1
00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:10,488
All right, Malcolm,
be careful up there.

2
00:00:10,532 --> 00:00:12,838
Well, don't worry,
Dad. I got him.

3
00:00:12,882 --> 00:00:14,362
I'm not worried about Malcolm.

4
00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:16,016
I'm worried about my lights.

5
00:00:16,059 --> 00:00:17,582
Those are

6
00:00:17,626 --> 00:00:20,542
practically new.
I bought them on my honeymoon.

7
00:00:20,585 --> 00:00:21,934
Yeah, which is why every year,

8
00:00:21,978 --> 00:00:23,632
I get shocked
by these janky wires.

9
00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:26,678
It's called
Christmas tradition.

10
00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:30,508
Okay, Marty, it's time
for a moment of truth.

11
00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:32,467
Plug 'em in.

12
00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:36,862
[laughing]:
Uh...

13
00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:38,647
first can I grab
some rubber gloves?

14
00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:40,475
You know, I don't want a repeat
of last year.

15
00:00:40,518 --> 00:00:42,042
Would you
stop crying?

16
00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:43,869
Your mustache grew back.

17
00:00:43,913 --> 00:00:45,697
Okay, here we go.

18
00:00:45,741 --> 00:00:47,221
Ha, ha!

19
00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:48,439
One. [laughs]

20
00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:50,093
Two.

21
00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:51,573
Hey, Merry
Christmas, guys.

22
00:00:51,616 --> 00:00:53,401
Ah, thank God.

23
00:00:53,444 --> 00:00:55,533
Hey, Dave, what's with the hat
and the scarf, man?

24
00:00:55,577 --> 00:00:57,448
It's 80 degrees.CALVIN:
Yeah.

25
00:00:57,492 --> 00:01:00,495
You keep all that on, you're
gonna roast your chestnuts.

26
00:01:00,538 --> 00:01:03,672
I'm just trying to get
into the Christmas spirit.

27
00:01:03,715 --> 00:01:06,240
You know, in Michigan,
we'd be having snowball fights,

28
00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:08,546
going sledding,
building snowmen.

29
00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:10,548
Boy, do I miss it.

30
00:01:10,592 --> 00:01:11,636
That's right. Last year,

31
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:12,594
you guys spent Christmas
in Kalamazoo.

32
00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:14,552
And boy, do I miss it.

33
00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:18,252
Yeah. W-We went back
because of my mom.

34
00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:20,471
But this year,
we decided to stay here.

35
00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:22,299
Again, because of my mom.

36
00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:26,086
I just wish it felt a little
more Christmasy out here.

37
00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:29,176
Hey, it's plenty
Christmasy out here.

38
00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:31,395
I mean, just yesterday,
Crackhead Victor tried

39
00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:33,484
to sell me a dime bag
of mistletoe.

40
00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:36,357
Uh, you know, Dave,

41
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,967
if you want
to feel Christmasy,

42
00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:41,188
uh, why don't you do the honors
and plug in our lights?

43
00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:42,537
Oh, man, I'd love to!

44
00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:44,582
Okay, well, now hold on.

45
00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:48,195
Now, Dave, those shoes
do have a rubber sole, right?

46
00:01:48,238 --> 00:01:49,674
Yeah.

47
00:01:49,718 --> 00:01:51,241
Well, then light 'em up!

48
00:01:52,547 --> 00:01:55,419
Here we go.

49
00:01:57,726 --> 00:02:00,511
Damn, Dave, you broke my lights.

50
00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:03,993
And those were practically new.

51
00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:05,647
All I did was plug 'em in.

52
00:02:05,690 --> 00:02:07,170
Yeah, but you probably didn't...

53
00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:10,521
[electrical hissing,
groaning]

54
00:02:10,565 --> 00:02:11,914
[whimpers]

55
00:02:11,957 --> 00:02:14,569
Hey, uh,
don't-don't
worry, Dad.

56
00:02:14,612 --> 00:02:16,005
Your mustache
will grow back.

57
00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:19,574
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

58
00:02:19,617 --> 00:02:20,749
♪ Welcome to the hood.

59
00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:25,493
Ah. Hey, Santa.

60
00:02:25,536 --> 00:02:27,321
You know,
you're the only black man

61
00:02:27,364 --> 00:02:28,670
that can sneak
in people's houses

62
00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:30,237
and everybody's cool with it.

63
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,108
DAVE:
Hey, Calvin.

64
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,154
Heads up. I'm coming in hot!

65
00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:37,157
Whoa.

66
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:38,462
[chuckles]

67
00:02:38,506 --> 00:02:41,378
Black Santa, meet White Dave.

68
00:02:41,422 --> 00:02:43,815
What's cracking, Kringle?

69
00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:45,208
What's with the scooter?

70
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:47,123
It's Grover's Christmas present.

71
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,733
They're sold out
everywhere. I had to go

72
00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:50,387
to six different
stores to get one.Oh.

73
00:02:50,431 --> 00:02:52,259
That reminds me
of when the boys wanted

74
00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:53,912
a Tickle Me Elmo
for Christmas.

75
00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:55,436
How many stores you go to?

76
00:02:55,479 --> 00:02:58,830
None. They could tickle
each other for free.

77
00:02:58,874 --> 00:03:00,745
All right, well,
I better go hide this

78
00:03:00,789 --> 00:03:02,356
before Grover
and Gemma get back

79
00:03:02,399 --> 00:03:03,966
from having their picture
taken with Santa.

80
00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:06,447
Oh, you didn't
want to go?
No.

81
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,318
I already got mine.

82
00:03:08,362 --> 00:03:10,451
I see someone didn't open
their e-mail.

83
00:03:13,497 --> 00:03:15,412
[whirring]

84
00:03:15,456 --> 00:03:17,501
Can I lick the beaters?

85
00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:19,329
Sweetie,
the batter has raw eggs in it.

86
00:03:19,373 --> 00:03:21,026
You could make yourself sick.

87
00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:24,378
Are you just saying that so
you can keep them for yourself?

88
00:03:24,421 --> 00:03:27,511
Fine, but I get the one
with more on it.

89
00:03:27,555 --> 00:03:29,296
[knocking at door]

90
00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:31,298
TINA:
Hey, Gemma, where
are you, girl?

91
00:03:31,341 --> 00:03:33,517
In the kitchen!
Quick, hide these.

92
00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:35,432
There's not enough
batter for all of us.

93
00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:36,738
Hey, what are
you guys...?

94
00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:38,522
There's none left!

95
00:03:40,829 --> 00:03:42,309
Hey, Tina. What's up?

96
00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:44,224
Well, I came by
to grab those old toys

97
00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:45,616
for the charity drive at church.

98
00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:47,749
I'll be damned
if I let Loretta Banks think

99
00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:49,359
she's a better Christian
than me.

100
00:03:49,403 --> 00:03:51,535
Oh. They're right here.Awesome.

101
00:03:51,579 --> 00:03:54,799
Hey, those are mine.Yeah, but if you don't get rid
of your old toys,

102
00:03:54,843 --> 00:03:57,324
there won't be enough room
for Santa to bring you new ones.

103
00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:59,674
Well, if it's for the kids.

104
00:04:01,023 --> 00:04:03,243
So, what are
you guys making?

105
00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:04,418
Gingerbread men.

106
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:06,115
Oh.We make them every year.

107
00:04:06,158 --> 00:04:07,986
It's our mommy-son
tradition.

108
00:04:08,030 --> 00:04:10,641
Aw, I miss when my boys were
little. We used to dress up

109
00:04:10,685 --> 00:04:12,861
in our Christmas sweaters
and make ornaments

110
00:04:12,904 --> 00:04:15,646
out of Popsicle sticks
and dry pasta.

111
00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:17,518
Oh, that's so sweet.

112
00:04:17,561 --> 00:04:19,346
Yeah, it was, until the year

113
00:04:19,389 --> 00:04:21,478
that Malcolm crammed macaroni
up Marty's nose.

114
00:04:21,522 --> 00:04:24,351
Was he okay?

115
00:04:24,394 --> 00:04:26,527
Oh, yeah. He whistled
when he slept for a while, but,

116
00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:28,964
you know, as soon as he caught
a cold, he sneezed it right out.

117
00:04:29,007 --> 00:04:30,444
[both laugh]

118
00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:32,794
Well, thanks
again for these.You're welcome.

119
00:04:32,837 --> 00:04:34,491
Oh, and, uh, by the way,

120
00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:36,754
I know you two are holding
out on that batter.

121
00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:39,540
And Santa does, too.

122
00:04:42,194 --> 00:04:45,023
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...

123
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:48,549
Hey, Calvin! Something
terrible happened.

124
00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:51,247
I know. I saw
your picture with Santa.

125
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:54,946
You were way too big
to be sitting in his lap.

126
00:04:54,990 --> 00:04:57,166
No, I was robbed.

127
00:04:57,209 --> 00:04:59,690
Somebody broke into my garage
and took Grover's scooter.

128
00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:01,910
Whoa. Are you sure?
May-Maybe Gemma moved it.

129
00:05:01,953 --> 00:05:04,695
No, there was a broken window,
and they ransacked the place.

130
00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:08,873
My spring sweater collection
is all over the floor!

131
00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:11,398
So we won't be looking
for anybody in a pink V-neck.

132
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,576
I can't believe that somebody
would do something like this

133
00:05:15,619 --> 00:05:17,360
right before the
holidays. I mean,

134
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:19,667
what kind of Christmas spirit
do people have around here?

135
00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:21,277
Okay, hold on now.

136
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,148
Every neighborhood has
a few knuckleheads.

137
00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:25,673
I mean, doesn't mean
we don't have Christmas spirit.

138
00:05:25,716 --> 00:05:28,806
Yeah, well, all I know is,
I don't have a gift for Grover.

139
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:31,461
And he doesn't even have
a brother he can tickle!

140
00:05:31,505 --> 00:05:34,072
Okay. All right,
all right, just relax.

141
00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:37,554
I think I know where we can go
to get your scooter back.Where?

142
00:05:37,598 --> 00:05:39,600
The barbershop.
It's where everybody

143
00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:41,689
in the neighborhood goes
to get information.

144
00:05:41,732 --> 00:05:44,344
It's like Black Google.

145
00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:47,172
It's how I found out
Queen Latifah was my cousin.

146
00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:51,829
Hey, hey, check it out.

147
00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:53,527
What's all this?

148
00:05:53,570 --> 00:05:55,093
Oh, I don't know.

149
00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:57,444
Popsicle sticks,
yarn, macaroni.

150
00:05:57,487 --> 00:05:59,184
[gasps]
It's back--

151
00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:00,795
Christmas quality time
with Mom!

152
00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,451
No, man. We are
way too old.

153
00:06:04,494 --> 00:06:06,278
She wouldn't really
expect us to be...

154
00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:08,455
There are
my sweet babies.

155
00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:12,720
Who's ready
to make ornaments with Mommy?

156
00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:14,417
BOTH:
We are.

157
00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:15,810
Yes!

158
00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:22,077
So what's the plan
when we get in there?

159
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,427
Squeeze 'em 'till
we get the juice?

160
00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:26,647
What?

161
00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:29,650
You know, put the screws
on 'em 'till we get the 411.

162
00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:32,609
Why are you talking

163
00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:34,568
like a gangster
from the Disney Channel?

164
00:06:34,611 --> 00:06:37,962
Since everyone in there
already knows you,

165
00:06:38,006 --> 00:06:40,965
I figured you'd be good
cop, I'll be bad cop.

166
00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:42,967
Okay, all right, first of all,

167
00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:45,274
if we want anybody
to help us around here,

168
00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:46,841
don't say the word "cop."

169
00:06:46,884 --> 00:06:49,191
And second,

170
00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:51,454
we got to handle this
delicately, all right?

171
00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:54,196
Nobody wants
to be labelled a snitch.Okay.

172
00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:55,676
So, what do you
want me to do?

173
00:06:55,719 --> 00:06:59,244
Nothing. Just lay back
in the cut like a Band-Aid.

174
00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:01,551
Got it.

175
00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:03,597
What does that mean?

176
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:06,861
It means, just
sit back and chill

177
00:07:06,904 --> 00:07:09,690
while I find out
if anybody knows anything.

178
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:11,518
Okay. What if no
one's willing to talk?

179
00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:13,476
[chuckles]
Dave, come on.

180
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:16,740
These are decent, stand-up guys
that want to do the right thing.

181
00:07:16,784 --> 00:07:20,048
Plus, if they don't,
I got dirt on all them fools.

182
00:07:23,573 --> 00:07:25,575
Merry Christmas, everybody.

183
00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:26,968
ALL:
Hey, Calvin.

184
00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:28,448
Hey, uh, listen up, y'all.

185
00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:30,362
My man Dave here...

186
00:07:30,406 --> 00:07:31,581
Oh, we're losing time!

187
00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:33,975
I want answers,
and I want 'em now!

188
00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:37,674
What are you doing?I'm coming out the cut!

189
00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:40,982
Now, no one is
leaving this room

190
00:07:41,025 --> 00:07:44,159
until I find out who
took my son's scooter!

191
00:07:52,776 --> 00:07:54,778
Starting now!

192
00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:02,656
All right, now listen up. Some
sticky-fingered dirtbag broke

193
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:05,789
into my garage and disappeared
my kid's Christmas present.

194
00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:08,444
So one of you canaries
better start singing

195
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,011
real quick!

196
00:08:11,795 --> 00:08:16,931
Look, what Bugsy Malone
is trying to say

197
00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:18,323
is that he got robbed
last night,

198
00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:20,325
and we could use some help.

199
00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:22,284
Sorry, Calvin.
I haven't heard anything.

200
00:08:22,327 --> 00:08:23,981
How about y'all?

201
00:08:24,025 --> 00:08:25,374
[negative murmurs]

202
00:08:25,417 --> 00:08:28,116
[laughing]:
Okay.

203
00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:30,858
I see how it is.

204
00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:32,729
I'll play your little game.

205
00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:34,949
[laughing]

206
00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:37,342
[buzzing]Somebody talk,
or I'll mess up his hairline!

207
00:08:37,386 --> 00:08:38,996
[all exclaiming]

208
00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:42,957
Dave, stay away
from Randall's fade

209
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,002
before you get
your ass whupped.

210
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:48,876
Look, we all connected
to the streets.

211
00:08:48,919 --> 00:08:50,660
Somebody in here
heard something.

212
00:08:50,704 --> 00:08:53,010
I heard something.See, Dave?

213
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:57,058
Black Google-- the World Wide
Web of nosey people.

214
00:08:57,101 --> 00:08:59,060
What you got, Trey?

215
00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:03,368
Okay, word is,
James is cheating on his girl.

216
00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:05,501
What's that got
to do with it?

217
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:06,937
I don't know.
I just don't like James.

218
00:09:10,854 --> 00:09:12,856
Come on, guys.

219
00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:16,164
This is a kid's Christmas
present we're talking about.

220
00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:18,819
This is not how we do things
around here.

221
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:21,038
I mean, Que,
every Christmas Eve,

222
00:09:21,082 --> 00:09:23,606
you give away free haircuts
to the homeless.

223
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:27,392
And Trey, how many bikes
have we put together for kids

224
00:09:27,436 --> 00:09:29,612
so they can have something
under their tree?

225
00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:31,396
Seventy-five.

226
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,616
76 if you count mine.

227
00:09:35,487 --> 00:09:37,098
Exactly.

228
00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:40,623
'Cause in this neighborhood,
we take care of each other.

229
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:43,408
Especially during
this time of year.

230
00:09:43,452 --> 00:09:47,064
So one of you wise-apples
better spill the beans,

231
00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:49,589
or I'm cracking skulls!

232
00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:53,941
If nobody talks,

233
00:09:53,984 --> 00:09:55,856
I'm leaving him here.

234
00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:58,685
Yo, yo, Calvin,
come here.

235
00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:00,208
What's up?

236
00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:01,862
All right, look.

237
00:10:01,905 --> 00:10:05,082
Now you ain't heard this from
me, but I have a colleague

238
00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:07,215
that's in the same line
of business as myself.

239
00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:09,652
Oh, so, a hustler
that sells stolen stuff?

240
00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:12,655
That's hurtful...
but not untrue.

241
00:10:14,352 --> 00:10:16,485
Anyway, if anybody's got
your scooter, it's him.

242
00:10:16,528 --> 00:10:18,052
This is where
you can meet him.

243
00:10:18,095 --> 00:10:19,140
All right, got it.

244
00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:20,228
All right, come on,
Dave, let's go.

245
00:10:20,271 --> 00:10:22,273
Right behind you.

246
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:24,667
Oh, and, uh...

247
00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:27,670
I didn't mean to be so tough
with you guys.

248
00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:29,933
Sorry if I scared anybody.

249
00:10:33,154 --> 00:10:34,938
♪ That time of year

250
00:10:34,982 --> 00:10:36,984
♪ Has come again...

251
00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:42,990
I thought you said you got
rid of these sweaters.

252
00:10:43,033 --> 00:10:44,121
I tried, man.

253
00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:46,558
But for some reason,
they wouldn't burn.

254
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:52,086
Okay, I made some hot cocoa,

255
00:10:52,129 --> 00:10:54,131
just the way
you used to like it.

256
00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:55,393
[chuckles]Aw.

257
00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:57,395
This is ridiculous.

258
00:10:57,439 --> 00:10:59,310
I know. There aren't even
any marshmallows in here.

259
00:11:00,964 --> 00:11:04,576
Okay, so let's see how
your ornaments are doing.

260
00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:06,753
Ooh, Malcolm.

261
00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:08,842
You've got the googly-eyes
on your reindeer

262
00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:10,060
centered perfectly.

263
00:11:10,104 --> 00:11:11,845
[chuckling] Yeah.

264
00:11:11,888 --> 00:11:14,978
Now that I'm not six,
I'm not eating the glue, either.

265
00:11:15,022 --> 00:11:18,068
Oh, Marty, what are you
spelling out with your macaroni?

266
00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:19,679
Oh, uh, it says,

267
00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:21,463
"Help."

268
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:26,076
As in "Santa's little helper"?

269
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,252
Sure.

270
00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:29,689
[laughing]

271
00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:30,994
Okay, Ma,
you know what?

272
00:11:31,038 --> 00:11:33,257
This has been fun,
but I think I am done.

273
00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:35,042
Yeah, Mom, me, too.

274
00:11:35,085 --> 00:11:36,913
W-W-Wha-- No.
W-We're just getting started.

275
00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:38,219
You haven't finished
your ornaments

276
00:11:38,262 --> 00:11:40,003
or made the popcorn string
for the tree.

277
00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:42,092
Yeah, I know, Mom, but that's
tuff we did when we were kids.

278
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:43,920
Yeah, we're too grown
for this.

279
00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:45,269
Well, says who?

280
00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:48,142
Says the man wearing
a Christmas crop top.

281
00:11:53,147 --> 00:11:54,496
Okay, fine.

282
00:11:54,539 --> 00:11:55,932
I mean, if you're too grown

283
00:11:55,976 --> 00:11:57,673
to spend time
with your mother,

284
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,807
I'll just go somewhere where
they have Christmas spirit.

285
00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:02,504
GIRL:
Merry Christmas,
Mrs. Butler.

286
00:12:02,547 --> 00:12:04,158
Ah, shut up.

287
00:12:07,335 --> 00:12:09,424
Oh, man, she is mad.

288
00:12:09,467 --> 00:12:11,121
Yeah, I know.

289
00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:12,644
We really screwed up.

290
00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:13,950
Yeah.

291
00:12:13,994 --> 00:12:15,778
Hey, you gonna
drink your cocoa?

292
00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:18,476
You touch my cocoa and you're
getting a macaroni up your nose.

293
00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:22,567
[siren wailing in distance]

294
00:12:22,611 --> 00:12:24,308
This is ridiculous.

295
00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:27,050
Jeremiah said the guy would
meet us here over an hour ago.

296
00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:29,923
Right. Because guys who hang out
in back alleys

297
00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:33,230
selling stolen goods
are known for being punctual.

298
00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:35,406
Help!

299
00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:37,017
Help me, please.

300
00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:39,802
Somebody just ran off
with my donation bucket.

301
00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:43,371
See that? Even Santa
gets jacked around here.

302
00:12:43,414 --> 00:12:46,374
C-Can one of you
please call the police?

303
00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:48,768
Oh, yeah.
I-I got you, Santa.

304
00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:50,247
[whistles]
Never mind.

305
00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:52,423
Looks like you're good.

306
00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:54,469
They're not cops!
Open up!

307
00:13:00,301 --> 00:13:01,781
You're the guys
we've been waiting for?

308
00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:02,956
That's right.

309
00:13:02,999 --> 00:13:05,045
Welcome to Santa's workshop.

310
00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:13,053
[gasps] Oh,
look, Grover,

311
00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:16,186
you made a little
gingerbread family.
Yeah.

312
00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:19,146
This is me, this is you,
and this is Dad.

313
00:13:19,189 --> 00:13:21,844
Aw. And who are you making
over there, Tina?

314
00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:23,498
Two ungrateful sons.

315
00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:28,372
Not so grown without your legs,
are you?

316
00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:32,812
Why don't we lay off the eggnog
for a little bit?

317
00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:35,510
You would think I
deserve one afternoon.

318
00:13:35,553 --> 00:13:39,079
Between the two of them,
36 hours of labor.

319
00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:41,908
And Marty was born
with that pumpkin head.

320
00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:44,171
Hey.
That was my dad.

321
00:13:45,389 --> 00:13:47,130
Don't worry, sweetie.

322
00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:49,132
We'll bake your father
a new head.

323
00:13:49,176 --> 00:13:52,353
I'm sorry, Gemma,
I'm trippin'.

324
00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:55,095
It's okay. We all
trip sometimes.

325
00:13:55,138 --> 00:13:57,227
You know, it's just,
when your kids are little,

326
00:13:57,271 --> 00:13:59,839
you don't realize some
traditions don't go on forever.

327
00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:03,103
I know, but at least
you have those memories.

328
00:14:03,146 --> 00:14:05,627
Do you really want to ruin them
for the three of you?

329
00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:06,846
And us.

330
00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:12,242
Mm. Show me which
cookie is you again.

331
00:14:12,286 --> 00:14:13,243
I'm still hungry.

332
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,380
So what are you
gentlemen interested in

333
00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:21,034
this holiday season?

334
00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:23,471
Electronics? Jewelry?

335
00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:25,299
Maybe a pet?

336
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:29,042
You got animals in there?

337
00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:30,652
Not at this location.

338
00:14:30,695 --> 00:14:33,263
But I can have a kangaroo here
in 20 minutes.

339
00:14:33,307 --> 00:14:36,353
I'm not interested
in kangaroos.

340
00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:37,572
At least not right now.

341
00:14:39,139 --> 00:14:40,749
I'm looking for
a stolen scooter.

342
00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:42,142
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
We don't use

343
00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,665
the word "stolen" around here.

344
00:14:43,708 --> 00:14:45,319
Santa's on probation.

345
00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:47,190
We're done here.

346
00:14:47,234 --> 00:14:48,931
H-H-Hold on, hold on.

347
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,541
What-What my friend meant

348
00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:52,674
is that we're looking
for a scooter

349
00:14:52,717 --> 00:14:57,461
that may have recently
fallen off Santa's sleigh.

350
00:14:57,505 --> 00:14:59,899
Okay.

351
00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:01,117
You're in luck.

352
00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:02,858
I just got one in
this afternoon.

353
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,338
Hold on.

354
00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:06,601
I think it's in
"sporting goods."

355
00:15:08,342 --> 00:15:11,345
See, Dave? I told you
we'd get your scooter back.

356
00:15:11,388 --> 00:15:12,824
[scoffs] Great.

357
00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:16,002
I have to buy back a scooter
that I already paid for.

358
00:15:16,045 --> 00:15:17,525
Look, I hear you.

359
00:15:17,568 --> 00:15:19,831
But won't it all be worth it
on Christmas morning

360
00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:21,746
when you see the look
on Grover's face?

361
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:24,271
SANTA:
Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!

362
00:15:25,663 --> 00:15:27,230
What is that?

363
00:15:27,274 --> 00:15:28,318
It's your scooter.

364
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:30,712
Every kid wants one of these.

365
00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:35,064
Are you kid-- Santa,
that is not my scooter.

366
00:15:35,108 --> 00:15:37,545
All right, Dave,
it's not the exact one,

367
00:15:37,588 --> 00:15:41,070
but Grover will never grow out
of this one.

368
00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:44,334
You know, I knew this was
a waste of time.

369
00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:46,336
All right, look.

370
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:47,859
We'll just go back
to the barbershop...

371
00:15:47,903 --> 00:15:49,557
No, Calvin,
it's Christmas Eve,

372
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,211
and I don't have
a gift for my son.

373
00:15:51,254 --> 00:15:53,387
No more barbershops,

374
00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:54,866
no more sketchy alleys,

375
00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:58,174
no more Santas and
their stolen kangaroos.

376
00:15:58,218 --> 00:16:00,829
Hey, I came by
those kangaroos honestly.

377
00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:04,311
Hey, uh...

378
00:16:04,354 --> 00:16:06,922
Just window shopping here,
but much would one

379
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,707
of them mid-size marsupials
go for?

380
00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:19,152
Oh, hey, boys.

381
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:21,415
You know, I just
wanted to, um...

382
00:16:22,938 --> 00:16:24,070
What are you doing?

383
00:16:24,113 --> 00:16:25,941
Finishing up
our ornaments.

384
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,116
Yeah. See?

385
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:30,163
"We're so" what?

386
00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:32,426
Oh, uh, it's supposed to say
"We're sorry"

387
00:16:32,469 --> 00:16:35,864
but I lost circulation
in my arms and I had to stop.

388
00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:39,302
You know what?

389
00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:41,217
I'm the one who
should be sorry.

390
00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:43,741
You're right,
you're both adults,

391
00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:46,309
and I shouldn't force you
to do what you don't want to.

392
00:16:46,353 --> 00:16:49,399
Mom, it's not that we don't like
celebrating Christmas with you.

393
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:51,836
Yeah, but maybe we can figure
out some new traditions.

394
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:55,275
Ones that are more age
and, uh, size appropriate.

395
00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:58,408
Like what?

396
00:16:58,452 --> 00:17:00,280
I don't know.
We could go down to Ernie's bar,

397
00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:02,064
do a little Christmas karaoke.

398
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:03,805
Oh, that sounds good to me.

399
00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:06,373
Well, you know, I wouldn't
mind a holiday cocktail.

400
00:17:06,416 --> 00:17:09,332
Gemma's eggnog
is all egg and no nog.

401
00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:13,815
Okay, so what do you say?

402
00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:15,338
Do we have a new tradition?

403
00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:17,384
I would love that.

404
00:17:17,427 --> 00:17:19,038
Well, all right.
Let's do it.

405
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:20,430
Come on.
Let's go.

406
00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:22,084
Yeah.
Oh, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.

407
00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:23,651
Let me get these scissors.

408
00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:25,653
I got to cut off
those tight-ass sweaters.

409
00:17:31,006 --> 00:17:33,356
I'm sorry, Dave.

410
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,445
I really thought this would
have ended differently.

411
00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:37,317
I mean, you with
your scooter back,

412
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:39,797
and me with a pet I could box.

413
00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:44,498
Yeah, I'm just disappointed.

414
00:17:44,541 --> 00:17:45,890
Yeah, me, too.

415
00:17:45,934 --> 00:17:47,327
I really wanted to help make

416
00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:50,417
Grover's first Christmas here
special.

417
00:17:50,460 --> 00:17:53,333
Oh, hey, it's the
guys from the shop.

418
00:17:54,769 --> 00:17:56,988
Hey, fellas.
What y'all doing here?

419
00:17:57,032 --> 00:17:59,426
We came to bring you this.

420
00:17:59,469 --> 00:18:01,341
Oh, it's my scooter.

421
00:18:01,384 --> 00:18:03,952
Yeah, we tracked it down
after you left the shop.

422
00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:06,085
Yeah, Calvin, we heard what
you said about the holidays.

423
00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:07,434
Yeah, it made me think back

424
00:18:07,477 --> 00:18:09,653
to that year when
the neighborhood chipped in

425
00:18:09,697 --> 00:18:11,481
so I could spend Christmas
with my family.Oh, yeah.

426
00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:12,830
That bail wasn't cheap.

427
00:18:13,831 --> 00:18:15,137
Like you said, Calvin,

428
00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:16,573
we got to look out
for each other,

429
00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:18,053
especially this time of year.

430
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,360
Well, all right.

431
00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:23,102
I don't want to overstate it,

432
00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:25,104
but looks like
I saved Christmas.

433
00:18:27,062 --> 00:18:29,760
Oh, man, I-I don't know how
I can thank you guys.

434
00:18:29,804 --> 00:18:31,762
This is the best gift
a guy could get.

435
00:18:31,806 --> 00:18:33,895
Merry Christmas, Dave.

436
00:18:33,938 --> 00:18:36,071
Eh, so where'd you guys
get this?

437
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,638
[all exclaiming]

438
00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:40,119
Oh, now, Dave,
that is one question

439
00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:41,729
Black Google won't answer.

440
00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:45,689
Thank you.
Yeah.

441
00:18:50,259 --> 00:18:52,261
♪

442
00:18:54,437 --> 00:18:56,309
Hey, Dave, come on outside!

443
00:18:58,180 --> 00:18:59,834
Whoa, snow.

444
00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:02,141
[gasps]
Like back
in Michigan.

445
00:19:03,272 --> 00:19:05,274
Calvin, what is all this?

446
00:19:05,318 --> 00:19:06,623
I told you, I wanted to make

447
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:08,451
your first Christmas here
special.

448
00:19:08,495 --> 00:19:11,150
[gasps]
Aw, Merry Christmas, Tina.

449
00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:12,716
[both chuckling]

450
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,154
Hey, what'd you guys
end up doing last night?

451
00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:17,243
Well, we started a new
Butler Christmas tradition.

452
00:19:17,286 --> 00:19:18,983
Yeah. Karaoke, drinking,

453
00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:21,116
and finding out Mom
is great at darts.

454
00:19:22,465 --> 00:19:24,511
Yeah, she's not just great,
she's a hustler.

455
00:19:24,554 --> 00:19:26,295
She took me
for almost 50 bucks.

456
00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:28,254
[laughing] Ooh.Well, you're the one

457
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:30,560
who said you were a grown-up.
Take it like a man.

458
00:19:33,650 --> 00:19:35,043
Calvin, this is amazing.

459
00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:36,740
W-Where'd you get
the snow machine?

460
00:19:36,784 --> 00:19:39,047
Well, after you got
your scooter back,

461
00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:41,528
I paid another visit
to Santa's workshop.

462
00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:43,791
The kangaroos
were all sold out,

463
00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:45,619
so I got this snow machine.

464
00:19:45,662 --> 00:19:47,664
[laughing]

465
00:19:49,405 --> 00:19:50,841
Thanks, buddy.

466
00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:51,842
Merry Christmas.

467
00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:53,975
Merry Christmas, bud.

468
00:19:54,018 --> 00:19:57,457
So what do you say?
Snowball fight?

469
00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:58,545
Ah, no.

470
00:19:58,588 --> 00:19:59,894
That's for the kids, man.

471
00:19:59,937 --> 00:20:01,417
All right.
[laughing]

472
00:20:05,508 --> 00:20:07,423
Hey.

473
00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:09,817
What can I say?
I'm a kid at heart.

474
00:20:13,473 --> 00:20:16,476
♪ This Christmas, fireside's

475
00:20:16,519 --> 00:20:18,826
♪ Blazing bright

476
00:20:18,869 --> 00:20:21,568
♪ We're caroling

477
00:20:21,611 --> 00:20:24,135
♪ Through the night

478
00:20:24,179 --> 00:20:28,923
♪ And this Christmas will be

479
00:20:28,966 --> 00:20:31,926
♪ A very special Christmas

480
00:20:31,969 --> 00:20:33,493
♪ For me...

481
00:20:37,061 --> 00:20:39,020
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

482
00:20:39,063 --> 00:20:42,066
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org