1
00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:11,011
Hey, what's up,
little man?

2
00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:12,751
Oh, hi, Mr. Calvin.

3
00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:15,058
Me and my dad are about
to do some hoops.

4
00:00:15,102 --> 00:00:18,061
I think you mean
"shoot some hoops."

5
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,497
No, he doesn't.

6
00:00:21,325 --> 00:00:24,633
Tryouts for the Walcott Academy
Hula-Hoop squad are next week,

7
00:00:24,676 --> 00:00:27,636
and Grover's got to
get his game hips on.

8
00:00:29,725 --> 00:00:31,640
Hula-Hoop tryouts?
Mm-hmm.

9
00:00:31,683 --> 00:00:32,815
Don't you just show up

10
00:00:32,858 --> 00:00:35,165
and any kid who has asthma
is in?

11
00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:36,993
Actually, it is
very competitive.

12
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,690
It's the second most
popular sport at school,

13
00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:40,518
after Mathletics.

14
00:00:40,562 --> 00:00:42,477
And that one's for nerds.

15
00:00:43,913 --> 00:00:46,176
So, are you telling me
that no one

16
00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:50,572
at this little hippie school
of yours plays real sports?

17
00:00:50,615 --> 00:00:53,749
How do you tell the cool kids
from the losers?

18
00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:56,143
Oh, Caleb's definitely cool.

19
00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:58,710
He can Hula-Hoop
around his neck.

20
00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:02,975
And his dad won't let
anyone forget it.

21
00:01:03,019 --> 00:01:05,587
Okay, listen to me, Dave.

22
00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:08,068
Look, the youth basketball team
I coach

23
00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:09,678
is starting a new season.

24
00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:11,767
Do Grover a favor--
let him join us.

25
00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:19,601
Like, right now.

26
00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:23,518
I don't know. You know,
Grover's never played

27
00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:25,346
organized sports before.

28
00:01:25,389 --> 00:01:27,130
Come on, Dave,
it'll be good for him.

29
00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:29,089
Like... look,
I don't like to brag,

30
00:01:29,132 --> 00:01:31,047
but I'm the best coach in town.

31
00:01:32,396 --> 00:01:34,964
Maybe in all of California.

32
00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:38,576
I guess it would be
good for Grover

33
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:39,664
to learn about
winning and losing.

34
00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:41,405
Not on my team.

35
00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:44,147
No, we've gone undefeated
the last two seasons.

36
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:46,584
He's gonna have to learn
that losing part from you.

37
00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:49,979
All right, what do you say, bud?

38
00:01:50,022 --> 00:01:51,981
You want to join
Mr. Calvin's basketball team?

39
00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:53,765
Sure. Sounds fun.

40
00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:58,030
Great. Practice starts
tomorrow, but for now,

41
00:01:58,074 --> 00:02:00,163
why don't you show me
what you got.

42
00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:02,296
All right, now, come on, buddy.All right.

43
00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:04,211
Show him those Johnson skills.

44
00:02:05,255 --> 00:02:07,257
CALVIN:
Come on. All right.

45
00:02:12,958 --> 00:02:15,961
You know what, uh,
let's try it with this one.

46
00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:19,487
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

47
00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:20,836
♪ Welcome to the hood.

48
00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:27,669
Hey, Mom.

49
00:02:27,712 --> 00:02:29,888
Hey. How was
basketball practice?

50
00:02:29,932 --> 00:02:32,239
It was great!
Coach Calvin made me

51
00:02:32,282 --> 00:02:34,676
the most important position
on the team.

52
00:02:34,719 --> 00:02:36,417
Really? That's incredible.

53
00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:38,245
What are you, the point guard?

54
00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:39,420
Better.

55
00:02:39,463 --> 00:02:41,161
The equipment manager!

56
00:02:45,513 --> 00:02:47,645
What? You can't be
the equipment manager.

57
00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:49,430
That's the job
they give the kids who...

58
00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:53,390
Who care the most
about the team.

59
00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:56,437
It's so cool.

60
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,483
I'm in charge of
the basketballs and towels,

61
00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:02,704
and no one gets Gatorade
without going through me.

62
00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:04,488
Mm.

63
00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:06,534
Yeah, he might not need
to wear a cup, but...

64
00:03:06,577 --> 00:03:09,493
he sure
can fill one.

65
00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:12,627
I'm gonna go practice
handing out orange slices.

66
00:03:14,759 --> 00:03:17,458
If only Caleb could see me now.

67
00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:20,243
Yeah, you go get 'em, son!

68
00:03:21,592 --> 00:03:24,073
Kid's got a heart of a champion.

69
00:03:24,116 --> 00:03:25,683
No, what the kid has got is

70
00:03:25,727 --> 00:03:27,250
the most embarrassing job
on the team.

71
00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:29,731
Ugh! Being the equipment manager
is like being

72
00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:31,820
the tree in the school play.

73
00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:34,388
Hey, I was the tree
in the school play.

74
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:38,392
Don't throw shade
until you've provided it.

75
00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:40,307
Oh, God.

76
00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:44,572
Seriously, how could you
let Calvin do that to him?

77
00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:46,269
Oh, well, Gemma...

78
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:47,531
he was awful.

79
00:03:47,575 --> 00:03:49,968
I mean, he couldn't shoot,
he couldn't pass,

80
00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:53,058
and when he jumped,
I don't know, somehow...

81
00:03:53,102 --> 00:03:55,104
he got lower.

82
00:03:56,584 --> 00:03:58,499
How is that even possible?

83
00:03:58,542 --> 00:03:59,761
No one knows.

84
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:07,203
Aw, how about this one?

85
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,553
Your old hall monitor vest.

86
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,557
Keep or trash it?

87
00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:16,343
Uh, trash. I don't want
to be one of those guys

88
00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:17,692
that's stuck
in his glory days.

89
00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:22,218
Whoa, what is
going on in here?

90
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,134
Looks like somebody turned a
nerd upside down and shook him.

91
00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:30,008
No, we're just clearing out
a few of Marty's old things.

92
00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:31,706
Your father was complaining
about my stuff

93
00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:33,142
crowding his side of the closet.

94
00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:35,318
Oh, so you're moving
some of your stuff here?

95
00:04:35,362 --> 00:04:36,667
No, his.

96
00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:39,148
And if he complains again,

97
00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:40,628
he's getting moved here, too.

98
00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:44,806
Hey, check it out--
my old snake terrarium.

99
00:04:44,849 --> 00:04:47,199
Oh, yeah,
I remember Slinky.

100
00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:49,245
You thought you would look cool
showing up at parties

101
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,551
with a snake around your neck.

102
00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:53,031
Well, I would have
if he hadn't escaped.

103
00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:55,382
Or if you were ever invited
to a party.

104
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,820
Malcolm, stop being so
mean to your brother.

105
00:04:58,863 --> 00:05:00,604
Yeah, thanks, Mom.Now, get your old,

106
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,040
stupid childhood
crap out of here.

107
00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:04,478
Out of here.

108
00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:08,569
I don't blame Slinky
for running away.

109
00:05:08,612 --> 00:05:11,136
I would take off, too,
if my owner was

110
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:14,226
an "Official Klingon
Ambassador."

111
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:17,447
Well, actually...

112
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:20,276
Slinky didn't exactly run away.

113
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,495
What?

114
00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:22,583
Ooh, I hated that thing.

115
00:05:22,626 --> 00:05:24,367
It freaked the hell out of me.

116
00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:27,588
So, one day, you
boys were in school,

117
00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:30,591
and I put it in a bag and
drove it to the woods.

118
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:34,464
You let it go?

119
00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:36,161
Yeah, let's go with that.

120
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,904
I can't believe
Marty never found out.

121
00:05:39,948 --> 00:05:41,471
And he never will, right?

122
00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:44,648
Hey, well, don't worry,
I did not hear a thing.

123
00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:46,258
Yeah.

124
00:05:46,302 --> 00:05:47,738
But I did!

125
00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:57,531
Calvin.

126
00:05:57,574 --> 00:05:59,663
Oh. Hey, Gemma.

127
00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:00,795
Equipment manager?

128
00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:03,101
You made my son
the equipment manager?

129
00:06:03,145 --> 00:06:04,973
Hey.

130
00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:08,498
It's the most important person
on the team...

131
00:06:08,542 --> 00:06:11,240
who's not technically
on the team.

132
00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:14,722
Calvin, I played
varsity lacrosse,

133
00:06:14,765 --> 00:06:17,115
and we all know what happens
to equipment managers.

134
00:06:17,159 --> 00:06:19,727
They get teased and
shoved into lockers.

135
00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:22,730
At least that's what
we did to ours.

136
00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:25,646
Yeah, those were
the good old days, right?

137
00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:29,040
I stuffed more geeks
into lockers than I did books.

138
00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:32,870
Calvin, being on a team
made me resilient.

139
00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:34,611
It toughened me up.

140
00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:36,308
And that's what I
want for Grover.

141
00:06:36,352 --> 00:06:38,223
But...

142
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:41,096
he's the worst player
I've ever coached.

143
00:06:41,139 --> 00:06:43,359
And I coached Marty.

144
00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:46,580
It was one practice.

145
00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,451
I'm sure he'll get better.

146
00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:50,148
Besides, I thought
you told Dave

147
00:06:50,192 --> 00:06:52,412
you were the best
coach in the world.

148
00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:54,718
I never said that.

149
00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:56,372
I'm not an egomaniac.

150
00:06:57,852 --> 00:06:59,375
I said California.

151
00:07:00,768 --> 00:07:02,378
Look, it was your idea

152
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,728
to put him on the team
in the first place, so...

153
00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:06,121
put him on the team.

154
00:07:06,164 --> 00:07:09,864
Unless you want to be
stuffed into a locker.

155
00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:20,527
Wow.

156
00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:23,443
For a tiny little white girl,
she's kind of scary.

157
00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:27,621
I can't believe it.

158
00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:30,014
You murdered Slinky.

159
00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:31,712
Well, it was self-defense.

160
00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:33,714
As soon as he saw
my snakeskin boots,

161
00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:35,672
I knew he was coming for me.

162
00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:39,067
Yeah, hey, look, come on, Marty.

163
00:07:39,110 --> 00:07:41,635
It's been almost 15 years, man.
Let it go.

164
00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:43,375
Well, it's easy
for you to say.

165
00:07:43,419 --> 00:07:45,856
You're not the one
who loved him, cared for him,

166
00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:48,598
took him outside
for his nightly slithers.

167
00:07:50,295 --> 00:07:51,732
Okay, Marty,

168
00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:52,820
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have

169
00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:54,299
gotten rid of your
pet like that.

170
00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:56,171
What can I do to
make it up to you?

171
00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:57,389
Well, that depends.

172
00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:58,956
What else have you
lied to me about?

173
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,828
Did my old Space Camp buddy
Winston Chang

174
00:08:00,871 --> 00:08:03,439
really move back to China,
or did you kill him, too?

175
00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:08,575
Okay, Marty, come on.

176
00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:10,794
Let me do something
to make you feel better.

177
00:08:10,838 --> 00:08:12,143
Like what?

178
00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:13,580
Anything. Just name it.

179
00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:16,278
Well, I-I do love
your seafood jambalaya.

180
00:08:16,321 --> 00:08:18,019
Oh.

181
00:08:18,062 --> 00:08:20,021
Wow.

182
00:08:20,064 --> 00:08:22,763
I mean, with all the shopping
and the prep,

183
00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:24,852
that's gonna take all day.

184
00:08:24,895 --> 00:08:26,723
Yeah, you're right.
It does take a lot of time.

185
00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:30,031
Yeah.Although death is forever.

186
00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:37,560
Okay. Fine.
I'll go to the market right now.

187
00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:38,822
Well, hey, Ma, since
you out there...

188
00:08:38,866 --> 00:08:40,084
I didn't kill your pet.

189
00:08:46,047 --> 00:08:48,440
Oh, man, I'm really
surprised how upset you are.

190
00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:50,834
I didn't realize how much
you loved that snake.

191
00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:53,533
Well, actually...

192
00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:58,233
I hated that damn thing!

193
00:08:58,276 --> 00:09:00,104
What?

194
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,497
Well, it was terrifying.

195
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,455
Like a giant piece
of spaghetti with teeth.

196
00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:07,416
All right, well,

197
00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:09,549
then why are you giving
Mama such a hard time?

198
00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:12,552
I'll tell you why-- to teach her
a lesson in honesty.

199
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:14,902
By lying to her?

200
00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:18,427
Well, I-I wouldn't
call it lying.

201
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:19,907
Okay, then what
would you call it?

202
00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:21,386
Well, I...

203
00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:23,606
Oh, give me a break, Malcolm.
I'm in mourning.

204
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,434
What?

205
00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:28,306
Okay, Grover, you ever
heard the phrase

206
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:30,439
"he got game"?Sure.

207
00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:31,962
Well, you ain't got none.

208
00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:36,924
But I promised your mom
I'd turn you into a player,

209
00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:38,621
and that's what I'm gonna do.

210
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:43,147
But I can't dribble,
I can't shoot, I can't pass.

211
00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:46,455
Don't forget you suck
at rebounding, too.

212
00:09:46,498 --> 00:09:48,152
I know.
If I have to play,

213
00:09:48,196 --> 00:09:50,372
I'm just gonna go out there
and embarrass myself.

214
00:09:50,415 --> 00:09:53,201
Oh, oh, oh, don't worry.
Look, I got a plan.

215
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:55,812
You remember when
Jorge tried to get

216
00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:57,814
the extra orange
slice at practice

217
00:09:57,858 --> 00:09:59,947
and you slapped his hand away?

218
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:01,296
Not on my watch.

219
00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:08,869
That's why I'm gonna
make you the enforcer.

220
00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:10,218
The enforcer?

221
00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:12,960
That kind of sounds
like a superhero.

222
00:10:13,003 --> 00:10:14,265
It is.

223
00:10:14,309 --> 00:10:17,225
But instead of saving people,
your job

224
00:10:17,268 --> 00:10:19,009
is to elbow them,

225
00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:22,056
foul and scare the crap
out of other kids.

226
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:24,928
Am I allowed to do that?

227
00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:27,017
Up to six times a game.

228
00:10:28,497 --> 00:10:29,890
Okay, so here.

229
00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:31,892
Pretend I'm on
the other team

230
00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:33,067
and we're fighting
for a rebound.

231
00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:34,372
Show me what you got.

232
00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:35,504
Come on.

233
00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:42,206
: And your mom
said I wasn't a good coach.

234
00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:54,915
Oh, look at Grover
out there.

235
00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:58,222
He looks so grown-up
in his uniform.

236
00:10:58,266 --> 00:11:00,398
Mommy loves you,
snuggle bug!

237
00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:01,922
Mommy!

238
00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:05,099
I'm so nervous for him.

239
00:11:05,142 --> 00:11:06,840
It feels like opening
night at the school play.

240
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:08,493
My leaves were
shaking so bad,

241
00:11:08,537 --> 00:11:10,974
they had to add a line
about the gusty wind.

242
00:11:13,324 --> 00:11:14,630
Come on,
bring it in.

243
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,284
All right, guys.

244
00:11:16,327 --> 00:11:17,938
We're gonna go out there,
we're gonna play hard,

245
00:11:17,981 --> 00:11:20,418
we're gonna have fun,
but most importantly,

246
00:11:20,462 --> 00:11:23,421
show good sportsmanship.

247
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:25,293
Go Lions!TEAM: Roar!

248
00:11:25,336 --> 00:11:26,903
Let's get it.

249
00:11:26,947 --> 00:11:28,731
Whoa, whoa, hey, Grover.

250
00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:31,560
All that good sportsmanship
stuff doesn't apply to you.

251
00:11:31,603 --> 00:11:32,779
Got it.

252
00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:35,869
Hey-hey, and, uh,
here's your mouth guard.

253
00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:37,566
Safety first.

254
00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:39,002
Yours, not theirs.

255
00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:42,571
Thanks, Coach Calvin.

256
00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:47,402
Oh, my God,
Grover's starting.

257
00:11:48,185 --> 00:11:50,666
That's my son!
Number 12!

258
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,059
That's my
snuggly son!

259
00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:55,627
Wow, yesterday Grover
was the water boy.

260
00:11:55,671 --> 00:11:57,020
Today he's in
the starting five.

261
00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:58,805
I mean, at this rate,
tomorrow he's gonna be...

262
00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:03,200
Foul, number 12!

263
00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:05,289
...in jail.

264
00:12:15,473 --> 00:12:17,649
Dude.Yo, what's up, man?

265
00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:21,349
Don't tell me you guilted Mom
into baking you a pie?

266
00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:23,525
I sure did.

267
00:12:23,568 --> 00:12:26,136
Revenge is a dish
best served à la mode.

268
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:31,098
Okay, Marty, I'm off
to clean your apartment.

269
00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:33,230
Thanks, Mama.

270
00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:35,842
Now, you sure you're okay
doing this for me?

271
00:12:35,885 --> 00:12:38,061
Oh, anything for my baby.

272
00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:40,585
Great. Make sure you use
the pine scent,

273
00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:42,370
because the lemon
tickles my nose.

274
00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:46,113
Okay, let me see if I have any.

275
00:12:46,156 --> 00:12:49,159
I should've took hisass
to the woods.

276
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,772
You know what?
That's it, man.

277
00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:53,860
You're taking
this too far.

278
00:12:53,903 --> 00:12:55,296
I'm telling Mama the truth.

279
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:57,124
Well, would a piece
of this delicious blueberry pie

280
00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,560
change your mind?

281
00:12:58,603 --> 00:13:00,954
Do you seriously think
you can buy me off with pie?

282
00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:03,173
What about tickets
to the Lakers game?

283
00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:07,308
Mama got you Laker tickets?

284
00:13:09,614 --> 00:13:12,487
Not yet, but if I can figure
out how to make myself cry,

285
00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:16,012
it'll be Jack Nicholson,
you, and me on the floor.

286
00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:19,581
Okay, I'm off.

287
00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:22,062
Here come the tears.Aah!

288
00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:26,022
Oh, oh...

289
00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:27,632
Oh, I know.

290
00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:32,072
It's okay, baby bro.

291
00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:34,030
Slinky's in heaven now.

292
00:13:37,207 --> 00:13:39,079
What the hell is going on
out there?

293
00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:41,168
Grover's
out of control.

294
00:13:41,211 --> 00:13:43,126
Okay, uh...

295
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:45,041
so we got off to a pretty
aggressive start,

296
00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:47,000
but I think he's
beginning to calm down.

297
00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:50,481
I mean, he hasn't fouled
anybody in almost two minutes.

298
00:13:50,525 --> 00:13:52,440
Dave,
it's a time-out.

299
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:56,792
Okay. Come on!

300
00:13:58,272 --> 00:14:00,187
Look, maybe Calvin
called the time-out

301
00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:02,102
to tell Grover
to keep his elbows to himself.

302
00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:05,061
REFEREE:
Foul, number 12!

303
00:14:08,673 --> 00:14:10,197
That's it.
I'm talking to Calvin.

304
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,894
Okay, I'm coming, too.

305
00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:13,983
Even the parents on our team
look like they want to kill us.

306
00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:16,768
Come on, ref!

307
00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:18,379
That kid traveled so much,

308
00:14:18,422 --> 00:14:20,990
it's like he's going to see
his real daddy for the weekend.

309
00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:25,690
Calvin?

310
00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:28,128
What the hell?
Grover's acting like an animal!

311
00:14:28,171 --> 00:14:29,477
I know, right?

312
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:34,612
Forget California, I may be
the best coach in the world.

313
00:14:34,656 --> 00:14:37,311
I asked you to teach him
how to play basketball,

314
00:14:37,354 --> 00:14:39,269
not turn him
into a goon.

315
00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:42,142
Hey, you told me
to toughen him up.

316
00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,752
Plus, we're winning.

317
00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:46,886
He might not even have
to use his last two fouls.

318
00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:50,324
REFEREE:
Foul, number 12!

319
00:14:52,326 --> 00:14:54,894
Okay, one foul.

320
00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:58,201
So you're not gonna do
anything about this?

321
00:14:58,245 --> 00:15:00,943
No. Not in the
middle of a game.

322
00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:02,597
Fine. Then I will.

323
00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:06,296
Hey!

324
00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:10,300
Oh, God, this is my mom
at the school play

325
00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:12,259
all over again.

326
00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:14,565
You want to teach my kid
how to play dirty?

327
00:15:14,609 --> 00:15:17,307
Good luck doing it without this.

328
00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:30,364
She does know we have a whole
rack of balls right here, right?

329
00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:36,152
This pie
is delicious.

330
00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:37,501
Yeah, I know.

331
00:15:37,545 --> 00:15:39,155
I always thought the
secret ingredient was love.

332
00:15:39,199 --> 00:15:42,724
Turns out, it's guilt.

333
00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:45,292
Hey, boys.
Hey.
Hey, Mama.

334
00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:46,336
What's that?

335
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:48,948
A gift for you.
I think I finally

336
00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:50,819
figured out something
that will make up

337
00:15:50,862 --> 00:15:52,516
for what I
did to you.

338
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:53,996
Oh, Mom,
you shouldn't have.

339
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,693
Although, given
your savage betrayal,

340
00:15:55,737 --> 00:15:56,825
you probably should have.

341
00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:59,132
All right, well,

342
00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:00,698
open it, baby.

343
00:16:00,742 --> 00:16:02,178
Okay, well, whatever it is,

344
00:16:02,222 --> 00:16:03,353
hopefully it'll make me forget

345
00:16:03,397 --> 00:16:06,835
the memory of
my precious-- snake!

346
00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:13,363
Yeah. See, I realized
that there's no amount

347
00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:16,192
of cooking and cleaning
that could replace your snake.

348
00:16:16,236 --> 00:16:20,283
But maybe one that's
twice as big could.

349
00:16:20,327 --> 00:16:22,851
Ooh-ooh!Ah!

350
00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:25,288
Aw! Do you love it?

351
00:16:25,332 --> 00:16:26,637
I know Ido.

352
00:16:26,681 --> 00:16:28,335
Ooh.

353
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:31,338
Here, come on, let me
put him around your neck.

354
00:16:31,381 --> 00:16:34,863
Oh, look at him. Oh,
look at that, aw...

355
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:39,215
He's so cute.

356
00:16:39,259 --> 00:16:41,478
Look at him, Mama.

357
00:16:41,522 --> 00:16:43,393
He's so happy,
he's about to cry.

358
00:16:45,352 --> 00:16:47,310
He gonna die.

359
00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:49,530
Get it off.

360
00:16:49,573 --> 00:16:52,228
What, wha-what'd you say, baby?
I can't hear you.

361
00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:54,622
Get the snake--
get it-- get it off.Get it off?

362
00:16:54,665 --> 00:16:56,754
Like, take it off of your neck?
Oh, okay.

363
00:16:56,798 --> 00:16:58,756
Let me hold... You want
me to hold him? Okay.

364
00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:06,329
And that's what you get
for messing with your mama!

365
00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:07,896
You better ask somebody!

366
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:12,379
So you knew, huh?

367
00:17:12,422 --> 00:17:14,816
Hell yeah, I knew!

368
00:17:14,859 --> 00:17:17,210
I heard you two talking
when I was in the kitchen.

369
00:17:17,253 --> 00:17:19,429
Um, how much did you hear?

370
00:17:19,473 --> 00:17:22,345
Mmm, about this much!Aah!

371
00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:26,175
Selling out your own
mother for a Laker ticket?

372
00:17:26,219 --> 00:17:28,482
You're an even bigger
snake than this one!

373
00:17:29,657 --> 00:17:31,267
Uh-oh,
where'd it go?

374
00:17:34,357 --> 00:17:36,098
Aw, hell no!

375
00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:38,274
I'm moving!
I'm moving!Go!

376
00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:45,281
Mom, Mom, you should've seen it!
I made the game-winning play!

377
00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:47,457
You scored a basket?

378
00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:50,721
No, I would have had to touch
the ball to do that.

379
00:17:53,855 --> 00:17:55,987
Oh, so you fouled another kid.

380
00:17:56,031 --> 00:17:58,120
Oh, no. He
didn't have to.

381
00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,730
The best player
on their team

382
00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:01,297
was about to score
the game-winning shot,

383
00:18:01,341 --> 00:18:02,994
but then, when
he saw Grover,

384
00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:05,432
he threw up an airball
and peed himself!

385
00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:10,001
Hey, come on, buddy.
Let's go inside.

386
00:18:10,045 --> 00:18:11,786
You should probably shower,
and, uh,

387
00:18:11,829 --> 00:18:14,180
I should probably
call an attorney.

388
00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:19,141
Well, Calvin,
congratulations.

389
00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:20,534
You turned my son into a monster

390
00:18:20,577 --> 00:18:23,014
just so you could win
a stupid basketball game.

391
00:18:23,058 --> 00:18:24,146
I hope you're happy.

392
00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:26,714
When you say it like that,

393
00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:28,150
it sounds like
I'm not supposed to be.

394
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:30,283
Oh!

395
00:18:30,326 --> 00:18:32,067
You're unbelievable.

396
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,286
Look, Gemma.

397
00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:35,157
You said that he had to play.

398
00:18:35,201 --> 00:18:37,159
Well, this is the only way
that he could do it

399
00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:38,726
without embarrassing himself.

400
00:18:38,769 --> 00:18:40,597
Oh, really?

401
00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:42,121
So this was just
about protecting him

402
00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:44,645
and not your precious
winning streak?

403
00:18:44,688 --> 00:18:46,125
Why can't it be both?

404
00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:50,738
Calvin, this was
supposed to be

405
00:18:50,781 --> 00:18:54,611
about teaching Grover
the value of being on a team.

406
00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:56,178
I trusted you.

407
00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:57,745
Think about it.

408
00:18:57,788 --> 00:19:01,444
If Grover would've went out
there and played terrible,

409
00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:05,535
and we lost, all the other kids
would have blamed him.

410
00:19:05,579 --> 00:19:07,885
And then he would never
want to be on a team again.

411
00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:09,191
Is that
what you want?

412
00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:11,280
Well, obviously not.

413
00:19:11,324 --> 00:19:13,413
But I also don't want kids
wetting their pants

414
00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:14,588
when he walks into a room.

415
00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:18,200
Look, I was just trying

416
00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:19,810
to give him
a role on the team

417
00:19:19,854 --> 00:19:21,508
where he could feel good
about himself.

418
00:19:21,551 --> 00:19:23,771
Yeah, but there's nothing
to feel good about

419
00:19:23,814 --> 00:19:27,209
if he's not playing
the right way.

420
00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:29,994
All right. Okay.

421
00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:32,214
I hear you.

422
00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:36,000
Maybe I took it
a little too far.

423
00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:37,219
I apologize.

424
00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:38,742
Thank you.

425
00:19:38,786 --> 00:19:40,135
But you got
to admit,

426
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,616
he was having a good time
out there.

427
00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:46,141
He did have a pretty
big smile on his face.Yeah.

428
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:49,275
So I guess I have to
give you credit for that.

429
00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:52,843
Well, you don't vote yourself
best coach in California

430
00:19:52,887 --> 00:19:54,410
for nothing.

431
00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:58,806
I'll tell you what,
I'll keep working with Grover

432
00:19:58,849 --> 00:20:01,417
on his fundamentals,
bring him up to speed.

433
00:20:01,461 --> 00:20:02,897
Thank you.

434
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:06,248
And promise me, next
game, no more fouling.

435
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:07,684
Not a problem.

436
00:20:07,728 --> 00:20:10,296
You don't have to worry
about that at all.

437
00:20:10,339 --> 00:20:12,298
He's been suspended
for the rest of the season.

438
00:20:18,608 --> 00:20:20,306
Hey, Calvin...

439
00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:25,267
I just hit 12 minutes.
Personal best.

440
00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:28,488
I've been watching
for five seconds.

441
00:20:28,531 --> 00:20:30,141
Personal worst.

442
00:20:30,185 --> 00:20:32,231
All right, come on.

443
00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:33,710
Why don't you
give it a try?

444
00:20:33,754 --> 00:20:35,582
Absolutely not.

445
00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:38,062
Calvin, you have
the wrong attitude.

446
00:20:38,106 --> 00:20:40,151
It's stop making fun ofit

447
00:20:40,195 --> 00:20:41,414
and start making fun

448
00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:43,764
a-withit.

449
00:20:45,418 --> 00:20:49,335
Fine.
I'll give it a spin.

450
00:20:52,425 --> 00:20:53,774
Hey, man!

451
00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:56,342
Huh.

452
00:20:56,385 --> 00:20:58,605
That was more fun
than I thought.

453
00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:00,650
Snake!

454
00:21:00,694 --> 00:21:02,870
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

455
00:21:02,913 --> 00:21:04,915
Captioned by
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