1 00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:12,708 Wine country, here we come. Yes. 2 00:00:12,751 --> 00:00:16,059 The car is loaded, and in a few hours we will be, too. 3 00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:19,149 Ooh, this is gonna be the best girls' trip ever. 4 00:00:19,193 --> 00:00:23,153 Gemma, I love America, but there is no country like wine country. 5 00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:27,027 Okay, so one last decision before we hit the road: 6 00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:29,812 Which one pairs best with chardonnay, 7 00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:33,555 Jeanette or Tamika? Ooh. 8 00:00:33,598 --> 00:00:35,426 Oh, what about that curly black one 9 00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:37,559 that got us kicked out of that club in Vegas? 10 00:00:37,602 --> 00:00:40,214 Dominique? Oh, no, no, she's on the wagon. 11 00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:41,650 Oh. 12 00:00:41,693 --> 00:00:44,653 Uh-oh, Jeanette and Tamika. 13 00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:48,091 You can take one or the other, but you can't take both. 14 00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:50,137 I'm not bailing you three out again. 15 00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:53,662 Well, it looks like I'm gonna have to go with Tamika, 16 00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:56,186 so you better behave. 17 00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:58,536 So you want to come watch the transformation? 18 00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:01,191 Does my Aunt Mayvene dress up her cats for the holidays? 19 00:01:01,235 --> 00:01:04,629 I was hoping no, but sounds like yes. 20 00:01:04,673 --> 00:01:06,196 Yes. 21 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,720 I'm just glad she's not taking Dominique. 22 00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:11,114 That hair is trifling. 23 00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:13,769 What it do, C-Dawg? 24 00:01:13,812 --> 00:01:17,294 Oh, and I thought my biggest problem was gonna be the wig. 25 00:01:17,338 --> 00:01:19,905 So, since the ladies are gonna be gone, 26 00:01:19,949 --> 00:01:21,429 I got a little surprise for us-- 27 00:01:21,472 --> 00:01:24,867 front row tickets to tonight's game. 28 00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:28,305 Seriously? Courtside to the Laker game? 29 00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:31,265 C-Dawg is in. 30 00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:32,788 Well, actually, 31 00:01:32,831 --> 00:01:35,486 it's to the hockey game. 32 00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:40,230 Hockey? C-Dawg don't bark for hockey. 33 00:01:40,274 --> 00:01:42,667 Well, come on, it's gonna be great. 34 00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:45,148 Kings are playing the Red Wings-- it's an epic rivalry. 35 00:01:45,192 --> 00:01:46,149 Why don't you want to go? 36 00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:49,544 Well, for starters, I'm black. 37 00:01:49,587 --> 00:01:53,025 I know that's what everybody thinks about hockey, 38 00:01:53,069 --> 00:01:55,158 but the truth is, there's a lot of black players now. 39 00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:58,509 Yeah, but they're probably all Canadian, so that doesn't count. 40 00:01:58,553 --> 00:02:01,904 Come on, Calvin, don't be such a Negative Nancy. 41 00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:03,384 I'll tell you what, if at any point 42 00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:05,777 you're not having a good time, you can leave. 43 00:02:05,821 --> 00:02:07,431 Great. Bye-bye. 44 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,435 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 45 00:02:11,479 --> 00:02:12,741 ♪ Welcome to the hood. 46 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:19,139 Here's your beer. 47 00:02:19,182 --> 00:02:21,358 What'd I miss? Nothing. 48 00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:23,882 Just a bunch of guys with no vowels in their names 49 00:02:23,926 --> 00:02:25,145 skating in circles. 50 00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:28,148 I mean, the least they could do 51 00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:30,411 is light the puck on fire or something. 52 00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:33,153 Come on, Calvin, you're missing 53 00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:34,719 the finer points of the game here. 54 00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:37,679 I mean, look at these guys, they're incredible athletes, 55 00:02:37,722 --> 00:02:40,943 skating 20 miles an hour on a quarter-inch of steel. 56 00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:44,076 I don't know, man, I-I'm just not seeing it. 57 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,252 Oh! Oh! 58 00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:46,253 Oh, I saw that. 59 00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:48,690 CROWD: Oh!Oh, and that! 60 00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:50,082 Oh! 61 00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:52,128 With hits like that, who needs vowels? 62 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,696 Yeah! Get him! 63 00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:59,222 Wow, this place is beautiful. 64 00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:01,268 Now where's the wine? 65 00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:04,836 Ooh, there it is. Thank you. 66 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,403 I don't work here. 67 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,452 Oh, well, this is good stuff, you should get another one. 68 00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:15,238 Hello. 69 00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:17,632 Welcome to Coastal Breeze Winery. 70 00:03:17,675 --> 00:03:20,025 Hi. We have a reservation under Johnson. 71 00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:21,418 Hmm. If possible, 72 00:03:21,462 --> 00:03:23,246 no balcony. We may get crazy, 73 00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,857 and it's safer if we're in a room we can't fall out of. 74 00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:27,859 Oh, and, um, 75 00:03:27,903 --> 00:03:29,818 also nothing near the elevator. 76 00:03:29,861 --> 00:03:32,429 We don't want to be bothered by obnoxious drunks. 77 00:03:32,473 --> 00:03:33,822 GEMMA: Oh, yeah. 78 00:03:35,084 --> 00:03:37,565 Fill 'er up. 79 00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:39,741 Oh, my God, I can't believe it. 80 00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:42,831 You're Mary J. Blige. 81 00:03:42,874 --> 00:03:44,311 What? 82 00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:47,357 Oh, no, honey, it's the wig. 83 00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:51,753 My name is Tina Butler. 84 00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:55,800 Oh, I get it. Keeping things on the down low. 85 00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:57,106 Like me. 86 00:03:59,108 --> 00:04:02,198 Sorry to disappoint you, but she really is Tina Butler. 87 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:05,375 Well, for "Tina Butler's" privacy, 88 00:04:05,419 --> 00:04:08,726 I'm going to upgrade you to the penthouse suite. 89 00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:12,121 You can call me Mary J. 90 00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:25,961 Man, there are two things you don't want to be 91 00:04:26,004 --> 00:04:28,964 in a horror movie-- having sex or black. 92 00:04:34,012 --> 00:04:37,799 I mean, you, uh, you're not scared, are you? 93 00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:40,323 Please, Malcolm, I'm a grown man. 94 00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:42,020 I know scary movies aren't real. 95 00:04:55,207 --> 00:04:57,384 What the hell is wrong with you guys? 96 00:04:57,427 --> 00:04:59,516 Us? Nothing. 97 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,214 Can't-can't two brothers scream together? 98 00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:04,695 MALCOLM: Yeah, uh, 99 00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:07,045 Pop, what's with the outfits? 100 00:05:07,089 --> 00:05:08,699 Oh, we went to the hockey game together. 101 00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:12,094 Yeah, and it was awesome. Give me some. 102 00:05:16,881 --> 00:05:19,057 Hey, so we on for tomorrow night? 103 00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:21,451 Pink Floyd laser show at the planetarium? 104 00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:23,061 Oh, you can "planet" on it. 105 00:05:23,105 --> 00:05:24,324 Okay, see you tomorrow, buddy. 106 00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:26,064 Bye, guys. See you, Dave. 107 00:05:26,108 --> 00:05:27,370 Yeah. 108 00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:34,812 What? 109 00:05:34,856 --> 00:05:36,858 Uh, you're wearing a hockey jersey, 110 00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:39,121 you're going to a Pink Floyd laser show, 111 00:05:39,164 --> 00:05:41,166 and you just made a pun about planets. 112 00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:43,517 Come on, man, I thought it was "punny." 113 00:05:45,693 --> 00:05:47,172 Okay, it's official, 114 00:05:47,216 --> 00:05:49,871 you are turning into a very tan Dave. 115 00:05:49,914 --> 00:05:53,048 I am not turning into Dave. 116 00:05:53,091 --> 00:05:55,485 So you're saying you're a Pink Floyd fan? 117 00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:58,314 Yeah, all his new stuff is great. 118 00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:03,493 I don't know, Pop, ever since you and Dave became friends, 119 00:06:03,537 --> 00:06:05,277 you are kind of a different person. 120 00:06:05,321 --> 00:06:06,757 MARTY: Yeah, you don't go to 121 00:06:06,801 --> 00:06:09,064 Ernie's anymore, you don't play dominoes with the boys, 122 00:06:09,107 --> 00:06:11,414 and just the other day I saw you put a quarter 123 00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:13,373 in someone else's parking meter. 124 00:06:13,416 --> 00:06:15,418 It's called paying it forward, 125 00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:18,595 which also happens to be an excellent movie. 126 00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:21,511 Okay, who are you, and what have you done with our father? 127 00:06:23,121 --> 00:06:24,558 Man, y'all tripping. 128 00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:26,777 You're just being a couple of Negative Nancys. 129 00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:30,215 Who said that? 130 00:06:31,608 --> 00:06:33,436 Did you see the bathroom? 131 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:36,439 I mean, if this isn't the nicest hotel I've ever seen, 132 00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:38,267 then my name isn't Mary J. Blige. 133 00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,966 Your name isn't Mary J. Blige. 134 00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:44,665 It's Tina J. Liar. 135 00:06:46,493 --> 00:06:49,234 Oh, come on, Gemma, we're not hurting anyone. 136 00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:52,020 I know, but aren't you worried about getting caught? 137 00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:53,456 A little, 138 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:56,720 but I think those free massages they're sending up 139 00:06:56,764 --> 00:06:58,940 will melt those worries away. 140 00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:01,333 Wait, when did you arrange that? 141 00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:04,293 I didn't, my publicist did. 142 00:07:04,336 --> 00:07:06,251 And if anyone asks you, you're my publicist. 143 00:07:06,295 --> 00:07:09,124 No. Tina, 144 00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:11,169 we are never gonna be able to pull this off. 145 00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:13,563 Just because one guy thought you were Mary J. Blige 146 00:07:13,607 --> 00:07:15,391 doesn't mean you can fool a whole hotel. 147 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,219 Of white people? 148 00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:20,309 Honey, I could tell them I was Martin Luther King, 149 00:07:20,352 --> 00:07:21,571 and they'd believe it. 150 00:07:23,181 --> 00:07:25,053 All this free stuff just doesn't 151 00:07:25,096 --> 00:07:26,707 seem like it's worth the risk. 152 00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:29,623 Gemma, this is not about free stuff. 153 00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:30,841 Then what is it? 154 00:07:30,885 --> 00:07:33,061 Well, I know this may sound silly, 155 00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:34,802 but ever since I was a little girl, 156 00:07:34,845 --> 00:07:37,152 I always wanted to be a famous singer, 157 00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:40,285 and now for the next couple of days, I can be. 158 00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:41,939 I mean, didn't you ever dream like that? 159 00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:44,376 Yes. 160 00:07:45,639 --> 00:07:47,597 Back when I was growing up in Hickory Corners, 161 00:07:47,641 --> 00:07:51,209 I always dreamed of being the Fall Festival Hog Queen. 162 00:07:53,298 --> 00:07:55,257 What is that and why? 163 00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:57,520 It is the biggest honor in town. 164 00:07:57,564 --> 00:08:00,784 You get a sash, a tiara, and you get to ride down Main Street 165 00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:04,962 on a float pulled by a team of pigs. 166 00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:07,225 What a relatable story. 167 00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:09,140 I would've won, too. 168 00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:11,665 I crushed the bacon-eating contest, 169 00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:15,843 but that damn greased pig got away from me every time. 170 00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:18,062 Gemma, I never thought I would say this, 171 00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:21,152 but being Mary J. Blige... 172 00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:25,113 ...is my greased pig. 173 00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:35,427 BOTH: Morning. 174 00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:44,567 Hey, look at that. 175 00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:48,353 Great minds dress alike.We're not dressed alike. 176 00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:50,660 My shirt has little blue squares, and yours has, um, 177 00:08:50,704 --> 00:08:53,402 little blue boxes. 178 00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:55,883 I don't know. 179 00:08:55,926 --> 00:08:57,362 Looks pretty similar to me. 180 00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:59,277 Yeah, well, no one else would think that. 181 00:08:59,321 --> 00:09:03,543 Look at you two, twinsies! 182 00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:14,815 Hey, what's up, boys? 183 00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:16,294 Well, what is up with you, 184 00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:19,210 Run-DMC, you're having a midlife crisis? 185 00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:22,649 Very funny. For your information, 186 00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:25,042 I'm kicking it with my old dance crew tonight. 187 00:09:25,086 --> 00:09:27,828 Your old dance crew? 188 00:09:27,871 --> 00:09:29,873 Didn't Keith just have hip surgery? 189 00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:33,094 Yeah. You know, he's still got his handicap placard, 190 00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:36,053 so we get to park right in front of the club. 191 00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:37,533 But I thought you were supposed to go 192 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,969 to the planetarium tonight? 193 00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:41,406 Yeah, man, but those planets gonna be there forever. 194 00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:44,235 Keith's handicap placard, it expires next week. 195 00:09:46,063 --> 00:09:49,458 Come on, Pop, is this because we teased you about becoming Dave? 196 00:09:49,501 --> 00:09:54,115 No. This is about me getting back in touch with my roots, 197 00:09:54,158 --> 00:09:55,812 about not forgetting who I am. 198 00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:57,858 And who exactly is that? 199 00:09:57,901 --> 00:10:01,209 Calvi-tronic, the Bionic Breaking Machine. 200 00:10:10,522 --> 00:10:12,220 Oh. 201 00:10:12,263 --> 00:10:13,961 I don't know about a breaking machine, 202 00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:15,963 but something just broke inside of me. 203 00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:21,708 Uh-oh, there's Dave. What you gonna tell him? 204 00:10:21,751 --> 00:10:24,536 I'm a grown-ass man. 205 00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:25,973 I'm not afraid 206 00:10:26,016 --> 00:10:28,323 to tell him what's what. 207 00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:30,368 I'm gonna tell him I'm sick. 208 00:10:32,806 --> 00:10:36,157 Hey, Calvin. You ready to roll? 209 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,507 Nice blanket. I have one just like it. 210 00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:41,118 Can't go tonight, man. I'm sick. 211 00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:42,467 Oh, no. 212 00:10:42,511 --> 00:10:44,295 Got sick at the hockey game. 213 00:10:44,339 --> 00:10:46,515 It was really cold in there, man. 214 00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:53,914 Really? You know, 215 00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:55,567 they keep the rink at 65 degrees. 216 00:10:55,611 --> 00:10:58,135 I know, but for black people, that's like 32. 217 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,922 Okay, well, feel better, buddy.Yeah. 218 00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:05,273 Bye, guys. Okay... 219 00:11:05,316 --> 00:11:07,405 Damn, Pop, that was cold. 220 00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:09,364 I know. 221 00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:11,235 32 degrees, baby. 222 00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:21,245 Ooh, that was an amazing massage. 223 00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:22,377 Not as good as the one yesterday, 224 00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:24,771 but better than the one this morning. 225 00:11:24,814 --> 00:11:27,425 It was pretty great. 226 00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:29,689 But do you feel like we're taking advantage? 227 00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:33,214 Ooh, yay! That must be our second lobsters. 228 00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:35,520 Hi, Jeffrey. 229 00:11:35,564 --> 00:11:37,218 Hi. This is awkward, but... 230 00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:39,655 We can explain. I wanted to be Hog Queen. 231 00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:44,704 Don't... don't mind my publicist. 232 00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,401 She has a pill problem. 233 00:11:48,185 --> 00:11:49,796 So what can we do for you? 234 00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:52,624 Well, one of our guests is celebrating her birthday 235 00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:55,323 later tonight in the lounge, and I was hoping... 236 00:11:55,366 --> 00:11:58,282 that Ms. Blige could pop by for a quick hello. 237 00:11:58,326 --> 00:12:00,328 Okay, honey, 238 00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:02,939 that sounds like fun.Oh, and you know 239 00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:05,463 what would be even more fun? If she sings "Happy Birthday." 240 00:12:05,507 --> 00:12:06,856 Oh, yeah, that'd be real... 241 00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,075 Wait, what?! 242 00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:12,035 Oh, that is so amazing. Thank you. 243 00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:13,950 I am much obliged. 244 00:12:13,994 --> 00:12:15,169 You see what I did there? 245 00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:16,170 Did you see it? Fun. 246 00:12:16,213 --> 00:12:18,607 Okay. 247 00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,522 What the hell, Gemma? 248 00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:22,263 How tight is that towel? 249 00:12:23,438 --> 00:12:25,135 Tina. Don't you see? 250 00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:26,441 This is your dream. 251 00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:28,225 Tonight's your night to be famous. 252 00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:30,140 Yeah, but as soon as I open my mouth, 253 00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:32,621 they're gonna know that I'm not Mary J. Blige. 254 00:12:32,664 --> 00:12:35,972 No, they won't. You have an amazing voice. 255 00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:38,583 Yeah. But still! 256 00:12:38,627 --> 00:12:42,239 Besides, it's like you said, this is a winery. 257 00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:44,807 Everyone here is whiter than the chardonnay. 258 00:12:44,851 --> 00:12:48,245 Well, it does sound kind of fun. 259 00:12:48,289 --> 00:12:50,160 Now you're talking. 260 00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:52,380 And, hey, maybe I could be your backup singer. 261 00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:54,425 Stay in your lane, pig girl. 262 00:12:57,864 --> 00:13:00,431 Oh, hey, uh, Dave. 263 00:13:00,475 --> 00:13:03,173 I thought you were going to the planetarium. 264 00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:05,393 Well, I was, but I realized it wouldn't be as much fun 265 00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:07,264 without Calvin, so I decided to stay home 266 00:13:07,308 --> 00:13:08,526 and make him some soup. 267 00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:09,527 How's he doing? 268 00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:12,095 Better.Worse. 269 00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:13,531 Well, which is it? 270 00:13:13,575 --> 00:13:15,359 Worse.Better. 271 00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:19,842 Okay, well, uh, maybe the soup will help.Yeah. 272 00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:22,279 Just tell him I'll check in on him tomorrow. 273 00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:28,329 Yeah. 274 00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:31,636 Hey. 275 00:13:35,336 --> 00:13:37,077 Calvin, what are you doing out of bed, 276 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,774 and why are you dressed so funky fresh? 277 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,950 Uh, 278 00:13:40,994 --> 00:13:42,734 I went to the drugstore to get some medicine. 279 00:13:42,778 --> 00:13:44,301 Where is it? 280 00:13:44,345 --> 00:13:46,608 Damn it, I knew I forgot something. 281 00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:49,350 Hold on. 282 00:13:49,393 --> 00:13:52,179 Calvin, did you lie to me about being sick? 283 00:13:52,222 --> 00:13:54,964 No. Because I amsick. 284 00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:56,531 I let down my defenses 285 00:13:56,574 --> 00:14:00,013 and got all infected with your Dave-ness. 286 00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,016 Wh-- Infected? 287 00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:05,322 Yeah, I mean, you got me going to hockey. 288 00:14:05,366 --> 00:14:07,411 I mean, you and I are dressing alike. 289 00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:09,500 The other day a Taylor Swift song came on, 290 00:14:09,544 --> 00:14:11,415 and I didn't even turn it off. 291 00:14:11,459 --> 00:14:14,418 Actually, he turned it up. 292 00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:20,250 I didn't know having things in common was being infected. 293 00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:22,252 I thought that was being friends. 294 00:14:22,296 --> 00:14:24,428 Uh... 295 00:14:24,472 --> 00:14:25,821 Dave.No, you know what, Calvin? 296 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,431 You said your piece. Enjoy the soup. 297 00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:30,478 It's infected, too. With love! 298 00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:37,877 Ooh... thank you for making me do this, Gemma. 299 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:39,879 I'm feeling kind of hyped. 300 00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:42,446 Oh, good. You're here. 301 00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:44,535 Thank you again for doing this, Ms. Blige. 302 00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:46,059 Okay. So the birthday girl's name 303 00:14:46,102 --> 00:14:47,582 is Cynthia, and she is sitting 304 00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:48,496 right over there. 305 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:54,415 She is not going to believe this! 306 00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:57,113 No, she is not. 307 00:14:57,157 --> 00:15:01,204 Okay, so I'm gonna go introduce you. Showtime! 308 00:15:02,597 --> 00:15:04,468 Tina, they're not white! 309 00:15:04,512 --> 00:15:05,513 They're gonna know. 310 00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:07,732 Okay. All right. Gemma... 311 00:15:07,776 --> 00:15:08,995 let's get the hell out of here. 312 00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:11,040 Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only 313 00:15:11,084 --> 00:15:12,563 Mary J. Blige! 314 00:15:12,607 --> 00:15:15,262 Oh... Gemma. 315 00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:18,569 How you doing? 316 00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:20,658 Oh, what the hell are we gonna do? 317 00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:22,965 Okay. Okay. It's gonna be fine. 318 00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:24,010 You're gonna go up there, 319 00:15:24,053 --> 00:15:25,663 you're gonna sing your heart out, 320 00:15:25,707 --> 00:15:27,970 and you're gonna live your dream. Okay? 321 00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:29,406 You're right. You're right. 322 00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:30,407 This is my chance. Yes. 323 00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:31,582 I got this. 324 00:15:31,626 --> 00:15:32,888 But just in case... 325 00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:37,458 It'll be harder to describe me to the police. 326 00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:41,810 Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. 327 00:15:41,853 --> 00:15:44,291 Hey, how you doing? 328 00:15:44,334 --> 00:15:46,467 Well, this song goes out 329 00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:48,077 to my girl Cynthia. 330 00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:55,824 ♪ Happy birthday 331 00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:57,826 ♪ To you 332 00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:01,786 ♪ Happy 333 00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:04,702 ♪ Birthday to 334 00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:07,096 ♪ You 335 00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:10,534 ♪ Happy birthday 336 00:16:10,578 --> 00:16:12,754 ♪ Dear Cynthia 337 00:16:14,364 --> 00:16:18,064 ♪ Happy birthday 338 00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:20,718 ♪ To 339 00:16:20,762 --> 00:16:23,199 ♪ You. 340 00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:28,291 Thank you. 341 00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:30,467 Thank you so much, Ms. Blige. 342 00:16:30,511 --> 00:16:32,121 That was simply beautiful. 343 00:16:32,165 --> 00:16:33,557 Awesome. I'm not done yet. 344 00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:37,344 "Family Affair," hit it! 345 00:16:39,259 --> 00:16:42,523 ♪ Yeah, yeah 346 00:16:42,566 --> 00:16:44,351 ♪ Oh, yeah 347 00:16:44,394 --> 00:16:47,528 ♪ Come on, everybody! 348 00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:48,529 Isn't she amazing? 349 00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:50,531 She is. 350 00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:52,837 But she sure as hell ain't Mary J. Blige. 351 00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:57,103 Okay, look. She's my best friend, 352 00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:58,756 and she's up there living her dream. 353 00:16:58,800 --> 00:16:59,801 So? 354 00:16:59,844 --> 00:17:01,716 So, if you don't rat us out, 355 00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:03,370 you can have our penthouse suite, 356 00:17:03,413 --> 00:17:05,241 all the massages we have scheduled for tomorrow, 357 00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:06,460 and... 358 00:17:07,591 --> 00:17:08,636 68 bucks. 359 00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:15,338 ALL: Go, Mary! Go, Mary! Go, Mary! 360 00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:17,906 ♪ Let's get it crunk upon 361 00:17:17,949 --> 00:17:20,343 ♪ Have fun upon up in this dancery ♪ 362 00:17:20,387 --> 00:17:23,694 ♪ We got ya open, now you're floatin' ♪ 363 00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:25,827 ♪ So you gots to dance for me 364 00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:28,351 ♪ Don't need no hateration 365 00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:30,962 ♪ Holleration in this dancery 366 00:17:31,006 --> 00:17:33,487 ♪ Let's get it percolatin', while you're... ♪ 367 00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:37,621 Hey, Dave. 368 00:17:37,665 --> 00:17:38,927 Yeah, careful, Calvin. 369 00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:40,494 You don't want to catch anything else. 370 00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:43,366 I've been told my laugh is pretty contagious. 371 00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:45,325 Look, man... 372 00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:46,935 I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, 373 00:17:46,978 --> 00:17:49,372 but I just felt like your Dave-ness 374 00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:51,505 was rubbing off on me too much. 375 00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:53,072 Well, what's wrong with that? 376 00:17:53,115 --> 00:17:55,378 Why can't friends rub off on each other? 377 00:17:57,337 --> 00:18:00,427 Rubbing off on people is completely natural. 378 00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:02,472 I welcome people rubbing off on me. 379 00:18:04,779 --> 00:18:08,130 If anybody's listening, we're just neighbors! 380 00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,741 I just don't understand why it's such a bad thing 381 00:18:10,785 --> 00:18:13,179 for friends to influence each other. 382 00:18:13,222 --> 00:18:15,050 You don't think that I've changed because of you? 383 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,747 How have youchanged? 384 00:18:16,791 --> 00:18:18,575 I'm more assertive, like you, 385 00:18:18,619 --> 00:18:20,360 I'm more confident, like you, 386 00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:22,275 and if someone's being a jackass, I now tell them 387 00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:23,667 they're being a jackass... 388 00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:25,887 jackass. 389 00:18:25,930 --> 00:18:27,584 One more compliment like that, 390 00:18:27,628 --> 00:18:29,020 and we're gonna have a problem. 391 00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:31,806 Calvin, we already do have a problem. 392 00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:33,416 Why would I want to be friends with someone 393 00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:36,202 who thinks being me is such a bad thing? 394 00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:37,551 'Cause I'm dope. 395 00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:41,294 And your attitude-- it's... wickity-wack. 396 00:18:42,730 --> 00:18:47,474 Look, Dave, I don't think being you is a bad thing. 397 00:18:47,517 --> 00:18:49,171 All right, you're a good dude. 398 00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:51,391 But Calvin Butler has an edge. 399 00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:53,915 And around here, people see me a certain way, 400 00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:55,482 and I don't want to lose that. 401 00:18:55,525 --> 00:18:56,874 Fine, but don't blame me 402 00:18:56,918 --> 00:18:59,877 because Taylor Swift sang her way into your heart. 403 00:18:59,921 --> 00:19:02,489 I don't know what it is, she just gets me. 404 00:19:04,926 --> 00:19:06,449 But you're right. 405 00:19:06,493 --> 00:19:11,150 I shouldn't have done that, and, uh... I'm sorry. 406 00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:15,502 You know what? It, it's okay. 407 00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:17,591 You know what's better than okay? 408 00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:19,332 That soup you made. 409 00:19:21,551 --> 00:19:23,640 I knewyou'd like it. 410 00:19:23,684 --> 00:19:25,599 I used the parsnips we got from the farmers market. 411 00:19:25,642 --> 00:19:27,209 Oh, yeah, right. From the lady... 412 00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:30,169 BOTH: With the yellow overalls. 413 00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:32,649 No, that's too much.Yeah, this is getting weird. Okay. 414 00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:44,226 Hey, man. We were in the middle of a game. 415 00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:45,445 Not anymore. 416 00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:48,448 It's been canceled on the account of dance. 417 00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:51,538 Oh, come on, Dad. We don't want to see 418 00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:53,192 your tired old dance moves. 419 00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:56,325 Yeah. And I'm not helping you up this time. 420 00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:59,502 Nah, man. What you're about to see is all new. 421 00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:00,721 Yo, D-Money! 422 00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:12,907 Let's get stupid. 423 00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:15,039 ♪ Uh! 424 00:20:17,955 --> 00:20:18,956 ♪ Uh! 425 00:20:21,611 --> 00:20:23,744 ♪ Uh! 426 00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:27,269 ♪ Uh! 427 00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:31,230 ♪ Uh! 428 00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:39,847 Are-are we gonna sit here and watch this? 429 00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:41,675 Hell no. 430 00:20:41,718 --> 00:20:43,459 Let's battle these fools. 431 00:20:43,503 --> 00:20:45,505 ♪ Uh! 432 00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:49,422 ♪ Uh! 433 00:20:52,990 --> 00:20:54,470 ♪ Uh! 434 00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:57,691 ♪ Uh! 435 00:20:58,692 --> 00:20:59,693 ♪ Uh! 436 00:21:02,086 --> 00:21:03,566 ♪ Uh! 437 00:21:03,610 --> 00:21:05,568 Captioning sponsored by CBS 438 00:21:05,612 --> 00:21:08,702 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org