1
00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:14,710
Oh, hey, Calvin.
What's up?

2
00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:17,060
Hey, can I borrow some milk
for my cereal?

3
00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:19,193
Malcolm used up all of ours.

4
00:00:19,236 --> 00:00:20,759
But your bowl's empty.

5
00:00:20,803 --> 00:00:22,935
Yeah, he finished
all the cereal, too.

6
00:00:23,936 --> 00:00:26,330
Do you have anything
that's magically delicious?

7
00:00:27,853 --> 00:00:30,465
Yeah, sure. Let me get you
some of Grover's good stuff.

8
00:00:30,508 --> 00:00:32,119
You want
the sugar-free quinoa flakes

9
00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:34,382
or the date-sweetened
fiber puffs?

10
00:00:35,426 --> 00:00:36,949
I'll take a banana.

11
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:40,083
Oh, yeah, L.A. is way different

12
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:41,911
than Hickory Corners--
it's always sunny,

13
00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:44,000
there's tons of culture,

14
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:47,743
and nobody grocery shops
shirtless.

15
00:00:47,786 --> 00:00:49,788
Honey, who is that?My sister.

16
00:00:49,832 --> 00:00:51,486
Brittany?

17
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:53,270
Do not give her money,

18
00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:55,142
and do not invite her here.

19
00:00:55,185 --> 00:00:57,318
Of course! We'd love
for you to visit.

20
00:00:57,361 --> 00:00:59,276
No! N...

21
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:00,756
Hey, uh, Gemma,

22
00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:02,932
did you read this article
on California earthquakes?

23
00:01:02,975 --> 00:01:05,978
They say the big one
is coming any day now.

24
00:01:07,328 --> 00:01:09,069
: I wouldn't
worry about that.

25
00:01:10,157 --> 00:01:12,246
I've lived in California
my whole life.

26
00:01:12,289 --> 00:01:14,596
Never been hurt
in an earthquake.

27
00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:16,119
What are you doing?

28
00:01:16,163 --> 00:01:17,860
That's for your sucky cereal.

29
00:01:19,035 --> 00:01:21,820
All right, well,
love you, too. Bye.

30
00:01:21,864 --> 00:01:23,953
Wow, Dave, there's
actually someone out there

31
00:01:23,996 --> 00:01:25,085
you don't like?

32
00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:27,043
What's her secret?

33
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,089
Calvin, you don't understand.

34
00:01:30,568 --> 00:01:32,483
Gemma's sister is
a total disaster.

35
00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:34,920
She flakes on everything,
nothing's ever her fault,

36
00:01:34,964 --> 00:01:37,880
and the only time
we ever hear from her is
when she needs something.

37
00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:40,056
That's not true.Oh, yeah?
What about the time

38
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,188
she asked you for a kidney?

39
00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:43,494
That's not fair.
It wasn't even for her.

40
00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:47,933
O-Okay, okay, so she's
still figuring her life out.

41
00:01:47,977 --> 00:01:50,501
But she's got a good heart.Yeah, which she probably

42
00:01:50,545 --> 00:01:52,024
suckered someone
into giving her.

43
00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:56,159
You know, she sounds like
Tina's cousin Lamar,

44
00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:58,161
who she found out
wasn't her cousin,

45
00:01:58,205 --> 00:01:59,771
or named Lamar.

46
00:02:01,469 --> 00:02:03,297
Well, then you know
what I'm talking about

47
00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:05,342
and why the last person
I want here

48
00:02:05,386 --> 00:02:07,039
is... Oh, Brittany.

49
00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:08,215
Surprise!

50
00:02:08,258 --> 00:02:09,390
Brittany!

51
00:02:09,433 --> 00:02:10,478
Oh, my God!

52
00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:13,002
Forget the banana.

53
00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:16,092
Thisis magically delicious.

54
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,050
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

55
00:02:18,094 --> 00:02:19,095
♪ Welcome to the hood.

56
00:02:23,926 --> 00:02:25,971
I can't believe
you're really here.

57
00:02:26,015 --> 00:02:27,408
Thought it'd be
a fun surprise.

58
00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:30,193
Like when you
showed up on our honeymoon.

59
00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:32,195
That was the best
two weeks ever.

60
00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:34,241
Thanks again for
bailing me out.

61
00:02:35,590 --> 00:02:38,419
Mexican jails are no bueno.

62
00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:41,204
Uh, so, Brittany,
what brings you here?

63
00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:44,207
I know it wasn't Greyhound,
because they banned you.

64
00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:46,209
I've always wanted to
come to California,

65
00:02:46,253 --> 00:02:48,472
and I finally finished
dental hygiene school.

66
00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:51,649
You graduated?
Congratulations!

67
00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:53,042
Oh, no, I didn't
say I graduated.

68
00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:54,174
I just stopped going.

69
00:02:56,045 --> 00:02:59,004
Uh, uh, what about the money
we gave you for tuition?

70
00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:00,354
Oh, don't worry,
I used it,

71
00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:01,877
and I enrolled in
a cosmetology course.

72
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,661
Oh, that's great.
How's it going?

73
00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:04,793
Oh, I quit that, too.

74
00:03:04,836 --> 00:03:06,925
They wanted me to go
four days a week,

75
00:03:06,969 --> 00:03:09,101
and it's, like, I want
to be a cosmetologist,

76
00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:10,712
not a doctor.

77
00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:14,106
Okay, well, it was great
of you to stop by on your way

78
00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:15,369
to somewhere else.

79
00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:18,502
Actually, I was kind of
hoping I could hang here

80
00:03:18,546 --> 00:03:19,938
until I figured out
my next move?

81
00:03:19,982 --> 00:03:21,375
Of course.
You're my little sister.

82
00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:23,507
You can stay
as long as you want.

83
00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:26,206
Cool. So, where am I crashing?

84
00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:28,512
You can sleep in my room.
I have bunk beds.

85
00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:30,558
Ha-ha! It'll be like
we're cellmates.

86
00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:35,215
Hey, Dave.

87
00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:38,174
How's the new roommate
working out?

88
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:41,221
Are you as miserable as I hope?

89
00:03:41,264 --> 00:03:43,223
Even worse.

90
00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:46,138
She has been here one day,
and she already broke the oven,

91
00:03:46,182 --> 00:03:48,576
erased our DVR,
and this morning...

92
00:03:48,619 --> 00:03:52,232
she used my
karate gi as a bathrobe.

93
00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:55,713
Dave, you got yourself
a freeloader on your hands.

94
00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:58,412
And it's your own fault
for putting up with it.

95
00:03:58,455 --> 00:04:00,196
What am I supposed to do?
She's Gemma's sister.

96
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,850
Family doesn't get a pass.

97
00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:04,200
I don't care
if she was my mama.

98
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,942
Calvin Butler would nip
that nonsense in the bud.

99
00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:08,291
Kee-ya!

100
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:09,379
Ha!

101
00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:11,425
Hey, guys.

102
00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:12,904
Oh, Pop, just a heads-up.

103
00:04:12,948 --> 00:04:14,384
I went over
the family data limit,

104
00:04:14,428 --> 00:04:16,430
so the phone bill's gonna be
a little bit high.

105
00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:19,824
: Lot of great fights
on YouTube this month.

106
00:04:19,868 --> 00:04:22,218
Well, good thing you...

107
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,438
nipped thatnonsense
in the bud.

108
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,266
Oh, and,

109
00:04:26,309 --> 00:04:29,094
uh, for the
record, it's...

110
00:04:29,138 --> 00:04:30,357
Kee-ya!

111
00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:38,843
Hey, Ma, is it cool if I
borrow your car tonight?

112
00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:41,281
Oh, sure, baby.
But it's just about out of gas.

113
00:04:41,324 --> 00:04:42,760
Oh, don't worry,
I got you.

114
00:04:42,804 --> 00:04:44,371
Where's your gas card?

115
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:47,287
Hergas card?

116
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:51,160
You do know
they take yourcash?

117
00:04:51,203 --> 00:04:54,424
Yeah, Pop, but then Mom
wouldn't get herpoints.

118
00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:56,774
Yeah, Calvin-- why are you
trying to take my points?

119
00:04:56,818 --> 00:04:59,168
What are they even for?

120
00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:01,126
I don't know,
but they're mine
and I want 'em.

121
00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:02,954
Yeah.

122
00:05:02,998 --> 00:05:04,652
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.

123
00:05:04,695 --> 00:05:06,001
Uh, what are you doing?

124
00:05:06,044 --> 00:05:07,959
I'm getting a piece
of garlic bread.

125
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:10,179
Yeah, but the middle piece?

126
00:05:10,222 --> 00:05:12,399
That's the one with the best
crust-to-butter ratio.

127
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,184
Fine. What's the big deal, man?

128
00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:16,141
It's just bread.

129
00:05:16,185 --> 00:05:17,795
Oh, "it's just bread."

130
00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:20,189
Bread that you didn't buy
or that you didn't cook.

131
00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:23,148
Well, Calvin,
you didn't cook it, either.

132
00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:25,150
I'm trying
to make a point, Tina.

133
00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:27,370
Oh. So now you want your
points?

134
00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:29,198
Uh, look...

135
00:05:29,241 --> 00:05:31,243
he's had a job for a while now,

136
00:05:31,287 --> 00:05:33,811
and it's just time for him
to stop being a freeloader.

137
00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:35,987
A freeloader?

138
00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:38,555
Yeah. You know, I'm tired
of him not chipping in,

139
00:05:38,599 --> 00:05:41,689
so I'm nipping it in the bud
right now. Kee-ya!

140
00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,300
Calvin,

141
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,388
Malcolm is not a freeloader.

142
00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:47,216
He's just trying
to get on his feet.

143
00:05:47,259 --> 00:05:49,131
Well, what he needs to do
is go in his wallet

144
00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:50,567
and give me some bread
for this bread.

145
00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:52,613
You know what? Fine.

146
00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:54,266
If that's the way you want it.

147
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:55,964
Look. Here you go.

148
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,402
Five dollars?

149
00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:01,273
That's all I have on me.

150
00:06:01,317 --> 00:06:03,101
Oh. Well, in that case...

151
00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:05,843
Enjoy your salad.

152
00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:14,243
Oh. Hey.
I didn't think you were home.

153
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:15,810
Your car isn't out front.

154
00:06:15,853 --> 00:06:18,247
Oh, yeah. Brittany took it
to go get coffee.

155
00:06:18,290 --> 00:06:19,944
You let her borrow your car?

156
00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:21,772
That is so nice.

157
00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:24,296
Oh, I didn't say "borrow."
I said "took."

158
00:06:25,515 --> 00:06:28,475
Along with $20
and my favorite sunglasses.

159
00:06:28,518 --> 00:06:30,694
Dave, she's my
little sister.

160
00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:31,956
What do you want me to do?

161
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,351
I want you
to stop enabling her.

162
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,005
The reason she quits
everything that she does

163
00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:39,747
is she knows that you'll be
right there to bail her out.

164
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:42,445
Sometimes literally.

165
00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:44,360
Dave, I'm not
enabling here.

166
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,014
I'm being supportive.

167
00:06:46,057 --> 00:06:48,364
Things just don't come
as easily to her.

168
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,931
Okay. Well,
just so you know,

169
00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:52,194
Grover said her Ouija
board spelled out

170
00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:54,283
"lend Brittany money"
last night.

171
00:06:57,329 --> 00:06:59,201
Look, it's not like
she's staying forever.

172
00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:01,159
We both know
in a few days

173
00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:02,552
she'll get bored and take off

174
00:07:02,596 --> 00:07:04,424
right after she asks
for a clean urine sample.

175
00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:08,253
Hey, guys. Guess what?

176
00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:09,516
You lost my sunglasses?

177
00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:10,647
Yep, that, too.

178
00:07:11,779 --> 00:07:13,476
What I meant was,
I finally figured out

179
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,304
what I'm gonna do with my life.

180
00:07:16,348 --> 00:07:17,480
I'm gonna be an actor.

181
00:07:21,919 --> 00:07:23,834
What?

182
00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:25,357
I was in the
coffee shop

183
00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:26,924
and I was arguing
with the barista

184
00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:29,057
of whether or not
I brought the tip jar with me,

185
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:31,146
when...

186
00:07:31,189 --> 00:07:32,930
this talent agent comes up,
and he says

187
00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:35,498
he's going to make me...
a star.

188
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:36,717
Oh.

189
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:38,936
Oh, sweetie,
I know that sounds exciting,

190
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:41,548
but I'm not sure that
that's the way it works.

191
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:43,854
Oh, uh, she's right.
It's a scam.

192
00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:46,466
Con artists preying
on naive dreamers.

193
00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:48,946
I was devastated.

194
00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:50,905
No, this guy's totally legit.

195
00:07:50,948 --> 00:07:53,516
He already got me an audition
for a commercial tomorrow.

196
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:54,735
Really?

197
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:55,997
Yeah.

198
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,477
So looks like I'm here to stay.

199
00:07:58,565 --> 00:07:59,870
Huh.

200
00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:01,393
You hear that?

201
00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:02,830
She's here to stay.

202
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:05,528
Whew!

203
00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:08,313
And we are here
to be supportive.

204
00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:12,579
BRITTANY:
This is so exciting!

205
00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:15,016
I'm gonna go practice my lines
up in my room.

206
00:08:15,059 --> 00:08:16,974
Now, that'sa
juicy burger.

207
00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:19,542
Now, that's a juicy burger!

208
00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:21,370
That's a juicy...

209
00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:23,590
This is a disaster.

210
00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:25,417
Dave, it's not as bad
as it seems.

211
00:08:25,461 --> 00:08:28,464
Yes, it is.
Those were my sunglasses!

212
00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:30,901
It should've been me!

213
00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:35,906
Oh, that looks tasty.

214
00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:37,386
Salami and cheese?

215
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,562
Oh, yeah,
and all the fixings.

216
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,651
Great. That'll be seven bucks.

217
00:08:42,913 --> 00:08:45,568
You can make it a combo
for a dollar more.

218
00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:49,833
You know, actually, Pop,
what you said last night

219
00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:51,792
made a whole lot of sense.

220
00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:53,576
I shouldn't be eating your food.

221
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,578
So I went out
and I bought my own.

222
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:58,015
Okay. Steppin' up, like I asked.

223
00:08:58,059 --> 00:09:01,105
You know what?
Fix me one of those, and, um,

224
00:09:01,149 --> 00:09:02,367
make it a combo.

225
00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:05,545
You know, I would, Pop,

226
00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:08,983
but this is all stuff
I bought myself. You see?

227
00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:11,594
I put my name on it.

228
00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:13,030
Okay.

229
00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:15,380
You're putting your
name on meat now?

230
00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:17,469
Who are you, Oscar Mayer?

231
00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:20,995
Yeah, well, this way,
you eat yourfood

232
00:09:21,038 --> 00:09:23,127
and I eat mine.
Mm-hmm!

233
00:09:23,171 --> 00:09:25,521
You know what?
That is a good idea.

234
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,610
Mm.Maybe I should start putting

235
00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:30,482
my name on stuff
I paid for.

236
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:31,614
Okay.

237
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:33,573
Look at that-- looks like

238
00:09:33,616 --> 00:09:34,748
your sandwich

239
00:09:34,791 --> 00:09:36,097
is on my plate.

240
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,579
Well, lucky for me,

241
00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:41,363
this meal is handheld.

242
00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:44,061
That islucky for you.

243
00:09:44,105 --> 00:09:47,021
But what is not lucky for you
is that your food...

244
00:09:47,064 --> 00:09:49,066
is in my fridge.

245
00:09:51,547 --> 00:09:53,767
Not a problem.
I'll get a mini fridge

246
00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:55,246
for my room.

247
00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:57,379
Yes. A problem.

248
00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:59,033
Because...

249
00:09:59,076 --> 00:10:03,428
your room is in my house.

250
00:10:03,472 --> 00:10:06,475
Well, in that case,
maybe I need a place of my own.

251
00:10:06,518 --> 00:10:08,651
Maybe you do.

252
00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:10,435
Well, maybe I should go look
for one right now.

253
00:10:10,479 --> 00:10:12,786
Maybe you should.

254
00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:14,701
You know what? Fine.

255
00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:21,664
Hello?

256
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:24,275
CALVIN:
I just wanted to remind you...

257
00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:27,365
...that's my phone.

258
00:10:37,245 --> 00:10:39,203
Well, I hope you're happy.

259
00:10:39,247 --> 00:10:41,597
I just got off the
phone with Malcolm.

260
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,555
He already found a place.

261
00:10:43,599 --> 00:10:46,471
So he's still using my phone?

262
00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:48,952
Calvin, your son is moving
into a one bedroom

263
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:50,693
with four strangers

264
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:53,565
all because the both of you
are too stubborn to back down.

265
00:10:53,609 --> 00:10:55,350
Me? Stubborn?

266
00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:57,657
I'll sit here all day
and argue that.

267
00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:00,790
Come on, Tina.

268
00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:02,923
Moving out is gonna
be good for him.

269
00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:04,881
How?
Well, for starters,

270
00:11:04,925 --> 00:11:06,187
with him out of the house,

271
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:08,406
I don't have
to wear pants anymore.

272
00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:12,236
That's not good for him,
that's good for you.

273
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:16,023
Well, actually,
it's good for you.

274
00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:24,727
You need to apologize
to your son and tell him

275
00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:26,816
he can stay, or
things are gonna

276
00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:28,252
get ugly around here.

277
00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:30,385
How ugly?

278
00:11:30,428 --> 00:11:32,648
Remember the Valentine's Day
you bought me a toaster?

279
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,041
Uglier than that.

280
00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:37,871
Good morning.

281
00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:41,831
Seriously? For the last time,
stop wearing my gi.

282
00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:45,356
It's a slap in the face
to Sensei Chad.

283
00:11:46,575 --> 00:11:48,359
So, how are you feeling?

284
00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:49,839
Are you ready
for your big audition?

285
00:11:49,883 --> 00:11:51,928
Oh, yeah, Grover and I
rehearsed all night.

286
00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:53,190
Check it out.

287
00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:57,151
Now, that's a tasty burger.

288
00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:59,414
I thought it was
a "juicy" burger?

289
00:11:59,457 --> 00:12:00,676
Yeah, but I decided "juicy"

290
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,853
isn't a word
my character would use.

291
00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:07,770
And yet, you have it tattooed
on your lower back.

292
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,598
So, what time
do you have to be there?

293
00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:10,512
Not until 9:00.

294
00:12:10,555 --> 00:12:12,862
Brittany! It's 8:45.

295
00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:14,951
Oh, my God, you're right.
Okay, I'm just gonna eat

296
00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:16,648
something really quick
and then we'll go.

297
00:12:16,692 --> 00:12:18,433
Where's your pancake mix?What? No! No, no, no.

298
00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:20,652
No, no, no, no.
No pancakes.

299
00:12:20,696 --> 00:12:23,655
Go put on some clothes. If we
hurry, we can still make it.

300
00:12:23,699 --> 00:12:26,049
Fine. I'll meet you in the car.

301
00:12:26,093 --> 00:12:28,356
We'll just hit up a
drive-through on the way there.

302
00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:34,884
Hey.

303
00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:36,320
Hey.

304
00:12:36,364 --> 00:12:37,800
I got some boxes,

305
00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:39,671
so I'll be out of your way
by tonight.

306
00:12:39,715 --> 00:12:43,632
Look, about that, um,

307
00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:45,634
things got a little
out of hand yesterday,

308
00:12:45,677 --> 00:12:48,898
so you don't have to move out
if you don't want to.

309
00:12:48,942 --> 00:12:51,074
Oh, thank you, Pop. You know,
I've been feeling bad

310
00:12:51,118 --> 00:12:53,555
about the way things
went down, too.

311
00:12:53,598 --> 00:12:57,646
Great. Well, go tell your mom
I said all that sensitive crap.

312
00:12:57,689 --> 00:12:59,822
And, uh,

313
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:01,650
you know, tell her we hugged.

314
00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:03,739
She'll eat that stuff up
right there.

315
00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:07,569
Wait, so you're only
saying you want me to stay

316
00:13:07,612 --> 00:13:09,005
because Mom made you?

317
00:13:09,049 --> 00:13:11,834
Yeah.

318
00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:14,968
You expect me to wear pants
the rest of my life?

319
00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:17,753
You know what?
Do whatever you want,

320
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,799
because I'm not gonna
be here to see it.

321
00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:21,975
Really? You gonna act like that

322
00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:25,195
after I said everything
your mama made me say?

323
00:13:26,718 --> 00:13:28,372
I-I expected more from you.

324
00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:31,027
And this is exactly
what I expected from you.

325
00:13:31,071 --> 00:13:32,986
What is that supposed to mean?

326
00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:34,770
I don't know, ask Mom.

327
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,817
Ha! Well, the joke's on you,

328
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,993
because she's not talking to me.

329
00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:45,650
Oh, you're back.

330
00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:47,391
How'd the audition go?

331
00:13:47,435 --> 00:13:49,002
Not great.

332
00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:52,875
Brittany "accidentally" spilled
coffee on another actress

333
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:56,226
and then asked the casting
director when the baby was due.

334
00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:59,142
Huh. She wasn't pregnant?

335
00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:01,188
No, hewasn't.

336
00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:02,842
Oh.

337
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:04,756
Now that's a juicy burger.

338
00:14:07,281 --> 00:14:09,892
Dave, when she comes down,
please be nice to her.

339
00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:11,851
She's in a very fragile state
right now.

340
00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:13,853
Oh, I don't care
what state she's in,

341
00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:15,898
as long as it's not California.

342
00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:16,899
Dave.

343
00:14:16,943 --> 00:14:19,597
But I will be nice.

344
00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:21,730
Well, my agent just called.

345
00:14:21,773 --> 00:14:23,297
I'm sorry, sweetie.

346
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:25,038
I know how much you wanted this. Yeah.

347
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:26,561
Don't be too hard on yourself.

348
00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:28,084
What are you guys talking about?

349
00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:29,390
I got the part.

350
00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:32,306
What?!
Of course.

351
00:14:32,349 --> 00:14:35,178
Yeah, they said they loved my
"spunky, unpredictable energy,"

352
00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:36,745
which is funny,
'cause that's exactly

353
00:14:36,788 --> 00:14:39,704
what my parole officer hated.

354
00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:42,925
Wow. Uh, you did it.
Congratulations.

355
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:46,015
Thanks. Too bad I had
to turn it down.

356
00:14:46,059 --> 00:14:47,930
What?Of course.

357
00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:52,195
Why would you turn it down?

358
00:14:52,239 --> 00:14:53,980
Well, think about it.

359
00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:59,072
If I booked my first audition,
I am clearly a great actor.

360
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:02,075
And great actors
don't do commercials.

361
00:15:04,033 --> 00:15:06,557
But this is a huge opportunity.

362
00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:08,211
You're just gonna throw it away?

363
00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:10,735
Yeah. Plus, they said
it was gonna air in Mexico,

364
00:15:10,779 --> 00:15:12,520
and I've got
muchowarrants down there.

365
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,871
You know what?

366
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,003
Dave is right.

367
00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:19,483
I do enable you.

368
00:15:19,527 --> 00:15:22,008
I have given you
so many chances

369
00:15:22,051 --> 00:15:24,532
and made so many excuses
for you,

370
00:15:24,575 --> 00:15:26,534
and all you do is screw it up.

371
00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:28,057
But I am done.

372
00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:31,278
You need to get your stuff
and go home, now.

373
00:15:34,890 --> 00:15:37,458
I know. You're right.

374
00:15:37,501 --> 00:15:38,981
I'm a disaster.

375
00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:41,331
And the worst part is,

376
00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:42,942
I don't even know why.

377
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:46,032
I-I quit anything I start,

378
00:15:46,075 --> 00:15:48,904
anything good in my life
I find a way to ruin.

379
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,297
Even our relationship.

380
00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:55,476
You're the best big sister
anybody could have,

381
00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:57,957
and all I do is I-I just
take advantage of you.

382
00:15:59,262 --> 00:16:04,659
I don't know what else to say,
but I'm... I'm sorry.

383
00:16:04,702 --> 00:16:06,922
I'm gonna go pack my things.

384
00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:10,012
Uh, Brittany, wait.

385
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:11,013
I'm sorry I said that.

386
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:12,928
Please, please, please don't go.

387
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,408
Are you sure?

388
00:16:14,451 --> 00:16:17,019
Of course.
You're my little sister.

389
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:19,108
And scene.

390
00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:25,027
Wait, what?

391
00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:29,075
I told you. I am a great actor.

392
00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:31,773
You just made
all that up?

393
00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:34,689
Not all. I stole a few lines
from Gossip Girl.

394
00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:37,039
Oh, my God.Oh, my God.

395
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:39,041
All right.

396
00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:42,044
That's it. You need
to leave... now.What?

397
00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:43,132
You heard me.Okay, but...

398
00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:44,960
No, I'm not giving you my pee.

399
00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:49,617
Fine. Haters gonna hate.

400
00:16:56,145 --> 00:16:57,451
You did it.

401
00:16:57,494 --> 00:16:59,061
You finally
stood up to her.

402
00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:00,628
I know, but
I was so harsh.

403
00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:02,064
Do you think
she'll get over it?

404
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:04,110
Of course she's gonna
get over it.

405
00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:06,068
I'll tell you
what I'll never get over.

406
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:08,723
She is a way better actor
than I'll ever be.

407
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,076
Well, that's everything.

408
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,339
You know, I can't believe
you and your father

409
00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:18,080
are being so stubborn
about this.

410
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,342
He's the stubborn one.

411
00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:20,909
I just refuse to give in.

412
00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:25,827
Calvin, Malcolm's leaving!

413
00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:29,831
Don't you have anything
to say to him?

414
00:17:29,874 --> 00:17:31,833
Fine.

415
00:17:35,924 --> 00:17:37,795
Seriously?

416
00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:40,102
You two have nothing
to say to each other?

417
00:17:40,146 --> 00:17:43,018
Nope.Nope.

418
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,803
See, that's what your problem
is-- you're too much alike.

419
00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:47,370
No, we're not.No, we're not.

420
00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:48,937
You know what?

421
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:51,374
Maybe you're right.
Maybe this is a good idea.

422
00:17:51,418 --> 00:17:53,028
With Malcolm gone,

423
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,378
you can finally watch
football all by yourself

424
00:17:55,422 --> 00:17:56,945
without anyone to debate

425
00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:59,948
about who's the best player,
or argue over calls.

426
00:17:59,991 --> 00:18:01,993
Sounds good to me.

427
00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:05,040
And, Malcolm, you won't be stuck
playing cards with your dad.

428
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,520
You know,
talking about politics

429
00:18:06,563 --> 00:18:08,043
and what's going on
in the world.

430
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,045
That's right. I can do
that with my roommates.

431
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,308
Yeah, and since two of you
sleep in the living room,

432
00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:14,963
y'all can chitchat
all night long.

433
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,706
Yeah, that's...
that's gonna be fun.

434
00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:22,188
And, Calvin, you don't
have to remind Malcolm

435
00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:23,841
about taking the
trash out anymore,

436
00:18:23,885 --> 00:18:26,105
because you'll be doing it!That's right.

437
00:18:26,888 --> 00:18:28,542
Uh-huh.

438
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,850
Well, now that we all agree
this is for the best--

439
00:18:32,894 --> 00:18:34,765
Calvin, tomorrow's
trash day.

440
00:18:34,809 --> 00:18:36,767
Malcolm, don't let
the doorknob hit ya

441
00:18:36,811 --> 00:18:38,073
where the good Lord
split ya.

442
00:18:42,773 --> 00:18:44,775
So, uh...

443
00:18:44,819 --> 00:18:46,995
really? Two of y'all sleep
in the living room?

444
00:18:47,038 --> 00:18:48,866
It's not as bad
as it sounds.

445
00:18:48,910 --> 00:18:51,260
We got a line of
tape down the middle.

446
00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:54,655
Well, fine.

447
00:18:54,698 --> 00:18:56,526
I hope you enjoy
watching football with him.

448
00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:59,050
Well, actually,
we don't have cable,

449
00:18:59,094 --> 00:19:01,488
which would be useless
anyway, because...

450
00:19:01,531 --> 00:19:03,142
we don't have a TV.

451
00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:04,969
What?!

452
00:19:05,013 --> 00:19:06,667
Man, that's crazy.

453
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:08,886
Every man deserves
to watch football.

454
00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:10,714
I think
that's in the Constitution.

455
00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:14,327
I'll tell you what.

456
00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:18,069
Why don't you come over Sunday
and watch one of the games?

457
00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:20,550
Okay, that'd be cool.

458
00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:24,163
Of course... there's also
Monday Night Football.

459
00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:28,602
And Thursday.

460
00:19:28,645 --> 00:19:31,126
That would be a lot of
driving back and forth.

461
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,997
Especially
without your mama's gas card.

462
00:19:35,043 --> 00:19:37,045
Well, maybe...

463
00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:39,613
you should finish out
the season here.

464
00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:42,790
That does seem like
the logical solution.

465
00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:44,661
Yeah, all right.

466
00:19:44,705 --> 00:19:47,925
Well, uh, maybe you should
just stay for a little while.

467
00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:50,014
Yeah, for a little while.

468
00:19:50,058 --> 00:19:51,494
All right.
Well, good. Come on.

469
00:19:51,538 --> 00:19:53,670
Let me help you get
these boxes in, son.

470
00:19:53,714 --> 00:19:54,976
Hey, you know what, Pop?

471
00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:57,413
If I am gonna stay
here for a little while,

472
00:19:57,457 --> 00:19:59,589
I think I should
start paying rent.

473
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:01,200
You damn straight you are.

474
00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:04,072
And I'm talking market rate.

475
00:20:04,115 --> 00:20:05,943
I don't play
that rent control.

476
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:15,388
Hey, Dave. You take Brittany
to the airport?

477
00:20:15,431 --> 00:20:17,303
Actually, the train station.

478
00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:20,175
She says the airport is
"bounty hunter central."

479
00:20:21,481 --> 00:20:22,960
Well, congratulations.

480
00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:24,527
You got rid of your freeloader.

481
00:20:24,571 --> 00:20:26,877
Oh, not me.
It was all Gemma.

482
00:20:26,921 --> 00:20:28,705
What about you?

483
00:20:28,749 --> 00:20:31,055
Uh, you and Malcolm
figure everything out?

484
00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:35,146
Yeah. You know, um, he and Tina
begged me not to kick him out,

485
00:20:35,190 --> 00:20:38,149
so, what are you gonna do,
you know?

486
00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:40,717
Dave, we got to go.

487
00:20:40,761 --> 00:20:42,110
Where?

488
00:20:42,153 --> 00:20:43,633
The train station
just called.

489
00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:45,287
Apparently,
they have a jail.

490
00:20:46,897 --> 00:20:48,551
Oh, check out
this crazy white girl

491
00:20:48,595 --> 00:20:50,161
fighting on YouTube.

492
00:20:50,205 --> 00:20:51,815
Brittany?!

493
00:20:52,903 --> 00:20:55,079
Damn!

494
00:20:55,123 --> 00:20:56,994
She put that conductor
to sleep.

495
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,346
And look at that.

496
00:21:00,389 --> 00:21:02,261
She's wearing my sunglasses!

497
00:21:06,613 --> 00:21:09,659
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

498
00:21:09,703 --> 00:21:13,272
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
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