dave, we gonna have
to work this out, man.

388
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:05,649
I'm glad to hear that.
We'll be downstairs.

389
00:18:05,693 --> 00:18:09,740
Oh, and, Dave,
don't brush your teeth.

390
00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:14,267
You know,
none of this would've happened

391
00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:16,704
if you would've just came
and talked to me like a man

392
00:18:16,747 --> 00:18:19,794
instead of writing it down
in your little book.

393
00:18:19,837 --> 00:18:21,796
Well, I wouldn't write about you

394
00:18:21,839 --> 00:18:24,015
if you didn't insult me
all the time.

395
00:18:24,059 --> 00:18:25,365
I don't insult you.

396
00:18:25,408 --> 00:18:27,367
The other day you called me
"flamingo knees."

397
00:18:27,410 --> 00:18:30,500
That's not an insult.
That's a fact.

398
00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:32,763
Stand on one leg. You'll see it.

399
00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:34,765
[mutters]:
Damn it.

400
00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:38,334
You know what your problem is?

401
00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:39,901
You don't care
if you hurt people.

402
00:18:39,944 --> 00:18:41,207
Look, I'm just keeping it real.

403
00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:42,512
Oh, okay, maybe I should just
"keep it real,"

404
00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:44,035
and see how you like it.

405
00:18:44,079 --> 00:18:45,515
Come on. Come at me, Dave.

406
00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:46,603
Your hairline's receding.

407
00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:53,349
Oh. Oh, we keeping it real real.

408
00:18:53,393 --> 00:18:56,439
Yeah, doesn't feel
so good, does it?

409
00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:59,181
Look, man, you can't take
what I say so personal.

410
00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:01,792
Well, uh, then, why do you take
what I wrote so personal?

411
00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:03,707
Because that's
totally different.
How?

412
00:19:03,751 --> 00:19:05,840
What I'm doing to you,
I'm just messing around.

413
00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:07,189
But what you wrote about me,

414
00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:08,973
that was an attack
on my character.

415
00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:13,108
Says the guy who went through
my stuff and read my journal?

416
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,155
Okay. All right, you know...

417
00:19:17,547 --> 00:19:19,506
I mean, you know,
you got me on that one.

418
00:19:19,549 --> 00:19:23,597
You know, I'm... I was wrong
for that, and I apologize.

419
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:24,815
Thank you.

420
00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:26,904
Look, man,
but I'm the kind of dude

421
00:19:26,948 --> 00:19:28,471
that's always gonna say
what I mean,

422
00:19:28,515 --> 00:19:30,430
so if we're gonna be friends,

423
00:19:30,473 --> 00:19:31,953
you're gonna have
to deal with that.

424
00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:35,826
Okay, fine. But I'm gonna
deal with it my way.

425
00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:37,524
Fine.

426
00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:40,440
You know, 'cause if
you think about it--

427
00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:43,617
and I know a lot of people say
this about me--

428
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:45,662
I'm just too funny.[laughs]

429
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:51,233
All right.All right.

430
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:52,495
We back to being us?

431
00:19:52,539 --> 00:19:54,367
We're good, man.
All right.

432
00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:02,201
[exhales sharply]

433
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,599
You know,
we'll keep working on that.

434
00:20:15,953 --> 00:20:18,391
Oh, since when
did we get Netflix?

435
00:20:18,434 --> 00:20:21,524
Since your dad stole
Dave's password.

436
00:20:21,568 --> 00:20:23,439
Yeah, see, that explains
why the "continue watching"

437
00:20:23,483 --> 00:20:26,573
is Marley & Me.

438
00:20:26,616 --> 00:20:29,532
Come on, Calvin, we're ready
to start the movie!

439
00:20:29,576 --> 00:20:31,142
CALVIN:
I'm coming!

440
00:20:36,147 --> 00:20:39,107
Oh, oh. Marley & Me.

441
00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:40,804
Yeah.

442
00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:53,556
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

443
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,602
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org